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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25519249">Mood Tattoo</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealsunday/pseuds/surrealsunday'>surrealsunday</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>SKAM (France)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Hospital, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, Falling In Love, Love/Hate, M/M, Med AU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:29:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>251,465</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25519249</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/surrealsunday/pseuds/surrealsunday</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Eliott Demaury is a promising surgical intern. One of the best if not the best. And he plans to live up to his reputation while proving the words surgeon and compassion can go hand in hand. There’s one thing – one person – standing in his way. Lucas Lallemant. Just as talented if not more – though Eliott would only admit as much under some form of torture. Lucas is the epitome of everything Eliott refuses to be: cold, egotistical, callous. Eliott won’t let it get to him – won’t let Lucas get to him. Eliott has decided to trust his gut. He knows what he wants, and he knows what he doesn’t.</p><p>*Fic is complete - will update weekly*</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>666</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>961</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A great big hello to any returning friends. You guys know how this goes - the fic is complete. I'll update with at least 1 chapter weekly as I edit. And truly - love you thank you forever and ever for the encouragement and for coming back! And welcome to any newbies! </p><p>This is a medical au but I don't work in the medical field. This will not be Grey's Anatomy unrealistic but it won't be perfectly realistic either... it will hopefully fall somewhere in a middle ground. Unrealistic enough for me to tell the story I wanted to, not so unrealistic as to drive those of you in the medical field up the wall ;)</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>He’s late. He’s always late but it won’t matter. Because he’s the favourite. The <em>best</em>. The most talented. The steadiest hand and sharpest mind. Biggest talent and bigger ego. And no, there’s not even a lick of innuendo to be found in that. Because it’s not like that. Not between them.</p><p><em>Lucas Lallemant</em>. Eliott thinks the name with spite, watching with narrowed eyes as the ego in question jogs up to the group, pulling his scrubs down over a rumpled shirt. His pants hang low on one side of his hips, not yet cinched and the cut of his hip bone stands out as they drift lower still, tanned skin that looks far too soft for the body it’s attached to. Eliott drags his eyes away and back to Mika, who watches Lucas approach with a forgiving smile. Because it doesn’t matter how unprofessional Lucas is – he can run through the hospital halls late and half naked on his way to early morning rounds – he’ll still be met with that indulgent expression on their resident’s face. Eliott doesn’t understand it and he more than a little resents it, but he’s long since come to accept it. Lucas is untouchable. Eliott’s only real competition. The shining star of the surgical interns only ever told off with an amused smile and occasional, ‘Better shape up, Lallemant,’ or worse, ‘<em>Kitten</em>,’ spoken with no reproach whatsoever. It grates on Eliott especially when Mika calls Lucas that.</p><p>“Late, Lallemant?” Mika asks unnecessarily, as Lucas comes to a stop at the front of the group.</p><p>“Only fashionably so,” Lucas says with a wink and grin, and is rewarded by an amused roll of the eyes from Mika before he turns back to the group and continues with his summary of the coming days duties, turning and leading down the hall. It shouldn’t annoy Eliott the way it does. He should be used to it – the way Lucas never has to answer for his irresponsibility – but it cuts deeper every day… every day Eliott shows up on time… no, <em>early</em>… prepared and organized and… <em>ready. </em>When all Lucas needs to do is jog up looking like he’s just rolled out of bed… a bed he’s no doubt left occupied… eyes puffy, clothes rumpled, lips swollen and bitten red, and hair a tangled mess.</p><p>Lucas rakes a hand back through the aforementioned bird’s nest atop his head, but it looks less like he’s trying to tame it than it does ruffle it further. A stray hair falls down over Lucas’s eyebrow, catching on his eyelashes. Eliott’s hand twitches.</p><p>“You could wear a cap you know.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flick to him immediately, looking surprised only for a split second before irritation slips over his features like an opaque veil. One side of his mouth pulls up in an expression too insincere to be a smile. He produces his cap from his pocket, waving it in front of himself with exaggerated flare but making no moves to put it on.</p><p>“Thanks for the tip,” Lucas smiles falsely, “but not all of us have hair we feel the need to hide.” His eyes move intentionally to what Eliott knows was a particularly haphazard attempt at taming his own hair. The corners of Eliott’s mouth pull down and his skin prickles. It was a suggestion. That’s all. A simple suggestion to tame the chaos that is Lucas’s hair on a daily basis. It’s always falling in Lucas’s eyes when he bends down over patients. And while Eliott is hardly one to tell someone how to dress<em>, </em>ensuring some level of professional decorum – <em>especially </em>when interacting with patients – is hardly a lot to ask. But of course, Lucas rejects the suggestion like a personal insult, choosing to spend his days looking unkempt and – and, anyways, a childish insult as a reply is all too like him.</p><p>“Creative,” Eliott replies with an insincere smile of his own. “You planning on pulling my pigtails at recess too?”</p><p>“Ah,” Lucas nods, “so that’s what you like to hide under your cap, hunh? Knew you had the temperament of a twelve-year-old girl. Didn’t realize you had the hair of one too.”</p><p>“Wow,” Eliott scoffs, perhaps a little too loud considering Mika is still leading the days pre-rounds and they’re surrounded by other, actually attentive surgical interns. “Not just immature but sexist too. What a catch you are.”</p><p>“It’s not sexist if it’s a reasonable observation,” Lucas disagrees, attention ahead on Mika and looking aggravatingly calm. His gaze drifts back to Eliott, a considering look in his eyes now. Eliott desperately wants to look away but finds himself trapped staring back. “Though perhaps that’s unfair.” He smirks. “Twelve-year-old girl would probably wipe the floor with you on a playground.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “Twelve-year-old girls aren’t to be messed with. You ever met one? They’d wipe the floor with both of us.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth twitches and if Eliott didn’t know better he would say that was the beginning of a real smile. But he does. Know better.</p><p>“Anyways,” Lucas dismisses, “I’m not here to be a <em>catch</em>.” He parrots back the word as though the idea were utterly ridiculous – as though <em>Eliott</em> were utterly ridiculous.</p><p>“Right,” Eliott tears his eyes away from Lucas with some difficulty, focusing on where Mika has paused to read a patient’s chart, “you’re late getting here every day because you were reading bedtime stories to the kids in the cancer ward, I’m sure. Nothing to do with who you were fucking the night before.”</p><p>Lucas’s hand is suddenly wrapped around Eliott’s forearm, nails biting into the sensitive skin, pulling Eliott’s attention back to him immediately. “I’m sure it’s a shock to you,” he spits out, face mottled with anger, “but not all of us can rely on our looks to get us places, average.”</p><p>Eliott feels his face flood with heat. Out of embarrassment or anger he can’t be sure. Maybe a mixture of both. “Don’t call me that.” He wants to rip Lucas’s hand off him, but he doesn’t want to be the first to break their stalemate. Eliott locks his jaw, throwing as much spite into his glare as he can manage. Lucas’s nostrils flare.</p><p>“As much as I enjoy this sexy hateful banter thing you have going on,” Mika’s voice interrupts their standoff, “were you two planning on giving me your attention any time today, or should we continue without you?” Lucas releases Eliott’s arm and they both turn quickly towards Mika.</p><p>“Sorry, Mika,” Lucas responds, sounding instantly at ease if not a little flirty. “You know I can’t help but <em>rise</em> to the bait.” No one but Lucas gets away with talking to Mika like that – voice laced with filthy suggestion. Well… maybe Eliott could. Mika likes him too. But the point is, Eliott won’t ever find out because he has fucking <em>boundaries</em> in the workplace. Unlike <em>others</em>.</p><p>Mika sighs, not looking particularly annoyed. “Yes, well, as appreciative as you might be of the bait on offer…” He pauses to look pointedly in Eliott’s direction. The tips of Eliott’s ears burn. That hadn’t been what Lucas meant. It’s never what Lucas means. Mika continues, eyes drifting back to Lucas, “I’d appreciate if you could resist. At least until the end of morning rounds. If you’d be so kind, kitten.”</p><p>Lucas nods in acquiesce, stepping back slightly as though conceding the floor. Eliott does the same, staying next to Lucas, no further forward than back, both of their attention on Mika. Eliott hates that Lucas always does this. Always <em>distracts </em>Eliott and ends up all the better for it. Eliott works so fucking hard. To be the best. He studies to exhaustion. He shows up <em>early</em>, every single shift. He’s smart and quick on his feet, and <em>professional</em>. At least until he gets within two feet of Lucas. Lucas who shows up late every shift, who always has the right answer despite perpetually looking like he’s been up half the night fucking any and everyone on offer, who throws innuendo at their resident with a wink and witty rejoinder and is met by only affection and tolerance… Lucas, who shares the title of ‘best’ with Eliott and knows it, and relishes laying claim to the best assignments when Eliott is too slow speaking up. But not today.</p><p>When Mika asks who would like to handle the pre-op consult with Mrs. Lemieux, Eliott doesn’t hesitate.</p><p>“I’ll do it.”</p><p>Mrs. Lemieux – Claudine – is a lovely woman in her early-eighties waiting on a much-needed knee replacement. Her surgery had been scheduled for a few months from now, but an accident in her home had resulted in an emergency surgery being scheduled. She was a stubbornly independent woman who had thoroughly resented the limits her knee issues had put on her mobility, and in all her obstinacy had decided to tackle the stairs to the basement freezer in her home. Her knee had given out on the way down and she had fallen a good distance down the staircase before she managed to stop her fall with a grip on the handrail, but not before hitting her head on the metal bars.</p><p>Eliott was there with her when she was first admitted. She’s a sweet, soft-spoken woman, understandably nervous about her surgery given the increased risks due to her age, and she and Eliott had clicked. It had been a quiet afternoon when he’d first met her. Eliott had read the anxiety all over her face the moment he’d walked in the room. He’d calmed her with a game of cards and they’d chatting about her surgery in between sharing stories of their grandmothers – Eliott’s having taught him card games as a young boy. He’d found time over the course of the couple of days she’d spent having additional tests done to ensure her health before surgery, to visit with her and they’d become quite bonded. There’s absolutely <em>no one</em> else who would be better handling her pre-op. And yes… perhaps Eliott also heard Dr. Millet was going to allow the assigned intern in the OR for the operation, an opportunity far rarer than the Grey’s Anatomy’s of the television world would have one believe, but that was only a happy bonus.</p><p>He steps forward slightly, positioning his shoulder a little in front of Lucas and hears the other boy make a small sound of amusement.</p><p>“Demaury?” Mika looks to him before glancing down at the chart in his hand. “Looks like you handled the initial –”</p><p>“I saw her yesterday,” Lucas’s voice interrupts, shoulder bumping abruptly into Eliott’s as he steps forward. “There were some additional questions about medical history. As I handled that, it’s probably best I take care of pre-op.”</p><p>Additional questions about medical history? Since when?! And why had Lucas handled it when Eliott’s name was on her chart. Eliott takes a measuring breath, trying to stay calm despite the red cast of rage obscuring his vision.</p><p>“Fine,” Mika dismisses, barely looking up as he waves a hand in Lucas’s direction. “Lallemant then.”</p><p>“No.” A tremor runs through Eliott’s body. Shock at his own gall for speaking up. Mika glances up at him looking equally surprised and Eliott quickly explains, “Claudine is more familiar with me. She’ll be far more comfortable with me handling pre-op.”</p><p>“Claudine?” Lucas scoffs. “Not all of us have to be on a first name basis to do our job.”</p><p>Eliott swings his attention to Lucas, throwing back his shoulders as he turns. “I handled her admittance. I have a rapport with her. I should handle the pre-op.” Clinical. Factual. It’s the best way to handle this. He can’t let Lucas get to him.</p><p>Lucas turns to square his shoulders to Eliott. “And I handled all the details you missed.” He leans back slightly, crossing his arms, looking relaxed and smug. “It’s fine. I’m sure you were too busy making sure she was <em>comfortable, </em>to ensure we had a thorough medical history.”</p><p>Eliott’s vision narrows on Lucas, red at the corners. “The fact that you see her comfort as unimportant is the exact reason you <em>shouldn’t</em> be handling her pre-op. She’s anxious about the procedure and she knows me –”</p><p>“She knows me too,” Lucas challenges, infuriating smile pulling at the corner of one side of his mouth.</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott rolls his eyes, matching Lucas’s stance by crossing arms across his own chest. “I’m sure she got to know you and your ego really well.”</p><p>“I don’t need to be her best friend. We’re fucking surgeons, not therapists. You really love forgetting that don’t you?”</p><p>It is just like Lucas to see common decency as an outrageous trait for a surgeon to possess. “Showing empathy and compassion doesn’t make us therapists.”</p><p>“Doesn’t make us surgeons either. Not good ones.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “Forgive me if I don’t take <em>your</em> opinion on what makes a great surgeon all that seriously.”</p><p>Lucas steps closer, tilting his chin up as he speaks with smug confidence. “I don’t see why you wouldn’t. I <em>am </em>great.”</p><p>Eliott matches his step, closing the space left between them and forcing Lucas to look tilt his head back even further to hold Eliott’s gaze. “So am I.”</p><p>“<em>Alright</em>,” Mika’s voice interrupts them, speaking loudly over their enraged breaths, “<em>you two have barely held a scalpel. Calm the fuck down.”</em></p><p>The sounds and sights of the hospital hallway surrounding them slowly trickle back into Eliott’s consciousness and he realizes with no small amount of horror that he’s once again let Lucas get the better of him... let himself be baited into another unprofessional argument with the irritating, cocky, ridiculous, blue-eyed, egotistical –</p><p>“I’m all for foreplay,” Mika continues, and Eliott hears a few of the other interns giggle, “but I don’t have time for this right now. Both of you go.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks in horror.</p><p>“Mika,” Lucas adds, his tone communicating his own objection.</p><p>Mika raises an eyebrow. “You two either go and handle this together or you’re spending the day on lab duty. <em>Together</em>.” That effectively shuts them both up. “Good.” Mika nods satisfied. “Now go.”</p><p>Lucas moves first and Eliott rushes to match his stride.</p><p>“And hey,” Mika calls after them, causing them both to turn back towards him, “next time you feel the need to do this,” he gestures with a finger back and forth between them, “go find an empty on-call room and <em>really</em> work it out, would you?” The interns around him openly laugh.</p><p>“Fuck off, Mika,” Lucas says, turning back to continue down the hall.</p><p>For once, Eliott is inclined to agree with the sentiment.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>They don’t speak, tension stretching taught and dangerous between them as they make their way to Claudine’s room.  They both move for the door, bumping shoulders and freezing as they realize one of them will have to go first.</p><p>Eliott steps back, nodding for Lucas to continue. “After you.”</p><p>His gesture is met with an eye roll. Because to Lucas basic civility is apparently some sort of affront, but he moves ahead, regardless.</p><p>“Mrs. Lemieux,” Lucas announces their presence loudly, his tone cold and professional.</p><p>As he enters behind Lucas, Eliott can see Claudine had been dosing. She startles, making a sound of surprise as she struggles to pull herself to an upright position in her bed. Eliott moves forward quickly.</p><p>“Here, Claudine. Let me help.” He wraps an arm around her back and helps her settle a pillow behind her.</p><p>“Oh, Eliott, darling,” she pats his arm and offers a warm smile, “thank you. I’m afraid I’m not feeling quite myself.”</p><p>“That’s perfectly normal,” Eliott assures, settling on the edge of the bed and taking her hand in his. “I’m sure you’re dealing with some nerves.”</p><p>“Oh just a few,” she laughs lightly. “But I got a call from Chase.”</p><p>“Your grandson?” Eliott smiles. Claudine is absolutely enamoured with her grandson and had spent at least a half hour devoted to speaking solely about him last time they’d chatted.</p><p>She nods, returning his smile. “I think I should take that as a sign that everything is going to go very well, don’t you?” There’s fear hidden in the depths of her eyes.</p><p>“Of course it is,” he assures, rubbing her hand between his own. “Dr. Millet is the best orthopedic surgeon in the hospital. You’re in good hands.”</p><p>“I met him yesterday,” she says, looking past Eliott towards Lucas, “with… I’m so sorry, I don’t quite remember your name…”</p><p>“Dr. Lallemant,” Lucas replies. His voice sounds a bit odd and Eliott can’t help but turn to look in his direction. He’s standing a ways back from the bed as though he thinks the genial conversation between Eliott and Claudine might be catching. He doesn’t look particularly uncomfortable but there’s a definite impatience to the way he shifts his weight from foot to foot.</p><p>“Dr. Lallemant,” Claudine repeats. “Yes, that’s right.” She turns her attention back to Eliott. “Dr. Millet wanted to discuss the fall and the test results. Oh dear, what was it again…?”</p><p>“The MRI,” Lucas speaks again. A familiar thrum of anger reverberates through Eliott’s chest. He’s the one who should have been here with Dr. Millet to discuss those results with Claudine. How fucking <em>Lucas</em> managed to weasel his way into doing so, Eliott can only imagine. He dismisses the emotion, however, conscious of not wanting to project any negativity when already around an anxious patient.</p><p>“And?” He asks gently, offering a small smile of encouragement Claudine’s direction.</p><p>“It’s all in her charts.” Lucas’s voice again, sounding one part amused, one part impatient. Eliott clenches his jaw and ignores him entirely.</p><p>Claudine’s gaze moves curiously between the two of them before her eyes rest once more on Eliott. “It’s all fine, dear.” Eliott knows this of course. Her surgery would not be moving forward if any other scenario were true, but Eliott is relieved to hear it all the same.</p><p>“I’m glad.”</p><p>“Now then,” Claudine pats Eliott’s hand, “I imagine you’re here with Dr. Lallemant for something other than a Gin Rummy rematch.”</p><p>Eliott scoffs, humour lacing his tone. “You wish I’d give you a rematch.”</p><p>Claudine tuts with reproval. “Your grandmother should have taught you to always let the old lady win.”</p><p>“I told you,” Eliott laughs, “my grandmother was cutthroat. I was five when she taught me how to play and even then, she didn’t let me win.”</p><p>“Yes, but she hadn’t met me,” Claudine sniffs, tipping her chin up slightly. “I’m sure she would have been on my side.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t stand a chance,” Eliott agrees. “The two of you together would have been what dreams are made of. That much beauty in one room… I’m not so sure my heart could have handled it.”</p><p>Claudine laughs, subtle pink decorating her cheeks. “Oh hush. What a charmer.”</p><p>“There are just some final details we have to go over. A physical. The anesthesiologist will come see you this morning as well. Then surgery this afternoon.” Lucas’s voice comes from behind Eliott, startling both he and Claudine. He swings his attention to Lucas before catching himself and redirecting his eyes back to Claudine.</p><p>“And you’ll be there?” Claudine asks, looking at Eliott, once again distinctly nervous. “During the surgery?”</p><p>“Uh…” Eliott hesitates. He wants to guarantee he will be, to ease her worries by assuring he’ll be there to hold her hand. But even if Dr. Millet requests one of the intern’s presence in the OR, it’s just as likely to be Lucas as it is Eliott. “Well, I’m not entirely –”</p><p>“He will be.” Lucas has come to stand to the side of where Eliott and Claudine rest, and Eliott looks to him in surprise. “I’m sure you can handle this, Dr. Demaury, and I have other things I could be doing.” The words evoke instant offense. And Eliott wants to be irritated by the implication that there are far more important duties to attend to than taking care of Claudine pre-op… but… is Lucas removing himself on Eliott’s behalf? So Eliott can complete the pre-op alone and be in a better position to potentially assist Dr. Millet in the OR? Nothing about that possibility sounds like the Lucas Eliott knows. He scrutinizes the blank expression on Lucas’s face. “Well?”</p><p>Eliott realizes with a start that Lucas is waiting for an answer. “Of course I can handle things.” His voice is ripe with indignation and Lucas expels a breath of humour in response.</p><p>“Mrs. Lemieux.” Lucas tips his head slightly towards her in parting. His eyes find Eliott’s for a split second more and then he’s turning to leave. There’s always a relaxed confidence to the way Lucas walks. Even when he moves with purpose it’s with a cocky swagger and sureness, as though he trusts, no matter how late he might arrive, the world will wait on <em>him</em>. Eliott watches as Lucas scrapes back his hair – <em>still </em>not wearing his cap – ruffling the strands into an even more disorderly frenzy before he moves out of sight.</p><p>When Eliott turns back to Claudine, she’s watching him closely, slight smile on her face and one eyebrow raised.</p><p>“No,” He answers the unspoken suggestion.</p><p>She laughs lightly. “I don’t believe I said anything.”  </p><p>“That look on your face said enough,” he huffs. “I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“And what am I thinking?”</p><p>“That I’m – that he and I…” He fumbles with how to possibly put into words such an absurd idea. “You know what I’m trying to say. It’s not like that.”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” she hums, looking unconvinced.</p><p>“Really,” Eliott insists. “I’m not being cagey.” He shakes his head frustrated, wondering how he could ever properly explain something he doesn’t totally understand himself. “We don’t get along. He doesn’t like me. He never has.”</p><p>“But you like him?”</p><p>Eliott sputters, “No. No! I didn’t say that. I don’t like him at all. He’s conceited and arrogant, and he’s incredibly rude even when there’s no need to be, and he’s unprofessional – he doesn’t take anything we do seriously – and he has this <em>huge</em> ego and –”</p><p>“He’s very attractive,” Claudine interrupts, persistent tilt to her lips.</p><p>“Claudine…” Eliott warns.</p><p>“It’s just an observation.” She leans towards him slightly, dropping her voice. “It’s ok to dislike someone, but still find them attractive. Sometimes that makes it even better.”</p><p>“Claudine!” Eliott laughs now, somewhat scandalized. “I’m not sure I needed to know that about you.”</p><p>“Come now.” She rolls her eyes with an affectionate smile. “I was young once. And Lucien – my late husband – he and I didn’t get on when we first met.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“Well I was engaged to one of his friends.”</p><p>Eliott’s jaw drops. “I can’t believe this! I’m seeing you in a whole new light, Claudine. Don’t tell me he stole you away.”</p><p>“Oh goodness, no,” she laughs, eyes drifting towards the window of her room as she gets lost in memory. “Lucien didn’t think I was good enough for his friend – my fiancé at that time, you see. And, oh dear, did he ever make his feelings known.” Her eyes move back to meet Eliott’s. “His distaste was mutual.”</p><p>“But?” Eliott encourages, utterly charmed by this retelling.</p><p>“But…” she adds with a secretive smile, “he was so very handsome.”</p><p>Eliott laughs loudly. “And that was all it took?”</p><p>“No, no.” She shakes her head, sharing in his laughter. “It was a bit of a journey before love.” There’s a melancholy to her remembrance now.</p><p>“How long were you married?” Eliott asks gently.</p><p>“Fifty-three years,” she answers, smiling. “He was the love of my life.”</p><p>“And to think, you might have written him off entirely if it weren’t for the fact you had the hots for him,” Eliott jokes, looking to lighten the pallor of sadness that’s been cast over the room.</p><p>“Hush.” She smacks his hand, laughing. “And I believe, before I went prattling on, we were talking about who you have the <em>hots</em> for.”</p><p>Eliott immediately rolls his eyes. “I don’t, Claudine. That requires more than a pretty face. I need to be attracted to <em>who</em> a person is. Someone like – well, my point is that if I find a person’s insides ugly, I can’t see them any other way.”</p><p>“Ugly,” she repeats, sounding surprised. “That is certainly a strong word.”</p><p>Guilt eats away at the lining of Eliott’s stomach for saying such a thing, referring to someone not present – to Lucas – as being ugly inside and out. The thought roils in his stomach, acidic and disagreeable. He tries not to let it show. “It’s deserved.” But he’s tired of discussing Lucas and he’s lingered too long without accomplishing anything – something he absolutely wouldn’t have gotten away with if Lucas had still been in the room. “Anyways, we should get to what I’m supposed to be doing before the ego comes back in here to yell at me.”</p><p>“Oh of course!” Claudine agrees, not looking upset by the quick change of subject. Eliott feels a little bad nevertheless, not having wanted to dismiss her.</p><p>“Maybe you can tell me about how you and Lucien ended your story in love while we finish up?” He suggests, standing and moving to the end of the bed to pick up the chart left there by Lucas.</p><p>“I think we’ll save that for another time.”</p><p>Eliott looks up at her in surprise to see Claudine’s eyes on him, smile gentle and understanding. “Another time?”</p><p>She nods. “I don’t think you’re quite ready for the full story. Not yet.”</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott finishes fairly efficiently, promising Claudine he’ll see her before her surgery whether he’s in the operating room or not, and quickly takes his leave. As much as he enjoys chatting with Claudine, their visit has eaten up more time than he intended. When he approaches the nurse’s desk it’s to the unfortunately familiar sight of Idriss sitting on the ledge of the desk, Lucas standing in front of him laughing, hand placed comfortably on Idriss’s thigh as Idriss gestures with exaggerated flair.</p><p>“Ah, there he is!” Idriss calls, smiling jovially.</p><p>Eliott eyes Lucas warily as he approaches. “Hey.” He directs the greeting at Idriss, carefully reserved and all too aware of the way Lucas’s eyes are on him.</p><p>“You realize if I’d handled that I would have been in and out of there in ten minutes tops, yeah?” Lucas. With an entirely unnecessary contribution to conversation.</p><p>Eliott turns a cool gaze on him, staying silent for a strained minute as though waiting for Lucas to continue. “Sorry, did you have a point?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “My point is that if you plan to become <em>bffs</em> with all our patients, you could at least stand to learn some efficiency.”</p><p>Eliott sees the opening shape before him and can’t help but take advantage. “Efficiency? Getting things done fast has never been my thing. More about quality of experience myself. But I suppose those lacking stamina might not have a choice. Not a great quality for a surgeon.”</p><p>“Don’t worry about my stamina, worry about your own. A surgery that can last all day, all night… with an unconscious patient? Who would you overshare with?!” He asks with exaggerated concern, eyes wide and full of mocking.</p><p>“All day and all night? You sure you’re in the right field?” He lets his eyes drag up and down Lucas’s body, catching slightly on the curve of Lucas’s waist before their eyes meet once more. “Seem more like a ‘wham, bam, thank you ma’am’ kind of guy.”</p><p>The corner of Lucas’s eye twitches in a clear tell of his irritation despite the placid smile on his face. “I’ll leave all the <em>ma’am</em>s to you actually.”</p><p>“You guys are determined to make this as fucking awkward for me as possible, aren’t you?” Idriss’s voice suddenly speaks from between them. “Either of you even remember I’m literally sitting right fucking here?” In point of fact, Eliott has forgotten entirely that Idriss was there. But the expression on Idriss’s face clearly states it was a rhetorical question.</p><p>Eliott should acknowledge him and apologize, but Lucas’s comment reminds Eliott of a question he’d meant to ask prior to getting distracted by their… whatever this is.</p><p>“Why did you?” He turns his attention back to Lucas and hears Idriss release an agonized sigh.</p><p>He’s caught Lucas off guard with the question and there’s a flicker of uncertainty on his face before he locks it down. “Why did I what?”</p><p>“Leave Claudine to me,” Eliott clarifies. “If you think you can skip out on the work and that I’ll stay silent as you take credit later –”</p><p>“When have I ever fucking done that?” Lucas interrupts irate. “And exactly what credit are you expecting? You handled a pre-op with a sweet little old lady –”</p><p>“Sweet?” Eliott cuts him off, a mocking lilt to his voice. “Careful or people might think you’re extending human emotion towards one of our patients.”</p><p>“Listen. I don’t need my patient to serve as some pseudo-grandma. I have family alright – a lot of family – I’m not searching for it here.” There’s a resignation to Lucas’s voice Eliott didn’t expect to hear. It catches him entirely unprepared. “I’m trying to do my job. Yeah, quickly, efficiently… so I can move on and do more. I don’t need to do it like you to do it well.”</p><p>Eliott is immediately robbed of all indignation. It’s stolen from him by that raw honesty on Lucas’s face. “I – I know that,” he stutters. “I’m –” He takes a measuring breath, reaching for some semblance of his previous righteous anger. “I’m not the one who’s always saying you should be doing things <em>my </em>way.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. Looking noticeably uncomfortable, he crosses his arms against his chest and looks away.</p><p>“OK!” Idriss announces loudly from between them. He reaches out to hit them both with the back of his hand across on their shoulders. “Now that you two have ruined the seriously chill vibe I had going on, at least tell me you’re coming to mine post-shift Friday.”</p><p>Eliott swings his attention to Idriss in an unintentional coordinated movement with Lucas. Idriss is glancing back and forth between the both, looking relaxed despite his complaints.</p><p>“Uh…” Eliott stalls, eyes flicking quickly to Lucas and back. Idriss never normally invites them like this – <em>together</em>. He always asks Eliott separately giving him a chance to not-so-subtly sort out whether Lucas will be there and answer accordingly.</p><p>“No,” Idriss interrupts, pointing a threatening finger towards them both as Lucas laughs lightly in response. “You’re not doing this usual avoiding one another bullshit.” So, it’s a day for just calling them both out. Eliott didn’t drink enough caffeine this morning for what this day is becoming. “I’ve had to reschedule like three times already ‘cause of everyone’s jacked hours. I know you’re both off Friday. Same as me. You’re <em>both</em> going to be there. Understood?”</p><p>“Ya know…” Lucas drawls, drawing Eliott’s attention back to him. He’s leaning back slightly, head tipped slightly to the side, cocky smirk pulling at the side of his mouth. “You’re sexy when you’re ordering me around.”</p><p>Eliott tenses. He hates when they’re like this. He hates that they’re such good friends – or… maybe not <em>hates</em>… he doesn’t understand it. Eliott was friends with Idriss first. Before they ever ended up working in the same hospital. Idriss is one of his <em>best</em> friends. Lucas has only known Idriss since starting at the hospital. And Lucas is… The Ego. And most importantly, a total asshole to Eliott. Idriss’s <em>friend</em>. Eliott is pretty sure it’s in the friend rulebook that one is to automatically hate their friends sworn enemies in solidarity. But no, instead Idriss had responded with, “<em>He’s funny. I like him,”</em> when Eliott had questioned his newfound comradery with the bane of Eliott’s existence.</p><p>“Think I don’t know that?” Idriss responds, grinning back. “Why else do you think I became a nurse? Only got in it for the chance to order assholes like you around.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes as he responds. “Yeah, I’ll be there if you can promise Sof’s gonna bring those cheese and olive pastry things.” Right. Because not only is Lucas friends with Idriss, but Sofiane too… also Eliott’s friend first. Lucas and Sofiane had met during one of the post-work hangouts at Imane’s, Eliott had chosen to bail on after hearing Lucas would be in attendance. Eliott locks his jaw in irritation.</p><p>“Can you promise me you’ll bring Manon?” Idriss challenges. That too had helped solidify the bond between the two – Idriss’s crush on Lucas’s friend, Manon. Eliott had only met her in passing when she’d once shown up to pick Lucas up from his shift, but he’d understood why Idriss had been so enamoured.</p><p>“You get that you don’t stand a shot with her, right man?” Lucas scoffs as though the idea were absurd.</p><p>“Why wouldn’t Idriss stand a shot?” Eliott asks, voice laced with a tension he can’t hide. How dare Lucas act as though his friends are <em>so much better</em> than Eliott’s!</p><p>Lucas turns his attention to Eliott. The look on his face resembles something like an adult using up the last of their patience to deal with a whining child. It only serves to piss Eliott off that much more. “She’s a political affairs officer with the U.N.” He says it as though that’s reason enough.</p><p>“And so?” Eliott prompts, feeling a renewed burst of righteous indignation. “She’s too good for him? Because Idriss is <em>just</em> a nurse?”</p><p>“<em>Fucking a chainsaw would be less painful than this</em>,” Idriss groans but Eliott can’t grant him the time it would take to explain how very insulting Lucas’s entire reasoning is. Breaking eye contact with Lucas right now would be as good as conceding defeat.</p><p>“I’m not the one who said that,” Lucas points out, turning his body to face Eliott fully. Eliott does the same. “Making assumptions is your specialty, yeah?”</p><p><em>What</em>?! Nothing could be further from the truth. “What is that supposed to –”</p><p>“Anyways,” Lucas cuts him off as though Eliott hadn’t been speaking at all, “there are more rounds to do and Mika’s gonna have my ass for taking this long as it is.” It’s so clearly a barb pointed in Eliott’s direction.<em> Asshole</em>. Lucas puts out his hand for Idriss to grab in parting. “I’ll be there. And I’ll ask Manon.”</p><p>“Cool, man.” Idriss releases his hand with a smile. Lucas doesn’t deign Eliott with a parting look, merely turning and walking away from them both. Eliott doesn’t watch him go.</p><p>“You are too, yeah?” It doesn’t sound much like a question when Idriss asks like that. Eliott sighs, nodding in defeat. “I don’t get you two,” Idriss adds, shaking his head.</p><p>“I don’t get <em>you two</em>,” Eliott sulks.</p><p>“What’s to get?” Idriss shrugs. “He’s a chill dude. And he treats me with respect. More than I can say for the majority of you douchebags.”</p><p>“I treat you with respect,” Eliott disagrees.</p><p>“It’s not the same. You know it’s not the same.”</p><p>Eliott nods reluctantly. He does know. It was a topic Idriss broached with Eliott when they learned they’d be working at the same hospital. Idriss had been ecstatic, as excited to work together as Eliott. It wasn’t until later that evening, a few drinks deep, that he’d admitted his reservations. A difficult conversation had followed wherein Idriss admitted the perceived hierarchy of the hospital resulted all too often, in a serious lack of respect being afforded to nurses by doctors – surgeons being the worst culprits. It’s not that the news was a total shock to Eliott. He was aware of surgeons’ reputations in general, and – in large part thanks to Idriss’s work-related stories – the shit nurses were expected to put up with on a daily basis. But imagining Idriss, Eliott’s best friend who commanded attention and respect wherever he went, being talked down to in any way was an image so bizarre to Eliott, he hadn’t fully accepted it as a reality he would see for himself once they existed in the same work place.</p><p>“Yeah, well,” Eliott pouts, refusing to let go of his well-earned sulk, “that doesn’t mean you need to be best friends with him. He’s still mean to me.”</p><p>“Awwwww,” Idriss coos, “are you feeling a little jealous over your bestest friend making other friends?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Eliott scoffs, knocking Idriss’s hand away where it had moved to pinch his cheek. Idriss persists.</p><p>“You know you’re my favourite little buddy in the whole wide world.” He says it in the exact same tone you’d tell a puppy they’d been a ‘very good boy, yes you have’.</p><p>“Stop it!” Eliott can’t help but laugh now as Idriss gets a grip on the back of his neck and drags him closer.</p><p>“I love you best. Yes, I do.”</p><p>“<em>Idriss</em>,” Eliott whines as Idriss pulls him close enough to lay a smacking kiss on his forehead, “people are watching!” Indeed, there are a number of staff members and visitors milling the halls who are glancing over at the display they’re making with some curiosity. Idriss of course couldn’t care less.</p><p>“Well then everyone is just gonna know how much I love my <em>special friend</em>, Dr. Demaury.” He says the last bit loudly enough to have an elderly woman walking with what appears to be her daughter, throw them a scandalized look just as Idriss lays a kiss directly on Eliott’s mouth.</p><p>Eliott shoves him away with a laugh, making a show of wiping off his mouth in disgust. “I really hate you. I hope you know that.”</p><p>Idriss shrugs, throwing a wink over Eliott’s shoulder (Eliott would put money on that wink being in the direction of the scandalized older lady). “As long as you’re there on Friday, you can hate me all you like.”</p><p>“Yeah, whatever,” Eliott huffs, “I’m leaving. I have work to do.”</p><p>“C’mon now,” Idriss chides with teasing glee, “not without a smile you’re not.”</p><p>“God, you’re such a dick.” But he’s smiling despite himself. Blessedly, Daphne chooses that moment to interrupt.</p><p>“Idriss, you’re still here? What the hell?! I’d appreciate not being the only one here doing my job.” She stands with her hands on her hips, managing to look imposing despite her bright pink scrubs patterned with kittens. Eliott quails at the sight of her annoyance, stepping back from Idriss slightly so as not to get caught in the crosshairs.</p><p>“Daphne,” Idriss begins, appearing unruffled in the face of her wrath, “who covered for you <em>twice</em> in the past week when Bas showed up, hm?”</p><p>Daphne looks immediately chastised by this but rallies quickly. “Whatever. Ms. Autry asked for you.”</p><p>“Uuugghhh,” Idriss groans as though in a great deal of pain. He hops down from the counter. “Couldn’t you have handled it? You know she just wants a chance to ogle my ass.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m weeping inside on your behalf. I wouldn’t know anything about being objectified when I’m just trying to do my job.” Daphne motions towards her very… well… significant chest. Eliott cringes a little even acknowledging that observation. But it’s the point Daphne’s trying to make, nevertheless. “But please, continue to tell me why it’s so hard for <em>you.</em>”</p><p>“I’m a big, black guy working as a nurse in a field dominated by women. You seriously think I have it easy?</p><p>“Are you really going all, ‘It’s hard out there for men,’ on me right now? For real?!”</p><p>Eliott slowly backs away from them. “I’m just gonna…”</p><p>“It really gotta be a competition with you, hunh, goldilocks? Who puts up with more bullshit?”</p><p>“Oh, it’s no competition, muscles.”</p><p>They’re not listening to Eliott anyways. He flees. It’s only as he gets far enough from them and their voices are antagonized hums in the distance, that Eliott sees Lucas. He’s leaning against the hallway wall, watching as Eliott approaches. He looks like he’s been waiting for a while. Eliott feels nerves bundle in his stomach at the thought. <em>Of course,</em> Lucas needed Eliott to come with him before returning to Mika. Mrs. Lemieux’s pre-op was a task assigned to <em>both </em>of them. Eliott hadn’t realized when Lucas left – he hadn’t been thinking. Whether Eliott was the one to complete it or not, Lucas returning without Eliott wasn’t an option. Not without Lucas admitting they had in fact not done what Mika asked.</p><p>There’s an apology on the tip of Eliott’s tongue. It’s the last thing he wants to do but there is no doubt he has held Lucas up – first in taking longer with Mrs. Lemieux than Lucas ever would have and then taking time to chat with Idriss. Eliott can’t help but recall Lucas’s words. <em>I’m trying to do my job</em>, he said. <em>Quickly, efficiently… so I can do more. </em>Eliott hates to admit it but he feels distinctly guilty for impeding Lucas in working the way he wants to work. <em>I don’t need to do it like you to do it well.</em></p><p>Just this once Eliott will suck it up and apologize. Extend, at the very least, a <em>professional</em> olive branch. Lucas would likely never do the same but Eliott can be the bigger person. They are coworkers, they have shared friends, they’re going to be socializing in the same places… there is every reason to make an effort. And maybe that’s what Lucas had been doing when he’d let Eliott handle things with Claudine. Maybe he was making an effort in his own pig-headed way.</p><p>Buoyed with confidence in his newfound outlook, Eliott stands a little taller as he comes to stop in front of Lucas, ensuring his face is, if not friendly, at the very least, neutral.</p><p>“Lucas, I didn’t realize –”</p><p>“That I couldn’t do shit without you?” Lucas interrupts. “Yeah. Funny that. Get saddled with your ass and I’m robbed an hour from my day when I could have been getting shit done. All to watch you fucking makeout with Idriss –”</p><p>“Makeout? What the –”</p><p>“And you seriously call <em>me</em> out for being unprofessional? Listen, next time you need a moment to flirt or whatever the fuck, just make sure it’s not on my time, yeah? Now c’mon. I’d actually like to accomplish something other than watch you flit around waiting to be told how pretty you are.” He turns and strides purposefully away. Eliott stares at him, mouth hanging open in disbelief.</p><p>It’s been two months since Eliott began his surgical residency alongside Lucas Lallemant, and two months and one day since they met. Eliott has never been more certain. It’s been two months and one day too long.</p><p>* * * * </p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>2 Months + 1 Day Ago</strong>
</p><p> </p><p>“The same hospital!” Idriss crows, pushing off Eliott’s shoulders as he bounces around him on their way to the bar. “I thought the day would never come.”</p><p>“I’m glad you’re excited,” Eliott huffs, rubbing a hand against his stomach. “I feel like I’m going to puke.”</p><p>“That’s flattering.”</p><p>“From nerves,” Eliott laughs. “I’m really fucking glad you’re going to be there.”</p><p>“Your first shift is gonna be chaos,” Idriss admits. “But yeah, I’ll be there. And I’ll make sure to take a mental snapshot of all the dumb shit you do.”</p><p>“Thanks for the vote of confidence.”</p><p>“It’s an intern’s right of passage. You gotta fuck up.”</p><p>“I really, really don’t,” Eliott says, finding he’s suddenly feeling nauseous again. “You fuck up in a hospital, someone’s life is at stake.”</p><p>“Yo,” Idriss’s arm is suddenly wrapping around his shoulders and he pulls Eliott towards him, “I didn’t mean to freak you out. Chill. You’re just an intern, alright? They’re only going to make you feel like you’re responsible for shit. Really, everyone is gonna see you as a big lumbering baby – barely able to take care of themselves, never mind anyone else.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, shoving at Idriss’s side though his friend refuses to loosen his hold around Eliott’s shoulders. “How is that supposed to make me feel better? You just told me I’m useless.”</p><p>“But cute.” Idriss reaches to poke at Eliott’s cheek. “Babies are cute.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Eliott scoffs, but wraps an arm around Idriss’s back as they approach the bar.</p><p>“Tonight’s a night to celebrate though!” Idriss enthuses with a burst of his previous energy. He squeezes a hand at the back of Eliott’s neck. “We’re gonna get this baby drunk and laid – wait.” He scrunches his face in disgust as Eliott laughs. “That sounded so fucking wrong. You know what I mean.”</p><p>“I’m not getting drunk or – well, I wouldn’t say no to getting laid,” Eliott admits. He’d been so busy and stressed lately, all other areas of his life have been a little lacking. Needless to say… it’s been a while.</p><p>“Fuck yeah. That’s the spirit!”</p><p>
  <em>“Eliott! Idriss!” </em>
</p><p>Eliott glances up to see Sofiane waving at them from the bar entrance. They’d specifically chosen the bar closest to the hospital – the chosen haunt of most hospital staff. A sort of initiation into Eliott’s new life. Sofiane stands with a group of people Eliott doesn’t recognize.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott greets, releasing Idriss to slap Sofiane’s hand and pull him in for a quick hug.</p><p>“Imane’s not here yet?” Idriss asks, glancing around them.</p><p>“On her way,” Sofiane confirms. “Took a lot of convincing. She was pretty resistant to the idea of going to the bar the night before your first shift.” He grins looking to Eliott. “Told her she needed to come calm down your dumbass.”</p><p>“I’m totally calm,” Eliott scoffs as Idriss and Sofiane laugh. He turns his attention to the people surrounding them, speaking quietly amongst themselves.</p><p>“Oh!” Sofiane jumps in. “Sorry, I meant to say – these guys are starting at the hospital tomorrow too. Or well, not all of them. But, um…”</p><p>A boy standing slightly across from Sofiane speaks. “I am. Yann.” He raises a hand in slight greeting. “Surgical intern. Emma too.” He moves a hand to ruffle the hair of a girl who must be Emma beside him.</p><p>“Excuse me,” she cries, knocking his hand away. “Don’t mess with the do, Cazas.”</p><p>Yann laughs, turning his attention back to Eliott. “Anyways, yeah, there’s us and –” He swings a hand out in Sofiane’s direction. A boy steps out from behind Sofiane, and Eliott feels his heart stutter in his chest before beating double-time. He looks at Eliott, eyes wide and curious but there’s reservation swimming in the depths of blue looking back. His lips are parted, a generous swell to his lower lip. A number of strands of hair have fallen down across his forehead. Eliott traces their path back to the rest of the boy’s unruly light brown hair swept away from his face.</p><p>“Lucas.”</p><p>There’s an extended moment of silence wherein Eliott does no more than stare open-mouthed. It’s a slight quirk of Lucas’s eyebrow that jolts Eliott into awareness.</p><p>“Eliott. I’m Eliott.”</p><p>“You’re surgery too?” It’s Idriss asking the question Eliott would have if it weren’t for the fact that he seems to be temporarily struck dumb by Lucas’s face.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flick to Idriss. He nods before returning his gaze to once more catch Eliott’s. “That’s right.”</p><p>“I am. Too. I am too.” Fuck. Apparently basic language skills have deserted Eliott entirely now.</p><p>Idriss laughs at his side, arm falling across Eliott’s shoulder. “Yeah, I think they got that, dumbass.” He directs his next comments at Lucas. “Ignore the fact that he’s gone catatonic. He’s nervous about tomorrow. I’m Idriss. I work at the hospital too.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth is quirked slightly in a smile. He pulls his eyes from Eliott with some difficultly to look at Idriss. Though maybe Eliott only sees it that way because he’s having trouble imagining looking away from Lucas.</p><p>“Oh yeah? You’re surgery too then?”</p><p>Eliott can feel Idriss’s immediately stiffen and finds himself tensing in solidarity.</p><p>“No.” Idriss’s voice is carefully controlled. Eliott and Sofiane are likely the only one’s who can pick up on the steely resolve beneath it, as though he’s preparing himself for a fight. “I’m a nurse.”</p><p>Eliott watches Lucas’s face anxiously. Unable to tear his eyes away long enough to even gauge the reaction of the other future interns – Yann and Emma.</p><p>“In other words,” Lucas says with a flick of his eyebrow, “you’re gonna be the only one who knows what the fuck he’s doing tomorrow.”</p><p>Idriss laughs, his body relaxing into where he’s draped across Eliott’s shoulders. Eliott lets his muscles release too, his relief perhaps a little out of proportion when considered relative to how little he knows Lucas.</p><p>“Not just tomorrow,” Idriss chuckles. “You doctors just like to think you know what the fuck you’re doing. It’s us nurses bailing your asses out left and right.”</p><p>Lucas laughs and a rush of warmth to Eliott’s extremities accompanies the sound. “That I believe. I suppose it’ll be nice to know someone in the hospital. Aside from the grunts I mean.” He swings a hand out to slap the other boy, Yann, in the stomach.</p><p>“Fuck off,” Yann laughs, pushing his hand away. “Like you’re gonna give me the time of day anyways, hotshot. You’ll forget I exist the moment we get in those doors.”</p><p>“Hotshot?” Sofiane asks.</p><p>“That’s right,” Yann grins, moving a hand to grip Lucas’s shoulder. “My boy is the best of the best.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, shrugging his hand off. His eyes move back to Eliott’s. “Not anymore. It’s Demaury, right?”</p><p>A tremor of surprise runs through Eliott’s body. “Uh… yeah. How did you…”</p><p>“Word gets around,” Lucas answers the unfinished question. “They say you’re the best.”</p><p>“Oh shit, that’s right,” Yann adds in.</p><p>“Hold up,” Emma chips in, now distracted from the conversation she’d been having with someone else to her side. “This is the guy? Well, damn.” She’s appraising him in an entirely different way now.</p><p>Eliott does his best not to blush under the scrutiny. He shrugs in what he feels is an appropriately self-deprecating manner. “I didn’t know I had a reputation.”</p><p>“You didn’t?” Lucas doesn’t look at all convinced.</p><p>Eliott let’s his mouth pull up slightly at one side. “I was trying to be humble.”</p><p>Idriss snorts at his side, dropping his arm from Eliott’s body. “Humble my ass,” he snickers.</p><p>“Well, you shouldn’t be,” Lucas continues. “No place for modesty in surgery.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, not entirely sure how to respond to that and finding his mind empty of any clever rejoinders.</p><p>“How’d you know about Eliott’s reputation anyways?” There’s no accusation in Sofiane’s tone as he asks, mere curiosity.</p><p>“‘Cause our boy’s the best, too,” Emma responds, throwing an arm around Yann as she reaches to poke a finger to Lucas’s cheek. Lucas slaps her away, rolling his eyes but he doesn’t disagree.</p><p>“Just keeping track of the competition,” Lucas shrugs as he answers.</p><p>“Does it need to be a competition?” Eliott asks, thankful for his renewed ability to form proper sentences. “You’d think we’d do better as partners.” It sounds far more forward than he meant it. The way Idriss chokes on laughter at his side seems to confirm that fact.</p><p>Amusement colours Lucas’s face before he tamps it down, but a crooked smile remains. “That’s how you got to be the best?”</p><p>Eliott shoves his hands into his pockets, pulling his shoulders to his ears as he rocks slightly on his feet. It’s a nervous tell but he can’t help himself. He feels knocked entirely off-kilter. Rattled in a way that has his heart racing and thoughts coming sluggish and fragmented.</p><p>“Apparently.”</p><p>“Hm.” Lucas tilts his head slightly in consideration. “Guess I’m just pissed my reputation didn’t proceed me.”</p><p>“Eli refuses to pay attention to that stuff,” Sofiane explains.</p><p>“No?” Lucas raises his eyebrows in slight inquiry.</p><p>“Trust me the only way he’s gonna know any of the shit that goes on in the hospital is down to me,” Idriss adds.</p><p>“More about impressions on sight,” Eliott admits.</p><p>Lucas hums. There’s a look Eliott can’t quite pin down on his face. It’s neither contempt nor curiosity. “And? What about me? Have I made a good impression?” He asks.</p><p>Their friends have gone oddly silent around them. Either that or the roaring blood in Eliott’s ears is drowning out all other sound. Somehow, he knows responding in any falsely kind fashion will not be met with equal favour.</p><p>“I haven’t decided yet.”</p><p>A twitch at the corner of Lucas’s mouth tells Eliott it was the right answer.</p><p>“Alright, well,” Yann’s hand is suddenly slapping against Lucas’s chest as he turns towards the bar, “Bas texted. He and Arthur are already in there.”</p><p>Lucas’s face scrunches, his eyes leaving Eliott’s as he looks to Yann. “What? He fucking whined for us to wait for him outside.”</p><p>“Yeah…” Yann merely shrugs, shoving Emma ahead of him as they move towards the bar.</p><p>“Hold up. Bas?” Idriss calls after Yann, jogging to catch up. “Daphne’s Bas?”</p><p>“Yeah how did you… oh shit, right, the hospital.”</p><p>Eliott tunes their voices out, his mind racing with thoughts he can’t quite capture. They flicker through his mind in bursts of light and shadow, ephemeral and fleeting. He stares at the spot Lucas had stood mere seconds prior.</p><p>“<em>Yo!” </em></p><p>Eliott startles at the sound of Idriss’s voice, turning to see him standing next to the door into the bar.</p><p>“You coming or what?” Idriss calls. There’s a piercing look on his face, as though he already knows too much.</p><p>Eliott avoids his eyes, directing his own to the slight view of the bar he can make out as he walks towards the door. Just as he moves to pass however, Idriss grabs his arm.</p><p>Eliott exhales heavily, reluctantly turning to look at Idriss. “What?”  </p><p>“It’s not a good idea.”</p><p>That’s rich coming from Idriss. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”</p><p>Idriss laughs but there’s little humour in it. “That boy is like your walking wet dream. Don’t even try to deny it.” Eliott doesn’t. “I’m just saying. You’re gonna be working together, man. You know what I say about hooking up with people from work.”</p><p>“That’s because you <em>have</em> hooked up with people from work.”</p><p>“Exactly. Learn from my mistakes.”</p><p>“You know if Ingrid heard you refer to her as a mistake, she’d slap you in the middle of the workday, <em>in the middle of the hospital, </em>all over again.”</p><p> “We really need to do this trip down memory lane?”</p><p>“You absolutely brought this on yourself.”</p><p>Idriss chuckles, pressing a hand to his forehead as he shakes his head. “Alright, you punk. I’m done.”</p><p>“Nothing has happened anyways.” Eliott turns his head slightly to look into the bar where he can see Sofiane and Lucas’s friends have pulled two tables together and made themselves comfortable. “He might not even be into guys.”</p><p>“Right.” Idriss doesn’t sound at all convinced. “Whatever. I said my piece. Let’s go.” Eliott gladly lets the topic drop, following Idriss as they make their way to the shared tables.</p><p>Idriss grabs a chair and Eliott takes the seat next to him, directly across from Lucas. Lucas appears to be deep into a conversation with the girl – Emma, sitting next to him, but there’s a tell-tale flicker of his eyes in Eliott’s direction.</p><p>
  <em>“Holy shit!” </em>
</p><p>Eliott turns his attention to the sound of the voice. It’s the curly haired boy across the table and he’s staring right at Eliott.</p><p>“Errrr…” Eliott shifts uncomfortably as the boy continues to stare at him, mouth agape.</p><p>Lucas suddenly thumps the boy on his shoulder. “Jesus, Bas.” It’s enough to startle the boy – Bas – out of his trance-like state.</p><p>“Ow! Sorry, sorry!” Bas cries, rubbing his shoulder as he throws a glare Lucas’s way before turning his attention to Eliott. “But he’s – you’re really good looking. Do you know you’re good looking? You probably do. You’re fucking hot, bro. Are you a model?”</p><p>Eliott laughs, feeling blood rush to his cheeks while Lucas groans, “<em>Fucking hell,</em>” at Bas’s side.</p><p>“He did model, actually,” Idriss chips in with a laugh. Eliott rounds on him in horror.</p><p>“Idriss –” Eliott hisses in warning, shooting a pointed look in Lucas’s direction where the boy is now looking at Idriss a little too attentively.</p><p>It’s of no use and Idriss continues with glee. “You remember that ad you did for the healthlink? <em>The danger of STDs?</em>” He laughs. “Fuck, you were the face of chlamydia for like three months. Fucking fantastic time in my life that was.”</p><p>“Remember how you got a copy of the ad and plastered it all over our place?” Sofiane adds from Eliott’s other side. That’s all Eliott needs. Both of his asshole best friends ganging up on him in front of not only a future colleague but, well… someone he would rather had only a good impression of him.</p><p>Eliott pouts as Lucas and Bas join in laughing. That wasn’t even an ad campaign he was particularly ashamed of. Sure, it wasn’t great being the face of chlamydia on ads around the city, but it was a successful campaign and the cause had been a good one. If Idriss mentions the underwear ads on the other hand… well… all Eliott knows is that if one should look for them hard enough, there just may be images still circulating on the net of him in a lace thong… and Eliott will actually smother Idriss before letting that particular detail from his past slip.</p><p>“So, you were a model?” It’s Lucas asking. Eliott turns to him quickly with cheeks burning. Lucas smiles but it’s not unkind. “Was this before or after med school?”</p><p>“Uh, during, actually,” Eliott begins. “It wasn’t a big deal. He’s making it seem like – I really only had a few small campaigns I worked on.”</p><p>“I knew it!” Bas crows. “Guy like you is way too fucking hot not to be a model.”</p><p>“Keep it in your pants, Bas,” Lucas teases, swiftly smacking Bas at the back of the head.</p><p>“Like you don’t think it too. I was just –”</p><p>Lucas ignores him, directing a question at Eliott. “Why bother? Trying to hold down something like that and med school? Couldn’t’ve been easy.”</p><p>“Yeah, uh, it wasn’t.” He pauses for a moment as he decides how best to explain and it’s all the opening Idriss needs. Eliott is suddenly regretting suggesting pre-drinks – which Idriss had thoroughly partaken in – before leaving for the bar.</p><p>“This punk,” Idriss laughs, throwing an arm around Eliott, “got it in his head he needed to pay his own way.”</p><p>Lucas’s brows immediately furrow, his smile dropping as he looks between Idriss and Eliott. “There’s nothing wrong with paying your own way. No matter how it’s done. That’s admirable.”</p><p>Eliott smiles softly in Lucas’s direction, bolstered by the defense.</p><p>“That’s really not why Idri’s giving him a hard time,” Sofiane says, before Idriss speaks over him.</p><p>“Nothing wrong with it except Eli’s parents are fucking loaded and pay for everything.”</p><p>“Idriss! What the fuck?!” Eliott latches a hand to his bicep as he stands, dragging Idriss up with him. “We’re going to go get some drinks.”</p><p>He doesn’t look at Idriss until they reach the bar. Even then it takes him a moment. He inhales an angry breath before turning, clenching his teeth together.</p><p>“What? Don’t fucking look at me like that,” Idriss scoffs, only drawing even more of Eliott’s ire.</p><p>“What is your problem? Did you have to say that?”</p><p>“Say what? It’s true.”</p><p>“You were trying to humiliate me.”</p><p>Idriss sighs, looking slightly apologetic now. “I wasn’t. Really. I was just razzing you.”</p><p>“Yeah, right,” Eliott replies, not one cell of his body convinced of that. “You were trying to sabotage me.”</p><p>“Sabotage?” Idriss’s eyebrows rise in disbelief. “So, you <em>are</em> trying to get with him then.”</p><p>“No!” He responded far too quickly and far too adamantly for it to have been believable at all. “No. But he’s still a colleague.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Idriss’s look screams, <em>my point exactly</em>. “And your competition, Eli.”</p><p>“<em>Competition</em>,” Eliott repeats, scrunching his face as though he’s caught taste of something truly foul. “You know I don’t look at it like that.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, maybe you should. Especially if he’s going to.”</p><p>
  <em>“Hey, mind if I join you?” </em>
</p><p>Eliott swings his body around to face Lucas who has approached them from behind. He stands with his hands in his back pockets, his long-sleeved shirt stretching slightly over his chest. The colour is a vibrant blue. It makes the blue of his eyes stand out in a way that doesn’t even seem real, as though he’s the product of the overactive imagination of a particularly verbose romance novelist. <em>His eyes were of greater depth than the floor of the ocean, bluer than the most brilliant shades of sapphire, more beautiful than priceless crown jewels.</em></p><p>Jesus. <em>Shut the fuck up, Eliott. </em></p><p>“Sure,” Idriss replies for them both, gesturing for Lucas to take his place. “Eliott’ll grab me a beer. I’ll be back at the table.” He gives Eliott one last look, resigned and unamused, before leaving.</p><p>Lucas presses his forearms against the bar as he replaces Idriss. His body faces forward but he turns his face to Eliott. He doesn’t say anything and Eliott finds himself speaking before considering what it is he will say.</p><p>“Sorry about what Idri – I mean, don’t take him that seriously. What he said –”</p><p>“Why?” Lucas interrupts. “Was it untrue?”</p><p>“Uh… no,” Eliott admits. “It’s just not like – it’s not really something I broadcast like that.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas nods, turning away from Eliott to flag down the bartender as he continues, “Living off handouts doesn’t really fly in circles with people working for everything they get, hunh?”</p><p>The comment burns against Eliott’s skin. It’s not pleasant.</p><p>“I don’t –”</p><p><em>“What can I get you?” </em>The bartender interrupts. Eliott is startled to see him suddenly standing before them. He hadn’t noticed his approach.</p><p>They order their drinks and the bartender’s eyes linger on Eliott. He smiles as he hands over the beers Eliott had ordered for himself and Idriss, finger grazing the back of Eliott’s hand. In all honestly, he is attractive. His dark hair shines in a perfectly unkept wave swept back from his face, his eyes deep brown and shining with interest, dimples deep on his face as he smiles. Eliott returns his smile, turning his attention back to Lucas only when the bartender is called away.</p><p>“You should go for it,” Lucas says the moment Eliott’s eyes land back on him.</p><p>“Sorry?”</p><p>Lucas tips his head in the direction of the bartender. “He wasn’t exactly subtle.”</p><p>“Oh.” Is Lucas uncomfortable with the thought? He doesn’t seem it but Eliott can’t identify the tone of his voice. There’s a clench to his jaw as he falls silent, however. It speaks to either anger or… something else. “I don’t know, I…” Eliott trails off, feeling a little uncertain as to how to handle the moment at hand.</p><p>“I would.” Lucas shrugs, eyes falling on Eliott before moving away again, staring forward as he sips on his mixed drink. “If he’d been into me. I would go for it.”</p><p>Well that answers Eliott’s question as to whether Lucas likes men. The information is a lot less pleasant discovered in this context. He frowns.</p><p>“Be my guest.”</p><p>Lucas’s face swings to him. “Sorry?”</p><p>Eliott shifts on his feet uncomfortably, tracing a finger against the sweating beer bottle in his hand. There’s a feeling he can’t quite trace, sitting heavily in his stomach. His voice comes out colder and more dismissive than he intended. “It’s fine. You can have him.”</p><p>Lucas breathes a noise that resembles a laugh, but his obvious irritation dispels such a thought. “Wow. How generous.”</p><p>“Sorry,” Eliott quickly offers, feeling very wrong-footed. It feels a little as though an intended trip to the mountains has landed him in a field of landmines instead. He’s not sure what turn in the road set things off in this direction but he’s struggling to find his way back. “I didn’t mean that like –”</p><p>“Like you were offering your cast-offs?” Lucas finishes for him.</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott admits, consciously gentling his tone. He looks at Lucas’s profile, silently imploring him to meet his eyes. When he does, Eliott continues, “I just meant I wasn’t interested in him. And if you are – you should go for it.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a moment, looking as though he’s trying to figure Eliott out, but his analysis is coming up short. He huffs but there’s a slight upward tilt to his mouth as he turns away, eyes dropping to his drink. “Thanks, but he’s not really my type.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Fucking hot isn’t your type?”</p><p>Lucas turns back to him and he’s sporting a clear smile now. Eliott finds himself grinning in response. “Nah,” Lucas denies, smile growing at the sight of Eliott’s. “Fucking hot is unfortunately exactly my type.” His eyes linger and Eliott feels his face heat at the attention. A pleasant burn this time. Lucas looks away. “Guys who don’t want me aren’t my type.”</p><p>“Hard to imagine that.”</p><p>Lucas turns back to him, a tilt to his eyebrow. “That I wouldn’t want guys who don’t want me?”</p><p>“That a guy wouldn’t want you.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth parts in surprise. Eliott is just able to make out a slight staining of Lucas’s cheeks before he turns away. “Not everyone’s gay.”</p><p>“Pity.”</p><p>Lucas barks a laugh, stamping it down quickly as though he’d never meant to let it escape. “I’ll say.”</p><p>“But for the record,” Eliott adds. “I know. I’m pan.”</p><p>Lucas’s gaze moves back to him. He nods before turning around and resting his back to the bar. “We should get back. Your friend’s not going to be impressed by you bringing him lukewarm beer.” He raises an eyebrow, eyes moving pointedly to the beers in Eliott’s hands.</p><p>“My friend is a dick. He’ll deal with it.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. “Yeah I know the feeling.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Sitting across from Lucas is excruciating in the best possible way. He doesn’t particularly look at Eliott. Concentrating on conversations with his own friends, he only seems to catch Eliott’s eye involuntarily. As though he can’t help it. As though he can feel Eliott’s eyes on him. Eliott can barely tear them away. Drunk off waiting for that split-second Lucas’s eyes will meet his, anticipation lights the space between them, raising goosebumps across Eliott’s skin.</p><p>It’s not a good idea. He knows it’s not a good idea. Idriss isn’t wrong. Meshing work and pleasure… in any way beyond platonic, is a recipe for disaster. Somehow this logic – this <em>warning</em> screaming in Eliott’s ear (sounding a lot like Idriss’s voice for that matter) – is immediately muted the moment Eliott’s eyes inevitably find Lucas again. Everything else – everything he <em>knows</em> he shouldn’t do… it all seems so incredibly unimportant compared to that slight tint of colour sitting high on Lucas’s cheeks. Eliott wants him. He wants him in a way that leaves him restless, shifting in his seat, fingers expanding and contracting on the table with an ache he can’t quite quell… not yet, not until he has a chance to touch Lucas. To put his hands on him, to brush the tips of his fingers down Lucas’s neck, to place a kiss just <em>there,</em> where Lucas’s Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.</p><p>It takes Eliott a moment, eyes fixated on the soft, delicate skin of Lucas’s neck to realize the other boy’s eyes have locked on him too. Lucas doesn’t drop his gaze when Eliott’s eyes meet his own. He stares, expression unreadable, the blue of his eyes darkened by his dilated pupil. His eyebrows pull together, a downward tilt to his lips. Eliott lets his eyes linger there, on the swell of Lucas’s lower lip, the way it shines when Lucas darts his tongue out to wet it.</p><p>There’s a crash and suddenly liquid is seeping across the table. Lucas jumps just as some of it spills over into his lap. He quickly stands, directing his outrage in his friend’s direction.</p><p>“What the fuck, Bas?!”</p><p>“Sorry! Sorry!” Bas cries from Lucas’s side, launching forward with a napkin but somehow only serving to spread the spill further.</p><p>Lucas grabs his own napkin only to drop it after realizing it’s saturated with Bas’s drink. Bas reaches forward to pat at the obvious stain spread across Lucas’s crotch. Lucas knocks his hand away.</p><p>“Get off me. Jesus.” He exhales in clear irritation.</p><p>“Here,” Yann offers a few collected napkins from further down the table.</p><p>“Nah.” Lucas waves a hand to indicate he doesn’t need them. “I’m just gonna go wash up. See if I can dry out, at least so I don’t look like I pissed myself.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Bas offers again, sounding pained and truly remorseful.</p><p>“It’s fine, Bas,” Lucas sighs. “It was an accident.” His eyes catch briefly on Eliott. Only a split second but it’s enough. “I’ll be back in a minute.”</p><p>Eliott waits maybe thirty seconds following Lucas’s departure from the table before he stands.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Idriss asks immediately though he absolutely knows the answer.</p><p>“To help Lucas,” Eliott responds, keeping his voice quiet though the rest of the table seems preoccupied with their own conversation or assisting Bas.</p><p>“You’re gonna help him dry out his pants?” Idriss scoffs, disbelief clear. “What are you gonna do? Get on your knees and blow?” The implication is clear, and Idriss doesn’t bother to mask it. Eliott doesn’t respond, flicking his eyes down to where Idriss’s hand still grips his arm until, with an aggrieved sigh, Idriss releases him.</p><p>Eliott hurries to the back bathrooms with no particular plan in mind. Lucas is there. That’s what he knows. Lucas is there and something is telling Eliott to go, to throw all rational thought to the wind and give in to his gut instincts. It’s something he rarely does. A luxury of choice most people wouldn’t think twice about. ‘Go with your gut,’ everyone encourages. Rely on your instincts. Trust yourself. Even Eliott’s own therapist has said the same. “<em>You need to trust yourself, Eliott,”</em> she’ll say. <em>“You are not your mental illness. Stop treating your brain as the enemy.” </em>Right. Easier said than done when your brain betrays you and wracks up so much debt on your credit card within a twenty-four hour period, you take jobs posing for STD ads instead of dealing with the shame of explaining the situation to your parents. Not even Idriss knows the specifics of that one. Eliott honestly prefers being the focus of mockery courtesy of his best friend than a subject of pity.</p><p>It’s different tonight. It feels right. He feels sure. Like for once – in what is truly a rare occasion – he and his brain are in agreement that his instincts can be trusted. His heartbeat pounds in his ears as he approaches the bathroom door and his breath is coming far quicker than the short trek across the bar should have demanded. When he swings open the door and enters the bathroom it’s not to the sight of Lucas as he was expecting. It’s not to the sight of anyone. A voice from behind him however changes that.</p><p>“Hi?” There’s a definite question mark at the end of Lucas’s sentence, and when Eliott turns to face him, standing in front of the sinks, there’s a curious quirk to his eyebrow.</p><p>“Hey.” His eyes drop to Lucas’s pants. Not like <em>that</em>. It’s a totally reasonable thing to do. That’s where the spill was. It’s logical. “Not making a lot of progress?” He asks, pointing towards the paper towel Lucas holds very ineffectively attempting to dry his pants.</p><p>Lucas breathes around a laugh caught between humour and genuine annoyance. “Can’t exactly reach the dryer,” he points at the hand dryer set far higher than crotch-level, “without taking off my pants, can I?”</p><p>“So, take off your pants.” Eliott’s life flashes briefly before his eyes as the words escape. But then they’re there, spread naked before him. He’s not sure he regrets them either.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, a slightly hysterical laugh escaping him.</p><p>Eliott swallows, trying desperately not to give away just how quickly his heart is beating in his chest. He sends a prayer to the heavens that he’s coming across charming rather than creepy. “It’s just us in here, right?” He glances back towards the stalls, but it does indeed seem they’re alone. “Why not?”</p><p>“Why are you here?” Lucas asks bluntly.</p><p>“I came to help.” Eliott can’t help but smile a little at the sheer skepticism on Lucas’s face.</p><p>“You thought I – <em>future surgeon</em> – needed your help drying off my pants?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, shoving hands into his pockets and letting his smile grow. He moves towards Lucas, stopping when they’re separated by only the length of his arm. He could touch if he wanted. He won’t. Not unless invited to, but… he could. They’re close enough.</p><p>“Is this a skill they taught in med school? I must have missed it.” He tilts his head, eyes dropping to Lucas’s pants – this time, like <em>that</em> – before letting them drag back up. Slowly.</p><p>“If you missed that lesson, how are you gonna help me?” Lucas doesn’t look especially rattled by Eliott’s thorough appraisal, gamely playing along.</p><p>“I don’t know.” Eliott grins, knowing the cheeky quality of his tone is spread across his face as well.  “I feel like I might have a natural talent for it.”</p><p>“Are we still talking about dealing with drink spills?”</p><p>“Were we ever?”</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas exhales quick laugh, dragging a hand up through his hair. “You’re pretty smooth, hunh?”</p><p>Eliott’s really not. That Lucas thinks he is, however, can only be a good thing. He scrunches his shoulders in a shrug. “So?”</p><p>“So?” Lucas repeats, one eyebrow quirked in challenge.</p><p>“Can I help?” The implication seems clear enough and he’s sure he’s not reading this situation wrong. There’s desire sitting thick and viscous between them… spreading. It seeps into Eliott’s every bone. His every extremity. He’s sure Lucas feels it too. Eliott’s fingers twitch with the need to touch.</p><p>Lucas’s mouth is slightly parted and there’s something impossible to read about his face. There’s a very obvious and effective shield he seems to have placed between them. A defense Eliott is willing to bet Lucas carries with him at all times. Eliott can relate. But there’s no need for it here. This isn’t a marriage proposal and Eliott isn’t entirely sure what to make of Lucas’s extreme reservation, especially when paired with the mutual desire pulsing between them like a quickened heartbeat.</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>Eliott’s brows scrunch in confusion. “Wha–”</p><p>“Why’d you follow me in here?”</p><p>“Uh… I thought I made that clear.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, rolling his eyes quickly. “Yeah but why <em>me</em>?”</p><p>This is not at all how Eliott imagined this going. The certainty driving him feels as though it’s suddenly cornering precariously around a cliff’s edge, only inches from slamming into a guard rail. He’s desperate to recapture a lighter tone to the conversation – a tone more fit to a hormone driven hookup.</p><p>Eliott smiles a little. “If it’s compliments you’re looking for here –”</p><p>“You think just because I’m gay, I’m available to you?”</p><p>Eliott’s jaw drops with his surprise. Lucas doesn’t look particularly angry. He’s asked the question as though… as though he’s really wondering.</p><p>“Of course not.” There’s anger in Eliott’s tone and he doesn’t attempt to dampen it. The accusation <em>does</em> make him angry. “I don’t think anyone is <em>available</em> to me.”</p><p>“Right. I’m sure you get turned down all the time.” The words are dripping with sarcasm.</p><p>In truth, Eliott <em>doesn’t </em>get turned down often. Or ever. But then… he’s not often the one to make a first move. Fat-lotta-good taking the initiative has done him this time. And besides, he doesn’t see why it’s something he should apologize for. </p><p>“You know there are other ways to reject a guy. ‘No’ is an option.” He tries to project ease. In truth he’s more than a little annoyed now. He doesn’t know what he did to deserve the ire he’s currently facing. Did he imagine the previous mood entirely? Was it wholly one-sided? It certainly wouldn’t be the first time Eliott’s instincts have betrayed him. He just thought… it was different. This time. It <em>felt</em> different.</p><p>The tense set of Lucas’s shoulders droops slightly. His expression opens – just a minuscule change – but it’s there. Eliott brightens a little at the sight.</p><p>“Listen,” Lucas sighs, eyes dropping, “I’m–” He stops himself but an apology rests in the air. His gaze returns to Eliott. He smiles a little. It reads as false but Eliott appreciates the effort. “It’s not a good idea.” Well… he’s not wrong. Eliott just hadn’t expected him to be the one pointing that out. “We’re going to be working together.” Eliott nods, stepping back from Lucas as he continues. “We just need to be clear about –” He seems to fumble for the right words. “We’re both supposed to be the best, yeah? I want it to be clear why I got where I did. I don’t take handouts.” It feels like a pointed comment and Eliott suddenly recalls their previous conversation at the bar when Lucas had accused him of taking handouts from <em>rich parents</em>. Eliott frowns. “I’m just saying, we’re going to be colleagues. Professionals. It’s not a good idea to mix – other shit – with that.” Anxiety is suddenly clear in Lucas’s gaze, as though just for a moment, he’s dropped his shield entirely and chosen unguarded honesty instead. It disarms Eliott immediately. The last thing he wants to do is make Lucas feel uncomfortable about rejecting him, most especially when rejecting him for a good reason. And he’s right. Of course, he’s right.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott nods with a resigned sigh, “I know.” He smiles wryly. “Maybe not my best move.”</p><p>“Nah,” Lucas dismisses, smiling a little now too. “Your moves were fine.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “That was nothing. Didn’t even get a chance to help you with your pants.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. Eliott wishes it wasn’t so attractive. “Yeah, I’m sure you would have been all kinds of help.”</p><p>Eliott welcomes the return of levity to the conversation. He hadn’t realized he’d tightened his hands into fists in his pockets. He lets them relax, pulling them out to instead fall at his sides. “You’d be surprised. I had all sorts of ideas.” He’s definitely flirting. He shouldn’t. But then, so is Lucas. And it’s harmless now… now that they’ve both agreed it’s going nowhere.</p><p>“Yeah?” Lucas chuckles. “You had an idea that would beat paper towels?” He gestures at the ineffective stack resting on the counter.</p><p>“Idriss suggested I get on my knees and blow.”</p><p>Lucas immediately chokes on laughter, coughing as he hits a hand against his chest. His face has beautifully flushed with colour. “<em>Fuck.</em>”</p><p>Eliott bites his lip, pulling it into his mouth as he tries to control the spread of his smile. “What? Sounded like a great plan to me.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes are wide, his mouth slightly parted, and Eliott would like to believe there’s awe mixed with the amusement on his face. “You’re something else. Probably just have to glance across a bar and you have people tripping over themselves, hunh?” There is no way Eliott can admit there’s some truth to that statement without sounding like an egotistical scumbag. He stays silent. “What a life.” There’s an edge to Lucas’s voice now. Before Eliott can question it however the door swings open behind him. The man who walks in pauses slightly at the sight of Lucas and Eliott looking back, before he continues to the urinals.</p><p>“C’mon,” Lucas suggests, moving towards the door. “Not improving on this situation any more than this.”</p><p>Eliott hopes he means his pants.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>To Eliott’s relief, things aren’t awkward when he and Lucas settle back into conversation with everyone else, now standing spread amongst a number of tall, circular tables near the dance floor. And all it takes is a slight shake of his head in subtle communication regarding what <em>didn’t </em>happen for Idriss to return to an argument he’s started with the other boy, Arthur. From what Eliott parcels out of the nearly indecipherable way they are speaking, it has something to do with pitting Batman against Iron Man but only where wealth is concerned. As they’re arguing across the length of two tables, it’s inevitable that everyone else is drawn into the conversation.</p><p>Eliott stands back happily. He’s only on his second beer but alcohol always hits him harder thanks to his medication. At the moment, he’s enjoying a happy buzz, not drunk, just… relaxed. And happy. He starts at the hospital tomorrow. His dream job. And he’s with his friends and some of his future colleagues. Everyone is getting along and Eliott likes them all. Yann and Emma were particularly entertaining. From what Eliott has been able to gather, they used to date. Despite that history however, their dynamic is far more reminiscent of sibling rivalry than romantic baggage. Yann, Emma, and Lucas are roommates as well. There’s a clearly loving dynamic between all three… mixed with a healthy dose of not putting up with one another’s shit. Eliott can relate.</p><p>“Yeah but Tony Stark lives in the real world, Bruce Wayne lives in a totally fictional city,” Sofiane contributes to the argument and Eliott turns to look at him as he sips at his beer.</p><p>“Real world?” Imane laughs. She’s arrived only about fifteen minutes ago, about the time Yann had left, but she’d happily inserted herself into the argument taking place, resting against Sofiane’s side. “How is the world Tony Stark lives in at all the world we live in, love?”</p><p>“No, no, no,” Idriss quickly interrupts. “Don’t give me that. You know what he means.”</p><p>“She makes a point,” Arthur disagrees. “Tony Stark’s world is a world that believes in science and technology. Since when is that our reality?” Everyone at the table chuckles at that.</p><p>“Well, I always thought Tony Stark was hot,” Eliott offers as the eyes of the tables turn to him.</p><p>“Yeah, no surprise there,” Idriss snorts.</p><p>“I always thought Batman was hotter,” Bas says, face wrinkled as he gives the subject serious thought.</p><p>“No way,” Emma suddenly swings back to the table as though she’d been there the whole time. “Iron man would be so much hotter to fuck. Like you just<em> know</em> he’d be better in the sack.”</p><p>“Iron man literally becomes an alcoholic. No way he’s better in bed,” Arthur argues.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Lucas suddenly speaks, laughing lightly. “We all know you’d fuck Batman, Arthur.”</p><p>“You’re one to talk,” Arthur rebuts.</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows rise and he grins at Lucas. “Batman? Really?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, smiling a little. “This isn’t the first time Arthur’s made his case.”</p><p>“The hero with the tragic backstory,” Arthur laughs. “Lucas relates.”</p><p>“Yeah, ok. Fuck off.” Lucas reaches to shove Arthur’s shoulder, but he’s smiling in shared amusement.</p><p>“But Batman’s so dark and angsty,” Eliott argues, satisfied only when Lucas’s attention returns to him. “He’s all pain and brooding. Iron Man is cocky and fun.”</p><p>“Yeah I’m sure you’ve given his cock lots of thought,” Lucas retorts.</p><p>“Hey!” Eliott laughs, delighting in the way Lucas returns his smile. “I didn’t take the conversation there. That’s all you!”</p><p>“Oh right. Because ‘Tony Stark is hot’ wasn’t gonna end there.” Lucas raises an eyebrow in challenge.</p><p>“Did your conversation about Batman end there?”</p><p>“Oh that conversation’s not over until I see for myself.”</p><p>“What – you expecting Batman to just whip his dick out in the next movie?”</p><p>“Honestly with Ben Affleck playing him I’m surprised it hasn’t happened yet. Totally seems like the kind of guy to whip out his dick out for no reason at all.”</p><p>“Ok but you have to admit if anyone was to whip his dick out, we’d all prefer it be Robert Downey Jr.” Eliott’s comment is met with no resistance, everyone shouting different forms of drunken agreement. Eliott grins proudly at Lucas and is rewarded with a shake of the head and a smile.</p><p>Eyes catch Eliott’s over Lucas’s shoulder. Eliott doesn’t even mean to look. But then he has. It’s a young woman. She’s very beautiful and her height means she’s easily seen over the majority of bargoers. Curly hair pulled high in a ponytail bounces in a riot of curls around her head, and her dark skin glows in the warm lights of the bar. There’s no mistaking the intention in her gaze. She smiles and licks her lips. Eliott glances away. Lucas’s eyes are on his drink. He looks to be listening intently as the conversation continues at the table. Emma is loudly declaring who is on her list of top five fucks in the superhero-verse.</p><p>“Hi.” There’s a gentle hand moving across Eliott’s back, a warm body settling at his side. He turns to see the same woman. She smiles and offers a hand to shake when Eliott turns his body towards her. “I’m Anna.”</p><p>“Eliott.” He grips her hand. She’s even more beautiful up close, about as tall as him though that’s likely thanks to her heels. He eyes are a light brown, matched by the colour of her skin.</p><p>There’s a distinctive snort from across the table. Eliott turns to see Lucas looking right at them.</p><p>“What’d I say?” Lucas rolls his eyes. “Glance across the bar and they’re tripping over themselves.”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Anna asks, looking between them.</p><p>“Nothing,” Eliott hurries to respond before Lucas can, shooting Lucas a warning look before turning back to Anna. “Just a conversation we were having before you arrived.”</p><p>“Ohhh.” Anna smiles. “Well I want in on that.” She presses closer still, her breasts soft and warm against Eliott’s bicep. There’s no question she’s attractive and even less doubt that she’s interested. She’s everything Eliott should want for the evening. A warm, interested body he can fall into bed with. A way to exhaust himself and fall into a satiated sleep. Even better… a way to work out this pent-up <em>frustration</em> that’s been building since he laid eyes on Lucas. He should want her. He <em>should</em>. He turns to pick up his beer and chug the rest of the contents as Emma yells across the table.</p><p>“Ok, who would you fuck Iron Man or Batman?”</p><p>Anna laughs a little but seems to take the question seriously, humming as she thinks. “Batman. Definitely.”</p><p>The table erupts in both jeers and agreement but it’s Lucas’s voice that rings clear across them. “Batman?” He sneers, mockery written across his face. “That’s original.”</p><p>Eliott’s gapes in confusion. “But you just said –”</p><p>“Well, I don’t know,” Anna continues. She’s pressed tightly to Eliott still and her hand moves to circle his arm, fingers lightly dancing up and down his forearm. He shivers involuntarily at the touch. “Iron Man always struck me as a bit of a selfish character. Always looking out for himself first. Selfish traits never translate to anyone being good in bed. Batman is all about looking out for others. To his own detriment, right? A guy that selfless is going to be <em>fantastic </em>in bed.” Eliott can feel her eyes fall on the side of his face as she smiles.  </p><p>Lucas scowls, eyes dropping to Anna’s hand on Eliott’s arm before looking away.</p><p>“But Iron Man literally sacrificed himself for the world,” Arthur suddenly pipes up, looking pleased by the introduction of a new person to engage in this conversation. “That’s like… the most selfless act.”</p><p>“Yeah but that’s at the end of the world,” Anna argues, voice infused with warmth and good humour. “What good is a guy who only decides to let me come first when it’s the end of the world?” The table erupts in laughter, and Eliott turns to grin at Anna. Having caught his attention she asks, “So what are you, a batman or an iron man?”</p><p>“Isn’t the question supposed to be who would you <em>do</em>?” Lucas snipes from across the table. Anna doesn’t spare him a glance, holding Eliott’s gaze steadily.</p><p>“Eliott is one hundred percent a Batman,” Idriss laughs, shoving Eliott from behind. Eliott stumbles slightly into Anna, wrapping an arm around her to prevent her from falling. He pulls her closer, throwing a glare over his shoulder in Idriss’s direction. “What?” Idriss snorts. “How many nights have I slept on your guys’ couch with that shared wall to your room? I know what you’re like in bed whether I want to or not.” Drunk Idriss when he’s at the point of oversharing is absolutely one of the worst versions of Idriss.</p><p>“Well,” Anna’s arms are sliding around Eliott’s neck and she presses the length of their bodies together, “I like the sounds of that.”</p><p>“This is a stupid conversation.” It’s Lucas who has spoken again, his voice abrupt and irritated.</p><p>“Whoa,” Arthur objects. “Let’s not bash the convo just ‘cause you’re not the one getting laid tonight, Lulu.”</p><p>“Gotta go out there and find your own, Batman, Lallemant,” Emma joins in the teasing. “Just get him to remove the stick from your ass before he fucks you.” Lucas’s face is a storm cloud, beautiful but dark and filled with menacing intent.</p><p>“We’re only joking, Lucas,” Arthur offers, seeming to realize Lucas is genuinely pissed off.</p><p>“You really could stand to get laid though,” Emma adds, rolling her eyes and looking much less concerned about the way Lucas’s glare encapsulates the phrase: <em>If looks could kill</em>.</p><p>“Whatever,” Lucas scoffs. He’s flipping his phone back and forth in his hand agitatedly. His attention catches on Eliott for a split second, eyes narrowing when they drift to Anna. “I’m going to the bathroom.” He storms off before there’s opportunity for anyone to direct any more comments his way.</p><p>“Well, he seems lovely,” Anna comments after a moment of stunned silence has passed. “He’s your friend?”</p><p>Eliott turns his head from Lucas’s retreating form to answer her. “I only just met him. I’ll be working with him.”</p><p>“Oh damn.” She wrinkles her nose in sympathy. “I hope I didn’t make that worse. I’m not sure how I did but he seemed really pissed off.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott assures. “You didn’t do anything wrong. He was just…” He turns slightly to glance back towards Arthur.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Arthur admits, glancing towards where Lucas disappeared. “I think he’s just stressed.”</p><p>“Pissed. Stressed and pissed,” Idriss snorts with laughter, his inebriated state finding this hilarious.</p><p>Eliott sighs and returns his attention to Anna. Her fingers move to the back of his neck, threading up and through his hair, nails dragging along his scalp and leaving goosebumps in their wake. She smiles and steps closer. Eliott finds his eyes dropping to her lips, pink and shining in the dim lights of the bar.</p><p>“So, we’re in agreement about where this is going, right?” She asks with a slight smile, tone suggestive.</p><p>Eliott smiles. He can do this. He’s good at this. “I don’t know,” he drawls, moving the hand on her back until it rests gently against her waist. “You might need to spell it out for me. I got lost somewhere around the Batman metaphor.”</p><p>She laughs. “I believe the basic summary you were to take from that is that I want to come first. As to how we get there… I’m open to suggestion.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. He has to appreciate how forward she is, particularly when it comes to her own desires. It’s sexy honestly. A partner who knows what they want and isn’t afraid to ask for it. He just… he can’t ignore that instinct pulling at his gut… telling him to follow Lucas. It’s more overwhelming than the feel of the warm, desirable body in his arms. And despite everything, despite it already having steered him wrong where Lucas is concerned, he can’t ignore it.</p><p>“I’m sure I can handle that. Just – would you excuse me a minute?” Her eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “I’m just going to go check on Lucas. See exactly how pissed he is. Kinda need him not to hate me if we’re going to work together,” he rushes to explain, hoping that the excuse sounds somewhat plausible.</p><p>“Oh.” She smiles kindly, moving her arms from around his neck. “Of course.” Her eyes search his own for a moment. “Then we’ll get out of here?”</p><p>“Yeah,” he assures, releasing her from his own hold and stepping back as her hands slide down his chest and then fall to her sides. “I’ll only be a couple minutes.” She nods.</p><p>“We’ll keep her entertained!” Idriss yells, far louder than necessary. “C’mere, batgirl!”</p><p>Anna laughs but joins Idriss at his side. “Batgirl?”</p><p>“Well yeah,” Idriss hiccups. “Batwom – batwoman is too hard to say.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, turning from them to make his way once more to the back bathrooms. He’ll be lucky if Idriss hasn’t scared her off by the time he gets back. Somehow the thought that he’s potentially just let go of what was sure to be a good lay isn’t nearly as bothersome as it perhaps should be. As he approaches the door to the bathroom, raised voices filter through the rest of the bar noise. Something about it catches Eliott’s attention despite a cacophony of surrounding sound. It’s one voice in particular. Lucas.</p><p>Eliott glances around himself to identify the location of the voices. But they’ve gone silent now, or at least they’re no longer at a volume at which Eliott can overhear. He can’t see Lucas anywhere. A quick glance into the bathroom confirms he’s not there either. Eliott stands searching the space around him stupidly for a moment. Surely, he <em>did</em> just hear Lucas? And was that agitation or excitement in his voice? Something about not having a sure answer to that question keeps Eliott rooted to the spot. The space extends, leading to a hallway and a number of private rooms, and ending in the back stairs down to the dance floor.</p><p>Eliott’s feet are walking in that direction before he’s made a conscious decision to move. The first room is very obviously occupied by a private party and Eliott passes it by. The second room however is more dimly lit, the door to it closed. It feels a bit silly – to be seeking out someone so adamantly when Eliott barely even knows Lucas, and further yet, Lucas might not want to be found. His gut says keep searching. Eliott pushes open the door.</p><p>He’s not sure what he was expecting. The sight greeting him is only what he <em>should</em> have expected having entered a private room and yet he finds himself freezing in shock, a small sound of surprise escaping him. There’s Lucas, appearing far smaller than he had standing across the table from Eliott. But he’s tiny in comparison to the man pressing him again the wall. Lucas’s hands are locked in a tight grip on the man’s shirt, their bodies lined up, and they’re… kissing. Or they were up until the moment Eliott burst in on them. They both turn to him in shock. Lucas quickly pushes the man away from him, wiping at his mouth, his face flushed and hair in even more chaotic disarray.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Eliott begins, finding he has to force the words out, a lump in his throat blocking their path. “I didn’t mean to –” His eyes fall on the face of the man who had been locked in embrace with Lucas and he’s immediately robbed of his voice. He knows that face. He recognizes him.</p><p>“Eliott, what are you –”</p><p>He turns without another glance at Lucas and moves with purpose back down the hall. There’s a new feeling building in him. It fills his body so quickly he finds his breath coming short. It’s anger. Righteous anger. And it’s blinding with its sudden intensity.</p><p>“Eliott! Eliott!!!” Lucas’s grip is wrenching Eliott back around before he makes the stairs. He’s out of breath, cheeks still flushed, lips freshly kissed, red and swollen. Having gotten Eliott to stop and face him, he seems suddenly at a loss for words, face guileless and stripped of former defenses. “Thank you –”</p><p>“For what?” Eliott scoffs. “Let me guess – for not saying anything.”</p><p>“Saying anything?” <em>Wow</em>. He’s really got the innocent act down, eyes wide and confused.</p><p>“Don’t.” Eliott inhales deeply through his nose, clenching his jaw as anger strums through his body. “I know who he is, so save the excuses.”</p><p>Colour drains from Lucas’s face. “Eliott,” he steps closer, raising a hand to touch before thinking better of it and letting it hover awkwardly in the space between them, “it’s not what you think.”</p><p>“You don’t take any handouts, hunh?” Eliott scoffs, biting at the inside of his cheek as he turns to stare sightless towards the rest of the bar below them.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Lucas’s voice has quieted, but it’s sharp as a blade now.</p><p>“Easy to say you’re responsible for all your success – you don’t take any <em>handouts</em> – when you’re fucking the head cardiothoracic surgeon at the hospital about to employ you.” Eliott refuses to quail at the sight of the anger spreading across Lucas’s face. He can play at outrage as much as he likes. It doesn’t make Eliott’s anger any less justified.</p><p>“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” Lucas spits. He’s glancing around them as though afraid they’ll be overheard. A ridiculous thought considering the din of bar noise assures them relative anonymity. Then again… Eliott supposes that’s what Lucas thought when he’d indulged in his illicit hookup.</p><p>Eliott laughs, cold and without humour. “That’s right. Because you’re all about boundaries. I forgot. No mixing business and pleasure.”</p><p>“Is that what this is about?” Lucas steps forward into Eliott’s space. “You’re pissed I wouldn’t fuck <em>you</em>?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott balks. “I’m pissed because you’re a hypocrite. You want to be clear about why you got where you did? Rest assured, I won’t forget.”</p><p>“Fuck you!” Lucas shoves his chest and Eliott, surprised and thrown off balance, stumbles back a step. “How about you go fuck the girl drooling all over you and stay the fuck out of my life.”</p><p>“And keep my mouth shut?” Eliott steps back into Lucas’s space, refusing to give him ground. “That’s what you expect, isn’t it?” Lucas crosses his arms against his chest, face cutting away, but he says nothing. “Don’t worry,” Eliott says with false kindness. “<em>Everything</em> I’ve achieved is my own. You want a competition? You got it. Whatever step-up you think you have – whatever fucking him gets you – it won’t matter. It won’t make you better.”</p><p>“Fuck you,” Lucas repeats, voice cracking on the second word. “Do whatever the fuck you want.” He pushes past Eliott, driving his shoulder into Eliott’s body. Eliott watches him go, waiting until Lucas has disappeared down the descending stairs before he collapses back against the wall.</p><p>He squeezes his eyes shut, bracing his hands against his thighs as he leans forward and attempts to catch his breath. His heartbeat is pounding in his ears and after a moment he realizes he’s shaking. The previous surge of adrenaline now drained from his body, he can’t control the reaction, shivering violently. It’s a shock reaction. And with it comes instant regret. The feeling crawls up the back of Eliott’s throat and he gags slightly.</p><p>What the fuck was he thinking? He shouldn’t have responded like that. He doesn’t know Lucas. But he’s going to have to. Lucas is a coworker. One he’ll be seeing day in, day out. The thought of <em>seeing</em> Lucas, <em>working </em>with him after… that. It has another wave of nausea washing over Eliott and he presses a hand to his forehead in an attempt to calm himself.</p><p>Lucas was right. So was Eliott for that matter but… it doesn’t change the fact that Lucas was right. Eliott was angry – he <em>is</em> angry – Lucas didn’t choose him. That Lucas has someone else. Not just someone else… one of the most talented surgeons in Paris… France maybe. And Eliott is… jealous. He groans unhappily, pushing up against the wall until he forces himself into a proper standing position. He’s ridiculous. He only just met Lucas. But it’s there all the same. Writhing, green jealousy, slithering beneath his rib cage and wrapping vice tight around his heart.  </p><p>But he’s angry too. It’s not misplaced. Not really. A relationship between a newly hired surgical intern and one of the head surgeons of their program <em>is </em>fucked up. But it’s also… not Eliott’s place to say so. He knows that. Just as surely as he recognizes the entirely inappropriate sentiment fueling that anger. His stomach rolls with unrest.</p><p>One thing is for sure, however. He owes Lucas an apology. Fuck.</p><p>There’s no sign of Lucas when Eliott makes his way back towards their friends. That’s no surprise. And it’s probably a good thing. Eliott’s not even sure he could form a sincere – never mind thoughtful – apology, nor that Lucas would accept it. And if Eliott is honest, he can’t even guarantee he’d mean it. He’ll get there, with a little distraction in the form of the beautiful woman waiting for him, and enough time to forget this ugly, unfamiliar, and worse… unjustified jealousy simmering just beneath his skin.</p><p>Tomorrow. He’ll handle things with Lucas tomorrow.</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott is early and likely resembles little more than a giant bundle of nerves. He’s been to the hospital before of course, but not like this. Not as a surgeon. Not as a bonafide employee.</p><p>He finds himself standing in the way of a number of nurses and fumbles to move aside, doing his best to disappear into his surroundings while he waits. Emma approaching is a sight Eliott welcomes with something like relief.</p><p>“Hey!” He greets her a little too loudly and enthusiastically if the way she cringes and presses a hand to her forehead is any frame of reference.</p><p>“Ugh. Fuck.” She squints at him. “Oh. Hotshot, it’s you. Sorry.” She rests a hand on his shoulder. It seems to be in service of keeping her standing. “Went a little too hard last night.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, moving them both so she can rest back against the wall. “You sure you’ll make it through? They say the first shift is the worst.”</p><p>She waves off his concern. “The boys are bringing me more caffeine. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>Eliott’s breath catches. “The boys? You mean, Yann and, um… Lucas?”</p><p>She hums in confirmation, glancing around them. More interns have gathered and Eliott finds himself the subject of a number of curious appraisals.</p><p>“Fuck. Who is <em>that</em>?”</p><p>Eliott turns to see who she’s referring to. It’s Alex, looking somewhat worse for wear himself. He too had been out the night before and stumbled home in the wee hours of the morning, waking Eliott, as he’d had a girl in tow, and they hadn’t bothered to be quiet. With Anna still laying placidly in bed beside him at the time, Eliott was hardly one to judge.</p><p>“One of my roommates. Alex.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Emma has straightened and stepped slightly away from Eliott. She no longer looks even a little hungover, her eyes curious and open, obvious interest brightening her face.</p><p>Eliott smothers a laugh. “You should know he’s a manwhore.” It’s only the truth and Eliott won’t feel even a little bad for pointing it out. Not when Alex would gladly leap on any opportunities to slander Eliott just the same – though, Eliott would like to be very clear, he is <em>not</em> as deserving of the reputation as Alex.</p><p>“Even better.” She’s smiles and calls out to him, “Alex!” He turns to look towards them, face twisting with confusion before he makes his way over.</p><p>He nods at Eliott before resting his attention on Emma. “Sorry, have we uh…” His eyebrows shoot up. “Fuck. You’re not the chick from last week, are you?”</p><p>Emma snorts. “Believe me, you fuck me, you’ll remember it.”</p><p>Alex’s face transforms with surprise before he laughs. He cocks his head, eyes dragging up and down her body. “Yeah, I bet. I’m Alex, but I guess you already knew that.”</p><p>“Emma.” They clasp one another’s hands, their holds lingering.</p><p>Movement at the corner of his eye catches Eliott’s attention and he turns to see Yann and Lucas approaching. Yann begins making his way towards them while Lucas waits, lingering at the back of the other interns.</p><p>“I’m just gonna…” Emma and Alex absolutely don’t care. Eliott moves towards Lucas, nodding at Yann as he passes.</p><p>Lucas refuses to look at Eliott, but the tense set of his shoulders says he’s well aware of Eliott’s approach.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t say anything in reply, jaw locked as he stares ahead.</p><p>“Could I talk to you for a minute?” Eliott asks tentatively.</p><p>“We don’t have to do this.” Lucas’s voice when he speaks is cold, his anger palpable.</p><p>“Do what?” Eliott can’t help the way he too has tensed at the tone of Lucas’s voice, his body bracing for a fight even while his brain begs him to handle this differently.</p><p>Lucas turns to face him and Eliott finds his breath pulled from him immediately.</p><p>“This bullshit truce you’re looking for.”</p><p>The skin at the back of Eliott’s neck prickles. “I was only trying to –”</p><p>“Well don’t,” Lucas cuts him off. “You made yourself heard last night. I don’t have to listen to you now.”</p><p>Eliott notices the interns standing closest to them glance back curiously, and he drops his voice slightly in response.</p><p>“Of course you don’t.” Eliott exhales a frustrated breath. “But we’re working together, and we don’t even know one another, surely we can –”</p><p>“You think I don’t know you?” Lucas shakes his head, disbelief clear. “The boy who plays at <em>nice</em>. Acts like he’s above it all. Really, he just doesn’t have the balls to admit he’s as vicious as the rest of us. You’re not as unique as you think you are.”</p><p>“That’s not what I’m doing,” Eliott insists, finding he can’t quite quell that familiar thrum vibrating in his chest. “You don’t know me at all.”</p><p>“Please,” Lucas rolls his eyes. “I know too many of you. You’re the basic template of every guy I met in med school.”</p><p>“And you’re better, are you?” Eliott challenges. “Being openly vicious? Letting your ego be your guidepost? You think I didn’t meet a million of you in med school? The surgeon with the god complex. There’s nothing unique about that either.”</p><p>“Difference is the surgeon with the god complex will be the one saving lives.”</p><p>“Right. All based on your own merit. Nothing to do with who you’re sleeping with.”</p><p>Lucas steps closer, tipping his face to spit the words directly into Eliott’s. “Who I fuck has nothing to do with you. I’ll be the best because I <em>am</em> the best.”</p><p>“Not anymore,” Eliott points out. “That’s why you’re really angry, isn’t it? That a <em>nice guy</em> might just be better than you. That maybe you don’t have to crush everyone in your path to get to the top.”</p><p>“Don’t flatter yourself,” Lucas scoffs. “You’re not that important.”</p><p><em>“Well, I’m glad we agree on that.</em>”</p><p>With an appropriate amount of horror, Eliott turns to see Mika Dolleron, their resident, standing next to them, the rest of the interns collected around him, watching with varying levels of interest.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas expels with an aggrieved breath. Eliott echoes the thought in his head.</p><p>“Lallemant, Demaury. Can’t say I’m entirely surprised.” Mika smiles but there’s nothing comforting about the way he’s looking at them. “Now then, let’s get a few things straight. When I’m here, your attention is on me, you shut up and listen. Got it?” Eliott dutifully nods and sees Lucas do the same from his side. “I know you two think you’re hot shit, but as of right now, you’re nothing. You’re grunts, right along with everyone else.” Eliott’s face burns under the scrutiny of all the intern’s eyes. “You.” He looks at Lucas. “You think you’ll have people quaking in your wake? Please. You’re an ego with hair. And you.” His eyes fall on Eliott. “Used to being told how special you are? In here? You’re average.” He looks around him, directing his next comments loudly to the rest of the group, “That applies to all of you. As of right now, there’s nothing special about you. You’ll either prove yourselves from here on out or fail trying. And let me make this clear – a few of you <em>will</em> fail. I’m not here to catch you when you fall. I’m not going to stop you from jumping to your untimely death either. I’m not your Jack, you’re not my Rose. But I promise you, I will keep that damn door for myself.” His formally stern face suddenly breaks into a vibrant smile and he claps his hands together, making a number of them jump. “Ok, speech time is done. Let’s move. We’re touring the OR with the Chief. If any of you embarrass me, I’ll murder you with my bare hands.” His smile never breaks, his tone bright and cheerful as he turns away and marches down the hallway. The rest of the intern’s scurry to follow.</p><p>Eliott stares after him in shock. Did he really just get told off by their resident in the very first minutes of his <em>first day</em> as a surgical intern? Not just told off but <em>called out</em>. All because he lost his temper <em>again</em>. Eliott doesn’t do this. He <em>doesn’t</em> lose himself to his emotions like this. He doesn’t ever behave so unprofessionally. But he gets around Lucas and … he can’t control himself. Eliott turns to look at him. Lucas is already looking back.</p><p>“Like I said… <em>average</em>. I don’t need to know more than that.” Lucas walks away.</p><p>And that as they say, is that.</p><p>Lucas Lallemant. The Ego.</p><p>Eliott Demaury. Average.</p><p>One day into his career as a surgeon and Eliott had already made an enemy. He just wishes…</p><p>He wishes he didn’t care.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>Come yell at me! </p><p>Hope you enjoyed the beginning of this journey with our boys! Next chapter will be coming same time next weekend! &lt;3333</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p><b>Warning:</b> Because this au is based in a hospital, there will be some instances where medical 'stuff' happens – including in this chapter, puke. I will try to warn about anything that might be upsetting in future chapters!</p><p>And thank you to everyone for the encouragement and kind words after the first chapter. I'm so thrilled you all are as excited about this au as I am! Decided to update a day early 'cause I could manage it! I hope you enjoy &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>When Eliott’s eyes open it’s to that familiar sensation of blissful ignorance. For just those few seconds before his brain wakes and kicks in with conscious thoughts and daily worries, Eliott has no job, no duties, no responsibilities, no relationships, no expectations, or standards to meet. He revels in that singular moment of nothingness before letting the rest of the world filter back in.</p><p>“You’re up. Good.”</p><p>Eliott flips to his other side on the bed, yawning widely as he watches Anna pull her shirt on.</p><p>“Morning,” he mumbles, voice rough with disuse.</p><p>She smiles. “Good morning. Sorry, I know it’s super early. You can go back to sleep if you want.”</p><p>“No, it’s ok.” Eliott stretches with a satisfied groan. “I can make breakfast.”</p><p>She freezes where she’s pulling up her jeans, throwing him an amused if unimpressed look. “Eliott, we don’t do that.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, laughing lightly as he presses his face into his arm on the bed. “I know.” He does know of course. It’s the best thing about his relationship with Anna – if he can call it that. Anna had been clear from their very first night together – zero commitment, zero strings. They were not dating. She had gotten out of the sort of long-term relationship you lose yourself in completely only a few months prior to them hooking up. She was looking for sex, physical connection and release, and nothing more. Eliott was not the only guy she was seeing, and she wouldn’t apologize for that. She expected that he’d be seeing other people as well. It was a pretty ideal situation all things considered. His first couple of months as a surgical intern had been more than a little taxing. Devoting time, attention, or emotional depth to any sort of relationship was more than Eliott was capable of at present. His and Anna’s relationship was simple. A short text from either of them and they were on one another’s doorstep. A satisfying night in bed followed by a quick departure in the morning. Simple. Easy.</p><p>Anna travelled often for work as a result they tended to see one another in bursts. A number of sequential, satisfying nights together, followed by nothing for weeks. Last night had been one such occasion, having not seen Anna for nearly two weeks. They seemed to only exist to one another when physically present. Eliott didn’t miss her, nor she him. All the same, Eliott enjoyed spending time with her when he did. Physically they worked. The sex was good. And she was smart and clever. Outside of the very clear boundaries they’d set with one another, they’d probably be friends.</p><p>“It’s breakfast, Anna. You need to eat.” Eliott grins up at her. “I promise I haven’t fallen madly in love with you.”</p><p>“You bet your ass you haven’t,” she scoffs. She finishes fastening her pants and rests a knee on the bed, leaning over Eliott to press a brief kiss to his lips. “Can’t blame a girl for worrying. Look at me.” She leans back enough to gesture down the length of her body.</p><p>“Eh.” Eliott shrugs as though unimpressed.</p><p>She laughs, pushing him back by the forehead until he’s forced to flop onto his back. “Asshole.” She sighs, glancing to the closed bedroom door for a moment. “Fine. A quick breakfast. But only because your roommate is hot and likes to cook without a shirt.”</p><p>“You’re just bitter he’s off-limits,” Eliott laughs, rolling from the bed and reaching for his briefs.</p><p>“Never denied that,” she admits with zero shame. “Just consider yourself lucky he wasn’t there the night I met you. Those abs on him…”</p><p>“Honestly, I think I’d prefer having to listen to you bang him instead of Emma. That girl is <em>loud</em>.” Eliott leads them out of his room as Anna laughs.</p><p>When they enter the main living room, only Lucille is occupying the space. She raises one perfectly groomed eyebrow at the sight of Anna.</p><p>“Wow. No sneaking out? Could it be love?”</p><p>Anna snorts. “Don’t be a bitch just because I refuse to take him off your hands.” Lucille laughs and gladly accepts the kisses Anna bestows on her cheeks.</p><p>“I’m not suggesting you take him off my hands,” Lucille says, smile wide, “I’m suggesting you move in. I much prefer your company.” Anna giggles in response, plopping onto the couch next to Lucille.</p><p>“You know,” Eliott drawls, “I am right here… about to offer to make you both breakfast.”</p><p>“You’re gonna make us breakfast whether we roast you or not,” Lucille scoffs, waving a hand towards him. “Now go. I never get a chance to chat with Anna because she’s always running away from your clingy ass.”</p><p>Eliott makes a sound of outrage, though it sounds more like a strangled squeak. “I am not clingy! I am the least clingy!” Anna and Lucille continue to stare at him with identical expressions boredom. Eliott sighs. “Pancakes?”</p><p>“With banana?”</p><p>“And chocolate? Oh, and some eggs!”</p><p>They don’t even wait for his answer, quickly turning to one another and immediately diving into conversation.</p><p>With another aggrieved sigh they refuse to acknowledge, Eliott turns and makes his way to the kitchen. It’s his own fault really. He’s the one who had to go ahead and repeatedly find himself attracted to strong, independent, beautiful women. He should have seen this coming.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Do you think I’m clingy?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>Eliott swings to face Idriss fully. “Wow. Take a few minutes to think about it.”</p><p>Idriss laughs, turning to the cupboard to file the paperwork he’d been finishing. “Why are you asking?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, grabbing for Idriss’s pen and rolling it between his fingers. “I don’t know. Something Lucille said.”</p><p>“Well that’s ironic,” Idriss scoffs, leaning a hip against the desk where he stands. “You were anything but clingy when you dated her.”</p><p>“She was joking when she said it,” Eliott admits. “But… I don’t know.” He can’t pinpoint the feeling niggling deep in his chest, but it’s there and it’s persistent.</p><p>Idriss sighs and his hand drops to Eliott’s shoulder, offering an affectionate squeeze. “I think you want to be clingy.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks around a quick laugh. “What does that mean?”</p><p>“Like…” Idriss sighs, eyes moving to the roof as he considers how to word himself. “Like you want to have someone to be clingy with. Like you want that thing that makes you want to hang on.”</p><p>“I’ve been with people though,” Eliott disagrees. “A lot of people. I’ve been with Anna for over two months.”</p><p>“You’re not with Anna. You’re sleeping with Anna,” Idriss points out with an eyebrow arched. “And that’s my point.”</p><p>“That I like sex?”</p><p>“That you want more than that.” Idriss shrugs. “You’re good at casual but you want a reason not to be.”</p><p>Eliott contemplates the words, rolling them around his mouth and tasting the flavour. “And that makes me clingy?”</p><p>“It makes you <em>future</em> clingy.” He tilts his head slightly as though sizing Eliott up. “The second you have someone you want to hang onto you’ll be glued to their ass like a bad rash.”</p><p>“Well that’s not a nice way of putting it,” Eliott pouts, but he doesn’t disagree. He can’t. <em>Future clingy</em>. <em>Someone to hang onto</em>. He swallows the words and they settle in his stomach. All the same, however, he could do without the comparison to a particularly disliked affliction. “I won’t be a rash.”</p><p>Idriss smacks him lightly on the cheek. “Relax. You’ll find someone as clingy as you and they’ll love that about you.”</p><p>Daphne interrupts before Eliott has a chance to respond.</p><p>“Idriss, could you change the dressings for 1302? I need to check on Mr. Dupont.”</p><p>He tips his head with a quick salute. “Can do, goldilocks.”</p><p>The moment he’s gone, Eliott turns to Daphne. “Hey, Daphne, would you say you’re clingy?”</p><p>“Definitely.” She answers immediately, barely looking up from the charts she’s sorting.</p><p>“Really?” Eliott can’t help but ask, a little surprised by her total lack of hesitation.</p><p>She shrugs, glancing up to look at him now. “Sure. I know myself well enough to know that.”</p><p>“And Bas?” Eliott continues. “Is he clingy too?”</p><p>She laughs. “Bas is five hundred times clingier than me.” A sweet smile overtakes her face, and she shrugs. “It works for us.”</p><p>“Hunh.” Eliott stares at her somewhat amazed and perhaps a little envious.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury.”</p><p>Eliott is pulled from his silent contemplation by the sound of Dr. Millet’s voice, and he turns to him quickly.</p><p>“Dr. Millet,” Eliott greets with a friendly smile. Dr. Millet is one of the friendlier surgeons Eliott has had an opportunity to get to know. He’s no-nonsense and often a little abrupt, and Eliott had found him mildly intimidating when they’d first met, but he’s also father to an adorable set of twin girls. The moment Eliott had by chance, seen them running to greet their dad as he left the hospital one evening, the handsome surgeon’s face breaking into a delighted smile as he’d laughed after being smothered by the tiny girls’ kisses, had been the moment Eliott began regarding him more favourably. It was easy to forget sometimes. With the cold, matter-of-fact mannerism of so many of the more senior surgeons at the hospital… that they were still… human. Parents, husbands and wives, and friends. Dr. Millet was one of the younger at the hospital, but there was still something incredibly foreign and untouchable about him.</p><p>“You handled pre-op with Mrs. Lemieux?” Dr. Millet asks.</p><p>“I did, yes,” Eliott confirms. “I understand her surgery was pushed to today?” While surgeries being cancelled or rescheduled were fairly regular occurrences, Eliott had been taken by surprise to learn Dr. Millet had done so. Eliott had been the one to notify Claudine. She’d been both relieved and frustrated and Eliott had felt the exact same way.</p><p>“Yes.” He offers no further explanation. “You’ll be in the OR with me today. You’re scrubbing in.”</p><p>A surge of excitement rushes through Eliott. “Scrubbing in?” They’d all heard an intern would likely be invited into the OR but Eliott had expected even in a best-case scenario where he was that intern, he’d only be observing.</p><p>A flicker of a smile appears on Dr. Millet’s face. “I believe that’s what I said. I’ll see you in there.” He turns and begins walking away.</p><p>“Thank you!” Eliott just barely manages to yell after him. It’s met only with a slightly wave over Dr. Millet’s shoulder.</p><p>Holy shit. He’s scrubbing in. He never has before. Or he supposes he has once. For that coronary bypass with Dr. Moreau. A number of the interns had been invited to scrub in. Eliott, Emma, Alex, and Lisa. It had only taken Eliott about thirty seconds of being in the OR to realize what it was, a demonstration in narcissism. Dr. Moreau had no intention of letting any of them participate. Nor did he have any aim of making it a valuable learning experience. With so many interns, in addition to the surgical staff, and Dr. Moreau’s insistence that the interns not ‘loom’ anywhere near him, Eliott had barely seen anything at all. The observation deck overlooking the OR afforded a better view. But Dr. Moreau had wanted an audience. A crowded OR with him the center of attention, the one with the power. It was an exercise in watching the surgeon get his dick metaphorically sucked. Why he’d asked for the interns to scrub in at all instead of just being told they’d be observing only, Eliott still doesn’t know. A way to taunt or toy with them, he supposes. And if he hadn’t already despised Dr. Moreau before, that had solidified it.</p><p>But Dr. Millet isn’t anything like him. This is an actual opportunity to <em>scrub in</em> for a complex surgery. This is a chance rarely offered to surgical interns. Eliott can barely believe his luck.</p><p>He needs to tell Claudine!</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“I hear you’re scrubbing in.”</p><p>Eliott looks up from his salad with a smile at the sound of Imane’s voice.</p><p>“Right after lunch,” he confirms, gesturing for her to join him at his table in the cafeteria. She sets her tray of food down, collapsing into the chair facing Eliott with a groan. She winces slightly, rubbing at her lower back as she settles. “How’d you know anyways?” She gives him a look. “Ah, Sofiane.” Her slight nod confirms his assumption is correct. He’d of course shared his excitement over the surgery immediately in his group chat with his two best friends. And whatever Sofiane knows, Imane knows.</p><p>“Nervous?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Not really. Mostly excited.”</p><p>“Atta boy.” She grins, reaching forward to affectionately squeeze his forearm.</p><p>“How are things going for you?”</p><p>Imane looks up from her meal with a slight smile. “How do you think?”</p><p>Eliott returns her smile. “I think I’m surprised you don’t have the whole hospital working for you yet.”</p><p>“We’re only two months in.” She shrugs. “Give it time.”</p><p>He laughs.</p><p>“Demaury!” The sound of Emma’s voice echoes through the entire cafeteria, drawing the attention of the majority of persons present. It doesn’t phase Emma at all. She waves wildly, as though it weren’t clear who had just yelled his name across the room and makes her way towards them. When she reaches them, she slams her tray down onto the table next to Imane, collapsing onto the corresponding seat. “You’re scrubbing in? On a knee replacement? Who’d you fuck to make that happen?!”</p><p>“Excuse me?” Imane responds, looking offended on Eliott’s behalf.</p><p>“Imane, meet Emma,” Eliott offers, chuckling. “Emma meet Imane.”</p><p>“Hey!” Emma offers a hand, grabbing her sandwich with the other and taking and enthusiastic bite out of it.</p><p>“Hey.” Imane tentatively takes her hand, looking caught between bewildered and amused.</p><p>“You’re medical, yeah?” Emma asks through her mouthful.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Imane confirms. She’s definitely amused now. “And you’re surgical.”</p><p>“That’s right.” Emma reaches for her drink, taking a gulp before continuing. “Not a hotshot like our boy Demaury here, but I do ok.”</p><p>“Imane’s a hotshot too,” Eliott points out proudly. “She’s the best of the medical interns.”</p><p>Imane rolls her eyes. “Med school doesn’t count. I have to prove myself here too.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. “You’re really going to try to claim you haven’t done that in the past two months?”</p><p>She doesn’t disagree because of course she doesn’t. She can’t. Imane <em>is </em>the best. Eliott never doubted she would be. She wouldn’t have it any other way.</p><p>“Speaking of hotshots – Lallemant!” Emma is yelling before Eliott can stop her. Not that he ever would have had the chance. She’s looking behind him as she flaps her arms in the direction of what must be Lucas entering the cafeteria. It feels as though every muscle in Eliott’s body tenses. He hasn’t seen Lucas since pre-rounds, when Lucas had taken one look at him, eyes flicking to his hair, before he’d scoffed and walked away. In short, Eliott feels he’s met his quota on how much Lucas he can handle in one day.</p><p>A foot nudges at Eliott’s ankle. He glances up to see Imane watching him curiously. Her eyes flick over his shoulder before coming back to him, one eyebrow raised in unspoken question. He shakes his head as infinitesimally as possible.</p><p>“Hey,” Lucas greets as he stops at the side of the table, voice dubious.</p><p>“You hear Demaury’s scrubbing in with Millet? Gonna put that appendectomy of yours to shame!” She laughs as though entirely unaware of the mounting tension at the table. To some extent, she probably is. As one of Lucas’s roommates, she must be aware of Lucas’s supreme dislike of Eliott. But it’s as though it doesn’t factor as important enough in her mind to hinder her desired group dynamics. Eliott has to admire Emma’s gregarious nature and ability to get through life assuming everyone will respond in kind.</p><p>“I handled that procedure from cut to stitch. Doubt average will even hold a scalpel.”</p><p>Eliott grinds his teeth together, keeping his eyes locked on Imane. Hers are on Lucas now, narrowing slightly in reaction to his words.</p><p>“Don’t be a jealous bitch now,” Emma laughs. “Sit the fuck down. What are you doing standing there?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, returning her attention to her sandwich.</p><p>There’s one free seat and it’s next to Eliott. The only person at the table who seems unaware of just how uncomfortable this makes the situation is Emma, face deep in ham and cheese. Eliott can feel Lucas’s eyes on the side of his face. He’s still not sitting.</p><p>With an irritated sigh, Eliott turns to look up at him. “Sit down. I’m not going to bite.”</p><p>Lucas smirks. “Too vanilla for that, hunh?” But he’s sitting, tray rattling as he sets it down.</p><p>“Biting’s what you consider racy?” Eliott injects just enough mockery into his tone to see a tell-tale flush rise on Lucas’s cheeks. “Pretty sure that confirms the only <em>vanilla</em> here is you.”</p><p>Lucas rallies quickly, turning in his seat to face Eliott. “Thought about it a lot, have you?” His mouth pulls up in a crooked smile. It’s not sexy at all. It’s <em>not</em>.</p><p>Eliott neither confirms nor denies, shrugging slightly as he turns his body to square off against Lucas. “I always figured you were all talk. Nice to have it confirmed.”</p><p>“To be all talk I would have had to <em>talk</em>. Don’t recall sex ever being a topic of conversation with you.”</p><p>“Yeah? And why is that? Nothing to talk about or nothing <em>worth</em> talking about?”</p><p>“Stop!” Imane’s voice suddenly commands. Eliott’s face immediately heats as he turns back to her, sitting back stiffly in his chair as he watches Lucas do the same out of the corner of his eye. “Idriss might put up with this, but I’m not going to. I’m eating lunch here. If you two want to squabble like idiotic frat boys with something to prove, you can do it somewhere else.”</p><p>There’s a moment of shamed silence before Lucas speaks. “Imane, always a pleasure.” Sarcasm drips from every syllable.</p><p>“Lucas,” she has a way of saying his name as though Lucas is four years old, “wish I could say the same.”</p><p>They sit glaring at one another in total silence until they both break in tandem, laughing like old school friends who just pulled off a prank on the rest of the world.</p><p>“You really have that stern, hot teacher thing down, Bakhellal,” Lucas grins, tossing a fry at her. “Sof’s one lucky man.”</p><p>She wrinkles her nose, picking the fry up off her lap and tossing it back at him. “Stop flirting with me, Lallemant. You know it gets you nowhere. I still think you’re a jackass.”</p><p>“You love my jackass.”</p><p>“I would have murdered your jackass within the first two minutes of meeting you if I hadn’t taken the Hippocratic Oath.”</p><p>“Ugh, I know,” Emma suddenly speaks, looking up from where she’s been pilfering fries from Lucas’s tray. “He’s a total dickhead when you first meet him. Only reason I put up with his ass was because I was dating Yann.”</p><p>Eliott perks up, finding the swing in conversation has restored his appetite. He picks up his fork and happily spears a bite of salad.</p><p>“You didn’t like me because I was Yann’s best friend and didn’t like <em>you</em>,” Lucas scoffs, picking at the burger in front of him.</p><p>“Yeah,” Emma laughs, “because you liked <em>my</em> boyfriend.”</p><p>Eliott freezes with his fork hanging halfway to his mouth. “You liked Yann?” He hadn’t realized he’d spoken the question out loud until Lucas looks to him surprised.</p><p>“No!” Lucas protests before reconsidering, looking uncharacteristically embarrassed. “Or like –” He huffs, turning away from Eliott, his eyes firmly on the food in front of him. “It was a long time ago.”</p><p>“Admit it,” Emma says, reaching across the table to poke at Lucas’s shoulder, “you didn’t start liking me until Yann and I broke up.”</p><p>“I don’t like you now,” Lucas scowls but it only makes Emma laugh, looking delighted. She reaches forward and helps herself to half his burger. The wrinkle between Lucas’s eyebrows deepens but he doesn’t stop her. It’s then Eliott realizes his gaze has remained locked on Lucas’s face. He jerks his eyes away only to catch Imane’s. There’s a quiet, contemplative look in her eyes. Eliott diverts his own back to his salad, shoveling a sizable bit into his mouth.</p><p>“So,” Imane hums, “anyone you have your eyes on, Lallemant?”</p><p>“What?” Lucas sounds shocked. Eliott refuses to look up from his salad, determinedly chewing instead.</p><p>“To slice and dice,” Imane continues and there’s a clear smile in her voice. “I know what you surgeons are like. Freaking vultures waiting for a chance to tear into flesh. Why? What did you think I meant?” Eliott glances up to see the smile isn’t only in her voice, present on her face now too, a tinge too smug to be entirely sincere.</p><p>“Why you asking? Got your eye on my specialty, Bakhellal? Knew you’d get bored of treating skinned knees and sore throats eventually.” Lucas settles back in his seat with a satisfied shuffle, crossing his arms in front of his chest. His half burger remains untouched. Eliott stabs another piece of lettuce.</p><p>“You should be glad I don’t,” Imane scoffs. “Neither of you would stand a chance if I threw my hat in the ring.”</p><p>“You keep telling yourself that.”</p><p>“I’m not the one who needs self-assurance here. Just spitting facts.”</p><p>“<em>Spitting facts</em>. You sound like Idriss.”</p><p>“I don’t know if you heard but we are related.”</p><p>“Is that ri–”</p><p>“You’re not eating,” Eliott speaks over Lucas’s rebuttal. He cringes the moment the words are out. But then they are. There’s no taking them back. He quickly adds, “Just – you haven’t touched your food.”</p><p>Lucas’s nose scrunches in confusion as he turns to look at Eliott. He looks – anyways, Eliott isn’t wrong. There’s no reason for Lucas to look at him like that.</p><p>“Why’d you’d order a salad then?” Lucas asks, looking only mildly annoyed. It’s an improvement from his usual <em>extremely </em>annoyed with Eliott.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, a little confused himself now. How does Lucas not eating have anything to do with Eliott’s salad?</p><p>“If you want it, have it,” Lucas suggests, sliding his plate towards Eliott with a shrug. He turns and picks up a napkin, tearing at it with almost methodical precision.</p><p>“I don’t want your burger,” Eliott replies a little too late. “Why would I want your burger? I’m saying <em>you</em> aren’t eating. I’m fine.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure that salad is really satisfying. Looks like rabbit food.”</p><p>“It’s good. It’s healthy.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, dropping his shredded napkin and reaches to hold the plastic salad bowl instead, tilting it slightly towards himself. “There’s not even chicken or anything.”</p><p>“It’s vegetarian.” Eliott hates that slight pout present in his voice but he can’t help it. “There are beans for protein.”</p><p>“Vegetarian?” Lucas’s eyebrows climb to his forehead, and Eliott isn’t so sure he likes the look in Lucas’s eyes. “Let me guess. You named the chicken and it ended up on your dinner table. You were never the same.”</p><p>Eliott is definitely pouting now. “It was a rabbit.”</p><p>Lucas stares at Eliott, his expression unnervingly blank. “What did you name it?”</p><p>“Fifi.”</p><p>Lucas suddenly laughs. It’s bright and childlike. Genuine. It transforms his entire face. Eliott stares.</p><p>“Uh,” Lucas coughs slightly as his laugh tapers out, turning his face slightly away from Eliott. “Anyways, I ate Yann’s egg sandwich like an hour ago. I’m just not very hungry.”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott can’t think of anything else to say, his brain producing little more than static.</p><p>“Why do you care whether I eat or not anyways?” Lucas turns back to Eliott, a renewed look of annoyance on his face. It’s somehow comforting. “What does it matter to you?”</p><p>“It doesn’t,” Eliott responds defensively – <em>too </em>defensively. “I just –” He struggles to explain himself. How does he explain when he’s not even sure why he cares? “I just don’t understand how you think you’re going to be any competition for me as a surgeon, when you choose total crap to eat and even then, barely eat anything.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes harden. “I take care of my body, if that’s what you mean.” It really, <em>really</em> hadn’t been. “I don’t need to choke on lettuce to prove that. You wanna worry about someone’s stamina, worry about your own.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes narrow, glaring at Lucas’s profile as he turns to face away from Eliott. “I’d rather not think about your stamina, thanks,” he snaps. “And for the record, I’ve never had any complaints.”</p><p>Lucas expels an amused sound through his nose. “Right.”</p><p>“<em>Sooooooo…</em>”</p><p>Eliott turns, a little surprised to see Emma and Imane still sitting across the table.</p><p>“What you’re saying is,” Emma continues, “no one is eating this burger?”</p><p>Lucas laughs, more attempt than actual humour. He slides his plate to Emma. “All yours. I don’t get how the fuck you eat like you do and look like that.”</p><p>She shrugs, reaching happily for the last half of the burger. “I have a lot of sex. Pretty good workout. You should try it.”</p><p>“Fuck off.” Lucas shifts uncomfortably, turning his head further away from Eliott.</p><p>Eliott looks back to Imane. She’s watching him carefully. One perfect eyebrow rises, her eyes flicking quickly to Lucas and back to Eliott. It’s a clear message. <em>You’re fucked. </em></p><p>Eliott sighs, staring down at his now slightly soggy salad. <em>Yeah</em>. He’s fucked.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>The surgery is in OR2. Eliott hadn’t realized it was in OR2, one of two operating rooms with the observation deck above. That in itself wouldn’t necessarily be something that rattled Eliott. He wouldn’t have come out of med school at the top of his class without finding ways to thrive when faced with the stifling pressure of envious eyes on him, just waiting, <em>hoping</em> to see him fuck up. It’s the presence of one Lucas Lallemant sitting up there along with a number of Eliott’s other fellow interns, that has a cold sweat breaking out on the back of Eliott’s neck. Eliott had caught sight of him the moment he’d entered the OR. Happily ensconced between Yann and another intern, he’d been eating from a bag of chips. Because apparently eating a proper meal – however lacking it might have been in nutrition – was beyond him, but a bag of chips he could do.</p><p>Eliott stares at the back of Dr. Millet’s neck. He refuses to look up, refuses to acknowledge the smug smile he knows – he just <em>knows</em> – Lucas is sporting. Eliott doesn’t need to see it for himself. As far as he’s concerned, Lucas isn’t even there. He doesn’t matter. He is an insignificant speck in the landscape that is Eliott’s career as surgeon. An ant on the pathway of Eliott’s life… wait, no. Eliott likes ants. The point is: Lucas isn’t worth acknowledging. And Eliott won’t. He won’t. Eliott looks up.</p><p>Lucas is turned to the intern next to him. Eliott can’t remember the guys name. Joris? Jeremy? Jared? They’re laughing over something. Jérôme leans forward to say something directly into Lucas’s ear. Eliott frowns. It’s not like it’s loud in there. They’re not in a fucking club. There’s no need to be whispering to Lucas like that. Lucas grins, sitting back slightly and offering a chip. He laughs as Jorin grabs the whole bag, shoving his shoulder as he takes it back. Eliott bites the inside of his cheek. They’re behaving like they’re on a goddamn date at the movies. Might as well break out the popcorn and makeout. Yann draws Lucas’s attention away from Johnny, leaning towards him as he points out something in the OR. Too late Eliott realizes Yann is pointing at him. Lucas’s turns and their eyes catch. Eliott jerks his own away. But wait, no. Why should he look away? Eliott isn’t the one behaving so… <em>unprofessionally</em>. He looks back, eyebrows lowered in disapproval as he meets Lucas’s gaze once more. Lucas rolls his eyes and even across the distance, Eliott can see him sigh. Lucas’s eyes widen slightly as if to say, <em>What?! </em></p><p>“Dr. Demaury.”</p><p>Eliott rips his gaze away from Lucas to see Dr. Millet looking back at him. “Yes, doctor?”</p><p>“You have your phone on you?”</p><p>“It’s off,” Eliott responds immediately, though the question has him immediately doubting himself. But he never walks into an OR without his phone on airplane mode.</p><p>Dr. Millet chuckles, motioning towards one of the surgical nurses. “You’re the newbie. That means you get to pick the tunes. Nurse Martin will connect it for you.”</p><p>“Tunes?” Eliott gapes, heart rate picking up. “Oh… I…” He has a sudden urge to look back up towards the other interns, to see if Lucas is watching. It’s as frustrating an urge as it is confusing. “My music isn’t really…” God, how is it he’s totally prepared to watch a human body being cut open but the thought of sharing his music has Eliott wanting to curl up in a ball and die?! “I don’t think it’s right for an OR,” he settles on.</p><p>“Oh, I doubt that,” Dr. Millet laughs. “Bernard’s choice last week was the Backstreet Boys. I’m sure you won’t do worse than that.” He motions towards where the anesthesiologist sits.</p><p>“Please,” Dr. Bernard scoffs. “Everyone loved that. The Backstreet Boys are the best.”</p><p>“Uh, it’s just that, the stuff on my phone is a bit…” He searches for a word that will fully encapsulate just how much they shouldn’t play his music. “Loud. It would be quite distracting.”</p><p>Dr. Millet’s eyebrow arches up. “Well now we need to hear it.” He motions for nurse Martin to take Eliott’s phone. “One song,” he barters. “Then we can turn it back over to the musical stylings of Bernard.”</p><p>“You should be so lucky,” Dr. Bernard grumbles.</p><p>Eliott isn’t about to argue with the doctor who has invited him to scrub in on a complex surgery. “Alright.” He slips off his glove and opens his phone, choosing a song that is likely to be the least startling and hands it over to nurse Martin.</p><p>The moment the music blasts from the speakers at the side of the room, laughter erupts in the observation deck. Eliott refuses to look. He refuses to cower in embarrassment either. His music is just a little… unexpected. He won’t apologize for it.</p><p>“Well,” Dr. Millet smiles, motioning for nurse Martin to turn the volume down to a reasonable level, “that was a surprise.” He looks over at Eliott. “What would you call that?”</p><p>“Dubstep. Or, um, EDM, I guess.”</p><p>“Hmm,” he hums, nodding to himself. “Well, I’m game. Leave it on.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott asks in surprise, uncontrollable smile breaking across his face, no doubt clear even with the impediment of a surgical mask.</p><p>“Absolutely,” Dr. Millet nods, turning back to where Claudine lays prone on the operating table. “One has to be open to trying new things or life becomes quite stagnant.”</p><p>“I think so too!” Eliott enthuses. While Eliott has always thought Millet was handsome with his chiseled jaw and striking features, he’s ten times as attractive now. Eliott knows he’s happily married of course. He doesn’t mean it like <em>that</em>. He’s just feeling very appreciative of the fact that Millet is not only physically attractive, but kind and generous as well. Eliott could only hope to become the same sort of surgeon.</p><p>“Alright then,” Millet gestures over his shoulder for Eliott, “come up here and let’s get you to work.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott exclaims before silently berating himself for the childish surprise in his voice.</p><p>“Sure. Didn’t invite you here to be a pretty face. That’s Bernard’s job.” The other man, at least twenty years Eliott's senior, combs a hand through his sparse hair with one hand, raising a middle finger with his other while Millet laughs. He nods at Eliott where he’s come to stand beside him. “Today you’re earning your keep. Think you can handle that?”</p><p>Eliott bites his lip, assured that no one can see the nervous tick behind his surgical mask. His eyes drift unwittingly back to the observation deck. Lucas is looking back. It sparks a fire deep in Eliott’s chest. He’s never been so determined. He smiles, turning his gaze back to Millet.</p><p>“Absolutely.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>It’s a high. A high unlike anything Eliott’s ever experienced. Because he’s in control. It’s not the result of mind-altering substances, he’s not drunk, and it’s not a result of his brain veering to a place where he will have <em>no </em>control, this is not a symptom Eliott should be concerned about. No, instead he gets to enjoy this. Every bit of it. And he’d suspected of course. That the thrill of surgery would be like this. He wouldn’t have suffered through med school otherwise. But having it confirmed – <em>knowing </em>that Eliott can help people like this, with his own two hands, has happiness coursing through his veins as he walks to the locker room at the end of shift.</p><p>Well… <em>technically</em> end of shift. He has no intentions of leaving Claudine’s care post-op to anyone else. But after a long shift and working up more than a little sweat during surgery, a quick shower and change is most definitely needed. Eliott’s phone buzzes in his pocket and he smiles as he looks down at the notifications.</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>Emma is leaving the locker room just as Eliott walks towards the door.</p><p>She grins. “Not bad, hotshot.” She doesn’t stop her forward momentum, offering a fist bump as she passes.</p><p>He smiles, returning the gesture with a proud, “Thanks.”</p><p>There are voices speaking when Eliott enters the locker room. On the opposite side from his own locker, and with his thoughts a blur of surgery recollection, he doesn’t initially realize who they are. That is until he <em>does</em>, and he freezes where he stands, holding the door to his locker open. It’s Lucas and Yann.</p><p>“You should go. It’s just dinner,” Yann is saying.</p><p>Lucas sighs deeply, clear even across the space of the locker room. “No. I’m not into him. I told you.”</p><p>Him? Who him? There’s a … <em>him</em> asking Lucas out to dinner?</p><p>“You don’t need to be into him to fuck him.”</p><p>“Jesus, Cazas. That’s cold.”</p><p>“What?” Yann laughs. “You need to get laid. The guy’s hardly a troll. Get dinner. Get fucked. Stop being such a bitch at home.”</p><p>Lucas laughs but his, “Fuck you!” does carry a beat of genuine offense. “It’s not that. I could seriously use a good fuck,” he continues with a groan. Goosebumps rise on Eliott’s skin and he swallows heavily as he listens, barely breathing. “But it’s too complicated. Working together. Sleeping together. It’ll get fucked up. And I can’t fuck up here.”</p><p>“So be clear about expectations.” A locker slams shut. They’re likely leaving soon. They’ll have to walk by Eliott to do so. He reaches for the bottom of his scrubs, stripping himself of the shirt as quietly as possible. “We’re gonna be living and breathing this place for the next five years <em>at least</em>. Who else do you think you’re gonna be hooking up with?” Eliott freezes as he reaches into his locker for his shower bag, holding his breath as he listens for Lucas’s answer. It comes after a delay.</p><p>“That your way of saying you’ve set your eyes on someone, Cazas?”</p><p>Eliott exhales as they both laugh.</p><p>“Nah,” Yann denies. “But I’m not gonna be turning down any chances either.”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t know,” Lucas sighs. “I’ll think about it.”</p><p>“Overthink, you mean.”</p><p>They’re moving now, their voices coming closer. Eliott reaches quickly for his shower bag, opening it and staring at the contents as though doing so will allow him to disappear entirely.</p><p>“<em>What the fuck?!</em>”</p><p>Eliott swings around at the sound of Lucas’s voice behind him, standing at the end of the row of lockers. Eliott notes he’s still wearing his scrubs, while Yann appears to have changed. Lucas’s eyes drop to Eliott’s bare chest, catching on the tattoo on Eliott’s pec, before darting back up, cheeks immediately flushing with colour.</p><p>“How fucking long have you been there?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, dropping his bag onto the bench and propping his hands on his hips. “Not long.”</p><p>“And you what – thought you’d stay and listen to a private conversation?” Lucas matches his stance, hands moving to his own hips, looking stern and –</p><p>“It’s a locker room,” Eliott points out, unimpressed. “If you want your conversation to be private, have it in a private place.”</p><p>“Guys,” Yann tries, “it doesn’t matter. Lu, let’s just g–”</p><p>“You seriously don’t get how fucking creepy you’re being?” Lucas accuses, eyebrows raised with his outrage. “Sneaking in here and listening to me talk about –” He stops himself before he finishes, eyes cutting down and to the side.</p><p>“Who?” Eliott has to ask, the impulse too much to smother.</p><p>“What?” Lucas looks back up at him, looking genuinely confused.</p><p>“Who were you talking about?” Oddly his breath is coming quicker than it should, his chest rising and falling as he struggles to slow his heart rate.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes fall to his chest before darting away once more. “What do you care?”</p><p>“I don’t.”</p><p>“Oh, no? So, you didn’t just ask me who I’m dating?”</p><p>“Dating?” Eliott scoffs before he can think better of it.</p><p>“Yes.” Lucas’s eyes move back to him, narrowed with irritation. “Dating. Someone wants to <em>date</em> me.”</p><p>“Jeremy.” They both whip their attention to Yann. He shrugs, looking at Lucas. “What? He does. Now can we get the fuck out of here?”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth has dropped open. He looks at Eliott before his eyes go back to Yann and then away. “Fuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head as he presses a hand to his forehead as though he’s suddenly been struck by a monumental migraine. “<em>Fuck</em>,” he repeats once more with feeling. And then he’s pushing by Yann and out of locker room.</p><p>Yann exhales deeply. “I’m gonna pay for that.” He glances at Eliott. “Later.” Eliott nods, watching as Yann disappears out the locker room door.</p><p>Jeremy. <em>Fucking Jeremy</em>.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott will admit he should probably go home. He’s struggling to keep his eyes open where he sits slumped in a chair next to Claudine’s bed. Her vitals are stable. Idriss – at Eliott’s request – will be the one monitoring Claudine at least through the night. He’d been by only a half hour prior and while Claudine’s temperature was slightly elevated, it wasn’t of major concern. Surgery took a toll on the body. And Eliott needs to get some rest before his next shift. Something keeps him glued to his seat. Despite his best intentions however he can’t help the way his blinks lengthen, eyelids heavy and breath slow. He’s jerked from the verge of sleep by Lucas’s voice.</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>Eliott quickly pushes himself to a more upright position, blinking rapidly to clear his eyes as he looks at Lucas.</p><p>“I –” It’s little more than a rough, throaty sound. He clears his throat and tries again. “I’m monitoring Claudine.”</p><p>“Monitoring?” Lucas’s eyebrow quirks. “Looks more like you were napping with her.”</p><p>Eliott scowls. “She’s not <em>napping</em>. She’s in post-op. Proper monitoring right now is critical.”</p><p>“And you’re going to do that, are you?” Lucas moves towards the bed, grabbing Claudine’s chart and scanning it. “So tired after a full shift you can barely keep your eyes open?”</p><p>“I’m not on shift,” Eliott admits, turning to look at Claudine’s placid face. “Idriss is working night shift. He’s going to look after her.”</p><p>“So, go home.” Lucas’s eyes are on him when Eliott turns to meet them, and while his words were abrupt, if not a little rude, there’s an unexpectedly gentle quality to the way he’s looking at Eliott. He moves to place the chart back, gaze trailing away from Eliott for a moment before finding its way back. “You need to rest. You’ll be no good to her or anyone else tomorrow if you don’t go home and get some sleep.”</p><p>He’s right but then, Lucas also worked a full shift and is currently standing before Eliott in scrubs. “Why are you still here?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, looking towards Claudine as he answers. “Had some things I needed to finish up. Didn’t want to leave them ‘til tomorrow.”</p><p>“Let someone on the night shift handle it.”</p><p>“No.” Lucas shakes his head, looking back to Eliott. “It’s my responsibility. I’ll leave when I’m done.” He breaks their gaze, eyes flicking about the room as though looking for something else to focus on.</p><p>It’s not a sentiment Eliott can mock or criticize. Lucas says it simply. Honestly. There are obvious bags beneath his eyes, and his hair has fallen from it’s usually tangle atop his head, softly down, swept across his forehead. His shoulders are slumped, caved slightly inward. It’s as though exhaustion has made him smaller. It’s easy to forget. That Lucas <em>is</em> smaller. To Eliott he always seems larger than life.</p><p>“You should get some rest too,” Eliott finally speaks, careful to make it sound like a gentle suggestion. “You don’t look so hot.”</p><p>Lucas exhales a laugh, eyes moving to Eliott and away. “Thanks so much. That’s an ego boost.”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head quickly in protest. “I didn’t – I mean you always look –” Hot. He nearly says it. The word on the tip of his tongue. Fuck. He really is far too exhausted to be here. He’s not thinking straight. <em>Straight</em>. Something like a hysterical laugh bubbles in Eliott’s throat. Lucas is watching him curiously now, his eyes attentive and peaked with interest. Eliott coughs. “You’re right. I’m too tired to be here.” He looks back to Claudine, reaching forward to rest his hand gently on top of hers. “I just wish I didn’t have to leave her alone.”</p><p>“She won’t be alone,” Lucas says, drawing Eliott’s attention back to him. “You said yourself Idriss is monitoring her. You can trust him.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a sigh, moving to stand next to Claudine’s bed. “I know. But she doesn’t have any family here.”</p><p>“You get too attached. She’s a patient.”</p><p>Ah. There’s the Lucas Eliott expects. He’d wondered where he’d gone. Eliott sighs. He’s far too tired to throw himself into their usual argument cycle.</p><p>“I can be compassionate and be a surgeon.”</p><p>“I didn’t say otherwise.” Lucas’s posture straightens. He’s readying himself for a fight but Eliott won’t be baited. “But some emotional detachment is necessary to do our jobs. At least to do them well. You being this attached to Clau – Mrs. Lemieux, doesn’t serve her best.”</p><p>“Fine.” Eliott reaches for his jacket on the back of the chair. He pauses next to Claudine, reaching to squeeze her hand before releasing it with a gentle caress.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>When Eliott looks back to Lucas it’s as he expected. Lucas looks confused and slightly dejected. He’s disappointed by Eliott’s refusal to engage in their customary round of bitter disagreement.</p><p>“I’m tired,” Eliott admits with a shake of his head, walking towards Lucas until he can stop an arm length in front of him. “I don’t want to argue with you. I’m gonna go. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He waits a beat but when Lucas doesn’t say anything, Eliott moves around him.</p><p>“Eliott,” comes Lucas’s voice, soft and uncertain, just as Eliott reaches the door. He pauses and turns to see Lucas looking back, mouth open as though caught mid-word. His brow furrows, his eyes dropping to the ground for a moment. He shakes his head, looking back up. “Never mind. Get some rest. You’re no competition like this.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott can’t muster any enthusiasm, voice flat and devoid of emotion. “You too.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Idriss catches Eliott just before pre-rounds as he’s making his way to Claudine’s room the following morning. Eliott had made sure to arrive to arrive early. His intention being to check in with Claudine prior to Mika assigning the days duties.</p><p>“Eli, hold up,” Idriss calls out just as Eliott’s passes the nurse’s station.</p><p>Eliott pauses, turning back to greet him in surprise. “Hey, what are you still doing here? You were off hours ago.”</p><p>“Yeah, so,” there’s an aura of exhaustion surrounding Idriss, the need for sleep pressing heavily on his eyes, “don’t freak out.” Well that is just asking for Eliott to freak out.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, adrenaline immediately kicking in as his brain scans for all scenarios that would begin with Idriss saying such a thing. “What’s going on?” Oh god. <em>Oh no</em>. “Is it Claudine? Did something happen?” He makes a move to continue down the hall towards her room but Idriss grabs his arm before he can do so.</p><p>“She’s fine. Calm down. Or – at least she’s fine <em>now</em>.” Idriss’s free hand is raised in supplication, his tone soothing but it does nothing to calm the racing of Eliott’s heart.</p><p>Eliott takes a deep breath, keeping his voice controlled but the demand clear. “What happened?”</p><p>“Her fever didn’t break and when she came round, she appeared to be experiencing shortness of breath.” Eliott’s own breath catches in his throat and Idriss’s rushes through the rest of his explanation. “Yes, we were concerned she was developing post-op pneumonia,” he says, obviously having picked up on Eliott’s train of thought. “We monitored her closely all night. I promise, Eli. Her fever broke a few hours ago and she responded well to treatment, ok? She’s fine. Just a little groggier than she normally would be at this point. We don’t think it’s pneumonia, alright?”</p><p>“We.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You keep saying ‘we’,” Eliott points out. “Who was the attending?”</p><p>“Oh, uh, Dr. Moreau.” Idriss’s eyes shift. He looks nervous. “That’s not who I meant though.” He hesitates, and then, “I meant Lucas.”</p><p>“What? What do you mean Lucas?” Nothing is making sense. Eliott swears he got a good, if a bit restless, sleep last night. And yet it feels as though he’s stuck in some dream state where things are familiar but not quite right.</p><p>“Don’t even start your bullshit, alright. I’m way too tired for it.” Idriss points a threatening finger in Eliott’s face. “He really helped me out. He barely left her side all night.” He slumps back against the edge of the nurse’s station counter.</p><p>“But –” Eliott doesn’t even know where to begin. “He was off shift. He was about to leave when I did. I don’t understand.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss agrees. “He said he went to check on Mrs. Lemieux before he left. He’s the one who noticed the change in oxygen levels. Honestly it was a busy night and –” Idriss shrugs, exhaling heavily. “He really saved my ass.”</p><p>And Eliott is glad to hear it. Glad Idriss had the help and glad Claudine is going to be ok. But none of Idriss’s explanation particularly clears things up for Eliott. “But… why didn’t you call me?”</p><p>“Eliott,” Idriss releases a small sound of irritation, “you’d already left. He was here. Don’t make me feel bad about this.”</p><p>“I’m not, I’m not,” Eliott rushes to assure. “I just don’t understand why he did it.”</p><p>“What do you mean? He’s a doctor. She’s a patient. It’s quite literally his job.”</p><p>“But he was off shift too,” Eliott protests. “There were other doctors who could have handled it.”</p><p>“Are you seriously about to be pissed just because it was Lucas?” Idriss raises one eyebrow, obviously unimpressed by Eliott’s attitude.</p><p>“No,” Eliott sighs, frustrated. “It’s just that he didn’t have to do it. What does he get out of it?”</p><p>“Man, you really don’t think a lot of him, hunh?”</p><p>“Honestly? Why would I?” Eliott challenges. “The Lucas Lallemant I know isn’t more than his ego. He doesn’t do something for nothing. You remember a couple weeks back when he told me Dr. Charette was performing a craniotomy in OR2?” Eliott had been surprised when Lucas had mentioned it to him. They weren’t exactly known for sharing hospital tidbits with one another. Eliott hadn’t questioned it, however. Rushing to what ended up being an empty observation deck and OR. He’d only realized later Lucas had done so in the interest of stealing one of the lab results Eliott had been tasked with delivering. A cancerous tumor. Only Lucas would salivate at the opportunity to tell someone they had cancer, Eliott remembers with no small amount of disgust. Lucas had wanted in on the future surgery. He hadn’t been successful in his ploy. But the entire thing had left Eliott feeling a lot clearer on Lucas’s motives. “He always has an angle,” Eliott continues. “This though – it just doesn’t make sense. Does he want credit?”</p><p>“Credit for what?” Idriss dismisses with an irritated wave of the hand. “She’s post-op. There’s no credit or surgery to be had.” Eliott is inclined to agree.</p><p>“Then what?” A terrible thought occurs to Eliott. “Shit. He did it so he can lord it over me, didn’t he? That he was here, and I wasn’t. God.” He shakes his head with a groan. “I can’t believe I didn’t see that. He’s not going to let me live it down.”</p><p>“Eli,” Idriss interrupts his ever-darkening ruminations, “don’t take this the wrong way, but you’re being an asshole.”</p><p>Eliott gapes. “How else am I supposed to take that?”</p><p>“Whatever,” Idriss sighs, “I’m too tired for this shit. I’m leaving. But for the record, Lucas didn’t want you to know he helped at all.”</p><p>“What? Wait, Idriss, what?” Eliott grabs Idriss’s arm, pulling him back where he’d turned and begun grabbing his things. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Idriss nods. “Told me not to say anything to you. Said it wasn’t official anyways ‘cause she was your patient. He made me swear it actually. But I don’t know,” he shrugs, “I thought you should know anyways. Thought maybe it would…” He shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter. Do me a solid and don’t tell him I told you, yeah?”</p><p>Eliott wishes he could promise that but… “He’s going to know.” Even if Eliott tried to abide by Idriss’s wishes – and he’s not so sure he wants to – they both know where Lucas is concerned, whatever tenuous grasp Eliott has on restraint becomes nonexistent.</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss agrees with a sigh. “Fuck. Whatever. You two figure it out. I’m going home to sleep for a year.”</p><p>“Ok. And hey,” he reaches for Idriss’s bicep, “thank you. Sorry, I don’t think I even said that. But thank you. I owe you. Really.”</p><p>Idriss nods, offering a wave over his shoulder as he leaves. Eliott stares after him, mind racing. Why did Lucas help? Eliott still doesn’t understand. He clearly harbours no attachment to Claudine. He’d made that very clear after chastising Eliott for that very thing. Eliott can’t imagine what he is getting out of such a seemingly altruistic act. But maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s that simple. Maybe he wanted to do a good thing. For no other reason than it was the right thing to do. It’s a more generous reading of Lucas’s actions than Eliott would ever normally allow but then… how else is he supposed to interpret this situation? Whatever the reason however, Eliott owes Lucas a thank you. A thank you Lucas will never accept. Eliott might not always understand Lucas but he knows him well enough to be sure of that.</p><p>He’s so lost in thought he doesn’t notice Mika until he’s snapping fingers in front of Eliott’s face.</p><p>“There he is,” Mika laughs when Eliott jumps to attention. “What’s got you looking like someone pooped in your porridge?”</p><p>Eliott chokes on a laugh. “There’s a visual.”</p><p>Mika smiles. “I have a way with words, what can I say. So? Share with papa.” Eliott cringes and Mika immediately shares his grimace. “Ugh. Yeah. Scratch that. I wouldn’t say no to a daddy but I’m not about to be yours.”</p><p>Eliott wrinkles his nose in disgust, a slightly hysterical giggle escaping. “You made it worse. You get that you made it worse, right?”</p><p>Mika shrugs with a laugh, looking unconcerned. “Like you expect any less of me. Really though,” with an obvious effort, he adopts a more serious expression, “everything alright? You can come to me with problems, you know. Work-related or otherwise. That’s what I’m here for.”</p><p>“Wow. That actually sounded sincere,” Eliott says, smiling a little.</p><p>“Right?” Mika grins, puffing out his chest slightly. “Been working on that.”</p><p>“Mika,” Eliott sighs, finding himself suddenly inclined to take him up on the offer, “why do you like Lucas?” It comes out less like the accusation it could have but it’s abrupt and maybe a little inappropriate, nevertheless. But Eliott needs to know.</p><p>Mika laughs, looking slightly shocked. “Uh, what exactly are you implying? Because he’s cute and all but being gay doesn’t mean –”</p><p>“No,” Eliott quickly interrupts. “I just meant…” He trails off. Explaining himself suddenly feels like a monumental task.</p><p>Mika squints, nodding slightly. “He and I have a lot in common.”</p><p>“Because you’re both gay?”</p><p>“Oh, ok,” Mika laughs. “We’re more than our sexuality, you know.”</p><p>“I’m sorry – I didn’t mean –” Eliott stutters, horrified by his own lack of tact.</p><p>“It’s fine,” he dismisses with an easy smile, “I know you didn’t. And honestly, yeah, that’s part of it. Surgery is a little like…” His eyes drift from Eliott as he searches for a metaphor that will fit, “sport.”</p><p>“Sport?”</p><p>“Yes,” Mika nods, satisfied with what he’s settled on. “We’re supposed to be jocks. Act a certain way, look a certain way, fit the mold. In many ways, being gay strips me of the chance to do that – be that.”</p><p>“Sexuality is invisible though. It’s not like you wear it on your skin.”</p><p>“No, perhaps not. But it’s not invisible. Not for some of us. Not the way you’d think.” He smiles kindly. “I was athletic as a kid, you know?” Eliott nods despite the fact that he of course never knew Mika as a child. “And I was on a few sports teams. I loved it. But I was flamboyant and loud. I liked the way the other boys looked in their jerseys a little <em>too much</em>. And one day I decided I wanted to hold boys’ hands and have it mean something.”</p><p>“What happened?” Eliott asks quietly.</p><p>“About what you’d expect.” Mika doesn’t say it with deep melancholy. There’s calm resignation in the words he speaks. “It was tough. But,” he shrugs, glancing around at their sterile hospital surroundings, “no one was going to decide where I belonged but me. There’s no one way to handle it though. Being who I am in this world of jocks. I’ve made one choice. Lucas has made another.”</p><p>“But Lucas doesn’t hide his sexuality.”</p><p>“No. He doesn’t. But he’s careful about what he does share. How much of himself he shares. What he allows people to see.” Mika looks at Eliott speculatively. “But it’s not fair of me to talk about him like this. All I mean is that,” he shakes his head, “he doesn’t share everything with you, Eliott. That’s his right, and choice.”</p><p>“I know, I don’t – I’m not hoping he will.” Eliott rakes a hand through his hair, frustrated.</p><p>“Sure.” Mika doesn’t look convinced.</p><p>“You didn’t answer my question,” Eliott points out.</p><p>“There’s a lot to like about him.” </p><p>“Thanks, that clears things up.”</p><p>Mika laughs. “I’m saying, I know him better than you.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “Because he shares with you?”</p><p>“Sometimes.” Mika purses his lips as he thinks. “Shares or doesn’t hold back. Give him a chance and you might end up feeling the same.”</p><p>“This isn’t about me giving him a chance,” Eliott replies with building frustration. “It’s not like he’d ever allow it. You see how he is with me.”</p><p>“Yes.” Mika smiles, one eyebrow rising. “And you with him. Takes two to tango.”</p><p>“We’re not <em>tangoing</em>,” Eliott dismisses with an eye roll.</p><p>“You sure about that?” Mika’s smile looks a lot more like a smirk now. “I always wanted to know how to tango. Sexy dance that.”</p><p>“It’s not sexy! We’re not –” The look of amusement on Mika’s face is enough to cut Eliott’s words short. “You’re an asshole. That’s why you two get along. Two peas in a pod.”</p><p>Mika laughs, before looking over Eliott’s shoulder and calling happily, “Yann! Another early bird. I’m feeling quite flattered I must say. You two showing up early just to spend time with me.”</p><p>Yann chuckles, coming to stand next to Eliott. “Wish I could take credit. Was all that idiot roommate of mine. Wanted to get here early. Pretty sure Emma’s going to murder him for dragging us out of bed before we needed to be.”</p><p>“Lucas?” Eliott asks before he can think better of it.</p><p>“Yeah,” Yann confirms before yawning widely.</p><p>“But…” Eliott glances quickly towards Mika only to see the other man looking back, looking far too smug for Eliott’s liking. He continues anyways, “He’s here for pre-rounds?” It’s a stupid question. The look Yann gives him clearly confirms as much.</p><p>“Yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t he be?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, cutting his eyes away from Yann as he thinks. Maybe Lucas didn’t tell Yann he’d been at the hospital quite literally all night? But surely as his roommate, Yann would have noticed his absence. Lucas couldn’t have gotten more than a couple hours of sleep.  </p><p>“Never mind.” Eliott looks back to Mika. “Do I have time to go grab a coffee?”</p><p>“There’s some at the nurse’s station,” Mika points out, his gaze calculating.</p><p>“That stuff’s crap.” Eliott adopts his most pleading look. “I’ll just run to the café on the corner. I’ll be right back, I promise.” It’s an outright lie. There’s always a line a mile long at the café on the corner, being the only café near the hospital with coffee that doesn’t have an after taste that resembles something like tar. They both clearly know this, but Mika waves a hand in dismissal anyways.</p><p>“Just go. Don’t use those pretty eyes on me. But hurry. Catch up with us when you’re back.”</p><p>Eliott nods and rushes away. It’s a foolhardy plan. Lucas is unlikely to accept anything from Eliott without a good dose of suspicion. But the fact of the matter remains: Lucas is going to be coming in to shift beyond exhausted… because he was up all night looking after Eliott’s patient. And while Eliott isn’t about to kid himself in thinking it had anything to do with <em>him</em>, the least he can do is make a peace offering in the form of quality coffee.</p><p>The benefits of a long line up are that Eliott has enough time to devote to the challenging task of deciding <em>what</em> to order Lucas. It’s not like they spend time with one another outside of work. Eliott has no idea how Lucas likes his coffee. Is he a triple espresso man like Idriss? Or does he prefer a no-nonsense black coffee like Imane? Or perhaps something in the middle? A latte like Sofiane? But then there are options like cappuccino or iced coffees, and people like Lucille who changes her order every time they go for coffee.</p><p>He scans the board, anxiety peaking, until his eyes land on the special. A Turtle Latte. It sounds mildly disgusting to Eliott. A couple shots of espresso, milk, homemade chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, <em>and </em>macadamia nut syrup. All topped with whipped cream, caramel chunks, and a drizzle of chocolate. Likely a month's recommended sugar intake in one drink. Eliott’s teeth ache thinking of how sweet it would be. Somehow, he knows that is it. It’s perfect.</p><p>By the time he makes it back, everyone has already dispersed, having been assigned their tasks for the day. Mika stands at the nurse’s station winking at a laughing Daphne.</p><p>“He’s down with Mrs. Lemieux,” Mika says before Eliott gets a word out.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Mika looks at him, glancing down at the coffee cup he holds before rolling his eyes. “Lucas. He’s with Mrs. Lemieux.”</p><p>Eliott opens his mouth to protest, but Mika is already turning away, asking Daphne where she finds her scrubs – purple with cats all over them. Eliott sighs, knowing in this particular battle to save face, he’s already lost. He makes his way down the hall towards Claudine’s room, feeling abruptly guilty he’d been so derailed in his original task of the day to check on her. But then, it’s probably best Lucas does so first, having handled her care through the night.</p><p>He runs into Lucas just as he gets to Claudine’s room. Unfortunately, Eliott means that literally. Lucas is exiting the room just as Eliott moves to enter and there is no time to stop the impact. The lid of the coffee pops off as Eliott unintentionally squeezes it, splashing scalding hot coffee onto his hand and the front of Lucas’s scrubs.</p><p>“What the –”</p><p>“Fuck!” Eliott cries out, quickly switching the cup to his other hand and shaking the coffee off his now scalded hand. “Shit, shit, shit.”</p><p>“Yeah. I’ll say.” Lucas plucks at the front of his scrubs and Eliott is horrified to realize it’s not just coffee that has splashed onto them, but a bit of whipped cream and chocolate sauce – forming a stain a little more impressive than mere coffee would have produced.</p><p>“Oh fuck. I’m –”</p><p>“What were you doing barreling in here like that?” Lucas interrupts, eyebrows dropped with irritation. His eyes drop to the coffee in Eliott’s hands. “Are you seriously late because you were getting coffee?”</p><p>“Well, yes, but –”</p><p>“You’re always on my ass any time I’m late.”</p><p>“I’m not on your ass –”</p><p>“But when <em>you</em> want to be late, so you won’t miss out on your morning frap or whatever-the-fuck, then exceptions are made, right?”</p><p>“You don’t understand, I –”</p><p>“Whatever,” Lucas interrupts, beginning to move around Eliott. “I gotta go change now. Thanks for that.”</p><p>“Wait! Fuck!” Eliott expels in exasperation, turning with him. “You are so frustrating. Would you just shut up for one fucking second!”</p><p>Lucas stops, mouth dropped open and eyebrows shot up in surprise. He snaps his mouth shut, crossing his arms against his chest. With a slight shrug he huffs, “Fine. What?”</p><p>“It’s for you.” Eliott holds the cup out in front of him. He glares, finding that in his frustration, he doesn’t much care how Lucas receives the drink anymore.</p><p>Lucas’s arms drop to his sides. “What?” He stares down at the coffee as though it’s grown arms.</p><p>“Just take it,” Eliott sighs. “It’s already burned me. I don’t want to see it anymore.”</p><p>“Don’t blame the coffee for your inability to look where you’re going.”</p><p>“You were the one who –” But Eliott’s protests are cut off by the sight of Lucas reaching forward to take the cup. His fingertips slightly trail over Eliott’s skin as he takes hold of it, pulling it back towards himself. He’s staring down at it curiously and there’s a tiny hint of a smile at the corner of his lip and a flush of pink sits high on the apples of his cheeks. Eliott snaps his mouth shut.</p><p>“Thank you, but…” His eyes move to Eliott’s, “why?” Eliott shrugs watching as Lucas brings the cup to his mouth, taking a tentative sip before pulling it back, smile growing. “Shit. That’s really good.” There’s a tiny speck of whipped cream sitting on the bow of his upper lip.</p><p>“Yeah, it’s,” Eliott clears his throat, “some disgustingly sweet, unhealthy concoction. Figured you’d like it.”</p><p>A slight crease appears between Lucas’s eyebrows. “Did you lose a bet or something?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks confused, before he follows the trail of Lucas’s thoughts. “No. I just – figured you’d be tired today.”</p><p>Lucas’s smile drops as does his gaze. He makes a sound of dark humour – less like true amusement than as though he were laughing at himself. “Idriss told you.”</p><p>“Oh, well,” Eliott could lie but finds he doesn’t quite want to, “yes. And I just wanted to say thank you.”</p><p>“Right.” Lucas nods to himself. “It’s a thank you.” His eyes move back to Eliott, his expression – not somber but not happy either. It’s… business-like. Professional. “It’s my job. You don’t have to thank me.”</p><p>“Well,” Eliott feels thrown suddenly off balance, as though he’d been walking a tightrope that’s suddenly been given more slack, “even so, thank you.”</p><p>“Yeah. Whatever. You’re welcome.” Lucas glances around them, no longer meeting Eliott’s eyes. “Anyways, I have things to do so if that’s it…” It’s like a veil has been thrown over Lucas – as though Eliott was seeing him clearly but the view is suddenly obscured, like he’s no longer totally present.</p><p>“Sure. Of course. I didn’t mean to keep you.”</p><p>Lucas nods and turns without meeting Eliott’s eyes to move down the hallway at a brisk pace. Eliott stares after him in confusion. Did that go well or terribly? He’s not even sure. When Eliott turns it’s to the sight of Claudine staring at him, one delicate eyebrow raised.</p><p>He groans, entering her room with a, “Don’t even start.”</p><p>“I wouldn’t dare.” Here voice is fragile but ripe with humour. “I must say, I did expect you to be better at flirting. With those looks of yours, however, perhaps I shouldn’t be surprised.”</p><p>Eliott stares at her from the end of her bed, mouth dropped open. “I wasn’t flirting! I was thanking him for taking care of <em>you!” </em></p><p>“Don’t you use that tone with me, young man.” She raises a finger to wag at him. “I didn’t ask to have such a terrible night.”</p><p>Eliott feels his face drain of colour. “Of course.” He rushes around to the side of the bed to take her hand. “Of course, you didn’t. I never meant to –” He stops at the sight of her smile, exhaling heavily. “That was mean.”</p><p>She releases something like a laugh, weak and frail, but there. “You’re far too easy, darling.”</p><p>He rolls his eyes. “How are you doing?”</p><p>“You’re the doctor, shouldn’t you be telling me?”</p><p>He offers an impression of a glare and moves to grab her chart. “You’d think surgery would have somewhat dampened that spunk of yours.”</p><p>“How could it?” She tuts. “When I had your Lucas taking such good care of me.”</p><p>“Lucas? You’re on a first name basis now?”</p><p>“He’s not so sure, but I’ve decided we’re on a first name basis.” She smiles when Eliott laughs.</p><p>“And he’s not <em>my</em> anything.”</p><p>“Well sure,” she agrees, throwing in a quick wink. “Not yet.”</p><p>He sighs. “You’re a troublemaker.”</p><p>“Yes.” She pauses, the mischief in her watery blue eyes reminding him markedly of someone else. “It would seem, you like us like that.”</p><p>He shakes his head, smiling despite himself. “I need to go do rounds – that is if Mika hasn’t put me on lab duty by now. I’ll come back and check on you later, ok?”</p><p>“Sure.” Her smile widens. “And do bring Lucas when you visit, won’t you? Such a lovely boy he is.”</p><p>“Trouble,” Eliott laughs as he turns to go. “You’re going to be trouble, Claudine.”</p><p>“My husband always said so,” she calls after him.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott had thought… well, he isn’t entirely sure what he’d thought. Maybe that Lucas would be pleased by Eliott’s gesture. Perhaps even extend a little bit of kindness back. Or if not kindness – at the very least, courtesy. He’d thought…</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, frustrated with himself. The least they should be able to do is work together. Instead, when Mika had asked them both to check on a patient who had responded poorly to anesthesia, Lucas had scoffed, <em>“I can handle that without average chatting up the patient. I do have other things to get done before end of shift.” </em></p><p>And sure, Eliott knew Mika assigning them both to what was a fairly simple task was a ploy to force them to work together. But it wasn’t Lucas’s place to reject such a request, nor did he have the authority to do so. Eliott thought maybe they could get beyond this – that maybe they <em>were </em>beyond this. Ridiculous. Like some latte from the corner café contained magic coffee beans capable of humanizing The Ego.</p><p>Eliott’s just… frustrated. Lucas has been avoiding him all day. He’d nearly sprinted from the cafeteria when Eliott had approached the table he’d been sharing with Yann and Alex at lunch. And later, when he’d seen Lucas talking to Idriss and thought it the perfect opportunity to discuss Claudine – to get to the bottom of <em>why</em> Lucas had taken care of her – he’d barely gotten a meter from Lucas before the other boy was rushing off in the opposite direction. Eliott didn’t understand it. He and Lucas may not particularly get along, but Lucas never backed away from an opportunity to face-off with Eliott. In point of fact, Eliott was fairly sure telling him off was one of Lucas’s favourite pastimes. And yet, here he was. Staring after Lucas for the third time today.</p><p>“Demaury,” Mika begins.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Eliott assures with a wave of the hand. “I’m going.”</p><p>By the time Eliott reaches the patient’s room, Lucas is already inside, standing at the end of the young woman’s bed, reading her chart. Eliott takes a deep breath, calling on every reserve of patience and reminding himself sternly that he believes in kindness above all else, before he enters.</p><p>“Oh my god.” It’s the young woman who’s spoken, eyes wide as she stares at Eliott.</p><p>“Hello,” Eliott greets, smiling though he’s admittedly a little confused by the horrified look on her face. He comes to stand next to Lucas. “I’m Dr. Demaury. I assume Dr. Lallemant has already explained that the symptoms you’re experiencing are likely a response to the anesthesia? We’re going to help manage that so we can get you discharged.”</p><p>“<em>Noooo</em>,” she moans unhappily, pressing hands to her face as she slumps further down into the bed.</p><p>“No?” Eliott asks confusedly turning towards Lucas.</p><p>“Of course, I did,” Lucas responds, immediately offended.</p><p>“No, no, no,” the young woman continues, hands moving from her face to her hair, where she ineffectually pulls them through the tangled locks. “I look like crap. You cannot be my doctors.”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Eliott glances at Lucas to see he too looks confused by this odd turn of events.</p><p>“Am I still asleep? Please tell me I’m still asleep.” She stares between the two of them, eyes wide and a little frenzied. “This cannot be happening. Why are you so young?”</p><p>“We’re not that young –” Lucas begins but she cuts him off.</p><p>“And hot?! Doctors are only supposed to be this hot on TV!”</p><p>A slight laugh escapes Lucas. Eliott looks to him surprised. Lucas meets his eyes, genuine amusement reflected back and Eliott finds himself smiling in return.</p><p>“Oh god, I cannot be sick in front of two total hotties. This is like spring break all over again.”</p><p>“Are you feeling sick right now?” Lucas asks, face transforming with concern as he moves around to the side of the bed. Eliott follows suit.</p><p>“Oh god,” she whines, eyes wide, “it’s even worse up close. What the fuck? Are you models?”</p><p>Lucas snorts, glancing quickly back at Eliott. “He is.”</p><p>“Lucas…” Eliott warns but it’s too late.</p><p>“What?!” She wails. “Oh god.” She sits up slightly, hand going to her mouth.</p><p>“Miss Beaulieu?” Lucas moves a hand to her face, tipping her head back slightly and that’s when it happens. Really, they should have seen it coming. A rookie error if there ever was one. She vomits – right onto Lucas’s neck and chest.</p><p>“Oh no, oh no.” She begins sobbing immediately.</p><p>Eliott reacts before Lucas, pushing him back and away and moving to grab a pan left by a nurse for this very reason. He’s not fast enough. She throws up again, Eliott’s shirt and arms catching the worst of it before he’s able to direct her head down and into the pan. Her hiccuping sobs seem to worsen the problem, her diaphragm heaving as she struggles to catch her breath.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott turns to look at him over his shoulder where Lucas stands, vomit-covered and looking truly shocked by that fact. Eliott nods towards the call button, his own hands too occupied to reach for it, “call for a nurse.”</p><p>Lucas nods haltingly, walking quickly to press the button. Daphne appears before long. She takes one look at the situation and with a firm, “Out of my way,” takes over. She has them call for a second nurse and it’s not long before Eliott and Lucas’s presence is superfluous. They’re both more than happy to flee when the opportunity presents itself in the form of Daphne turning to look at them with nose wrinkled.</p><p>“Ugh, you two smell. Go, would you?”</p><p> Lucas is only a few steps from the room when he comes to a stop. Eliott moves to stand beside him.</p><p>“Did that really just happen?” Lucas asks, glancing over at him.</p><p>Eliott glances down a himself. “It would appear so.” He sighs, pulling his shirt slightly away from his body with a grimace. “We’ve seen worse, I suppose.”</p><p>“Rather be staring into a body cavity.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. He can’t help himself. It escapes in a burst of genuine amusement.</p><p>“Imagine what that would sound like out of context,” Eliott manages through his laughter.</p><p>Lucas is watching him, smile twitching at the corners of his mouth. “We’re surgeons. Our idea of a good time is cutting people open. Pretty sure we sound like psychopath’s ninety-eight percent of the time.”</p><p>It sends Eliott into a renewed fit of laughter. It’s not even that funny. But standing in a hospital hallway, vomit-covered, joking with the bane of his existence, suddenly seems utterly hysterical to Eliott. When he gets himself under control, it’s to the sight of Lucas watching him, a gentle smile on his face. It’s not an expression Eliott’s ever seen on Lucas’s face – at least not directed at him. His breath catches in his throat.</p><p>When Lucas realizes Eliott is looking back, his gaze drops to the floor and he shifts slightly on his feet. He looks… shy. Eliott has never thought of Lucas in such a way before. But it’s there. There in the way Lucas’s eyes dart up and then away again. There in the way he bites his lower lip, pulling it into his mouth. There in the way his cheeks have taken on a subtle tinge of pink. Eliott is transfixed.</p><p>
  <em>“Oh sweet, regurgitated guts, what in the ever-living hell is this?” </em>
</p><p>Eliott drags his eyes away from Lucas to see Mika approaching, face scrunched in disgust.</p><p>“You know for people who work in the medical field, you’d think you two would have stronger stomachs,” Eliott teases, glancing between the two.</p><p>“Give me blood and internal organs over this.” Mika wrinkles his nose.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott chuckles, “Lucas said –”</p><p>“I’m going to…” Lucas interrupts, gesturing with one hand down the hallway to suggest taking his leave.</p><p>Mika nods. “You two are nearly at end of shift anyways. Go shower. Check in with me again before you leave but not before ensuring you’re a hell of a lot less vomit-covered.”</p><p>“Sure.” Lucas doesn’t say anything else. Quickly moving past Mika and making his way down the hall.  </p><p>“You two good?” Mika asks, glancing towards where Lucas has disappeared before looking back at Eliott.</p><p>Eliott nods, a little confused by Lucas’s swift departure. “Yeah. I guess. I’m going to…”</p><p>“Go, go.” Mika quickly shoos him away.</p><p>When Eliott enters the locker room it’s to the sight of Lucas standing at one of the benches, fingers delicately pulling the bottom of his shirt away from his body.</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Are you savoring the moment or something?”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, glancing up in surprise.</p><p>Eliott motions towards the vomit-covered shirt Lucas still wears. “You planning on taking it off or…” </p><p>Lucas glances back down at himself, face marred by discontent. He looks… well… cute. Eliott can admit it. Nose scrunching and lips puckered as he considers his predicament. He’s adorable.</p><p>“I can’t figure out how to take it off without getting it all over my face.”</p><p>“Do you want help?”</p><p>Lucas’s head snaps up, mouth dropped open in shock, and it’s only then Eliott realizes exactly how that sounded.</p><p>“It might be easier with more than two hands,” Eliott clarifies, keeping his tone as disinterested as possible, as though the thought of stripping Lucas of his clothing didn’t just send Eliott’s heart bursting out of his chest and sprinting down the hallway wailing, “LUCAS NAKED! NAKED LUCAS!”</p><p>“I don’t need your help taking my clothes off,” Lucas scoffs. The tension he’s holding in his body reverberates through the space separating them. He stares at Eliott for another extended moment, when suddenly he’s dropping his phone and a couple other items from his pockets to the bench and marching away.</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, following with an amused huff. “What are you doing?” He asks as he approaches Lucas where he stands at the edge of the shower tiles, kicking off his shoes.</p><p>“What does it look like?” He walks towards one of the showerheads, fully clothed.</p><p>“You’re going to shower in your scrubs?” It’s obvious Lucas is, but Eliott finds himself asking anyways, staring dumbly after him.</p><p>Lucas glances over his shoulder. “They’re gonna be washed anyways, right?” He turns back to the shower, pulling it on and stepping into the spray.</p><p>Eliott glances down at his own soiled shirt. It’s not a bad idea honestly. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to handling his clothing post-shower. He drops his personal items on a bench bordering the shower area and makes his way to the neighbouring shower. There are curtains available to pull for privacy. But they’re showering fully clothed, and Lucas hasn’t pulled his curtain, so Eliott doesn’t either.</p><p>“Fuck this is gross.”</p><p>Eliott looks over to see Lucas gently prying his top away from his body, letting the spray wash away the worst of it away. Eliott smiles, turning on his own shower and pushing into the spray when he’s sure it’s warm.</p><p>“Can’t wait ‘til you scrub in for a colectomy or something.”</p><p>“‘Least I know what I’m getting cutting into someone’s colon. Was not expecting projectile vomit in my face today.”</p><p>Eliott laughs easily, turning to look over at Lucas, and promptly chokes on water.</p><p>“What –” Eliott coughs, staring at him wide-eyed. “What are you doing?”</p><p>Lucas looks up from where he’s dropped his lab coat on the tile floor of the shower and is now reaching for the bottom of his scrubs top. “What? You thought the plan was to shower fully clothed and strip later?” As a matter of fact, that was exactly what Eliott had thought. He watches open-mouthed as Lucas pulls his shirt up and off, dropping it with a loud splat on top of his lap coat. And then there’s skin. So much skin. And… tattoos. Lucas moves his right arm across his body, hand gliding across his neck and then down his chest. And it’s… <em>covered </em>in colour. There is not one space of skin along the length of his entire right arm that isn’t. Flowers and other designs Eliott can’t quite make out weave along the sinew and muscle of his arm as he moves. Eliott realizes with a tremor of shock that he’s never seen the skin of Lucas’s arms unclothed. He’s always worn his lab coat or had a long-sleeved shirt on under his scrubs. In point of fact, Eliott has never seen this much of Lucas’s skin <em>ever</em>.</p><p>Heat rushes through Eliott’s body so quickly and with such overwhelming intensity he finds himself reaching for the tap, shifting it to a cooler setting and pushing his face into the spray before he speaks.</p><p>“You have tattoo.” Despite his best efforts, his voice comes out more squeak than anything else. He reaches for the tap again and shifts it even colder.</p><p>“Are you really going to shower wearing all of that?” Lucas asks, not acknowledging Eliott’s comment at all.</p><p>Eliott automatically looks towards him and it’s a mistake. Lucas has twisted his body slightly to face him. His chest is bare, the water hitting and cascading down well-formed muscles. Lucas had said he took care of his body. He wasn’t lying. His chest is well built, and the lines of his abdominal muscles clearly defined. His skin hairless, glistening as rivulets of water run down the length of his body. Eliott’s eyes travel down, to where a thin trail of hair runs from beneath his belly button, down to the low-slung edge of his cinched scrub pants. The weight of the water pulls them lower still and the black band of Lucas’s briefs peaks out above them.</p><p>Eliott squeezes his eyes shut, turning his face back into the spray. He doesn’t say anything – afraid of what might come out – and instead reaches for his lab coat, pulling it off and throwing it to the side with little care. He gives his top the same treatment, sighing with relief when, after a brief struggle with the wet material, his upper body is bared to the lukewarm spray of the shower.</p><p>“The pressure here is so much better than at my place.” Lucas’s tone is conversational but there’s an odd note to it. A forced indifference. Eliott opens his eyes, staring at the tiles of the shower wall as Lucas continues. “We only have one shower. Yann takes fucking forever and Emma leaves her hair everywhere. It’s honestly easier to shower here.” Eliott glances towards him cautiously to see Lucas reaching for soap from the dispenser as he continues. “Wasn’t expecting to be showering for this reason, I mean. Could have done without the puke. Not that she could control it, I mean. I’m sure she’d rather not repeat the performance.” He’s scrubbing roughly at his chest and arms, eyes only on his own body. Eliott doesn’t think Lucas has ever spoken this much to him. Not since the first night they met. He’s rambling. It comes to Eliott suddenly with perfect, shocked clarity. Lucas is nervous. “I wonder if they’ll still discharge her tonight? I know nausea isn’t uncommon after anesthesia but that was some exorcist level shit.” Eliott turns around in the spray, arching his back and letting the water pull his hair back and away from his face. “And um – I don’t know that – that we’re the best to handle discharge if it’s not ‘til – um, tomorrow, I mean, because –” Lucas’s words cut off just as Eliott reaches for the waist of his pants. Eliott tries not to smile, refusing to look over at Lucas as he reaches to pull the drawstring cinching his pants, before pushing down both his pants and briefs. He kicks away the soaked material, leaving him nude under the spray of the shower. He sighs happily, running hands back through his hair with a satisfied groan.</p><p>“The pressure here is good,” he agrees as Lucas remains conspicuously silent. “I usually wait ‘til I get home to shower.” It does feel really good. And the pounding of the water against tired muscles – his naked body – combined with the knowledge that Lucas is just a few feet away is electrifying. “Might need to rethink that strategy.” He shivers slightly and turns to towards the faucet intending to raise the temperature back up to more reasonable levels of comfort. Lucas’s delays looking away just a moment too long, his eyes on Eliott’s body before he pulls them away as Eliott turns. Heat curls low in Eliott’s belly as he reaches for the tap, turning it until the water runs hot. He glances at Lucas out of the corner of his eye. Lucas is facing the spray, his tattooed arm pressed forward against the tiled wall, his eyes shut as he let’s the water run across his face. “What are they? Your tattoos?” Eliott doesn’t try to cage the urge to ask. He wants to know. Desperately even.</p><p>He sees Lucas look towards him and meets his eyes. Lucas glances only briefly at Eliott’s face before he redirects his gaze to his own arm. He turns, putting his back to shower head and his tattooed arm closest to Eliott. He stretches it out beside him, turning it slightly as though inspecting it for the first time. It’s an invitation to look and Eliott takes advantage. Careful not to seem too eager, he only turns his upper body slightly, enough so as to offer a more direct line of sight. The tattoo is beautiful and intricate. All individual elements come together to form one full picture – his arm serving as the canvas. It must have taken ages to complete. Must have been painful too. Eliott follows a line of flowers up to Lucas’s bicep. It’s hard to make out all the details. The colours are vibrant and shimmer in reflected light of the shower, appearing as though they’re changing before his eyes, shifting from colour to colour.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes rise to meet Lucas’s. Lucas holds his gaze for one, two deliberate seconds, and then he’s reaching for the waist of his scrubs. Eliott can’t tear his eyes away, sucking in a sharp breath as he watches Lucas strip himself of the last of his clothing, kicking it away from the spray of the shower head. He runs a hand against his body. As his arm moves, the elaborate designs of his tattoos provide a shocking contrast to the clean expanse of his bare skin. He’s sweeps his hand down his chest, down to his stomach where he stops to press fingertips into the divots between his abs. Eliott swallows heavily, tongue sweeping out of its own accord to catch water droplets fallen to his lower lip. Lucas’s hand glides lower, the lines crawling through the flowers on his arm serving as a guide, offering no other option but to follow where they lead… down… down to the base of Lucas’s cock. His fingers find purpose there, trailing down over the sparse hair. He must groom, Eliott thinks hysterically. Lucas’s fingers travel across the smooth skin, before moving back up. Never touching, never connecting with his… <em>god</em>… his perfect cock, soft and thick and right there… just a few steps and Eliott could reach out… could <em>touch</em>… could wrap his fist around it, watch as it thickened in his hand, pump it, slick and hot until it was hard and straining against his palm, faster, until small, beautiful sounds of pleasure fell from Lucas’s lips, until he couldn’t take it any more, until he begged to come, until –</p><p>
  <em>Fuck. FUCK. </em>
</p><p>Eliott rips his eyes away, slamming a hand to the faucet he jerks it cold. The water responds immediately, the frigid cold hitting with his skin like a violent slap. It’s necessary. He drops his head, panting, moving his hands to press against the shower tile as the water hits his neck and back.</p><p>Don’t get hard. Do <em>not </em>get hard. Just… think unsexy thoughts. Bowel resections. Douching. That guy he nearly fucked with the dick cheese. Eliott shudders. Yes. That will work. He concentrates on the image. Only… only it shifts… changes… pale skin deepens to a golden tan, large ruddy hand lengthening until it’s smooth, delicate fingers, Eliott sees. And it’s not thick, dark curls at the base of a cock disappointingly out of proportion with the much larger body attached, it’s a perfect, compact body, slick, smooth skin, plump and perfect cock, bigger than Eliott would have expected.</p><p>“Fuck!” The sound of the pounding spray from the showerheads somewhat drowns out the curse. Eliott bites his lip – hard – focusing on the sting. A quick glance down confirms what he already knew. He’s hard. Not fully. Not obviously so. Not yet. But his dick is flush with colour, thick and obvious, skin stretching against the hardening length. “Fuck,” he expels one more time in a gust of frustrated air.</p><p>“Are you ok?” Lucas’s voice is ripe with what Eliott is sure is mockery. There’s no doubt Lucas has realized the effect he’s had on Eliott. He’s likely reveling in it. That Eliott responds so easily to Lucas doing little more than stand there… existing. Existing while naked.</p><p>“I’m fine.” His tone is shockingly calm. Cold and collected. Granted that is likely in large part due to the way the cold water has seeped into Eliott’s bones. The result is that he sounds… detached. Satisfied that his response has allowed him to somewhat save face, he reaches for the tap, turning it back to a more reasonable temperature and takes a deep, steadying breath. “We should go. Doubt Mika meant for us to make it a spa day.” He means to lighten the mood, to pop the tension between them, so thick and oppressive, Eliott can barely breathe. But when Lucas responds there’s anger in his tone Eliott didn’t expect.</p><p>“Right. Wouldn’t want that. Fine. Whatever.”</p><p>Eliott straightens, looking to Lucas in surprise. Lucas moves to turn off his shower head and Eliott is momentarily distracted by his first clear view of Lucas’s ass. His shapely, perfect ass. The angels must have wept when creating such an ass, is the only semblance of a thought running through Eliott’s head. But then Lucas is readying to leave, movements stilted and jerky as he crouches to collect his clothes. Eliott quickly reaches to turn off his own shower. When he turns back, Lucas is already halfway across the tiled shower area. He’s clearly pissed. Eliott doesn’t understand.</p><p>“Wait!” Eliott leaps forward, reaching to latch onto Lucas’s bicep. But it’s a movement guided by folly and adrenaline.</p><p>Eliott’s feet slide out from under him, his right arm flailing as he attempts to regain his balance, but it’s too late. Grip tight to Lucas’s arm, he falls. Initially he’s only aware of the pain that comes with cracking his tailbone against the hard tile as he lands, a weight pushing him until he’s sprawled fully on his back. The rest hits him in a blur of overlapping senses: slick skin, the heat of another body against his, the smell of soap and something else, a spice he can’t place, the sound of someone else’s quick breaths, the opposing feel of soft skin over hard muscle… contact… contact from head to toe, touch where Eliott is most sensitive. It’s Lucas. Oh god. He’s pulled Lucas down right on top of him, their naked bodies pressed together… <em>everywhere</em>. Oh fuck.</p><p>Lucas is pushing up with hands to Eliott’s chest, legs straddling either side of Eliott’s body, his face a picture of surprise. He stares down with perfect pink lips dropped open in shock. There’s a suspended moment in time when they do no more than stare at one another. Eliott’s hands are flat to the tile beside his body, his own body caught in frozen stasis. The throbbing pain of his tailbone nothing compared to the throbbing ache of something else.  </p><p>“Oh fuck.” Lucas speaks the words running through Eliott’s head. In some sort of misguided attempt to create distance between their faces, he slides further down Eliott’s body.</p><p>“No! Lucas!” Eliott’s hands move to latch onto him but it’s too late to prevent it. The crack of Lucas’s ass slides, wet and hot, right against Eliott’s rapidly hardening dick. Eliott’s hands tighten against Lucas’s hips, his grip no doubt bruising, and he releases a groan he can’t contain.</p><p>“Oh god,” Lucas is frozen, his chest heaving with his breath, hands hot where they’re pressed to Eliott’s abs. Eliott doesn’t know what to do. Opposing desires slam into him with a force he’s never felt before. <em>Kiss. Fuck. Fight. Run. </em>Lucas makes the decision for them both. “Oh god!” It’s said with horror now, and he pushes off Eliott, falling sideways. He scrambles to a stand, eyes wide and locked on Eliott. They travel down Eliott’s body, landing on what is now surely a very obvious erection. “Fuck!” His hand moves to cover his own dick, and then he’s spinning and rushing out of sight, back into the locker room, perfect ass disappearing as he goes.</p><p>Eliott lays there for a moment, on the tiles of the shower floor that he can only hope was recently cleaned, listening to the sound of his own heartbeat pounding in his ears. Eventually, when the roar of blood rushing through his ears has quieted to a distant hum, he sits up. As the shock of the moment wanes, the pain of his tailbone makes itself known and he grimaces uncomfortably, carefully moving to a stand. He notes Lucas left all of his clothing, a soggy pile on the tile floor, likely dropped when they fell and forgotten in the midst of his… panic? Was it panic? Horror? Embarrassment? Eliott isn’t entirely sure. He isn’t even entirely sure what it is <em>he’s</em> feeling.</p><p>He grabs both of their clothing, realizing in the midst of following Lucas in here, he never brought a towel. There’s no sound coming from the locker room, so Eliott cautiously approaches. He dumps their clothing on the bench next to his locker, quickly grabbing his towel and wrapping it securely around his waist before he ventures around the lockers. He takes a deep breath, holding it tight in his chest as he rounds the aisle to the Lucas’s locker, only to expel it in one gust. There’s no one there.</p><p>Eliott glances towards the private bathroom stall and change rooms but they appear to be empty. A confusing feeling of disappointment builds in Eliott’s chest. How did Lucas even manage to change so quickly? Eliott feels confident he didn’t rush out of the locker room, into the hospital, naked. And Eliott certainly wasn’t sitting on the floor of the showers that long. Apparently Lucas had been motivated. Motivated enough by a desire not to face Eliott after – <em>whatever </em>that was – to change at lightening speed.</p><p>He’s only kicked from his increasingly bitter musings by the sound of others entering the locker room. Eliott glances at the wall clock. End of shift. He rushes to get back to his locker but it’s not before Emma catches sight of him as she walks in with Alex.</p><p>“Well, <em>hello there.</em> To what do we owe the pleasure of a naked Dr. Demaury?”</p><p>Eliott forces a laugh, continuing to his locker as they follow to their own. “Got puked on. Trust me, it’s much less sexy than it looks right now.” <em>You sure about that?</em> his traitorous brain supplies.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Emma hums. “I can deal with a little puke if it ends in you naked.”</p><p>“Could you maybe try not hitting on him when I am right here?” Alex complains, only sounding mildly annoyed.</p><p>“What?” Emma says with zero apology in her voice. “I don’t even get to see this when I sleep over at your guys’ place. You know you two really don’t walk around naked nearly enough. If I looked like you, I’d walk around naked all the time.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, a little more genuinely this time as he pulls his jeans up under his towel, shuddering at the feel of putting them on without underwear. “I think Lucille might object to that.”</p><p>“Please,” Emma dismisses with a scoff. “You two have slept together. She’s seen you naked.”</p><p>“Uh,” Alex interrupts, “I’d rather not have his naked dick staring at me in the face when I’m trying to have breakfast, thanks.”</p><p>“We both know you enjoy a good dick every once in a while, don’t play,” Emma snorts.</p><p>Eliott hides his laugh into the shirt he pulls over his head. Alex has never openly spoken about his sexual fluidity. But there has been more than one occasion when it’s been Emma, <em>plus</em> a man or woman, or <em>both</em>, stumbling from Alex’s room in the morning.</p><p>“My roommate’s dick and random dude dick are two very different things,” Alex responds. Eliott has to say, he’s mildly surprised by the confidence shown in such a response. PE (pre-Emma as Eliott and Lucille like to call it) Alex never would have admitted to feeling any attraction towards men.</p><p>“It’s all attractive dude dick to me,” Emma says with a relaxed shrug.</p><p>Eliott takes pity on the predicament his very presence has put Alex in and grabs the rest of his things, shoving his and Lucas’s wet clothing into his gym bag, and slamming his locker shut, departing with a quick, “See you at home,” directed to them both. They barely acknowledge him, continuing to squabble between themselves. They’re an odd pairing but in truth, they work quite well together. While on the surface they appear to butt heads, in actuality they complement one another quite nicely. And the few occasions Eliott has come home to find them curled together on the tv couch, quietly chatting, confirm that their relationship is more than physical. And as to the physical… well, he shares a wall with Alex. He feels confident in saying they have nothing to complain about where their sex life is concerned.</p><p>Fuck. <em>Don’t think about sex</em>. Eliott makes his way down the hall to where he knows Mika will be rounding out the day’s events at the nurse’s station – though it’s probably more accurate to say he’ll be catching up on gossip with Daphne. <em>Don’t think about anything</em>. Nothing. Nothing that happened or… didn’t happen. Mind blank. Do not think about sex. Dick. Lucas’s dick. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“Ah, looking and smelling immeasurably better, Demaury,” Mika greets as Eliott approaches. “Happy to have you back in much cleaner form.”</p><p>Eliott nods, looking to where Daphne sits, legs crossed in one of the rolling chairs. “Thank you for the help, Daphne. I don’t know what we would have done without you.”</p><p>She flushes to a pretty pink instantly, looking immeasurably pleased. “Of course. I don’t mind at all!”</p><p>“Is the patient ok?”</p><p>“Oh, yes, yes,” Daphne assures. “We got her nausea under control. But we’ll wait until the morning to have her discharged. I’m not sure she ever wants to face you or Lucas again, though.”</p><p>Eliott laughs and subtly scans the area around them. “He already left? Lucas?”</p><p>Mika looks at him in surprise. “Isn’t he with you?”</p><p>“Oh, uh,” Eliott quickly shakes his head with a smile, as though he were the forgetful one, “yeah. Sorry. I forgot, he left before me. I was meant to check in with you for both of us.”</p><p>Mika narrows his eyes skeptically but accepts this with a nod. “Well that’s fine. We’re sorted for today. You can go. Class dismissed!” He adds with a flourish.</p><p>Eliott nods, bidding farewell to them both. He pulls his phone out when he reaches the bus stop outside the hospital. There’s a text from Anna.</p><p>
  <em>Yours tonight? </em>
</p><p>He chuckles. She’s always preferred blunt demand over subtlety. Eliott likes that about her in all honestly. It simplifies things between them immensely. She’s only back for a few nights before she’ll be leaving on another work trip. They’d normally take advantage of every opportunity to enjoy one another before she leaves. And there’s no doubt Eliott is currently feeling more than a little… frustrated. But the thought of being with Anna after… he just can’t. Something about it feels… wrong.</p><p>
  <em>Sorry. Not tonight. Rain check? </em>
</p><p>She replies immediately. <em>Like my vibrator more than you anyways.</em></p><p>He laughs, closing his message with her and returning to the more pressing task on the forefront of his mind: Lucas. He’s never had Lucas’s number. Idriss does. Eliott knows that. He could ask for it but he’s not sure he wants to endure the questions that would accompany doing so. He pulls up Instagram instead. He’s already familiar with Lucas’s username, having searched for him out of mere <em>curiosity</em> one evening, but he hasn’t looked at it recently.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott takes a moment to scan the newest photos. The picture of Lucas with Daphne catches him by surprise. Lucas just looks so… carefree. Silly even. There are additional pictures with friends… a lot of Yann… pictures of fast food – apparently something Lucas feels is important enough to keep a record of. Ridiculous. Eliott catches sight of his own reflection in the glass of the bus shelter, a goofy smile spread across his face. He frowns instantly, pulling up a private message to Lucas instead.</p><p>
  <em>You left without checking in with Mika. I covered for you. </em>
</p><p>He considers the message for a moment before sending. Is it too cold? Abrupt? Especially when they’ve never messaged one another before. But then… it’s Lucas. Shower… situation… aside, Eliott being anything other than cold has never been received by Lucas with anything less than a sneer and snide comment. Eliott sighs and hits send. Lucas’s account blinks to active. The message is read. And then… nothing. Eliott waits a few more moments. It clearly shows the message as seen but… nothing. No response. Irritated Eliott types out a second message.</p><p>
  <em>I have your clothes. </em>
</p><p>And again, Lucas comes online, the message is seen, and nothing. Eliott scowls down at his phone. His bus is approaching and he stands, moving to the curb to wait. Just as it pulls up, he opens his phone again, clicking back to Lucas’s account, and without thinking about it any further, hits follow, before closing his phone once more and entering the bus.</p><p>It’s as he’s falling asleep that evening, alone and buried beneath the blankets of his bed, room dark and cozy, that his phone lights up with a notification. Eliott reaches for it, intending on flipping it over so the light won’t disturb him. And that’s when he sees it.</p><p>
  <em>lucallement started following you.</em>
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</p><p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>A random note: </p><p>- For anyone who watched Gilmore Girls and was reminded of the Luke/Lorelai ("you know you always look good") moment in the hospital... that similar moment between Lucas/ Eliott wasn't planned as a reference but when I was editing I totally reminded myself of GG so I think subconsciously it was! And if you know what I'm referring to... I love you. </p><p>Next chapter, next weekend!</p>
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<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So just a heads up, there's more medical jargon in this chapter. One spot in particular. It only lasts for about 2 paragraphs but it's there with purpose and yeah... my apologies to anyone who will find that a lot drier (I feel you!) and for any medical peeps reading, I'll link the article the case refers to in the end notes. </p><p>Ok... so this is when the chapters start becoming ridiculous lengths. 24k for this one and that's not even the craziest they will get. Enjoy &lt;333</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>* * * * </p><p> </p><p>Eliott stares at Lucas’s latest IG post as he walks towards the nurse’s station at end of shift. It feels… pointed. But then, thinking that Lucas is posting anything as a way to bait Eliott feels extraordinarily narcissistic. Then again…</p><p>
  
</p><p><em>Better than average</em>. How else is Eliott supposed to read that? And is it an insult or… something else? Is he perhaps saying Eliott is… better than he expected? A small hiccup of a laugh escapes Eliott at the thought, just a little unhinged. There’s no way. No way Lucas would ever think, never mind <em>post</em> such a thing. Unless… he would? After all, Eliott himself was harbouring similar musings after having seen Lucas … well… in all his naked glory. But then, what does it mean? And how is Eliott supposed to respond? And why is Lucas once again avoiding him?</p><p>Lucas had shown up late to rounds. Because of course he had. But for once he hadn’t made a spectacle of himself, slipping quietly into the back of the group. Eliott had been aware of him the moment he’d arrived as though he’d developed some sort of sixth sense meant to forewarn that the banes of one’s existence were fast approaching. The hair on the back of his neck had prickled and the air had seemed to change… to thicken. He’d turned, not entirely surprised to see his heightened awareness was the result of Lucas joining the group. He liked it even. The way his skin tingled, and his breath came shorter. The way he was always so <em>aware</em> of Lucas.</p><p>But then Lucas had avoided his eyes entirely. And as if that weren’t enough to make his desire to avoid Eliott clear, he’d volunteered – <em>volunteered </em>– to spend the day in the ER. Even Mika had responded with disbelief when Lucas had offered to do so.</p><p><em>“You know you’re going to spend the day doing sutures. You’re not going to end up with some incredible surgical case falling in your lap,” </em>Mika had said, eyes narrowed as he considered Lucas.</p><p><em>“It’s fine, Mika,” </em>Lucas had responded with an irritated shrug<em>. “So, can I go or…” </em></p><p>Mika had waved him off quickly, clearly not wanting to question the gift he’d been given in the form of an intern <em>not </em>complaining about ER duty, and Lucas had quickly left. And that had been that. Eliott hadn’t seen him all day. Not for lunch either. And so, while Eliott wouldn’t normally assume Lucas’s actions had anything whatsoever to do with him – he most certainly knew better – in this particular case… what else was he to think?</p><p>“Hey,” he greets tiredly, slumping against the counter when he reaches the nurse’s station where Idriss sits with Daphne.</p><p>“Hi Eliott!” Daphne chirps, smile wide and cheeks immediately filling with colour.</p><p>Eliott makes a little more effort in response to her cheery demeanor, offering a smile. “Hi Daphne. How’s your day been?”</p><p>She looks slightly shocked by the question, her eyes widening. “Oh! Good. Great! How was your day?”</p><p>He shrugs, smile waning. “A little tiring. I’m pretty exhausted, honestly.”</p><p>“Oh, hell no!” Idriss swings his chair to face Eliott directly and points a threatening finger. “If this is you getting ready to bail on the party, you can think again, asshole.”</p><p>“Idriss!” Daphne admonishes, glancing around them, though there is no one else within a conversational distance. “Would you at least try to not to sound completely unprofessional when you’re behind the desk?”</p><p>Idriss scoffs, glancing back towards her. “What? You saying you’re ok with him bailing on the party?” He’s giving her a look Eliott doesn’t quite understand but is far too emotionally and physically drained to bother attempting to decipher.</p><p>Daphne’s eyes dart up to Eliott and away again. “He’s tired, Idriss. You should try to be more understanding.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s why he needs to come chill with friends and get drunk.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “That doesn’t sound like particularly sound logic.” He raises a hand when Idriss opens his mouth to respond. “Relax. I wasn’t going to bail.” In truth, he was seriously considering it, but he’s not about to share that now.</p><p>“Damn straight,” Idriss huffs. “Everyone is going to be there. No way my best friend is allowed to bail.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott perks up slightly. “Everyone?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss confirms, squinting at Eliott suspiciously. “What are you up to?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, huffing with indignation in the hopes it will serve as effective enough misdirection. “Nothing. Anyways, I’m gonna get going. I want to shower and change before getting there.”</p><p>“Oh, is that right?” There’s a smirk pulling at Idriss’s mouth now. Eliott isn’t so sure he likes the looks of it. “Anna still in town?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, entirely thrown by the question. “I mean – yes. She doesn’t leave until tomorrow.”</p><p>Idriss laughs. “Ah, so you’re looking to get laid.” He stands to reach forward and ruffle Eliott’s hair affectionately. “Can’t fault you there. Batgirl is damn fine.”</p><p>Eliott bats his hand away. “She’ll kick your ass if she hears you calling her that.”</p><p>“Nah,” Idriss denies, slumping back to his chair, looking relaxed and happy. “She likes it.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Eliott dismisses. “And I’m not. That’s not why – it wasn’t about that.” Perhaps he should feel a little bad about it, but Anna hadn’t even been remotely at the forefront of his mind. Then again, Eliott knows that’s likely mutual.</p><p>“Un hunh,” Idriss laughs, clearly not believing a word of what Eliott says.</p><p>“I’m leaving,” Eliott announces with a glare that’s only met with a wide smile from Idriss.</p><p>“See you in a few hours, buddy.”</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah.”</p><p>Just as he moves out of sight, he hears Daphne ask, “Who’s Anna?” Eliott sighs. That’s all he needs; His sex life to find its ways to Daphne’s gossip channels. He really should have a chat with Idriss about what is appropriate to discuss at work and what is most definitely not.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott has barely finished knocking on the door when it swings open and he’s being dragged in by the front of his shirt, before being slammed back up against it, Idriss’s harried face his only clue as to what’s going on.</p><p>“Idriss, what –”</p><p>“Ssshhh!” Idriss’s hand slaps down on Eliott’s mouth. “They’ll hear you!”</p><p>Eliott raises his eyebrows, gently prying Idriss’s hand from his mouth and keeping his voice at a whisper, though he has no idea why he’s doing so. “Who will hear me? What’s going on?”</p><p>“She’s here! I didn’t think she’d come – or that he’d bring her. And she’s here! And they came early. I didn’t know what to do. And I left them in the living room and <em>what do I do?!!!” </em></p><p>Eliott blinks slowly, pushing himself up from the door to a more upright stand and prying Idriss’s other hand from the front of his shirt. “You realize you’re making no sense right now, yeah? Slow down.” Idriss nods, not looking any less frantic, but his eyes at the very least fix on Eliott’s face. “Ok,” Eliott keeps his tone as soothing and calm as possible, “let’s start with who’s here.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Idriss whispers. Eliott’s heart promptly lodges itself at the back of his throat. “And <em>her</em>. He brought Manon, Eliott! Manon!”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott could laugh at the way he suddenly feels just as panicked as Idriss, blood roaring in his ears.</p><p>“What – what do I do?” When Eliott focuses on Idriss’s face it’s with startled amusement that he realizes just how serious Idriss is about apparently having no idea what to do when faced with his crush in the flesh.</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott chuckles, resting hands on Idriss’s shoulders. “Chill, first of all. They’re guests. You treat them as guests. Did you offer to get them something to drink? To eat?”</p><p>Idriss’s eyes widen. “No. Fuck! No. I left them in the living room and hid in the kitchen waiting for your ass to show up. But I think Sofiane got the drinks… he came in at one point. I might have been blacking out.”</p><p>“Idriss,” Eliott laughs before quickly cutting himself off with a slight cough at the panic-stricken look on Idriss’s face. “Well, let’s grab some food and we’ll go back in and make sure everyone has drinks, ok?” Idriss nods, face serious and focused on Eliott’s words as though he were reciting the secrets to the universe. “Are they in there alone?”</p><p>“No,” Idriss shakes his head, “Imane and Sofiane are with them.” Now that he’s mentioned it, Eliott can hear the quiet conversation in the other room definitely sounds like more than two people. He nods.</p><p>“Alright, good. This is fine.” He squeezes Idriss’s shoulders in comfort. “It’ll be fine. You’ll charm the pants off her, ok?” Somehow this seems to panic Idriss even more, a distinctly nauseated look overtaking his face. Eliott rushes to continue, “If you want. Or we’ll just go in there and chill with friends, ok?” That seems to settle Idriss slightly. He nods. “Good. Now c’mon,” Eliott wraps an arm around his shoulders, pulling him towards the kitchen, “I’d say alcohol is definitely in order.”</p><p>There’s a surprising amount of food and snacks prepared – more than likely, Imane and Sofiane’s doing. In the end they leave the majority for when the party is in fuller swing. Eliott presses a bowl of chips into Idriss’s hands, and takes a plate of Sofiane’s pastries, leading the way back into the living room. As they enter, Eliott sees Imane and Sofiane first, tucked together on a smaller love seat. Manon is sat directly on the floor next to the coffee table, laughing at something Imane has said. And Lucas…</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott’s mouth parts at the sight of him. He’s sitting on an ottoman, leaning forward with his forearms resting on his knees as he gives Imane his full attention. He’s dressier than Eliott has ever seen him. He’s wearing a white, button-up shirt, bright and crisp against his tanned skin. It’s open one extra button and gapes slightly, allowing an enticing view of his chest as he sits leaned over. His sleeves are rolled up, his tattooed arm on half display. He looks… <em>so fucking good. </em></p><p>“Eliott.” Idriss is knocking a shoulder into Eliott where he’s… oh… where he’d apparently stopped in his tracks at the sight of Lucas. Imane has only just turned her attention to him. Eliott rushes forward, hoping no one noticed his momentarily catatonic state courtesy of the bane of his existence, directing his eyes everywhere <em>but </em>Lucas.</p><p>“There he is!” Imane greets with a radiant smile. “I didn’t see you at all today!”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess not.” Eliott returns her smile, setting the plate he carries down on the table and pushing it until it rests on the end nearest Imane and Lucas. He remembers what Lucas said about loving Sofiane’s olive and cheese pastries, that’s all. It’s only polite. “It was a busy day. For you too?”</p><p>She shrugs. “The usual.”</p><p>Eliott sees Idriss place his bowl of chips on the table, moving to take a seat on the couch adjacent to Imane and Sofiane’s loveseat, and he follows suit. It places Lucas in his direct line of sight, but Eliott keeps his eyes on the couple speaking.</p><p>“Tell them about that kid you treated, habibti,” Sofiane suggests with a pride-filled smile, arm around Imane squeezing her towards him affectionately.</p><p>“Kid?” Lucas’s voice asks. Eliott’s eyes go immediately and involuntarily to him. Lucas is still sitting forward, this time with one of the pastry’s halfway to his mouth. He’s paused to ask the question of Imane. Eliott bites his lip around a smile.</p><p>Imane rolls her eyes. “He thinks of everyone younger than him as a kid. Joys of running a youth centre.” She turns towards him, pinching his chin between her fingers. “He was twenty-two, you goon.”</p><p>Sofiane laughs. “A whole infant.”</p><p>“And?” Lucas prompts but Imane dismisses him with a wave of her hand.</p><p>“You just want a chance to tell me how much more interesting your day was. I see through you.”</p><p>“I was in the ER doing sutures all day,” Lucas snorts. “Just this once, I can promise your day was better.”</p><p>“You said you volunteered,” Manon pipes up as she reaches for a chip from the bowl. Idriss leans forward to push the chips further towards her and she rewards him with a sweet smile. Eliott looks to see Idriss stare down at his own hands pleased. A bashful Idriss. Will wonders never cease.</p><p>“Someone had to,” is Lucas’s response before he shoves the pastry in his mouth in one large bite. His eyes remain firmly on the table and Eliott gets the distinct impression Lucas is making a concerted effort not the return his gaze. It comes to Eliott a bit like he’d imagine an epiphany to be, though perhaps not as earth shattering. A mini epiphany if you will. A small earthquake.</p><p>Lucas is <em>aware </em>of him, just as aware of Eliott as Eliott is so constantly of Lucas; That keeping eyes off one another takes much more concentration than either of them would ever admit. That it is, in fact, looking away that feels the most unnatural.</p><p>“Right,” Idriss speak up with a slight laugh, “because you’re known for your altruistic tendencies where your career as a surgeon is concerned.”</p><p>Mouth full, Lucas isn’t able to do much more than give Idriss the middle finger as everyone else laughs.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Manon says, laughter present in her voice, “coming with me to my after-work mixer was pretty selfless.”</p><p>“See!” Lucas points towards Idriss, crumbs flying as he talks. It shouldn’t be attractive at all. It <em>shouldn’t </em>be. “A totally selfless act. Her work things are horrible.”</p><p>“Ok, taking it a little far now,” Manon laughs.</p><p>“It’s true.” Lucas’s lower lip juts out in a pout. It’s maybe a little adorable. “You always drag me with you and they’re always terrible.”</p><p>“Well, I don’t see why she wouldn’t when you’re clearly such a joy to bring,” Imane says with an eyebrow raised, unimpressed eyes on Lucas.</p><p>Manon laughs. “He’s actually pretty charming when he wants to be.” She turns to look up at him, reaching forward to poke his arm. “Which he does. For me.”</p><p>“How come he goes with you?” Idriss asks, eyes wide as though he hadn’t meant to speak at all and is utterly shocked by his ability to do so. He continues with a bit of a stutter. “Like, with you guys not being – uh, together. A couple, I mean. Not being… one.” Eliott just barely muffles a laugh, coughing into his fist instead.</p><p>Manon doesn’t seem to notice Idriss’s unease, turning back to him to answer with an easy smile. “It’s just easier to bring Lucas than to go alone.”</p><p>“She means with me there she stands a chance of holding off the slimy dudes at her work who won’t take no for an answer.”</p><p>Manon sighs. “I don’t work with slimy guys, Lucas.”</p><p>“Ok, one slimy guy.”</p><p>“Lucas…”</p><p>“<em>‘No is a yes in waiting,’ </em>ring a bell?”</p><p>“Wait,” Idriss interrupts, moving until he’s leaning forward, balanced on the edge of the couch, his face furrowed with concern. “Someone said that to you? A guy you work with? After you rejected him?”</p><p>“Well…” Manon seems to waver for a moment on how much to share before continuing. “Yes. I don’t work that closely with him though. He’s harmless really, just a little bit of a –”</p><p>“Fucking asshole,” Lucas finished for her. Eliott would agree.</p><p>“Lucas,” Manon exhales a laugh.</p><p>“Ugh,” Imane makes a sound of disgust, “he does sound like an ass.”</p><p>“He really does,” Sofiane agrees.</p><p>“That’s not ok.” In all his outrage Idriss seems to have regained his confidence, attention focused on Manon, no waver in his voice. “Why hasn’t anything been done about him harassing you?”</p><p>Manon looks slightly taken aback by the ferocity of Idriss’s concern. When she answers it’s with a different sort of sincerity, her tone serious. “His father is my boss’s boss. To say his position is secure is an understatement. And I’m a junior. I have no real authority. I’m not in a position to make any waves.”</p><p>“That makes it even more fucked up!” Idriss huffs a frustrated breath, hand cutting the air in front of him as he speaks. “That’s a total power imbalance and he’s taking advantage of it to harass someone who can’t fight back. What a fucking dick.”</p><p>Manon’s watching Idriss carefully now, eyes sparking with interest. “It’s not ideal, I’ll admit.”</p><p>“Which is where I come in,” Lucas crows, spreading his arms with a grin. “Knight in shining armor.”</p><p>Manon pulls her eyes from Idriss to glance back at Lucas with a laugh. “You just like acting like you’re into him to scare him off.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott expels with a laugh. Lucas looks towards him. It’s the first time their eyes have met that evening, Eliott realizes, with a frisson of excitement rushing across his skin like electricity.</p><p>Lucas’s cheeks flush, a slight smile appearing before he drops his eyes, hand moving to his hair and pulling it back from his face with a tousle.</p><p>“It’s pretty effective, honestly,” Manon grins up at Lucas.</p><p>“Yeah, like all heterosexual men so <em>totally </em>secure in their sexuality,” Lucas begins, glancing up but eyes landing on Eliott for only a split second before he directs his comments to Idriss, “he runs the second he thinks a gay guy is into him. Pretty sure he thinks I’m always two seconds from hauling him into some back room and having my way with him. You couldn’t pay me enough to touch that guy’s dick.”</p><p>“What a loser,” Sofiane says, Imane humming in agreement beside him.</p><p>“He is,” Lucas agrees.</p><p>“You should take me with you next time. Promise he’d leave you alone then.” Idriss’s eyes widen the moment the sentence out. Eliott would put money on there being a screaming siren sounding in his  head at that very moment.</p><p>Manon’s eyes are wide now too. She laughs a little. “Did you just ask yourself out <em>for </em>me?”</p><p>“Uh…”</p><p>“Sounds like he did to me,” Lucas pipes up with a cheeky grin. Eliott finds his own mirroring Lucas’s as he watches the scene unfold. “He’s not wrong though.” Lucas reaches forward to gently push at Manon’s shoulder. “Show up with Idriss on your arm and that’s probably the last you’d see of Charles.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “That makes it sound like you expect Idriss to straight up murder him.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flick to Eliott, holding his gaze as he responds. “Unrealistic expectation?”</p><p>“No.” Eliott’s smile widens.</p><p>Idriss pulls Lucas’s attention away with an aggrieved sigh. “Ok, you both can shut up now.” He seems to have regained his poise; posture relaxed but confident as he looks to Manon and continues, “I’m just saying you shouldn’t have to put up with that. I could help.”</p><p>Imane snorts and when Eliott looks towards her he can see Sofiane silently laughing into her shoulder. Idriss ignores them both, continuing to stare steadily at Manon.</p><p>“I’ll keep that in mind.” Manon tips her head down, tucking her hair behind one ear before glancing back up at Idriss with a shy smile. “We might need to get to know one another a little better before I throw you to the den of wolves that is my workplace though.”</p><p>Idriss smiles. “We can do that.” He’s so clearly thrilled, Eliott would swear the happiness radiates from him in a visible glow.  Eliott looks to Lucas to see if he’s noticed as well. Only, Lucas isn’t looking at Idriss and Manon, he’s looking at Eliott. There’s an inscrutable quality to his gaze, but he doesn’t look away, so neither does Eliott. Then there’s a flicker, an emotion – <em>there –</em> hidden just beyond the impenetrable veil. Eliott reaches for it with his own gaze, desperate not to let it slip through his grasp.</p><p>A loud knock at the door suddenly echoes through the apartment. Lucas’s eyes jolt away, looking towards the sound. Eliott finds himself falling forward slightly, as though he’d been held by a taught thread that’s now been broken.</p><p>“Who are we betting is first?” Imane asks grinning towards Idriss. “Other than us, that is.”</p><p>There’s an extended moment as the siblings look at one another before they say in unison, “Daphne,” and laugh.</p><p>“I’ll get it,” Lucas says, pushing up from the ottoman to a stand.</p><p>Eliott hops up as well. “I’ll come with you.”</p><p>Lucas looks at him skeptically. “I can manage to answer a door without help.” Another knock sounds. Eliott raises an eyebrow. Lucas huffs, “Fine.”</p><p>Lucas moves with purpose, giving Eliott no opportunity to engage him in conversation as he strides quickly down the hall to the door. Eliott scurries to catch up, reaching Lucas just as he opens the door.</p><p>“Hi Lucas!” Daphne bubbles as she steps through the door, kissing Lucas on the cheeks.</p><p>“Hi Daphy,” Lucas smiles, reaching to take the tray of various baked sweets she holds.</p><p>She turns to see Eliott and her smile brightens. “Oh, hi Eliott!”</p><p>“Hi Daphne,” Eliott greets, backing up slightly as a few other guests are collecting at the door. Daphne’s boyfriend, Bas, is just behind her, weighed down by a number of packs of beer balanced precariously in his arms. “Oh, here,” Eliott steps around Daphne, reaching for pack obscuring Bas’s view, “let me help.”</p><p>“Whoa.” Bas’s eyes are wide as Eliott takes the beer from him.</p><p>“You okay?” Eliott asks as Bas doesn’t appear to be moving. Others are squeezing past him as he stands staring at Eliott while partially blocking the doorway.</p><p>“I think you got hotter.” His says it with total sincerity, face slack and utterly serious. A giggle erupts from Eliott’s chest before he can stop it.</p><p>“You are so fucking embarrassing.” Lucas appears, shoving Bas out of his stupor with a firm push to his shoulder, and as such, out of the path of incoming party-goers. “He’s not going to fuck you. You get that right?”</p><p>Bas turns to Lucas, brow furrowed. “A man can appreciate another man’s hotness without wanting to sleep with him, you know. Don’t be a dick.”</p><p>“And besides,” Eliott adds with a cheeky grin directed at Lucas, “who are you to say? I’m an equal opportunity kind of guy.”</p><p>“You are?” Bas and Daphne gasp in unison. Eliott keeps his eyes on Lucas who returns his attention with an eye roll.</p><p>“You wouldn’t fuck him because he’s in a relationship.” That’s an interesting assessment. True, but an interesting conclusion for Lucas to have made about Eliott with limited to no knowledge of his relationship or sexual history. Eliott has no opportunity to question the appraisal before Lucas is turning back to Bas and adding with teasing smile. “Also a desperate loser. Who wants to fuck that?”</p><p>“Hey!” Bas and Daphne object in time with one another.</p><p>“What does that say about me then?” Daphne continues with a pout.</p><p>Lucas slings an arm around her neck, pulling her close and pressing a kiss to her cheek. “That you’ve always been too good for him, babe.”</p><p>She giggles, looking pleased by the judgment. “Well, you weren’t available, so I had to make do.”</p><p>“I knew it!” Lucas crows happily, pulling Daphne with him as he moves them down the hall towards the main living room.</p><p>Eliott glances back towards Bas concerned, only to see a content smile spread across his face. “You’re not offended?”</p><p>“‘Course not.” Bas moves towards the kitchen to set down the extra beer, with Eliott dutifully following. His burden set aside, he turns back to Eliott. “Daphne’s a catch. I know I’m lucky to be with her.” He glances towards the direction Daphne and Lucas disappeared. “But if Lucas were straight, I wouldn’t have stood a chance.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Well you guys make a sweet couple.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Bas wiggles an eyebrow, leaning in towards Eliott slightly. “What about you? Go for men and women, hunh?”</p><p>“Whoever I connect with,” Eliott clarifies with a slight shrug. “Gender’s irrelevant.”</p><p>“And have you?” He’s wiggling both eyebrows now, looking ridiculous but somehow charming. “Connected with anyone?”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I’m not sure. I do ok, I guess. But I’m single.”</p><p>“Dude,” Bas drops a hand to Eliott’s shoulder, “if I was you, I would sleep with everyone.”</p><p>“That assumes everyone wants to sleep with me, though,” Eliott points out with a snort.</p><p>“They do,” Bas assures, eyes wide. “Believe me, they do.”</p><p>Eliott is saved from having to respond to that by a flurry of other people entering the kitchen. And then the party’s in full swing, hospital personnel filling every space available in the small apartment, music thumping a low base and drinks flowing freely. In the main living room, the lights have been dimmed, a few lamps and strings of twinkling lights decorating the top of the walls, the only illumination. A makeshift dance floor has formed, coffee table, couches and chairs pushed to the sides of the room as people take advantage of their inebriated states to grind bodies together in something that closer resembles an orgy than it does dancing. The one given about people who work in a stressful industry, with extraordinarily exhausting hours and taxing emotional and physical demands, is that when they have an opportunity to party… they go hard.</p><p>Eliott finds himself migrating from group to group. He spends the initial part of the evening with Sofiane and Idriss, others coming and going as the three remain comfortably situated around the couch. That lasts about as long as it takes Manon to find her way towards them. “<em>May I join</em>?” She’d asked, red lips turned up in a slight smile. Eliott had taken one quick look at Sofiane and they’d silently agreed to bail, with Sofiane claiming he was going to go find Imane, and Eliott saying he’d go for drinks, though he had no intention of returning. Not with the way Manon and Idriss had turned to one another on the couch, tucked closely together with sweet smiles directed at one another.</p><p>
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</p><p>Through the night Eliott can’t help but track Lucas’s movements, ready to latch to any opportunity to talk to him alone but it doesn’t present itself. Lucas is almost always surrounded by a group of people hanging on his every word. And when there’s not a crowd blocking access to him, he’s tucked in intimate conversations with friends. But perhaps it’s for the best. Eliott isn’t even sure what he’d say, nor what he wants to say. The impulse remains just the same, and his eyes are unwittingly drawn to Lucas every time he comes into view. Lucas is drinking though he doesn’t appear to be nearly as trashed as some of their friends. Eliott too has had a couple drinks but prefers not to drink too heavily as mixing alcohol with the medication he takes for his bipolar disorder often results in unpleasant side effects.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes land on Lucas just as the other boy joins Yann and Emma at the edge of the pseudo-dancefloor. Lucas’s face is lit up with humour, his smile wide as Emma talks, gesturing wildly. Eliott hasn’t had an opportunity to talk with Yann or Emma so far that evening, and now seems just as good a time as any. Eliott excuses himself from the collected interns he’d been mildly engaged in conversation with in the hallway and begins weaving his way through the jam-packed bodies filling the apartment.</p><p>“Eliott!” A hand is moving over his bicep, and when Eliott turns towards the voice, the face smiling back at him is only vaguely familiar. It belongs to an attractive woman, likely a couple years younger than him. Her blonde hair is pulled up in a high ponytail, and her eyes rimmed with a dark smoky effect that makes the blue of them pop even more. Eliott can’t help but be reminded of the blue of someone else’s eyes that needs no additional framing to appear so piercing.</p><p>“Hi,” he greets warmly, hoping desperately for a more accurate recall to kick in and provide at the very least, a name. “How are you?”</p><p>“I’m good! It’s strange seeing everyone out of context, isn’t it?” She steps slightly closer to be heard over the din of voices surrounding them.</p><p>“Yes,” he agrees. “It’s nice though. It’s not like there’s a lot of chance for casual conversation in our jobs.” He holds his breath slightly, waiting to see if his comment is met with confusion, and only exhales when she nods.</p><p>“I know. I spend all day cooing at babies. Sometimes I forget how to carry on adult conversations,” she laughs. Cooing at babies? <em>One of the pediatric interns</em>, Eliott recalls with a rush of relief. She’d introduced herself in the cafeteria one day along with a couple of her fellow interns. Sarah? Célia? Claire? No. Clara. It’s <em>Clara</em>.</p><p>“That’s fair.” Eliott chuckles.</p><p>“I imagine it’s a little different for you in surgical. Adult conversations and all that.”</p><p>“You’d be surprised.” He glances slightly back towards Lucas to see their group has gained another. Eliott frowns. Jeremy. <em>Fucking Jeremy.</em></p><p>“What about you?”</p><p>Eliott turns back to Clara, alarmed to realize he’s clearly missed part of the conversation. “I’m sorry,” he offers an abashed smile, “I missed that.”</p><p>She smiles, thankfully not looking insulted. “I said I was going to go get another drink.” She tips her assumedly empty cup. “Would you like to join me?” It’s a clear invitation for more, as she bites her lip with sultry promise. Eliott takes a step back.</p><p>“I just need to say hi to some friends. But please, you go ahead.”</p><p>Her eyes flicker with disappointment. “Oh sure.” She smiles a little tentatively. “Maybe I could find you after?”</p><p>Eliott would rather she didn’t but he smiles and offers a quick, “Sure,” before backing from her and turning in his original direction. In the time he’s been distracted, Yann and Emma have apparently found other avenues of interest. Lucas stands alone with Jeremy now. As Eliott watches, Jeremy brings one hand to Lucas’s bicep as he talks, running it down the length of Lucas’s arm. Eliott realizes with interest that Lucas has rolled back down his shirt sleeves, his tattoo now firmly covered. Jeremy tilts his head closer as he speaks. Lucas nods but turns his head away. He doesn’t look particularly into the conversation and Eliott feels no guilt in interrupting. Unable to place himself between them without bodily shoving Jeremy away – a tempting notion but nothing Eliott would dare do – he instead moves around Jeremy, placing himself just to the side, facing Lucas.</p><p>“Oh,” Jeremy intones, straightening slightly in surprise at the sight of Eliott. “Eliott, hi.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t recall ever having met or spoken with Jeremy. He offers a polite smile and cursory nod before looking back at Lucas. Lucas’s eyes are fixed to a spot on Eliott’s chest. He inhales deeply before he looks up and meets Eliott’s gaze. His eyes are sharp and filled with challenge, as though daring Eliott to look away first. Eliott has no intention of doing so. His objective in interrupting had not been to engage Lucas in some sort of silent battle of wills Eliott doesn’t entirely understand, but it does serve in pulling Lucas’s attention from <em>fucking Jeremy</em>. Lucas’s chin tips up just slightly, and Eliott can’t quite decide whether it’s expectation or demand he finds in Lucas’s eyes. Clarity is less important than Eliott would have imagined, he wants to step closer either way. He’s about to in fact, when suddenly Lucas’s gaze is broken by Jeremy shoving him lightly in the shoulder in what is a poorly concealed attempt to regain his attention with exaggerated comradery.</p><p>“Lucas, look!” Jeremy laughs as he rests his arm around Lucas’s shoulders and leans close to him to motion at something over Eliott’s shoulder. “You were right. We should have put money on it!”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t bother looking over his shoulder, keeping his eyes on Lucas instead, and doing his best not to let his annoyance with Jeremy show. “Put money on what?”</p><p>Lucas’s jaw remains locked, his eyes over Eliott’s shoulder. It’s Jeremy who answers. “Oh, we were just taking bets on who would hook up first,” Jeremy laughs. The lack of detail in his explanation is transparent. It’s his way of saying, ‘<em>It’s an inside joke, you wouldn’t understand</em>.’ A way of laying claim. Eliott would laugh if he weren’t so irritated.</p><p>“Laughing at another’s expense. How nice.” It’s one of the more hypocritical things Eliott could ever imagine saying. He and Sofiane had placed bets only a half hour prior on whether Manon would be leaving that evening or choosing the bed of a certain best friend of theirs instead. But the comment has the intended effect. Lucas’s eyes flash, moving back to Eliott with renewed fire.</p><p>“You’re serving as moral guidepost for the evening? Funny. I hadn’t heard.” Lucas’s nostrils flare slightly, and he speaks with fury.</p><p>It’s as though a shot of adrenaline has been injected directly into Eliott’s veins. His heart pounds in his chest, blood buzzing through his veins, breath coming quicker. “Do you need one? Because I should warn you, it means acting like a human being every once in a while.”</p><p>“Oh hey –” Jeremy attempts to interrupt, but it’s of no use. Lucas’s focus is on Eliott alone. The knowledge fills Eliott with satisfaction to the core of his bones.</p><p>“Like you? Painting nails and trading the latest gossip with my patients? Because that’s more useful than saving lives?”</p><p>“Saving lives?” Eliott scoffs. “Wow. Here the rest of us are doing scut work while you’re out there saving lives. How’d you manage that?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “You could start by being a surgeon.”</p><p>“I <em>am</em> a surgeon,” Eliott bites fiercely, giving in to the urge to step closer to Lucas.</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Lucas tips his head up slightly towards Eliott, his voice just barely above a whisper, meant for no one else. “Prove it.”</p><p>Eliott finds his eyes dropping to Lucas’s lips when suddenly there’s a gentle hand on his arm. He looks to his side in surprise to see… oh <em>fuck</em>… Clara. Eliott really needs to learn how to let people down in a clearer fashion.</p><p>“Hi.” She smiles, eyes flicking between himself and Lucas. “Is everything ok?”</p><p>“Everything’s fine,” Lucas answers with faux-cheer, plastic smile spread across his face as he looks at Clara. Eliott wonders if he’s the only one who can see the threat in it. </p><p>“Ok,” Clara responds, obviously confused by antagonism radiating off Eliott and Lucas in waves. “I’m Clara. I don’t think we’ve met.”</p><p>“We haven’t.” Is Lucas’s only response.</p><p>“I’m Jeremy and this is Lucas,” Jeremy offers. His hand moves to Lucas’s arm, rubbing gently as though in comfort. Eliott has never wanted to rip hands off another body more.</p><p>“I’ve seen you around,” Clara tells Jeremy. “I’m pediatrics.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small sound, encapsulating both amusement and derision. His eyes have dropped to the ground, arms crossed in front of his chest. Eliott can’t stand it.</p><p>“What?” He challenges, satisfied only when Lucas’s eyes move back to him, expression fierce. “Something to say?”</p><p>“Lucas,” Jeremy interrupts, tugging lightly at Lucas’s arm, “what do you say we go dance? Show these fools how to do it?” Eliott bites down on the inside of his cheek.</p><p>Clara giggles. “You should! Everyone is so drunk it’s a travesty out there.”</p><p>Jeremy grins at her before looking back to Lucas. “Well?”</p><p>Lucas holds Eliott’s gaze for one more tension-filled moment, before he turns to Jeremy with a smile. “Sure. I’d love to.”</p><p>Jeremy’s face lights up with happiness, fingers moving down Lucas’s arm to take his hand as he begins pulling him away. “Nice to meet you, Clara,” he offers over his shoulder, looking briefly to Eliott as well. “See you, Eliott.”</p><p>Eliott stares after them as they move through a throng of gyrating bodies.         </p><p>“What do you say,” Clara asks, hands wrapping around his forearm, “shall we join them?” When Eliott turns to look at her, she wiggles her body in silly suggestion of a dance.</p><p>Eliott attempts a smile, eyes unwittingly turning back to seek Lucas out on the dance floor. He locates him easily, on the other side of the room. He’s facing Eliott and when he notices Eliott’s attention is on him, he moves closer to Jeremy, looping arms around his neck and pressing their bodies together. Eliott grinds his teeth.</p><p>“Sure.” He turns back to Clara, forcing something he hopes resembles a more genuine smile. “Let’s dance.”</p><p>When they move into the swarm of bodies Eliott centers himself in clear view of Lucas. He couldn’t say what his goal is, couldn’t honestly claim to be thinking with his head whatsoever – at least not the one found above his belt. Clara crowds him immediately, moving her body to the beat with ease, a sensual quality to the way she loops her arms around Eliott’s neck, lower body pressing and then grinding against him. He responds only slightly, hands moving gently to her waist as he sways, eyes locked over her shoulder on the maddening boy who refuses to look back. Lucas knows he’s there. Eliott is sure of it. He knows – Lucas <em>knows</em> Eliott’s eyes are on him as he dances, hopping slightly on his feet with a bright smile. He’s slightly off beat, his movements just a touch too energetic for the slower tempo. It’s incredibly charming.</p><p>“You’re a good dancer.” Clara presses her mouth to Eliott’s ear as she speaks, allowing her to move even closer, a thigh pressing up against Eliott now, where despite his lack of interest, he finds his traitorous body responding.</p><p>“Thanks,” he offers back, though the compliment is utterly laughable. When trying, Eliott’s dancing has been described (by Idriss) as an, “excitable puppy who hasn’t gotten his walks that day.” What Eliott is doing at present is barely passable as dancing at all. He’s never been under any false allusions that he was a particularly good dancer. But then, Eliott is quite aware that’s not Clara’s goal. She moves with intent now, grinding against Eliott’s thigh and in doing so, driving her own purposefully into Eliott’s dick, soft in his pants but growing more interested by the second.</p><p>Eliott shifts slightly, eyelids fluttering with an inhale, and finds his gaze drawn up once more, only this time, Lucas is looking back. Eliott’s mouth parts, moving into the heat of the body pressing back as he lets himself look, unabashed for once, steadfastly drinking in the sight of Lucas, out of breath, a little sweaty now, and looking back.</p><p>Lucas’s jaw is locked, former smile nowhere to be seen. His eyes flash, moving to lock on Clara before narrowing. The back of Jeremy’s head is suddenly impeding Eliott’s view as he leans forward to whisper intimately to Lucas, and Lucas takes advantage. He latches to Jeremy, pulling him close with hands moving across his shoulders. Jeremy is taller than Lucas, but he stoops to accommodate, gladly molding his body to Lucas’s as they move to the music. Eliott grinds his teeth. There’s nothing indifferent about the way he’s watching Lucas. He knows it… and so does Lucas. </p><p>Eliott slides his hands around Clara, running them up her back as she moves her body against his, less a dance now than a simulation of her goals for where the evening should be leading. Lucas responds by tilting his head back slightly, exposing the length of his neck, allowing Jeremy to dip his head and press kisses there. Lucas’s eyes flutter at the contact, but they don’t close. They stay locked on Eliott, the blue of them piercing even through the dim light of the room. Eliott glides his hand higher, until he reaches the back of Clara’s neck. He grips, holding her tightly, as he dips his head and presses lips to her hair. Lucas flinches, from Eliott’s actions or the way Jeremy has gripped his hips to pull him closer, Eliott isn’t sure, but he doesn’t like it. Eliott raises his head, straightening slightly, movements slowing as he drops his hands back to Clara’s waist. Jeremy is moving against Lucas more actively now, grip tight to Lucas’s hips, head buried in his neck. Lucas’s gaze cuts away. Eliott’s movements freeze as he watches Lucas push back from Jeremy.</p><p>“Are you ok?” It’s Clara speaking but Eliott can’t look away from Lucas. Jeremy has grabbed his arm, but Lucas shakes it off, looking as though he’s offering an apology, before he turns and begins pushing through the surrounding bodies.</p><p>“I’m…” Eliott begins as he tracks Lucas’s movements. He’s moving towards the back hall. “I’m fine,” Eliott gently moves Clara back from his body, “just feeling a little woozy, actually.” Her hands fall to her sides as he begins backing away, glancing quickly to see Lucas moving to the door at the end of the hallway. “I’m going to find the washroom. Sorry. Please excuse me.” He’s pretty sure she calls out after him, suggesting he find her when he comes back, but he’s too busy pushing through the crowd to respond.</p><p>He gets to the hallway quickly; driven by purpose he doesn’t allow himself to examine too deeply. There are less people in this part of the apartment. As it leads to Sofiane and Idriss’s bedrooms, both of which have been firmly stated to be off-limits, only a couple of people have collected in the space, tucked back into the shadows as they engage in intimate conversations. Eliott moves past them swiftly. He doesn’t stop as he reaches the door at the end of the hall. He knows where it leads, and he doesn’t allow himself to consider his actions as he reaches for the door handle. It’s unlocked and he pushes it open, swiftly moving into the bathroom and swinging it shut behind him, being sure to flick the lock before he turns around, pressing his back to the door.</p><p>He’s not sure whether he’s relieved or disappointed to find Lucas fully clothed. He’s pushed himself back against the bathroom counter, hands gripping the ledge as he stares wide eyed at Eliott. “Wha – what are you doing?” Eliott is fairly certain he meant for the question to be a demand, but it’s too breathy and startled for that. His Adam’s apple bobs as he swallows.</p><p>“Why did you leave?” Eliott’s voice is already more deeply affected than he would have expected, raw and desperate. “Why did you come in here?” It’s a ridiculous question. It’s a bathroom. Lucas could laugh at him for asking something so absurd, could point out it’s a private space and Eliott had no business entering. But he doesn’t. His face remains open and guileless, chest rising rapidly as he struggles to control the rhythm of his breath. He doesn’t answer.</p><p>They stare at one another, gazes unwavering, the silence stretching between them as the distant beat of music and intoxicated revelry continues just on the other side of the door. The reverberations of sound vibrate through the wood, extending into Eliott’s body, matching a buzz in his blood he can’t credit the party with. Not when Lucas looks like that, not when he’s looking at <em>Eliott</em> like that.  Lucas’s tongue darts out to wet his lips, leaving behind shining pink lips, just a little swollen – like he’d been worrying them between teeth.</p><p>Eliott’s hands move to his own body. He reaches for his belt.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Lucas gasps, chest heaving as his eyes dart between Eliott’s face and hands.</p><p>Eliott works slowly, carefully unbuckling his belt before his fingers move to the button on his jeans. He pauses. “What do you think I’m doing?”</p><p>“I’m not going to let you fuck me.” Lucas tips his chin up in mild defiance, but his hands have moved, crossing all too obviously to block his crotch from view.</p><p>Eliott chuckles, a low rumbling sound, already so turned on it nearly chokes him, desire thick and stifling in the air. “I didn’t ask to.” He flicks open the button on his pants, reaching for the zipper and exhaling in relief as he lowers it. It would seem the potent combination of dancing with a warm body pressed up against him, and Lucas… <em>Lucas</em>… is enough to have the confines of his too-tight jeans feel far more suffocating against his dick than they should be, at least not without touch, not without the expectation of <em>Lucas’s </em>touch, a touch he won’t receive.</p><p>He moves his hands to push off the door and Lucas sucks in a sharp, stuttered breath, as though expecting Eliott to advance on him. Eliott won’t do anything of the sort – not without an invitation. He moves to the side instead, leaning back against the wall adjacent the sink. Lucas turns with him. Looking slightly unsteady on his feet, he keeps his hip pressed to the edge of the counter, one hand moves to press against the surface while his other stays at his pants, fingers running restlessly back and forth at the waist.</p><p>“You can leave,” Eliott offers, gesturing with one hand towards the door before bringing it back to hook a thumb to the top of his briefs. “You don’t have to stay,” he tries desperately not to show how very much he doesn’t want Lucas to choose that option, “but I’m getting myself off.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth falls opens, eyes dropping down to the hand Eliott is using to spread his pants open further. “You’re –” His voice breaks, and he cuts himself off, swallowing heavily before raising his eyes to meet Eliott’s once more, pupils swallowing the blue. “You’re just going to jerk off? With me here?” He makes no move for the door.</p><p>Eliott’s breath is coming harder. He uses one hand to pull his shirt up, just enough to offer an unimpeded view of his lower belly, and his hand – his fingers, slipping down, beneath the elastic waist of his briefs. He pauses as he reaches his pubic bone, scratching nails lightly against the smattering of hair he finds there and shivering at the sensation. When he speaks it’s as though he’s in the midst of punishing exercise, his breath short and voice strained. “That depends if you st – stay.” He moves his hand down, until he’s able to firmly grip the base of his cock and can’t help but release a low groan as he does so, the feeling of contact near blissful. It’s a tight fit, the unyielding confines of his jeans not allowing for ease of movement, but he’ll make do, if only for that desperate look in Lucas’s eyes – a perfect, opposing mix of trepidation and impatience.</p><p>“And I’m –” Lucas’s voice is thready, weak and affected. “I’m supposed to watch?”</p><p>Eliott slides his hand against his cock, feeling it fill with blood and fatten in his grip. “If you want,” he breathes, tipping his head back slightly to press against the wall. He grips the head, palming at the sensitive tip, and calling on all levels of restraint to keep his movements slow, as the skin stretches and heats. His gaze falls down Lucas’s body, down to where his fingers fiddle restlessly with the button of his pants, then further, to where the dark shade of Lucas’s slacks does nothing to hide the way he’s straining against them. Eliott squeezes his eyes shut for just a moment, giving in to the feverish need to tighten his grip, to stroke, too slow to offer significant relief, but enough to soothe the swell of want surging inside him. “Or you –” He sucks in air desperately. “Or you can…” He means to finish the thought but it’s all he can get out, tongue darting out to wet his lips as he smooths his hand up, then down. It’s a dry, rough grip, and he collects what he can from the weeping tip of his cock. It would be better slick, better out of the denim of his jeans, but there’s something intoxicating about it too, the knowledge of what he’s doing, just barely hidden from Lucas’s view, his cock in hand as Lucas’ watches.</p><p>Lucas blinks slowly, eyes on the quickening pace of Eliott’s hand moving beneath his cotton briefs, before he shakes his head, lids squeezing shut as he expels a harsh gust of air. He moves forward a couple of steps. Eliott’s breath stutters but Lucas doesn’t make contact, stopping within arms reach, and reaching for his pants. He pushes up his sleeves as he does so and his tattoo reveals itself, bright in the glare of the bathroom lights. Eliott’s hand freezes, grip tight around the length of his straining erection as he watches Lucas unclasp his pants, ripping the zipper open with one harsh, angry movement, and then his hand is disappearing, slipping down into his underwear. His pants are a lose, more formal slack, but his briefs are tight, and the clear outline of his fist moving, wrapping around the length of his erection and without pause beginning to stroke, is enough to have Eliott releasing a low moan, matching Lucas’s movements with his own.</p><p>Lucas’s face is slack, eyes fixed on the movements of Eliott’s hand. And Eliott can feel it, Lucas’s pleasure, as though it were his own. He feels it from his toes to the tip of his cock, pleasure receptors alive with sensation. The feeling is so intense, so surreal, it leaves time feeling suspended, as though nothing exists beyond this moment, these feverish movements, the small sounds released from Lucas’s throat, tiny grunts of pleasure he doesn’t seem aware he’s making.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott breathes, increasing the pace of his hand, swiping his thumb against the tip of his cock, before twisting lower, grip harsh and glide punishing. But it feels good. <em>Too good</em>. He’s not going to last. “Lucas,” he repeats, and this time Lucas’s eyes snap to him. “Fuck, Lucas,” Eliott breathes, no intent behind the words, merely driven by an impulse to say them, to <em>know</em>, who he’s with. Lucas.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas chokes out. The effect of his voice saying Eliott’s name is instantaneous. Heat surging from Eliott’s belly to settle in his balls. “Eliott,” Lucas repeats, his motions so frantic now his body heaves with them, moving in time with the way he fucks his own hand, “can I… can I –” He doesn’t finish the question, eyes half-lidded and teeth moving to bite harshly at his bottom lip as he stares at Eliott.</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott answers anyways. “Yes.”</p><p>Lucas lurches forward, free hand moving to Eliott’s neck as he pulls him down, and then they’re kissing. Eliott expected it and yet he didn’t. He’s not sure he ever could have truly expected the way it would feel – kissing Lucas. He presses into the kiss and it’s rough and messy, lips moving desperately against one another as they search for release, the movements of their bodies pulling them together and apart. Eliott bites at Lucas’s lower lip, pulling it into his mouth with a tug as the other boy groans, hand moving into Eliott’s hair and tightening, in retaliation or repayment, Eliott isn’t sure. It doesn’t matter. It’s good either way. So good.</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott breathes against Lucas’s lips, bringing one hand up to grip Lucas’s jaw, to pull him closer, to sink his tongue into Lucas’s mouth as he moves his other hand to grip the head of his cock, to tug frantically at slick skin, as he inches closer and closer to a precipice he can’t come back from. He doesn’t want to.</p><p>Lucas meets Eliott’s tongue with his own, but the movements of the arm working his cock are growing choppy, and his mouth slack. Eliott retreats slightly, pressing a sloppy kiss to Lucas’s lips before tipping their foreheads together and opening his eyes to watch, to drink in the sight of Lucas lost to his search for release. Lucas’s mouth falls open further, breath short and uneven, and his eyes open, rest on Eliott’s for a moment before dropping, down to where the tip of Eliott’s cock peaks from the top of his briefs, red and swollen, and shining with precum as Eliott’s hand works it over.</p><p>Lucas licks his lips, brows bunching together. He groans loudly, mouth dropping open and hand slowing as his body seizes and locks. And then he’s shaking apart with his orgasm, shuddering against Eliott with eyes squeezing shut and muscles contracting again and again.</p><p>“Lucas…” Eliott whines, frantic now. His grip moves down to the side of Lucas’s neck, tightening there until the feeling is unbearable, and he gives himself over to it, dropping his hand to catch his release as he comes, body wracked with pleasure. He squeezes his eyes shut as he lets it course through him in waves, pleasure spreading from his throbbing cock, all the way to the back of his neck, where the tips of Lucas’s fingers press.</p><p>They both breathe for a time as their bodies come down, foreheads pressed together as the frantic beat of their hearts slow, until finally, after seconds or minutes Eliott can’t be sure, Lucas raises his head, separating their point of contact, as he takes a step back, hand dropping away from Eliott’s body. Eliott raises eyes to him warily, the aftereffects of his orgasm blurring his ability to read the situation clearly.</p><p>The glare of the bathroom light seems harsh now, details of the cramped and cluttered room, filtering slowly into Eliott’s consciousness. And Lucas’s face. Eliott becomes aware of his face, no longer slack with pleasure but tightened with panic now. More details filter in, the sweat clinging to Eliott’s shirt, his hand cupped close to his body and still holding the remnants of his orgasm, and… the reality of what they’ve just done.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Lucas breathes, eyes wide. He turns swiftly to the bathroom sink, rushing to wash his hands before he’s pulling back, moving to fasten his pants just as quickly. He’s not looking at Eliott.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott tries, voice throaty, evidence of the pleasure they’ve found together.</p><p>“Don’t.” Lucas looks back to him, panic now given way to fury. “Why the fuck did you do that?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott finds an incredulous laugh escaping his throat. He shakes his head as he takes in the set of Lucas’s jaw, the indignant tilt of his chin. “Are you seriously going to act like you didn’t want it just as much?” He moves towards the sink, brushing up against Lucas who refuses to move back completely. His hands shake as he runs them under the stream of the faucet. He glances up to meet Lucas’s eyes in the mirror, calling on false bravado even while his heart ricochets in his chest. “Make this my fault?”</p><p>“You followed me in here!” Lucas glares, pulling a hand up into his hair, he grips the strands, tugging harshly and Eliott has a moment of regret for not having done the same when he’d had the chance. “And now – <em>fuck!</em>”</p><p>“Now what?” Eliott swings around, wiping his hands on his pants and reaching down to refasten them. “Now we’ve gotten off in the same room? Sound the doomsday alarms.” It feels wrong to be so dismissive, so condescending, but at the sight of anger on Lucas’s face, the words rush out, snappy and defensive.</p><p>“You’re a fucking asshole.” Lucas eyes fall to Eliott’s hands before quickly cutting away, his arms moving to cross against his chest.</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “You still got off with me.” There’s satisfaction in the fact and Eliott knows it reads clearly in his voice.</p><p>“Prick,” Lucas mumbles, face turned away and said more to himself than Eliott.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. “Made you come didn’t it?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes snap back to him, flashing with anger but… there’s something else there too. Something Eliott is coming to recognize. Not affection, no. Not even like. But lust. It’s there, clear as day. Lucas <em>wants </em>him. And suddenly Lucas is pushing back into his space. Eliott barely has a chance to react before Lucas is yanking him back down and pressing their mouths back together. But Eliott is not about to waste the opportunity. He clutches Lucas’s body to him, running hands up and through his hair, gripping the strands as he takes control of the kiss, slanting their mouths together harshly. Lucas softens immediately in his hold, mouth open and eager, body pliable as Eliott runs one hand down to his waist, drawing him closer as he licks across Lucas’s lower lip. When just as quickly as the kiss began, it’s over.</p><p>Lucas pushes Eliott back with one firm movement, hands planted to Eliott’s chest before dropping away. He presses a hand to his face looking pained.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas groans. His drops his arm and stares for a moment more before swinging towards the door. He grabs for the door handle, turning it ineffectually before realizing it’s locked. He fumbles with the latch until an audible release is heard. One last look over his shoulder, eyes wild and more than a little frantic, and he’s gone. Eliott watches the door shut behind him and turns back to the bathroom mirror.</p><p>He presses hands to the edge of the counter, leaning over and inhaling a steadying breath before he looks up. There’s something satisfying about the picture he makes, hair pulled from the carefully disheveled style he had set with gel prior to the party, now a truly chaotic mess, lips red and swollen, eyes glazed, and pupils dilated. </p><p>He smiles.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott scans the living room as he re-enters the space. The energy from the crowd remaining has changed, a more sloppy, exhausted quality to those lingering on the ‘dance floor’ and on couches and assorted chairs. He spots a few familiar faces. Idriss has relocated to a table near the side of the room where he stands with Sofiane and Imane. A few of the surgical interns have congregated in a corner, Yann, Emma, and Alex among them but no Lucas. No Manon either. Perhaps they left? Eliott frowns. He wouldn’t blame Lucas of course. There’s nothing quite like going back to a party and trying to behave normally after hooking up with… the bane of one existence in another friend’s bathroom. All the same, Eliott had hoped… well, he’s not entirely sure. For another heated stand-off while pressed to another person’s body?</p><p>Another terrible possibility for Lucas’s absence enters Eliott’s mind and he finds himself quickly scanning all corners of the room once more. But no, he finds Jeremy standing in the hall to the kitchen with another intern Eliott vaguely recognizes. He exhales with relief he doesn’t want to consider too closely, when suddenly there’s a warm body pressing intimately up against his side. Eliott tenses, fearing once again Clara, persistent and entirely too determined, has found him. When he turns however it’s a familiar and much more welcome face grinning back.</p><p>“Anna,” Eliott smiles confused, “what are you doing here?”</p><p>She shrugs, gesturing in Idriss’s general direction. “Your boy invited me. Said you needed to get laid.”</p><p>Eliott gapes, swinging his head Idriss’s direction before back to Anna. “You have to be joking.”</p><p>“His exact words, I believe,” she tips her head back, eyes swinging up as though to recall, “<em>Batgirl, Eli is horny and lonely. Please come save him</em>.” She laughs.</p><p>“I’m going to fucking kill him,” Eliott groans.</p><p>“You realize you don’t need to text me through friends, yeah? I’m down.” She winks, stepping back slightly with a hand on her hip. And she looks good of course. She always does. And she clearly knows it. But Eliott…</p><p>“Anna,” he begins, apology saturating his voice, “I’m sorry. I didn’t know he was going to do that. And I…” He’s not sure how to explain himself, how to state why he can’t be with her. He and Lucas aren’t together – aren’t even a semblance of being together. Neither are Eliott and Anna. But the thought of being with two different people in one night… even if his body rallied and was physically <em>up</em> to it… he just… could never do so. It would be disrespectful to both Lucas and Anna. Everything about the thought feels wrong. “I can’t.”</p><p>“Hey,” her eyebrows pull together in concern, clearly sensing Eliott’s distress, “what’s going on? Are you ok?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott assures as they drop their voices, moving more closely together so as not to be overheard, “I’m fine. I just – I don’t mean to jerk you around and –”</p><p>“Eliott,” she laughs, “you know you don’t <em>have </em>to sleep with me, right? We owe one another nothing. It’s fine.”</p><p>“I know,” he agrees. “I just don’t want you to think it’s because of you. You’re…” He trails off, gesturing vaguely towards her with an awed shake of his head.</p><p>She grins. “Oh, I know.”</p><p><em>“Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt</em>.” A quiet voice speaks from beside Eliott, and he turns to see none other than… Clara. For the love of all things stage-five-clinger, Eliott is gonna lose his mind. Of fucking course<em>.</em> She smiling but there’s a wary quality to her gaze, eyes tracking to Anna before planting back on Eliott. “I wanted to make sure you were feeling better. Maybe we could finish our dance?” She reaches to clasp hands around his forearm.</p><p>“Oh,” there’s suppressed laughter in Anna’s voice as she looks on Clara, “I think he’s feeling just fine now. I’m going to –”</p><p>“Go!” Eliott interrupts, reaching somewhat frantically to pull Anna into his side by the waist. She stumbles slightly, eyebrows shooting up in surprise but doesn’t resist. Eliott looks back to Clara, shaking her hands off his arm gently. “I’m better but Anna and I are were just about to leave.” He cringes internally at subjecting Clara to such a blatant rejection, but at present cannot imagine a better way to handle the situation.</p><p>“Oh.” Clara’s smile drops, eyes moving to Eliott’s hand tight on Anna’s waist. “I see.” A frown pulls at her mouth now as she looks back to Eliott, her eyes more cutting than before. “Well, have a good night. I’m sure I’ll see you around the hospital, Eliott.” It sounds noticeably like a threat. She turns and strides away, back to where Eliott can see a number of other women waiting for her. He grimaces and makes a  note to avoid going to pediatrics to watch the cute newborns anytime soon.</p><p>“<em>Okayyyyyy</em>,” Anna intones, turning to face him with an eyebrow cocked at the ready. “You wanna tell me what that was about?”</p><p>“Not really,” Eliott sighs, cutting his eyes away from where Clara and her friends are now looking towards him with less than agreeable looks on their faces. “Can we please just go?”</p><p>Anna nods, shaking her head with a slight laugh. “Sure, babe.” She reaches down to link their hands, throwing him a quick wink and, “for appearances,” before she pulls him down the hall towards the door. “You don’t need to say bye to anyone?” She asks, glancing back at him.</p><p>He shakes his head. “I’ll kill Idriss tomorrow.” She laughs and leads the way out of the apartment.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Anna turns to him as they reach the curb outside Idriss and Sofiane’s apartment building.</p><p>“You know that little scene you pulled prevented me from hooking up with anyone else. So not only am I not getting laid by you, I’m not getting laid at all.” She looks more amused than annoyed, and Eliott meets her comment with a low laugh.</p><p>“You already know it would be way too weird if you hooked up with any of my friends anyways.”</p><p>She sighs but nods in agreement. “A true pity. You have some hot friends.”</p><p>“I am sorry, though,” he says more seriously. “It really isn’t that I don’t want to sleep with you. I just – I don’t want to sleep with anyone.” <em>Else</em>. He keeps it to himself but it’s there. He doesn’t want to sleep with anyone else. No one but <em>him</em>. Fuck.</p><p>“You don’t have to explain,” she dismisses. “But I Uber’ed it here and I’m just saying, if I’m not getting an orgasm from you tonight, the least I could get is an Uber.”</p><p>He laughs, pulling out his phone. “I’ll order it.” He brings up the app and quickly orders a car to their location. When he looks back up, she’s eyeing him speculatively. “What?” He asks curiously.</p><p>“It’s just…” She looks away for a moment, out into the darkened street. When her eyes move back to him there’s an insecurity in them Eliott doesn’t recognize – at least not coming from Anna. “We’re ok? I mean you’re good to keep doing this? Because I leave tomorrow. I’ll be back by next weekend, and I was assuming we’d…”</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott smiles, moving to cup the side of her face in comfort, and ignoring the churning in his gut as he reassures her. “Yes, we’re good. Of course we are. Have a good trip. We’ll see one another when you get back, ok?” She nods, looking relieved, and he moves to press a kiss to her cheek.</p><p>Next weekend. He’ll have his head sorted by then.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>There’s a buzz beneath Eliott’s skin as he walks into the hospital for shift the following week. It’s different than the usual, ‘<em>wow I’m really walking into a hospital as a surgeon’</em> buzz he’s had since beginning as an intern a couple months back. This is anticipation manifested as physical sensation, a tingling running through all of his limbs, and a frenetic sort of energy adding a bounce to his step.</p><p>He’s going to see Lucas today. And perhaps that thought should evoke more caution, trepidation even – they certainly didn’t leave things in a way that provided clarity or comfort – but instead there’s a hopeful flutter to the emotion building in Eliott’s gut. He’s not kidding himself in thinking Lucas will greet him with open arms, but the fact of the matter is, things have <em>changed</em>. There’s no way for Lucas to deny that. And in the context of what happened between them, Eliott can’t help but look at their animosity in new light. He remembers that flash in Lucas’s eyes – lust – that irritation transformed into something different, something that had Lucas pulling Eliott back for another kiss. That kiss. Eliott’s skin tingles as he remembers it, the eager way Lucas pressed their lips together, how quickly he gave into the demands of Eliott’s mouth and hands. There’s just… no going back from it.</p><p>Emma’s walking down the hall as Eliott rounds the corner to the locker room. He smiles at the sight of her.</p><p>“Hey.” She returns his smile as they come to a stop in front of one another. “Missed seeing your cute butt getting ready for work this morning.”</p><p>He laughs lightly. “Yeah, I noticed I didn’t have to fight for the bathroom as much as usual.” He tilts his head slightly and assesses her. “You two stayed at your place?” He asks the question with caution. It’s a bit of a surprise quite honestly. Emma and Alex only ever stayed over at Alex, Eliott, and Lucille’s apartment. In fact, it had been the subject of a fairly animated fight one quiet morning when Lucille and Eliott had been trying to enjoy a peaceful breakfast and instead had been subjected to a shouting match between the two lovers that had concluded in an even louder round of sex. Lucille and Eliott had fled – in pajamas and all – to the local café to escape. What Eliott recalls from what he’d been forced to overhear is that Emma <em>never </em>brought hookups back to her place. This seemed less to do with her roommates – as Yann and Lucas both got along with Alex perfectly fine – and more to do with Emma’s carefully set boundaries where intimacy is concerned. It was something Alex had loudly objected to – claiming the fact that they had spent nearly every night together over the course of the past two months, made them far more than a casual hookup. Eliott agreed but it wasn’t an argument he was about to wade into, and he’d kept his mouth shut on the subject.</p><p>Emma hums. “Yeah. Guess I’m falling in love with him.” She says it so casually, and with such ease, initially Eliott doesn’t even realize the enormity of the words she’s spoken. When he does, he promptly chokes.</p><p>Coughing and pounding his chest with one hand, he stares at her in shock. “You’re – you’re in love with him?”</p><p>She shrugs, looks unfussed by Eliott’s far more dramatic reaction to the news. “Guess so. Anyways,” she moves around him, walking backwards as she departs, “I’m gonna go grab some breakfast. See you in a few.”</p><p>Eliott nods, unable to stop staring after her with his jaw hanging open. He doesn’t think he’s ever known someone so entirely relaxed and unapologetic about feeling something as momentous as love – nor known someone brave enough to state it as if there weren’t enormous and terrifying emotional risks in doing so. He admires her so much, the sudden onslaught of feeling is nearly swamping and even more ridiculously, his eyes blur slightly with unshed tears. He chuckles to himself, wiping discreetly at his eyes as he turns and continues towards the door to the locker room.</p><p>There are a few people milling about, no one Eliott knows particularly well and he offers only a cursory smile and nod as he moves towards his locker. The voices speaking on the other side of the locker room however, those are familiar and Eliott’s ears perk.</p><p>“Yeah, ‘cause this is your attitude when you’re <em>not </em>frustrated.” Yann’s voice is rich with sarcasm.</p><p>“You’re being a monumental dick right now,” Lucas replies, voice quiet but audible.</p><p>“No, that would be you,” Yann replies with a low chuckle. “I’m just saying –”</p><p>“I swear to god,” Lucas interrupts, voice a fierce whisper, too annoyed to truly lower the volume at which he speaks, “if you say I need to get laid one more time.”</p><p>“I’m the one that has to live <em>and </em>work with you,” Yann snorts, “and you are way more prickly than usual. That’s all I’m saying.”</p><p>The door to the locker room swings open and Lisa and Jeremy enter. Eliott frowns, looking away from them quickly to pull on his scrubs top as they move behind him to their own lockers.</p><p>“But he’s the best in his field,” Jeremy is saying. “You can’t discount that just because he’s a man.”</p><p>“Oh no, I definitely can,” Lisa replies with no inflection to her voice whatsoever. Eliott reaches to throw his bag in his locker to muffle the sound of his laugh.</p><p>“Hi Eliott,” Jeremy greets, far too loudly and enthusiastically. Eliott can’t help but note the way Yann and Lucas’s voices have gone silent.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott glances back at him disinterestedly, too distracted by the sight of another bag in his locker to give Jeremy much attention. He’d forgotten he had it. Lucas’s scrubs and lab coat. He’d washed them both and put them in his locker the previous week with the intention of using it as an excuse to talk to Lucas. Only then Lucas had done his level best to avoid him, clearly not feeling a need to seek out Eliott to retrieve the belongings.</p><p>“Lucas!”</p><p>Eliott turns at the sound of Jeremy’s enthusiastic greeting, to see Lucas and Yann come into view as they make their way to the exit of the locker room. Lucas’s eyes skitter quickly over Eliott before they land on Jeremy.</p><p>“Hey, Jeremy,” Lucas smiles slightly, his lack of enthusiasm an obvious contrast to the boy staring back – though Eliott will admit he’s maybe not the most impartial judge. “Lisa,” Lucas includes, nodding towards her. She offers no more than a ‘mmhmm’ as she leaves them to walk towards the change rooms.</p><p>“How are you?” Jeremy asks, taking a step closer to Lucas. Eliott busies himself with pulling the bag of Lucas’s clothing from his locker and shoving in his gym bag instead, turning and dropping the retrieved bag onto the bench.</p><p>“I’m good, yeah,” Lucas shifts on his feet and when Eliott glances up it’s to the sight of Lucas’s eyes darting away. “Yann and I were just…” Lucas motions to the door and takes a step back to indicate their leaving.</p><p>“Have you thought about what I asked?” Jeremy asks as though Lucas hadn’t just signaled he clearly wants to take leave of the conversation. Eliott grits his teeth, picking up his phone and feigning the checking of messages. “Dinner?” Jeremy continues. “We could go tomorrow, or – or tonight even?” He’s so earnest, a sort of unfiltered eagerness that makes it physically painful to listen to him.</p><p>“Um,” Lucas stalls, and Eliott glances out of the corner of his eye to see Lucas dipping his head, raking his hair back from his forehead in obvious discomfort, “I – well, I’m not sure I’m –”   </p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott interrupts. Lucas’s eyes move to him immediately, wide and surprised before his expression shutters closed. Eliott tries not to smile. He lifts the bag on the bench, “I have your clothes,” and reaches forward to hand them over. Lucas takes the bag, brows scrunching, and he looks into it in confusion. Eliott knows the moment he realizes, motions freezing. He looks back up, line of his jaw sharp, and eyes narrowed in irritation. The sight shouldn’t have Eliott’s heartbeat accelerating, a pulse of desire moving through his body so swiftly it leaves him feeling slightly light-headed.</p><p>“His clothes?” Jeremy’s voice breaks into the fog surrounding them, a slight laugh to it. “Why on earth do you have his clothes?” He asks as though there could be no rational explanation for Eliott ever possessing Lucas’s clothes. Like a relationship – of <em>any </em>kind – between them is absurd. Eliott’s gaze cuts to him, prepared to offer an absolutely withering response. Lucas speaks before he’s able.</p><p>“We just…” He waves the bag slightly in the air as he seeks to explain. “We got puked on by a patient and Eliott washed them,” he settles on, eyes landing back on Eliott, gaze cold now. “It was nothing.” Eliott frowns. Lucas turns to Yann. “You mind throwing this in your locker for me?” Yann’s eyes shift between Lucas and Eliott. It’s clear he knows there’s more to the story, but he does as told with a brief nod, grabbing the bag and moving away towards their lockers.</p><p>“Nothing, hunh?” Eliott can’t help but speak, eyes narrowed in challenge. “I remember it being a bit more memorable than that.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth pulls up at the corners in the beginnings of an unkind smile. “Funny. I barely remember it at all.”</p><p>“Really?” Jeremy laughs. “I don’t know if I could forget something like that.” Eliott has to wonder if he’s genuinely completely blind to the tension in the air, or if he’s choosing to ignore it.</p><p>“Jeremy,” Lucas looks back to him, a smile plastered to his face that reads laughably fake, “about that dinner?”</p><p>Jeremy nods eagerly. “Yeah! You want to? We can go whenever – and wherever you want. I’m free – um, any time really.” He laughs again, nearly bouncing out of his skin in excitement. Eliott bites the inside of his cheek, glare turned on Lucas with as much ferocity as he can manage… he probably just looks constipated.</p><p>“Tonight,” Lucas says with a smile, glancing towards Yann who’s come to stand beside him, before looking back to Jeremy. “We’ll go after shift, yeah?”</p><p>“Yes,” Jeremy agrees quickly. “That sounds – yah, that sounds amazing. Ok. Um, awesome. After shift.”</p><p>Lucas nods. His gaze moves to Eliott, expression unreadable, his eyes linger for a moment before he’s turning to Yann and with a slight nod, they’re turning and leaving. The moment they’re alone, Jeremy pumps his fist in the air with an ecstatic “<em>Fuck yes!” </em>It’s then that he realizes Eliott remains just to his side. His cheeks redden. “Oh, sorry. I just…” He doesn’t finish his thought, turning embarrassed back to his locker and fumbling with his clothes.</p><p>Eliott stands for a moment more, staring at the closed locker room door, before turning summarily back to his own locker. He slams it closed.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott drags his feet, lost in thought as he makes his way down the hall. His mind is a tug-of-war of emotions. On one side there’s that recognisable thrill, of baiting Lucas and getting him to bite, of seeing that familiar flash in his eyes, of knowing no one can get to Lucas quite the way he can, but on the other side there’s… this: a gnawing in his gut, a painful emptiness like too much acid in one’s stomach after a skipped breakfast, and a festering anger he doesn’t want to focus on. He doesn’t know what side he’d like to see win, doesn’t even know if he has any control over the matter.</p><p>As Eliott rounds the corner and the nurse’s station comes into view, another issue rears its head in the form of Idriss standing talking to Daphne. Eliott sighs. He hates being angry with Idriss. He hates Idriss being angry with him. As a matter of fact, they rarely fight. At least not about anything of real consequence. And Eliott is almost never the one doing the telling off. This is unchartered territory and he feels entirely uncomfortable with it. He was right to be angry with Idriss, but a little time and distance and he can also perhaps recognize he was far harsher than the situation called for.</p><p>Daphne sees Eliott first and greets him with a chirped, “Hi Eliott!” Idriss turns as she does.</p><p>Eliott looks to him warily but there’s no reservation on his friend’s face, no anger either. He offers a quick, “Hey, man,” before turning back to Daphne. Eliott’s shoulders relax.</p><p>“Hey.” Eliott smiles at them both. “You guys good?”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Daphne replies and there’s something about her tone that has Eliott looking back to her as she continues, “and what about you? You sure seemed to have a good time at Idriss’s party.”</p><p>Eliott’s heart stutters to a near stop. It feels as though his blood has frozen in his veins. Does she know? How could she know? Lucas would never say anything. Were they seen?</p><p>“I –” Eliott attempts, heart rabbiting to life. “I – I wasn’t –”</p><p>“Goldilocks,” Idriss interrupts, “you even think about spreading rumours…”</p><p>Her smile immediately transforms as she swings a glare on Idriss. “Relax, muscles, I’m not the one spreading anything. The other nurses though...”</p><p>“Wait.” Eliott looks between them. “What are you guys talking about?”</p><p>There’s a pause as they both look back at him when suddenly Daphne is leaning in, eyes lit up with obvious excitement about whatever it is she’s about to say. “Is it true you were going to hook up with that Clara girl from peds but ended up going home with someone else?”</p><p>Eliott gapes. This is about… Clara? He’d be relieved only… he thinks he’d rather people knew about he and Lucas. “What? That isn’t – that’s not how –”</p><p>“That chick was all over him, Daphne,” Idriss cuts in. “Now she’s just pissed she couldn’t get with him.”</p><p>“Ok, her name is Clara,” Daphne sniffs as though she hadn’t just referred to her as ‘that Clara girl’ seconds prior, “try to sound less like a dickhead? And I’m just telling you what I heard!”</p><p>“Heard? Heard from who?” And more importantly, how many people know? Does… Lucas know – know that Eliott left with Anna?</p><p>Daphne shrugs, looking mildly apologetic as she answers, “A bunch of the girls,” Nurses she means, “are friends with the peds girls.” She looks at Idriss. “You <em>know </em>how gossip spreads in this place. I stood up for him.”</p><p>Idriss scoffs. “Sure. By asking them for all the details?”</p><p>“Well I needed to know what they were saying!”</p><p>“What are they saying?” Eliott asks quietly, interrupting their sparring match.</p><p>Daphne looks to him, guilt in her eyes now. “Well, Clara isn’t your biggest fan. They’re all calling you a manwhore.”</p><p>“That is such fucking bullshit!” Idriss bursts out a little too loudly. Daphne shushes him immediately, looking around them surreptitiously. “All I’m saying is,” Idriss continues, lowering his voice, “she wanted to hook up with him and Eliott rejecting her makes him a manwhore? And now she thinks she can bad mouth him?”</p><p>“I think it’s more that she thinks you were planning on cheating with her before your girlfriend showed up,” Daphne admits, looking to Eliott warily.</p><p>“Anna isn’t my girlfriend.” Eliott finds the energy he’d begun the day with has drained from him completely, his voice quiet and worn down, posture drooped to something truly miserable. “And I was never going to hook up with Clara.”</p><p>“Hey,” Idriss hand lands lightly on his shoulder, his voice a soothing balm, “don’t stress it. They’ll find someone else to gossip about by noon.”</p><p>“Probably,” Daphne agrees. “But… maybe stay away from peds for now.” Eliott had been planning on it. “If you want,” she leans closer to him once again, eyes twinkling, “we can start a rumour about Idriss to distract them. You know they’d believe it.”</p><p>“Oh, sure,” Idriss scoffs loudly, “any chance to believe some shit about the black guy.”</p><p>“Oh my god, Idriss.” Daphne exhales in annoyance. “Louise isn’t even white.” Eliott doesn’t know who Louise is but it seems the wrong time to ask. He’s sure they’d likely continue bickering, but they’re interrupted by the arrival of another nurse.</p><p>“Daphne,” the newcomer speaks over the raised voices as though this were a regular occurrence she’s grown all too accustomed to. Eliott imagines it is. “I need help with 1370.”</p><p>“Again?” Daphne huffs. The nurse shrugs, looking nonplussed by Daphne’s reluctance. “Ugh. Fine.” She turns back to Idriss and Eliott. “I’ll see you guys later. Bye, Eliott.” She offers him a sweet smile.</p><p>“Bye, Daphne.” He returns the smile, a little more genuine now.</p><p>When Idriss turns back to him, he’s rolling his eyes. “She probably will spread some shit about me if it means helping you. Pretty sure she thinks you can do no wrong.”</p><p>Eliott smiles a little. “She’s sweet.”</p><p>“Yeah. Sweet on you,” Idriss snorts, looking back to where Daphne has disappeared down the hall. “Gonna have this place wrapped around your finger.”</p><p>Eliott can’t help but think of a particular peds intern who would beg to differ. “Apparently not.”</p><p>Idriss looks back to him, his expression dropping. “Listen, bro. I’m really sorry about all that.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks confused, unable to stop a nervous laugh from escaping. “Why would you be sorry?”</p><p>“All this shit wouldn’t be happening if I hadn’t’ve texted batgirl. You could’ve just hooked up with the ragey peds chick and that would be that.”</p><p>“Idriss,” Eliott sighs, “I was never going to sleep with Clara. This isn’t your fault. I was an asshole. <em>I’m</em> sorry. This is all on me. I don’t know what I was thinking. I fucked everything up…”</p><p>The distress festering in his chest must be more apparent than he realizes. Idriss reaches forward to clasp the side of his neck. “Fucked up what? The stuff with Clara? Anna?” Eliott shakes his head to both.</p><p>“No. Lucas.” Idriss’s eyebrows rise simultaneously and Eliott’s eyes drop as he continues, “I – I don’t know what I’m doing. I thought I did but I think I messed everything up –”</p><p>“Mika,” Idriss is suddenly saying loudly – a warning of the other’s approach. When Eliott looks up, Idriss is looking over his shoulder. Eliott turns unsurprised to see Mika approaching with Lisa at his side. He smiles at them both.</p><p>“Idriss, you beautiful man you. How are you this fine morning?”</p><p>Idriss laughs. “Fine, Mika. You good?”</p><p>“I’m just peachy!” He looks towards Eliott. “Meeting room C this morning, Demaury.”</p><p>“Meeting room?” Eliott asks confused.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Mika confirms, not stopping his stride, but calling over his shoulder as he passes. “We’re doing things differently today. Room C. Tout suite!”</p><p>Eliott glances back to Idriss. “I should…” He trails off, motioning towards Mika’s departing form.</p><p>Idriss looks at him speculatively before his eyes once more trail over his shoulder. Eliott is getting really sick of that. “Lucas, morning.” Eliott tenses, turning and taking a couple steps back to position himself closer to Idriss’s side. Lucas is approaching with Yann. He looks at Idriss with a smile – sweet and genuine and just… not how he looks at Eliott.</p><p>“Morning, Idri,” he offers, voice soft and warm. He doesn’t look at Eliott and he doesn’t stop. Yann and Idriss offer one another friendly nods before he and Lucas continue down the hall.</p><p>Eliott exhales heavily and moves to follow. He pauses as Idriss grabs his arm, turning back to see Idriss looking at him with one eyebrow raised. He doesn’t say anything but then… he doesn’t have to. <em>We’re talking about this later</em>. Eliott nods.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>In an unusual turn of events, Mika begins the day by telling them their particular group has been chosen to assist Dr. Moreau in a research task. The announcement hadn’t been met with much enthusiasm until Mika had explained the incentive. The intern Moreau deemed the most helpful in the assigned task would be scrubbing in for the related surgery. Potentially ground-breaking heart surgery was nothing to turn one’s nose up at, and most certainly nothing an intern would normally be given the opportunity to scrub in for. That it was Moreau dimmed Eliott’s enthusiasm considerably but then, heart surgery was heart surgery. The excitement thrummed through his blood just as it did the rest of the interns, though Eliott did have his doubts as to Moreau actually choosing an intern based on merit. But there was a <em>chance</em>. </p><p>The briefing with Moreau was, well… brief. He introduced himself, the case, and had left, letting Mika do the heavy lifting of the explanation. It involved a young patient who had been dealing with a congenital heart defect since birth, but whose condition had recently worsened. His ‘swiss cheese’ heart, riddled with holes, had caused too much fluid to build up in his lungs, impairing his breathing. For a time, he’d been placed on medication to help clear the excess fluid in his body. A series of surgeries combined with medication to help strengthen his heart in the following years had proved temporarily successful. Until one day, it wasn’t. After his parents had rushed him to the hospital, it was determined he was suffering from congestive heart failure. Never had Moreau seen someone so young with the same heart defect deteriorate so severely.</p><p>Moreau had gone in and attempted to close some of the holes in the patient’s heart. But the patient’s condition over the following days had not improved. Back into surgery he’d gone to repair the remaining holes. But Moreau had known it wasn’t enough. The patient was placed on a heart-lung device that provided only temporary treatment. And unfortunately, Moreau was proven right. Days had passed, and the patient hadn’t improved. The more time that went by, the risk of a deadly complication grew: a massive stroke, lethal bleeding in the brain, kidney failure. Moreau needed a solution to keep the patient alive until a transplant became available. In essence, he needed an example of a similar case – or similar <em>enough</em> – to shed some light on possible treatment plans. It was expected this would be outside the realm of traditional practice and veer more into ground-breaking techniques with new technology, more than likely involving the world or artificial hearts. Searching for such a case however was finding a needle in a haystack, and the patient was already on borrowed time. And so, Moreau was reaching out to the interns. A slew of grunts at his disposal who could comb through thousands upon thousands of cases until hopefully that miracle case was found.</p><p>A buzz of excitement surrounded the interns after hearing the details of the case, but with regular duties still required it’s unlikely any of them will have a lot of time to devote to the task during the day. This would mean frantic research during any available breaks and the more likely, after-hours work. Eliott was one hundred percent certain Moreau was well aware of this and simply didn’t care. Overworking interns, even to the detriment of a patient (as inexperienced interns were unlikely to do a better job researching the topic than the doctor himself), sounded exactly like the Moreau Eliott had come to loathe. </p><p>As it happens, Eliott <em>doesn’t </em>end up with time during the day to get a head start on the assignment. First another intern had forgotten a decimal when prescribing dosage to a patient, resulting in the patient ending up in the ICU, then a man being discharged refused to do so in a wheelchair and insisted on standing, at which point he had promptly tripped and hit his head knocking himself out. All in all, it had been a far too eventful day. What time Eliott does have come the end of shift, he uses to see to Claudine who is being discharged and, having no family at home to aid in her recovery and rehabilitation, has chosen to be moved to a supportive living seniors facility.</p><p>Eliott’s spirits brighten the moment he walks in the room to the sight of Claudine sitting up in bed and Idriss to her side organizing a number of her belongings. Claudine turns to look at him as he enters, her face spreading into a smile.</p><p>“Eliott, darling! I thought you’d forgotten all about me.”</p><p>He gasps, playing at being offended. “I could never!” He perches at the end of the side of her bed, reaching to pat her hand. “I’m sorry I’ve been so busy. I take it you missed me?”</p><p>Idriss scoffs, looking up from where he’s sorting toiletries. “Who would miss you when the alternative is me?”</p><p>Claudine laughs. “Well that’s certainly true.” She smiles at Eliott. “But I was kept company. Your Lucas came to see me.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, too late in hiding his shock. “When was – he did?”</p><p>“Oh yes,” she says, looking quite smug. “We’ve become friends. I told you, he’s a lovely boy.”</p><p>“Friends?” Eliott repeats, a bare whisper. He becomes aware Idriss’s eyes is on him, heavy with meaning, and the rest of Claudine’s words filter back in. “And he’s not <em>my </em>Lucas,” he says more loudly. Claudine and Idriss each raise an eyebrow in perfect synchronization.</p><p>“Sure, dear.” Claudine is clearly enjoying herself, sharing another quick look with Idriss.</p><p>Eliott turns to grab the paperwork he’d set down at the end of the bed, avoiding their eyes as he busies himself with it and asks, “So what did you to talk about?” <em>Did he mention me?</em></p><p>Amusement rings clear in Claudine’s voice, and Eliott dips his head further to hide what he’s sure is a rush of colour to his cheeks. “Oh, this and that. He’s quite charming.”</p><p>“So I’m told,” Eliott responds in what is definitely more grumble than proper reply.</p><p>“You’re quite similar, you know.”</p><p>Eliott looks up at that with a disbelieving laugh. “No, we’re not.”</p><p>Claudine hums, considering him with soft and thoughtful eyes. “You’re quite different too. But I think you share a lot of similarities you don’t realize.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, not entirely sure how he feels about the thought. He tips his head towards Idriss and the now neatly packed items belonging to Claudine. “I see you’re making overworked nurses do your packing for you now.”</p><p>“Oh hush!” Claudine tuts, smacking Eliott’s hand lightly and allowing for the change in conversation with a laugh. “Idriss offered because he’s a good boy.”</p><p>“That’s right,” Idriss smiles proudly, straightening his posture with a haughty sniff. “Anyways,” he adds with a tilt of his chin to Eliott, “you don’t seem to remember I’m overworked when it’s <em>you</em> asking for things.”</p><p>Eliott makes a noise of objection. “I never ask you for things – or at least not when you’re busy. And besides, you do things for Lucas all the time!” He realizes too late he’s once again brought the topic back to Lucas and judging by the far too knowing smiles on Claudine and Idriss’s faces, they know it too. He rushes to continue, “So you must be excited to be getting out of here finally. When is someone from the facility coming to get you?”</p><p>She smiles at him steadily for a moment more before replying, “Oh any moment now. I will so miss seeing all of your handsome faces.”</p><p>“We’ll come visit you,” Eliott assures, looking to Idriss who nods in agreement. “You still owe me a rematch after all.”</p><p>“Will you promise to let me win?”</p><p>“Never.”</p><p>Claudine laughs. “Well, alright then.” She glances past Eliott, looking out towards the hallway with a sigh. “I had hoped your Lucas would come to say goodbye.” Eliott huffs slightly but doesn’t bother correcting her wording. It’s a losing battle.</p><p>“He’s probably just busy,” Eliott consoles instead.</p><p>“You’ll let him know I say goodbye?” She asks, looking expectantly at Eliott. “And ask him to come when you visit me?”</p><p>Eliott opens his mouth to protest but Claudine’s eyes are wide and watery blue, filled with what he’s sure is a carefully orchestrated plea but is effective, nonetheless. He sighs instead, shoulders sagging with the defeat of one truly beaten at a game they hadn’t even meant to play. “Sure. I’ll tell him.”</p><p>“Good. That’s settled then.” She turns back to Idriss. “Darling, would you get –”</p><p>“I’ll go grab the wheelchair,” he interrupts, throwing Eliott one more loaded look before he leaves.</p><p>Eliott turns his body to face Claudine more fully, a sudden question springing to mind, and an impulse to ask he can’t ignore. “When I come to visit,” he begins, drawing her attention back to him, eyes curious, “will you tell me then? The story of you and your husband?”</p><p>She smiles, a warm sort of nostalgia instantly filling her eyes. “Well I suppose that depends.”</p><p>“On what?”</p><p>“Whether you’re ready.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, frustrated. “But how will you know?”</p><p>“Oh, I won’t, darling,” Claudine laughs lightly. “Only you will know that.”</p><p>He stares at her bewildered before laughing. “You are incredibly frustrating.”</p><p>“Yes, I’ve been told.”</p><p>“By your husband?”</p><p>“Yes,” she agrees.</p><p>Eliott drops his eyes to his hands for a moment, before looking back up to meet her amused gaze. “I suppose he loved that about you.”</p><p>“Of course. He loved everything about me. Especially the frustrating parts.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>He isn’t searching for Lucas – at least not consciously – but Eliott finds him as he ventures into the cafeteria at end of shift to grab some snacks before hunkering down to research.</p><p>He wants to be kind, wants to offer Lucas an opportunity to engage in a conversation that doesn’t begin with hostility, wants to make attempts at a mature approach to… whatever this is between them. Instead what comes out, as he stands next to Lucas’s bent head at a table is, “Don’t you have a date?”</p><p>Lucas looks up startled, eyes bleary before they focus on Eliott and tighten with annoyance. “What do you care? Keeping track of my schedule for me now?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, and he can’t be sure whether the frustration thrumming through his blood is with himself or Lucas. “Just doesn’t seem like you’d have time for research.” He reaches forward to flick at the pages of the journal Lucas has been reading, expecting Lucas to swat his hand away. Lucas jerks his own hand back instead, preventing any contact. It gives Eliott pause but he perseveres. “I’m sure Jared will be here any minute to pick you up.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “Jeremy,” he corrects. “And what about you?” He points at the snacks in Eliott’s hands. “No bar girl to pick you up this time? Or will she be joining you?”</p><p>“Bar girl?” Eliott asks perplexed, defensive posture dropping with his confusion.</p><p>Lucas huffs, averting his eyes to stare away from Eliott. “Batgirl. Whatever.”</p><p>“Wait – Anna? Since when do you call Anna batgirl? Since when do you even know Anna?”</p><p>Lucas looks back to him incredulous, as though Eliott is entirely missing the point. Perhaps he is. “Idriss calls her that and talks about you two enough. Besides she picked you up from the party, right? Hard to miss that.” Eliott mouth falls open in his shock. Lucas was still there? He saw? Fuck. FUCK. That means he thinks… “Whatever,” Lucas continues, snapping his journal shut and collecting his assorted notes. It seems to very clearly be a ploy to avoid Eliott’s eyes. He moves to a stand. “I don’t care anyways, and I need to –”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott interrupts. He reaches forward and presses gentle fingers to Lucas’s arm. He’s wearing a long-sleeved shirt, covered down to his wrists. But Eliott knows what is under it, the colours and shapes that decorate his skin. “I’m not with – I’m not <em>dating </em>Anna.” Lucas pulls his arm back, out of reach, but not with violent movements. He does so with a gentle tug, moving his other hand to rub the spot Eliott’s fingers just held.</p><p>“Not like I asked for a summary of your dating life,” Lucas replies, the waver in his voice suggesting an insecurity that drowns out the attempted enmity.</p><p>Eliott breathes a laugh without humour. “Well then you’re the only one. Apparently, I’m getting a reputation.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, you might want to think before fucking around with a bunch of different people at a party with your coworkers then,” Lucas’s voice gains strength as he speaks, judgement mixed with ire. It has Eliott’s hackles rising immediately.</p><p>“I <em>didn’t</em> fuck around with a bunch of people. You know very well who I fucked around with.” Lucas’s frown deepens but there’s an enticing flush to his cheeks now. “Besides, I’d hardly take you as one to judge someone for messing around with coworkers.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows bunch and he looks around them furtively before fiercely whispering, “I am not sleeping with Jeremy.”</p><p>“<em>Yet</em>,” Eliott points out spitefully. He moves his face closer and can’t help but relish the way Lucas’s eyes drop to his lips before flicking back to meet his eyes. “And I didn’t mean Jeremy.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Lucas pushes him back roughly with hands to his chest. Eliott goes willingly, taking a couple steps backwards, and letting his mouth pull up in a slight smile he knows will only antagonize Lucas more. “I’m not – it was nothing.”</p><p>“Hmm…” Eliott’s smile grows and he lets his eyes scrape slowly down Lucas’s body before traveling back up to meet his eyes, pupils tellingly dilated. “So you’ve said.”</p><p>“<em>Lucas, I’ve been looking everywhere!” </em>They both turn to see Jeremy approaching. <em>Fucking Jeremy. </em>“I don’t have your number,” Jeremy continues, smile bright as he stops beside them. “I wasn’t sure how to reach you.”</p><p>“Oh, yeah.” Lucas clears his throat, eyes dropping to the ground as he shuffles uncomfortably before looking up at Jeremy with a smile. It’s laughably fake. “Sorry. I didn’t think about that.”</p><p>“That’s ok.” Jeremy turns to Eliott. “Eliott, hey.” His smile doesn’t change, wide and relaxed, and Eliott truly cannot decide if it’s a put-on or if Jeremy is just… <em>this</em>: annoyingly agreeable and chipper. And it <em>is</em> annoying. Eliott isn’t just being… difficult. There’s no way Lucas could like this guy. Lucas needs someone who challenges him. Jeremy is the guy who expresses an interest in something before apologizing for having a personality at all. A pushover.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott offers, trying for a smile.</p><p>“I seem to always find you two together,” Jeremy laughs. Eliott’s eyes cut to him quickly. There was a… tone there. Eliott appraises him silently. Perhaps Jeremy isn’t quite as spineless as he thought.</p><p>“We weren’t together,” Lucas responds coldly as he reaches for his belongings. “Let’s go.”</p><p>“Sure,” Jeremy agrees easily. “Oh, Eliott,” he says as Lucas moves towards him. “Idriss was looking for you.”</p><p>“He was?” Eliott asks confused. He and Idriss had only just been together.</p><p>“Yah, uh,” he pinches his face as he attempts to recall, “he said that lady left you something.”</p><p>“Lady?” Lucas asks scornfully, looking back at Eliott with an eyebrow raised as though to say, <em>‘Exactly as I thought’.</em></p><p>“Claudine,” Eliott clarifies unimpressed. The disdain drops from Lucas’s expression immediately and he turns back fully to face Eliott. Eliott tries not to let his satisfaction with the gesture show.</p><p>“Why would she leave you something?”</p><p>“She was discharged today,” Eliott reminds him.</p><p>“Oh fuck!” Lucas yells abruptly, throwing his head back with a hand pressed to it. He looks truly distressed when he looks back to Eliott. “I forgot that was today – I – <em>fuck</em>. I really didn’t mean to –”</p><p>“She knew.” Eliott can’t help the way he jumps to immediately reassure Lucas. “She was fine. She just said, uh –”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, looking eager to know.</p><p>“She mentioned you’d been going to visit her,” Eliott admits.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas’s tone is immediately defensive, and he stands straighter, puffing out his chest slightly as though readying for a fight. “I can do that and my job. I’m not soulless. I can be nice and –”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott cuts him off with a huff of laughter, “relax. I wasn’t judging.” He smiles a little, tracking the way Lucas’s eyebrows twitch slightly when he’s struggling to maintain misplaced anger. “It was nice – a good thing you did.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes widen before he dips his head, eyes dropping to the floor. He crosses his arms against his chest and runs his fingers restlessly across his forearms. “Yeah, well…” He peeks up at Eliott through his eyelashes, and there’s a smile on his face – small, barely noticeable, but it’s there. It’s soft and warm and <em>there</em>. “She’s pretty feisty. It’s hard to say no.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a chuckle, “tell me about it.” He finds himself softening his smile in reaction, dipping his head to meet Lucas’s eyes more readily. “She likes you. Maybe more than she likes me.”</p><p>A laugh bursts from Lucas before he catches it, but his smile remains, a cheekier slant to it now. “Who could blame her there.”</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott laughs, “careful. Seems like her feistiness is catching.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, amused, and they smile at one another for a moment.</p><p>“So, should we go?”</p><p>Lucas jumps at the sound of Jeremy’s voice, and Eliott finds he nearly does the same. Fuck. He’d almost entirely forgotten Jeremy’s presence at Lucas’s shoulder… <em>lurking</em>.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas quickly straightens, looking frazzled and a touch embarrassed, “of course. Sorry, um, let’s go.” He’s turning away from Eliott without another look back and Eliott just –</p><p>“Lucas.” Lucas looks back over his shoulder warily. “She asked if we’d come visit,” Eliott continues. “You and I.”</p><p>“Visit?” Jeremy interjects. “Like at her house? That’s weird.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes cut to him, his stare withering. If he only had the power to make someone disappear with a look alone. “At the supportive living facility.” He offers no more. Looking back to Lucas in question.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flicker to Jeremy before moving back to Eliott. He nods infinitesimally and turns, rushing away. Jeremy jogs to keep up with him, yelling a goodbye as he goes.</p><p>Eliott slumps down into the seat Lucas vacated. A million warring emotions battling in his chest but only one clear thought:</p><p>What the fuck is he doing?</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>It’s another busy and exhausting day. Nothing out of the ordinary but not a particularly interesting day either. And no time for much socializing. Aside from a brief chat first thing in the morning, Eliott only sees Idriss in passing. He doesn’t see Lucas at all. An attempt at casually asking Mika where he might be, had been met with an amused look and Mika responding that Lucas had begun the work day earlier than anyone else, apparently an attempt to get in some time for Moreau’s research project prior to the days pre-rounds. “<em>You’ll have to save the hateful foreplay for later,”</em> he’d said with a quick wink before leaving.  </p><p>It’s about an hour after his shift should have ended that Eliott finally drags himself into the change room, pulling on his casual clothes, and making his way back down the hall towards the nurse’s station. Idriss has at least an hour left in his shift. Eliott’s plan is stay a few more hours, hunkering down in the smaller break room usually left empty, and hopefully making some progress on his own research.</p><p>“Eliott!” A voice calls gently as the nurse’s station come in sight. Eliott turns to see Manon approaching.</p><p>“Hey,” he greets, surprised. “Manon. How are you?”</p><p>“I’m well.” She comes to stop in front of him. “What about you? Have you had a good day?”</p><p>“Yeah, I guess.” He shrugs a little. “Really busy but somehow not that interesting.”</p><p>“<em>Ohhh</em>.” She scrunches her face in sympathy. “Those days are the worst.”</p><p>Eliott takes in her appearance, the cute dress just a touch fancier than anyone surrounding her, the perfectly styled hair, the immaculate lipstick. “Wait.” A smile bursts on his face. “Are you here for Idriss?”</p><p>She looks away with a slight laugh, the apples of her cheeks darkening. “I came to bring Lucas dinner actually. He eats terribly.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Yeah, I know.” He raises an eyebrow, knowing there is more to the story than that.</p><p>With a quick roll of her eyes she admits, “I thought since I was here anyways, I’d go and say hi to Idriss.”</p><p>“Sure,” Eliott grins.  </p><p>“Ok,” she laughs. “Stop looking at me like that. Lucas is bad enough.”</p><p>“Where is he anyways?” Eliott asks, playing at casual and glancing around her as though Lucas was going to pop out of light fixture. When his eyes land back on Manon her gaze is speculative.</p><p>“He’s staying late for that research project.” She tilts her head slightly, watching him carefully and Eliott would swear his palms are instantly sweaty. “You know, you two would probably be unstoppable if you joined forces.”</p><p>Eliot snorts to distract from the way he can feel his mouth pulling into a pleased smile. “Like he’d ever do that. Not when he’s easily capable of figuring the whole thing out and taking the surgery for himself. And I’m his…” Eliott searches for the right word. “Nemesis.”</p><p>“You’re hardly that.” She doesn’t say it with any loaded meaning but Eliott finds his heart skipping a beat in his chest, nevertheless.</p><p>“No?” Eliott tries to keep his tone light, to not sound as if the answer matters to him as much as it does. He’s not so sure he succeeds.</p><p>“No. But from what I hear,” Manon sighs, “you’re just as stubborn as him so I’m not sure me saying anything would change that.</p><p>“He said I’m –”</p><p>“Manon?” Idriss’s voice interrupts coming from their side. They both turn to look at him approach. Idriss’s face is split into a surprised smile. There are nerves there too, in the way he blinks a few times in rapid succession and his hands open and close at his sides, but it’s likely only noticeable to Eliott. “Hi. Wha – are you looking for Lucas?”</p><p>Eliott steps back slightly as Idriss reaches them. His best friend doesn’t seem to be all that interested in the fact that he’s there anyways, eyes trained on Manon alone.</p><p>“I was. I dropped off dinner to him,” Manon explains, and while Eliott doesn’t know her particularly well, he can’t help but notice the way she too seems a bit nervous, hands fiddling with the strap of bag and words just a little rushed. “I thought since I was here, I might as well come see you.” Her voice lilts up slightly as though it were a question.</p><p>“Yeah?” Idriss’s smile is filled with happy surprise. “I mean, yeah, of course. That’s – that’s great.” His pleasure at seeing her – knowing she came to see <em>him </em>– fills his face, making him appear far younger than his years. “I’ll get Daphne to cover for me and I can show you around. Or we could grab a bite in the cafeteria? I can’t really leave until my shift is officially over…”</p><p>“Of course,” Manon readily agrees, her own smile stretched across her face. “I’d love to hear all about your work.”</p><p>They don’t acknowledge Eliott or say goodbye as they begin leaving. They turn together, Idriss dipping his head so as to speak to Manon more closely, bodies angled together. They’re… sweet, honestly. Eliott doesn’t take offense, smiling as he watches them disappear around a corner. They’ll make a good couple. And he has no doubt that’s where that is headed. He’s happy for Idriss. It’s what his friend deserves. Someone to match him, someone who <em>fits</em>.</p><p>Everyone deserves that.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott checks the cafeteria, the research room, two different meeting rooms, all with no luck, or more specifically, no Lucas. He couldn’t explain his exact goal in seeking him out. No well thought out plan is guiding his actions. And while he’s used to such impulses corresponding with alarm bells sounding in his head, at present it’s simply… freeing.</p><p>With no success and feeling all too deflated, Eliott grabs what he needs from the research room and makes his way to the break room. It’s as he enters that he realizes his mistake. No, not mistake. His idiocy. He spent a half hour wandering the hospital in search of the very person currently sitting at the table in front of him. Or, more accurately, sprawled on the table.</p><p>Lucas has his head down, turned away from Eliott and resting on folded arms. A good portion of his upper body is resting on the table. It doesn’t look particularly comfortable, but it also doesn’t look like this was a planned sprawl. He’s easily recognizable even faced away from Eliott. His absolutely chaotic mop of hair an immediate identifier. Something about the set of his body too, small and compact and yet, filling the space in a way that makes him seem far larger – impossible to ignore. It’s the shape of him too – the lines of his muscles pressed against the stretch of his shirt, the curve of his back sloping down… down to the taper of his waist… down to the what Eliott knows is a beautiful –</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. Eliott shakes his head as though he could forcibly knock the images – the <em>memories</em> – from it and moves towards the table. Alerting Lucas to his presence in a more forcible way – slamming his books on the table – does occur to him. Certainly, if it were Idriss, Eliott would have any number of rude awakenings up his sleeve. But he just… can’t. Not when it’s Lucas, looking small and soft and utterly vulnerable. Instead Eliott sets his journals down adjacent to Lucas at the end of the table and reaches forward to gently place a hand on his shoulder, shaking gently.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott tries, keeping his tone quiet but when no response is received, raising it slightly, “Lucas, you fell asleep.” Lucas’s body jumps and Eliott snatches his hand back as the other boy’s head rises. Then Lucas is turning towards him. There’s a crease on his cheek from where it rested against part of a journal on the table. His eyes are hazy and confused behind… black framed glasses. He’s wearing glasses.</p><p>So many observations slam into Eliott at once, he’s can’t fully grasp any of them. There’s the sight of Lucas in the glasses, eyes piercing blue and red rimmed behind them, his hair falling slightly down onto his face to catch on the edge of the frame, the way his t-shirt, old and clearly well-worn, hangs loose at his neck, pulled slightly to one side and revealing part of his collar bone, and his arms… his arms in a t-shirt, bare from the bicep down. And his tattoo. His tattoo and his glasses, and… together. The tattoo. And the glasses. The tattoo and glasses. It’s… a lot.</p><p>Eliott rips his eyes away, busying himself with sitting in the neighbouring chair and rearranging his journals and notebook on the table. He takes a deep breath before he looks back up with a slight smile.</p><p>“You fell asleep,” he states, though it’s an unnecessary observation to repeat. A wrinkle appears between Lucas’s eyebrows. He still looks confused. Adorably so, as though his brain is taking far longer to wake up than the rest of him. He must have fallen into a deep sleep. His glasses are slightly askew, one arm resting higher on one side of his face than the other. He’s just – “I didn’t know you wore glasses.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas’s voice is raw and thick with sleep, and he looks even more confused. Comprehension dawns slowly and with it comes horror. His eyes widen and his hand moves immediately to his face.</p><p>“No!” Eliott rushes out the moment he realizes Lucas is going to take them off. He’s reaching to stop Lucas’s hand before he recognizes he’s made a decision to do so, and stops himself just in time, letting his hand hover in the air before dropping it back to the table. “If – if you need them, I mean, you can just leave them on.” Eliott curses himself internally at the sound of his voice – the obvious eagerness dripping from every word.</p><p>Lucas blinks slowly, expression blank. Then he’s adjusting the frames slightly, so they sit more comfortably on his face and dropping his hand, eyes moving to the journals on the table in front of him. There’s a little colour to his face now, pink at the apples of his cheeks, and the beginnings of the slightest of smiles at the corner of his lips. Eliott watches spellbound.</p><p>“I don’t need them,” Lucas says, clearing his throat before he looks back up at Eliott. There’s a definite blush heating his cheeks and the knowledge thrums through Eliott’s blood. “They just help when I’m really tired, and my eyes are strained and…” He trails off, gesturing towards the work spread on the table.</p><p>“Well they suit you.” Eliott relishes the way the comment has Lucas’s eyes darting back to him and then away. He’s shy again. Eliott still finds it hard to believe he has the ability – the power – to make Lucas shy.</p><p>“No, they don’t,” Lucas responds quietly, reaching for his pen and fiddling with it nervously. “They just make me look like a nerd.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, grinning as Lucas’s eyes dart up to him, readying for offense. “Like I said. Suits you.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, looking back to his pen, which he taps against the table at a quick beat. “What are you doing here anyways?”</p><p>Eliott allows for the change of topic, directing his attention to the journals he’s spread before him and reaching for his notebook. “Same thing you are, I imagine.”</p><p>“Yeah, but… why here? Why don’t you go home?” It’s not said as though Lucas is irritated to have Eliott in the same space as him. It’s asked with an honest sort of curiosity. Just the same…</p><p>“Why don’t you?” Eliott challenges, chuckling slightly when his response is met by another eye roll.</p><p>“It was just a question.” Lucas turns back to his notes, pulling them closer, and repositioning a journal left open, as though the conversation were over, and he intends on continuing his work.</p><p>“It’s too hard to work at home,” Eliott admits. “With Alex and Lucille – my other roommate – there. Usually Emma too.”</p><p>Lucas looks back up. He nods slightly. “Yeah. It’s been nice having her out of our hair to be honest.”</p><p>Eliott exhales a laugh through his nose. “I bet. And anyways, I’m too easily distracted. It’s easier to force myself to work here.”</p><p>“You don’t think I’ll be a distraction?”</p><p>Eliott looks back to Lucas quickly but the other boy doesn’t seem to realize exactly how that came out or exactly where Eliott’s brain immediately went until he sees the look on Eliott’s face. His eyes widen and he rushes to continue, “I don’t mean <em>me</em> – like I’d specifically be – I only meant, anyone. That anyone would be a distraction.” Eliott has a hard time repressing the smirk pulling at one corner of his mouth as he watches Lucas fumble for an explanation. Lucas huffs, dropping his eyes back to his notes and leaning over them to slightly impede a clear view of his face. “Shut up.”</p><p>Eliott snickers quietly to himself before answering. “Some distractions are good.”</p><p>“What kind?”</p><p>Eliott hadn’t anticipated a question continuing the conversation and he glances back to Lucas in surprise. He smiles immediately as he sees Lucas’s eyes are already on him.</p><p>“The mouthy kind.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs. “I’m not mouthy.”</p><p>“No, you’re right. Bratty is probably more appropriate.”</p><p>“Bratty?!” Lucas’s eyebrows jump with his indignation. “I am not –” He stops himself when he notices the amusement on Eliott’s face. “Fuck you. I’m going to get a snack.” He turns to grab his wallet and gets up, walking to the vending machines at the side of the room.</p><p>Eliott hums in agreement, only now noticing his own hunger. He’d meant to pick up some food when he’d been in the cafeteria looking for… and anyways, he’d been distracted and forgotten. Lucas returns to the table with a couple bags of M&amp;M’s.  </p><p>“Good call,” Eliott offers up, though Lucas clearly could not care less about Eliott’s opinion on his snack choices. Eliott fumbles in his pockets for change before he makes his way to the vending machines to purchase some for himself. Only… the slot that holds them sits empty. There are other options of course, Twix, KitKat, Mars, chips, and various trail mixes. But Eliott doesn’t want any of those, not when his heart is set on M&amp;M’s. He turns back to Lucas, incredulous. “Did you really take the last of the M&amp;Ms?”</p><p>Lucas glances back at him, carefully projected boredom on his face. “There were only two packs left. Don’t act like I killed your whole family.”</p><p>“Ok, so give me one.” Eliott approaches the table, hand outstretched with palm up.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Lucas scoffs, eyes moving between Eliott’s face and expectant hand. “They’re mine.”</p><p>“You don’t need both. You’ve probably been mainlining candy all day.” He stops next to Lucas at the table.</p><p>“I have not,” Lucas protests. “I had a burger for lunch. There was even lettuce on it.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Oh well my apologies in that case. I had no idea you’d adopted such healthy habits.”</p><p>Lucas sniffs, popping an M&amp;M into his mouth before he answers. “Well it’s important, you know, in our line of work.”</p><p>It’s true enough. Most surgeons prioritize health and endurance, the ability to stand for hours and hours at a time in surgery without fatiguing, a somewhat essential requirement. Lucas on the other hand…</p><p>“I don’t know how you have the body you do with how you eat,” Eliott comments before the words he’s just spoken filter through his rational, not drunk-on-this-conversation brain. “Er – I mean –” There’s a smile growing on Lucas’s face – and it’s entirely too smug. Eliott dives for the second bag of M&amp;Ms sitting on the table at Lucas’s other side.</p><p>“No!” Lucas screeches, leaping up from his seat to intercept Eliott’s hand just as he grasps the bag of candy. One hand clamps to Eliott’s forearm, the other moving to pull the bag from Eliott’s fist.</p><p>“You really gonna protect these like your life depends on it?” Eliott struggles to move his hand and maintain his purchase on the candy while Lucas’s other hand refuses to release his arm.</p><p>“If that’s what it takes!” Lucas can’t get a grip on Eliott’s hand and reconsiders his strategy, pulling Eliott’s arm closer to his body in an attempt to wrap both arms around it and hold it steady.</p><p>“That’s not fair!” Eliott twists his wrist every time Lucas nearly gains purchase. “I deserve chocolate!”</p><p>“You deserve an ass-kicking!” Lucas turns, putting his back to Eliott as he wraps himself around Eliott’s arm.</p><p>Eliott scoffs. “What – you’re gonna do it?” He moves to press against Lucas’s back, reaching around him to pry one of Lucas’s hands off his own.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Lucas snorts, struggling widely in Eliott’s hold, “you seem to think about my body a whole lot. Think I could handle it?”</p><p>Eliott becomes painfully aware of the position he’s found himself in, arms wrapped around Lucas, crotch pressed to Lucas’s ass, the way his body is suddenly very interested in how Lucas is squirming in his arms…</p><p>Eliott moves immediately, pushing away from Lucas and wrenching his arm away as he does so. Only… he doesn’t release his hold on the candy… and neither does Lucas. The bag rips as he goes. M&amp;Ms scattering in all directions, across the table and floor.</p><p>Lucas turns around, mouth open as he surveys the disaster before he suddenly laughs, bright and happy, and looks up at Eliott. “You idiot.” He shakes his head, flicking an M&amp;M on the table until it skitters off the other side. “You’re eating the ones that fell on the floor.”</p><p>“Well that’s no fair. You’re so much closer to them.” Eliott pouts.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “Was that a height joke?”</p><p>“Height insult actually.”</p><p>“There’s nothing insulting about my height,” Lucas sniffs, tipping his chin higher as though projected arrogance will somehow make his case. “I’m the perfect height. You’re just… a giraffe.”</p><p>“A giraffe?” Eliott snorts. “That was the tall animal you decided to go with? The one with a two meter neck? Because there’s such resemblance there.”</p><p>“I don’t know – your body is basically half legs. Seems accurate to me.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Noticing my legs, are you?”</p><p>“Noticing they’re ridiculous.”</p><p>“They let me reach things on the top shelf in the kitchen though. What do you do with that <em>perfect </em>height of yours? Crawl up on the counter or do you have a stool?”</p><p>“Fuck you! I get tall assholes like you to do it for me.”</p><p>“Naw. No way you rely on anyone else.” Eliott steps back, sweeping his eyes up and down Lucas’s body. “You totally crawl on the counter.”</p><p>“Ok, you can get fucked. And pick up the ones on the floor.” He turns and begins sweeping arms over the table to collect the candy spread there.</p><p>Eliott chuckles, crouching down to do as told. “You’re not really going to make me eat the floor candy, are you?”</p><p>Lucas snickers. “You say that like I could make you.” He straightens, turning to face Eliott and immediately freezes.</p><p>Eliott would love to claim he’d done this intentionally, but he’s just as taken aback by the position they’ve found themselves in. Lucas’s movement has placed him directly in front of where Eliott is crouched. And Eliott… well… he finds himself face-to-face with Lucas’s crotch. Far too close to Lucas’s crotch in fact. He’s at the perfect level to…</p><p>He swallows and glances back up at Lucas. “You could.” His voice has deepened of its own will, words coming slower.</p><p>“Could what?” Lucas asks, his own voice barely a whisper, as he stares down at Eliott with wide eyes. And Eliott can’t stand it – the sight of him – staring down with startled eyes framed by those <em>fucking glasses</em>, the colours and patterns of his tattooed arm such a stark contrast to the way the glasses make him look so fucking innocent. <em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>“Tell me what to do.” Eliott couldn’t say whether he’s answering the question or making a demand himself. Judging by the heavy way Lucas swallows, he’s not so sure either.</p><p>“I want –”</p><p>The door into the break room is suddenly opening. Lucas swings towards it and in doing so brings his knee directly up into Eliott’s jaw.</p><p>“Fuck!” Eliott cries out, falling backwards onto his ass and pressing a hand to his face.</p><p>“Oh shit! I’m sorry!”</p><p>“Whoa.” A third voice adds. Eliott wishes he didn’t recognize it. But he does. <em>Fucking Jeremy.</em> “You alright?” He’s rushing to Lucas’s side and offering Eliott a hand. “Let me help you up.”</p><p>Eliott ignores the offer, stretching his jaw with a groan as he pushes himself to a stand. “I’m fine.” He notes with interest – and perhaps some regret – that Lucas has taken his glasses off. They’re nowhere to be seen in fact and Eliott has to wonder how he managed to do so that quickly while in the midst of kneeing Eliott in the face.</p><p>“What on earth were you guys doing?” Jeremy laughs, sounding more confused than suspicious.</p><p>“We weren’t doing anything!” That tone however…</p><p>Eliott looks at Lucas, noting the way Lucas holds his body, stiff with tension. He could not have sounded more guilty in that reply. As though Eliott really had been on his knees for activities a lot more interesting than the retrieval of candy. Eliott finds his jaw hurts a lot less when considering it was in service of this moment. This knowledge. That Lucas was thinking it too.</p><p>Eliott only just controls the breadth of his smile as he answers Jeremy. “We spilled candy.” He gestures at the floor and pile of M&amp;Ms collected on the table.</p><p>“Oh.” Jeremy glances around them. “Well, I can grab the dustpan,” he offers, so <em>fucking helpful</em>. He glances quickly at Lucas first, a shy smile on his face. “I like your tattoo.” Eliott’s eyes drop to Lucas’s arm, the majority of it still bare in his t-shirt, and he has a sudden, overwhelming urge to shield it from Jeremy’s eyes – to reach forward and wrap himself around it, to bodily block it from view. He holds his body rigidly tense as he attempts to subdue the impulse.</p><p>“Uh – thanks.” Lucas smiles a little, waiting until Jeremy turns to retrieve the dustpan from the small kitchen nook, before reaching for his sweatshirt and quickly pulling it on, the colours and shapes decorating his skin disappearing as he does so.</p><p>Eliott smiles, exhaling with what can only be relief. When Lucas looks back, he pauses for a moment assessing the look on Eliott’s face before quirking an eyebrow in question. Eliott shakes his head only slightly, letting his smile grow. Lucas rolls his eyes, but it doesn’t feel as though Eliott is meant to take offense. Lucas moves to sweep the candy at the side of the table to the center. He glances at Eliott after doing so.</p><p>“We can share.”</p><p>Eliott grins.</p><p>“Here, dustpan to the rescue.” Jeremy moves between them, kneeling and immediately beginning to sweep up the rest of the candy. Lucas backs away, a hand going to rub at the back of his neck as he looks on, a little awkward with it.</p><p>“You really didn’t have to,” he says. “We would have gotten it.”</p><p>“It’s fine, it’s fine,” Jeremy insists, moving to a stand and making his way to empty the dustbin in the garbage. He turns back to smile at Lucas. “I don’t mind at all.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, perhaps a little loudly, and collapses back into his chair. Lucas gives him a quick look before doing the same, settling back into his own seat. Jeremy unfortunately takes this as some sort of invitation to join and takes the seat directly across from Lucas. He’s not carrying any journals – no notebook or materials that signify his desire to also partake in research. Eliott eyes him critically but Jeremy’s eyes aren’t on him.</p><p>“What are you up to?” He asks Lucas, as though it weren’t incredibly obvious. He’s smiling winningly, attention focused on Lucas alone. And the things is… Jeremy isn’t terrible looking. He’s perhaps a little awkward, a little too eager, smile too big and far too eager to please but… as Yann had deduced, he’s no troll. Some might even say he’s somewhat handsome. Eliott frowns deeply at the thought, attention turning to Lucas who is smiling back at Jeremy. It’s small, lacking in the same enthusiasm, but it’s there.</p><p>“Research for the Moreau case,” Lucas explains. “Easier to work here than at home.”</p><p>“And you’re working together?” Jeremy asks, eyebrows pulling together as he gestures between Lucas and Eliott.</p><p>“What? No!” Lucas protests with an abrupt laugh.</p><p>While it’s true – Eliott had not gotten around to even broaching the topic, should he have ever decided to, he can’t help but take insult with the way Lucas responded to the question. As though the thought of them working together was absurd – entirely out of the question. As though Lucas were the only one deciding.</p><p>“I didn’t ask to,” Eliott points out. His annoyance is clear in his tone, but he doesn’t bother to dim it.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes cut to him, brow furrowing, but before he can respond, Jeremy pulls his attention back.</p><p>“Well, I can help. I’d love to work with you.”</p><p>Lucas releases a sound of amusement. “This is a competition, Jer.” Jer? <em>Jer? </em>“Don’t you want the surgery for yourself?”</p><p>“No,” Jeremy laughs easily. “I want to help you.”</p><p>Eliott scoffs. “That’s a bad fucking way to become a surgeon. What – you’re just going to give up all your surgeries to Lucas?”</p><p>Jeremy looks to him in surprise. “Oh. Well, no. I just –”</p><p>“Because <em>you’re</em> so competitive,” Lucas interrupts, looking incredulous and annoyed. </p><p>“I am competitive,” Eliott bites, eyes drilling into Lucas. “When it matters.” Lucas holds his gaze.</p><p>“I can be competitive,” Jeremy cuts in. “But if I can help Lucas, I’d like to.”</p><p>“Thanks, Jer,” Lucas smiles as he turns his attention to him. “I can handle it though. I’m pretty good solo.”</p><p>“Well sure.” There’s a flirty quality to Jeremy’s voice now, and he leans slightly forward onto the table. “But it’s more fun with two, yeah?” Lucas’s eyes drop to his notes, and he bites his lip.</p><p>There’s a feeling building in Eliott’s chest. He’s felt it before. A burning, twisting, ugly sensation. The first night he met Lucas in fact. It had resulted in nothing good. A fight that Eliott hadn’t been able to take back. An animosity that festered behind every interaction for the past two months. He should quell it. Eliott knows he should. Ignore it and concentrate on what he can control – his own future, his own career, the notes set in front of him. But that impulse he feels whenever Lucas is concerned, is still there, thrumming in his blood. Angry, vibrant, and hot. A pulse he can’t ignore.</p><p>“Like Lucas needs any help,” Eliott scoffs, successfully attracting both of their attention. His tone is far more spiteful than he meant it to be. He bites the inside of his cheek watching as Lucas’s eyebrows pull together, obviously having decided the spite is being aimed his direction.</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?” His voice is colder than it had been just moments prior, and there’s an edge to it, sharp enough to cut. Jeremy clearly hears it too and reaches across the table, resting a hand on Lucas’s wrist.</p><p>“I’m sure he just means because you’re the best and –”</p><p>Eliott interrupts him as his eyes cut from Jeremy’s hand to Lucas. “You know none of us actually stand a chance. Moreau doesn’t care who does the best job. He’ll pick who he favours.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas’s voice has quieted, and Eliott isn’t sure if he imagined the tremor or if, in his ridiculous, impulsive need to ruin the moment between Jeremy and Lucas, he’s somehow hurt Lucas’s feelings. The thought seems absurd. But then… that look on Lucas’s face…</p><p>“Why would Moreau favour you?” Jeremy snorts. “He hates everyone.” Lucas’s eyes don’t leave Eliott.</p><p>It feels a lot like Eliott imagines sinking in quicksand would. He can feel it happening, he knows he took the steps to get himself here, and yet there’s no preventing it – the slow, inevitable pull down until he’s smothered by sand.</p><p>“He doesn’t hate Lucas.”</p><p>Lucas rips his eyes away, and he’s abruptly slamming his journals closed. Working quickly and with obvious anger as he stacks his materials. Eliott can feel the grains of sand invading his lungs and he doesn’t know what to do, how to stop a slow, preventable death, when he’s the one who chose it.</p><p>“Lucas?” Jeremy asks confused.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move to him, fierce and determined. “I don’t feel like going home. Can we go to yours?”</p><p>Jeremy’s mouth drops open while Eliott’s heart falls to his stomach. “Wha – I mean – of course,” Jeremy agrees, standing quickly. “Yeah. Yes. If that’s what you want.”</p><p>“It is,” Lucas responds, sounding cold and determined. “Let’s get out of here.”</p><p>Jeremy nods eagerly, tripping slightly in his rush to move around the table and lead the way to the door out of the room. Lucas moves to follow, not looking at Eliott once.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott chokes, reaching for Lucas’s arm, desperate to – he doesn’t know. He just knows he doesn’t want Lucas to leave. He’s spitting sand, the sharp grains cutting at his throat with every breath. Lucas takes a deep breath before turning back to him, eyes cold and veil firmly blocking all other emotion potentially found in the depths of his eyes. “I –” Eliott’s phone rattles loudly on the table with an incoming call. It draws both their eyes.</p><p><em>Anna</em>.</p><p>Her name and smiling face are clearly displayed across his phone.</p><p>Lucas expels a quick sound of dry amusement, wrenching his arm from Eliott’s hold. “You should get that.” He doesn’t look back as he leaves.</p><p>Eliott stares at the table, watching his phone vibrate until it falls silent with a missed call displayed. A text pops up next.</p><p>
  <em>Loser! I need the name of that boring thing you said when you sounded smart that time. Trying to impress a smart hottie.</em>
</p><p>Eliott groans miserably, letting his forehead fall to the table with a thud. Maybe it’s time to have words with those gut instincts of his.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>That ending... I... sorry? They demanded I end it there! Not my fault! </p><p>Ok, so some sources for you if you're interested:</p><p>- The case about the kid with the holes in their heart: https://www.jsonline.com/story/news/2019/04/18/groundbreaking-surgery-toddler-leads-a-miracle-us/3472755002/</p><p>- I used some of the wording from this article for the article on Moreau (my apologies to our brilliant Canadian doctor for the association): https://nationalpost.com/news/canada/meet-the-ace-canadian-heart-surgeon-who-does-the-stuff-other-doctors-are-too-scared-to-do</p><p>Until next weekend!</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks very much to all of you who left me kind messages this week. It's been rough but thankfully things are looking up &lt;3. </p><p>Warning for chapter: There is a sex scene in this chapter between Eliott and an OFC. It’s there for a purpose and I don’t recommend skipping it but please be forewarned (I promise it’s not that bad).</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>* * * * </p><p>“Ok, what is going on?” Lucille’s voice interrupts the peaceful quiet of their breakfast table. “Were you sucking someone’s dick last night?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott scrunches his nose in confusion, wondering if in the midst of his silent morning musings he’d missed part of a conversation.</p><p>She gestures to where his hand is still rubbing his jaw. “That thing you’re doing with your jaw. That is a ‘my jaw aches from sucking someone’s dick’ gesture if I ever saw one.”</p><p>“Anyone ever tell you, you have an absolutely filthy mouth, Luc?” Alex asks in the midst of shoving another spoonful of cereal in his mouth.</p><p>“I live with the two of you,” she replies primly. “It’s called adaptation.”</p><p>“Oh sure – act all innocent,” Eliott snorts. “Let’s not forget it was you who taught naïve little teen-me the joys of pegging.”</p><p>Alex promptly chokes on his cereal, coughing as Lucille and Eliott laugh. “I really didn’t need to know that but also…” He offers Lucille a fist-bump which she gladly receives.</p><p>“And no,” Eliott continues, “I was unfortunately not sucking anyone’s dick last night. I was at the hospital working late on that research thing.”</p><p>“Does it really leave a jaw ache the next day?” Alex suddenly asks, face openly curious.</p><p>“Uhhh…” Eliott stalls, entirely thrown to hear such a question come from Alex.</p><p>“It can,” Lucille admits. “You haven’t then? With any of the guys…”</p><p>Alex shakes his head. “Nah. Had them go down on me but not the other way.”</p><p>“You should try. See if you like it,” Lucille suggests, taking a bite out of her toast and speaking as though they were talking about politics or the weather. Eliott gapes, eyes swinging between them.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Alex grimaces slightly. “I like guys being with Emma and I sometimes, but I don’t really want to…” He shifts, looking uncomfortable.</p><p>“That’s ok,” Lucille comforts, reaching forward to rest a hand on Alex’s arm. “Even people in relationships with guys don’t always like to. It’s a personal choice.”</p><p>Alex nods, looking thoughtful. “Mostly I just like going down on Emma.”</p><p>Lucille smiles, looking touched. “That’s so sweet.”</p><p>Eliott presses a hand to his face with a groan. “You two realize we’re sitting at the breakfast table, yeah? I haven’t even been up for a half hour.”</p><p>“Oh, I’m sorry,” Lucille scoffs with a quick roll of her eyes. “I didn’t realize there were times of day we were allowed to talk about sex. Next time I’ll make sure to schedule an appointment.” She looks back at Alex. “What a prude.”</p><p>Eliott makes a high-pitched sound of offence. “I am not a prude. I –” He cuts himself off with a sigh, knowing this argument will get him nowhere and instead redirects back to the original topic. “And my jaw is sore because Lucas accidentally kneed me in the face.”</p><p>Lucille and Alex stare at him silently for a moment, identical expressions of confusion and shock on their faces.</p><p>“How do you accidentally knee someone in the face?” Alex finally asks.</p><p>“I’ve seen Lucas,” Lucille adds. “His knee is a long way from your face so exactly what were you doing for this to happen?” There’s a smirk growing on her face. Alex’s eyes widen as he recognizes the insinuation.</p><p>“Holy shit? Were you – you and Lucas?!”</p><p>“No!” Eliott objects and hopes it sounds convincing. It should. He wasn’t doing what they’re implying after all. He can’t understand why his answer still feels like a lie. “No. That’s not. I wasn’t –”</p><p>“On your knees in front of him?” Lucille asks, all false sweetness.</p><p>“Well, I was,” Eliott admits, and at the looks on their faces, rushes to add, “I was just picking up spilled candy from the floor and he turned around and…” He trails off, gesturing to his jaw. There’s no mark left thankfully but an uncomfortable ache serves as a vivid reminder of the moment and… all that came after.</p><p>“Oh,” Lucille’s lower lip protrudes. “Well that really is a boring explanation.”</p><p>“Like you said,” Alex nods, “a prude.” Lucille laughs.</p><p>“He’s my coworker!” Eliott protests, reconsidering his decision to sit down with them this morning for breakfast. “Not going down on him in the break room of the hospital that employs us, does not make me a prude.” He doesn’t mention the fact that he absolutely would have, should Lucas have asked. An image suddenly flashes through his mind. Lucas looking down at him, eyes wide, pupils dilated, black-rimmed glasses and colourful tattooed arm. The way he’d swallowed, as though his mouth had suddenly gone dry at the sight of Eliott kneeling at his feet. And another – a flash that’s less memory than rampant desire – the way it would have looked if Jeremy had walked in on them, Eliott with his mouth wrapped around Lucas’s cock, spit running down his chin as he refuses to let up, as he forces Lucas deeper into his throat, Lucas’s head thrown back, hand clutching desperately to Eliott’s hair, on the brink of orgasm. The way the shock of someone entering the room would have done it. And he would have come, pulsed again and again onto Eliott’s tongue. Eliott would have swallowed.</p><p>Alex thankfully interrupts the spiral of his thoughts. “Emma’s my coworker though.”</p><p>“Yeah but you two are in a relationship. And it’s not like you’re going down on her in the middle of the staff break room.” At Alex’s silence, Eliott continues in horror. “Oh god, you haven’t, have you? I ate M&amp;Ms directly off that table!”</p><p>Alex shrugs. “Not in the break room. The on-call rooms though…”</p><p>Lucille snorts. “Head in the middle of a workday? Emma is a lucky girl.” Alex grins.</p><p>“You’re serious?” Eliott asks, unsure how he feels about this information.</p><p>“Yeah,” Alex nods, spooning another bite of cereal into his mouth and talking as he chews. “We work long shifts. There are locks on the doors and that’s literally what the on-call rooms are there for.”</p><p>“That is so <em>not </em>literally what the on-call rooms are there for,” Eliott laughs. “They’re for us to rest when we can.”</p><p>“You rest in them then. I’ll fuck.”</p><p>Lucille laughs. “Your jobs are so much more interesting than mine.”</p><p>“I don’t even get how you guys find the time.” Eliott thinks of his own days, usually spent feeling behind and with limited time even for breaks or lunch.</p><p>“You gotta make the time,” Alex states, as though he were offering inspirational words on how to succeed in life and not advice on hooking up in the middle of one’s workday.</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “I think I’ll leave that to you and Emma.”</p><p>“Prude,” Lucille mumbles beneath her breath and Eliott offers her a withering glare in response.</p><p>“Believe me,” Alex continues, “the second you have a reason to lock the door of an on-call room, it won’t be hard to find the time.”</p><p>An image comes to Eliott’s mind once more. Only it’s the moment the candy bag had ripped. Lucas still half in Eliott’s arms, laughing, smile wide and eyes shining with happiness.</p><p>Yeah, Alex might be onto something.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Eliott, hey.” Yann catches him in the locker room at the end of shift, just as Eliott is changing.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott greets, pulling his shirt down his chest and turning to Yann with a smile. “How’d your day go?”</p><p>“Yeah, it was good.” Yann doesn’t say anything else, line of sight resting on the bench as he nods to himself.</p><p>Eliott pauses with one arm in the sleeve of his jacket. “Was there –” Nerves flutter to life in his stomach. “Was there something else?”</p><p>Yann shakes his head, but his words suggest the opposite. “Lucas mentioned he saw you last night?”</p><p>A spike of cold shoots down Eliott’s spine. “Um, yeah.” Did Lucas say something? Of course he would. Yann is his best friend. But Eliott can’t be sure exactly what that means. How Lucas would have relayed… everything between them. In what detail and to what extent. And even more significantly, how Eliott comes across when the story is retold from Lucas’s perspective. He can’t imagine it’s all that well. Trying to explain – trying to justify the way he’d behaved… the way they <em>both </em>continue to behave however…</p><p>Yann nods, lips pursed. “He left with Jeremy though?”</p><p>That throws Eliott entirely. He can feel his brows bunch together as he answers. “Yeah. Uh, what is this about, Yann?”</p><p>Yann looks at him for a moment more before he’s turning to press his back against the lockers and knocking his head back against them with a heavy exhale. “Shit. Sorry. He’s just being evasive as fuck right now. He got back in the middle of the night and he was crazy pissy this morning. Like, he’s always sleepy and grumpy in the morning,” Eliott smiles as he imagines a sleep rumpled, grumpy Lucas, “but this was different. He’d normally talk to me but…”</p><p>“He didn’t?” Eliott asks gently.</p><p>Yann shakes his head. “He’s been weird lately.” He raises an eyebrow, clearly communicating that he sees Eliott at least partially responsible for this. Eliott offers a single nod of his head in acknowledgement. Yann turns to stare at the lockers across from him. “And this thing with Jeremy… I don’t know. I just want to know what’s going on with him.”</p><p>“You really love him, hunh?” It makes Eliott smile. To know Lucas has friends who care for him so deeply.</p><p>Yann hums in agreement and tilts his head back to Eliott. “He’s been through a lot of shit. And he has a habit of shutting down when…” Yann trails off with a shake of his head. “Fuck. I need to shut up.” He pushes off the lockers and turns towards Eliott. “What do you think of Jeremy?” Eliott grimaces before he can think to edit the reaction. Yann laughs. “Wow. That was generous.”</p><p>Eliott huffs a slight laugh of his own. “Sorry. He’s, uh, fine. Nice. I guess.”</p><p>“Jesus, don’t hurt yourself searching for something nice to say.”</p><p>“I just think,” Eliott begins, searching for the best way to express himself, “he tries too hard. And when it’s obvious Lucas isn’t into him –”</p><p>“You don’t think Lucas is into him?” Yann’s eyebrows are raised in surprise.</p><p>Eliott frowns. “No. He’s not.” The anxious fluttering in his stomach increases its intensity. “Why?” Eliott swallows. “Do you think he is?”</p><p>Yann jerks his shoulders in a slight shrug. “I didn’t, but… he left with him and got back in the middle of the night so…”</p><p>The fluttering in Eliott’s stomach stops dead, leaving a gaping hole in its place. It’s a thought he’d smothered as soon as it had entered his mind when Lucas had left with Jeremy. He’d known of course – that Lucas and Jeremy… well… that it was the implication. But…</p><p>“He was trying to piss me off.”</p><p>Yann snorts. “By getting home in the middle of the night? Were you planning on checking on him or…?”</p><p>“No.” Eliott releases a frustrated breath. “I mean – leaving with Jeremy. He probably wasn’t… I don’t think he…” His eyes fall to the floor between them as he contemplates the possibilities.</p><p>“Well, one way to find out!” Yann slaps a hand against the lockers as he turns to leave.</p><p>“Wait!” Eliott calls, grabbing his bag and slamming his locker shut before following. “What do you mean?”</p><p>Yann holds the door behind him, waiting until Eliott exits and they begin walking down the hall together. “He’s staying late.”</p><p>“You’re going to – you’ll ask him? If he…”</p><p>Yann exhales a sound of amusement. “Maybe. Depends if this is ‘being a dick Lucas because he’s upset’ or ‘being a dick Lucas because he needs to talk.’”</p><p>“Which do you think it is?” Eliott asks, a little envious of the thought of being able to read Lucas so well.</p><p>Yann glances at him. “We’re about to find out.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>When they enter the break room, Lucas and Imane are settled on the couch, various books and snacks spread across the coffee table before them. The greeting from them both at the sight of Yann entering the room is initially pleasant. The moment Lucas sets eyes on Eliott however, his countenance becomes considerably icier. Eliott tries not to take it too personally, but then… he’s pretty sure he’s meant to.</p><p>Yann settles into a plush chair adjacent to the couch, and Eliott pulls a chair from the table to sit across from Imane and Lucas on the other side of the coffee table. Putting himself in Lucas’s direct line of sight is merely a happy accident.   </p><p>Lucas isn’t looking at him however, attention focused on Yann. “You really showed up here, Cazas  - crashing the precious time Imane and I get to spend together,” Imane snorts at that as Lucas continues, “and without any offerings for the table?” He gestures to the coffee table where there is a tray of half eaten veggies (Eliott would put money on those being Imane’s) and various other snack items spread.</p><p>“Oh, right,” Yann laughs, “because I’m sure you came with food you’re willing to share.”</p><p>“I did!” Lucas rebuts, looking affronted. He points to where an assortment of candy sits. “I brought candy for everyone.”</p><p>Eliott can’t help himself, recalling the day before though it feels like far longer ago already, when he and Lucas had fought over the bag of M&amp;Ms. He asks, “Even me?”</p><p>Lucas turns to look at him, expression unreadable, for only a split second before he’s looking away without answering. “What are you doing here anyways?” Lucas continues, the question directed at Yann. “You said you didn’t care about this surgery.”</p><p>“You don’t?” Imane asks curiously.</p><p>“Yann wants to specialize in colon and rectal,” Lucas answers for him, clearly joking. “Heart surgery is beneath him.”</p><p>“Shut the hell up,” Yann laughs. “Beneath me my ass.”</p><p>“Exactly.” Lucas wiggles an eyebrow. “A fan of that ass myself.”</p><p>“You really don’t want it? The surgery?” Eliott interrupts their banter to ask. “Most of us will probably end up in different specialties but it’s still… I mean… it’s heart surgery.” He shrugs, unable to think of a more eloquent way of putting it. Heart surgery speaks for itself, after all.</p><p>Yann grimaces, looking at Lucas quickly before he answers. “Well, that and Moreau is a fucking prick. I don’t care what the surgery is, I don’t want anything to do with that asshole.”</p><p>“Wow,” Imane says, looking about as surprised as Eliott feels. “That’s a strong moral stance to take.”</p><p>“Not really,” Yann disagrees. “Not like I’m being offered the surgery on a silver platter. It’s a competition. I doubt I stand a chance anyways. Easy to come out sounding like I chose a moral route when that’s the case.” Imane nods, conceding his point.</p><p>Lucas is conspicuously quiet and Eliott eyes drift back to him. He sits leaning forward on the couch, a sweet smile on his face directed towards his best friend.</p><p>“What about you?” Eliott turns back at the sound of Yann’s voice. “You want it?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, repressing the desire to check Lucas’s reaction. “Don’t we all? Aside from you, I mean.”</p><p>“I don’t.”</p><p>Eliott swings his head back to stare at Lucas in surprise. “What?”</p><p>Lucas is fiddling with a bag of candy on the table and glances up at Eliott only slightly, eyes partially obscured by his eyelashes. “I don’t. Yann’s right. Moreau’s a prick.”</p><p>Shock shudders through Eliott’s body. So many questions occurring to him at once, he finds it hard to focus on any in particular. “What? But you –” Lucas’s expression is wary, body held tense, and Eliott fumbles as he continues, “You’ve been staying late every night. You’re working so hard. I don’t…” <em>Understand</em>. He doesn’t understand. None of it. Since that very first night he saw them together – Moreau and Lucas. And Eliott has tried hard – harder than it ever should have required – not to think much about it. He’d been wrong to judge Lucas so harshly when he’d seen them together. He didn’t know the situation – didn’t know whether they were still seeing one another, whether it was casual or serious. Whatever it was hadn’t prevented Lucas from going out with Jeremy. And without actually having to <em>see </em>Lucas and Moreau together, it was easy to forget entirely that it was ever a thing. Preferable, if Eliott were honest. But this… Lucas calling Moreau an asshole… well <em>that</em> Eliott wouldn’t have expected under any circumstances.</p><p>Lucas shrugs, and the candy bag crinkles in his hands as he fusses with it. “I want to find an answer. Did you read the patient details?” Eliott nods. In truth, he’d only skimmed the relevant information as it pertained to the case they were researching. Most of the details had been immaterial and Eliott hadn’t given them a lot of consideration. “His name’s Noah. He’s sixteen,” Lucas continues. “He’s a kid. A kid who’s been through multiple major heart surgeries. Imagine how fucking terrifying that is.”</p><p>“He’s not the only one though,” Imane speaks while Eliott finds himself totally unable to form words, staring at Lucas with a feeling building at the core of his body that he can’t quite name. “I don’t mean to sound callous,” she assures when Lucas turns to look at her. “Truly, I don’t. But he’s hardly the youngest patient undergoing major heart surgery. And definitely not the youngest Moreau has operated on.”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas agrees, but he looks frustrated. “It’s different though. It’s not like – like being four years old and having no idea what’s going on. He’s sixteen. He should be worried about who’s he got a crush on, or what exam is coming up. Instead it’s life and death. Nothing is going to be the same again for him. And if there’s something we can do, to make that easier, to give him the best option for recovery and a normal life, we should.”</p><p>Silence settles over the group as they all digest Lucas’s words.</p><p>“But then,” Eliott speaks, voice cautious and quiet, “why not be a part of the surgery? Even if Moreau is…” Eliott pauses at the look on Lucas’s face, distrustful and defensive, and he hates that he made Lucas feel that way, as though he has reason to fear the words that will come from Eliott’s mouth. He tries again, keeping his tone as gentle and judgement free as he can make it. “We won’t always like the people we work with.” Lucas’s right eye slightly twitches. Eliott rushes to continue, “I mean the surgeons – not – I didn’t mean one another – I meant, the senior surgeons.” There’s a tilt to the corners of Lucas’s mouth and Eliott relaxes his shoulders slightly at the sight. “I’m not exactly a fan of his either.” Lucas’s eyes drop back to the candy on the table. “But I’d do it. The chance to observe a surgery like that. You’re still a part of it – helping – even if it’s with him.”</p><p>“Then you do it.” The words are said so quietly, initially Eliott isn’t sure he’s heard correctly.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You do it,” Lucas says with more purpose, looking up with eyes determined. “We find the answer. You take the surgery.”</p><p>“You want to work together?” It’s been a thought stewing in Eliott’s brain since Manon first suggested it. Having it come to fruition in any capacity – never mind at Lucas’s suggestion – was not at all something Eliott expected, however.</p><p>Lucas sits back on the couch with a slight huff. “Don’t sound so excited by the prospect.”</p><p>“No! I am!” Eliott bursts with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm if the way Imane and Yann turn to look at him is anything to go by. “I mean – I think it’s a good idea. Not even for the surgery, but solving it together would be – um, yeah, good.”</p><p>“Not even for the surgery?” Lucas repeats with a skeptical eyebrow raised. “You’re allowed to be competitive. You know that right?”</p><p>“Of course I know that,” Eliott responds with a quick roll of his eyes. “You do too,” he points out. “No one brings it out in me more than you.”</p><p>“Really?” Lucas asks, looking genuinely surprised.</p><p>“Like you didn’t know.”</p><p>As a matter of fact, Lucas <em>does</em> look as though this is brand new information. Knowledge that seems to have pleased him, Eliott notes, watching the way Lucas drops his eyes, tilting his head own with a small smile.</p><p>“Competitive with him maybe,” Imane breaks in, and when Eliott directs his attention in her direction, there’s a mischievous twinkle to her eye, all too reminiscent of her brother, “ but you remember that track day in second year?”</p><p>Eliott groans, knowing just where this conversation is headed.</p><p>“What?” Yann pipes up from where he’s sprawled, comfortably sunken down into the side chair with a bag of chips. “What happened?”</p><p>“Nothing,” Eliott attempts, knowing it’s of no use. “I just didn’t prioritize the competition quite the same as everyone else.”</p><p>“<em>Prioritize the competition</em>,” Imane mocks with a grin. “You literally tripped Idriss in the 100-meter sprint. I actually thought he was going to kill you.”</p><p>“You tripped him to win?” Yann snorts. “Sounds competitive to me.”</p><p>“No,” Imane laughs. “He tripped him to let someone else win.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks now, leaning forward on the couch with a smile he doesn’t try to hide.</p><p>“I had my reasons. Good reasons,” Eliott protests.</p><p>Imane acknowledges that with a slight nod. “That’s my point. Competition goes out the window when you think someone is getting hurt.” Her eyes swing between Yann and Lucas and she leans forward slightly as though she’s about to share a guarded secret. “There was this kid in their class –”</p><p>“Jo,” Eliott fills in, smiling slightly as he thinks back on her.</p><p>“Jo,” Imane allows. “Anyways she was obsessed with Eliott.”</p><p>“She wasn’t <em>obsessed</em>,” Eliott disagrees but Imane pays him no mind.</p><p>“And somehow she ended up in the 100-meter sprint with Eliott, Idriss, and a few other kids.”</p><p>“Only because our teacher was an asshole,” Eliott grumbles, filling in the blanks in the story. “He was too lazy to organize divisions that would have allowed for fair competition.”</p><p>“And Eliott was determined that she should win –”</p><p>“Why?” Lucas interrupts to ask.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes move back to him. “Jo was… sweet.” He shrugs. “And she wanted to win so badly.”</p><p>“She was a bit of an outcast,” Imane translates, though she does so with enough kindness in her tone, Eliott doesn’t feel the need to disagree. “She didn’t have a lot of friends in school and some of the other kids were awful to her.” Eliott nods, cringing a little as he thinks back on it. “And it didn’t make things easier on her that she had a crush on Eliott. She’d gone on and on about the sprint – about how good she was.”</p><p>“And you thought letting her win would help?” Lucas clarifies, looking about as uncertain of this plan as Idriss had been at the time.</p><p>“I don’t know. I understood her. If it weren’t for Idriss forcing his friendship on me, I could have been her. And I figured it wouldn’t hurt,” Eliott admits.</p><p>“Idriss disagreed,” Imane explains, smile growing. “He was <em>not</em> about to lose.”</p><p>“It was just a stupid, fun school race, anyways,” Eliott complains as though he was once again facing off the stubborn face of his best friend.</p><p>Lucas snorts. “Yeah, I’m sure that argument went over well. No one could compete with the size of Idriss’s ego.”</p><p>“I don’t know.” Eliott throws Lucas a cheeky grin. “I’d say yours could give him a run for his money.” Lucas rolls his eyes but doesn’t look upset by this assertion.</p><p>“So?” Yann prompts. “What happened?”</p><p>“Idriss refused to play along,” Imane continues. “So Eliott tripped him. Right out of the start.” She starts laughing and Yann and Lucas follow suit.</p><p>“Damn,” Lucas says through laughter. “Idriss going down must have sounded like a tree toppling.” That only makes Imane laugh harder.</p><p>“He must have been pissed!” Yann snorts.</p><p>“Only for a bit,” Eliott says, laughing a little as he remembers Idriss’s face when he’d turned to look at Eliott after they’d both face-planted onto the track in Eliott’s efforts to slow Idriss down. “He helped me prank our teacher right after, so he didn’t stay mad long.”</p><p>“Prank your teacher?” Lucas asks with a delighted smile.</p><p>“Well yeah,” Eliott agrees. “It was his fault all of this happened in the first place.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “You are something else.” It sounds like a compliment.</p><p>“And did she win?” Yann asks. “Jo?”</p><p>Eliott grins. “She did.”</p><p>“I still remember the way she launched herself at you,” Imane laughs. “Literally leapt right into your arms.”</p><p>“Did she know what you did?” Lucas asks.</p><p>“Nah,” Eliott shakes his head. “She was just happy.”</p><p>“You did two good deeds that day.” Imane smiles. “Gave Jo the win and took Idriss down a notch. That’s when I decided you were my favourite out of all Idriss’s dumbass friends.”</p><p>“A high compliment,” Eliott laughs just as the door to the break room opens and the man in question walks in.</p><p>“Ah, just the tree we were talking about,” Lucas crows in delight at the sight of him.</p><p>“Excuse me?” Idriss asks, making his way over to them, arms laden down with a number of tote bags.</p><p>“Don’t worry about it,” Eliott dismisses quickly, knowing if the story is brought up in Idriss’s presence, he’ll be faced with an irate best friend all over again. Idriss never did entirely get over losing that sprint.</p><p>“Food courtesy of Sof,” Idriss says, laying the bags down next to the coffee table and parceling the food out on the surface. </p><p>Imane hums happily at the sight. “Knew there was a reason I chose that man.”</p><p>“Here.” Idriss hands a package to Eliott. It looks to be – oh – the pastries.</p><p>“Oh, they aren’t really my thing,” Eliott says, avoiding Idriss’s eyes as he turns to place them on the table.</p><p>“Oh my god, Sof’s olive pastries?!” Lucas leans forward excitedly, immediately taking the wrap off the plate. “These are my favourite!” He doesn’t look up, grabbing one of the pastries and immediately biting into it, eyes closing with a blissful groan.</p><p>When Eliott turns to continue in helping to distribute food, Idriss’s eyes are on him. There’s a smug smile on his face that’s all too familiar. It’s Idriss’s ‘<em>I knew it</em>’ face. Eliott rolls his eyes.</p><p>“I guess I can get in on this action before I go.” The sound of Yann’s voice pulls Idriss’s attention away.</p><p>“You’re leaving?” Lucas asks.</p><p>Yann nods. “After I shovel as much of this home-cooked goodness into my mouth as possible. Only came to make sure you were ok, anyways.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks at the same time Imane turns to him in concern.</p><p>“You’re not ok?”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t answer. Instead looking back to Yann. “Why wouldn’t I be ok?”</p><p>“You nearly took my head off this morning when I asked if you’d used up the creamer,” Yann scoffs. “It was a bit extreme. Even for grumpy morning you.”</p><p>“Awww. Is Lucas a grump in the morning?” Idriss coos. “Bet sleepy, grumpy Lucas is more adorable than threatening.” Eliott frowns, catching Idriss’s eye long enough to give him a reproachful look. Idriss only raises his hands slightly in mock surrender. The dickhead.</p><p>“I was fine this morning. You were just being annoying,” Lucas argues.</p><p>“Being annoying by asking you if you’d had a good night and if there was any creamer left?” Yann asks, looking unimpressed by this explanation.</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas pouts looking… well, grumpy. It’s about as adorable as Eliott imagined it to be. “I was tired. I barely got three hours of sleep.”</p><p>“Why?” It’s not Yann asking but Idriss, looking curious but unconcerned as he shovels a spoonful of the chicken and lentil dish into his mouth.</p><p>Lucas shrugs uncomfortably, gaze moving as though he’s going to look at Eliott but stopping just before and darting back to Idriss. “I got home at like two. And I needed to be at the hospital early this morning so… no sleep.” He reaches to serve himself some of the kefta from another container as though the conversation is over, but Idriss has latched on quickly to the details offered, face splitting into a grin the Cheshire cat would envy.</p><p>“Just what were you doing out so late. Or should I say… <em>who</em>?”</p><p>“Wait!” Imane, formerly silent with her face deep into a bowl of curry, suddenly pipes up, rounding on Lucas fiercely. “You went out with him again? I thought you said you weren’t going to?”</p><p>“Imane knows?!” Idriss cries, looking truly offended. “Why does Imane know and I don’t know?”</p><p>“Why would he trust you with any information?” Imane scoffs. “You’re besties with resident hospital gossip!”</p><p>Idriss inhales so sharply in offense, he promptly chokes on the chicken he’s been eating. Hacking as he pounds his chest with a fist.</p><p>“Jesus fuck – just – shut up, both of you,” Lucas says, wiping a frustrated hand own his face. At the look on Imane’s face he quickly recants. “Sorry, shit. I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” She still doesn’t look impressed.</p><p>Lucas sighs. “Yes, I went out with him – Jeremy,” he adds for Idriss’s benefit. “That’s it. End of story. It’s no big deal.”</p><p>“Jeremy?” Idriss scrunches his nose, turning to look at Eliott. “Which one is he?”</p><p>Eliott snorts, irrationally pleased by the question. “Yeah, he’s pretty forgettable.”</p><p>“Oh, alright,” Lucas scoffs, sounding truly annoyed, “thanks so much for that.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott turns back to him and finds that the sight of Lucas’s ire immediately evokes his own – like some sort of seriously messed up Pavlov response. “How is that insulting you?”</p><p>“Only a forgettable guy would be into me?” Lucas challenges.</p><p>It’s an enormous leap to take from what Eliott said to <em>that</em> conclusion. And Eliott is just… fed up. Fed up and aggravated. “Jesus. I didn’t say that. It’s not a reflection on you.” Lucas doesn’t look at all appeased. “Stop misinterpreting everything I say.”</p><p>“Right,” Lucas scoffs. “Because <em>I’m </em>the one who does that.”</p><p>“Why’s everyone getting mad?” Idriss interjects with one hand raised between them as though his physical presence serves as interruption enough. “All I wanted to know is if Lucas got laid.”</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas answers, the waver in his voice the only indication as to his unease as he looks away from Eliott towards Idriss. “Yes, I slept with him. Good enough?” An odd weightless feeling overcomes Eliott. It reminds him of that first night, at Idriss’s party, in the bathroom with Lucas. Only it had been good then – disorienting but good. This feeling is the antithesis. The same but wrong – everything is wrong. He drills his eyes into the side of Lucas’s face. </p><p>“No,” Idriss scoffs. He turns to lean back against the corner of the chair Yann occupies, slapping Yann’s leg with the back of his hand. “Why’d he just say that like I asked him if he murdered someone?”</p><p>Yann snorts. “Can’t speak to what he’s like in bed myself…”</p><p>“Ok, shut up now,” Lucas sighs unhappily, slumping back into the couch.</p><p>“Maybe because he doesn’t want to talk about it,” Imane defends. She sends her brother a scathing look. “Not everyone wants to discuss sex.”</p><p>Idriss’s face scrunches. “Yeah, I don’t even want to hear that word come out of your mouth.”</p><p>Imane looks amused now. “What’s that? Sex? You don’t want to hear me talking about <em>sex</em>?” Lucas snickers a little at her side, instantly looking lighter as he watches the siblings bicker.</p><p>“Ugh, stop!” Idriss shouts. “Bad enough you’re gonna marry my best friend. I don’t want to think about what you’ll do with him.”</p><p>“What I’ll do with him? You mean <em>sex</em>?!” Imane says the word with extra emphasis. “You don’t want to think about how I’ll sex him?”</p><p>That makes Idriss pause, eyebrows pulling together. “How you’ll ‘sex him’?” He snorts. “You sure you’re familiar with the concept? That’s not how we say it.”</p><p>“We?” Imane’s voice is ripe with mocking. “You lead a sex council or something? What’s it called? Horny guys who can’t get laid and other sexually explicit grammatical corrections?”</p><p>Yann and Lucas laugh as Imane and Idriss continue to squabble. Eliott feels a bit as though he’s on the outside looking in. Not because he’s being excluded, he could easily partake in the banter should he choose. But he feels disconnected from the events occurring before him. It’s as though his brain has chosen the route of dissociated emotion as an alternative to the reality. He feels… devastated. It’s overwhelming, too much and too overpowering for his brain to process all at once. And it’s ridiculous too – that he should feel this distraught at the knowledge Lucas slept with Jeremy. Because truly… what did Eliott think was going to happen? He’d known the moment Lucas had left the break room the day prior. He’d known and simply refused to accept it. And he can’t stop thinking about it, as the others banter and laugh around him – the thought of Jeremy’s hands on Lucas’s body… his mouth pressed to Lucas’s skin… Lucas making sounds for him, sounds of pleasure… Jeremy inside… Queasiness overwhelms Eliott and he reaches for a can of juice set on the table, pressing the cool tin to his forehead as he inhales a shuddering breath.</p><p>“Hey,” Idriss presses at the side of Eliott’s leg from his position on the floor, asking quietly, “you ok?”</p><p>Eliott nods without looking at him, knowing he’s far too transparent where his best friend is concerned. Idriss won’t buy it for a moment. But he’ll leave Eliott alone at least for the time being. Eliott looks up instead towards Lucas, and he’s startled to realize that among the turbulent emotions rolling in his stomach, anger is one. He’s not angry <em>with</em> Lucas – Lucas has done nothing wrong, after all. But the feeling simmers all the same. He’s angry <em>because </em>of him – angry that Lucas can so easily sleep with Jeremy, angry that it’s so much harder for Eliott, angry that he can’t seem to let go of whatever it was that happened between them when Lucas has no problem doing so, angry that he cares – that he cares so much it’s like the knowledge is eating him from the inside out.</p><p>Sensing Eliott’s eyes on him and unable to resist meeting them any longer, Lucas turns towards him. Eliott drops his eyes to the table rather than meet his gaze. There’s a pack of M&amp;Ms, obscured beneath a pile of other candy bars. Eliott reaches for it, settling back into his chair and tearing into the candy. He lifts the bag and pours a few directly into his mouth. It’s unsanitary but it doesn’t matter.</p><p>He’s not sharing.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>His plan had been simple: leave early, meet Anna outside with no one else any the wiser, take her home, remind himself why they’d continued sleeping together for months, and forget entirely about Lucas. That was, until he stood to leave, Idriss declared he’d leave as well (no doubt with the intention of interrogating Eliott on the way out), only to have Imane decide she’d go too in order to rope Idriss into taking her to pick up Sofiane, at which point Lucas had said he wasn’t staying alone and insisted on leaving with everyone else. They manage to shake Imane when she’d wanted to grab notes she’d forgotten in her locker, much to Idriss’s, “<em>You work too hard. Your notes aren’t going to up and leave over night,”</em> complaining. But Idriss and Lucas remain, walking together just to Eliott’s side and aggravatingly being far too polite – stopping to wait for him even when he’d paused to re-tie his shoe in the hopes they’d walk ahead.</p><p>And so Eliott finds himself breaking into a cold sweat as they all exit the building together. A part of him – a very petty part of him he didn’t like to acknowledge existed – wanted Lucas to see Anna. Shame, hot and sickly sweet, bubbles in his stomach at the thought alone. But, as with all things when it comes to Lucas, no singular emotion dominates. Instead a flurry meet in a warring frenzy, leaving Eliott light-headed and more than a little uncertain. There’s something a little relieving about the choice being taken out of his hands. Idriss yelling, “Batgirl!” as a greeting the moment he spots Anna outside, takes any thought of escaping with Anna unseen directly out of Eliott’s hands.</p><p>Lucas’s head whips towards the subject of Idriss’s attention at a velocity Eliott can’t help but notice. Eliott drags his eyes away to give Anna his attention as she approaches. He is happy to see her. Truly. It’s just hard to appreciate amidst that familiar feeling of sinking in quicksand.</p><p>“Gorgeous,” Anna greets Idriss first, leaning forward to share kisses on the cheek. “Hear you got yourself a girl. Shame to see a man like you off the market but I can’t say I blame her.” Idriss immediately rounds on Eliott.</p><p>“Anna!” Eliott reprimands, though he doubts it will have much effect. Judging by that smile on Anna’s face, she knows exactly what’s she’s doing. He raises placating hands to Idriss. “I only told her there was someone you liked.”</p><p>“Manon?” Lucas’s voice comes from just beside Eliott’s shoulder. “You told <em>her</em> about Manon?”</p><p>Eliott looks back at Lucas in surprise. If he’s not incorrect, that was accusation in Lucas’s tone. “I –”</p><p>“It’s Anna, actually.” She’s stepped closer and stopped in front of Eliott, looking past him to Lucas. “A little better than batgirl or <em>her</em>, I’d say.” Her tone is friendly enough but Eliott can hear the annoyance simmering underneath.</p><p>“Yeah, I know.” Well… if Anna’s annoyance is simmering just beneath the surface, Lucas’s is spilling over.</p><p>“Oh.” Anna’s eyes dart to Eliott quickly before moving back to Lucas. “I’m so sorry. We’ve met?” She’s genuinely apologetic, obviously embarrassed to not be able to place Lucas’s face. One thing Eliott learned early into knowing Anna is that she prides herself on remembering faces and names, of making anyone she meets and engages in conversation feel important. She says it’s the name of the game working in the fashion industry, and the reason she’s experienced so much success at a young age. It had come up when she’d challenged him one late night after he’d complained she was far too nice to Alex and Emma despite the fact that the two had wished them a particularly graphic and entirely inappropriate good night, <em>“Common courtesy isn’t hard, Eliott. People just like to tell themselves being an asshole is easier.”</em></p><p>“It’s fine,” Lucas dismisses. He looks up from where his eyes had dropped to the pavement and meets Eliott’s eyes for one searing moment. “Forgettable, wasn’t it?” Then he’s leaving, walking with quick strides away from them before Eliott has any opportunity to respond.</p><p>“Wait,” Anna says with dawning awareness. “I’m having déjà vu. Was that your coworker? From the first night we met?” Eliott nods miserably just as Idriss’s hand falls to his shoulder.</p><p>Anna cringes. “God, I’m sorry. I seem to have a knack for pissing him off.”</p><p>“He hates Eliott,” Idriss explains with a snort. “It’s not about you. Don’t worry.”</p><p>“He doesn’t hate me,” Eliott protests immediately, only realizing Idriss’s comment was bait when his best friend’s eyebrow rises in sync with one corner of his mouth.</p><p>“No? You gonna update me on that situation then?”</p><p>“Situation?” Anna asks, sounding as though she’d be happy to engage in a round of gossip with Idriss. That is <em>not </em>happening. Not when all Eliott needs is to forget.</p><p>“You,” he points at Idriss, “shut your mouth. And you,” he rounds on Anna only to immediately drop his pointing hand at the look on her face, “er… I mean… would you like to leave?”</p><p>She snorts. “Sure, babe.” She offers Idriss a quick wink in departure. “Later, gorgeous.”</p><p>“Treat him right, batgirl.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>He tries. He does. And it’s not hard with Anna. Or it shouldn’t be. She’s beautiful and sexy and more than willing to make up for his distraction. They strip themselves of their clothing without any preamble. Neither of them particularly interested in delaying their purpose with any teasing. And she’s soft and warm and willing, kissing him with what is clearly days of pent-up desire. Eliott responds as best as he can. He pushes away thoughts of harder bodies, of stubble and Adam’s apples. And yet he still finds himself startled when his hand moves on her body and finds her soft breast instead of the harder muscle he’d been expecting. When he sucks a nipple into his mouth and her soft moan is not the harsher grunt he was imagining.</p><p>She stops him as he’s descending her body, lips pressed to her skin and determined to make up for his involuntary detachment. Pulling him until he sits upright with back against the headboard, she straddles his lap, pressing a gentle kiss to his mouth.</p><p>“Are you alright?”</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. He can’t screw this up. It’s not Anna’s fault he’s so… confused. “Yeah,” he assures, “I’m fine.”</p><p>“You sure?” Her gaze falling down to… <em>double fuck</em>… where his dick is most certainly not standing at attention.</p><p>“Shit,” he exhales unhappily. “I’m sorry –”</p><p>“Eliott,” she interrupts, cupping a hand to the side of his face, “don’t apologize. It’s ok if you’re not into this and want to stop.”</p><p>“No,” he rushes, and even he’s a little surprised by the determination in his tone. “No, I don’t want to stop. I’m just – work was stressful. I think my head is all over the place. I’m sorry.”</p><p>She smiles, wiggling an eyebrow. “Well, I can help with that.” She crawls off him and is descending without another word, enveloping his cock into her mouth without hesitation.</p><p>He groans, tipping his head back against the headboard as he concentrates on the sensation. It’s good. It always is with Anna. And she knows what he likes. It’s not long before he’s straining in her mouth, and she pulls off with a pop and a pleased grin.</p><p>“Not bad if I do say so myself.”</p><p>He laughs, reaching to grab the condom off the side table and slipping it on with a satisfied sigh, even the touch of his own hand feeling more than a little good now. She moves back to straddle him, holding his erection as she raises herself above him.</p><p>“Like this?” He asks, watching with eager eyes as she pushes down, bringing him into her body with a satisfied moan.</p><p>“Yes,” she sighs happily once she’s seated with all of him inside her. “God. I missed your cock.”</p><p>His laugh turns to a groan as she starts moving, rocking him slowly in and out of her body as she grinds herself against his pubic bone. “A guy might – <em>fuck</em> – a guy might think you’re using him only for his dick.”</p><p>“A guy might be right.” She throws her head back, hands on his shoulders giving her leverage as she pumps him in and out of her body at a slow, gratifying pace.</p><p>Her eyes drop back to him, pupils swallowing the dark brown. A flash of blue streaks across Eliott’s vision. He squeezes his eyes shut and concentrates on the way she feels, moving his hands to her hips and guiding her motions. Only it’s splashes of colour behind his eyelids, vines and flowers crawling up an arm, tight with contracted muscles as it moves. He follows the colours down… down to wear they disappear beneath fabric, where a hand moves, driving for release. Soft sounds falling from perfect pink lips. But when he opens his eyes it’s Anna, beautiful and soft and… not <em>him</em>. Eliott can’t do this.</p><p>Anna’s motions have stopped.</p><p>Eliott swallows heavily. “I’m sorry.”</p><p>She rolls off him, reaching to pull the blankets up in front of her as she kneels at his side on the bed, and catches her breath.</p><p>“Are you ok? Did I do something?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott assures. “No. No, you’re perfect.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes. “Well, thanks. But I meant did I <em>physically</em> do something.” Her eyes drop to where his dick rests soft now against his thigh. “Did I hurt you?”</p><p>Eliott reaches for part of the blankets, pulling them to cover himself as he disposes of the empty condom. “No, I – I’m fine.” He can’t look her in the face, instead dropping his eyes to his hands on the blanket. “I don’t know why – it has nothing to do with you. I’m just a little screwed up right now – and I’m – I’m sorry. You don’t deserve it. I just –”</p><p>“Ok, ok,” she cuts him off, reaching forward to press a finger beneath his chin to tip his face back up to meet her eyes. She sighs in response to whatever she sees. “Hold on.” She turns, moving off the bed and quickly putting back on her underwear and shirt. When she gets back on the bed, her hands move to his shoulders and she begins manhandling him.</p><p>“What are you doing?” He lets her push him down against the mattress until his head is sinks into the soft pillow.</p><p>“I’m getting you comfy and cozy because I have a feeling you’re going to need it for this conversation.”</p><p>“Conversation?” He can’t hide the trepidation in his voice. “Anna, I really am sorry. I –”</p><p>“Relax,” she laughs softly, pulling the covers up and tucking them around him. “I’m not about to read you the riot act for leaving me high and dry.” She glances down her body with a cocked eyebrow. “Ok, maybe not dry.” She grimaces, adjusting her underwear.</p><p>“I can…” He motions in the direction of her lower body, guilt at having been such an unsatisfying lover niggling away at his insides.</p><p>“No.” She swats lightly at the side of his head, before reaching past him and flicking off the bedside light. She settles under the covers at his side facing him before she speaks again. “You’re not touching me when you’re like this; when you clearly don’t want to.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he repeats in a whisper, turning on his side to face her, and tracing the lines of her face in the shadows of the room.</p><p>“Stop apologizing.” She keeps her voice quiet too, hushed whispers feeling fitting in the darkness of the room. “Make it up to me by telling me what’s going on.”</p><p>“I’m not sure I can,” he admits.</p><p>“Because you don’t know or because you think I’ll be mad?”</p><p>“Both, I guess.”</p><p>“Eliott,” she sighs, moving a hand to rub gently against his bicep. “We’re friends, yeah? I know this started as a physical thing, but we’re friends now, aren’t we?” He nods. “Ok, so forget about the sex part and talk to me as your friend.”</p><p>And the things is… he <em>does</em> want to talk about it. With Idriss it will be more complicated: he works at the hospital, he’s friends with Lucas, and while he might be Eliott’s best friend first, that history also means he’s unlikely to simply shut up and listen. Not the way Anna is currently willing to.</p><p>“There’s… someone.” He would laugh at the way words desert him entirely the moment he allows Lucas to enter his conscious thoughts, but instead the only pervasive emotion he feels is fear. Fear of admitting to someone that he just might have feelings he wants to speak out loud. Feelings far different than anything he’s experienced before.</p><p>“Someone?” Anna prods, voice gently and inquisitive. “Someone you’re interested in? Like in a serious way?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he whispers, sounding truly miserable. “It’s so complicated. And confusing. And I don’t really know if he likes me at all.”</p><p>“He?” Her hand on his bicep suddenly squeezes. “Wait! The guy at the hospital? The one who stormed off?”</p><p>“Lucas,” he confirms with a slight nod and he burrows the side of his face further into the pillow.</p><p>“Hunh.” She’s silent for another moment before she speaks. “Well, that makes a lot more sense.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” He sees her shrug.</p><p>“I thought I was getting a jealousy vibe off him. And I’m guessing he knows we’re sleeping together?”</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott confirms, shame sitting thick and heavy in the word.</p><p>She exhales heavily. “Shit. A heads up on that would have been nice.”</p><p>“No, you don’t understand.” He turns his head slightly so his voice will be less muffled by the pillow. “He’s seeing someone else. They – they slept together. Last night.”</p><p>She’s silent for a moment. “He’s actually with this guy? Or he’s just banging him?”</p><p>“What does it matter?” Eliott grumps, feeling irrationally sullen all of the sudden.</p><p>“What does it matter?” She repeats incredulous. “Says the guy who just had his dick <em>inside me</em> less than two minutes ago?”</p><p>“What’s your point?”</p><p>“My point,” she begins with poorly veiled laughter in her voice, “is that you’re being a bit ridiculous. You’re not with Lucas, right?” He nods reluctantly. “But you want to be?” He shrugs. “So, in the meantime, he’s allowed to fuck whoever he wants. And you don’t get to complain about it.”</p><p>“I’m not complaining,” he pouts. “I know he didn’t do anything wrong. I was just saying…”</p><p>She laughs softly, moving a hand to quickly ruffle his hair before dropping it back to his bicep and squeezing in comfort. “You’re not used to being jealous, are you?”</p><p>“I…” He stops on the verge of contradicting her to actually consider the question. There have been plenty of people he’s dated. He was with Lucille for years. And there was Adam in uni, who he’d had an intense on-and-off again relationship with for over a year. But jealousy? The only instance that comes to mind is as a teen, when Idriss had gotten his first serious girlfriend. And Eliott, confused and lost over his crush on his best friend, had felt physically sick every time he’d had to see them together. But even then… it wasn’t like this. “I’m not sure,” he settles on.</p><p>“Hmmm,” she hums as she contemplates. “Have you guys slept together?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott blurts before stumbling through a clarification. “Or… there was something. At a party. But we haven’t… no.”</p><p>“But you feel like you’re cheating on him.” She states it as a fact more than a question. “When you’re with me.”</p><p>He exhales and turns to half press his mouth against the pillow, as though partially blocking the words will somehow make them less true. “Yes.” He directs his eyes towards Anna but it’s hard to make out her exact expression in the dark. “It’s stupid.”</p><p>“It’s not stupid.” She removes her hand from his bicep, resting it on the mattress between them instead. “It is a bit unfair though. To me and to him.”</p><p>“I’m not with him though. I’m not even kind of with him.”</p><p>“Yeah,” she agrees, “but I’m not a replacement for him until you are.”</p><p>“I didn’t –”</p><p>“Listen,” she continues. “We might not be a true love story, but I like you, Eliott. And I respect you. No matter how screwed up things were with my ex, you were never a replacement for him. And I’m not going to be a stand-in for someone else.”</p><p>Eliott swallows heavily, his voice thick with regret. “I know. I promise – I – I wasn’t thinking of you that way. I really wasn’t. I care about you. But I’m sorry.”</p><p>“Well,” she sighs, “I told you to stop apologizing but I’ll take that one.” She moves her hand to tap a finger against his forearm. “So, what are you going to do? About him?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” he whispers agonized. “Every time I get around him it’s like everything I know – everything I thought I knew – it’s just… it doesn’t mean anything. And I can’t think. And I just keep screwing up. Over and over again. I can see myself do it – it’s like I’m <em>watching </em>myself do it, but I can’t stop.” He huffs, rolling onto his back and staring up at the ceiling.</p><p>“Tell me about him.”</p><p>“What?” He asks, surprised, tilting his head back towards her.</p><p>“Tell me about him,” she repeats. “What’s he like? When he’s not throwing death glares my way.”</p><p>“That <em>is </em>what he’s like,” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“Right. And that’s why you’re up his ass. Because he’s an asshole.” Her voice is ripe with mocking.</p><p>“I’m not up his ass.”</p><p>“Not for lack of trying I’m sure.”</p><p>“Ok, I’m not so sure I like you knowing about this anymore.” He attempts a glare though the darkness of the room likely diminishes its effectiveness.</p><p>“Well, get used to it, buddy. This is what I get to make up for the lack of orgasms.”</p><p>He exhales a slight laugh. “He <em>is</em> an asshole though.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” She says no more, likely knowing she doesn’t need to do much to prompt him into talking about Lucas.</p><p>“He’s got this huge ego. He thinks he’s the best and wants everyone to know it – especially me.” She hums a little in acknowledgement as he continues, “And the worst part is that he <em>is </em>good. He’s so smart. And he thinks so quickly on his feet. I used to think he did it without compassion – like he was good because he was heartless – the opposite of how I wanted to be.”</p><p>“And now?” Anna asks gently.</p><p>“I guess more and more I’ve realized how badly we misjudged one another.” Admitting it is somehow freeing, like a weight’s been lifted off Eliott’s chest and his breath comes easier. “He makes me think about things in new ways – ways I haven’t before. Sometimes it’s so frustrating. And it’s not that he’s always right – despite what he thinks – but he… he just…”</p><p>“He challenges you,” Anna finishes for him.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott breathes, realizing it’s exactly that. “And just when I think I know him, he surprises me. He’s … he’s so surprising.” It sounds so terribly ineloquent for what he means, almost childish in the way he whispers it in the dark as though confessing a secret crush in primary school.</p><p>“In a good way?”</p><p>“And bad,” he laughs quietly. “I like it though. He’s the most frustrating person I’ve ever met, but I like it. That sounds idiotic, doesn’t it?”</p><p>“No.” There’s a smile in her voice. “So, what will you do?”</p><p>He groans, pressing a hand to rub across his face. “I don’t know.”</p><p>“Well,” she reaches to pat him on the chest as she sits up in bed, “don’t stay up all night agonizing about it. Get some rest.”</p><p>“You’re leaving?” Fear clogs up the back of his throat and he finds himself sitting up in bed too, watching as she turns on her cell phone light to gather her clothes.</p><p>She hums. “I miss my bed.”</p><p>“Anna, are we –” His voice breaks, and he clears his throat, trying again, “Have I messed this up?”</p><p> She moves back to the bed, leaning down to kiss Eliott on the cheek. She smiles. “Messed this up as in we’re never having sex with one another again? Yes. Messed this up as in we can’t be friends? No.”</p><p>He exhales with relief. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Of course.” She pats his cheek, though it more closely resembles a slap. “I’ll miss that dick of yours, but you do have some other enjoyable qualities.”</p><p>He laughs, “Ok.”</p><p>Anna pauses again as she opens the door out into the hallway, turning to look back at him. “And Eliott?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“With Lucas?” She smiles. “Trust your gut.”</p><p>Eliott collapses back onto the bed as she softly shuts his bedroom door behind her. Right. His gut. That traitor.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Idriss jogs up beside him just as Eliott’s making his way from the change room at the beginning of shift Monday morning. He announces himself by immediately putting Eliott in a headlock and administering a noogie of entirely inappropriate ‘we are in a work environment’ proportions. Eliott only escapes by way of a hard punch to Idriss’s side.</p><p>“Stop!” Eliott complains, roughly shoving Idriss and immediately batting at his hair. <em>Goddammit</em>. He’s spent time on his hair this morning. He glances around for a reflective surface, finally settling on the slightly mirrored plaque on the wall. Satisfied his hair is the same carefully tousled mess it has been, he turns around to glare at Idriss.</p><p>Idriss is watching him with head tilted to the side, armed crossed against his chest and amused look on his face. “Who you trying to look good for?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott scoffs, taken aback. “I’m not. I’m just trying to look professional.” He immediately turns to continue down the hall.</p><p>Idriss matches his stride, shoving gently into his shoulder. “Sure. That’s why you’re rocking this…” He reaches to prod at Eliott’s jaw, “McDreamy stubble thing? To look <em>professional</em>?”</p><p>Eliott knocks his assaulting hand away. “I didn’t have time to shave this morning.”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Idriss scoffs. “Time to do your hair but not shave.”</p><p>“Maybe the fact that I did my hair meant I didn’t have time to shave.” Eliott doesn’t know why he’s even engaging in this sparring match – he’s set up to lose and he knows it.</p><p>“Nawwww,” Idriss drawls, sounding like he’s enjoying this conversation far too much. “That is a carefully groomed stubble if I ever saw it. Awwww, Eli,” he intones, poking at Eliott’s side until he’s slapped away again, “don’t worry. It’s a hot look.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Did you just admit I look hot?”</p><p>Idriss shrugs, moving behind the nurse’s desk as they arrive at the station. “You can’t compete with this,” he gestures to his own face, “but you do ok.” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“Good morning!” Daphne chirps as she rounds the corner and approaches.</p><p>“Goldilocks,” Idriss greets as he shuffles through the notes left on the desk.</p><p>“Muscles,” she says in return before turning to Eliott, her face painted bright with her smile. “Hi Eliott.”</p><p>“Morning, Daphne.”</p><p>“So,” Daphne’s eyes twinkle and she wiggles one eyebrow, “did Idriss tell you who he has a date with tonight?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks surprised at the exact same moment Idriss exclaims the same.</p><p>“How do you know about that?” Idriss complains.</p><p>Daphne rolls her eyes. “The group chat of course.”</p><p>“Group chat?” Idriss’s face droops in horror and Eliott does his best to muffle his laugh.</p><p>“Yes,” Daphne replies as though talking to a child she’s had to explain a situation to more than twice before. “Imane, Emma, me, and Manon.” She says the last name with relish as she grins at him.</p><p>“But…” Idriss has pressed a hand to his face, drilling fingers into his eyes for a moment before he looks back to Daphne. “How are you even friends?”</p><p>“Your party. Duh.” Having had enough of what she clearly deems boring questions, she turns back to Eliott. “It’s their first official date!” She squeals a little, as though she were talking about her own life.</p><p>“Ok, ok,” Idriss interjects. “I’m right here. Stop announcing my business for me.”</p><p>“Why is she?” Eliott asks, feeling a little hurt now that he thinks about it. “Why didn’t you?”</p><p>Idriss cocks an eyebrow. “I would have if you hadn’t been ignoring my texts all weekend.”</p><p>“Oh.”</p><p>“Yeah, <em>‘Oh’.</em>” Idriss’s eyes suddenly widen and he rounds on Daphne. “Hold up! You’re in a group chat with Manon.”</p><p>Daphne wrinkles her face, effectively communicating, ‘Are you an idiot?’ with a single expression better than Eliott could ever hope to. “Obvy.”</p><p>“So…” Idriss suddenly looks remarkably more nervous than he had seconds prior. “She talked about me?”</p><p>Daphne exchanges a quick, amused look with Eliott before answering. “Relax.” She pats him patronizingly on the shoulder. “She’s excited. She can’t wait to see what you’ve planned.”</p><p>This doesn’t calm Idriss at all. In fact, he seems to openly falter at the news.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott reaches forward to grip Idriss’s arm, “you good?”</p><p>“I…” He slumps down into one of the desk chairs, leaning forward with elbows on his knees to press his head to his hands. “I was going to take her to Marrakech.” He glances up at Eliott, looking as though he’s seriously contemplating vomiting. “You know that little place Sof always takes us to?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott nods, not feeling that this information has clarified anything for him. “That place is great. They have the best food.”</p><p>“That’s what I thought, but…” He slumps back into the chair, hands flopping to his lap. “It’s so…” He trails off, staring at Eliott imploringly.</p><p>“It’s a family-run place, Idri,” Eliott says, knowing now exactly where Idriss’s concerns lay. “That’s the point. It’s charming. I’m sure she’ll like it.”</p><p>“Will she?” Idriss directs the question at Daphne.</p><p>Daphne, looking a bit like a startled bird, rallies admirably. “Of course,” she scoffs as though the thought of Manon not being pleased by this idea would be ridiculous. “From what I know, she’s used to boring, rich dudes who take her to stuffy places. Believe me, you’re exactly what she needs.” Eliott cringes slightly at that.</p><p>“Because I’m not rich?” Idriss asks, sounding more resigned than offended.</p><p>“Because you’re not them,” Daphne insists. “There’s a reason she’s not with those guys, Idriss. That’s not what she wants. She saw something in you, ok? Stop questioning it.”</p><p>Eliott stares at Daphne with something akin to awe. It’s matched by the look on Idriss’s face.</p><p>“Shit,” Idriss exhales with a slight laugh. “I think I needed to hear that. Thanks, goldilocks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome.” She grins, swinging her arms side to side and clearly beyond pleased with herself. “So, can we move on from you being dramatic now? It’s like we switched personalities and I don’t like it.”</p><p>Idriss laughs. “Yeah, we can. Let’s go back to talking about why Eliott’s rocking stubble and who he’s trying to look hot for.” Daphne gasps, clapping her hands together as she turns to Eliott, quite literally bouncing with excitement.</p><p>“We were <em>not</em> talking about that,” Eliott groans. “Let’s talk more about Manon.”</p><p>“No, no, no!” Daphne pouts. “I want the scoop!”</p><p>“Chill,” Idriss chuckles. “Told you it was a good look.”</p><p>“A hot look,” Daphne agrees eagerly as Idriss points to her as if to say, <em>I told you so</em>.</p><p>
  <em>“What’s a hot look?” </em>
</p><p>Eliott turns to see Yann approaching. He’s not alone of course. Lucas follows, eyes locked on his phone as he walks, though Eliott has no doubt he is hearing every word. It’s as though the air is suddenly magnetized. There’s a clear, obvious pull, centered from Eliott’s chest, that has him very nearly taking a step forward – the need to get closer to Lucas almost impossible to suppress.</p><p>“Eliott,” Daphne answers. “Doesn’t he look extra hot?”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes stay glued to Lucas, desperate to see if the other boy will acknowledge the question. His eyes don’t move from his phone. Instead it’s Yann laughing and answering.</p><p>“We talking in general or…? Because I feel like Bas would be a better resource here.”</p><p>“That’s probably true,” Daphne admits with a laugh, looking to Eliott. “Most of the time I can’t tell whether he wants to <em>be </em>you or <em>do </em>you.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, shuffling a little awkwardly on his feet. “Well, he’s nice.”</p><p>“Ya, that’s a word for it,” Yann snorts. “Anyways, you should be asking Lulu. He’s our resident, ‘Is that dude hot?’ expert.” Eliott’s heart skips a beat as he watches Yann swing an arm around Lucas’s shoulders.</p><p>“Fuck off,” Lucas scoffs, sliding his phone into his pocket as he shoves Yann off him. “Admitting a guy is hot doesn’t make you gay, you know?”</p><p>“Ya, I know,” Yann responds, looking amused. “But according to you, my taste is terrible. You said the last guy I pointed out was – and I quote – a toad who should date only other toads in little toad land.”</p><p>A laugh bursts from Eliott, and he’s rewarded by Lucas’s eyes meeting his own, slight curl to his lips before his eyes drop back to the floor.</p><p>“Well, that’s not very nice,” Daphne chastises.</p><p>“Relax, Daphy,” Lucas huffs, looking up and towards her. “It’s not like he heard what I said. And,” he looks at Yann, “you do have terrible taste. That guy looked like an extra from Mad Max.”</p><p>Eliott finds himself laughing again, genuinely delighted by Lucas and without the usual wall that allows him to somewhat mask that admiration. Lucas glances back up at him and this time holds his eye. The feeling that accompanies the contact is less like sinking in quicksand this time, but the feeling of surrendering all control – making a choice, taking that step to do so – is still there. But it’s more like sinking into water on a hot summer day, endless blue, and that crisp, refreshing feeling of relief.</p><p>“Daph, what’s this?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes pull away, to where Idriss and Daphne stand with bent heads discussing notes on a patient’s file. Yann’s hand lands on Lucas’s shoulder.</p><p>“I’m gonna go check on those lab results. Lunch?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Maybe. I’m gonna work on Noah’s case though.”</p><p>“End of shift then.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes on Yann’s back as he leaves. Then it’s just Eliott and Lucas standing across from one another. If Eliott is honest, he’s expecting Lucas to offer an excuse – if even that – and escape quickly out of sight. Instead, he’s turning back to Eliott, eyes resting somewhere on Eliott’s chest before they slowly pull up to meet Eliott’s gaze. There’s something timid and uncertain swimming in the depths of his eyes, emotions left bare and present, and as though the veil – ever present – has grown more transparent.</p><p>“Did you have a good weekend?”</p><p>Surprise has Eliott’s eyebrows jumping to his forehead and his mouth dropping open. “Yeah,” he rushes to answer, all too aware of how fragile the conversational branch Lucas is extending likely is. “It was good.”</p><p>Lucas bites his lower lip, eyes dropping back to the floor. He’s pulling at the sleeves of his lap coat, extending it slightly down over his hands in what seems to be a nervous habit.</p><p>“Did you have a good weekend?” Eliott asks, mind apparently blank of any conversational topics more clever than simply repeating Lucas’s question back to him.</p><p>Lucas shrugs, and looks up with a slight smile, but there’s something a little off about it. “Less interesting than yours.” Eliott’s eyebrows pull together as he attempts to decipher the hidden message behind the words. Lucas quirks an eyebrow. “Surprised your stamina held up that long.”</p><p><em>Stamina? </em>Oh fuck. Oh goddammit. Eliott is the biggest moron on the planet. Lucas means Anna. He’s asking about Anna. And Eliott just gave him the impression he’d spent the weekend with her. “No!” He blurts the word on impulse, before he considers exactly what he’s just responded to.</p><p>“No?” Lucas’s smile is a little more genuine now, as though Eliott behaving like a complete idiot has drawn a more sincere happiness from him. Par for the course as far as their relationship goes, Eliott supposes. “Did you just admit to having no stamina?”</p><p>“No!” Eliott will berate himself later for his total ineloquence. For now, it’s more important he sets the record straight (… or not) than concern himself with articulacy. “I mean, my stamina is fine.” One of Lucas’s eyebrows rises to even more extreme heights. “I meant no; my weekend wasn’t that interesting.”</p><p>“Ok…” Lucas doesn’t look entirely sure where Eliott is going with this. In truth, Eliott isn’t entirely certain either.</p><p>“It was just me and Lucy mostly. Alex was with Emma so, ya… just a boring weekend at home. Just with Lucille. No one else.” Alright… perhaps that was anything but subtle. The point is pertinent information was included.</p><p>“Lucille’s one of your roommates, right?”</p><p>Eliott nods eagerly, the shock of having Lucas engage him in a conversation where he’s inquiring for more information about Eliott’s life, having a physiological effect. Eliott’s heart is positively racing, and heat is radiating out from his chest, extending down his limbs and leaving him with entirely unattractive, sweaty palms. He wipes them discreetly against his lab coat.</p><p>“Yeah, her and Alex.” Which Lucas fucking knows, Eliott. Get it together. Jesus Christ. “It’s sort of funny that Lucille and I live together now when neither of us wanted to live together when we dated.” Why did he say that? Why in the name of all that is pansexual and maybe a little desperate, did he just offer up that information?! A bead of sweat rolls down his back.</p><p>“You’re living with your ex?” There’s distrust in Lucas’s tone but curiosity too. Eliott latches to the latter.</p><p>“We were always better as friends. It wasn’t that way when we first broke up, but eventually. It was so long ago too. We were just teens. And then we reconnected in uni and she wanted to get away from her parents and I had the worst roommates and…” He’s offering way too much information. Context Lucas in no way asked for. And yet there’s a smile on Lucas’s face, slight but gentle and <em>real</em>. Eliott continues, “Anyways, I met Alex in med school and that’s when we all got a bigger place. It works though.”</p><p>“Yeah? No, uh, occasional ‘I’m horny and so are you so…’”</p><p>“Ugh,” Eliott curls his lip in disgust and he’s rewarded by a faint laugh from Lucas. “No. No. We’re more like siblings now. She’s like a sister to me.”</p><p>“I hate to tell you this, but siblings don’t have a sexual history. Well… outside of Game of Thrones.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “Ok. Very, <em>very </em>platonic friends.” Lucas nods, gaze once more dropping as he seems to contemplate this. “What about you?” This catches Lucas attention. “You and Yann never…”</p><p>Lucas laughs, loud and abrupt before he catches himself, clearing his throat as he glances around them furtively. “No. Yann is unfortunately straight as an arrow.”</p><p>“And Emma?”</p><p>Lucas’s face scrunches with incredulity. “I’m gay.”</p><p>Eliott resists a laugh, entirely charmed by the absolutely adorable expression of disgust on Lucas’s face. “That doesn’t mean you’ve never been with a woman.”</p><p>“Well, I haven’t,” he says definitively. “Knew for sure by sixteen and never went back. Most I ever did with a girl was makeout. And I’ve worked pretty hard to repress those memories.”</p><p>“What made you realize?” Eliott asks, inexorably caught on the thought of a sixteen-year-old Lucas. “Saw Ryan Gosling in the Notebook and nothing was ever the same again?”</p><p>Lucas exhales a quick breath like a laugh. “No. Just a crush on a guy at school. Even.”</p><p>“Even?” Eliott repeats and would like to say that feeling spiking his veins isn’t jealousy but he knows better. Jealous of the faceless object of Lucas’s teenage crush. He’s pathetic. “So… first boyfriend?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head. “No.” He smiles a little wistfully. “He was in love with a classmate of mine actually. Isak.” He says the name with an impressive amount of venom and Eliott laughs.</p><p>“No love lost between you two then?”</p><p>“We were…” He searches for the right words. “What’s that thing Daphne calls the nurses in peds?”</p><p>“Frenemies.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas nods, pleased. “Frenemies. I have him on Instagram. He and Even are still together.”</p><p>“Wow.” Eliott finds he’s suitably impressed by that. “Soulmates then.” Lucas shrugs. “You don’t think so?”</p><p>“No, I do,” Lucas assures. “If anyone was soulmates, it was those two. I just think it’s intentional too. People say soulmates like it’s easy – like it’s not a choice. Like it just happens. I just think you need to work for it.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, shoving a hand into his pocket to resist the sudden, overwhelming urge to <em>touch</em>. “Have you ever seen The Good Place?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows pull together and he shakes his head. “No. What does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>“There’s just a line in it,” Eliott explains. “That soulmates aren’t found, they’re made. That it’s about building that relationship together, not waiting for it to happen.” Lucas nods, looking satisfied with this contribution. “You’d like it,” Eliott adds. “We should watch it some time.” He doesn’t consider the gravity of what he’s just said until the words are out there, naked and bare, laid before them. Lucas’s eyes widen in surprise and Eliott thinks about taking it back, but… he doesn’t want to.</p><p><em>“Both my kittens!” </em>Eliott turns in time with Lucas to see Mika approaching. “I was beginning to think perhaps you’d forgotten me,” he continues. “Either that or some unforeseeable tragedy had befallen the both of you simultaneously, thereby preventing you from checking in with your resident, aka. the only thing standing between you and a surgery-less life of shame after being cast adrift for your total inability to adhere to basic standards of employment such as showing up on time.” Eliott stands utterly speechless. Lucas on the other hand is in no such quandary.</p><p>“We <em>were</em> here on time, Mika,” he scoffs. “We just got a little distracted.” Eliott glances at the clock to the side of the nurses station to see they are in fact about ten minutes late to check-in with Mika. Eliott has <em>never</em> been late. “And I covered for you last week by working late when that guy showed up you wanted to –”</p><p>“Alright, alright, alright,” Mika interrupts, looking ruffled and perhaps a little put in his place. “No need to keep score!”</p><p>“I’m sorry, Mika.” Eliott offers. “It was my fault.”</p><p>“It was not. Stop playing martyr,” Lucas says from his side. Eliott’s eyes cut to him, but even in profile, he can see a slight smile on Lucas’s face. The sight settles in Eliott’s stomach like warm honey.  </p><p>“Ok…” Mika drags out the word as his eyes flick between them. “I don’t know whether I miss your hateful brand of foreplay, or I’m glad for the reprieve.”</p><p>“Mika,” Lucas groans, obviously irritated now.</p><p>“But I’m going,” Mika continues. “Pre-rounds. Then check back with me and we’ll see if I’ve reconsidered putting you,” he points at Eliott, “on lab duty. And you,” he cocks an eyebrow at Lucas, “on rectal exams.” And with that he’s off without a backwards glance, flouncing down the hallway with a confidence Eliott could only hope to achieve in his lifetime.</p><p>When Eliott turns back, Lucas’s eyes are already on him.</p><p>Eliott smiles a little. “I guess we should…”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, eyes dropping as he scuffs the toe of his shoe against the linoleum. When he looks back up, determination paints his face. “Do you want to meet at lunch?”</p><p>Eliott feels his mouth dropping open. “What?”</p><p>“For the research project,” Lucas explains quickly, a flicker of uncertainty rests in his eyes. “For Noah. If you still want to work together…” Eliott doesn’t remember them ever actually agreeing to work together in the first place, but he doesn’t pause in reply.</p><p>“Yeah. Yes. That – that would be great.” He nods, biting the inside of his cheek and praying he didn’t come across as too eager.</p><p>“Okay.” Lucas smiles, sweet and soft. There’s a subtle flush to his cheeks now, and Eliott is fairly certain he’s never seen anything more beautiful. It’s as exciting a thought as it is terrifying.</p><p>“Okay,” he repeats stupidly.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes linger just a moment longer, and the only rational thought sounding in Eliott’s head, is that he was wrong, not even the most verbose of romance novelists could capture the astounding quality of Lucas’s eyes.</p><p>“Okay.” And then Lucas is turning and striding away.</p><p>Lunch. They’re having lunch together. It’s a date.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>By the time lunch rolls around, Eliott has worked himself into an absolute frenzy of anxiety-ridden thoughts. It’s not an unfamiliar predicament. Anxiety unfortunately is all too familiar in Eliott’s life. Knowing that, and behaving in any way more rationally, however, are two very different things.</p><p>He checks his hair on every available reflective surface as he makes his way to the cafeteria. At one point he’s convinced he has food in his teeth despite not having eaten anything since breakfast, and makes a pit stop into the washroom where he spends five minutes obsessing over whether his strategically unkempt hair and stubble really is a ‘hot look’, or whether it just makes him look like he doesn’t know how to take care of himself. That’s the last thing Eliott wants. Even when Lucas is looking his most disheveled, with wild hair and bleary eyes from lack of sleep, he somehow manages to look put together, because even in the most disorderly of states, Lucas always has a confidence about him. And while Eliott likes to think he’s the same, in his own case it feels far more artificial.</p><p>The cafeteria is crowded when Eliott enters, but it doesn’t take long to locate Lucas. Eliott’s eyes are immediately drawn to his figure, sitting on the far end by the window. It’s an odd but familiar feeling – that <em>awareness</em>. Sunlight streaks in from the window. Broken by the windowpane, it casts a mosaic of broken light and shadow across his face. He’s quite literally a work of art. But he’s not alone. Imane sits across from him. Disappointment hits Eliott, immediately followed by guilt for seeing Imane’s presence as anything but a positive addition to their lunch. It’s just that… Eliott had thought it would just be them. Him and Lucas.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes catch Lucas’s as he walks towards them. Lucas looks back to Imane, motioning for her to move seats. They share quick, indistinguishable words as Eliott approaches, until Imane slides over to the neighbouring seat, leaving the one across from Lucas unoccupied and clearly meant for Eliott. Warmth fills Eliott at the sight. He drops into the seat, resting his food and notes on the table, keeping his eyes on Lucas.</p><p>“Hi,” Eliott greets warmly.</p><p>“Hey.” Lucas pulls his lips into his mouth, but it does little to hide his smile. The sight is accompanied by a feeling Eliott can only compare to that rush of endorphins after a challenging workout.</p><p>Imane clears her throat and Eliott jumps slightly, tearing his eyes away from Lucas to remedy his rudeness. “Imane, hi.” Her eyes are on notes set in front of her, but Eliott gets the impression they hadn’t been just a few seconds prior. She hums a little in acknowledgement, clear smile on her face, but doesn’t look up.</p><p>“So, I think I might have figured it out,” comes Lucas’s voice.</p><p>Eliott turns back to him, eyebrows shooting up in surprise as Lucas pushes a journal article towards him.</p><p>“Figured what out?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes but looks somehow charmed. “Noah’s case? The reason we’re here.”</p><p>“Oh,” Eliott nods and does his best to concentrate on the subject at hand and not the way that one hair always seems determined to fall down on Lucas’s forehead, “right. Wait,” he looks down at the journal article, “you did?”</p><p>Lucas laughs lightly. It might be the first time, Eliott’s unintentional idiocy is being received by Lucas with amusement rather than derision. He nods. “See for yourself. It’s a similar case from the US.”</p><p>Eliott quickly skims the article. “This kid was super young.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know,” Lucas agrees, leaning forward across the table to point to a section near the end of the article, “but look at the details. It’s nearly identical. The machine used – this EXCOR – it wasn’t just used to assist the heart – it replaced it until transplant. And if it worked on a child so young – Noah will stand an even better chance. It’ll work.”</p><p>“Shit,” Eliott breathes, thoroughly impressed. “There’s no way this was considered. This is incredible. So… this… EXCOR, it won’t be helping the heart. It will <em>be </em>the heart.”</p><p>“Exactly. He’ll be like the bionic kid,” Lucas says, looking delighted. “How cool is that? He can tell all his friends he’s like the Terminator or something.”</p><p>Eliott laughs softly. “A cyborg assassin sent back in time?”</p><p>“Ok, maybe not exactly like that,” Lucas concedes with a huff and smile.</p><p>“Bet you think that’s a brilliant movie too.”</p><p>“It <em>is </em>a brilliant movie.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed. He points back to the article in his hands. “How did you even find this?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, looking bashful. “Just luck.”</p><p>Imane snorts from Eliott’s side. “<em>Luck</em>. Count on you to be modest when you actually have reason to take credit. You barely slept all weekend.”</p><p>“That’s an exaggeration,” Lucas scoffs, looking oddly embarrassed. “And I don’t want credit.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott looks to him in disbelief. “Lucas, you found the answer. No one did that but you. You deserve the surgery.”</p><p>“No.” Lucas’s voice is cold and hard, and it stops Eliott in his tracks. “I’m not doing it. You can take this to him.” Eliott’s mouth opens and closes but no words present themselves.</p><p>“Lucas,” Imane speaks instead, “what’s the deal with you and Moreau?” Eliott’s breath cuts short as she continues, “Like I know people say he’s an egotistical jerk, but – sorry to be the bearer of bad news – all of you slice and dicers are. Why the bug up your butt about Moreau specifically?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop to the table and he shifts in his seat uncomfortably. “He’s just…” He trails off, silence resting awkward in the air.</p><p>“He’s worse than the rest,” Eliott finishes for him, catching Lucas’s eye briefly before he turns to address Imane. “Maybe ego is a problem for some surgeons,” Imane snorts at that but Eliott perseveres, “but it’s more than that with Moreau. He abuses his power.” Eliott finds his gaze drifting back to Lucas and catching there. It’s the reason he’d been so angry that first night – the thought of power being wielded in inappropriate ways in the hospital. But he’d pointed that anger in the wrong direction. “He’s always the one in control, and he wields that privilege like a weapon. It’s not right.”</p><p>“Those are serious claims.” Imane’s voice pulls Eliott’s attention back. “If you have real cause for concern, you should go to your resident with this. There are channels you can follow –”</p><p>“No,” Lucas interrupts. “No. Just leave it. He’s an asshole. I’ll deal with it, but I don’t have to go out of my way to work with him. That’s all.” He reaches to push the journal even closer to Eliott. “You’ll take this to him and claim the surgery.” His face is pinched with determination and Eliott is pretty sure his intent is to be intimidating. There was a time, not too long ago, when Eliott would have thought of it as such. But now… now, it’s just… cute. So freaking cute, Eliott has to bite his lip to suppress a laugh.</p><p>“I will, will I?”</p><p>Lucas looks startled by the change of tone and sits back slightly in his seat. His lower lip juts out slightly in semblance of a pout. Eliott wants to bite it. “Yes.”</p><p>“Because you think you can order me around?”</p><p>Lucas’s lips twitch slightly in the corners. “Yes.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes trace the curve of Lucas’s lips before they find his eyes once more. “What makes you so sure?”</p><p>There’s a definite smirk on Lucas’s face now. He reaches for his sleeves, pushing them up to his elbows and revealing a tantalizing view of his tattoo. Eliott realizes somewhat hysterically, as his heart rate skyrockets and his eyes drop to Lucas’s forearm, lines of muscle matched by the curves of colour and form, that he understands how it must have felt in the eighteenth century when a woman revealed a glimpse of ankle, a move so subtle and yet deliberately provocative, one could understand why fainting spells and phrases like “Good heavenly days!” were a thing.</p><p>Imane bangs her clipboard to the table as she stands, making Lucas and Eliott startle. They turn to her in time.</p><p>“I’m going to go grab some food.” The look on her face says far more and Eliott suddenly has a vision of Idriss berating him after hearing Imane’s version of events. He makes a note to talk to Idriss <em>soon </em>about… this. Whatever this is.</p><p>“<em>Ooohhh</em>, get me a chocolate bar?” Lucas begs, blinking up at Imane with wide eyes. Eliott can’t blame Imane even a little bit for the way she sighs but immediately gives in.</p><p>“What kind?”</p><p>“KitKat? No, Snickers. <em>Ohhh</em> or that one with the Oreo in it? Oh no, wait, the one –”</p><p>“Enough!” Imane cuts him off. “You’ll get what you get.” She doesn’t give Lucas time to disagree, immediately marching away from the table.</p><p>Eliott chuckles lightly as he watches her go, before he turns back to Lucas. “She’ll probably choose the thing she thinks you’ll like least.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs with a slight smile. “Chocolate is chocolate. I’m not hard to please.” Eliott nearly snorts. If only. He looks down to his own food, not yet touched, when Lucas speaks again. “Eliott, I wanted to…” Eliott glances back up as he trails off, surprised to see just how nervous he suddenly looks. Lucas lowers his voice slightly and leans forward. Eliott rests his arms on the table and does the same as Lucas continues, “I wanted to be clear that, um…” He swallows. “There’s nothing with Moreau. Like… me and Moreau. We’re not…”</p><p>“Ok.” It’s a pithy reply but the knowledge that Lucas wants to share this information – this assurance? – divests Eliott of reply beyond that singular word – that simple acceptance.</p><p>Lucas is watching him warily. “Ok?”</p><p>Eliott nods, offering a slight smile. “Ok.”</p><p>Lucas’s own smile is slower to grow, but it’s there, tenuous but <em>real</em>. A chocolate bar thumps to the table between them, and Imane’s retaking her seat next to Eliott. Lucas gasps happily, snatching it up.</p><p>“The Oreo one! Thanks, Imane!”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” She picks back up her paperwork and there’s a noticeable absence of food in front of her.</p><p>“I thought you were getting something to eat?” Eliott asks.</p><p>She glances up at him. “Decided I wasn’t hungry.”</p><p>Eliott grins at her. “So, you went just to make sure Lucas got his chocolate?”</p><p>She looks towards the chocolate-fiend in question and Eliott follows the direction of her gaze. Lucas isn’t paying any attention to their conversation. Deep into… Eliott cocks his head as he attempts to decipher exactly what Lucas is doing… he appears to be wrapping a fry around a piece of chocolate. Eliott curls his lip in disgust as he watches.</p><p>“Like you wouldn’t have done the same,” Imane comments under her breath from Eliott’s side. He doesn’t bother disagreeing, instead watching in horror as Lucas pops the fry-wrapped chocolate into his mouth with a happy hum.</p><p>“Is that really your lunch?” Eliott can’t help but ask.</p><p>Lucas looks up in surprise, eyes flicking between his plate and Eliott before he answers. “Yeah, what’s wrong with it?”</p><p>Eliott expels a breath of disbelief. “How is it you manage to have abs when you eat like that? There’s not a vegetable in sight.” He’s fairly sure Imane mumbles something under her breath but he’s too distracted by the sight of Lucas’s face flushing with colour as he laughs, to catch whatever it is she said.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Lucas grins, pointing down at his plate of fries. “Potatoes are a vegetable. You sure you’re a vegetarian?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “You’re hopeless.”</p><p>Lucas pops another fry into his mouth as he grins. “Don’t be jealous. No one’s forcing you to eat…” He squints, leaning forward to look down at Eliott’s salad. “Ugh. You can’t honestly be satisfied after a meal like that.”</p><p>“It’s a perfectly balanced meal,” Eliott argues. “All you’re eating is sugar and a plate of carbs. You’re going to want to curl up in a ball and sleep in about an hour.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small sound of amusement. “Least I’m not stealing food from the mouths of Fifi’s.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth drops open in surprise. “You remember her name?”</p><p>“‘Course,” Lucas huffs. “She’s the reason I have to witness this tragedy that is your lunches. A bunny with that kind of power is worth remembering.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, strangely touched that such a minute detail shared could have a lasting impression on Lucas. “Not a tragedy for all the future Fifi’s in my life.”</p><p>“Saving one Fifi at a time,” Lucas hums and begins wrapping another piece of chocolate in a fry.</p><p>“There is no way that tastes good.”</p><p>Lucas looks up and wiggles an eyebrow. “Won’t know unless you try.”</p><p>Eliott scrunches his nose in disgust. “No, thank you.”</p><p>“Ok.” Lucas looks at him pointedly. “Then stop judging me, shut up and eat your Fifi food.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles and picks up his fork to do as told, finding his eyes drifting from his salad back up to watch Lucas eat.</p><p>“Wow.” He hears Imane this time. Granted she’s leaned towards him and clearly intends for him to hear the whispered exclamation, a judgement if there ever was one.</p><p>He chooses to ignore her, spearing a bite of salad instead. Fifi food.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  <video></video>
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott’s conversation with Dr. Moreau is brief. Of course, he prefers it that way. But it’s also not his choice. Moreau barely listens as Eliott illustrates the research they’ve collected. He nods and takes the materials offered. It’s not until Eliott responds to Moreau’s, “And if this pans out, I suppose you’re expecting to scrub in?” with a firm, “No, thank you,” that Moreau’s eyes land on him with more focused attention.</p><p>“You don’t want to scrub in?” Moreau eyes him skeptically.</p><p>“No,” Eliott confirms, keeping his voice firm and definitive. “Select whoever you’d like out of the other interns, doctor.”</p><p>Moreau is clearly unimpressed but Eliott could not care less.</p><p>“You said ‘we’.”</p><p>“I’m sorry?” Eliott asks confused.</p><p>“You referred to working with someone else on this research. Who was it?”</p><p>Eliott freezes. He hadn’t noticed himself doing that. And he knows Lucas has no interest in taking credit for this research but Eliott is also not comfortable with lying. Besides which, should he name another intern, the lie would be exposed the moment Moreau asked said intern about the research.</p><p>He stalls instead. “Just another of the interns.”</p><p>Moreau steps closer, an unkind smile on his face. “What’s your name again?”</p><p>Eliott bites the inside of his cheek and does his best not to allow his irritation to show. “Dr. Demaury.”</p><p>“Demaury,” Moreau’s hair is graying at the sides of his head and Eliott can’t help but wonder exactly how many years separate him from Lucas, “why is it you’re opting out of this surgery, but refusing to give another credit? What exactly is your angle here?”</p><p><em>Not all of us have an angle, you prick, </em>is what he wishes he could say. “Lucas Lallemant,” is what comes out instead. Eliott’s always wondered if Moreau recognized him from that night in the bar – if he knew Eliott was the one who saw him and Lucas together. The unconcerned way Moreau nods, not even a hint of anxiety registering, is answer enough. He doesn’t know.</p><p>“Good. Lucas then.” He dismisses Eliott with an uninterested wave of his hand. “We’re done here, Demont.”</p><p>Eliott bites his tongue and leaves without another word.</p><p>Shit. <em>Shit, shit, shit.</em> He needs to find Lucas.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>It takes longer than Eliott would have liked to track Lucas down. He’s interrupted multiple times with time sensitive tasks. And Lucas proves to be oddly elusive. It’s on his third lap by the nurses station nearing the end of shift that Eliott spots him with Idriss.</p><p>“Ah, there he is,” Idriss says the moment he sees Eliott approaching. He nods towards Lucas. “Told Lucas you were looking for him.”</p><p>Lucas turns towards him, offering a sweet, shy smile. Eliott promptly trips. He couldn’t even say how. One second he’s walking like a normal human being. The next he’s tripping over seemingly nothing and stumbling forward, thankfully catching himself before crashing to the linoleum floor. When he looks back up, face no doubt cherry red with embarrassment, Idriss has turned away, doing a terrible job muffling his laugh into his shoulder. Lucas’s eyes are on him, however, bright and amused.</p><p>“You alright there?” He asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott stops in front of him, “I don’t know what that was.”</p><p>“Told you. Giraffe legs.” Lucas smirks and Eliott laughs.</p><p>“Do giraffes trip though? I’ve never heard of a giraffe tripping.”</p><p>Lucas purses his lips as he seems to consider this. “Well… they are a lot more graceful than you.”</p><p>“They are not!” Eliott pouts. “I’m plenty graceful.”</p><p>“Graceful as a bull in a hospital.”</p><p>“It’s bull in a china shop.”</p><p>“Horse in a hospital,” Idriss mumbles from beside them. They both ignore him.</p><p>“What’s with you and the animal metaphors anyways?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Never was convinced you were human.”</p><p>Eliott isn’t entirely sure how to interpret that comment. “Well, I’m a raccoon.”</p><p>Idriss groans, collapsing back into a chair and sliding further away from them.</p><p>“A raccoon?” It’s clear Lucas doesn’t know what to do with that information.</p><p>“My spirit animal,” Eliott declares proudly, ignoring the way Idriss has dropped his head to the surface of the desk with a resounding thump.</p><p>Lucas looks intrigued by this information. “Why a raccoon?”</p><p>“Raccoons are cool. They’re curious. Everyone thinks they’re a nuisance but they’re really smart. And they live in really tight-knit little groups – like they choose their little family and that’s all they need.” Eliott pauses, realizing he’s gotten a little carried away. He shrugs, adding with a slight grin. “Plus, they wear a mask. What’s cooler than that?”</p><p>Lucas exhales a quick laugh through his nose, nodding as he considers this. “Well, from what I remember that morning I ran into one at the garbage bin, they’re also sort of terrifying and hiss when they’re surprised. Not sure the comparison holds up there.”</p><p>Eliott considers this. “I can be scary.”</p><p>Lucas and Idriss laugh in time with one another. “Sure,” Lucas agrees, though it doesn’t feel like agreement at all, “just not in the way you think.”</p><p>“What does that mean?” Eliott asks, perplexed.</p><p>“Nothing.” Lucas shakes his head. “All the animals in the world and you chose raccoon.”</p><p>“Well, you’re a hedgehog.” Oh goddammit. Eliott hadn’t meant to reveal that. Idriss makes a slightly strangled noise from beside them and Eliott can only imagine the hell he’s going to get about this later.</p><p>“A hedgehog?!” Lucas looks as though he’s not sure whether to be offended by this or not. “Why a hedgehog?” And <em>that</em> is absolutely information Eliott cannot reveal.</p><p>“I don’t know. It just fits.”</p><p>Idriss suddenly swings back into the conversation, quite literally as he slides his chair to knock against the desk directly next to them. Eliott has every suspicion he’s done so in the interests of saving Eliott from himself. He’ll remember to thank him later.</p><p>“Is this really a conversation you two are having?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow as he turns to him. “What animal are you?”</p><p>Idriss opens his mouth, no doubt with the intention of disparaging the whole conversation but Eliott answers before he has the opportunity.</p><p>“A panther.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “A panther? Why?”</p><p>Idriss looks instantly offended. “What do you mean ‘why’?”</p><p>“He thinks they’re cool and wouldn’t let me pick anything else,” Eliott admits. Lucas laughs, a delighted, happy sound. Eliott tries to memorize the way Lucas’s eyes scrunch in the corners, and his teeth glint with a smile stretched too wide to be anything but genuinely joyful.</p><p>“Wow, that is classic.”</p><p>“Alright,” Idriss grumbles. “Isn’t there somewhere you two have to be? Somewhere other than here?”</p><p>“Awww, don’t be shy, Idri,” Lucas teases. “I have it on good authority that Manon loves cats.”</p><p>Eliott laughs as Idriss throws his head back with a groan. “Get out of here. Both of you.”</p><p>“Ok, ok. We’re going.” He motions to Lucas and they turn together to carry on down the hall.</p><p>“A sensitive fellow, our Idriss,” Lucas comments.</p><p>“Our Idriss?” Eliott turns to look at him, a little amused by that assessment.</p><p>Uncertainty flickers across Lucas’s face. “He’s my friend too.” Eliott can practically see the defensive veil falling and rushes to correct his blunder.</p><p>“No, I know. Not convinced either of us would claim him if it came to that though,” Eliott chuckles, shoulder relaxing when Lucas does the same.</p><p>“I don’t think we need to worry about that,” Lucas admits. “Pretty sure Manon would in our absence.”</p><p>“She really likes him?”</p><p>Lucas nods, offering a secretive smile. “I’ve never actually seen her nervous around a guy before. She’s not used to guys like Idriss.”</p><p>“Guys like Idriss?”</p><p>“He’s different than the guys she’s been with before.” His eyes drift as he contemplates his words. “I think she’s gotten used to dimming parts of herself, you know?” Eliott isn’t sure he does but he nods. “Like… Manon’s one of the most opinionated, strong-willed, and smartest people I know. But, shit, does she work with a lot of insecure guys. She’s used to dudes who are seriously threatened by her success… her ambition.”</p><p>“That’s fucked up,” Eliott breaks in, frowning. “They should be proud to date someone so strong and successful.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move back to him. He holds Eliott’s gaze for an extended moment with a considering look, before he looks away once more, clearing his throat as he continues, “Ya, well, Idriss isn’t like that. She said it’s like he’s <em>more</em> attracted to her because of it.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, proud to hear such an evaluation of his best friend. “I’m sure he is. Think about how he grew up. You haven’t met his mom but she’s a total badass. And then there’s Imane…” Lucas nods in acknowledgement. “I don’t think Idriss would know what to do around a woman who was any less than that. Well actually,” Eliott grins, glancing towards Lucas, “yes, I do. He’d sleep with her, never call her again, and end up getting slapped in the middle of the workday in the middle of a busy hospital hallway.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas laughs. “When the fuck did that happen?”</p><p>“A while back. Before we started here,” Eliott explains. “Perks of being the best friend. I get the stories.”</p><p>“Shit. I’m not allowed to tell Manon that am I?”</p><p>Eliott looks to him wide-eyed. “Oh god, please don’t. I think Idriss would actually murder me.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Yeah, fair.” He grins, a little mischievous. “Between us then – and Idriss. I’m definitely using this knowledge against him.”</p><p>“I would expect no less,” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“So, uh, speaking of between us…” Lucas fiddles with the sleeves of the long-sleeved shirt he wears under his scrubs, eyes dropping to the floor in front of him as they continue walking. “There was something you needed to talk to me about?”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott had entirely forgotten the purpose of seeking Lucas out. His gut churns as he remembers. “Yeah, um…” He rests a gentle hand on Lucas’s elbow pulling him slightly to the side of the hall, between a couple empty gurneys and out of the way of foot traffic. Lucas’s eyes are on him now, curious and maybe a little nervous. “So, uh, I talked to Moreau.”</p><p>“Oh. Ok.” Lucas looks oddly disappointed, and Eliott isn’t entirely sure how he’s already screwed this up but there’s more bad news to be given.</p><p>“Anyway, he sort of asked me who helped? With the research…”</p><p>“What? Why? Why didn’t you just say you did it?” There’s definitely growing anger on Lucas’s face now. Eliott’s stomach drops at the sight.</p><p>“I’m not sure,” he admits. “I just… I couldn’t. I said we worked on it and he wanted to know who ‘we’ was and…”</p><p>“Jesus fuck,” Lucas expels in an irritated breath. “And you said it was me?”</p><p>Eliott cringes. “I wasn’t really sure what else to do. I couldn’t say someone else – it would be pretty obvious they didn’t, if they had no clue what he was talking about the second he talked to them.”</p><p>“You could have fucking prepped someone on that, Eliott.” Lucas shakes his head incredulous. “You could have said anyone we’re friends with. Emma or Alex. Even fucking Lisa. We could have prepped them on the case.”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott hadn’t thought of that.</p><p>“Yeah, <em>oh</em>.” Lucas presses a hand to his forehead before he drops it with a frustrated breath. “Whatever. It’s not a big deal. You’re doing the surgery anyways.”</p><p>“No, I’m not,” Eliott scoffs.</p><p>Lucas freezes. “What do you mean you’re not?”</p><p>Eliott quails slightly at the fierce look on Lucas’s face but… he isn’t wrong here. He’s not backing down.</p><p>“I’m not going to work with Moreau.”</p><p>“Wha – but you –” Lucas trips over his words, shock seeming to have robbed his words of their previous anger. “You were just saying at lunch that I should go for it anyways – even though Moreau’s… you were saying!”</p><p>“I know.” Eliott shoves his hands in his pockets and scrunches his shoulders up to his ears in a nervous habit. “But I thought about it and… I’m not going to volunteer for a surgery with him. It wouldn’t be right.”</p><p>Lucas looks utterly speechless. “You’re a fucking idiot.” Ok… maybe not that speechless. He drops his voice to a fierce whisper, conscious of the nurses passing. “This is your fucking career, Eliott. An opportunity like that isn’t going to come around again. Not for years at least.”</p><p>“It’s your career too,” Eliott argues. “And I wasn’t the one to find that article anyways. I don’t even deserve the surgery.”</p><p>“Deserve it?” Lucas scoffs. “Jesus, you’re so naïve. People don’t get what they deserve here, Eliott. You get what you fight for – what you <em>cut </em>people for. You look out for yourself first.”</p><p>“You don’t do that,” Eliott denies. “You don’t. You gave me that surgery with Claudine. And you’re refusing this one because you know it’s not right. Working with him. You don’t cut people at all.”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, looking away from Eliott. “You don’t know what you’re talking about. You don’t even have the same reasons for not working with Moreau.”</p><p>“What are your reasons?” Eliott asks, suddenly desperate to know. “I don’t even know. I don’t even know why we’re doing this.”</p><p>“<em>We?</em>” Lucas’s eyebrows climb his forehead. “There’s no <em>we</em> in this.”</p><p>“I – I know,” Eliott stutters, a little shocked himself that he’d referred to the situation as such.</p><p>“This is my decision. You should be doing the fucking surgery.”</p><p>Eliott straightens his posture. “You’re not the only one making decisions here. I can choose not to do the surgery. That’s my choice.”</p><p>“A stupid fucking choice,” Lucas bites, tilting his face up as he moves into Eliott’s space.</p><p>“Well,” Eliott tilts his face down, refusing to back down in the face of Lucas’s anger, “learned from the <em>best</em> then, didn’t I?”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a moment more, and Eliott notes that both their breath is coming more quickly. Lucas’s nostrils flare with his own enraged exhalations, when suddenly he’s grabbing Eliott’s arm and dragging him by the bicep to the other side of the hall. Eliott trips slightly over his own feet as he follows. Lucas pulls him through a door Eliott doesn’t recognize, releasing him once they enter the room, and turning to lock the door behind them. Eliott takes in his surroundings. He’s in one of the on-call rooms. He’s never used this one. Shock shudders through his body in one electric wave as he realizes… Lucas pulled him into an on-call room?</p><p>Eliott turns to see Lucas, panting with his back up against the door, staring at Eliott with wide startled eyes, as though he too is shocked by their current circumstances. Eliott doesn’t think. He moves. Two strides and he’s pressing Lucas back against the door and connecting their lips. It’s a kiss that’s perhaps a little too desperate, a little too hard, a little too much, but it’s matched by Lucas. Eliott cups Lucas’s face as Lucas presses forward, hands moving to weave into Eliott’s hair and pull him down – pull him closer. His mouth opens and Eliott takes advantage, licking across Lucas’s lip before pressing in, searing, wet heat as their tongues connect. Eliott groans, bringing his arms down to wrap tightly around Lucas’s back, as he stoops slightly to allow their bodies to line up. Lucas’s arms wrap around Eliott’s neck as he hungrily returns the kiss. Eliott only pulls back to drag in a desperate breath. He presses their foreheads together as he does so, refusing to loosen his hold around Lucas. He opens his eyes, the sudden need to memorize Lucas’s features at this moment, overwhelming. Lucas’s eyes remain shut but he’s… smiling. Eliott lifts his head to afford himself a better view. Lucas’s eyes now blink open, but his smile remains. Eliott returns it, moving one hand to cup Lucas’s jaw, pressing his thumb against Lucas’s lower lip. Lucas’s smile grows as he surges forward to connect their lips once more. Eliott allows it, dropping his head at the pull of Lucas’s insistent hands in his hair and letting Lucas guide him in another bruising kiss.</p><p>Eliott has always been a fan of kissing. He’s always thought people rush it – as though it’s merely a means to an end. But not Eliott. Kissing has always felt entirely different from any other form of intimacy – a connection that runs much deeper than the mere physical. Like a meeting of souls. A ridiculously romantic thought he knows. He’s been mocked by Idriss on more than one occasion for expressing such sentiments. But in this moment, kissing Lucas, Eliott has never been more sure he’s right. Because it’s never felt like this. And how can that be? How can a kiss be so much more with one particular person – if not for a meeting of souls – souls that have been waiting in endless time to find one another – <em>searching </em>for their match.</p><p>Lucas is pressing him backwards. He refuses to allow their mouths to disconnect, instead walking Eliott backwards blindly until they reach the bed. The back of Eliott’s legs connect with the frame and his knees give, causing him to slump to a seat on the edge. He gasps for air as he stares up at the beautiful boy responsible for his current position. Lucas stands between his legs, chest rising and falling rapidly, wild strands of hair fallen down onto his forehead, mouth parted and lips slick. He’s a vision.</p><p>Eliott moves a hand to Lucas’s stomach and presses his scrubs top up and out of the way. He glances up at Lucas quickly, looking for signs of discomfort. Lucas’s eyes are wide and locked on Eliott. He gives no indication he wants to stop. Eliott uses his other hand to pull the edge of Lucas’s bottoms down, just enough to reveal more of his stomach. Eliott moves his thumb over the swell he finds there, that slight curve of soft belly just beneath harder muscle. He leans forward and presses a kiss to the spot. Lucas gasps, fingers tightening in Eliott’s hair. Eliott does it again, listening to Lucas’s stuttered breaths as he presses kiss after kiss against the swell, before resting there, rubbing his lips back and forth against the soft skin.</p><p>Lucas jerks Eliott’s head back with a tight grip to his hair. He leans down, pressing their lips together as he moves to straddle Eliott’s lap, knees on either side of Eliott’s hips. Eliott takes advantage of their new position, moving his hands from Lucas’s hips to his ass, gripping tightly and pulling Lucas more tightly to him. Lucas breaks their kiss as Eliott does so, gasping loudly before he falls forward and buries his face in Eliott’s neck. There’s a shiver running through his body. It’s subtle but it feels a little like his whole body is vibrating in Eliott’s hold. He’s making quiet, desperate sounds, his hips moving in minute shifts, and Eliott is suddenly keenly aware of exactly how hard they both are.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whispers, a suggestion as he fills his hands with both cheeks of Lucas’s ass, squeezing and kneading, a mindless impulse. Lucas abruptly pushes up and away, out of Eliott’s lap. Eliott scrambles to maintain his grip, initially thinking Lucas is falling, but his hands are slapped away as Lucas comes to rest on his knees between Eliott’s legs. He pulls off both of his shirts, leaving him topless as he rests his arms against Eliott’s thighs. His tattooed arm is a riot of colours in contrast to the more muted colours of the room – vibrant colour in a wasteland of neutrals.</p><p>“Lift up.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks stupidly, so astounded at the sight of Lucas kneeling in front of him, basic thought remains out of reach.</p><p>“Lift up?” It’s a question now. Lucas licks his lips, somehow managing to look perfectly angelic with his swollen red lips, and wide, shining blue eyes, while also managing to look like every version of Eliott’s most depraved fantasies.</p><p>Eliott reaches for his scrubs top first, quickly divesting himself of it throwing it to the bed next to him. He moves his hands to the waist of his bottoms then, lifting up enough to pull the material of his scrubs and briefs down over his hips. Lucas takes over, pulling the material down to Eliott’s ankles, before his eyes land on where Eliott’s erection juts from his body, red and dripping, and far harder than it should be with so little contact having occurred. With the way Lucas is staring, however, Eliott can’t find it in him to be embarrassed.</p><p>Lucas quirks an eyebrow, eyes dragging up to meet Eliott’s. His mouth pulls up at one corner. “Not so average then.”</p><p>Eliott’s laugh cuts off with a strangled sound as Lucas grips his erection with one hand, immediately bending down to circle his tongue around the tip, feeding it into his mouth. He sucks around the head before sinking down, tongue tracing the vein on the underside, before drawing back up. His hand moves on the slick skin then, pumping with a grip so perfectly tight, Eliott finds himself grunting in time with the movements. Lucas’s eyes move up, catching Eliott’s as though to make sure he’s watching – as if Eliott could do anything but – before he looks back to Eliott’s straining erection and leans forward, kissing the dripping tip.</p><p>“Oh fuck.” He squeezes his eyes shut and moves a hand into Lucas’s hair, threading it through the strands, but keeping his hold light. He’s too close. This is ridiculous. Lucas has barely touched him. He shouldn’t be this close. And yet it’s licking up his spine, heat that spreads and settles in his balls as Lucas leans back down, flattening his tongue against the underside of Eliott’s cock and sending a full body shock through Eliott’s body. His hips jerks slightly, but his position seated on the bed keeps him from unintentionally thrusting up into Lucas’s mouth. It’s his first – and hopefully not only – blowjob with Lucas. Manners seem crucially important. He takes a shuddering breath as he attempts to regain some control. It’s an exercise in futility however. Lucas sinks down, lips meeting his fist at the base of Eliott’s cock. His tongue curls on the underside and Eliott makes the mistake of looking back down. Lucas’s eyes are closed, mouth stretched obscenely around the girth of Eliott’s cock, a line of drool running down his chin.</p><p>“Lucas.” It’s a broken plea. For what, Eliott doesn’t know. He scrapes Lucas’s hair back from his face, watching raptly as Lucas pulls up and off, breathing against the head of Eliott’s cock as his hand forms a tight circle around the base and pumps the exposed, stretched skin. His other hand moves from Eliott’s thigh, down between his legs. Eliott spreads his legs further and Lucas rewards him with a smile, far too sweet considering the knuckles of his hand are brushing against Eliott’s balls. He leans down again, taking Eliott’s cock back into his mouth and sinking deeply. Eliott moves one hand to Lucas’s jaw, and just as Lucas’s lips once more meet his hand fisted at the base of Eliott’s erection, Eliott presses two fingers to Lucas’s cheek. <em>God</em>, he can feel himself – that’s his cock inside Lucas’s mouth. And suddenly it’s the opposite of sinking. It’s surfacing. Bursting from the cool, crisp, endless blue, in an eruption of pleasure. He just barely manages to warn Lucas in time, tugging at his hair frantically as he chokes on his name.</p><p>“Luc – Lucas – I’m – oh god –”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t pull off, catching the release Eliott offers as he falls forward and holds Lucas to him, shooting again and again against Lucas’s tongue with a blissful moan. He’s never come that hard from a blowjob before in his life. It feels as though every bit of energy he had, he’s left on Lucas’s tongue, leaving him shaky and utterly boneless. Lucas waits until Eliott blinks his eyes back open and meets his own, before he smirks and turns to spit into his hand. Eliott watches intently as Lucas stretches forward and… <em>wipes his hand on the scrubs top Eliott discarded on the bed. </em></p><p>“Lucas!” Eliott yelps reaching for it but it’s too late, a smear of his own come left behind on the unforgiving material. Eliott gapes down at the stain before turning to look at a smug Lucas. “What the fuck?”</p><p>“What? You thought I’d swallow?”</p><p>“You are such a little…” He drags Lucas in by the hair, pulling him up and into his lap for another hard kiss, biting at Lucas’s lower lip before licking into his mouth, chasing the taste of himself. He moves a hand to the front of Lucas’s pants, but it’s quickly knocked away and Lucas breaks the kiss. “Wha –” Eliott pants. “Don’t you want…?” Lucas shakes his head, moving up and off Eliott’s lap. His erection strains the front of his pants obscenely. Eliott can make out the exact shape of him. He swallows heavily.</p><p>“No.” Lucas motions to the pants pooled at Eliott’s ankles. “Get dressed.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs incredulously but does as told, standing to pull his pants and briefs back up. He stands shirtless in front of Lucas and looks pointedly down at the tent at the front of Lucas’s pants. “How are you going to walk through the hospital like that without letting me return the favour?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’m not. Now get your clothes back on and go. One of us needs to be on the floor. It’s almost the end of shift.” He reaches for Eliott’s stained shirt, slapping it to Eliott’s chest.</p><p>“You can’t expect me to put this back on?” Eliott scoffs. But Lucas is moving him urgently towards the door and driven by a real fear Lucas might open the door and throw him out shirtless, Eliott pulls his top back on, cringing down at the very obvious stain on the front. “Lucas,” he tries again, turning just as they reach the door and pressing his back against it, “I can’t go out there like this.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a moment, face worryingly blank, when suddenly he’s leaping forward. Eliott catches him halfway, letting their mouths meet once more. The kiss is less frantic than he expected, softer and slower. He melts into it, moving knuckles to brush against Lucas’s cheek, when abruptly he’s falling backwards, having been pushed through the now open door, into the hospital hallway. He stares in shock, not registering the absence of Lucas in his hands until the door to the on-call room slams in front of him. He stares for a moment before he falls forward, pressing his forehead against it with a huffed laugh. Lucas Lallemant. The bane of his existence. Now more than ever.</p><p>
  <em>“Eliott?” </em>
</p><p>Eliott swings around, to see Yann standing in front of him.</p><p>“Yann!” Oh god. His voice came out high-pitched and mildly hysterical. He clears his throat and tries again. “Hey, uh, what – what are you doing here?”</p><p>“What am I doing here?” Yann asks confused.</p><p>“I mean, it’s – it’s the end of shift, right?” He can’t seem to control the pitch of his voice. He might as well have Lucas on his knees in front of him with a vice-like grip on his balls. No. <em>No, Eliott</em>. Images. No. “So, I just thought you’d already be…” It’s getting worse. He sounds like he never reached the age of puberty. “I’m going to – you know, locker room. Because it’s the end of shift.”</p><p>Yann squints at him. “There’s still a half hour left. That’s if we get off on time.”</p><p><em>Get off </em>on time. “Oh. Oh, yeah. I know. Right.” Eliott nods, a nearly violent motion. “I’m just – done. And yeah, tired. You know. Long day.”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Yann’s eyes drift to the closed door behind him and Eliott’s heart skips a beat. “Guess you are. We’re not even on-call.”</p><p>“What? Oh! Yeah. No. I just – uh, needed time to myself. I’m better now.”</p><p>“Ok.” Yann is definitely looking at Eliott like he’s grown an additional head. Time to go.</p><p>“So,” Eliott points in the direction of the locker room, “I’m just gonna…” He turns to leave.</p><p>“Sure. But hey, Eliott?” Yann calls after him. Eliott turns back. “Looks like you got a little…” Yann motions at the front of Eliott’s top and Eliott can feel the blood drain from his face. “What is that? Spit up? Spending time in peds were you?” He’s smirking now. Oh fuck.</p><p>“Oh, uh…” Eliott slaps a hand to the stain on his front, cringing slightly at the sticky feel of it pressing to his stomach. “Yeah. I mean, no. Not peds. Just, you know…” He scrambles for an excuse. “Hospital. Patients. Bodily fluids.” Yes, Eliott. Excellent job. Not suspicious at all. He’ll just go bury himself in a hole six feet deep now.</p><p>“Yeah.” Yann is so clearly repressing a laugh and Eliott wants to curl up in a ball and die. “Those bodily fluids can be tricky.”</p><p>“Right,” Eliott nods. “Anyways, I’ll just be going then.” Yann nods and Eliott turns to flee, just barely stopping himself from breaking into a sprint.</p><p>The only blessing is that he doesn’t run into Mika on the way. Yann is one thing. He wouldn’t have survived a run in with Mika. As a matter of fact, he’s not even sure he survived that run in with Yann. Eliott has a feeling that situation is still in progress.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Surprise! </p><p>Early update goes out to the anon who send me a message when I was posting Hollow Edge saying they missed the Tempo days when I'd randomly update a couple chapters a week. So here you go, anon. Just this once!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>“What the hell are you doing?”</p><p>Eliott leaps about a foot in the air at the sound of Emma’s voice at his shoulder. Swinging around to face her as he attempts to get his heart rate back under control.</p><p>“Nothing!” It comes out way too defensive, but she did just catch him pressed to a hospital wall, peeking around the corner like an absolute creeper. Explaining his actions at the moment is not at the top of his list of things to do. He just hopes she doesn’t notice he’s avoiding Yann and Lucas having a conversation just down the hall. Lucas, Eliott wouldn’t mind seeing. He hasn’t had an opportunity to talk to him at all today. Yann, on the other hand, Eliott would like to avoid like his life – or at least his pride – depends on it.</p><p>Emma being Emma however, doesn’t look the least bit concerned by this lack of an explanation. “Whatever.” She thumps a fist against his shoulder. Hard. Eliott stumbles slightly to the side and uses it as an excuse to shift them further from the corner he’d been peering around. “You coming to the party Thursday?”</p><p>“What party?” He’s been a little distracted lately, but he doesn’t think he heard about any party.</p><p>Emma frowns. “I have to do every fucking things myself, I swear to god,” she huffs. “I’m throwing a birthday party for Alex. Lucas was supposed to let you know about it.”</p><p>“It’s his birthday?” Eliott focuses on that detail rather than consider why Lucas hasn’t told him about the party.</p><p>“You didn’t know it was his birthday? He’s been your roommate for how long?” She doesn’t look impressed. Eliott doesn’t think he’s ever seen Emma look annoyed – at least not when directed at him.</p><p>He rushes to correct his error. “No. Of course, I do.” He absolutely did not remember anything of the sort. Just the same, he forces a slight chuckle, shaking his head as though laughing at himself. “I meant, I didn’t realize he was celebrating it this year.” That’s close enough to the truth. Alex has never once marked his birthday with Eliott and Lucille. His idea of celebrating being bringing someone home from the bar and keeping everyone up with a round of sex far too loud to be anything but exaggerated pleasure, then claiming Eliott and Lucille don’t get to complain because <em>it’s his birthday</em>. Eliott supposes it will be both the same and different this year. At least he’ll know who to yell at for being too loud this time.</p><p>“Well, it’ll be at our place,” Emma continues. Eliott supposes she means her shared apartment with Yann and Lucas. “Thursday because we’re on-call for the weekend. Probably be working extra hours. Gotta get the party out of our system before then.” She wiggles an eyebrow while Eliott chuckles, nodding in acknowledgement. Only Emma and Alex would think partying right before a work-intensive weekend was a good plan.</p><p>“Sounds good. Can I bring anything?” Eliott offers.</p><p>“Drinks. Food. Whatever.” A classic Emma answer – of no real help at all.</p><p>“Ok.” Eliott exhales a laugh. “So, things are good with you two then?”</p><p>Emma’s face brightens into a wide smile. “Yeah, they’re really great.” Her eyes take on a dreamy, happy quality. “It’s like… I’ve never had a guy who can fuck me so well, but also… my heart, you know?”</p><p>Eliott just barely stifles a burst of laughter, doing his best to look sincere as he replies, “Ya, can’t say I’ve experienced it myself but that sounds pretty special.”</p><p><em>“A high compliment too</em>.”</p><p>Eliott’s head jerks in the direction of Lucas’s voice. He’s standing with his shoulder resting against the corner of the hall, eyes on them both, and slight smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. He’s alone. Eliott relaxes, offering a gentle smile as Lucas approaches them.</p><p>“A guy who can fuck your heart as good as your –”</p><p>“Ok, shut up,” Emma interrupts, shoving his shoulder roughly when he’s close enough. “You know what I meant.”</p><p>“Not sure I do.” Lucas grins, clearly taking pleasure in teasing her. “Never been fucked by Alex either way. Though if he’d had his way…”</p><p>“Oh jesus,” Emma groans. “Would you shut up about that already?!”</p><p>“Wait.” Eliott’s eyes pinball between them. “What do you mean? Alex wanted to…” He forces the rest of the words out as he looks to Lucas, “Sleep with you?” Eliott knew accepting that stupid, sex-obsessed asshole as a roommate was a mistake.</p><p>“Do not listen to a word he says!” Emma yells, entirely unconcerned that she attracts the attention of a number of patients and colleagues in the hall.</p><p>“You really gonna claim it’s not true?” Lucas scoffs, crossing his arms, expression the very definition of smug.</p><p>“It’s not like it was ever gonna happen. You just can’t let it go.”</p><p>“Uh…” Eliott breaks in. “Is one of you going to explain or…”</p><p>Emma raises a hand directly in Lucas’s face when he goes to speak. Lucas knocks it away but doesn’t interrupt her as she explains. “When Alex and I first started talking about bringing a guy in for threesomes, we were talking about the type of guy Alex would be into, right?” She says this with the same shameless confidence Alex has displayed when talking about going down on Emma at the breakfast table. They truly are perfect for one another. Eliott nods as though having this conversation I the middle of a hospital hallway isn’t giving him heart palpitations. “Anyways, he mentioned Lucas.”</p><p>“He didn’t just mention me,” Lucas scoffs. “I was the only guy he named.” There’s definite pride in his voice.</p><p>Emma rolls her eyes. “Calm down. It’s just ‘cause you’re tiny and unintimidating.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small squeak of outrage. It does nothing to contradict Emma’s statement, but it is absolutely adorable. “I am <em>not</em> tiny. You just can’t handle the fact your boyfriend is into me.” Eliott’s not so sure he can deal with that fact either.</p><p>“He’s not <em>into </em>you, loser,” Emma huffs. “God, I am <em>so</em> done dealing with you.” If anyone told Eliott at that moment that Emma and Lucas were siblings, he’d have no problem believing it. She turns back to him. “I’ll see you later.” A swift look in Lucas’s direction. “You can get bent.”</p><p>“Love you too,” Lucas calls as Emma stomps away, chuckling as he moves to stand in front of Eliott, still watching Emma as she leaves.</p><p>Eliott studies his profile for a moment – the sharp cut of his jaw… the way his lips pillow out as he blows Emma’s departing figure a kiss. “Do you really think Alex is into you?”</p><p>Lucas turns back to him, smile dropped with his surprise, until he suddenly laughs, shaking his head. “No. Just like to piss her off.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott pulls his brows together as he considers how to go about this conversation. “He said he wanted to sleep with you…”</p><p>“Well yeah,” Lucas shrugs, eyes dropping to the floor between them. “Alex would sleep with a garbage can if it had a heartbeat.”</p><p>Eliott isn’t so sure he buys that explanation, but he chuckles anyways. “Well, you’re a step up from a garbage can.”</p><p>Lucas glances up slightly, and something about the way he keeps his face tilted down but looks up through his lashes, makes his eyes seem even bigger than normal. Truly how anyone finds it in them to say no to those eyes, Eliott doesn’t understand.</p><p>“So, you’re coming then?” Lucas asks, blinking slowly.</p><p>“What? Oh! Yeah.” Eliott shakes his head slightly as though that will snap him out of the delirium brought on by Lucas’s simple presence. “Yeah, I guess I’ll be there. Not so sure about having to face Yann though.”</p><p>Lucas exhales through a laugh. “I’ll tell him to go easy on you.”</p><p>“Thanks.” They stand for a moment, doing no more than smiling softly at one another when a third – so <em>entirely</em> unwanted – voice breaks the moment.</p><p>
  <em>“Just the guy I was looking for!” </em>
</p><p>Eliott turns, already frowning, to see Jeremy approaching. He looks quickly back to Lucas and notes Lucas doesn’t look all that pleased either. Eliott tries not to glean too much satisfaction from that.</p><p>“Hey,” Lucas greets, hand immediately moving to his hair, raking it back from his face as he drops his gaze to the floor, in what seems to be an attempt to gather himself.</p><p>“Not that I’m not happy to see you, Eliott.” Jeremy offers him a smile, which Eliott does his best to return. He’s not so sure he’s successful. Jeremy looks back to Lucas. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Lu. Did you get my messages?”</p><p>“Uh, yeah,” Lucas nods, looking up at Jeremy before he drops his eyes once more. “Been busy.”</p><p>“Oh, right. Sure.” Jeremy looks a little awkward now, clearly picking up on the disinterest radiating off Lucas. Even Eliott is feeling distinctly uncomfortable. It’s hard to relish Lucas brushing Jeremy off when it results in <em>that </em>look on Jeremy’s face. He looks like a kicked puppy. “Well, my roommate is going away this weekend. I was thinking we could –”</p><p>“<em>As much as it thrills me to see my interns milling about staring at their navels, it would be even better to see you doing your jobs.” </em>Eliott has never been happier to hear Mika’s voice in his life. “JerBear,” Mika continues as he stops on Lucas and Eliott’s other side, “do scuttle along and chat with the Clovis family like I requested, will you? And when you’re done with that, take Mrs. Roux down for her chest x-ray.”</p><p>“Of course,” Jeremy nods eagerly. “Sorry, Mika. I was just on my way and –”</p><p>“Jer, Jerryberry,” Mika interrupts, “you know I enjoy our little chats but scoot!” He at least manages to get a laugh out of Jeremy as he quite literally shoes him away.</p><p>“Ok, I’m leaving.” Jeremy sends one last longing look Lucas’s direction as he walks away. “I’ll see you later, Lu?” Lucas nods but doesn’t look up. No one speaks until Jeremy has disappeared down the hall.</p><p>“Well,” Mika sighs, slinging arms around Lucas and Eliott’s shoulders and pulling them closer together, “that was one of the most painful things I’ve ever seen in my life.”</p><p>“Mika,” Lucas groans, hands pressing up to hide his face.</p><p>“Don’t <em>Mika </em>me! I told you not to dip your pen in company ink.”</p><p>Lucas’s hands drop, along with his jaw. “That’s not what you said!”</p><p>“You’re right,” Mika allows, moving a hand to quickly ruffle Lucas’s hair. “I said not to take the puppy out to play who was going to fall in love with you at first sight. Especially when you had no intention of adopting the poor bastard.” Lucas looks like he’s about to have an aneurysm.</p><p>“That is an awful metaphor,” Eliott says, drawing Mika’s attention to him. “Kind of creepy too.”</p><p>“Oh, alright, Dr. Grammarly.” Mika drops his arms from their shoulders in order to raise his hands in front of himself in faux offense. “Didn’t realize my <em>metaphors </em>were about to be judged. Might not be my best work but it is <em>apt</em>. That boy looked like a lost puppy.” Eliott doesn’t dare admit he’d been thinking the same thing.</p><p>“Well he shouldn’t. I was clear. I <em>told </em>him I didn’t want anything. Ugh,” Lucas groans in frustration. “Can we just stop talking about this?” He pleads. “If you just came here to give me shit, can I go? I have stuff to do.”</p><p>“I came to <em>rescue</em> you,” Mika points out, “but by all means, if you have <em>stuff to do</em>. Funny though. Didn’t seem too interested in that <em>stuff</em> when it was just you two chatting.”</p><p>“You were watching us?” Eliott asks, not too sure what to make of that information.</p><p>“Now, see, <em>that </em>sounds creepy.” Mika flutters a hand in front of them as though he can summon an explanation from thin air. “I was merely walking down the hall when I noticed my two best interns were too busy lost in one another’s eyes to come close to anything resembling productive.”</p><p>“I’m leaving,” Lucas announces abruptly, turning and immediately marching away from them both.</p><p>“Those patient consent forms, Lallemant! I want them signed within the hour!” Mika calls after him. Lucas acknowledges him with a brief wave over his shoulder.</p><p>Eliott watches Lucas’s retreating form until he turns the corner and disappears from sight, before he turns back. Mika’s eyes are already on him.</p><p>“Seems you took my advice.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Mika winks. “Found some things to like about Lucas, didn’t you then?”</p><p>“I don’t – I’m not sure I –”</p><p>“Ok, ok, don’t hurt yourself.” Mika waves off his stuttering. “You have things to do as well, do you not?”</p><p>“Yes. Yes, of course,” Eliott agrees, glad to have an out. He moves to pass Mika.</p><p>“Just one more thing, Demaury,” Mika adds. Eliott looks back to him. “That advice I gave Lucas? It applies to you too.”</p><p>Eliott pauses in his movements, turning back to face Mika fully. “Don’t dip my pen in company ink?” Too late for that.</p><p>Mika tilts his head, giving Eliott a considering look before he answers, more seriously than Eliott is used to. “Careful of the commitments you’re making – and not making. Communication is your friend. Use your words.”</p><p>Eliott purses his lips as he ponders Mika’s words. “That doesn’t sound like the advice you gave Lucas.”</p><p>“Oh, it was,” Mika assures, “I just used far more colourful language.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “Ok. Well… thanks, I guess.” He offers a nod before he turns and makes his way back down the hall.</p><p>Use his words. Easier said and done when even a bare grasp on the human language abandons him the moment he’s in Lucas’s general vicinity. He sighs deeply. And yet, he knows… it’s good advice.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“<em>Damnnnnn</em>.” Idriss’s boisterous voice comes from behind Eliott just as the apartment building comes into sight. He turns to see not just Idriss but Sofiane too.</p><p>Eliott grins. “Hey.”</p><p>“Oh no, no, no,” Idriss wags his finger, and judging by the exaggerated smile on his face and overall body language, Eliott is willing to bet he’s had a few pre-party drinks. “Don’t give me that <em>hey</em> when you’re standing there looking like <em>that</em>. That’s your gettin’ laid outfit!”</p><p>Eliott shares a quick amused look with Sofiane, wherein a slight nod is enough to confirm that Idriss is most definitely on the way to tipsy, if not drunk.</p><p>“Is that true or have you just decided that’s true, Idri? Something I should know?” Eliott wiggles an eyebrow.</p><p>Idriss throws his head back and laughs, far too loud for the quiet evening surrounding them but it’s ridiculously infectious and Sofiane and Eliott end up laughing along.</p><p>“You wish,” Idriss challenges, still chuckling to himself. And well… yeah, there was a time Eliott most definitely did. But Idriss already knows that and doesn’t need his ego stroked to any further extent.</p><p>“I don’t know… Sof’s been looking pretty good lately.”</p><p>Sofiane laughs, looking delighted by this while Idriss’s face drops in outrage.</p><p>“Fuck off! He is not!”</p><p>“Oh,” Sofiane scoffs, “thanks so much.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Idriss dismisses with a wave of his hand that nearly catches Sofiane directly in the face, “you know you’re hot. You’re just not hotter than me.”</p><p>Sofiane and Eliott snort in tandem. “Well no one can compete with your ego, that’s for sure,” Eliott says with a roll of his eyes.</p><p>“Really?” Eliott’s not so sure he likes that smile on Idriss’s face. “‘Cause I seem to remember there’s one <em>ego </em>you seem to think can’t be beat.”</p><p>Eliott narrows his eyes, turning his attention to Sofiane instead. “Imane definitely had the right idea.” He motions for Sofiane to join him in continuing towards the building which Sofiane gladly does with a laugh. “She not coming tonight?”</p><p>Sofiane shakes his head. “Nah. She’s smarter than the rest of us. Partying when everyone has to be up for work tomorrow doesn’t seem the best idea.”</p><p>“True,” Eliott acknowledges. “Not all of us are planning to go as hard as that idiot though.”</p><p>The idiot in question abruptly inserts himself in between them, swinging an arm around each of their shoulders as they continue to the front of the building. “You guys are assholes but goddamn we make a good-looking trio, don’t we?”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, pushing through the front door propped open by a well-placed brick. “What’s with you being so up on yourself tonight? Manon going to be here?”</p><p>Idriss follows through the door, exaggerating a pout. “No, she had some work to do. Said she’s swamped this week.”</p><p>“You guys haven’t seen one another since your date?” Sofiane asks, just as they enter the elevator.</p><p>“Nah,” Idriss sighs, leaning back against the wall. “Talked a bunch though. But I’m just so…” He makes a frustrated sound. “And she’s so…” A pained groan now. Sofiane snickers.</p><p>“Wait…” Eliott turns to eyeball Idriss, his relaxed posture slumped against the elevator, the frustration evident on his face. “You’re not looking to hookup with someone else tonight, are you?”</p><p>“What the fuck! No!” Idriss’s face transforms with outrage and it calms something inside of Eliott. “What’s wrong with you?” He shoves Eliott’s shoulder roughly.</p><p>“Ok!” Eliott laughs, cowering slightly to feign surrender. “I was just checking. Things could get kind of messy if you were.”</p><p>The elevator doors open and they file out, turning to make their way down the hall. The noise emanating from an unseen apartment in the distance making the monitoring of apartment door numbers a moot point.</p><p>“Messy for who though?” Idriss continues. “Me and Manon? Or you?”</p><p>Eliott turns to look over his shoulder towards Idriss. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“You know exactly what that’s supposed to mean,” Idriss scoffs. “You’re not worried about me and Manon. You’re worried about things being fucked up for you and Lucas.” Sofiane stays conspicuously silent, just behind Idriss but his eyes are on Eliott too, expression curious.</p><p>Eliott turns back to face down the hall. “I don’t need anyone’s help to fuck things up with Lucas. Do fine on my own.”</p><p>“You still don’t want to talk about things?” Sofiane asks, quiet and cautious.</p><p>Eliott turns to throw him a quick, thankful smile. Sofiane’s always more respectful of people’s boundaries. Especially when compared to Idriss, who favours plowing right through carefully constructed fences as though he never saw them in the first place. “I sort of do,” Eliott admits. “I’m just not sure I can right now.”</p><p>“Well, when you do…” Sofiane offers.</p><p>“Would you stop being so nice to him,” Idriss complains. “It makes him think he can get away with this!”</p><p>“Get away with what?” Eliott laughs, stopping in front of the door nearly vibrating with the sound of music and partygoers inside. He turns to face his friends. “Keeping things to myself for once?”</p><p>“Yes!” Idriss huffs as though the thought alone were proof enough of very wrong Eliott is. “You know I work in the hospital too, yeah? I talk to Mika basically every day.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, reaching for the door and letting a flood of noise overwhelm the rest of his sentence, “that’s my point.”</p><p>Eliott sees Lucille and Anna first, standing just inside the door. Eliott had been given the option of coming to the party with them but had decided against arriving at Lucas’s apartment with two women he’d slept with. He smiles and moves forward to greet them both, though he’d only seen Lucille a couple hours prior.</p><p>“Luc, Anna.” He bestows kisses on each of their cheeks.</p><p>“You sure you wanna be doing that?” Lucille asks with a cocked eyebrow, though she doesn’t stop him.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, confused, glancing quickly at Anna, but she only offers him a quick shrug.</p><p>“You really think I don’t know why you didn’t want to show up with us?” Lucille asks.</p><p>Eliott’s heart thumps in his chest. Does Lucille know? She’s definitely had her suspicions about Lucas. He looks back to Anna.</p><p>“Don’t look at me,” she says in reply. “I figured you were too busy with work.” It’s her way of saying she hasn’t shared any of their conversation with Lucille. He relaxes. Of course, she wouldn’t have. He offers her a small smile of gratitude.</p><p>Lucille laughs. “No way. Looking like <em>that</em>?” She sweeps her eyes up and down his body. “And refusing to show up with either of us? He’s looking to get laid.”</p><p>“That’s what I said!” Idriss crows, appearing from behind Eliott and slinging an arm around his shoulders as he rests against his side. “Batgirl, Lucy,” he greets with a tip of his head.</p><p>Anna laughs. “Hey, Idriss.”</p><p>Eliott groans. “Alright, I’m done with this topic.” He shoves Idriss’s arm off him. “I’m going to go find my real friends.”</p><p>Idriss snorts. “We’re your only friends. Who you think you’re gonna find in there?” He gestures towards the rest of the apartment and the swarm of crowded bodies. He means it as a joke of course. But the thing is… he isn’t wrong. Eliott has always preferred a few close friends over a lot of acquaintances. Putting up with Idriss and Lucille at present, however…</p><p>“Let me rephrase,” Eliott says, rounding on Idriss. “Rather go lone-wolf than look at your face any longer than I have to.” He turns to begin pushing his way towards what he thinks is the kitchen.</p><p>“Put those jeans to use, buddy.” Idriss offers a sharp smack on his ass just as he begins walking away. Eliott squeaks at the contact but refuses to turn back as he hears his friends laughing behind him.</p><p>Sofiane is a welcome sight the moment Eliott locates the kitchen and makes his way in. It’s crowded in this space too but less so, and Sofiane stands by a counter filled with various drink options. He smiles and motions for Eliott the moment he sees him.</p><p>“Hey.” Eliott slumps against the counter, looking down at the drink concoction Sofiane is making himself.</p><p>“You want?” Sofiane offers, already grabbing another cup and repeating his steps. He’s mixing a few different fruit juices with a number of carbonated non-alcoholic beverages.</p><p>“Is it just me,” Eliott begins, “or is Idri being more obnoxious than usual?”</p><p>Sofiane chuckles, nodding as he continues mixing the drinks. “Yeah. Honestly? I think he’s more stressed about Manon then he’s letting on.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott considers this. “Like stressed she doesn’t like him?”</p><p>“Nah,” Sofiane says with a shake of his head, handing Eliott’s drink over to him. “He knows she likes him. He’s just never cared this much before, you know?” Eliott nods. “He cares about her opinion of him. And he doesn’t want to screw things up.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, eyes dropping to his drink. He takes a sip as he contemplates the words and the startlingly familiar sentiment behind them.</p><p>“I don’t think he knows what to do with a girl who matters. Who isn’t easy,” Sofiane laughs and Eliott joins in.</p><p>“And so, he’s taking it out on me?”</p><p>Sofiane shrugs. “Sorry man, you’re an easy target.” Eliott snorts at that in agreement. “Imane’s totally tight-lipped about the whole thing though. Won’t get me any info from that group chat of theirs.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott hums. “It’s that moral compass of hers. Bad luck that.”</p><p>Sofiane chuckles, nodding towards Eliott’s drink. “You like it?”</p><p>Eliott, who previously had gotten too distracted by the thoughts their conversation had surfaced to try it, now takes a big gulp, nodding eagerly. “That’s <em>really </em>good.” Surprisingly the odd concoction really is.</p><p>Sofiane nods. “You drinking tonight? I can add a little to yours if you like.” He tilts his head to further down the counter where a selection of alcohol sits.  </p><p>Eliott shakes his head. “I’m good for now. Thanks though. Guess we should…” He turns to lead the way out of the kitchen only to stop dead in his tracks. Lucas is standing in front of him – also looking like he’s frozen in spot, mouth parted, and eyes locked to Eliott.</p><p>“What are you doing here?” It’s Lucas speaking but it sounds more like breath than actual words.</p><p>“What?” Eliott feels his face pull in confusion. “I… you knew I was coming?” He doesn’t mean to word it like a question but at the sight of Lucas, he feels entirely thrown off balance.</p><p>Lucas blinks, looking startled. “Yeah, I – I meant – just – why are you wearing that?” He asks in one big expulsion of air.</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment before dropping eyes to look down his own body. He doesn’t understand why everyone is reacting like he’d put on his best dress for an interview at a strip club. Everything he wears is pretty regular fare. It’s true these jeans hug his ass and thighs in a way that is particularly flattering. But his top is nothing special – just a black biker tank that’s seen better days, a little too stretched around his shoulders, and gaping slightly down under his armpits. Ok, ok… so maybe he chose this shirt because it gave him a chance to show off his arms, and if he turns just the right way with arms raised, there’s an enticing possibility of a nip slip… but it’s not like Lucas hasn’t seen <em>a lot </em>more of him already. He looks back up at him apprehensively. Lucas’s brows have pulled together. He doesn’t look pleased. In fact, Eliott would say he almost looks annoyed. Eliott can feel his own frustration build at the sight.</p><p>“What’s wrong with it?” His voice comes out more whine than the stronger defense he intended but… he’s just thought… well… he’s wanted a different reaction. That’s all.</p><p>“Nothing.” The word is clipped. Lucas snaps his mouth shut, eyes swinging between Sofiane and Eliott, before he spins on his heal and rushes from the kitchen.</p><p>“That was weird,” Sofiane comments. “You sure you don’t want to talk about it?”</p><p>“I don’t even know what <em>that </em>was,” Eliott huffs turning back to Sofiane. “On second thought,” he motions to the alcohol on the counter, “hand me the vodka, would you?”</p><p>Sofiane eyes him skeptically. “You sure?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott sighs, but at the look on Sofiane’s face, adds with a laugh, “I’m kidding. I’ll be fine, Sof. I’m not going to get wasted. Just want to take the edge off.”</p><p>“The edge being Lucas?” Eliott doesn’t say anything, raising an eyebrow instead. “Ok.” Sofiane gives in, reaching for the vodka. “But to be clear,” he adds, as he pours the liquid into Eliott’s drink, “you get Idriss-levels of obnoxious, I’m ditching you both and finding new friends. A lot of people here. I think I’d do just fine.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I give you my blessing.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>As Sofiane decides on returning to Idriss’s side, Eliott chooses to try his hand with the rest of the partygoers. While Idriss is correct in – <em>oh so obnoxiously</em> – pointing out that Eliott’s friends are comprised of the small group still set in the foyer, there are people Eliott <em>knows</em>. Alex for one – though Eliott quickly sees he’s comfortably collapsed in a corner of the room with Emma on his lap engaged in what looks to be a makeout session that should really be reserved for behind closed doors. But he’s not the only person Eliott is on friendly terms with. Of course there’s Yann – but Eliott doesn’t see him anywhere and in the interests of preserving some modicum of self-respect, he’d like to keep it that way for now. There’s Lisa – though a quick perusal of the crowded room seems to confirm what he already guessed – she’s not here. Eliott can’t say he’s surprised there. What little he knows of Lisa speaks to an intense aversion to party dynamics such as this – or group dynamics in general.</p><p>Eliott’s jostled roughly by a passing drunken partygoer and he retreats slightly, placing himself between a hallway corner and a … lamp. Great. Not looking pathetic at all then. He takes a few measuring gulps of his drink while he searches for the room for anyone else he might know. There’s that other intern he’s seen on occasion … Eliott’s sure they’ve at the very least, nodded to one another in a friendly manner before. Julien, Eliott thinks his name is. Though the very fact that Eliott isn’t one hundred percent certain that is in fact his name is cause enough to dismiss him as a perspective let’s-chat-so-I-don’t-feel-so-awkward prospect. He sighs unhappily.</p><p>Best just admit it: there’s one person he’s looking for, and he’s the only person Eliott can’t see <em>anywhere</em>. He does catch sight of Jeremy, however. There’s something unnervingly mirror-like about the image he makes, standing across the room, scanning it with an intensity matched only by Eliott, and likely with the same goal in mind. More unsettled than he would like, Eliott pulls his eyes away only to meet the eyes of… <em>oh god, tonight is just not his night</em>… Clara. She’s standing with a number of other interns and nurses, more than a few of their eyes are on Eliott. Leaving home at all tonight was clearly a mistake.</p><p>Eliott drops his drink on a table with a splash and moves for the balcony. It’s all he can think to do. Escaping the apartment entirely would mean going by Idriss et all, who would no doubt be immediately concerned and raise a fuss and… Eliott just needs air. It’s too crowded and he can’t <em>breathe</em>. The sliding glass door is partially open, and he pushes it only enough to squeeze his body through, tripping over the door jam and catching himself against the balcony railing. He inhales deeply, leaning down to press his forehead against the cold metal. He squeezes his eyes shut, releasing tense muscles with a shaky exhale.</p><p>“Are you ok?”</p><p>Eliott jerks up, eyes swinging in the direction of the voice, surprised to see it’s not just one person but a small group… all faces he knows… all looking at him. The balcony has no real seating apart from a singular chair and overturned carton-turned-table, and they’ve all chosen to sit on the cement. Blankets and jackets spread across them to combat the chill of the night. Yann is leaning against the railing closest to Eliott. Bas is next to him, curled into the side of their other friend, Arthur – or as Eliott will always think of him, the instigator behind the conversation that led to Anna being known as ‘batgirl’. And next to Arthur, sitting across from Yann, a tiny shape of a boy under a mound of blanket… Lucas.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Eliott answers, but it comes out meek and broken. He tries again, lowering his voice an octave, “Sometimes crowded spaces like that just get to be a bit too much.”</p><p>“Join us!” Bas shouts, only to be swiftly swatted by Arthur, who holds a hand to his ear.</p><p>“Volume, Bas, or I’m turning my aids off. Jesus. He’s not across a fucking field.”</p><p>“Oh, sorry, sorry, buddy!” Bas drops his voice. Half-wrapped around Arthur’s arm, he drops his head to his shoulder, blinking adoringly before he looks back at Eliott. “Really though. Hang with us.”</p><p>Eliott drops his gaze to the pavement for a moment. He doesn’t have a jacket and it’s a bit too cold to be outside for an extended period without one. But the prospect of not having to go back inside and instead spending time with them… with <em>Lucas</em>… is too good to pass up. He glances up, eyes moving to the boy at the forefront of his mind. Lucas is looking at his hands, picking restlessly at the blanket, but as if sensing Eliott’s eyes on him, he looks up. He rolls his eyes, but his mouth pulls up just slightly in a smile. It’s all the permission Eliott needs.</p><p>“Thanks,” he directs at Bas as he approaches and drops down next to Lucas, pressing his back up against the glass behind him with a shiver. He leaves a gap between them. “Wouldn’t mind hiding out here for the rest of the night. Pretty sure the peds girls want me dead.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas suddenly speaks, head popping up further from the blanket as he turns to look at Eliott. “Who invited them?”</p><p>“You know Emma invited everyone,” Yann snorts. “If she based the guest list on ‘people Lucas likes’ it would have been just us.”</p><p>“A little overly confident there, wouldn’t you say? Who says I like you?” Lucas snarks with a quick grin and wink Yann’s direction.</p><p>“You love us because we’re the only one’s who’ll put up with you,” Arthur adds in.</p><p>“No one asked you,” Lucas banters. “Anyways,” he turns his head back slightly, and while he’s not looking at Eliott, it’s clear the words are meant for him, “that peds chick is crazy.” Eliott winces at Lucas’s choice of words. “You danced with her once. She needs to get the fuck over it.” Eliott is inclined to agree but…</p><p>“I think it’s more that she thought I was planning to cheat on my girlfriend with her,” he says instead.</p><p>“Girlfriend?!” Bas squawks.</p><p>Eliott’s heart suddenly thumps loudly in his chest and he’s never been more aware of Lucas just a hands-width away. “No!” He blurts loudly, as all eyes land on him, some more skeptical than others. “I don’t have a girlfriend.” His voice has unintentionally risen in pitch and he clears his throat, consciously dropping it to less just-hit-puberty levels. “Anna was never my girlfriend.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small noise beside him. Eliott thinks it was intended to be one of sarcastic humour but caught somewhere in Lucas’s throat before ever finding proper sound. “Right. I’m sure she’d agree.”</p><p>“She would,” Eliott argues, turning his body enough to allow him to look directly at Lucas, who – with obvious reluctance – meets his gaze. “We were never like that. And we’re definitely not now.”</p><p>“Who’s Anna?” Arthur asks quietly from Lucas’s side, question clearly directed to the other boys.</p><p>“That hottie from the first night we met,” Bas answers. “The one Idriss kept calling batgirl.”</p><p>“Oh, holy shit.” Arthur’s voice has risen in volume, and Eliott drags his eyes away from Lucas to look at him. “You’re sleeping with her? Since that night? Damn, man. She was beautiful. Nice.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott says before he thinks better of it. “I mean, yes, she’s amazing,” Lucas shifts beside him, pulling the blanket up more tightly around his neck and Eliott rushes to continue, “but it’s not like that.”</p><p>“So… you haven’t been sleeping with her since then?” Arthur’s eyebrows have crept together and the look on his face states more clearly than words, that he doesn’t understand what Eliott is getting out of protesting this particular fact.</p><p>“No, I have.” Eliott rakes a hand through his hair in frustration. This isn’t how he’d meant to have this conversation with Lucas. And he most certainly hadn’t intended on Lucas’s friends being who he shared the information with. “It’s just that –”</p><p>“Eliott,” Yann suddenly breaks in, attention moving to Lucas before he looks back to Eliott, eyes sympathetic, “you don’t have to talk about it. You were stressed out enough when you came out here. We’re not trying to make it worse.”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry if it’s a sensitive topic or something, man,” Arthur adds.</p><p>“No, it’s ok,” Eliott assures. He desperately wants to look at Lucas, but he’s fumbling through his explanation enough has it is. Looking at Lucas has never been particularly beneficial, where Eliott and the basic human speech is involved. “I’m just doing a bad job of explaining,” he admits. Honesty seems a better avenue than his continued tiptoeing around what he wants to say – even if Lucas’s entire friend group are included in the explanation. He looks at Arthur. “Yes, Anna and I had been sleeping together. Casually. She was seeing other people. She was fine with me doing the same.”</p><p>“Wait,” Baz interrupts, eyes alight. “So, like friends with benefits? Like that Justin Timberlake movie?”</p><p>Arthur’s nose wrinkles. “That was a terrible movie.”</p><p>“I liked it!” Bas complains.</p><p>“I haven’t seen it,” Eliott admits. “But I’m guessing no. We’re friends but it wasn’t even that… committed.”</p><p>“And you’re friends now?” Yann asks, and something about the way he does has the palms of Eliott’s hands feeling sweaty despite the cold night air. “But you’re not together anymore?” Eliott opens his mouth to protest but Yann beats him to it with a hand waved in the air. “Yeah, yeah, you were never really together. You get what I mean though.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott begins, so entirely aware of Lucas at his side, he feels like he’ll leap out of his skin the moment Lucas speaks – <em>if</em> Lucas speaks. “We’re not – uh – anything but friends anymore.” He swallows, knowing the significance his next words will have to one person in particular in the group. “Not since last weekend.”</p><p>“Why?” Arthur asks. “I mean, no offence, but that sounded like a pretty sweet deal, man.”</p><p>“It just… wasn’t working for either of us anymore.” Not a lie.</p><p>Silence as each of the boys consider this. Eliott drops his eyes, pulling at a frayed edge of the rip at the knee of his jeans.</p><p>“So, what you’re saying is,” Yann speaks into the silence, and when Eliott looks back up, there’s a smirk on his face, “she’s single.”</p><p>Eliott huffs a laugh while Lucas’s leg kicks out, catching Yann on the thigh. “She’d never go for you anyways.” Goosebumps break out across Eliott’s skin at the sound of Lucas’s voice… though perhaps it’s just the chill in the air getting to him.</p><p>Yann’s mouth drops open in offense. “Why wouldn’t she go for me?!” Eliott is quite curious to hear Lucas’s answer himself.</p><p>“Look at that face,” Lucas scoffs, clearly teasing. “Tragic it is.”</p><p>“Fuck you!” Yann laughs. His eyes move to Eliott for a split second and a more mischievous smile takes over his face. “And Eliott’s face?” He asks. “Not shocked about her going for him?” Eliott tenses, eyes dropping as he waits for Lucas’s answer.</p><p>“Everyone goes for Eliott,” Lucas answers, voice casual but just a touch too quiet to carry the relaxed attitude he clearly wishes to project.</p><p>“Not everyone.” Eliott’s turns, meeting Lucas’s eyes and reveling in the way the contact sends a shockwave through his body, reverberating across his skin as though Lucas’s eyes alone could achieve physical touch.</p><p>“I’d go for Eliott,” Bas’s voice cuts through the moment, as clumsy as a bread knife employed in surgical incision.</p><p>“Yeah, everyone knows that too,” Arthur laughs, shoving Bas by the head.</p><p>“How’s Daphne feel about that?” Yann teases.</p><p>Bas shrugs, unconcerned. “She’d go for him too.” His eyes suddenly widen as though a thought has just occurred to him. “You’re not into threesomes, are you?”</p><p>“Fucking hell, Bas,” Lucas groans, hands moving to cover his face in apparent second-hand embarrassment. Eliott feels much the same. “You can’t just ask someone that.”</p><p>“What?” Bas looks more confused than embarrassed. “How are you supposed to know otherwise?”</p><p>“Sorry,” Eliott interrupts,  not interested in this particular thread of conversation continuing, “but it’s not really my thing.”</p><p>“Yeah, I don’t think Bas would be my thing either,” Arthur laughs, while Bas protests with an offended <em>Hey!</em></p><p>“It’s not that,” Eliott assures. Cognisant of Bas’s feelings, he offers a reassuring smile. “I’m sure you and Daphne are great.” Bas straightens his posture at this, throwing Arthur a ‘told you so’ look that is met only with an eye roll. “But I’m not good at sharing,” Eliott admits, eyes unwittingly moving towards Lucas, but the other boy’s gaze darts away the moment they connect. “And things between… people you know… it’s always complicated,” he finishes with a sigh.  </p><p>“That’s ok,” Bas comforts, as though he were the one letting down Eliott. “Daphne probably wouldn’t be into it anyways. She’s pretty possessive.” He says this with a proud puff of his chest. It’s somehow quite endearing.</p><p>“Yeah, she’s the possessive one,” Arthur snorts.</p><p>“You don’t have a drink?” Yann asks quietly while Arthur and Bas continue to squabble in the background.</p><p>Eliott turns his attention to him. “Oh, no. I left it inside.” He shivers, rubbing his bare arms, and thinks the false illusion of alcohol-induced-warmth would be nice right now.</p><p>“Here,” Yann pulls a beer from somewhere beside him, holding it out for Eliott to take.</p><p>“Thanks.” Eliott reaches for it a little surprised, trading smiles with Yann before they both turn back to the conversation that has now devolved to something about who’s got the worst jealousy streak. Eliott has to wonder why he’d been so adamantly avoiding Yann – ok, so a certain perceived jerk-off session at work is at fault for that, Eliott hasn’t actually forgotten – but Yann clearly doesn’t have any intention of humiliating Eliott about it at present, and hanging with all of them is… nice. Relaxing. The polar opposite of the party thumping on the other side of the window he’s pressed against. He shivers again as he tunes into the conversation.</p><p>“That’s ‘cause you’re a manwhore,” Lucas is saying, the comment directed at Arthur.</p><p>“I am not!” Arthur cries, offended.</p><p>“You kind of are,” Bas admits, hands up in defense the moment Arthur rounds on him. “I love you anyways. You’re my best buddy. But you are.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Arthur scoffs, tipping his chin towards Lucas. “You’re just jealous you’re not getting laid.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Lucas snaps back, sounding genuinely irritated now. “I do fine.”</p><p>“Ya, that’s my point,” Arthur continues, fearless in the face of Lucas’s ire. “You do <em>fine</em>. Getting laid by guys who don’t know what they’re doing doesn’t count. It just leaves you a cranky bitch.” Eliott can feel his heart pulse in his throat. But… Lucas said he wasn’t telling anyone. And while their sexual encounters thus far have been far too brief and certainly haven’t presented Eliott at his best… he hasn’t shown ineptitude either. The lack of reciprocation in the on-call room had been Lucas’s choice. A wave of calm washes over Eliott as he realizes what – <em>who</em> they’re speaking about. Jeremy.</p><p>“I haven’t been cranky,” Lucas responds, a little quieter now, as though – reluctant as he might be to admit it, he can’t argue with the truth in Arthur’s words.</p><p>“Nah, you’ve been better this week,” Arthur admits, suddenly grinning. “Far as I know, things didn’t improve with that dude so… something you need to tell us, Lulu?” Lucas doesn’t respond, and Eliott’s eyes land on Lucas’s profile, tracing the cut of his jaw. He wants to bite it. Sink his teeth there… slide lips down until they find his pulse point, beating quickly against the delicate skin of his neck, press his tongue there and suck, leaving the skin marked and red… evidence of Eliott.</p><p>“Speaking of you being a manwhore,” Yann interjects, pulling attention to him, “what I want to know is what happened with that woman from work – the one from the meeting.” It’s an effective distraction – one Eliott is pretty sure was intentional – and Arthur takes the bait, happily delving into a story of his work exploit.</p><p>Eliott drops his eyes to his hands, rubbing them together as he tucks his arms to his body, pulling his bent legs a little closer in a futile attempt to retain some warmth. He should go back inside, if only to retrieve his jacket. But the thought of leaving the comfortable little nook he’s found himself in – or leaving Lucas’s side – holds little appeal.</p><p>“Here,” Lucas’s quiet voice comes from beside him. Eliott turns towards him just in time to see Lucas pulling the blanket away from his own body, spreading it slightly before throwing half of it over Eliott’s legs. He huffs when it falls away, too short to span their bodies and the space between them adequately. “Just… get closer, would you? I can’t deal with your shivering anymore.”</p><p>Warmth rushes through Eliott’s bloodstream so quickly he’s near light-headed with it. He scooches closer, until their sides are separated by a mere whisper of space. Lucas closes the distance as he leans to throw the blanket over Eliott. The sides of their legs, from hip to knee, press together as he fusses. Eliott reaches to help, hand dragging across Lucas’s on the blanket as he helps tuck it around his legs. He tries not to stare but there’s something about Lucas when he’s like this – both sweet and grumpy, ensuring Eliott is tucked in the warmth of the blanket and doing so with a furrowed brow as though he’s entirely put-out by the process. He’s the most frustrating… confusing… beautiful…</p><p>“Can’t believe you came out here like <em>that</em>,” Lucas scoffs, settling back against the window and tucking the blanket up against him once more. His eyes flick over, trailing on Eliott’s arms, still slightly exposed as he holds the beer bottle outside of the blankets. “Could have at least grabbed a jacket.”</p><p>Eliott smiles. Lucas hasn’t separated their point of contact, and the warmth of his body seeps into Eliott. The shared blanket does its part as well, trapping their heat together, leaving Eliott instantly warm and content. “Wasn’t really on my mind. Was more concerned with escaping the peds firing squad,” he banters. Lucas’s gaze is fixed ahead, resting somewhere between Yann and Bas, though it’s clear his focus is not on the other boys’ conversation. “Been noticing my arms, have you?” Eliott will admit to being more than a little satisfied with the way Lucas’s attention immediately swings back to him, eyes narrowed.</p><p>“Well,” his lips press into a mocking smile, “you got all dressed up in your sluttiest get-up… wouldn’t want to disappoint you by not noticing.”</p><p>“My sluttiest get-up?” Eliott laughs, unintentionally raising his voice and catching the other boys’ attention.</p><p>“Who’s slutty?” Bas asks, cutting off whatever other conversation had been occurring.</p><p>“Me apparently,” Eliott chuckles, delighting in the way Lucas rolls his eyes, cheeks having flushed to a rosy pink.</p><p>“Are you then?” Arthur asks curiously, voice free of judgement. </p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Apparently my shirt says I am.”</p><p>“I didn’t say that,” Lucas groans unhappily.</p><p>“You absolutely did,” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“We’re judging sluttiness based on clothing now? Not very progressive of you, Lulu,” Arthur lectures, voice lilted to indicate he’s teasing.</p><p>“I – I wasn’t –” His voice has raised in pitch, matched by the flustered way his hand has emerged from the blanket, fluttering in front of him in protest.</p><p>“I don’t know,” Yann interjects. “Women have been dealing with it since the dawn of time. ‘Bout time dudes got it too.”</p><p>“You’re right,” Arthur agrees with a decisive nod while Bas laughs. “Happy to take that task on myself – though I guess Lucas has a head start.”</p><p>“I swear to god,” Lucas grumbles.</p><p>Arthur ignores him, looking at Eliott speculatively. “Well, I can’t tell with you all bundled up like that.” He motions for Eliott to get up. “C’mon now. Give us a spin.”</p><p>“Are you serious?” Eliott laughs, as Bas adds a <em>do itttttttt</em> to Arthur’s suggestion. Lucas’s eyes have fallen and fixed firmly on the blanket he twists in his hands. “Alright,” Eliott agrees, moving the blanket aside and standing as Lucas’s attention swings back to him. The cold night air is a far more startling contrast to the warmth of his blanket nook with Lucas, and he shivers violently, turning to stand before the boys. He looks to Lucas first, smirk in place and cocks an eyebrow when he sees Lucas’s rest heavily on him, stubborn tilt to his mouth as though he can’t decide whether looking or not looking serves his purposes better.</p><p>“<em>Ohhh</em>,” Arthur crows while Bas <em>whoops</em> in glee. “Well, I don’t know about the shirt, but those nips could cut glass.”</p><p>Eliott blushes, giggling as he presses hands to his chest. “I can’t help it! It’s…” He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. Not when at least Bas thinks he’s cool but… “awfully <em>nippy</em> out tonight.”</p><p>“Nooooo,” the boys chorus in unison, a mix of laughter and groans. Eliott giggles uncontrollably with them, a light, giddy feeling filling him that he’s not used to experiencing outside of his friendship with Idriss and Sofiane.</p><p>“What is this pose, anyways?” Yann laughs, gesturing to where Eliott isn’t actually posing at all. “Weren’t you a model?”</p><p>Basile gasps loudly. “Yeah! Sexy poses! Sexy poses!” He chants, until Lucas manages to land a hard kick to his shin. “Uncalled for!” Bas yells, while Arthur – having apparently had enough of the volume of Bas’s voice – takes to trying to smother him with the jacket covering them.</p><p>Eliott looks away from the scene, to ask Yann, “You remember that?”</p><p>“Of course,” Yann scoffs. “Gave me a complex – knowing I was gonna be working next to a fucking model.”</p><p>Eliott moves a hand up to his hair, pulling through the strands as he bashfully looks away, dropping his eyes to the pavement between them. “Yeah, but… I didn’t even think you were listening when we talked about it that first night.”</p><p>“You think <em>he</em> let me forget it?”</p><p>Eliott looks up in surprise to see that Yann is looking at Lucas, who is shooting daggers with his eyes in return. The corner of Eliott’s lips begin pulling up and he doesn’t try to hide it.</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas says the moment their eyes meet. He quickly – and all too transparently – redirects attention to Yann. “And what about you, Cazas?”</p><p>“What about me?”</p><p>“Don’t think I haven’t seen those moves of yours. Posing in front of that mirror in your room when you think no one’s watching.”</p><p>“You’re usually <em>in </em>my room with me when I do that.”</p><p>“Details, Yann. Details. Let’s see those moves!”</p><p>“Ohhhhh, hell yes!” Arthur joins in, raising his beer in celebration. “Get your beautiful ass up there, Cazas!”</p><p>“Show us what ya mama gave ya!” Bas joins in.</p><p>Eliott laughs, delighted, and offers Yann a hand up. With an aggrieved sigh – though he looks anything but annoyed – Yann grabs Eliott’s forearm and lets himself be pulled to a stand.</p><p>“Any words of advice from the resident model?”</p><p>Eliott grins cheekily. “I always picture everyone else naked.”</p><p>“Ugh.” Yann’s face wrinkles in disgust. “Now I’m gonna be thinking about Bas naked. Thanks for that.”</p><p>“Hey!” Bas cries in offense. “Why’d you single me out?”</p><p>Eliott chuckles as they continue arguing, moving back towards Lucas, smile no doubt dripping satisfaction.</p><p>“Stop it,” Lucas huffs, but holds the blanket up for Eliott to crawl back underneath. Eliott’s smile softens at the sight. He resettles himself next to Lucas, shifting until their sides are pressed together. “Fuck!” Lucas hisses, the moment the skin of Eliott’s arm makes contact with his own. “You’re fucking freezing.” He shivers dramatically, rubbing his arm, and by consequence of their close proximity, rubbing Eliott’s arm in time.</p><p>"I’ll warm up,” Eliott whispers back, though there’s no particular need with how loud the other boys are being. He turns his body until he’s faced towards Lucas, their knees pressed together, staring at Lucas’s profile until the other boy gives in with a sigh, eyes landing on him for only a split second.</p><p>“Stop it,” he repeats.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, already grinning.</p><p>“You know what.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Eliott hums, enjoying the uninterrupted opportunity to simply <em>look. </em>“Guess you weren’t an objective party.”</p><p>That statement confuses Lucas enough to have him turning to look at Eliott, brows pulled together. “What?” Eliott’s eyes drop to Lucas’s lips, an entirely uncontrollable impulse when one find’s themselves in such close proximity to <em>those lips</em>.  But now is <em>not the time, Eliott.</em></p><p>He looks back up into the blue of Lucas’s eyes, offering a slanted smile. “You seem to be the only one affected by what I’m wearing.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, looking away towards the other boys. “I’m not affected.”</p><p>“No?”</p><p>“No.” He turns slightly to point to Eliott’s beer. “Pass me that.” It’s less a question than a demand. Eliott does so wordlessly, watching as Lucas brings the beer to his own lips. He tips his head back as he drinks, throat bobbing as he swallows. A trickle of liquid escapes his mouth, the droplet trailing across his skin, dripping from his jaw to his neck. Eliott follows its path down… down until it comes to a stop just above a mole on his neck. Desire throbs low in Eliott’s belly, and he releases a jagged breath as Lucas’s eyes move back to him. He doesn’t need to say it. Eliott knows. There is no objectivity between them. Lucas isn’t the only one affected. Eliott’s eyes drop back to Lucas’s lips and he wets his own.</p><p>“No one wants to see that, Bas!” Arthur’s voice, loud and abrupt, slices through the delicate thread of tension stretching between them. Lucas's eyes swing away as he turns his head back to face his friends. Eliott moves more slowly, resettling with his back against the glass with his side pressed to Lucas. When Eliott refocuses on the boys, it seems Bas is in the middle of some sort of half-halted strip tease.</p><p>“You gotta give me something to work with,” Bas complains. He gestures towards Eliott. “I don’t have his face. Gotta show a little skin!”</p><p>“I promise, showing skin is not going to help your cause here,” Arthur protests.</p><p>“What is his cause again?” Yann asks. “I’ve forgot why we’re even doing this.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, shifting down slightly and tucking his arms under the blanket. Lucas is tense at this side, muscles locked and breath coming heavy and deep. Eliott brushes his knuckles against Lucas’s knee.</p><p>“I’m proving I’m the sexiest,” Bas insists, stretching the collar of his shirt down to reveal the skin of one shoulder while wiggling his eyebrows ridiculously at Arthur.</p><p>“I don’t remember those being the terms of the competition,” Arthur laughs.</p><p>“Is this a competition?” Yann asks as he eyes Bas skeptically. “‘Cause if it is, we’ve all lost. No one’s competing against him.” He gestures towards Eliott, though none of the boys turn to look at him. Eliott would be flattered if not for the fact that he’s finding himself more than a little distracted by the boy at his side. He turns his hand under the blanket, spreading the warmth of his palm across Lucas’s knee, hyperaware of Lucas’s every breath, every twitch, any indication he might pull away. But he doesn’t. In fact, his muscles relax, and he leans more heavily into Eliott’s side.</p><p>“But this is an amateur competition,” Bas argues.</p><p>“I’ll say,” Arthur scoffs.</p><p>Bas ignores him. “We can’t allow professionals to compete.”  </p><p>Eliott tilts his head slightly towards Lucas, keeping his voice low. “When did I agree to compete?”</p><p>Lucas laughs softly. “The second you stood up and let them ogle you instead of telling them to fuck off.”</p><p>“<em>Ogle </em>me?” Eliott chuckles, he throws a teasing inflection into his tone. “Well, my word, how scandalous.”</p><p>“Shut up.” Lucas presses into their contact, shoving his shoulder into Eliott’s in what is likely meant to resemble a physical rebuttal, but instead feels a lot more like an equally teasing nudge. He leaves it there, with them closely tucked together.</p><p>“I don’t think I will.”</p><p>They’re flirting. Eliott isn’t reading this wrong. He knows he isn’t. They’re flirting. They’re sharing a blanket and touching and <em>being nice to one another</em>. They’re <em>flirting</em>.</p><p>He traces the seam of Lucas’s jeans at his knee, a gentle trailing of his fingers back and forth, relishing in the way every touch seems to have Lucas melting into his side even more. He’s soft and warm, and all Eliott wants to do is wrap his arms around him. For now, his fingertips against Lucas’s clothed knee will have to do.</p><p>The door to the balcony is suddenly sliding open. Bas pauses mid… shimmy? Eliott’s going to call it a shimmy… and they all fall silent, turning to look at the newcomer. She steps out onto the balcony hesitantly and it takes Eliott a moment to realize he knows her. Anna. And then another moment to realize this will perhaps not work in Eliott’s favour.</p><p>“Hey,” she greets, eyes moving immediately to Eliott, “there you are.” Eliott’s hand falls from Lucas’s knee as it’s pulled away, his side abruptly bereft of the warmth of Lucas’s body, and he silently curses Anna’s timing. To her credit, she does look apologetic, eyes moving quickly to Lucas before landing back on Eliott.</p><p>“Hi.” Eliott offers a slight, if confused, smile. “Is everything ok?”</p><p>“Hold on,” Bas’s voice suddenly interrupts, loud and abrupt, “aren’t <em>you</em> Anna? You’re here tonight?! But I thought –” Yann’s fist landing directly in Bas’s gut effectively cuts off what was about to be a very ill-timed comment. Eliott’s going to have to remember to thank Yann later.</p><p>Anna looks at Bas oddly before returning her attention to Eliott. “It’s Idriss. He’s pretty wasted. Sofiane asked me to come find you.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott sighs. He turns to look at Lucas, but the other boy’s eyes are back focused on his hands on the blanket. It’s like Eliott just watched his own progress slide backwards. “I guess I better…” Lucas offers a small shrug but says nothing. With another sigh, filled with regret this time, Eliott moves the blankets from his body, crouching as he resettles them tucked against Lucas’s side. “Here.” When he looks back up, Lucas’s are on him.</p><p>“Thanks,” he whispers, offering a small smile, tentative but there.</p><p>“You’re welcome,” Eliott whispers back, aching with the desire to settle back beside Lucas, to pull him back to Eliott’s side… to not let go. Instead, he stands, offering the other boys a parting wave. “Thanks for letting me crash.”</p><p>“Of course,” Yann responds with a quick nod and smile.</p><p>“Ya,” Bas adds, “you’re way nicer to look at than Lucas.”</p><p>This leads to Lucas throwing a few choice words Bas’s direction, and a new round of smack-talk beginning. Eliott chuckles, turning to Anna. She mouths a <em>sorry</em>. Eliott shakes his head – it’s not her fault after all – and motions for her to lead the way back into the apartment. To his surprise, there are far fewer people present. Eliott doesn’t think he was out on the balcony that long and it’s still relatively early in the evening, but a quick perusal of the room tells him that Alex and Emma are nowhere to be found, likely having retreated to Emma’s bedroom. And with Yann and Lucas on the balcony, Eliott supposes one’s welcome at a party would feel a lot more tenuous with none of the hosts present. He wonders if he should let Yann and Lucas know that’s the case but is diverted from the thought by the sight of Sofiane trying to pull Idriss to a stand from his sprawled position on one of the plush chairs.</p><p>“Here,” he offers, moving to Sofiane’s side and taking Idriss’s other arm.</p><p>“Oh, finally,” Sofiane sighs in relief. “I couldn’t find you and he’s like a sack of bricks.”</p><p>“M’not,” Idriss complains, doing little to help in the process of bringing him to a stand.</p><p>“Sorry,” Eliott apologizes to Sofiane. “I was on the balcony with –” He was going to say <em>friends</em>. But are they? Is Lucas? Eliott is surprised to realize he’d like them all to be. “How did he get this way, anyways? I wasn’t even gone that long.”</p><p>“Long enough.” Sofiane pulls one of Idriss’s arms around his shoulders as Eliott does the same. “He went hard from the start.”</p><p>“I can see that,” Eliott groans. “Idriss,” he jostles Idriss’s body with his other hand, “get your legs under you and stand, you asshole. We’re not carrying your entire weight out of here.”</p><p>“I am,” Idriss slurs, and while he absolutely <em>wasn’t</em>, he does so now, taking some of the burden of his weight off Sofiane and Eliott, wobbling slightly between them.</p><p>“Get ‘im outside and call an Uber?” Sofiane asks.</p><p>Eliott grunts in agreement, too busy holding Idriss upright to speak in complete sentences. He can’t do much more than offer Anna a quick eye roll and smile in parting, which she returns as she hands him his coat, and the trio of friends make their way from the apartment. It’s a battle to get Idriss down and out of the building, but the moment they walk outside, he instantly straightens, arms dropping from Sofiane and Eliott’s shoulders as he sucks in a deep lungful of the cold night air.</p><p>“Idriss!” Eliott yelps as Idriss stumbles moving to go down the steps to the street. He latches to Idriss’s shoulder before watching him tumble headfirst onto the cement. “Jesus. Chill, would you?” He looks to Sofiane. “Get him? I’m gonna order the Uber.” Sofiane nods, taking Idriss’s arm.</p><p>“I’m fine,” Idriss complains, but allows Sofiane to manhandle him to a seat on the front steps, as Eliott pulls on his jacket, retrieving his phone.</p><p>“I’m sorry.”</p><p>Eliott looks up from his phone where he’s made quick work of ordering them a car, to see Idriss looking at him woefully.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, confused.</p><p>“Sof –” Idriss is cut off by a violent hiccup. “Sof said I was – I was being a dick.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “It’s fine, Idri.”</p><p>“<em>Noooo</em>,” he whines and if Eliott isn’t seeing things, it looks like he might just be tearing up. God help them. Idriss always gets emotional after the initial buzz of his drunkenness wears off. “I was obnot – obnock – obnox –”</p><p>“Obnoxious,” Sofiane finishes for him with an amused grin, taking a seat next to Idriss and slapping a hand to his back.</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss agrees, looking up at Eliott pitifully.</p><p>Eliott tries not to laugh, looking down at Idriss with as much gravity as he can manage given the ridiculous circumstances. “I’ve dealt with worse.” Idriss doesn’t look in the least bit mollified by this, eyes positively stricken. “Really. You were fine, Idri,” Eliott adds, with a slight laugh he can’t help. “A little obnoxious, yeah. But nothing out of the ordinary.” He means it in jest but at the distress on Idriss’s face, he takes a seat next to him, throwing an arm around Idriss’s shoulders. “What’s up with you tonight?”</p><p>“I really like her.” It’s said so quietly, Eliott has to exchange a quick look with Sofiane before responding to ensure he heard the same thing.</p><p>“Manon?” Eliott asks. Idriss makes a sound resembling that of a wounded animal. Eliott exchanges a quick, amused look with Sofiane. They’ve definitely reached overly emotional post-drunken-high Idriss. “We sort of already knew that, buddy.”</p><p>“Idri, man,” Sofiane adds, “it’s ok that you like Manon – good even. You know that, right?”</p><p>“No,” Idriss disagrees, “you guys don’t get it.”</p><p>Eliott takes a deep breath, recognizing that this is important to Idriss but is likely going to be a challenging conversation to navigate given his drunken state. “Ok,” he begins cautiously, “can you explain it to us?”</p><p>“You’re just…” Idriss flaps a hand in Eliott’s direction, “with your model looks and brain surgeon… brain… and… and you’re all sweet and nice.” Eliott can’t help but be quite touched by this drunken assessment and rubs affectionately at Idriss’s back. “And <em>you</em>.” Idriss rounds on Sofiane. “You’re even nicer. And you’re so talented with your dancing – all the kids at the centre worship you. And you and my sister have been in love since we were kids and…” He makes an aggravated sound. “How am I supposed to compete with that?”</p><p>Eliott scrunches his nose in confusion. “You’re not, Idri. You’re not competing with either of us. Definitely not for Manon.”</p><p>“No, but – but she’s like you guys,” Idriss continues. “She’s so smart, and so beautiful, and…” He trails off, staring out into the empty, dark street.</p><p>“And what?” Eliott prompts.</p><p>Idriss’s hangs his head, voice quiet. “I’m just me.”</p><p>Eliott’s heart instantly aches. He empathizes with this particular sentiment more than Idriss or Sofiane could possibly ever understand. “Idriss,” he says, keeping his voice gentle and sympathetic, “Manon would be lucky to be with someone like you.” He means every word. “You’re brilliant and interesting and kind.”</p><p>“Pretty funny too,” Sofiane adds with a grin.</p><p>“Not bad on the eyes either,” Eliott finishes, squeezing Idriss closer.</p><p>“But she’s… this important person… she works for the – that place…”</p><p>“The U.N.,” Eliott gently provides, to which Idriss nods miserably.</p><p>“I’m just a nurse. She'd never go for me.”</p><p>The shock of the words hits Eliott like a slap to the face. He remembers them all too well. He remembers saying some of them. For one reason. Lucas. Lucas who had said Manon would never go for Idriss – who had implied why. He hadn’t thought Idriss had taken him that seriously – it certainly hadn’t stopped him in his pursuit of Manon. Apparently, that hadn’t been true. Accompanying the memory is a surge of anger Eliott hasn’t felt – not like this and not directed at Lucas in what feels like more time than it has been in actuality. It’s something he’s allowed himself to forget – given himself <em>permission </em>to forget, because he wanted to – because he <em>wanted </em>Lucas. With the revelation comes shame.</p><p>Sofiane speaks before Eliott is able to formulate any words of comfort. “Don’t give me that,” he says, bringing a hand to grip the back of Idriss’s neck, “you think I don’t feel the same being with your sister?”</p><p>“It’s not the same –”</p><p>“It <em>is</em> the same,” Sofiane cuts him off. “Imane’s the most brilliant person I’ve ever known. She’s light-years out of my league. I always knew that. But that has nothing to do with her job – how much money she makes or what her title might be. And you think it’s going to stop me from loving her? Wanting to be with her?”</p><p>Idriss is looking at Sofiane now, eyes bleary but attention focused. “Don’t you worry?” He asks. “That she’ll realize – or find something – some<em>one</em> else?”</p><p>Sofiane shrugs, looking far more relaxed than Eliott would be should these questions have been directed at him. “That’s not love, is it? Waiting for something better. You love someone, you see the best in them. Imane sees things in me – believes in me – like I do her.” He smiles, eyes moving between Idriss and Eliott. “And I have a lifetime to prove myself worthy of her.” Eliott drops his eyes to the pavement as he ruminates on Sofiane’s words.</p><p>“That was beautiful, man!” Idriss suddenly cries, flopping sideways into Sofiane’s arms. “I’m so glad you’re my bro.” Sofiane chuckles, patting at Idriss’s back. Eliott smiles at the saccharine picture they make, when their Uber pulls up to the curb in front of them.</p><p>Together they manage to pour Idriss into the backseat. His maudlin mood having shifted from his insecurities with regards to Manon, to telling them both he loves them in an increasingly dramatic manner. He’s currently in the midst of his third round of <em>“No, but really, I love you guys,”</em> when Eliott’s phone buzzes in his pocket. He’s shocked to see Lucas’s name on the notification and quickly opens the message.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>Is Idriss ok?</em> </strong>
</p><p>Eliott frowns. <em>No thanks to you</em>. It’s not a fair reaction, nor would it be a fair response. He can’t help but think it, however – think about how Lucas put that insidious idea in Idriss’s head. And no, he alone is not responsible for Idriss’s insecurities, but he sure as hell didn’t help.</p><p><em>He’s fine</em>. <em>We’re taking him home. </em></p><p>Succinct and to the point but not rude. Lucas doesn’t deserve his animosity without explanation. He’ll talk to him about it in person when he next sees him at the hospital. He’ll be mature and reasonable and point out the negative impact of Lucas’s careless words. Like adults do. There’s no need to carry on the conversation, but Eliott stares down at his phone, watching until the 'seen' appears beneath his message but nothing else.</p><p>He considers what the type back for a moment before sending: <em>Are people still partying? </em></p><p>Lucas writes back immediately: <strong><em>We kicked them all out after you guys left. </em></strong></p><p>Eliott smiles despite himself, a little flattered at the thought that Lucas ended the party when Eliott left – despite no real evidence the two events are correlated. The car is pulling up to the curb of Sofiane and Idriss’s building before Eliott can formulate a reply, and he tucks his phone back in his pocket for the time being as he helps drag an increasingly sleepy Idriss from the car. Eliott thanks the driver, slamming the door shut. As he turns back to Sofiane and Idriss, his phone buzzes again in his pocket. Struck by an immediate and irresistible need to see what Lucas has written, Eliott pulls it out as he trails behind his two friends currently wobbling towards the building.</p><p>
  <strong> <em>You left your sweatshirt. </em> </strong>
</p><p>Eliott stares at the message, feet dragging to a stop. He hadn’t been wearing a sweatshirt. Lucas knows he wasn’t wearing a sweatshirt. Lucas <em>very particularly </em>paid attention to what Eliott was wearing. He considers this for a moment before typing back a vague: <em>Did I? </em></p><p>Lucas answers immediately: <strong><em>Do you want to come get it? </em></strong></p><p>Eliott goggles at the message when Sofiane calls out to him from the door into the building.</p><p>“Eli, you coming or what?”</p><p>Eliott’s intention had been to spend the night on their couch but… He glances back. The Uber is still sitting at the curb as the driver reads messages on his phone. Eliott looks back down to the message glowing on his phone screen. It’s an invitation.</p><p>“Uh, I forgot my sweatshirt at the party,” he shouts back to Sofiane. “I’m gonna catch a ride back.”</p><p>Sofiane’s brows pull together but he’s too distracted by Idriss swaying beside him to question the explanation further. “You still going to come back here to crash?” He calls back.</p><p>“No.” Eliott shakes his head, jogging back to the car and knocking on the window to alert the driver to his presence. “I’ll head home after. Take care of Idri.”</p><p>“Love you Eli!!!” Idriss yells in a direction entirely opposite of Eliott’s current position.</p><p>Eliott chuckles, opening the passenger door of the vehicle. “Love you too.” He looks to Sofiane. “Take care of him?”</p><p>Sofiane nods and with a salute of his hand, turns to lead Idriss into the building. Eliott collapses into the passenger seat, looking to the driver.</p><p>“Wouldn’t mind taking me back to the place we just came from, would you? I forgot something.”</p><p>
  <em>On my way.</em>
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>He tries not to overthink on the way back to Lucas’s place, engaging the driver in a conversation about the weather neither of them seems particularly interested in but they commit to in equal excruciating measure. And he doesn’t think as he re-enters the building and makes his way back to Lucas’s floor, then down the hall until he reaches his apartment door.</p><p>It’s not true though. It’s not accurate to say he doesn’t think. Eliott thinks. He thinks too much. There are a flurry of thoughts bombarding his brain like a summer storm, volatile and unpredictable. He merely refuses to focus on any long enough for them to find form. Instead they rumble like distant thunder, and he lets the words that form alongside be carried away by wild winds, casualties of the building storm. That is… that is until he texts Lucas to say he’s arrived, and the door opens to Lucas’s face, guileless and maybe a little nervous.</p><p>“Hey,” he whispers. The others must have gone to bed. He bites his lower lip, eyes dropping before looking back up with one slow blink. He’s…</p><p>Lightning strikes.</p><p>“Your words have consequences, you know.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, taken aback.</p><p>Eliott plows forward. “What you said to Idriss that day, about how Manon would never be into him? You can’t say something like that and expect it to have no impact. He took that to heart. It <em>hurt </em>him.”</p><p>“I–” Lucas’s mouth parts in surprise. “I didn’t – I didn’t realize. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him.” It’s a more transparently honest reply than Eliott would have expected. There’s no hostility in his tone. He looks genuinely taken aback and remorseful. He’s thrown a sweatshirt over the t-shirt he wore at the party and changed into sweatpants. ‘Romance’ is written across his chest. He looks young and uncertain and… so very soft.</p><p>“You have my sweatshirt?” Eliott can hear the strain in his own voice, and it has the causal effect of making him sound more curt than he intended, abrupt and bordering on rude.</p><p>“Oh.” Lucas blinks. “Um.” He looks around them as though the non-existent sweatshirt will materialize from thin air. “I think it’s–”</p><p>Eliott lunges forward, wrapping one arm around Lucas’s back and the other to his jaw, he pulls him into a hard kiss. Lucas is only stiff with surprise for a second before he responds. He makes a desperate sound against Eliott’s lip, melting into the kiss as he wraps arms tightly around Eliott’s neck. Eliott backs him further into the apartment, letting the door click shut behind him. Lucas’s hands move up, threading through Eliott’s hair and tugging him harshly down. Eliott moves both hands to Lucas’s jaw, holding him steady as he controls the kiss, pulls Lucas closer, like he’d been wanting to do from the moment he saw Lucas that evening, staring at Eliott open-mouthed in the kitchen. Maybe even before that. Maybe even always.</p><p>Lucas makes another sound as Eliott presses his tongue into his mouth, a needy whine caught high in his throat. And <em>god</em>, Eliott loves it – loves the way Lucas feels, the way he sounds… the way his hands tighten in the strands of Eliott’s hair, the way he chases Eliott’s tongue, teeth scraping across lips in his desperation to get closer – <em>more</em>. He whispers it against Eliott’s lips.</p><p>“More. More. Eliott. <em>More.</em>” And <em>that</em> Eliott can do.</p><p>He moves his lips across Lucas’s cheek, pressing a kiss to his jaw, and then back, against Lucas’s ear.</p><p>“Lucas, your room.” But Lucas only buries his face into Eliott’s throat. “Lucas,” Eliott repeats, moving a hand to Lucas’s hair, he scratches nails over his scalp, a gentle suggestion, and Lucas shudders against him.</p><p>He suddenly pulls back, turning swiftly, taking Eliott’s hand and leading the way through the dimly lit apartment to an open door in the hallway and then into his bedroom. A light next to the bed is already on and his room is a charmingly rumpled mess, as though despite the expectation of company, Lucas couldn’t bring himself to truly tidy. Eliott release’s Lucas’s hand and walks further into the room, unable to stop himself from curiously taking stock. There’s a pile of clothes thrown haphazardly onto a desk chair, and various shoes and electronic items piled into a precarious pile in one corner. His desk itself is a mess of papers, notebooks, and… what looks to be a number of comic books. Eliott glances back at Lucas with an eyebrow raised.</p><p>“They’re Arthur’s,” Lucas claims quickly.</p><p>“Really?” Eliott grins, lifting one, already left open to a particularly aesthetically pleasing page.</p><p>“Yes.” There’s a stubborn tilt to his mouth and he crosses his arms against his chest where he leans back against his now-closed bedroom door. He’s adorable.</p><p>“So, it has nothing to do with the abs on Gambit then?” Eliott lifts the book to show off the page it was left on.</p><p>Lucas huffs. “No. I was just – wait –” His eyes light up with mischievous. “How do <em>you</em> know Gambit?”</p><p>It’s Eliott’s turn to roll his eyes. “Comic books are a part of popular culture, you know.”</p><p>“Un hunh.”</p><p>“And Sofiane’s into them.”</p><p>“Un hunh.” The smile on his face is growing and there’s something incredibly infectious about a genuine smile from Lucas.</p><p>Eliott returns it. “I like the artwork.”</p><p>“Oh, sure. The artwork.”</p><p>Eliott grins, admitting, “And Gambit’s hot.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees with a laugh, biting his lower lip in what Eliott is pretty sure is a deliberately teasing move.</p><p>Eliott looks away, taking a steadying breath as he drops the comic book back to the desk. “Sof says I kind of look like him.”</p><p>“What?!”</p><p>Eliott looks back to Lucas, surprised by the shrill and immediate defense in his tone. “Wha–”</p><p>“That’s not why I – Arthur just left that here – I wasn’t – it’s not because – it’s not ‘cause I think he looks like you.” It honestly hadn’t occurred to Eliott that Lucas had the comic book for that reason – well… not until <em>now</em>. He feels the corners of his mouth pull up in a wolfish grin as the apples of Lucas’s cheeks darken to a very telling pink. Lucas scowls and the effect of his frown paired with flushed face is no less intoxicating. “Shut up.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, as he advances on Lucas. “I don’t believe I was the one talking.”</p><p>Lucas’s arms drop to his sides as Eliott gets closer. He swallows, eyes landing on Eliott’s lips. “You didn’t need to.” His voice has dropped to a near whisper, but his attitude remains. “I know what you’re thinking.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott hums, moving one hand to press up against the door next to Lucas’s head as he leans in, stopping with their faces separated by a mere breath. “What am I thinking?”</p><p>Lucas licks his lips and it takes everything in Eliott not to replace Lucas’s tongue with his own. “Annoying things.”</p><p>The answer startles another laugh out of Eliott, and Lucas, obviously pleased, meets his eyes with a small smile of his own. “Future surgeon, are you?” Eliott teases. “Not very eloquent.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “You’re the one always doing the talking.” He’s not wrong.</p><p>Eliott brings his other hand to Lucas’s waist, fingertips trailing under the cotton of Lucas’s sweatshirt and t-shirt layered underneath until they connect with skin just above the waist of his sweatpants. Lucas shivers, mouth parting and eyes losing focus for a moment. Eliott leans down, stopping just before their lips touch. He looks into the blue of Lucas’s eyes, blurred by their nearness.</p><p>“I think you like when I talk.”</p><p>“God, shut up.” Lucas’s arms move around Eliott’s neck and he pulls Eliott’s laughing mouth down to meet his own. Neither of them can stop smiling and their teeth clack together. Eliott laughs again, breath a hot puff against Lucas’s lips. “Stop fucking laughing and kiss me,” Lucas demands, nipping at Eliott’s lower lip. And well… Eliott can take direction on occasion.</p><p>He presses down hard this time, opening his mouth and immediately drawing Lucas into a kiss, too hot and wet and desperate to be leading anywhere but to mutual satisfaction. Lucas doesn’t retreat in the face of the onslaught, tongue meeting Eliott’s as he pushes up onto his toes, making a frustrated sound when it’s not enough. It’s like he’s trying to crawl onto Eliott – an impossibility with them standing, but Eliott can change that. He wraps both arms tight around Lucas’s back and lifts slightly, intending on swinging Lucas around and walking them to the bed. Only… Lucas interprets this differently and <em>jumps, </em>bringing both legs up to wrap around Eliott’s waist. And Eliott would have been so onboard with that idea if it had been something he’d expected. Instead, he’s thrown off balance in his surprise.</p><p>Lucas’s mouth pulls away from his own and he squeaks in surprise as Eliott stumbles back. And Eliott tries to catch himself – he <em>does </em>– but the only thing to hold onto is Lucas. And so, he falls, clutching Lucas to him in the hopes he’ll absorb the impact and Lucas will be cushioned on his body. He lands with a hard thump on his butt before he fully absorbs the weight of Lucas’s body and flattens with his back to the floor. There’s an extended pause and then Lucas is pushing up with hands to Eliott’s chest. His eyes are wide and his mouth parted in shock.</p><p>“Well,” Eliott groans, loosening his tight grip to Lucas’s waist and rubbing there gently instead, “this feels familiar.” He braces himself for what he’s sure will be a colourful telling off by the prickly boy currently resting atop his stomach but then…</p><p>Lucas makes a small noise… it sounds almost like a… hiccup? And then, just as abruptly, he’s laughing. No – giggling. His whole face transforms as he presses a hand to his mouth and tries to contain it. But it’s no use. And he’s… <em>so fucking cute</em>. Eliott has made him laugh like this maybe only twice before. When Lucas learned of Fifi, and… the thing with the M&amp;Ms. It would seem Eliott making an idiot out of himself is the key to Lucas’s funny bone. He doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to making Lucas laugh like this – happy and carefree and… sexy. It’s somehow incredibly cute and so very, <em>very </em>sexy all at once. The Lucas paradox.</p><p>Eliott pulls at the bottom of Lucas’s sweatshirt, returning his fingertips to the soft skin underneath, and Lucas’s laughter halts on a surprised inhale. He stares at Eliott for another moment before he’s reaching down and pulling off his sweatshirt and t-shirt in one fluid movement. He holds the material clutched in his hands, looking uncharacteristically uncertain. Eliott runs his eyes down Lucas’s body, over the soft skin of his chest, dotted by the occasional mole, down to his abs, compressed by their current position, over to the colour decorating his arm. His tattoo looks different every time Eliott sees it, and it occurs to Eliott how cool it would be if it changed colours based on Lucas’s feelings… like a mood ring… it would make predicting Lucas’s moods a whole lot easier. Eliott smiles at the silly thought, looking back up to Lucas’s face. Lucas is watching him, cautious and a little reserved. And if it’s a bolstering of his ego he needs… as surprising as that might be… Eliott is happy to provide.</p><p>“You’re so fucking hot.”</p><p>Lucas flushes instantly, and with his upper half bare, Eliott can see the blush extends down to his chest.</p><p>“I know.” Lucas tilts his chin stubbornly, determined to appear confident and in control even when his body gives him away. Eliott has to admire that. He reaches for the clothing in Lucas’s hands, tugging until Lucas releases and tucks his hands back to his own body.</p><p>Eliott cocks an eyebrow, “You should,” and flings the items away from them. In what is becoming a comedy of errors, the sweatshirt hits a framed photo on the desk and sends it clattering to the ground with a smash that is most certainly an indication of broken glass. Eliott winces, looking back to Lucas apologetically. “Sorry.”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, thankfully looking more amused than upset. “You have to be the biggest klutz I’ve ever met. How’d they give you a surgical internship?”</p><p>Eliott grins. “I’m good with my hands.”</p><p>“Believe it when I see it,” Lucas quips, all adorable sass and attitude.</p><p>Eliott licks his lips, dropping his gaze to the waistband of Lucas’s sweats. He trails a finger just underneath the cinched material and watches as Lucas sucks in his stomach on a breath. “Good with my mouth too.”</p><p>“Oh – oh yeah?” Lucas stutters, breath already coming faster.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Eliott hums, moving his finger back on top of the cotton of the pants and then down, delicately tracing the material until he finds… <em>there</em>… Lucas’s cock, plump beneath the material and thickening further under the attention. Lucas inhales, catching a sound in his throat. “I think I told you I had something to prove…”</p><p>“That was –” Lucas cuts off with a sharp breath as Eliott runs his finger down the outline of his cock, more and more apparent as it stretches the cotton. “That was about your – your stamina. Not mine.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, a low rumble in his chest, and Lucas responds by falling slightly forward, catching himself with a hand to Eliott’s ribcage as he bites his lip. His hips jerk a little, as though to push up into Eliott’s awaiting hand. And he’s so… openly affected… so unabashed in the way he’s responding… more than Eliott ever would have expected. <em>God</em>, he wants to do so many things to Lucas. He wants to make him feel so much – <em>so</em> good. For now, he’ll settle with… “Do you think you’ll be any better?” He lets the words roll out deep from his belly and watches the way Lucas’s eyes flutter at the sensation. “When I get my mouth on you? When I suck you off?” Lucas’s mouth has parted as he pants, staring down at Eliott with wide eyes. Eliott smiles, just a little smug with it. “I don’t think you will.”</p><p>A loud knock sounds on Lucas’s bedroom door. Eliott startles so badly he nearly knocks Lucas off him entirely. Lucas tightens his thighs just in time to avoid being thrown off as Eliott sits up abruptly. He slaps a hand to Eliott’s mouth, miming with frantic motions and wide eyes to stay quiet. Eliott’s movement has unintentionally knocked Lucas off his stomach and into his lap, and he is suddenly grateful for the firm hand across his mouth which somewhat muffles the way he groans. Lucas shoots him a look like murder before calling to the door.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Lucas?” It’s Yann’s voice coming through the door. “You ok? Sounded like you were either being murdered or building furniture.”</p><p>Eliott snickers and Lucas’s hand presses down more firmly, and well, Eliott’s had about enough of that. He reaches to pry Lucas’s hand off, grinning as Lucas glares at him while he answers.</p><p>“Yeah! I’m fine. Sorry. I just knocked over a couple things.”</p><p>Eliott, with a grip still firm to Lucas’s hand, pulls it towards his mouth, brushing his lips against the fingertips. Lucas’s eyes whip back to him, but he doesn’t pull his hand away, instead watching with keen interest.</p><p>“Knocked over a couple things? Sounded like you knocked over a grown man.” Eliott flicks an eyebrow at that and Lucas responds by rolling his eyes as Yann continues, “If you’re murdering someone in there, I can help. You’ll never get away with it on your own.”</p><p>“Fuck off. I could too!” Lucas calls back, giving Eliott a pointed look as though this comment is meant for him. It only makes Eliott smile wider. “And I’m fine. Really.”  </p><p>“Alright. You’re sure?”</p><p>Eliott licks around Lucas’s index finger before pulling it into his mouth, sucking on the digit in a way that’s a little lowbrow porn for him but effective, as Lucas stumbles over his words.</p><p>“I’m su – sure. Night, Yann.” It’s a definitive ‘go away’ spoken in kinder words and Yann takes the hint.</p><p>“Alright. I’m down the hall if you need me.”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Lucas calls back, visibly distracted as he watches his own finger emerge from Eliott’s mouth, glistening with spit.</p><p>“He didn’t sound like he believed you,” Eliott whispers.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes are on Eliott’s lips and it’s a moment before the words seem to filter through to his brain. He blinks heavily. “Oh, no – he – uh – he was just waiting to see if I said the word.”</p><p>This captures Eliott’s interest and he presses Lucas’s hand to his chest as he gives Lucas his full attention. “What word?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, looking a little embarrassed now. “Like… a code word. In case I’m with a guy and…”</p><p>“You need him to come charging in here and tear me off you?”</p><p>Lucas scoffs. “He’d never need to do that with you. You wouldn’t hurt a fly.” Eliott is startled into silence by that. Lucas says it like it’s a given – like he’s absolutely <em>certain</em> Eliott would never hurt him. And it’s true – of course it’s true – and yet, Lucas knowing that leaves Eliott incomparably touched. “It’s just in case… I don’t know,” Lucas continues, and Eliott shakes himself out of his stupor, giving Lucas his attention, “nothing serious… just, if there’s a guy I need to get rid of or something and I’m being too nice to tell him to leave. Yann will come up with an excuse or something.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow. “You? Too nice?”</p><p>Lucas shoves at his chest but it’s performative, barely any pressure applied at all. “It’s different with you,” he huffs. “Don’t mind telling you off at all.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, pulling Lucas slightly closer as he runs hands up his bare back, enjoying his first opportunity to truly feel this skin beneath his hands. “You do have a talent for it.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas doesn’t sound like he’s responding to the topic at hand at all anymore, voice breathy as he shivers under Eliott’s attentions. His voice is a soft whisper now. “That’s ‘cause you’re really annoying.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, leaning forward to press a kiss to Lucas’s chest. “People tell me I’m quite charming.” He speaks the words across the soft skin he finds there, enjoying the way it makes Lucas tremble.</p><p>“People are lying,” Lucas retorts, and then his hand is in Eliott’s hair, drawing him back with a sharp tug and reconnecting their lips. Eliott melts into the kiss, letting Lucas control the pace as he grips Eliott’s head tightly. He slants their lips together, mouth soft and eager, and Eliott happily gives himself over to it. There’s something unpracticed about the way Lucas kisses, like he’s not used to being in control – or perhaps it’s that he’s not entirely sure what he likes – he kisses like he’s still figuring it out. There’s an earnestness to the way he pulls back as though to check Eliott is still enjoying himself before he dives back in, a youthful playfulness to the way he dips his tongue into Eliott’s mouth, daring Eliott to give chase, a thrumming excitement in the way his hands tighten in Eliott’s hair when he’s pleased – when Eliott is responding as he wants. He separates only when the need for oxygen becomes too great. Even then he keeps his face close as he gasps for air, brushing their lips together with eyes closed. “Eliott.” It unclear whether he even realizes he’s spoken out loud. The sound of Eliott’s name on his tongue, whisper soft and needy, sends a pulse of desire shuddering through Eliott’s body.</p><p>“Are you going to get off?” Eliott asks, just as gently.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes open. He looks shocked and there’s renewed colour in his cheeks. “I – I want – yes, I want to.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows pull together, only realizing how Lucas interpreted his question when he makes no moves to get up. Eliott chuckles, leaning forward to press a kiss to the corner of Lucas’s mouth. “I meant,” he moves to the other side of his mouth, leaving a kiss there too, “are you going to get up,” a kiss to the tip of his nose now, “and onto the bed?” He finishes with a kiss to the prominent bow of Lucas’s mouth, leaning back with an amused smile. “This floor is <em>not</em> working for me.”</p><p>“Oh.” Lucas giggles, slipping sideways off Eliott and rising to a stand. He bites his lip as he watches Eliott do the same, eyes dropping to the front of Eliott’s jeans. Eliott doesn’t need to look down to know the picture he makes. He’d worn these jeans strategically after all – they leave very little to the imagination. And while they’re no doubt serving their purpose, at this point, he can only think about taking them off.</p><p>He strips himself quickly of his coat, dropping it carefully on the floor – he has <em>no </em>desire to be interrupted by Yann again. He reaches for the bottom of his shirt, quickly ridding himself of that too. He looks to Lucas as he unclasps the button on his jeans, unzipping the pants, and sighing happily when even that offers his throbbing dick relief. He stops there, hands resting on the waist of his jeans as he looks to Lucas with eyebrow raised.</p><p>Lucas swallows and reaches for the waist of his own pants. He pushes both his sweats and briefs down in one quick movement, kicking them away. And then he stands there… naked and turned on, erection jutting from his body, and chest rising and falling with his affected breaths. Unlike Eliott, who has a number of small tattoos decorating his body, Lucas only has the tattoo marking his one arm, the rest of him is unmarked. It’s a visual representation of the dichotomy he makes, soft and hard, expressive and blank, hidden and exposed, a mystery and everything Eliott knows… and there’s so much more Eliott wants to find out.</p><p>Eliott reaches for his waistband. Lucas is pushing back into his space before Eliott’s even get his pants and briefs to his ankles. But he’s always been an excellent multi-tasker. He wraps an arm around Lucas, letting him press their bodies together, as he turns them towards the bed. He gets slightly tangled kicking his pants off one ankle and collapses on top of Lucas on the bed in a less graceful manner than he intended, but that hardly matters when Lucas is reaching up to pull him down, moaning happily as Eliott settles between his legs.</p><p>They spend time simply kissing. Pressed together naked and hard as they are, it should be unsurprising it feels as good as it does, but there’s something different about kissing Lucas. Eliott could do it forever. It’s a shocking thought and hits Eliott with such intensity, he has to pull his face away. He buries it in Lucas’s neck instead, pressing kisses to the soft skin he finds there as he tries to catch his breath. He can’t be thinking in forever terms. Not when they’re barely even… friends… when they’re barely even anything. He concentrates on the rhythm of Lucas’s breaths beneath him, scraping teeth against the tendon at the side of Lucas’s neck. Lucas’s nails dig into his back in response and he arches up with a desperate keening noise. Eliott does it again, moving to grind into Lucas when he arches up this time. Their cocks slide together, already wet with precum, and Lucas makes an even louder noise, too unrestrained and desperate to be called a moan. Eliott muffles himself in the skin of Lucas’s neck. He wants to mark him up – wants to suck on the delicate skin until it’s red and bruised. He knows better – knows he can’t leave Lucas with obvious hickeys he won’t be able to cover at work the following day but <em>god</em>, he really wants to. He hasn’t had a desire to leave a hickey on someone since highschool, when branding someone yours with the mark of a hickey was the peak of teenage culture. It’s a bizarre but overbearing impulse.</p><p>Eliott drags his lips down to Lucas’s chest instead. Lucas’s hands move to his head, weaving and tugging at the threads of hair, and Eliott grinds down into the bed at the sensation. He needs to get control of himself if he’s going to last at all. And this is about Lucas. Eliott’s dick is normally more patient. He actually prides himself on his stamina. But he gets around Lucas and his dick makes the executive decision to behave like they’re fourteen again. He brushes lips down Lucas’s chest until he finds his nipple, scrapes his teeth and his tongue against the hard nub, before he bends down and sucks.</p><p>“ELI-” Lucas wails, a high-pitched, animalistic sound, as he arches up into Eliott’s mouth, grip near painful in Eliott’s hair. Eliott releases him with a smacking noise, raising his head to look up at Lucas with an eyebrow raised. And what a picture he makes. Head thrown back, biting down on his lower lip, sweat collecting at his temples and face a flushed, deep red.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott warns in an amused whisper. He waits until Lucas’s eyes blink open and connect with his own. “Gonna have to keep it down, unless you want Yann crashing in here.” Lucas’s eyes widen with understanding and he nods. In truth, Eliott would rather Lucas be as loud as he wanted. There’s vain appeal in knowing Eliott is the reason for Lucas losing himself in such a way, and he wants to know exactly how loud Lucas can get. He has a feeling Lucas would be <em>loud</em>. But Yann <em>is</em> just down the hall and already with suspicions as to what – <em>who</em> – Lucas is up to. Eliott reaches for the t-shirt he discarded beside the bed. He rolls it quickly into ball and hands it to Lucas. “Press it to your mouth when you can’t control it, ok?” Lucas nods. “Just…” Eliott grins. “No smothering yourself, ok? I know it’s called little death but –” Lucas’s leg lashes up, knee catching Eliott in the side.</p><p>“God,” Lucas huffs frustrated, “would you shut up?!”</p><p>Eliott laughs, pressing Lucas’s leg back down and rubbing at his side though it didn’t particularly hurt. “Not sure I can do that.” He runs his hand from Lucas’s knee back up, stopping at the dip between his hip and groin. Lucas sucks in a breath, going completely silent. “Not when you look like this.” His cock is so hard, it must be taking him an immeasurable amount of control not to touch – not to demand Eliott touch. Eliott drags his fingers to the small patch of hair, perfectly groomed, at the base of Lucas’s cock. Eliott’s never been with a man who groomed to this extent – this carefully, this meticulously. He traces fingertips across the soft skin. There’s a little razer burn on one side, tiny raised bumps of irritated skin. Eliott leans down and kisses the patch. He lifts his head slightly looking back up at Lucas.</p><p>“Lucas, are you clean?”</p><p>Lucas’s face scrunches and he swallows a couple times before he’s able to get the words out. “I showered before the party?”</p><p>Eliott gapes for a second before he falls face first back into the skin at the base of Lucas’s cock with an uncontrollable laugh. He doesn’t want to embarrass Lucas, but he can’t help the giddy laughter. He’s really here… with Lucas… naked and hard and waiting for Eliott’s mouth… and he just answered like <em>that</em>. Eliott turns his head and can’t help but take advantage of his current position, sweeping his tongue against the base of Lucas’s cock and marveling at the smooth skin.</p><p>“<em>Eliott.</em>” Lucas whines, hand moving back into Eliott’s hair to tug in clear frustration. He’s been surprisingly patient – much less demanding than Eliott expected. So has Eliott for that matter. The fact that he hasn’t gotten Lucas’s dick in his mouth yet, suddenly seems like one of the more enormous failures of Eliott’s life. But…</p><p>“I meant are you <em>clean</em>,” Eliott repeats, pressing another kiss to the base of Lucas’s cock, and glancing back to where Lucas strains to look down at him. He raises an eyebrow in suggestion and Lucas’s eyes widen in understanding.</p><p>“Fuck.” He giggles, falling back against the pillow and pressing a hand to his face. Eliott raises his head slightly to be better see the adorable, embarrassed picture he makes. “God, I knew that,” Lucas whines, peering out through his fingers at Eliott. “I knew you meant that,” he whispers. Adorable.</p><p>“Well, I’m glad to know you shower regularly,” Eliott teases. Lucas’s leg spasms in what is no doubt meant to be a threat of another potential knee to the stomach.</p><p>“Yes, I’m clean,” Lucas says, dropping his hands from his face to look at Eliott unobscured. He smiles a little. “Showering and otherwise.”</p><p>Eliott returns his smile, “Good,” and leans down, without preamble, taking Lucas’s erection into his mouth.</p><p>“Oh <em>fuck</em>,” Lucas gasps before his voice is muffled.</p><p>Eliott closes his lips, letting a little spit dribble down the length as he sinks lower. He fists the base of Lucas’s cock firmly, bringing his other hand up, in between Lucas’s legs to fondle his balls. The moment his hand connects, fingers sweeping back and in between, Lucas’s hips jerk up. In doing so he drives his cock deeper into Eliott’s mouth, hitting the back of his throat without warning. Eliott gags, lifting up and off to cough compulsively.</p><p>“Fuck. I’m sorry!” Lucas sounds horrified and Eliott has to laugh in response.</p><p>“It’s fine.” His voice is already a little hoarse and he clears his throat, trying again as he smiles at Lucas reassuringly. “Just took me by surprise.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean to,” Lucas rushes, chest expanding as he desperately seeks the air needed to speak between his frantic breaths. “I just – I couldn’t help it when you…” His eyes shift away. “Sorry. I won’t –”</p><p>“When I what?” Eliott interrupts, smirking as Lucas’s eyes move back to him. He moves his hand back between Lucas’s legs, and on instinct, further still, behind Lucas’s balls. He presses the pads of his fingers there and watches as Lucas’s head tips back, eyelids fluttering shut as he swallows a moan. “That?”</p><p>“Please,” Lucas whispers. “<em>Please, please, please</em>.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t wait any longer, leaning back down and enveloping Lucas back into his mouth. He grips Lucas’s cock with his other hand, matching the movements of his mouth as he creates as tight a suction as he dares when keeping teeth out of play. He sucks when he gets to the head, flicking his tongue in the tip and pressing his thumb just underneath the ridge of the head. Lucas’s body shudders but he otherwise keeps his hips in place. Eliott sucks him back down, tracing the vein on the underside with his tongue, only stopping when his lips meet his fist at the base. He massages the fingers of his other hand against Lucas’s perineum as he rises back up and the reaction is instantaneous. Lucas’s body jerks again but Eliott is ready for it, hand moved from Lucas’s cock to grip tightly at Lucas’s hip and hold him down. He sinks his mouth back down, lower this time, until he can feel the tip nudging the back of his throat. He moves his fingers further back, until one finger is nudging at Lucas’s hole.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas whines, voice muffled but still clearly audible, “<em>please</em>. I need – <em>god </em>– I need something inside me.” Eliott chokes. He pulls off Lucas’s cock with a gasp, just barely suppressing another cough, as he stares wide-eyed up Lucas.</p><p>“What?” He moves his fingers away, waiting for Lucas’s attention.</p><p>Lucas’s head is thrown back, and he has Eliott’s shirt balled up and pressed to his mouth, his eyes, previously squeezed shut, blink open. Unfocused and a little frenzied they stare down at Eliott, saturated with need.</p><p>“<em>Please</em>.”</p><p>Eliott watches his face closely. “My fingers?” Lucas nods, head tipping back once more and eyes closing.</p><p>“Yes, yes, yes.”</p><p>“Ok.” He takes a deep breath. “Lube. Lucas, lube?”</p><p>“Drawer.”</p><p>Eliott nods, reaching to quickly retrieve what looks to be a well used tube. He sits up slightly, reaching for an extra pillow. “Lucas, lift up.” Lucas does as told, lifting his hips to allow Eliott to squeeze a pillow beneath. His eyes open and land on Eliott for only a moment before he squeezes them shut again with a desperate groan, pressing Eliott’s shirt back to his mouth. Eliott’s hands shake as he opens the cap of the lube and spreads some onto a couple fingers. He sets the tube aside on the bedside table, using his other hand to press Lucas’s thighs back and spread him further, exposing his hole to Eliott’s gaze. Eliott reaches forward with his slick hand, pressing a fingertip to the furrowed opening, and then around, spreading lube as he watches Lucas’s hole clench in anticipation.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas whispers, “please. I need – I need you inside me.”</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>.” Eliott wraps a fist tight to the base of his own cock, squeezing desperately to rein himself back in. “God, you can’t say things like that.” He grits his teeth and prays for some of that stamina he swears he had pre-Lucas. “Ok. Ok.”</p><p>He takes a deep breath, releasing his own cock, and leaning back down to take the tip of Lucas’s back into his mouth. He sucks, dipping deeper and licking the precum from the tip. He circles a slick finger around Lucas’s opening as he does so, before pressing his fingertip in. Lucas tenses immediately, body clamping down around the digit, and he makes a guttural sound. Eliott keeps his hand still, focusing on sinking his mouth lower, then back up. He moves his free hand back to Lucas’s erection, concentrating on sucking the tip as his hand jerks him at a steady pace. Lucas’s body relaxes and Eliott presses his finger deeper, to the second knuckle now. Lucas is saying things – words Eliott can’t make out for the way they’re muffled into the material of his shirt held to Lucas’s mouth. Eliott pulls his finger out slightly and then presses back in, sinking deeper until all of it is inside Lucas, tucked tightly in the warm depths of his body. Suddenly the words Lucas become clear. A warning.</p><p>“I’m going to – Eliott – I’m going to –”</p><p>The first spurt of come hitting Eliott’s tongue takes him by surprise. He hadn’t known Lucas was so close. It’s a dizzying realization. Eliott closes his mouth around the head of Lucas’s cock, jerking him through it and taking all he has to offer as Lucas shakes through his orgasm. He waits until the last shudder runs through Lucas’s body, only then pulling his mouth off Lucas’s cock with an explicit slurping sound. Lucas whines as Eliott gently removes his finger from his body, eyes blinking open. Eliott raises his head, sitting up to a kneel and waiting for Lucas to focus on his gaze.</p><p>Eliott swallows.</p><p>Lucas’s jaw drops. Abruptly he’s leaping up and forward into Eliott’s arms. The unexpected action forces Eliott back onto his heels, as Lucas lands half on his thighs and pulls Eliott into a hard kiss. But Eliott gets with the program quickly, his own need pressed thick to Lucas’s stomach, growing harder and harder to ignore. He wraps his arms tight around Lucas’s back, returning the kiss as he pushes his tongue into Lucas’s mouth and lets him taste himself. He groans desperately as his erection rubs against the swell of Lucas’s lower stomach, moving one arm lower against Lucas’s body to pull him closer and provide more friction. Lucas resists, however, pulling back from the kiss, and while he keeps a hand gripped to the back of Eliott’s neck, he separates their bodies enough to rob Eliott of the relief the touch of his body was providing. He looks down at Eliott hard and dripping between them and bites his lip.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott pleads desperately.</p><p>A smile pulls at Lucas’s mouth, far too sweet and innocent for the way he moves his free hand to Eliott’s cock, gripping it tightly and immediately beginning to stroke. Eliott jerks up into the contact, fucking into Lucas’s fist with a satisfied groan. He reaches to thread a hand through Lucas’s hair, gripping tightly and pulling him back into a hard kiss. Lucas stops moving his hand, keeping his grip around Eliott’s cock perfectly firm and letting Eliott set the pace. It doesn’t take long. A few more hard thrusts through Lucas’s grip and Eliott is groaning loudly against his lips, pulling Lucas to him tightly as he begins to come. Lucas moves his hand, letting Eliott rut up against his belly as he shakes through his orgasm, painting Lucas’s abs with his release. The pleasure spreads through his body, giving credence to the phrase 'full body orgasm'. He presses kisses to Lucas’s jaw and then neck as he shudders through the aftershocks.</p><p>“Here,” comes Lucas’s soft voice. Eliott raises his head to see Lucas is offering tissue. Eliott smiles, sitting back slightly to swipe at the come smeared on his own stomach. He looks up to ask where to dispose of the tissue only to see Lucas using <em>Eliott’s shirt </em>to clean himself.</p><p>“Lucas!” Eliott whispers harshly, reaching for the shirt.</p><p>Lucas jumps back and out of reach on the bed, smiling smugly as he continues his cleaning before he drops the t-shirt to the floor next to the bed. Eliott sighs, giving the tissues the same treatment before turning an unimpressed look on Lucas.</p><p>“What’s with you and covering my clothing in spunk?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, eyes bright with mischief. “Just giving Yann something to talk about.”</p><p>“Why you little –” He leaps forward, grabbing for Lucas’s waist. Lucas lets out a small shriek before slapping a hand to his own mouth and giggling uncontrollably. Its contagious and Eliott joins in, laughing as he digs his fingers into Lucas’s sides in retaliation.</p><p>“Stop!” Lucas squeals, shoving Eliott flat to the bed. He points a wagging finger down at him. “You keep it down, mister, or I’ll use the code word and get Yann in here to drag your ass out.”</p><p>Eliott snickers, delighting in this new, giddy, post-orgasm Lucas. “What is the word?”</p><p>Lucas reaches for the light as he answers, “Lemon drop,” and then immediately freezes.</p><p>Eliott stares up at him curiously. “Why lemon drop?”</p><p>Lucas flicks off the light, dropping down the mattress next to Eliott and pulling the covers up over them before he answers. “Easy to use in a sentence but not something you’d say often.”</p><p>It’s hard to make out Lucas’s features in the dark as Eliott’s eyes adjust but he does his best, narrowing his eyes as he judges what little he can make out of Lucas’s expression. “Lots of things are easy to use in a sentence. Why lemon drop?”</p><p>Lucas sighs, a warm puff of air against Eliott’s shoulder. Eliott turns onto his side, reaching forward to poke at Lucas’s stomach before his hand is slapped away.</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas says, complaint clear in his voice. “Yann sometimes calls me that.”</p><p>The knowledge washes over Eliott like euphoria. “He calls you lemon drop?”</p><p>“Lulu lemon drop,” Lucas whispers. And while Eliott realizes Lucas would likely not be so readily sharing this information if it weren’t for the endorphins rushing through his body after a good orgasm, he’s going to relish this newfound knowledge all the same.</p><p>“He calls you Lulu lemon drop…” Eliott repeats, not quite a question, more out of a need to speak the words himself.</p><p>“‘Cause I can be sweet and sour,” Lucas offers without prompting. Stars burst behind Eliott’s eye lids and he knows he’s grinning like a lunatic in the dark.</p><p>“Oh my god.”</p><p>“Now go to sleep,” Lucas grumps. And Eliott realizes Lucas… intends for him to spend the night? For them to literally <em>sleep together. </em>He should leave it… not question it, but…</p><p>“You want me to spend the night?”</p><p>There’s a pregnant pause before Lucas answers. “I’m just being polite.”</p><p>“Oh sure,” Eliott snorts. “Politeness. Definitely at the core of our relationship.”</p><p>“We don’t have a relationship,” Lucas snips. “And I’m kicking you out before anyone wakes up in the morning.”</p><p>Eliott would probably take greater offense to those words – to the total dismissal of what’s happening between them but… he supposes he’s enjoying the aftereffects of a truly incredible orgasm himself. And he’s been invited to sleep next to Lucas. All he feels is… good… warm and happy.</p><p>“Ok,” he agrees, smile obvious in his voice.</p><p>Lucas’s features are clearer in the dark now. He’s watching Eliott’s face closely. He smiles. “Goodnight.” Then he flips to his other side, leaving his back facing Eliott. His tanned skin shines in the moonlight.</p><p>“Night, lemon drop,” Eliott whispers back, shutting his eyes with a smile.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Next update will probably go up the usual time (on the weekend) or maybe a day late!</p>
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<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks everyone for all the love, support, and comments. I really appreciate all of you and it makes the experience of sharing this fic a lot more special &lt;3</p><p>  <b>Warning: There is a discussion in this chapter about suicide and cancer and death. If you feel any of that might be triggering for you, please dm me on tumblr and I will be happy to discuss it with you.</b></p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>When Eliott wakes it’s with some initial confusion. He remembers where he is. It’s not that. It only takes a split second when his eyes open for the memories to rush through him in a euphoric daze. Lucas. Sex. <em>Sex with Lucas. </em>And so, for once it’s not his brain causing his confusion, it’s his body. Quite literally. It feels… odd. There’s a strange weightlessness – at least his upper body. Eliott scrunches his nose, blinking alertness back into his eyes and he shifts his weight slightly and tries to identify the reason for this strange sensation. It’s as though one side of his body has been numbed. The reason for this bizarre and disorienting feeling only becomes apparent when Eliott turns his head. And, well… that might be the cause.</p><p>Lucas lays on his side, facing Eliott. When they’d fallen asleep, Lucas had intentionally left a large gap between them. It would seem Lucas’s unconscious is a lot cuddlier than his waking mind. Not only has he pressed his body up against Eliott, he’s… molded himself to one side of Eliott’s body. His thigh is splayed on top of Eliott’s leg, and he’s taken Eliott’s right arm, both arms wrapped around it tightly in something resembling a hug – like a child with their favourite teddy bear. In doing so, he’s cut off the blood circulation in Eliott’s arm, leaving it numb and that side of Eliott’s body tingling with pins and needles. Discomfort he’s caused aside, Lucas makes an adorable picture. His face is relaxed in sleep, softened and peaceful. He’s pressed his cheek to Eliott’s shoulder, and the effect mashes his lips into a pout. But as much as Eliott would love to lay here and admire the picture he makes, now that he’s become aware of the total lack of blood flow in his arm, he’s desperate to escape Lucas’s very adorable, but circulation-strangling hold.</p><p>Attempting to lift his arm from Lucas’s hold only results in the other boy nuzzling into the skin with a contented sigh, and Eliott getting thoroughly distracted by the sight. A few strands of Lucas’s hair have fallen down over his forehead, catching on the corners of his eyelashes. Eliott turns slightly and reaches out – reaches out like he always wants to and never does – gently brushing the hair back and away from Lucas’s forehead. Lucas’s face twitches slightly under the attention but he doesn’t wake. Eliott’s eyes trace the arch of Lucas’s eyebrow and he follows their path with his fingertips, running them gently across Lucas’s brow and then circling down, following the slope of his cheekbone. Lucas twitches again and this time he moves a hand from Eliott’s arm to swipe at his own face in an unconscious effort to rid himself of the tickling sensation. Eliott watches him with a smile, and it’s only the returned feeling to his arm in the form of what feels like a million pin pricks, that he realizes he’s been freed. Eliott lifts his arm carefully away from Lucas’s remaining hand, gripping only loosely to the underside of Eliott’s bicep, and swings up to sit on the edge of the bed. He shakes his arm out as best he can without unintentionally waking Lucas, and winces as sensation slowly returns.</p><p>A quick glance at the bedside clock tells him it’s still quite early. Lucas likely won’t have an alarm set for at least another half hour – especially on a day they’ll be working the later shift. Eliott considers his options. He could sneak out now. Lucas would probably <em>prefer</em> Eliott did so – before any of the roommates are up… before that inevitable after-morning awkwardness. If he slipped out quietly now, sight unseen, Lucas would likely <em>thank </em>him for it later. But then… Eliott looks back at the sleeping boy on the bed, perfectly rumpled and just, so very… sweet, and he can’t do it. Not without at least kissing Lucas goodbye.</p><p>Decision made, Eliott gets up from the bed, quickly slipping on his briefs before making his way to the bedroom door. It squeaks comically when he opens it but a quick glance back to Lucas in bed, assures Eliott the sleeping boy hasn’t been roused. The hallway is dark, everyone else still asleep, and Eliott slips across it into the bathroom. He pees quickly before standing in front of the mirror and contemplating his options. He’s not about to use someone else’s toothbrush, especially without being able to tell which is Lucas’s. He goes by the standby method of toothpaste on a finger instead and smears that about his mouth, rinsing thoroughly and spitting. A quick perusal of the medicine cabinet (he’s not snooping, he swears!) produces a small bottle of mouthwash and he uses that for a final rinse. Minty fresh he returns quickly and quietly to the bedroom.</p><p>Lucas has migrated to the spot Eliott vacated and curled himself around the blankets left as though trying to reclaim the lost warmth of Eliott’s body. Eliott makes his way around the bed, smiling gently down at the sight Lucas makes. He looks so much smaller, curled up as he is – vulnerable and delicate. A perfect contrast to the Lucas Eliott knows. No – no, that’s not fair. Not a contrast. Just another layer.</p><p>Eliott lays himself next to Lucas on his stomach at the edge of the bed, careful not to jostle the sleeping boy. He shuffles until their faces are only separated by a whisper of space. Then further still, until his lips brush Lucas’s. Lucas’s part with a soft breath, and Eliott can’t wait any longer, pushing forward and kissing him gently, just a delicate press of lips against lips. Another puff of warm air, a sigh, and Lucas’s eyes are blinking open. Eliott pulls back slightly, waiting for Lucas’s eyes to focus on him with awareness. When they do, he moves back in, leaving another lingering kiss on Lucas’s mouth.</p><p>“Good morning,” he whispers with a cautious smile, watching Lucas for any signs of unhappiness at Eliott’s presence. His tattooed arm rests on top of the blanket and Eliott once again finds himself thinking how useful it would be if the colours were to indicate Lucas’s approaching mood. He imagines they’d be a soft, sky blue in the early morning light.</p><p>Lucas blinks slowly. Sleep is still hazy in his eyes, casting them in a deeper blue than usual. “You’re all minty,” he whispers back.</p><p>Eliott hums, moving back in for another kiss. He licks at Lucas’s lips until they part, but before he can deepen the kiss, Lucas’s hand comes up between them, flattening over Eliott’s mouth. Eliott raises an eyebrow in question.</p><p>“I haven’t brushed my teeth,” Lucas offers in explanation, looking sweetly shy.</p><p>Eliott reaches for Lucas’s hand, pulling it down from his mouth and moving back until their lips just barely brush together. He grins. “I better share then, don’t you think?” He doesn’t give Lucas a chance to answer, hand threading up into Lucas’s hair as he pulls him into a hard kiss. Lucas doesn’t resist him this time, sinking into it with a happy sound and licking into Eliott’s mouth as though he really could capture some of the minty freshness for himself. When he allows their mouths to separate, he stays close, words hot against Eliott’s lips.</p><p>“Better not have used my toothbrush.”</p><p>Eliott snickers, rubbing their lips back and forth in a teasing touch that has Lucas’s tongue darting out – to wet his or Eliott’s lips is unclear. “Would’ve,” Eliott teases. “Couldn’t tell which one was yours. Downside of roommates, I guess.” He wraps an arm around Lucas’s back, intending on pulling him in for another kiss, when instead he finds himself flung backwards, Lucas’s hands pressed to his chest. And while he’s fairly certain Lucas meant to do no more than separate them, Eliott, who was already treading too closely to the edge of the bed, falls backwards with a yelp.</p><p>“Eliott!” Lucas whisper shrieks, trying to stop his fall, but hands scrabbling against Eliott’s chest find no purchase. Eliott hits the hard floor with a loud thump, smacking the back of his head against the side table as he goes.</p><p>“What the fu–” His words are cut off by Lucas’s hand pressed to his mouth – and Eliott has to say he’s getting pretty tired of that.</p><p>“Ssshhh,” Lucas hushes him, hanging half off the bed. He drops his hand but keeps his arm outstretched to Eliott in warning. “I’m sorry, just – you can’t make any noise.”</p><p>“Bit late for that,” Eliott grumps, rubbing the back of his head and stubbornly refusing to drop his voice to a whisper. “Did you seriously just push me out of the fucking bed because you <em>didn’t </em>want me to make any noise?”</p><p>“I didn’t push you out of the bed.”</p><p>“You <em>literally </em>pushed me out of the bed.”</p><p>“I didn’t <em>mean </em>to push you out of the bed,” Lucas argues, stubborn tilt to his eyebrows. “And would you keep your voice down?!”</p><p>“Christ, Lucas.” Eliott sits up, discovering he’s genuinely pretty pissed off. “Great bedside manner.”</p><p>Lucas frowns. “You’re not a patient.”</p><p>“You sure?” Eliott raises a challenging eyebrow, holding the back of his head where there is a minor lump forming. “Because I’m pretty sure you’re responsible for an injury here.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic.” He’s hopping up from the bed and Eliott is briefly distracted by the sight of Lucas’s naked ass before it disappears beneath the cotton of his briefs as he pulls them on. Lucas turns back to him, eyes wide in obvious suggestion. “Well? Get up! We need to get you out of here.” He’s moving to the door, pressing an ear to the wood panel. “Fuck. Can’t believe we slept the whole night. They better not be up yet.”</p><p>“They’re not.” Eliott stands, moving to pull his jeans on. He lifts his shirt, frowning at its crusty state. “I’m not wearing this,” he points out.</p><p>Lucas looks back at him, eyes moving to the shirt before he sighs in frustration, none of the previous night’s playfulness to be found. “Fuck. Fine. Just…” He moves to his dresser drawers, quickly pulling out a simple red t-shirt. “Wear this.” Eliott nods, taking the shirt and pulling it over his head. “But I want that back,” Lucas adds.</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott challenges, pointing to his shirt left on the floor. “Well I want that back. Washed.”</p><p>“Whatever. Now c’mon.”</p><p>“Jesus, relax,” Eliott says, far more aggravated than he would like. This just… isn’t how he wanted the morning to go, bruised, head throbbing, and faced with a grumpy Lucas – not the cute kind. “I’m going. This isn’t a spy thriller. I’ll just leave.”</p><p>“I’m not the one being dramatic!”</p><p>Eliott releases a disbelieving laugh. “You’re kidding me, right?”</p><p>Lucas’s face tightens, readying for a fight before he shakes his head quickly, as though tossing the impulse from his brain. “Just – stay behind me and be quiet.”</p><p>“Sure,” Eliott agrees, letting annoyance seep into his tone. “Not a dramatic plan at all.”</p><p>Lucas shoots him a warning look before he turns to open the door to the hallway. He motions for Eliott to follow. They creep down the dark hallway, until they reach the living room, morning light streaming through the windows giving it a warm glow. There’s a clinking noise coming from the kitchen and Lucas swears, shoving Eliott back into the shadows of the hall.</p><p>“Yann’s up,” he whispers fiercely, glaring back at Eliott as though he’s blaming him for this occurrence.</p><p>“How is that my fault?” Eliott whispers back in complaint.</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, raising a hand in warning for Eliott to remain where he is. “Just stay here. When I distract him, you leave.”</p><p>It doesn’t sound like a fail-proof plan at all. “And you’re going to explain the sound of the door opening how?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Lucas says, exasperated. “I’ll figure it out. Just wait until he’s distracted, ok? Do <em>not</em> come out before then.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes but nods, leaning back against the hallway wall as Lucas disappears around the corner to enter the kitchen.</p><p>“Hey,” Yann greets, and while Eliott can’t see his face he can still picture his perfectly friendly smile.</p><p>“Morning,” Lucas says in return. “You’re up early.”</p><p>Yann hums in agreement. “Didn’t get a great sleep.” A pregnant pause.</p><p>“Oh?” There are transparent nerves in Lucas’s voice. Eliott has to wonder how he ever manages to keep anything from Yann if this is his best effort.</p><p>“Yeah. Morning for strong coffee, that’s for sure. You want?”</p><p>“Yeah, that would be great,” Lucas replies. “Uh – maybe we can go to the balcony to enjoy them?”</p><p>Silence and then… “It’s cold as fuck. You want to sit on the balcony to drink coffee?”</p><p>“I mean, it’s a pretty morning.”</p><p><em>Wow</em>. Lucas truly has to be the worst liar ever. Eliott can’t believe Yann is buying that.</p><p>“Guess we could,” Yann finally responds. “Or you could just tell Eliott to get his ass in here and then we don’t have to freeze <em>our</em> asses on the balcony while he sneaks out.” Ok… so maybe Yann wasn’t buying it at all. A shocked, silent laugh bursts from Eliott’s chest as he listens to the extended silence coming from the kitchen until finally…</p><p>“<em>Fuck</em>,” Lucas groans. “You know?”</p><p>“Eh. Was pretty damn sure you two were hooking up.  And I would have put money on hearing his voice last night. You just confirmed it.”</p><p> “Goddammit.”</p><p>“Eliott,” Yann calls, “get in here.”</p><p>Eliott pushes off the wall, moving around the corner and entering the kitchen with a bashful smile. “Hey, Yann.”</p><p>Yann chuckles at the sight of him and points to the coffee. “I imagine you could use some of that. Didn’t sound like you got a lot of sleep last night either.”</p><p>“Yann!” Lucas squeaks.</p><p>Eliott laughs lightly. “Sorry about that. Were we really loud?”</p><p>“Eliott!”</p><p>“I meant it when I said it sounded like Lucas was murdering someone,” Yann says, handing Eliott a mug from the cupboard.</p><p>“I swear to God…”</p><p>“Ya, well, you can blame ninety-nine percent of the noise on Lucas. I’m coming out of this with injuries.” He returns his hand to the lump on the back of his head with a grimace.</p><p>“What?” Yann laughs. “Do I even want to know how that happened?”</p><p>“Shut up!” Lucas yells before Eliott says any more. He grabs Eliott’s still-empty mug away, setting it on the counter with a bang. “He’s leaving. You’re leaving.” Eliott rolls his eyes, grabbing Lucas’s hands away where they’re prodding at his chest in an effort to push him back.</p><p>“Lucas,” Yann chastises, “let the guy have some coffee first at least.”</p><p>“No! He needs to get home.” Lucas looks back to Eliott. “You need to go home. We have to be at work in a couple hours.”</p><p>Enjoying the way Lucas is so entirely flustered, Eliott finds he’s not all that eager to comply. “I have time,” he disagrees, shooting Yann a comradely smile. “Besides, I want to know how Lulu lemon drop came about.” Lucas kicks him. Not hard but… still… Lucas <em>kicks him – </em>right in the shin. Eliott yelps, hopping back.</p><p>“Lucas, what the fuck?!” Yann yells.</p><p>“He deserved it!” Lucas yells back, rounding on Eliott once more. “I barely even touched you. Stop being so dramatic!”</p><p>“Dramatic?!” Eliott gapes. “You kicked me!”</p><p>“All the more reason to leave!”</p><p>“You realize <em>words</em> are an option, yeah? You don’t need to resort to <em>kicking</em>.”</p><p>“I <em>did </em>use words! You weren’t listening!”</p><p><em>“Why is everyone yelling?” </em>A new voice asks from the entrance to the kitchen.</p><p>Their attention swings to the newcomer. Emma – standing looking only half awake and not at all pleased about it.</p><p>“Uhhh…” Lucas stalls.</p><p>“Sorry,” Eliott offers instead, properly contrite. “We didn’t mean to wake you.” He braces himself for the inevitable questions about his presence in their kitchen, but they never come. Bleary eyed, Emma grunts and pushes past them, taking what was to be Eliott’s mug and moving to fill it with coffee. Eliott shares a wide-eyed look with Lucas. He’s definitely pushed his luck. It’s time to go. Where Emma is, Alex will soon follow. And explaining his reasons for being in Lucas’s kitchen first thing in the morning, to his roommate is not something Eliott is interested in doing. He glances over Lucas’s shoulder, offering Yann a small smile and wave as goodbye. Yann nods in acknowledgement, arm wrapping around Emma where she has burrowed into his shoulder with eyes closed as she sips on her coffee.</p><p>Eliott quietly makes his way out of the kitchen, Lucas quick on his heels. He turns as he reaches the door. Lucas is still just in his briefs, and it occurs to Eliott that he can’t be sure if or when he’ll get to see him like this again. Lucas seems to suddenly be a lot more aware of his own state of undress as well and holds himself with arms wrapped tightly to his stomach, eyes on the ground in front of him. And Eliott aches – <em>aches</em> with the need to touch him again. It had been so easy this morning, in the quiet of Lucas’s bedroom. So easy last night, pumped up on adrenaline and need. But now… he’s bereft of reasons to reach out… to grip Lucas’s hair and pull him closer… to press a hard kiss to his swollen lips.</p><p>He moves to pull the door open, pausing halfway into the hall to look back at Lucas. “I’m gonna start making a tally of my bruises courtesy of you.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes and then he’s reaching for the waistband of his briefs, pulling it down just enough to reveal an enticing slice of his lower belly. His lower belly where Eliott has apparently left an impressive love bite. Eliott reaches out without making an intentional decision to do so. He presses a thumb to the bruise and Lucas makes a small noise, knocking his hand away and tripping back and out of reach as he lets his waistband snap back into place. His eyes are wide, pupils huge, and he swallows heavily. <em>God</em>, Eliott wants him. He wants him so badly it feels less like a conscious thought than a physical pull.</p><p>“You can just add it to the tally of things I’ve done to offend your delicate sensibilities,” Lucas says, a little out of breath. It takes Eliott a moment to remember what they’d even been speaking about.</p><p>“Delicate?” He asks with raised brows. “Didn’t think I was too delicate when you were throwing me to the floor of your room. Last night. This morning.” Neither instance happened exactly like that but… semantics.</p><p>Lucas’s lips twitch. “It was your complaining incessantly afterwards that did it.”</p><p>“Yeah, well, potential skull fractures will have that effect.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas groans, voice raised. “You are the most dramatic –”</p><p>Eliott cuts him off, reaching forward to wrap an arm around Lucas’s waist, and dragging him out into the hall before Lucas realizes what is happening and has an opportunity to pull away. Lucas gasps, stumbling forward, allowing Eliott to pull the door shut behind them. He moves both hands tight to Lucas’s waist, and presses him up against the hallway wall next to the door. Lucas’s eyes are wild, his mouth open. He’s everything Eliott can ever remember wanting. Eliott kisses him. Lucas responds immediately, like it was all he’d been waiting for too. His hands immediately move to Eliott’s hair and his body arches off the wall, letting Eliott pull them even closer together as their mouths clash. Eliott loses himself in it, the warmth of Lucas’s soft skin beneath his hands, the way his hands tighten in Eliott’s hair to pull him closer, the sound he makes when Eliott’s hand on his waist dips lower, thumb searching out the bruise he now knows hides beneath Lucas’s waistband. And he forgets where they are – forgets until someone loudly clearing their throat forces him to remember.</p><p>At the noise, Lucas rips his face away. Eliott follows the direction of this gaze to see… <em>oh</em>… an older neighbour walking towards them, looking thoroughly unimpressed by the scene. Lucas shoves Eliott away from him before remembering his own near nudity. He hauls Eliott back, pressing his chest to Eliott’s back in an attempt to shield his own body.</p><p>“Mr. Ansel,” Lucas’s voice comes out squeaky and high-pitched, “good morning. Sorry – we were just…” He trails off, clearly realizing there is no way to explain what he and Eliott were doing that isn’t ‘we were one second away from deciding to get off in the middle of the building’s hallway’.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” the old man grumbles, eyes narrowed and filled with judgement as he passes them. They both watch as he continues down the hallway, throwing one last scowling look over his shoulder before he turns the corner. Eliott gives it another five seconds before he starts laughing. Lucas immediately shoves him away, scowling with arms crossed against his chest. The stern look he’s going for, considerably loses its impact by him doing so in no more than a pair of boxer briefs.</p><p>“C’mon,” Eliott complains. “You can’t honestly be upset some homophobic old guy in your building caught us.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth drops. “He’s not homophobic! He’s gay!” Oh. Ok. So, Eliott hadn’t expected that.</p><p>“Well…” Eliott waffles. “Even if he’s gay. He has no right to judge us.”</p><p>“He has every right to judge us! He shouldn’t have to see two people <em>fucking </em>in the hallway at the crack of dawn.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, as though calling on patience to deal with a child in the midst of a tantrum. “We were hardly <em>fucking</em>, Lucas.”</p><p>“Just – shut up!” Lucas whisper shouts. “You are – you are so infuriating!” And Eliott would like to take him seriously but he’s standing there in his underwear, flushed from the tip of his nose to his toes, trying desperately to look angry and he’s just…</p><p>“And <em>you</em>… are so fucking hot.”</p><p>Lucas freezes with his mouth open in the beginnings of what was likely to be another blistering remark. One long extended moment of staring at Eliott and he lets out a wildly frustrated sound, spinning in place and throwing himself toward his apartment door. He slams it shut behind him and Eliott hears the lock slamming into place with an echoing finality.</p><p>Eliott releases a light laugh, turning to make his way down the hallway. He whistles as he goes.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Good morning!” Eliott greets happily as he approaches the nurses station. Daphne swings around with an equally bright smile.</p><p>“Good morning, Eliott!”</p><p>“<em>Uggghhhhhhh</em>.” Idriss manages from behind her, head resting in the palm of his hands where he sits in front of the desk. “It’s like noon. You two need to chill.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, stretching across the desk to rub a hand over Idriss’s head. “Someone’s grumpy!”</p><p>“He is!” Daphne chirps. “I certainly didn’t force him to party that hard the night before shift and yet I still have to work with him.” She says all of this with the same sunny disposition she’d greeted Eliott, and he has to admire her resilience, even when faced with a hungover Idriss.</p><p>“Well, you’re looking fresh as a daisy, Daph,” Eliott says with a smile. “You make up for him.”</p><p>She beams. “So are you, Eliott. But you always look good.”</p><p>“Stop it!” Idriss complains, raising his head to glare at them both. “Stop doing that.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs, exchanging an eye roll with Daphne.</p><p>“That cutesy thing you two are doing. It’s annoying.”</p><p>“Why Idri, I do believe you just told us both we’re <em>cute</em>,” Eliott teases. Daphne giggles alongside him.</p><p>Idriss’s eyes narrow and Eliott feels a lot like he’s just been slid under the lens of a microscope. “Why are you in such a good mood?”</p><p>Eliott exhales a laugh, going for casual but coming up short. “I can’t be in a good mood?”</p><p>“Where’d you go last night?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott stalls. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“I mean, where’d you go after you left Sof and me.”</p><p>Eliott scoffs, maybe a little too loud – a little too forced – but he’s never handled his best friend’s scrutiny well. Idriss knows him too well. Deflection is definitely the best option. “Surprised you even remember that. You were in pretty rough shape.”</p><p>Idriss shrugs. “Cursed with a perfect memory even when drunk.”</p><p>“Really? So, you remember trying to make out with me in the Uber?”</p><p>“What?!” Daphne asks, bursting into laughter.</p><p>Eliott is satisfied to see that he has managed to throw Idriss off with this comment. His best friend’s face contorts in confusion as he very obviously scrolls back through his memories from the night prior. His expression clears as he lands on the memory. “You <em>wish</em> I’d tried to make out with you.”</p><p>“Oh, so that wasn’t you laying one on me then?”</p><p>“I’m an affectionate drunk and you turned your face. Would have been an innocent kiss to the side of your head. You’re the one who made it your lips.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “I don’t know, Idri. You spent that ride going on and on about how much you love me. Something we need to talk about?”</p><p>Daphne is laughing delightedly to their side. “You really kissed?!”</p><p>“Ok, ease it with the homoerotic fantasies over there, goldilocks,” Idriss scoffs. “It was an innocent peck on the mouth.”</p><p>“No thanks to you.” Eliott wiggles an eyebrow. “Pretty sure you tried to get some tongue in there.”</p><p>Idriss laughs now too. “Shut the fuck up.”</p><p>“Idriss,” Daphne chastises, smacking his shoulder, “watch it. Need I remind you we’re at work?”</p><p>“Ya, ya,” he dismisses with a wave of his hand.</p><p>“Speaking of work,” Eliott says, recognizing this is a perfect out, “I should get a move on.” He smiles at them both. “I’ll see you later.”</p><p>He only makes it halfway down the hall before he hears Idriss’s voice calling after him. <em>Shit.</em> Eliott’s shoulders tense and he turns to face his friend. Idriss is sporting a different expression than he had been moments prior, however. He looks… contrite?</p><p>“Listen,” Idriss begins as he stops in front of Eliott, “I just wanted to say thanks. For last night.” Eliott’s eyebrows fly up in surprise and Idriss laughs lightly. “I know I was a dick –”</p><p>“You really weren’t,” Eliott disagrees. “It’s all good.”</p><p>“Nah.” Idriss shakes his head. “I still owe you a thank you. For hauling my drunk ass home,” Eliott laughs, “and for listening.” He pauses, hand going to rub at the back of his neck. “The stuff you and Sof said. It helped. So, like… thanks.”</p><p>The stuff they said? The bashful look on Idriss’s face is a better clue to what he means than the words themselves. Manon. He means the conversation about Manon. “That was mostly Sof, to be honest. I’m not sure how much I helped.”</p><p>“You did. Both of you. And uh, I appreciate it.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, accepting the thank you. “Sure. Sober you is feeling better about it then? Or is the hangover messing with that?”</p><p>Idriss chuckles. “No, I am. I, uh… I might have texted her last night.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes widen. “Oh fu –” He cuts himself off, glancing surreptitiously around them at the passing visitors. “I mean, what happened – did – is everything ok?”</p><p>Idriss nods, reaching into his pocket and producing his phone. He unlocks it and after a moment to bring up the messages on screen, hands it over to Eliott. “Easier for you to just see for yourself. Was gonna screencap and send to the group chat later anyways. But I showed Sof this morning so…”</p><p>Eliott carefully judges Idriss’s expression as he takes the phone, but his friend’s expression doesn’t indicate any distress. Eliott looks down at the messages. Idriss has scrolled up to the beginning of a thread. Idriss’s first few messages are… well… quite something.</p><p><em>Mnanon r u up<br/></em><em>Oh no no<br/></em><em>No like that<br/></em><em>Manonn urr so great</em> <strong><br/><br/></strong></p><p>Eliott looks back up to Idriss, already laughing.</p><p>“Ya, ya,” Idriss sighs, pointing back to the phone, “just keep reading.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott looks back up. “It was a good call I take it?”</p><p>Idriss smiles, a boyish youthfulness to it. “Yeah.”</p><p>“I’m really happy for you.” Eliott reaches forward to squeeze Idriss’s shoulder. “Really. She seems great.”</p><p>“She is. Anyway,” Idriss points over his shoulder towards the nurses station, “I’m gonna get back to it and you have to go. Just wanted to say thanks and all.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. “Always.”</p><p>Idriss starts walking backwards before he pauses, lips pursing in contemplation. “You’re gonna talk to me, right?”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t need to ask for clarification. He knows what Idriss means. “Yeah,” he agrees without hesitation. He’d been thinking about it since he left Lucas’s this morning with the knowledge that Yann knew. Their initial agreement not to tell anyone is now moot. And complicated or not, he needs his best friend. “I will.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott is doing his best to follow-along as Dr. Millet quickly lists a number of duties he needs Eliott to complete before the end of day. Despite his feigned ignorance in his conversation with Lucas, Eliott does know why Millet asked for him to be assigned to shadow him over the course of a few of Millet’s busiest days. He sees Eliott as his protégé. No doubt the way Eliott looks up to Millet – maybe some starry eyed gazes were involved, Eliott will remain mute on the subject – has led the doctor to believe Eliott would like to follow in his footsteps, an ego-boost if there ever was one. And they <em>do </em>get along incredibly well, their temperaments complementing one another perfectly. But while Eliott admires Millet over almost all the surgeons in the hospital, and would consider becoming a doctor capable of equal amounts of skill and empathy one of the greatest achievements he could hope for in his career… he doesn’t have any intention of specializing in orthopedics. Letting Millet believe otherwise feels a bit like dancing with Clara all over again, letting her think it was leading down a path Eliott had no intention of travelling, meanwhile he’d been looking over her shoulder at –</p><p><em>Lucas</em>.</p><p>Eliott catches sight of him coming into the hall a way down from where they currently stand. There’s red in his cheeks and his hair is flopping down onto his face as he gestures fiercely. The smile pulling at Eliott’s mouth is entirely involuntary, a reflex at the sight of the frustrating, ridiculous, beautiful boy more than anything else. It drops the moment he sees who Lucas is with.</p><p>Dr. Moreau. <em>Fucking prick</em>.</p><p>Anger spreads through Eliott’s body at a fierce and dizzying pace. Moreau has his head tipped to look at Lucas and keeps moving into his space. Lucas backs up until he can’t even further and bumps into a cart left in the hallway. Eliott tenses all over, watching Lucas’s face closely for any signs of distress. But Lucas doesn’t look like he’s cowering. On the contrary it looks like he’s ripping into Moreau. No one could mistake their conversation for a professional one. There is something deeply personal happening. Eliott can feel it down the length of the hallway.</p><p>“Did you catch all that, Dr. Demaury?”</p><p>Eliott jerks his attention back to Millet, immediately apologetic. “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just…” Distracted by your colleague harassing my… friend? Are they friends?... It doesn’t matter. It’s not like Eliott can say that anyways.</p><p>Millet waves him off with a kind smile. “It’s fine. I’m putting a lot on your plate I understand. If you can’t handle it –”</p><p>“No, I can,” Eliott assures quickly. Whether he intends to follow in Dr. Millet’s footsteps or not, he doesn’t want one of the senior surgeons at the hospital thinking him incompetent. “I can handle it.”</p><p>“Alright, good.” He nods satisfied. “Then get Mrs. Roussel down for the x-ray. We’ll touch base after that.” Eliott nods quickly and waits only for Dr. Millet to pass by his shoulder, before seeking out Lucas once more.</p><p>Lucas still stands with Moreau, though it looks like the conversation is at its end. Lucas has his arms folded across his body in a what is a clear defensive position and his eyes are on the floor as Moreau speaks. Eliott shuffles slightly to the side of the hallway, grabbing a patient’s chart from the nearest door in an attempt to at least try to look like he’s doing something other than creeping on Lucas’s conversation from afar. He tips his head as though to read the chart but strains his eyes up just in time to see Moreau reach forward, using a finger beneath Lucas’s chin to raise his face. Eliott bites the inside of his cheek and breathes heavily through his nose. Lucas nods in reply to whatever Moreau has said but doesn’t speak. Satisfied, the older doctor turns and carries on down the hallway until he disappears out of sight. Lucas leans a shoulder against the wall, appearing to take a few measuring breaths before he begins walking in the opposite direction. Eliott rushes to follow.</p><p>“Lucas!” He calls when he’s a few meters away, coming to a stop in front of him as the other boy turns around, eyebrows raised in surprise.</p><p>“Eliott…” Lucas’s eyes are darting around him and Eliott knows exactly where his thoughts have gone. “What –”</p><p>“What did he want?” Eliott asks, deciding tiptoeing around the point is not something either of them have the time or patience for.</p><p>Lucas face drains of colour. “Who?”</p><p>“You know who. Moreau,” Eliott spits, unintentionally directing the anger he feels towards the older doctor directly at Lucas. It’s a mistake. Of course, it is. Lucas never responds kindly to such tones. Today is no exception. His face hardens immediately, and his posture straightens as though readying himself for battle.</p><p>“How is that possibly any of your business?” Lucas hisses. “He’s a surgeon, I’m an intern. There’s nothing unusual about us speaking.”</p><p>Eliott takes a deep breath, exhaling it in a shaky gust. He needs to calm down. He’ll get nowhere with Lucas like this. Trying for a less accusatory tone, he continues, “That wasn’t a professional conversation, Lucas. Anyone could have seen that.”</p><p>“Anyone?” Lucas scoffs disbelievingly. “Anyone who was spying on my conversations, you mean?”</p><p>“I wasn’t spying. I–”</p><p>“No.” Lucas raises a hand in front of him, like a physical barrier between them. “Enough. Who I talk to – my <em>life</em> – it has nothing to do with you –”</p><p>“Lucas –” Eliott tries but Lucas is having none of it.</p><p>“Stay the fuck out of it, Eliott,” Lucas warns. He doesn’t wait for a rebuttal, spinning on his heel and hurrying away in long, angry strides. Eliott stares after him hopelessly. He thought he left that pit of quicksand behind and yet…</p><p>He sighs and turns to head back in the direction he came. He has things he needs to get done for Millet. He can’t spend his time fretting over Lucas… or <em>Moreau</em> and Lucas. His feet however have different plans and he finds himself walking in the direction of the lab where he knows he’ll find Yann.</p><p>The moment Eliott sees Yann he second-guesses his decision. But before he can swing back around and disappear sight unseen, Yann sees him.</p><p>“Eliott,” he calls out, “looking for me?”</p><p>“Uh,” Eliott stalls, before giving up with a sigh. “Yeah, actually.” He makes his way down the rest of the hall, tipping his head in request that Yann come to speak to him away from the other collected staff. Yann’s face wrinkles in concern and he comes to meet Eliott at the side of the hallway.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>Eliott nervously licks his lips as he collects his thoughts, before deciding to simply ask what he came here to ask. “Do you know what happened with Lucas and Moreau’s surgery?” Yann’s eyebrows pull together. “Like… is he doing it?”</p><p>“What?” Yann scoffs. “Of course not. You already knew that.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a sigh. “I know. It’s just that I saw them and –”</p><p>“Saw them? What do you mean you ‘saw them’?” Yann instantly looks on high alert and Eliott feels somewhat comforted by the fact that Lucas’s best friend doesn’t seem any happier with this news than Eliott had been by the sight.</p><p>“In the hall upstairs,” Eliott confirms. “It didn’t look like a good conversation, Yann. Moreau was…” He waves a hand in the air frustrated. “He looks at Lucas like… and the way he touches him –”</p><p>“Alright.” Yann’s hand lands on his shoulder, cutting off his incoherent would-be tirade. There’s a deeply serious look on his face now, as though he’s aged ten years in the span of a few minutes. “I got it. And I’m guessing you asked him about it?” Eliott grimaces, and Yann exhales heavily. “He rip your head off?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “If we hadn’t been in a hospital hallway, he probably would have.”</p><p>“Ok.” Yann makes to turn around and Eliott grabs his arm to stop him.</p><p>“That’s it? But…”</p><p>“Eliott,” Yann pries his hand off, looking patient but stern, “I know you… care about him, but leave this, yeah?”</p><p>“I can’t just –”</p><p>“You can,” Yann disagrees. “Confronting Lucas about Moreau didn’t work out for you the first time, did it?”</p><p>Eliott flinches. “He told you about that?”</p><p>Yann nods. “Seriously. Just leave it.” Eliott bites his lip around everything he wants to say, and Yann takes pity on him, adding, “I’ll handle it. He’s my best friend. Let me handle it.”</p><p>Eliott’s gut churns. “So, there’s something to handle, then?”</p><p>“Eliott…” Yann warns.</p><p>“Ok. Alright.” Eliott gives in, latching onto the comfort reflected back in Yann’s deep brown eyes. “He’s your friend, I know. I just…” He trails off with a frustrated sound and Yann chuckles, thumping him lightly in the shoulder with a fist.</p><p>“He’s got you tied up in knots, hunh?” Yann shakes his head, grin wide and understanding. “That kid doesn’t know his own power.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, not quite sure what to make of Yann’s comments. “Could you maybe not mention I –”</p><p>“Not really interesting in pissing him off <em>more</em>,” Yann assures. “I won’t say anything.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Eliott offers a grateful smile, watching as Yann returns to his duties.</p><p><em>Tied up in knots?</em> That sure would explain this feeling in Eliott’s stomach.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Emma’s nearly bare ass greets him as he walks into their kitchen the following morning. She’s reaching for their backup tin of coffee grinds on the top shelf in nothing more than her underwear and what Eliott is pretty sure is one of Alex’s tank tops.</p><p>“You know, we tend to wear pants for breakfast around here,” he says by way of greeting.</p><p>She turns with a bright smile. The words ‘eat me’ are printed on the front of her underwear.</p><p>“You shouldn’t. ‘M telling you – guy like you should be naked all the time.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, reaching above her for the tin of coffee and offering it with a wink. “Think my tenure as a surgical intern would be cut short if I did that.”</p><p>“<em>Pff</em>.” She turns to begin making the coffee. “You and Lucas can’t do wrong in that place. Could fuck in the middle of the OR and they’d still give you the best surgeries.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, shocked. He’s only been awake for a few minutes. His brain isn’t nearly alert enough to deal with someone mentioning he and Lucas fucking. “We’re not –”</p><p>“Me on the other hand,” she continues as though he hasn’t spoken, “probably gonna get kicked out of the program.” She slams the top of the coffee machine shut and presses the button for it to begin brewing, joining Eliott at the table with a sigh and slumping into the chair across from him.</p><p>“What do you mean?” Eliott asks gently, deciding to jump right over the comment about him and Lucas and concentrate on her instead. “I thought you were doing well.”</p><p>“I don’t know.” She pulls her legs up to cross them on the seat. “I’m good at the physical stuff, you know?” Eliott nods, though he’s not entirely sure he’s following. “Like, get me in a surgery and I’m golden. All the other shit, though?” She shrugs. “Never was great with the textbooks. Lucas carried me through med school.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott asks, surprised. He can’t quite imagine Lucas setting aside his own interests – especially where his future as a surgeon was concerned – to help someone else. No, that’s not fair. He <em>can</em> imagine Lucas helping someone else – a friend in need, in particular – but doing so while attempting to not only survive med school but remain top of one’s class is a whole different story.</p><p>“Mmm,” she hums in acknowledgement. “Love ‘im for it but I’m still so fucking jealous. Like he’s so talented but he’s got this way about him too that just makes all the surgeons love him even though he’s kind of a dick, you know what I mean?”</p><p>Eliott laughs, tipping his head back as he ruffles a hand through his hair and thinks of Lucas. “Yeah, I know what you mean.”</p><p>“And like, I know he’s good, but how the fuck did he land that surgery with Faure?”</p><p>“What? Faure?” Eliott’s attention flies back to Emma in his surprise. “What surgery?”</p><p>“You don’t know?” She asks, though it’s quite obvious Eliott doesn’t. “It’s all anyone was talking about yesterday. Lucas bagged himself a tumor.” Eliott grimaces at the callous way Emma’s chosen to word that, as she continues. “Faure’s the surgical oncologist. You haven’t met her?” Eliott shakes his head. “She’s a badass. Like old but kinda hot too.”</p><p>“And… this all happened yesterday?”</p><p>She shrugs. “Guess so. I mean – no way the kid’s getting to do shit all but just being in the fucking OR...” She sighs. “He’s always getting these cool opportunities and I’m afraid to even put myself out there in case I fuck it up.”</p><p>Despite the myriad of thoughts running through his head focused on Lucas, Eliott sets them aside, and gives Emma his full attention. “I feel that way too.”</p><p>“Seriously?” She looks incredibly shocked by this information.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott confirms with a soft laugh. “All the time. Not just at work – in basically all areas of my life.”</p><p>Skepticism is plain on her face. “I want to believe you but like… you’re fucking gorgeous, man.” Eliott exhales a laugh through his nostrils. “And you’re so goddamn talented. You and Lucas are gonna be rockstar surgeons. Everyone knows that. Meanwhile, you do that while looking like a goddamn model. Makes it hard to imagine you’re insecure.”</p><p>Eliott acknowledges that with a nod – hardly the first time he’s heard it in his life. “I’ve been through some pretty rough times in my life,” he explains. “Took me longer to get through uni. I wasn’t even sure I’d survive med school.”</p><p>“Why?” She asks with an innocent curiosity as she gets up to pour them both a cup of coffee.</p><p>“I just… I can’t always trust myself,” he settles on. “The way I think or… feel even. It took me a long time not to hate myself for that.”</p><p>“Damn,” she sets their coffees on the table and moves to the fridge for the creamer, “that’s heavy.” She doesn’t sound disturbed at all, and something about her indifferent reaction calms Eliott.</p><p>“Yeah,” he agrees. “And I fucked up a lot. Kind of the reason I got into surgery actually.”</p><p>“Really?” She settles back in her seat. “Why’s that?”</p><p>“Uh…” Despite introducing the topic, Eliott finds it’s not something he’s particularly ready to share. “Not important. The thing is – all of us are sort of fumbling our way through it. Some of us are just better at putting on a front.”</p><p>She purses her lips as she considers this, stirring her coffee. “Maybe. Don’t know that it’ll help me survive this program though.”</p><p>He reaches across the table to place a hand on top of hers and she looks up from her coffee in surprise. “Lucas might have helped you along the way, but you did this yourself, Emma. There’s only so much he could have done. You got yourself here. Not Lucas. Start giving yourself some credit for that.”</p><p>She smiles, close-mouthed but happy. “Damn. Not just hot but sweet too.” Eliott laughs, pulling back his hand as he reaches for the creamer and tops up his own coffee. She stretches a leg beneath the table, poking at his shin with her toes. “Why didn’t I sleep with you?”</p><p>“<em>Morning,</em>” Alex greets as he walks into the kitchen, yawning widely and scratching his belly.</p><p>Eliott grins, looking from him back to Emma with an eyebrow raised. “That might have had something to do with it.” </p><p>Emma rolls her eyes, tipping her head up to receive a kiss from Alex. “Morning, babe.”</p><p>Alex’s forehead wrinkles as he looks down at her. “Why aren’t you wearing pants?”</p><p>“Why <em>are </em>you wearing pants?” She banters back with a cheeky smile.</p><p>“Alright,” Eliott interrupts as he stands, “you guys are too cute for me to handle when the caffeine hasn’t hit my bloodstream. I’m gonna go shower before Lucille gets in there and uses up all the hot water.” He grabs his coffee as he goes.</p><p>“If you wanna come out here naked afterwards, I won’t complain,” Emma calls out after him.</p><p>“Really? I’m right here,” Eliott hears Alex complain.</p><p>“Yeah. No one’s stopping you from getting naked.”</p><p>“‘S that why you’ve lost the pants entirely? Hoping it’ll be catching?”</p><p>“I don’t think it’s too much to ask.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, leaving the lovebirds to their strange version of early morning flirtation.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott doesn’t find Lucas until late into the evening. After shift but still on-call, Eliott should be taking time to get himself some dinner and then finding an unoccupied on-call room to hopefully catch some sleep. Instead he asks after Lucas until one of the nurse’s directs him to the cancer ward. It makes sense, Eliott supposes. The surgery with Faure isn’t until tomorrow (Eliott might have gotten Daphne to check the schedule for him), but there could be any number of tasks Lucas is attending to prior.</p><p>He hasn’t had a lot of opportunity to explore the ward himself. He makes a not-so-quick stop by the nurses station and chats with an older nurse named Catherine. She’s been with the hospital for over thirty years and Eliott discovers quickly her favourite topic of conversation is her granddaughter. She’s a fountain of knowledge and he learns through only a few well-timed questions, that the patient whose surgery Lucas will be present for is a young girl named Léa. She’s only ten years old and from what Eliott gathers, informed by the somber look that overcomes Catherine’s face when she speaks about her, the outlook is not great. He suddenly remembers why it is he tends to avoid this area of the hospital. He’s sure Lucas would mock him for the thought but… his heart is too soft. He’s never done well with the thought of children suffering in any way. And cancer combined with children feels like a reality too cruel to contemplate for long.</p><p>But when Eliott makes his way to Léa’s room and peeks his head in, all he finds is the young girl sound asleep and angelic looking in her bed. When he ventures further down the hall, however, he hears a raucous coming from a brightly lit room spanned by windows. Curious, Eliott walks towards the sound, stopping as he reaches the windows looking into the room. He’s not prepared for the sight that greets him. It’s somehow both the last thing he expected, and the only thing he should have expected. How two such dichotomous thoughts can exist in the same space, Eliott isn’t sure. But then… that’s Lucas. A mystery of opposites.</p><p>Lucas sits in one corner of what appears to be a recreation room facing out. He’s perched himself on a tiny stool and there is a cluster of children at his feet, each in different brightly coloured and patterned hospital gowns and clearly patients. He has a children’s book opened and held up in front of him and he appears to be reading from it. He’s gesturing wildly with his arms and contorting his face in ludicrous expressions as he acts out the characters from the book while the children laugh wildly. Eliott smiles in astonishment as he watches the scene. The children are enraptured with Lucas, gazing up at him in adoration. Lucas too looks just as taken with them. His face is lit up under the attention, and he keeps breaking character to laugh along with the children. It’s as he finishes the book and sets it aside that he notices Eliott at the window. His eyes widen in surprise and his smile drops. Eliott tries not to take it personally though the pit in his stomach says otherwise.</p><p>Lucas stands, talking to the children, and Eliott walks closer towards the door.</p><p>“But that was only like two stories!” One girl is complaining.</p><p>“Two stories?” Lucas scoffs. “That was like ten!”</p><p>“Noooooo,” a chorus of the children deny through laughter.</p><p>“Fine, twenty!”</p><p>That only makes them laugh harder, and Lucas swats teasingly at their hands as they attempt to grab him as he makes his way out of the corner.</p><p>“Just one more,” the same little girl pleads.</p><p>Lucas sighs, pointing at an older boy near the back of the collected group of children. “Mohammed will take over. He does better voices than me anyways.” The boy he’s referring to smiles proudly. Lucas looks down at the rest of the children. “You all better be on your best behaviour for him or I won’t come back in the morning.” The <em>morning</em>. Eliott feels mildly nauseous.</p><p>“You always say that,” the little girls scoffs, clearly not taking his threat seriously at all.</p><p>“Yeah and I always mean it.”</p><p>“But you come anyways,” she denies. She’s all spit and vinegar and this visibly pleases Lucas to no end.</p><p>“Well that’s just because you’re always perfect angels,” Lucas banters back. The children giggle. “Be good for Mohammed and I’ll see you later.” There are various forms of agreement and the young boy, Mohammed moves to take Lucas’s place on the stool.</p><p>Eliott backs away from the door as Lucas approaches, placing himself once more next to the windows. Lucas comes to stand in front of him, and while his expression is guarded, it’s readable too.</p><p>“They seem to really like you,” Eliott says as greeting.</p><p>Lucas nods, glancing through the window back in at the kids. “Yeah, well, they’re kids. Easy audience.”</p><p>“I don’t know about that. They’re so honest. I always found it intimidating,” Eliott admits.</p><p>“Yeah, I like that about them.” Lucas turns back to meet his eyes. “Everything’s just there – out in the open. Adults are more confusing.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. He drops his eyes to the ground between them for a moment as he gathers himself. “You come to see them every morning?” He looks back at Lucas as he asks, hoping the churning in his gut doesn’t show on his face. He’d accused Lucas of it once when he’d believed the exact opposite. He’d said it at the time in mocking – that Lucas was always late to rounds because he was reading ‘bedtime stories to children in the cancer ward’. He’d said it as though the thought were utterly ridiculous – he’s <em>believed </em>the thought was ridiculous. He’s accused Lucas of being late because of who he was <em>fucking </em>instead.</p><p>“Not every morning,” Lucas replies with a slight shrug. His eyes skate over Eliott’s features. “What are you doing here?”</p><p>“I was looking for you,” Eliott answers honestly. “I didn’t expect to find you here.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas says with a slight laugh that somehow sounds incredibly unhappy. He turns to rest the heels of his hands against the window ledge, looking in on the kids. “Never think the best of me, do you?”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Eliott disagrees immediately.</p><p>Lucas turns his head only slightly to meet his eyes. “No?”</p><p>“No.” Eliott moves a little closer to Lucas’s side, staring imploringly into his eyes. “Maybe at one time I – <em>we </em>had certain impressions of one another. <em>Wrong </em>impressions. It’s not like that anymore though.” He searches Lucas’s eyes. “Not for me.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes moving back towards the room. “I spent a lot of time playing with the kids in the cancer ward when I was a teen.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows rise in surprise, and he keeps his eyes on Lucas’s profile. “You did? Why?”</p><p>“My mom had cancer.”</p><p>Eliott tamps down his shock immediately, carefully controlling the way he speaks in reply. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>Lucas smiles a little sadly, eyes dropping, he doesn’t look at Eliott. “I spent a lot of time in the hospital before she passed.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t suppress his sound of shock in time. His hand is already rising to touch Lucas before he catches it, pulling it back to his side and tightening it around the fabric of his lab coat instead. “I’m so sorry, Lucas.”</p><p>Lucas nods, inhaling deeply before he turns back to face Eliott. His eyes are sad but clear. “It was a long time ago.”</p><p>“How old were you?” Eliott asks gently, moving even closer so they don’t have to raise their voices any louder than the soft tones he’s inclined to use.</p><p>Lucas swallows. “Sixteen when she died.”</p><p>“That’s so young.” Eliott aches for him. “And your dad?”</p><p>Lucas laughs but there’s no humour in it. “Yeah, he was there. I guess. He’s a doctor. Wasn’t hers or anything but yeah…”</p><p>It doesn’t take a lot of empathy to see this is clearly a sore subject for Lucas, and Eliott proceeds cautiously. “Was he there for you?”</p><p>“Not really.” Lucas shrugs. “Didn’t really want him to be. He’d kind of checked out on my mom long before it all happened.”</p><p>“I’m sorry.” It feels like an entirely unhelpful thing to keep saying but Eliott is at a loss for words.</p><p>“I was so mad at the time. That it was cancer that got her.”</p><p>“I can imagine. It must have felt incredibly unfair.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “But not just because of that – because it’s <em>cancer</em>. I thought for so many years I’d lose her to –” He cuts himself off, eyes drifting away for a time before they find there way back to Eliott. “She was sick for a long time – as long as I can remember.”</p><p>“With the cancer? Was she not diagnosed or…?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head. “No. Not the cancer.” He inhales deeply, contemplating something before he answers. “She was mentally ill.”</p><p>It feels a lot like Eliott’s heart has frozen in his chest. “Oh.”</p><p>“Schizophrenic.” Lucas swallows. He’s clearly incredibly nervous about sharing this information. Eliott wishes he could do more than stare blankly in response, but he feels caught in some sort of stasis. “She tried to kill herself at least two times that I can remember – that I found her.” He searches Eliott’s eyes and whatever he finds there has him continuing. “I got used to it – thinking I’d lose her. But I didn’t think it would be cancer.”</p><p>“Is that why–” Eliott’s voice comes out in a croak and he clears his throat. “Is that why you became a doctor?” Lucas nods. A hand goes to his hair and he pulls it back from his face, ruffling it on his head. The usual stubborn piece of hair fights its way free and flops down to his forehead. Eliott reaches for it, brushing it back out of Lucas’s face before he realizes what he’s done. Lucas has frozen. Eliott snaps his hand back. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s ok.” Lucas offers a small smile, and there’s a flush of pink decorating his cheeks now. “Uh, and yeah. Like… I couldn’t stop it then. When it was her own brain wanting to leave. I thought I’d lose her and there was nothing I could do. But cancer?” His face transforms, a fiercer look overtaking it. “She could have been saved. She <em>should </em>have been. Earlier treatment, a better surgeon – she would still be here.”</p><p>Eliott wouldn’t be surprised if the sound of his heart breaking was audible. “So, you became a surgeon.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas inhales deeply. “And one day I’ll be the best.”</p><p>“And stop it from happening that way to someone else?”</p><p>Lucas looks away. “I know we can’t save everyone. I get that death is a thing in this job. But maybe…” His eyes move back to Eliott, sincerity swimming in the blue. “Maybe I can be that better surgeon.”</p><p>Eliott needs to touch him. Kiss him. Hug him. He doesn’t know. He just knows he needs his hands on Lucas, needs to press their bodies together, needs to feel Lucas against him. He’s about to reach for him when suddenly there’s a banging against the window next to them. They both jump at the noise, turning to see the face of the little girl who had been sassing Lucas earlier in the reading corner. An impish smile is spread wide across her face and she yells to be heard through the thick window.</p><p>“Is he your <em>boyfrrrrriend</em>?!” The rest of the children have turned to watch the display and laugh hysterically.</p><p>Lucas only says one word. Her name. Turning to face the window fully, he simply raises an eyebrow and points back to the group at the other side of the room. “Marine.” Eliott can practically hear the girl’s sigh through the window and while the hair on her head is only about an inch long, seemingly growing back post-chemo, she flips her head as though it were past shoulder length, an immeasurable amount of attitude show in the gesture, and turns to return to the other kids.</p><p>Lucas shakes his head with an amused sound, turning back to look at Eliott. The moment their eyes catch, Lucas drops his gaze, shuffling on his feet. “Anyways,” he points with a thumb over his shoulder, “I have some other stuff to get done so I should get going.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott agrees, recognizing all too well that moment of anxiety after sharing something deeply personal.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes trail up slowly until they meet Eliott’s eyes once more. He smiles a little, close-mouthed and nervous. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>“Tomorrow,” Eliott agrees. Lucas turns, moving down the hallway away from him. “Lucas?” Eliott calls. Lucas turns back slightly, eyebrow raised in question. “Thank you,” Eliott forces the words through the emotion clogging his throat, “for telling me.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a second. He nods and turns. Eliott watches him until he disappears around a corner. When Eliott turns it’s to the sight of all the kids in the room staring back at him. He smiles and offers a wave and they erupt into giggles. He shakes his head with a laugh of his own and makes his way back in the direction he came. He doesn’t envy Lucas the way he’ll have to answer to those cherubic faces in the morning.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Imane’s face contorts. She’s clearly not convinced.</p><p>“Imane,” Eliott tries again as he scoops a bit of his casserole, “I really think you’re dealing with more than a medical issue here. Call for a psych consult.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” she hesitates. “It’s not that I’m opposed to psychology as a field –” Eliott snorts loudly and she raises an eyebrow. “Something to say?”</p><p>Eliott sighs, dropping his fork as he collects his thoughts. “It’s not a secret that no one ever wants to call in pscyh,” Eliott begins. “It’s too… ephemeral. You want something you can see – diagnose – treat. In ways <em>you</em> understand. But sometimes that’s not what’s best for the patient.”</p><p>“You say ‘we’ like you’re not one of us,” Imane points out, sipping her juice.</p><p>He picks back up his fork, fiddling with it as he answers. “In this – I’m not sure I am.” She opens her mouth, no doubt to disagree, so he continues, “I’m not saying I don’t belong, or that I’m not good at what I do, but you know it’s different for me. You <em>know</em>.”</p><p>She considers him for a moment before nodding. “I’ll talk to the attending. Not really my call at the end of the day anyways.”</p><p>“No one’s going to disagree with you, Imane. They wouldn’t dare.”</p><p>She grins. “Lucas says it’s my secret superpower.”</p><p>Eliott perks up. “He does?”</p><p>“His way of dealing with the fact that I win our arguments ninety-nine percent of the time.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott laughs lightly, dropping his eyes to poke his fork at his food, “he’s not a fan of being wrong.”</p><p>“That’s the understatement of the year,” she scoffs.</p><p>Eliott arches an eyebrow. “If he were here, he’d say you’re one to talk.”</p><p>“You speak for him now, do you?”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Could anyone?”</p><p>“Fair point,” Imane says, joining him in his laughter.</p><p>“These patient lab reports got shuffled a few weeks back,” Eliott begins, delighted by the opportunity to share the story, “and I knew the details of the prostate biopsy were for the patient in 1360-something, right?” Imane smiles, nodding along. “I’d chatted with the man earlier in the day, so it wasn’t some big mystery. And it definitely didn’t require an argument.”</p><p>“I’m guessing Lucas thought otherwise?” Imane asks, though it’s clear she already knows the answer.</p><p>“He was adamant he knew better,” Eliott says with a nod. “That it was a report for a patient in… I don’t even know… some other room. Pretty sure he just wanted to contradict me.”</p><p>“Well, that definitely sounds like him.”</p><p>“Neither of us wanted to go back to the lab to double-check. And of course, he wouldn’t agree to just come with me and see the man for himself.”</p><p>“Oh yes,” Imane laughs. “Far too easy.”</p><p>“So, I go with him because I knew he was walking himself right into it. I <em>knew </em>he was wrong.” He laughs, eyes drifting as he recalls the moment: Lucas’s stubborn face, his insistence that Eliott didn’t know what he was talking about, the way he’d stomped off down the hall with both reports, forcing Eliott to jog after him to keep up. For such a tiny thing, he manages to carry a lot of speed.</p><p>“Why don’t I believe this actually ended in him <em>admitting </em>he was wrong?” Imane rolls her eyes, taking a bite out of her sandwich as she listens.</p><p>“It’s Lucas Lallemant. Of course, he didn’t,” Eliott says with a grin. “So, we get to the other patient’s room and there Lucas is standing at the door with a report that reads fifty-four your old man and prostate biopsy…” He pauses for dramatic effect.</p><p>“And?” Imane prompts, happy to play along.</p><p>“And we’re both looking at a girl who can’t be a day over twenty,” Eliott finishes, grinning as Imane laughs. “The best part is, I look at him – expecting… I don’t know… that he’ll be embarrassed or contrite or… something.” He shakes his head, laughing softly as he remembers the way Lucas had turned to him, and it hadn’t been pride or shame looking back at him. Eliott hadn’t been able to entirely place that look in Lucas’s eyes. He knows what it was now. Mischief. Trouble. Lucas readying himself to <em>play</em>. “Instead he just turns to me and says, ‘He looks quite good for his age, doesn’t he?’”</p><p>Imane laughs. “Oh my – of course he did.”</p><p>Eliott’s cheeks ache with the size of his grin. “God, he was so fucking cute.” He hadn’t appreciated it at the time. He’s been too annoyed by what he’d decided was a <em>smug </em>look on Lucas’s face – the way he’d assumed Lucas was intentionally wasting his time… toying with him. And he had been, just perhaps not in the way Eliott had assumed.</p><p>“Did you tell him that?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott looks back to Imane, finding he’s lost the thread of conversation.</p><p>“That he was cute.” There’s a gentle smile on her face and while it should be anything but threatening, heat still burns in Eliott’s face as he realizes what he just admitted to her.</p><p>He coughs, dropping his eyes to the dregs of his lunch. “No,” he admits. “Pretty sure I grabbed the reports back and yelled at him for wasting our time.”</p><p>Imane laughs. “Wow. You two really are quite the pair.” Eliott looks up with a smile, quite liking the idea of being lumped in with Lucas as a pair.</p><p>“Hey!” A new body is collapsing into the seat next to Eliott with a clatter of her tray. “S’up, girl,” Emma greets, offering Imane a bizarre looking handshake.</p><p>“Good morning?” Imane asks once Emma has released her from the would-be hand trap.</p><p>“‘S’alright.” Emma shrugs, turning to look at Eliott. “You hear what was up with the surgery?”</p><p>Eliott stares at her in confusion. “What surgery?”</p><p>She rolls her eyes like it’s ridiculous Eliott isn’t already part of the conversation going on inside her head. “Lucas’s tumor.”</p><p>“His what?” Imane asks, looking aghast.</p><p>“The surgery he scrubbed in for this morning,” Eliott explains quickly, returning his attention to Emma. “What are you talking about? They shouldn’t be done for hours.”</p><p>“Exactly,” Emma agrees, popping a fry into her mouth as she talks. “Saw Juls – surgical nurse,” she adds for Imane’s benefit, “in the hall. Said they were done a half hour ago.”</p><p>“Wha – but how can that be?” Eliott asks, mind running through a litany of possibilities.</p><p><em>“Patient didn’t make it off the table.” </em>They all turn, shocked to see Lisa sitting at the table next to theirs. Eliott hadn’t even seen her arrive. Her words slowly filter to his conscious.</p><p>“What?” He gasps, horrified. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lisa nods, not looking up from her lunch. “Kid died.”</p><p>“Jesus fuck, Lisa,” Emma rebukes.</p><p>Lisa looks up. “What? Chest wall destruction due to an anterior mediastinal mass indicated lymphoma. Patient wouldn’t have lived long anyways.” Eliott knows she doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s simply Lisa’s nature to be far more emotionally detached than the rest of them. He can’t handle it right now though.</p><p>“I’m going to…” He stands, brain scrambling to outline his next steps. “I’m going to go.” He turns to leave, before spinning back around. “Sorry.” He reaches for the tray he’s left, littered with the remnants of his lunch.</p><p>“Leave it, Eliott.” Imane reaches forward to stop his hand from reaching for it. “I got it. Just go find him.” <em>Him</em>. Lucas. She’s right. It’s the thought his brain was struggling to voice. He needs to find Lucas.</p><p>He nods and doesn’t hesitate a moment longer, hurrying out of the cafeteria. He considers a number of options as to where Lucas would go. In the end, the simplest explanation is what he decides on. Eliott had briefly considered that maybe Lucas would go back to the cancer ward and find comfort in the kids but – no, he won’t want to face them right now. No, he’ll want to change… hide… get away from everyone. Eliott hopes he isn’t too late.</p><p>When he enters the locker room, it’s so perfectly silent he thinks perhaps he guessed wrong, or he is, in fact, too late and Lucas has already come and gone. Eliott moves around the lockers quietly, and the moment he turns the corner to the aisle that houses Lucas’s locker, the other boy comes into view. He doesn’t seem to be aware of Eliott’s presence. He sits on the bench in what is most certainly a new set of scrubs, unwrinkled and pristine. His hair is wet and hangs slightly down over his face. He must have showered and changed the moment he got out of surgery. Scrubbing the memories away – Eliott is familiar with the strategy. Lucas pulls at the sleeves of the long-sleeved shirt he wears under his scrubs top, in what Eliott is coming to realize is more than just a nervous tick, but a self-soothing technique.</p><p>Eliott is already intruding on a private moment and it feels wrong to do so while Lucas is unaware. He knocks gently against a locker. Despite his intention to announce his presence in the gentlest way possible, Lucas visibly jumps, head whipping up to Eliott with wide eyes. The pain reflected in them is only there for a fleeting moment before he shifts a veil down. But it’s not as impenetrable as Eliott once thought. The pain is still there, masked but throbbing beneath the surface. Eliott can feel it as though it were his own.</p><p>“Why are you here?” It’s sharp and direct. Eliott can recognize immediately that Lucas is leaning on old, familiar habits.</p><p>“I heard about the surgery.” He moves to sit down on the bench and Lucas’s eyes move away, staring straight forward at the lockers facing him. Eliott drops his eyes to his own hands, focusing on them so he won’t stare at Lucas. “I’m so sorry, Lucas.”</p><p>“What are you sorry about?” Lucas scoffs, and Eliott can’t help but look back up at him. An unintentional response to the callous and cold way he’s spoken. “You weren’t there, were you?”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott gentles his voice even further in response to the steel in Lucas’s, “it’s ok to be upset.”</p><p>“I’m not <em>upset</em>,” Lucas cuts his eyes back to Eliott, expression fierce. “This is what we do, <em>Eliott</em>.” He speaks Eliott’s name as though talking to a child, haughty and patronizing. He’s trying to bait him into a fight, but Eliott won’t be baited. Not this time. This moment is too important. “People die,” Lucas continues with a sneer. “You’re not going to be able to save everyone. You should get used to that now. Not like I was the one holding the scalpel. I didn’t kill her.” His voice breaks on the last word and he looks quickly away, swallowing around the emotion he nearly let break.</p><p>Eliott lets the silence between them rest for a moment. He considers the words sitting at the tip of his tongue. He doesn’t want to make this moment about himself, but his gut is telling him to share – to <em>give</em> Lucas this part of himself. To match Lucas’s unplanned vulnerability, with the deliberate choice to share his own. “Do you know why I decided to become a surgeon?” He sees Lucas twitch, a reaction he quickly tamps down.</p><p>“You haven’t ever told me so… no.” The reply is snide, but Eliott doesn’t react to it.</p><p>“You know how they tell you not to get set on a specialty? Try to scare us by saying most won’t even survive the program, never mind end up in the specialty we think we want as fresh-faced newbies…”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, kicking his feet out slightly from under the bench and keeping his eyes on them as he shuffles them back and forth. “Yeah. Point?”</p><p>“Point is, I’ve always known what my specialty will be. It’s not…” He shakes his head, inhaling a shaky breath as he realizes he’s a lot more nervous to share this than he’d like. “It’s not something I really tell people.”</p><p>“So what?” Lucas looks up with a roll of his eyes. “You’re just saying it to be mysterious?”</p><p>Eliott exhales a soft laugh, letting Lucas’s biting comment read like humour, helping to relax the tense set of Eliott’s body. “I want to be a neurosurgeon.” That catches Lucas’s attention, and he looks up, meeting Eliott’s eyes. Eliott breathes steadily, refusing to look away or back down from his declaration. Lucas’s response isn’t shocked as Eliott had expected, however. And it’s not disbelieving or mocking as Eliott had feared. No, instead he just looks curious… intrigued even.</p><p>“Neurosurgery? Why?”</p><p>Eliott licks his lips, turning his own attention towards the lockers as he answers. “I sort of became obsessed with the brain when I was a kid – or well, teen, I guess. How it worked – <em>why </em>it worked the way it did. The idea of knowing it – controlling it, <em>changing </em>it – I wanted that.”</p><p>“And you say I have a god complex.”</p><p> Eliott looks up with a laugh to see a small smile on Lucas’s face. “To be fair, at the start it wasn’t really about knowing anyone else’s brain. Just my own.”</p><p>“Why?” There’s a teasing tone to Lucas’s voice as he asks. “Was it not providing the grades mummy and daddy wanted? Were they threatening to take away your allowance?”</p><p>Eliott gives Lucas his best unimpressed look though he can’t help but smile while doing so. It’s a welcome relief to see a lightness returned to Lucas’s face, and Eliott hates to dampen his renewed spirits but he’s not done saying what he needs to yet.</p><p>“No, nothing like that.” He takes a deep breath, looking away. “I had my first manic episode when I was sixteen.” Lucas goes instantly still and silent at his side. Eliott doesn’t dare look at him. Not yet. He needs to say this first, before the fear takes hold and he loses the nerve to do so. “I was diagnosed as bipolar shortly after. It made sense. It was a perfect explanation for a lot of my behaviour through childhood – up to that point. I think my parents were relieved.” He laughs – or tries to. It falls short, a choked around caught in his throat. “They were just happy to put a name to it. To have books they could buy, therapists they could hand me off to, meds they could put in front of me every morning – every night.” Eliott doesn’t resent them for it. They’d tried their absolute best, got him the best help money could buy. It wasn’t their fault that they hadn’t realized what he’d needed the most was someone to hold him, tell him he wasn’t alone, that they would be there… that he didn’t have to have it all figured out. That he was still allowed to fuck up and they’d <em>still</em> be there.</p><p>“And you?”</p><p>Eliott jumps slightly at the sound of Lucas’s voice, turning to see Lucas’s eyes on him. He looks… Eliott isn’t entirely sure. His expression is gentle, cautious even, but there’s something once more unreadable about it, something he’s tucked behind the veil that Eliott just can’t reach.</p><p>“I was…” Eliott shakes his head, exhaling heavily. “Less happy. To say the least. And things didn’t exactly get better. It took a while to figure out my medication. I lost half a year of school. And I was still with Lucille and… things just weren’t good.” It remains one of the darkest times in Eliott’s life, even now, years removed, Eliott finds the blackness of the memories seeping into his blood. “I must have thought a million times that I’d rather trade brains with someone than live… that life. My life.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes dropping to the floor, forehead bunching as he thinks before his gaze finds Eliott again. “So, you got into medicine? Because you wanted to study the brain? To… what? Understand your own better? Or <em>were</em> you hoping to change it?” The questions are far more direct than Eliott’s used to receiving when discussing his mental illness. Most people are afraid to even ask questions – scared to upset him or get something wrong. Lucas apparently doesn’t have the same qualms. It’d oddly soothing.</p><p>“Not exactly,” Eliott says with a wry smile. “Everyone I knew – well, everyone but Idriss – were pretty skeptical about me choosing medicine. I’d fucked up so many times. My parents were used to bailing me out – sometimes literally. And I was… tired of it. I didn’t want to ask for the help anymore – I didn’t want to <em>have </em>to ask for help.”</p><p>Lucas smiles wryly. “Didn’t want handouts.” The irony of the statement hangs in the air, Lucas undoubtedly remembering his words to Eliott on the first night they met.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, swallowing nervously before admitting, “wrack up enough debt on my credit card one night while manic and take shitty modeling jobs to pay it off rather than tell my parents… rather than tell anyone.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him, surprise and something like regret shining in his eyes. “Dammit,” he exhales. “I think you’re the exact opposite of me. Actually making it on your own.”</p><p>Eliott wants to ask what he means… why Lucas sees that as the opposite of himself but now is now the time. “I don’t really,” Eliott clarifies. “I still rely on my parents for a lot. But this – medicine… surgery. I wanted it to be mine. All of them… my family… some of my friends… when they figured out that I wasn’t about to change my mind, they all assumed I’d pursue psychiatry.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small sound of humour, head tipping back to look towards the roof as he smiles. “Pretty sure I said the same thing that first week.” He looks back at Eliott. “Said if you wanted to be a therapist to all the patients –”</p><p>“I picked the wrong field, but it wasn’t too late to back out, grab some tissue and cry alongside my patients.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows fly up, obviously surprised by Eliott’s ability to quote him so perfectly from memory. He nods, and perhaps Eliott is projecting but his smile reads as apologetic. “Have a particularly dickish way with words, don’t I?”</p><p>Eliott hums and doesn’t disagree. “Think I chose surgery – out of spite at the beginning. Wanted to prove everyone wrong more than anything else. Not just my friends – my family. My teachers too. Everyone who said I was too soft for it.”</p><p>“And now?” Lucas asks. “Is that still why?”</p><p>“No.” Eliott shakes his head, looking back to Lucas. “I want it now. Not just to prove them wrong, but for me. I’m good at it. I like it. And it become more to me than… my past. My mental illness. Something I wanted to change. It’s different now.”</p><p>Lucas nods and silence stretches between them for a time, until he finally speaks. “Why are you telling me all this?”</p><p>Eliott considers the question, a little shocked he’s shared as much as he has, and not entirely sure he has a perfect answer. “I wanted you to know we’re all struggling with this – who we are in this world. That it’s ok to be more than the stone-cold surgeon. It’s possible to be… <em>soft</em>. To feel and still do this job well. All of us are hiding layers.”</p><p>Lucas suddenly stands, body tense, and Eliott stares up at him in shock at the abrupt change in his demeanor. “So, you’re giving me <em>permission</em> to have emotions? Is that it? How generous of you. Would hate to think what would become of me if you weren’t here to tell me to cry.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott denies quickly, standing as well, but with hands raised as though to calm a wild animal. “I didn’t mean it like that. I wasn’t trying to patronize you. I only wanted you to know you’re not alone. I feel just as much and –”</p><p>“You weren’t there,” Lucas cuts him off. “You didn’t watch her die on that table when there was nothing you could do.” The veil is nowhere to be seen. Emotion floods his eyes and Eliott fears he might be unprepared to deal with the fallout. “She was <em>ten years old</em>, Eliott. And her life is just… done. Snuffed out. That’s it.”</p><p>“I – I know, Lucas. I only–”</p><p>“And you get to be sad about it. You get to be as <em>emotional</em> as you want.”</p><p>“You do too. If you just let yourself –”</p><p>“<em>Feel?</em>” Lucas scoffs. “No, I don’t. Not like you. That’s what you don’t get. We’re not the same. My career is not yours.”</p><p>Eliott’s face pulls in confusion. “I don’t – what do you mean?”</p><p>“Look at you.” Lucas gestures with a hand at the span of Eliott’s body, laughing without any humour. “You can be as soft as you like but you’re still <em>that</em>.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott isn’t following at all, feeling as though he’s been treading water up to this point but now the water slowly seeps over his mouth, into his lungs.</p><p>“You’re…” Lucas waves a hand about frustrated. “<em>Manly</em>. Respected. You sleep with women and everybody in this place fucking falls over themselves at the sight of you. You’re fucking gorgeous and you can get whoever you want. And no one doubts it – no one doubts <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“I don’t understand,” Eliott says, flabbergasted. “You’re all those things too. I mean, aside from the women –”</p><p>“That’s just it!” Lucas cries out. He pulls a hand through his hair, tugging in frustration. “I’m <em>gay</em>, Eliott.”</p><p>“I know that.”</p><p>“You don’t though,” Lucas disagrees. “Not really. You think I can be like you – out and proud, sweet and soft – and be taken seriously? I’m… small,” he says the word with obvious reluctance, “and ‘effeminate.’” The word is in clear quotation marks, obviously something he’s been told before. “You think someone who looks like me can be the gay guy in the locker room and come out of this alive?”</p><p>“But…” Eliott’s mind is reeling. “You don’t hide it.” He’s fairly certain that is true. Lucas dating <em>fucking Jeremy</em> would seem to indicate as much.</p><p>“I can’t,” Lucas admits. “Found that out pretty early in med school. But I can shape how people see me – that’s it not the first thing they think. I can be an asshole, a hard ass, the <em>best</em> – everything I need to be to be taken seriously.” A more complete image of Lucas takes shape in Eliott’s mind, missing pieces clicking into place. The result he’s left with – the fired up boy spitting fire in front of him – is… nothing short of incredible.</p><p>Eliott lets the tension of the moment dissipate, relaxing his posture. “But… I know who you are.” The words are heavy, but Eliott means them completely. “The asshole,” he smiles a little, “the hard ass, the best… but… <em>more</em>,” Lucas’s eyes are fixed on him as Eliott continues, “and I take you seriously. I know you’re a good surgeon – that you’ll be a great surgeon.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, eyes tracing the features of Eliott’s face. The stiff set of his shoulder’s eases. “Not everyone’s like you, Eliott. You’re… kind. And generous. You think the best of people.”</p><p>“And you don’t think other people are like that?”</p><p>“Not in my experience.”  </p><p>Eliott contemplates that for a moment. “I’m not sure I could do it,” he admits. “Pretending to be someone else. I spent too many years trying to do that.”</p><p>“I’m not pretending,” Lucas disagrees. “I just don’t need everyone to see all parts of me. But I’m still me. Even in this place.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth pulls up in a slanted smile. “Well, I guess that’s true. Asshole is definitely one of your more defining personality traits.”</p><p>Lucas breathes through a laugh. “True. I’ve nurtured that trait through the years in preparation for dealing with you.”</p><p>“I’m touched.”</p><p>Lucas’s expression grows more serious. “So, just let me be <em>not </em>sad, ok?”</p><p>“But you <em>are </em>sad,” Eliott contradicts, knowing he’s playing with fire but there’s an honesty between them at present he wants to stay true to.</p><p>“Not here. Not now,” Lucas explains, eyes pleading. “I can be – <em>whatever</em> later. I can’t do that here.”</p><p>Eliott nods, understanding resonating to the marrow of his bones. “Yeah. Ok. But later, are you –” Lucas’s phone buzzes loudly on the bench, and his attention moves to it immediately. His face drops as he looks at the notification.</p><p>“Fuck,” he says with feeling, looking back up at Eliott. “You better go.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks confused. “Why?” The door to the locker room swings open and a voice is calling Lucas’s name. Eliott recognizes that voice… <em>fucking</em> –</p><p>“Jeremy,” Lucas greets as he comes into view from Lucas’s other side. “I told you I was fine.”</p><p>Jeremy’s gaze darts between them both, smile plastered to his face but there’s a sharpness to his eyes Eliott hasn’t seen before – or maybe he just wasn’t looking.</p><p>“I know, but I was worried about you.” He moves to spread a hand across Lucas’s back. Eliott clenches a fist tightly at his side, digging fingernails into his palm. “Eliott,” Jeremy directs towards him, “you came to check on Lucas?”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott looks at Jeremy’s earnest face and does his best to appear agreeable and not like he’s picturing unspeakable skin maladies befalling him. “No. We just ran into one another.” He looks at Lucas. “Lucas doesn’t need me checking on him.” Lucas’s lips press together, stretching in a smile he can’t quite help. “Anyways,” he offers Jeremy a nod, “I’ve got things I need to do so…”</p><p>Jeremy looks all too happy to hear this, nodding eagerly. “Sure. We’ll see you around.” <em>We</em>. He said <em>we</em>, like he speaks for both he and Lucas. Necrotizing fasciitis is perhaps too cruel a wish. Leprosy? No… cruel <em>and </em>insensitive. Warts then. Eliott wishes him lots and lots of warts.</p><p>Eliott runs into Mika almost immediately after leaving the locker room.</p><p>“There’s my second favourite kitten,” Mika says as greeting.</p><p>“Second favourite?” Eliott asks with a slight laugh. Mika merely raises one eyebrow as answer. “Lucas,” Eliott answers for him. “Right.”</p><p>“Speaking of that feisty little fluffball with claws… you seen him?”</p><p>“Lucas?”</p><p>Mika, who had been searching the hall around them, stops at this, eyes moving back to Eliott and narrowed in suspicion. “That is who we were just talking about.” He eyeballs Eliott for another few extended seconds. “What are you hiding, Demaury?”</p><p><em>Fuck</em>. Eliott’s always been too transparent when emotions are concerned. “Nothing,” he says in what he knows is the least convincing tone that’s ever come from his mouth. “Why do you need him?” He tries instead.</p><p>“Hm.” Mika is plainly not convinced but doesn’t seem too interested in interrogating Eliott either. “Heard his surgery didn’t go the way we hoped. Putting him on family liaison. Nothing like giving good news to families to turn a day around.” That is the absolute <em>last </em>thing Lucas needs. Eliott isn’t surprised Mika wouldn’t understand that – Mika has a habit of seeing he and Lucas as one in the same. But Eliott knows better. Lucas will avoid situations with heightened emotions like the plague.</p><p>“I’ll do it.”</p><p>Now he’s <em>really</em> captured Mika’s attention. “Excuse me?”</p><p>“Whatever you need, Mika. I got it.”</p><p>Mika is looking at him like he’s grown a second head. “I can’t tell if you’re covering for him or trying to screw him over.” He sighs. “You two are exhausting. I’m definitely losing the pool.”</p><p>“The pool?”</p><p>Mika slaps the folders to his chest. “If you insist, Demaury, have at it.” He backs away with a finger raised. “But don’t think for one second you’ve got me fooled. I may not know what I know, but when I know, <em>ohhhhh</em>, then you’ll know.” With that, he turns and saunters away.</p><p>Eliott stares after him, perplexed. He doesn’t have the energy to try to figure Mika out. As a matter of fact, he feels emotionally wrung out. He stares down at the large stack of folders in his arms, and sighs deeply. In saving Lucas from this duty, he’s saddled himself with the emotionally taxing assignment.</p><p>He thinks of Lucas as he found him in the locker room, devastated and so very fragile. Then he thinks of how he left him, sweet smile and bolstered spirit (he omits Jeremy from the memory). It’s worth it. He turns to get to work.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Unsurprisingly, Lucas makes himself impossible to find in the days following their heart-to-heart in the locker room. Eliott won’t apologize for thinking of it as such. That’s what it was – an understanding shared that came from the very core of who they both were. It had been… special… important. And Eliott had been looking forward to seeing Lucas in the days following – asking him how he was and listening to the answer with newfound understanding. Come to think of it, that’s likely exactly why Lucas had made himself invisible through the beginning of the week. He’s likely gone full-on hedgehog and pulled that vulnerable underbelly right back in, leaving only spikes. Eliott smiles at the thought.</p><p>He hands the chart back to Laura, the nurse assisting him, asking briefly after her boyfriend and the date night she’d been planning for them the previous weekend, before he leaves, making his way back towards the nurses station where he’s sure to find Mika as they’re closing in on the end of shift. It’s just as he turns the corner and he spots Mika in the distance, that someone is grabbing his arm. He swings around, more than a little disappointed to realize it’s not Lucas as he had hoped but… Jeremy?</p><p>“Hi?” Eliott stares at him, a little confused and perhaps annoyed – he can’t help it, ok! Jeremy brings it out in him.</p><p>“Hey!” Jeremy’s nearly vibrating with nervous energy and… is that sweat dripping down his face? What the… “How are you?” He asks.</p><p>“I’m fine. Is there something you need?” Eliott responds, curt and to the point. He’s not being <em>rude</em>. He’s just not going out of his way to be particularly nice either.</p><p>“Yeah, uh…” Jeremy’s eyes dart around them, until they land on a door to their side. “Could we talk for a minute?” He’s pointing to the on-call room… the on-call room Eliott and Lucas had…</p><p>“It needs to be alone?” Eliott asks, distinctly uncomfortable now.</p><p>“If you don’t mind.”</p><p>Eliott nods, searching for an alternative. He tips his head down the hall instead. “The break room.”</p><p>“Oh! Sure. Yeah, that’s… sure.” Jeremy follows at Eliott’s side, wringing his hands in front of him the whole time, and Eliott might not know exactly what this is about but he has a feeling he’s not going to like it.</p><p>He turns towards Jeremy the moment they’re inside the thankfully empty break room, crossing his arms against his chest and staring at him expectantly.</p><p>“Right.” Jeremy nods as if Eliott has spoken. “So… I should probably just get right to it then.” Despite his words, he moves towards the table, sitting on its edge as he continues to sputter around the point. “This is a bit odd and not really something I’m used to doing. It’s not that I think you’re going to – I mean, I know you’ll be cool –”</p><p>“Jeremy,” Eliott interrupts in exasperation, “I need to go over some things with Mika. Could you just tell me what you need?”</p><p>Jeremy looks up at him, a look of determination overcoming him. He stands. “I heard you’re into men as well as women.” Eliott stares at him. Of all the things he expected Jeremy to say, that wasn’t even on the list. It wasn’t even in the same country as the list. “I know that must seem like an inappropriate thing to say,” Jeremy continues. “But is it true?”</p><p>Eliott exhales a disbelieving breath. “What does my sexuality have to do with anything?” He thinks he might know, and it rhymes with Tucus.</p><p>“You and Lucas,” Jeremy continues, confirming Eliott’s fears, “lately you seem to be… getting along.”</p><p>“What’s your point, Jeremy?” Eliott sighs, latching onto annoyance to cover for the discomfort this conversation is causing him. “If you want to know about Lucas, or… <em>me and Lucas</em>,” He’ll admit that he relishes saying it, “then ask him.”</p><p>“Oh no,” Jeremy dismisses with a nervous laugh. “It’s not like that.”</p><p>Eliott raises an impatient eyebrow. “Then what?”</p><p>Jeremy sighs, holding Eliott’s eyes. A suddenly much more serious look in his own. “He’s attracted to you.” Eliott freezes. “And I think you’re attracted to him too.”</p><p>“I don’t –”</p><p>Jeremy cuts him off with a hand raised. “Please just let me get this out.” Eliott nods, feeling a little sweaty himself now. “I like Lucas, and I want to give him what he needs.” He turns and starts pacing in front of the table as he speaks. “And if that’s you, then I can handle that. I can –”</p><p>“What the fuck is this about?” Eliott cuts him off, wishing he could hit eject on this entire conversation. “Are you and Lucas even together? Were you ever?” It’s a question Eliott has been wanting to ask Lucas. He’d thought the answer was obvious, but doubts have niggled at the back of his mind.</p><p>“We’ve slept together,” Jeremy answers, one half boastful, one half abashed. Eliott wishes him something far worse than mere warts this time. “And I’d like for that to happen again.” Necrotizing Fasciitis would be too kind. “That’s where you come in.” Maybe some sort of bacterial infection that spreads… wait, <em>what?</em></p><p>“Me?” Eliott’s voice has risen several notches without his consent, resembling something like a squeak.</p><p>“A threesome.”</p><p>“A threesome?” Fuck. He swears he has vocal chords are capable of lower octaves. Eliott clears his throat and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment while he’s at it. But when they open, Jeremy is still there, standing in front of him, suggesting a threesome.</p><p>“Yes,” Jeremy unfortunately confirms. “He’s into you. And I’m…” He purses his lips, inspecting Eliott as though he’s a suspicious mole he’s only just noticed. “I’m open to it. I think it’s what he needs. A little excitement, you know?” No, Eliott absolutely does not. No, no, no. Please someone, somewhere save him from this conversation. “He wasn’t totally – he needs this to get into it. Into me. I think it would be good. For him. For us.” Oh god. Eliott’s going to vomit right on his shoes. “And I figured, you’re into guys too, so…”</p><p>Eliott sees an opportunity for a feeling other than nausea and clings to it. “You think just because I’m pan, I’ll sleep with anyone? That I’ll jump at the chance for a threesome because… why? My sexuality makes me promiscuous, is that it? Always up for it?”</p><p>Jeremy doesn’t look particularly phased by Eliott’s outrage. “I think you’re up for it because you’re into Lucas.” The statement halts the rest of Eliott’s tirade in his throat. “I see the way you look at him. The way you’ve <em>always </em>looked at him. And if he’s hot for you or whatever, then fine. This way you can get it out of your system.” Right, well… that certainly couldn’t be farther from the truth. If only Jeremy was aware Eliott knew that from <em>experience</em>.</p><p>“No.” Eliott has a lot more to say but that will have to do.</p><p>“Eliott –” Jeremy tries, but Eliott is one hundred percent done with this conversation. Scrubbing his brain with industrial grade disinfectant is in order.</p><p>“No. I’m – no. Just, no.” He turns and moves for the door.</p><p>“Would you at least think about it?” Jeremy calls out after him as Eliott escapes. Thinking about it is unfortunately something Eliott doesn’t think he’ll be able to stop doing. And the thought… of Jeremy and Lucas… of <em>sharing </em>Lucas… it’s like a waking nightmare. A waking <em>recurring </em>nightmare – flashes of the conversation and Jeremy’s words bombarding Eliott as he staggers down the hall.</p><p>His feet seem to know where to carry him and he finds himself next to Mika. Idriss is behind the nurse’s desk, setting down a phone just as Eliott comes to a stop.</p><p>“Why do you look like someone died?” Idriss asks. “Wait – did someone die?”</p><p>Eliott groans, laying his arms against the counter and collapsing headfirst into them.</p><p>“What’s up, chicken nugget?” Mika asks from his side, rubbing a comforting hand against Eliott’s back. “I didn’t even give you the shitty jobs today.”</p><p>“Jeremy asked me to be in a threesome.”</p><p>Mika’s hand has frozen on Eliott’s back. “I’m sorry, could you repeat that?”</p><p>Eliott raises his head to look miserably between Idriss and Mika. He keeps his voice low but enunciates clearly. “Jeremy asked me to be in a threesome with him and Lucas.”</p><p>Idriss only stares at Eliott for one more second before he erupts into laughter, falling forward on the desk and slapping a hand against it in a display that is a little bit much.</p><p>“Oh, that poor boy,” Mika hums.</p><p>“Poor boy?” Eliott squawks, rounding on him. “Poor me! I had to stand there and listen to him… talk about it… talk about Lucas…”</p><p>“Stop, stop,” Idriss laughs, wiping tears from his face. “I can’t take it!”</p><p>“Yes, well…” Mika stands back slightly, giving Eliott a pointed look. What the point is, Eliott isn’t too sure yet. “You’re not the rejected sad sack trying to capture Lucas’s attention by any number of desperate measures, are you?” In all honesty, that <em>does </em>sound like something Eliott would do, but…</p><p>“What do you mean?”</p><p>“What I mean is, you’ve never had to try.” Mika exchanges an indiscernible look with Idriss who has at least managed to get his laughter under control. “Whether he’s been wanting to bite your head off or…” His eyes drop down Eliott’s body, “Bite your head off… you’ve always had Lucas’s attention.”</p><p>Eliott hadn’t… thought of it like that. But it’s true. And it’s a reciprocal truth. He and Lucas have never… <em>not </em>been keenly aware of one another. It’s been both the bane of Eliott’s existence as well as the fire under his ass every day; what keeps him moving, pushing, trying. Lucas has always been there.</p><p>“Hunh.”</p><p>He becomes aware of Idriss once more laughing, and a few barbs by Mika thrown his way but he can’t give them any attention, letting the two have fun at his expense as he gets lost in his thoughts.</p><p>He has Lucas’s <em>attention.</em></p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * * </p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott doesn’t get Lucas alone until Thursday. And even then, it’s not <em>alone</em>, alone. He needs advice regarding a potentially abnormal finding on a patient’s bloodwork before he goes to Mika. While their resident might come across more friend than boss, with his affectionate nicknames and empathetic nature, he has very little tolerance for interns wasting his time. When it comes to the trials of one’s personal life, he has all the time in the world. Work-related inquiries on the other hand, you best come with a succinct and educated game plan. Asking the advice of a fellow intern prior to approaching Mika is the option least likely to result in Eliott getting his ass handed to him. And if that means asking <em>Lucas </em>for advice… well that’s just convenient.</p><p>It’s not that it was particularly planned. Eliott is seeking out someone when he just happens to see Lucas. Serendipity. He’s in a patient’s room speaking to the older gentleman, and Eliott knocks softly on the door before entering. Lucas glances up, expression registering surprise as his eyes land on Eliott, before he returns his attention to the patient.</p><p>“So, tomorrow’s all about education, ok?” Lucas says.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah. Heard you the first twenty times,” the man grumbles, though there’s an affectionate undertone to it that Eliott can’t help but relate to. As though the man’s equally frustrated and charmed by Lucas. It’s familiar.</p><p>“And you’ll hear me another twenty times until you start taking me seriously,” Lucas lectures.</p><p>“How can I not?” The man scoffs. “You’re a bigger hard-ass than my boss. And he’s been in the trucking business for forty years.” Eliott smiles, thinking back to their conversation in the locker room. Lucas really does make a name for himself wherever he goes.</p><p>“What did you need, Dr. Demaury?”</p><p>Eliott looks up in surprise to see Lucas’s expectant eyes on him. “Oh.” He raises the charts in his hand. “I wanted to seek your advice on something.”</p><p>“Fine.” He nods, curt and professional, but that’s not unlike Lucas. He moves to the end of the patient’s bed and slightly away. Eliott follows, handing over the charts.</p><p>“I’m sorry for the interruption,” Eliott offers the patient.</p><p>“Don’t be,” the man snorts. “Get him off my ass for a minute.”</p><p>Lucas looks to the man unimpressed. “Pipe down or I’m signing you up for that class twice.” The man raises his hands in surrender, chuckling as he picks up a magazine next to his bed and busies himself with it. Lucas’s attention drops to the chart, lowering his voice. “What am I supposed to be noticing?”</p><p>“The CRP values,” Eliott says as he indicates the area he’s referring to on the chart. “The inflammation shown is unusual for a patient of this age. It could be an indication of something more serious. Infection or…” He doesn’t want to say the word but its necessary in this context, and he does so as gently as possible. “Cancer.”</p><p>Lucas looks up at him, expression skeptical, before he returns his attention to the numbers before him. “I assume you got her life story when doing medical history?”</p><p>Eliott smiles with a shrug. “I suppose.”</p><p>“She’s an athlete?”</p><p>“A dancer,” Eliott supplies. “Since she could walk. This whole thing – the surgery and months of recovery time – it’s all been really rough on her. All she wants is to be a prima ballerina.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Lucas cuts him off with an irritated wave of the papers and raised voice. “I didn’t say <em>I </em>needed her life story.” A sound like a smothered laugh comes from the patient’s bed but Lucas ignores it.</p><p>“Right, yeah.” Eliott nods, smiling in what he hopes reads as supportive agreement. “Of course not. Sorry.” Lucas is giving him that look again: narrow-eyed and suspicious. Eliott isn’t sure what to make of it yet.</p><p>“Go talk to her again,” Lucas commands. “This time instead of asking her about the newest drama with her besties, why don’t you try asking her some medical questions just for fun?” His tone is mocking and his smile snide. “See if she’s got any symptoms beyond fatigue… changes to her range of motion, joint stiffness, pain, swelling… anything clicking yet?”</p><p>Eliott’s brows pull together. “You’re thinking arthritis? She’s twenty.”</p><p>“And she’s been a dancer since she could walk. She’s probably been experiencing symptoms for years but chalked it up to her training.”</p><p>“Hunh.” Eliott considers this. It would account for the inflammation shown in her blood. And it aligns perfectly with the patient’s history. It’s… “Brilliant.” He smiles widely. “I mean, not that she might have rheumatoid arthritis,” he schools his expression to something less celebratory, “but that’s really smart. I don’t know why my mind went to worst case scenarios. Thank you. Really. I owe you.” He offers Lucas a gentle smile as he takes the chart back. “I’ll get to it then.” One last apology to the patient for interrupting and he moves to leave.</p><p>“I have a lab report I need picked up.”</p><p>“Sorry?” Eliott turns back to Lucas, eyebrows raised in question.</p><p>“A lab report,” Lucas repeats. “Get it for me?”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott shrugs at the odd request but… he has time… if he shuffles around a few things. “Sure.” He tips his head with a smile and turns to continue down the hallway. He hasn’t made it far before he hears Lucas calling out for him as he follows.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury!”</p><p>Eliott turns, smiling as he sees Lucas jogging after him. “Dr. Lallemant,” he teases when Lucas is in closer earshot.</p><p>“What is your problem?!”</p><p>Eliott’s smile drops. “What?”</p><p>“You heard me,” Lucas spits, moving into Eliott’s space so he doesn’t have to raise his voice. “What the fuck is your problem?”</p><p>“I – what?” Eliott asks flabbergasted. “I don’t have a problem. What did I do?”</p><p>“I was treating you like shit in there,” Lucas says fiercely. “You just <em>took</em> it. Why?”</p><p>Eliott is so taken aback, he doesn’t even know how to respond. Being called out for being <em>nice </em>to Lucas is not a concern he had on his radar. “I was just… being kind. You’re under a lot of stress right now and –”</p><p>“Oh, fuck off!” Lucas scoffs. “I don’t need to be <em>babied </em>by fucking anyone, Eliott. Least of all you. I don’t need you holding my hand, ok? I’m not your special pity case, you got that?”</p><p>“I never said you were,” Eliott says, feeling a little fired up himself now. “Compassion doesn’t equal pity.”</p><p>“Thanks for the lecture on semantics.” Lucas rolls his eyes. “I don’t need your <em>compassion</em> either. I’m not in fucking mourning. I’m a surgeon.”</p><p>“Jesus!” Eliott erupts before quickly lowering his voice once more as he attracts interested eyes from those around them. “I know that, Lucas. I can hardly miss it, can I? Not when you’re the biggest dickhead surgeon there is! You don’t need to bite my head off every freaking time I’m polite. But you know what? Fine. I won’t do it again. Pick up your own goddamn lab.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth twitches at the corners, a beginning of a smile, before he spins on his heel and strides back in the direction he came. Eliott stares after him, feeling like somehow, despite having the last word… Lucas just won.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott has plans to arrive early. It’s odd but, despite Lucas’s practice of thinking ten minutes late is twenty minutes early, Eliott has never managed to arrive to a gathering with their friends before him. Granted that might have had something to do with Lucas arriving with Manon – she doesn’t seem like the type to be late. And Lucas’s tardiness, at least where work is concerned, is nothing Eliott will ever be able to look upon with disdain after finding out the reason. Warmth fills Eliott’s chest at the memory. He hasn’t had a chance to give Lucas his copy of Le Petit Prince. It will have to wait until Eliott visits home and can retrieve his copy, still tucked away in his parents library. Eliott makes a note to do so.</p><p><em>Anyways</em>, the point is… he was going to be early. He had a plan. He’d arrive early, have a chance to relax around his friends, and figure out some sort of… strategy… game plan… for the fact that he was going to see Lucas tonight when he’s not even quite sure how they left things between them. Only then he accidentally smeared toothpaste on his t-shirt and had to spent ten minutes scrubbing it out – the boys are right, this shirt does bring out his eyes and he’s not about to change it. And then his hair was being less ‘perfectly tousled’ than ‘I’ve never cared about personal hygiene messy’. In conclusion, it really isn’t his fault that his plan went up in a flame spurred by excessive hair spray.</p><p>By the time Eliott is standing outside Idriss and Sofiane’s apartment door, he can already hear the raised voices and laughter of his friends inside. He takes a deep breathe and pushes the door open with a knock and called, “Hey!”</p><p>“Finally!” Idriss yells from the kitchen, head popping into view. “Thought you were bailing.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “Like you would have stood for that.”</p><p>Idriss shrugs in obvious agreement. “Sometimes you need a little push.” He gives Eliott a slow up-and-down perusal with his eyes. “Lookin’ good, bro.” It’s like he can sense that second shower Eliott took in a panic after overuse of hairspray left him smelling like a chemistry experiment gone wrong.</p><p>“Uh hunh.” Eliott reaches to hang his jacket by the door, looking back to Idriss. “Are you wearing an apron?” He moves to join Idriss in the kitchen.</p><p>“Gettin’ my domestic kitchen duties on,” Idriss supplies as answer.</p><p>“Only took twenty-seven years!” Imane yells from the living room. Visible through the open counter space from the kitchen, she sits with Sofiane and Manon.</p><p>Idriss scoffs, turning her direction to call back. “Like you would’a let me help when you were too busy trying to poison me.”</p><p>“That was <em>once</em>,” Imane defends as she turns to Manon. “And it was totally accidental.” Sofiane laughs, pulling her in by the shoulders to plant a kiss on her cheek.</p><p>Eliott loses the rest of their conversation to the roaring in his ears the second Lucas comes into view behind Idriss. His back is to them as he does something on the kitchen counter, but his profile is slightly in view as he turns it to the conversation, smiling as Idriss and Imane bicker.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott greets, moving around Idriss to approach Lucas.</p><p>Lucas’s face turns towards Eliott, but his attention stays on the items in front of him on the counter. “Hey.”</p><p>“What are you doing?” Eliott asks curiously, looking down at the assortment of vegetables set in front of Lucas.</p><p>Lucas makes a small sound of annoyance. “What does it look like I’m doing?”</p><p>“Punishing vegetables for their unspeakable crimes against you?” Eliott says, tilting his head and cringing at the way Lucas is holding the knife.</p><p>Lucas snorts, the beginnings of a laugh before he muzzles it with a cough. “No. I’m chopping them for Idriss.”</p><p>“Who saddled you with this job?” Eliott scoffs, finding it hard to believe Lucas would have jumped at the chance.</p><p>“I offered,” Lucas contradicts. “Stop being a dickhead.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Sorry, sorry. I’ve just never seen vegetables chopped quite like that. Or a knife held like that.”</p><p>“What’s wrong with the way I hold the knife?” Lucas asks, swinging on Eliott with knife in hand. Eliott takes a necessary step back.</p><p>“Well, for one,” he reaches forward, taking Lucas’s hand and with some difficulty repositioning the knife, “you were holding that like you wanted to murder someone, not chop vegetables.”</p><p>“The night’s still young,” Lucas says with what can only be described as a threatening smile.</p><p>“Uh hunh,” Eliott replies, unimpressed. He points at the half-chopped vegetables. “And chopping them all different sizes like that just means they’ll cook at different rates.”</p><p>“So?” Lucas scoffs, but he looks back at the vegetables hesitantly. “There’s all different kinds. They’re gonna cook differently anyways.”</p><p>“True,” Eliott hums, deciding the throw him a bone. He saddles up next to Lucas, bumping into him slightly as he positions himself to be in front of the assortment on the counter. “But see this?” He lifts a bit of chopped carrot. “It’s all carrot but it’s all different sizes…” He lifts an even larger bit. “By a lot.”</p><p>Lucas smacks the piece from his fingers, sending it tumbling back to the counter. “Stop being sizest.”</p><p>It startles a laugh out of Eliott, and Lucas looks back up with a proud little smile. “Well, by all means then,” he turns, hopping up to sit on the counter next to the chopping board, “don’t let me stop you. Carry on.”</p><p>“You’re just gonna sit there and judge?” Lucas questions with eyes narrowed.</p><p>“No judgment here,” Eliott denies, watching Lucas as he moves the knife once more to its former position. “Though I can’t help but wonder how the same person who holds a scalpel perfectly, holds a kitchen cutting knife like that.”</p><p>“Vegetables are different,” Lucas says with a shrug as he continues to stab a bell pepper.</p><p>“Than a human body? You don’t say.”</p><p>Lucas looks up from his task, unimpressed, pointing the knife threateningly at Eliott. “Keep that up, buddy, but you’re sitting right next to this chopping board. One wrong slip of the hand and I’m cutting that dick right off.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, leaning on a hand to drop his head slightly closer. “Why would you do that when you like it so much?”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, eyes dropping back to his task, he keeps his voice low. “I like dick. Yours was just there.”</p><p>Well… Eliott knows that is just <em>not </em>true. “Evidence to the contrary,” he hums back.</p><p>“What are you two whispering about?” Idriss interrupts, coming to stand in front of Eliott. He’s in perfect position to be kicked in the balls and Eliott <em>just </em>manages to hold himself back.</p><p>“Nothing,” Eliott grumps and hopes Idriss can tell how irritated he is to have been interrupted.</p><p>“Mmhmm.” Idriss raises one judgmental eyebrow. “You think you’re gonna get away with just sittin’ there looking pretty?”</p><p>“Looking pretty for you is my life’s purpose,” Eliott banters back. “Dressed for you and everything.”</p><p>“I noticed,” Idriss teases back. “Baby, you know what you in green does to me.” He advances as he says it. He loves to do this. Eliott had once accused him of playing gay chicken. Idriss’s response had been, ‘It’s not chicken if you’d make out with the guy.’ Eliott had told him he was the worst straight guy he’d ever known. Idriss had been fine with that. Eliott won’t be the one to back down this time.</p><p>“How would I know when you barely take me out anymore?”</p><p>Idriss grins, slapping hands to Eliott’s thighs as he leans in. “Why would I take you out when we could just stay in?”</p><p>Lucas suddenly slams the side of the cutting board into Idriss’s chest. A few carrots go tumbling to the floor. “Stop flirting like idiots. Start cooking. I’m starving.”</p><p>Idriss raises his hands in surrender, laughing, and taking the cutting board from Lucas. “Didn’t know we’d called dibs.” He gives Eliott a look as he turns back to the stove. Lucas moves into Idriss’s place, standing across from Eliott with arms crossed against his chest. He doesn’t say anything, eyes dropping to the floor as his fingers drum against his arm.</p><p>“So…” Eliott begins.</p><p>“How’s the dancer?” Lucas asks, looking up.</p><p>“Dancer?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “The ‘danced since she could walk’ patient.”</p><p>“Oh!” Eliott recalls. “Yeah, she’s good. Or, no, sorry, I don’t know why I said that.” He shakes his head at himself. “Rheumatoid arthritis. You were right.”</p><p>“Hm. Surgery still going forward?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott confirms. “There are more potential complications of course, but it’s scheduled for early next week.”</p><p>“Scrubbing in?” Lucas’s eyes are watchful as he asks.</p><p>“No.” Eliott shakes his head, not totally sure what to make about the direction of this conversation.</p><p>“Didn’t feel like it?”</p><p>Eliott expels a quick breath like laughter. “No. I wasn’t asked. I won’t be asked.” What the hell is Lucas getting at?</p><p>Idriss approaches and thumps a coiled book in Eliott’s lap. “Why not?” He asks as though he’d been part of the conversation.</p><p>Eliott stares at them both incredulous. “We’re interns. Scrubbing in on anything is miraculous. Not like I’m gonna be doing so for every patient. Why would I be?” Idriss seems to be waiting on Lucas to lead the conversation and looks to him to answer.</p><p>“It’s Millet.”</p><p>“So?” Eliott and Idriss ask in time. Lucas answers Idriss.</p><p>“He’s obsessed with Eliott.”</p><p>“What?!” Eliott scoffs. “No, he’s not!”</p><p>“Like you’d ever notice anyways,” Idriss says, pointing to the book he’s put in Eliott’s lap. “Read me that.”</p><p>“He totally is,” Lucas argues. “You just think the sun shines out of his ass, so he can do no wrong.”</p><p>“I don’t – I – what?” Eliott might just be speechless.</p><p>“Eliott!” Idriss complains from the stove. “Read it to me! That bit about after it’s simmering.”</p><p>Eliott tears his incredulous look away from Lucas to look down at what is apparently it a book open to a recipe in his hands. It looks far more like one of the reproduced medical journals. “These are recipes?”</p><p>“Eliott!”</p><p>“God, fine!” Eliott reads down the page. “It says let simmer until potatoes have softened, then add spices. Do you need me to list them?”</p><p>“Not yet.” Idriss returns his attention to the pot bubbling in front of him.</p><p>“Did you photocopy a recipe book from the library or something?” Eliott asks, gesturing at the book when Idriss glances back at him. He crinkles his face in displeasure when he does.</p><p>“The fuck? No. Those are my mom’s recipes.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Eliott laughs. “She really made you a whole book of her recipes? She trusts you that little in the kitchen, hunh?”</p><p>Idriss rolls his eyes. “You’ve had my mom’s cooking. Don’t play like you don’t want one too.” Eliott acknowledges exactly how right Idriss is with a quick nod and roll of his eyes skyward. When he looks back down, Lucas’s eyes are on him, though they quickly dart away. Eliott waits patiently until, with an irritated sigh, Lucas looks back.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Millet isn’t into me.”</p><p>Lucas flicks his eyebrows with a disbelieving sound. “Right.”</p><p>Eliott smiles a little, charmed by the way this seems to bother Lucas. “He’s married, with twin toddlers. He’s not into me.”</p><p>“Marriage doesn’t mean anything,” Lucas says with a scoff, eyes cutting away.</p><p>Eliott’s mouth pulls down. “It does to me.”</p><p>Lucas looks back to him quickly, face suddenly stripped of his previous animosity. “I – I know. I didn’t mean – I know <em>you </em>wouldn’t do anything.” He exhales heavily, expression somber. “Marriage doesn’t mean anything to them.”</p><p>“Them?”</p><p>“The senior doctors – surgeons – whatever. Guys who spend 24/7 at the hospital.” Lucas waves a hand as though to encompass all of them. “You think a ring on their finger stops them?”</p><p>It suddenly occurs to Eliott that Lucas might be talking about one ring in particular. A simple golden band Eliott has noticed on Moreau’s hand on more than one occasion. The thought is difficult to swallow and bubbles with the acid in Eliott’s stomach.</p><p>“I don’t think Millet is like that,” Eliott begins gently, conscious of what a sore topic this might be for Lucas. “And neither am I. I won’t ever be. I think anyone who cheats was already looking for a reason to do so. It’s a failure of character, not circumstance.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes are locked on him, his mouth slightly parted. His gaze drops and he licks his lips. When he looks back up, he’s smiling – just slightly. But it’s warm and soft. It’s a smile Eliott is coming to realize, Lucas is directing at him more and more often. He leans forward slightly, offering one of his own. Idriss’s arm is suddenly landing around Lucas’s shoulders. When Eliott manages to peel his eyes away from Lucas, he’s almost positive he sees Idriss’s phone lowering. He narrows his eyes in suspicion.</p><p>“Hand me that.” He nods towards the recipe book, taking it from Eliott. “You’re a useless assistant.”</p><p>Eliott balks. “You didn’t say I was even supposed to be acting as assistant!”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah.” Idriss dismisses him with a wave of the hand. “Go take a load off in the living room. Send Manon in here.”</p><p>“Did you say my name?” Manon asks from the entrance to the kitchen.</p><p>Idriss’s face brightens immediately and he turns to her with a happy smile. “Be my assistant?”</p><p>She returns his smile, obviously just as enamored with him as he is with her. “I told you, you should have let me help in the first place,” she teases.</p><p>“I was trying to be a good host and let you chat with our friends.”</p><p>“Imane is your sister.”</p><p>“Exactly. Already had a lifetime of her. I don’t need anymore.”</p><p>“Mmm,” she hums, “and you’d choose me over these two?” She doesn’t even look at them as she says it, gesturing vaguely with her hand towards them.</p><p>“That’s right.” Idriss reaches out and pulls her closer with a light grip to where her shirt balloons out from her slightly. She doesn’t resist, happily moving into his space and pressing hands to his chest. “You’re just so much prettier than them,” Idriss whispers, obviously readying himself for a kiss.</p><p>“Ugh!” Lucas cries in disgust, pretty effectively interrupting the moment as all eyes swing to him. “If I’d known this is what you two were gonna be like, I never would have approved of this whole dating thing.”</p><p>“Babe,” Manon laughs, “I would have done it anyway.” Idriss leans forward and presses a kiss to her cheek.</p><p>Lucas’s nose wrinkles in an exaggerated show of disgust. “Just make sure you finish making my dinner in between making out. My stomach is about to cave in.”</p><p>“<em>Your </em>dinner?!” Idriss objects as Lucas turns to exit the kitchen. Eliott’s eyes swing between the affectionate couple and the ass disappearing out the kitchen doorway. It’s an easy choice. He follows.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>It ends up being a far more enjoyable evening than Eliott had expected. They all settle into the living room as they eat, telling respective work stories and one-upping one another accordingly. At one point, Idriss shares the story of a couple days back when he’d gone to pick up Manon from work and met Charles for the first time. His elaborate retelling of the way Charles eyes had bulged out (impression and all) the moment Manon had greeted Idriss with a kiss, has Lucas laughing so hard, he’s wiping tears away. Eliott only gets caught up in staring once… maybe twice. But then, Lucas is looking at him too. Eliott never exactly catches him. But he can <em>feel </em>Lucas’s eyes on him through the night. It’s like a sixth sense Eliott has honed that’s tuned only to Lucas’s existence. Eliott likes it. He likes knowing Lucas’s eyes are on him. He likes the possessive feeling that comes with it. Like Lucas considers Eliott <em>his</em>. His to <em>look </em>at, his to <em>touch, </em>his to <em>kiss</em>, his to… <em>god,</em> if Eliott doesn’t get his hands on Lucas before the end of the night he’s not sure what he’ll do.</p><p>“You really went to the trouble of <em>making </em>apple crumble but forgot the ice cream?” Imane says with a laugh, drawing Eliott’s attention away from the captivating sight of Lucas smiling in profile.</p><p>“I was baking and cooking all afternoon,” Idriss whines with the tone of the long-suffering brother. “<em>You </em>could have brought it.”</p><p>Imane raises an eyebrow. “Brought ice cream for the apple crumble we didn’t know you were making?”</p><p>Idriss narrows his eyes. “Yes.”</p><p>Imane opens her mouth and Eliott settles in for what is sure to be a riotous back-and-forth. Sofiane gets there first. “Let’s go grab it from the store, love.” Idriss grins immediately, all too smug with it, and Sofiane points a warning finger his direction. “Don’t give me that look. You’re paying and you’re giving me extra because I need to buy some more of those chips Imane likes.”</p><p>“Oooohhh.” Imane smiles and stands up. “I like the sound of that.” She offers Sofiane a hand up.</p><p>It hardly goes that smoothly of course. Imane insists her chips will cost about five times what all of them know the cost is likely to be, Idriss puts up a fight, Sofiane plays mediator, and of course in the end, Imane gets her way.  And odd silence settles once they’re gone. Eliott leans more comfortably back against the couch from his position on the floor and traces the line of Lucas’s jaw with soft eyes.</p><p>“So how have things been for you at the hospital, Eliott?”</p><p>Eliott turns to see Manon looking at him, her expression fond, if a little amused. “Good, thanks.  It’s been a bit overwhelming but, yeah, good, I think. I’ve gotten a chance to scrub in for a pretty cool surgery, shadow a surgeon… stuff like that, and I’ve done ok, I think.”</p><p>Lucas makes a sound – a soft sort of exhale of something that doesn’t quite seem like humour. “You think?” He asks, more argumentative than teasing. “Is the fake humble thing you do an intentional choice, or does it come without trying?”</p><p>Eliott frowns, confused. “I’m not being fake.”</p><p>“Pretty sure you mean ‘I don’t <em>think </em>I’m being fake’”</p><p>“What? I –”</p><p>“Whatever became of that competition?” Manon interrupts.</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss chimes in. “Saw it on the board. You doing it?” Eliott looks to Lucas.</p><p>“Why the fuck are you looking at me?” The vitriol in Lucas’s tone is surprising and Eliott feels his metaphorical hackles rise in response.</p><p>“The question was <em>for you</em>.”</p><p>Lucas baulks. “Why would you just assume the question was for me? He was talking to you.”</p><p>“<em>Ummm</em>,” Idriss says in the background. His attempt to interject is lost in Eliott’s rising irritation.</p><p>“No, he wasn’t.” Eliott denies, not at all understanding why this sudden fire from Lucas is pointed his direction. “I’m not doing the surgery. I already said that.”</p><p>“I’m not doing it either. Why are you trying to antagonize me?”</p><p>“<em>Guys</em>…” Manon’s voice this time. </p><p>“Me?! <em>I’m </em>trying to antagonize <em>you?</em> You’re the one down my throat all of the sudden.”</p><p>“You wish he was down his throat.<em>” </em>Fucking Idriss.</p><p>“Yeah, because I know what you’re fucking implying!” Lucas spits.</p><p>Eliott gapes. “This is about me seeing you with him? Moreau?!”</p><p>Lucas explodes from his position on the floor to a stand, fists clenched at his side and eyes spitting fire. Eliott immediately follows suit, though more clumsily, awkwardly pushing himself away from the couch and getting his inconveniently long legs under him before he rises to stand off against the irate boy across from him.</p><p>“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” Lucas bites, veins in his neck popping.</p><p>“You can’t keep saying that when you’re the one refusing to do the talking! Of course I don’t! You won’t tell me anything.”</p><p>“Since when do I owe you that?!”</p><p>“Ok. Idriss,” Manon is standing and hauling Idriss up with her, “let’s go enjoy the view.”</p><p>“View of what? Dude who likes to sit in his underwear on the roof next door?”</p><p>“Idriss.”</p><p>“Fine,” he sighs, moving to a stand. He points at Eliott. “You’re not allowed to murder one another. I clean up enough blood at work.” With that, Manon hauls him to the balcony door and then outside, slamming it shut behind them.</p><p>“Nice,” Lucas snips, as though <em>Eliott </em>were at fault for Idriss being kicked from his own apartment.</p><p>“What is your problem?!” Eliott asks, utterly incredulous. “I thought we were having a nice time! I thought we were – and now you’re suddenly angry at me?”</p><p>“Suddenly?” Lucas’s voice rises to a higher pitch when he’s in true disbelief. “You bring up –” He cuts himself off, but the implication is clear. Him. Moreau. “Just like always. Can’t help yourself, can you?”</p><p>“I didn’t bring him up!” Eliott moves a frustrated hand to his hair, tugging roughly at the strands. “And why can’t I? Why can’t I ask what you were talking about? Why can’t I know?”</p><p>“You don’t need to know. There’s – there’s nothing to know!”</p><p>“Clearly there is. You wouldn’t be this upset otherwise.”</p><p>Apparently having had enough, Lucas makes his way around Eliott in angry, quick strides. But he’s not headed for the door, he’s moving down the hall, further into the apartment.</p><p>“Lucas! Goddammit! Talk to me!” Eliott follows. Instead of moving to the bathroom and locking himself in as Eliott expected, Lucas veers to the left, shoving Idriss’s bedroom door open and stomping into the room. He swings around with arms crossed just as Eliott enters. Eliott slams the door behind him. The room is only lit by a lamp at the bedside, casting shadows across Lucas’s face that make his frown even more menacing.</p><p>“Talk to you? Fine!” Lucas bites. “Stay the fuck out of it. How many other ways do I need to say that for it to get through your thick skull?”</p><p>“Stay out of <em>what?!” </em>Eliott is done tiptoeing around the subject… ok, perhaps that’s not exactly what he was doing. The point is: things need to be in the open. “Are you still fucking him?”</p><p>“Still?” Lucas huffs a laugh, cold and unamused. He’s not looking at Eliott.</p><p>“Yes. Has he been messing with you?” Eliott asks, trying desperately to keep his rage at the thought, out of his tone. Lucas’s eyes move back to him. “Is that it? Is he pressuring you to have sex with him again? Lucas, just – tell me what is going on.”</p><p>“This isn’t your business.” Lucas raises a hand when Eliott opens his mouth to speak. “Stop. We’re not friends. Stay the fuck out of my life.”</p><p>Eliott inhales deeply, anger pumping through his veins. “Didn’t seem to want me out of your life a week ago.”</p><p>“And what? You think that makes us friends?”</p><p>“We are friends.”</p><p>Lucas’s nostrils flare and he takes two steps closer. “We’re people who hate one another and fuck occasionally.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “We don’t hate one another.”</p><p>“We do.” Everything about him is daring Eliott to do <em>something</em>. Something Eliott hasn’t quite pinpointed. It’s in the cut of Lucas’s jaw, the flash of his eyes, and the way he steps closer still, tilting his head back slightly as he spits the words into Eliott’s face. “That’s why it’s so good.”</p><p>Blood rushes from Eliott’s face to an area far lower. “That’s why it’s good?”</p><p>Lucas wets his lips, stubborn tilt to the set of his mouth remaining. “Yes. It’s hate sex.”</p><p>Eliott huffs a laugh. “You really tell yourself that, don’t you? If you hate me, that makes it ok – that it was <em>that </em>good, that you came so fucking hard, that you needed my fingers inside you, that you <em>begged</em> for them.” Lucas’s eyes are sharp and cutting as Eliott speaks. “That it was so much better with me. Better than you’ve ever had.”</p><p>“Jesus. How the fuck do you live day-to-day being that full of yourself?”</p><p>“Yeah, well,” Eliott pastes a mocking smile on his face, “don’t knock it ‘til you try it. Already know how my fingers feel inside. Think that’ll be enough? You’re gonna want it again.”</p><p>“So what are you waiting for?”</p><p>Eliott stares at him, shocked and more than a little turned on. “What?”</p><p>A flicker of uncertainty inhabits Lucas’s eyes before they drop to the ground. “Nevermi–”</p><p>Eliott slams into him. He doesn’t make it gentle. One hand moves immediately to the back of Lucas’s head, holding him still as Eliott attacks his mouth. It’s barely a kiss. Their teeth clack together but neither of them seem to care. Eliott tightens his grip in Lucas’s hair and slants their mouths together. Lucas doesn’t make it easy. He grips Eliott’s t-shirt, equally pushing and pulling with his hands as he responds to the kiss. Eliott moves his other hand down Lucas’s back to his ass, and when he tightens his grip, fingers digging into the meat of one ass cheek, Lucas scratches nails down Eliott’s chest. The sting is felt even through the cotton of Eliott’s shirt. And when Eliott pushes his tongue past Lucas’s lips, Lucas bites it.</p><p>“Fuck!” Eliott growls as he pulls Lucas’s face away with a harsh tug of his hair. Lucas is smiling, smug and confident. Eliott backs him into the dresser. It hits Lucas at the hips and rattles with the contact. Lucas makes a noise, harsh and high pitched, not pain and not quite pleasure. “You’re a fucking brat.”</p><p>Lucas’s jaw clenches and he leans forward into Eliott’s face, eyes filled with a fire that illuminates them even in the dim light of the bedroom. “And you’re a fucking asshole.”</p><p>Eliott yanks at Lucas’s hair, tipping his head back enough that he can dive forward, latching his mouth to Lucas’s neck. He bites down, sucking the skin harshly until it pulses in his mouth – until he knows it will leave a mark.</p><p>“Shit.” Lucas’s hands are tight in his hair, and his body arches into Eliott’s. “You fucking – ungh –” He waits long enough for Eliott to have thoroughly bruised the skin before he pulls him away. His hand slaps down on the mark, already red and throbbing. “Asshole.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. He releases his grip on Lucas and steps back, reaching for the bottom of his shirt, he strips himself of it without any ceremony. There’s a mirror that sits on top of the bedroom dresser. It spans the length of it and Eliott catches sight of himself in the reflection above Lucas’s shoulder. His skin is flushed, his hair the product of Lucas’s tugging hands, and his face, wild and eyes black in the light. He likes it. He reaches for his pants, tipping his chin slightly to Lucas. “Get your clothes off.”</p><p>Lucas’s face tightens and Eliott can see him readying himself for a fight. He waits for the ‘make me’. Instead what comes out is. “You better make it worth my time, average.” The fucking brat.</p><p>Eliott glares, quickly unbuckling his pants and pushing them down along with his briefs, kicking both items away. He reaches for his erection, stroking it slowly as he lets Lucas’s eyes drink in their fill. “Isn’t gonna be anything average about it.”</p><p>Lucas cocks one eyebrow. He strips himself of his shirt, before unzipping his jeans, and kicking them down his legs and away. He’s left in his briefs, but it does nothing to hide how hard he is, the length of his erection unmistakable against the loose cotton. His eyes flick down to Eliott’s erection, gaze assessing. “I don’t know, I’d say your stamina was pretty fucking average.” God, Eliott’s never going to live that first blowjob down. Lucas isn’t done. “Gonna come the second you’re inside me?” He raises a hand, showcasing a condom and packet of lube. Eliott hadn’t even noticed him retrieve them from his pants. Lucas slaps them on top of the dresser. “What do you think I can expect? Two? Three strokes and finale?” Eliott is going to fuck him <em>so hard. </em>He leans down and reaches for his own jeans, rooting in the pockets until he finds what he was looking for. A small squeeze bottle of lube. Lucas isn’t the only one who came prepared. He waves it in his fingers with a smirk, taking two steps until he’s back in Lucas’s space, and tossing it next to the other items on the dresser. Leaning down, he stops only when Lucas’s lips part, head tipped back expecting a kiss. He let’s their lips brush as he speaks.</p><p>“Got a feeling you’ll be tight.” He hopes the implication is clear. As clear as it is to Eliott just how badly Lucas needs to be <em>fucked</em>.</p><p>Lucas leans further into the contact, pressing their lips together without any further effort. It’s not a kiss. It’s lips pressed on lips. “You’re not that big.”</p><p>Eliott exhales an amused laugh, tilting back out of the contact enough to look Lucas clearly in the eye. “Oh, baby,” he reaches forward, wrapping a hand around Lucas’s erection, hot and straining even through the cotton, “we both know that’s not true.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flutter and his mouth parts as Eliott spreads his palm against the length and rubs. His words come out breathy but biting. “Longer the cock, shorter the stamina.”</p><p>“God,” Eliott laughs, moving a hand back until into Lucas’s hair. He presses a thumb to his temple. “Shut the fuck up.” He bites Lucas’s lip as he kisses him, a warning before he licks into his mouth. Lucas grazes his tongue with his teeth, his own warning but he doesn’t bite, meeting Eliott’s tongue with his own, hot and insistent. Eliott lets him have his way for a moment, leading their kiss with punishing lips. Lucas’s hands spread around the back of Eliott’s neck, pulling him down and closer. He makes a noise – a whine. Not satisfied by the distance between them, he pushes up onto his toes and moves closer into Eliott’s space. In doing so he steps clumsily on Eliott’s foot. Eliott laughs against his lips. “Eager, are we?” In response, Lucas slams the heel of his other foot down over the bridge of Eliott’s. Eliott bites his own tongue. “Motherfuc-” He’d probably have a few more choice words but the sound of Sofiane and Imane arriving back to the apartment stops him. He stares into Lucas’s smirking face as they listen to the muffled voices in the other room of the apartment.</p><p>“Careful,” Lucas whispers. “Wouldn’t want your friends to know what you’re up to in here.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him unimpressed. “Think they don’t know?” He kicks Lucas’s foot away from him. “I think they know what I’m going to do to you in here.” He runs his fingers under the waistband of Lucas’s briefs. “And I think,” he tugs, snapping the elastic against Lucas’s waist, “it’s <em>you</em> who’s going to need to be quiet. Think you can do that, baby?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “Fuck you.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, a low rumble in his chest, and kneels down, taking Lucas’s briefs with him as he goes. He helps Lucas step out of them with gentle hands. Glancing back up at him from his position, conveniently placed right in front of Lucas’s stiff erection. He leans forward just enough for the weeping tip to run across his lower lip as Lucas sucks in a harsh breath, before he lifts back up to a stand, darting his tongue out to catch the precum left behind. “Don’t think that’s what you requested.” Lucas doesn’t look like he’s following the conversation any longer, eyes near blackened by his pupil. “Turn around.”</p><p>Recognition returns to Lucas’s eyes, and with it – fire. “Stop telling me what to do.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “I think you like it.” He doesn’t wait for further posturing from Lucas. Hands tight to Lucas’s hips, he spins him. Lucas’s hands slap down on the top of the dresser. He regains his balance with a surprised inhale, and then freezes. Eliott only realizes why when he looks over Lucas’s shoulder and catches sight of Lucas’s face in the reflection of the glass. He’s looking at himself – shocked.</p><p>Eliott hums, pressing up against his back. He reaches for the bottle of lube, flipping open the cap. “Quite the sight, aren’t you?”</p><p>Lucas’s cheeks darken to an even more telling red, and his eyes move to catch Eliott’s staring back in the reflection. “You probably fuck people in front of mirrors all the time, right? Kink of yours?”</p><p>Eliott looks away in order to spread the lube liberally across a couple fingers. He taps Lucas’s ankle with his foot until Lucas takes the hint and spreads his legs further. “First for me, actually,” he comments as though they were talking about nothing more interesting than taxes. He spreads Lucas’s ass cheeks with one hand and moves his fingers to press against him with the other. He looks back to meet Lucas’s eyes through the mirror as his fingers circle his hole. “Keep forgetting to install that mirror above my bed.”</p><p>Lucas huffs, “Shut up.” He's trying desperately not to seem affected by the way Eliott’s fingers move against him, circling and prodding at his clenched opening, but the tremor running periodically through his body gives him away. “Is that true?”</p><p>Eliott, with one finger breaching Lucas to the first knuckle, pauses to look at him in question. “No. I don’t actually have a mirror I want to put above my bed.”</p><p>“You’re such a fucking –” Lucas cuts off with a gasp as Eliott shoves his finger deeper, buried to the last knuckle. “Fuck.”</p><p>Eliott hums, unapologetically smug with it. He let’s Lucas get comfortable with the feeling before he withdraws, shoving it back in just as quickly, and watching the way Lucas’s eyes flutter closed and he bites his lip, before stubbornly opening them to look back at Eliott. “I meant – ugh – the – the mirror.”</p><p>Eliott eyebrows bunch as he puts together what Lucas is really asking. His expression gentles when he does. “Yes,” he whispers softly, unable to stop himself from pressing a kiss to Lucas’s shoulder in the absence of his mouth, “I’ve never done it like this before.” He presses his finger back in.</p><p>Lucas’s mouth pulls in a slight smile before he drops his eyes. But it’s clear as day, despite his best efforts to hide it: he’s pleased – happy he could be a <em>first </em>for Eliott in any way. When he looks back up there’s a new cheeky quality to the way he smiles. “Shocking,” he whispers, arching his ass back into Eliott’s hand. “Thought you’d fucked everyone in <em>every way</em>.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, pressing a second finger in alongside his first, enjoying the way Lucas’s mouth drops into an O shape and his eyes loose focus for a few seconds. “There you go, calling me a slut again.” He spreads his fingers, stretching Lucas in slow and careful motions. His own cock is aching, precum trailing down the length, but he can’t let it distract him. He was right. Lucas <em>is </em>tight. <em>Fuck</em>. The thought of being inside him has a blurt of precum dribbling from his cock to the floor below.</p><p>“Said –” Lucas tries, eyes shutting and a low groan coming out in place of words as Eliott shoves both fingers back in with more force. “Said we shouldn’t say that. That word.”</p><p>Eliott leans against the side of Lucas’s back, pressing lips to his head. “Don’t remember saying that.” He doesn’t recall the conversation with perfect accuracy, but he doesn’t believe he ever got around to chastising Lucas. “But you’re right, I don’t like it.” He moves his lips down, running them along the shell of Lucas’s ear. “Like other words more.” Lucas shudders, tilting his head slightly towards Eliott. “Sweetheart. Lover.” He presses a kiss to the lobe. “Baby.” Lucas thrusts back onto his fingers with a moan, eyes slipping closed. “Like that one?” Eliott asks, his own breath is coming short. “Baby?”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas keens. His eyes open and his hand slaps down on the condom on the dresser, “fuck me.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes his eyes shut, bringing his free hand to his own cock and jerking it roughly, desperate for a moment of relief.  He tips forward, resting his forehead against Lucas’s shoulder. “Okay.” He pants, pulling his fingers from Lucas’s body as he looks back up. “You don’t want a third?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, looking remarkably himself even red-faced, hair fallen onto his forehead and caught in sweat, and breath uneven. “You’re not serving hors d’oeuvres. Just fucking get to it.”</p><p>The sass helps clear Eliott’s head and he reaches for the condom, grinning at Lucas’s eyes reflected back at him. “I can do that.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop to where Eliott’s fingers, slick with remnants of lube, are slipping on the packaging. “You sure about that?” He raises an unimpressed eyebrow.</p><p>Eliott’s fingers finally catch on the pre-tear at the side of the foil and he rips it open with satisfaction, mirroring Lucas’s expression. “Pretty sure.” He moves quickly to put the condom on, slicking it with lube and shuddering at the pleasure even the touch of his own hand brings. He moves behind Lucas, parting his ass cheeks with both hands to stare down at him. Eliott moves a hand to his cock, breathing heavily as he presses the tip against Lucas’s hole, pink and shiny with lube, testing the resistance.</p><p>“So, two strokes or three?” Lucas asks, voice shaky but somehow still filled with attitude. When Eliott looks up to meet his eyes, Lucas smiles, cocky and so goddamn sexy. “Wanna adjust my expectations.”</p><p>Eliott drives his hips forward, pushing the head of his cock past the ring of muscle that immediately clamps down around it as Lucas gasps loudly, falling forward with hands pressed to the top of the dresser. Eliott wraps a hand around Lucas’s waist, not touching his erection, flushed and dribbling within reach. Instead he presses against Lucas’s belly as he carefully fucks his cock deeper, letting out a deep groan as the tight heat of Lucas’s body grips him. Fuck. He <em>hopes </em>he can last more than three strokes. “You’re a fucking brat, you know that?” He manages to gasp in between slow driving movements, until he’s sunk as deep as he can go in Lucas’s body, hips flush with his ass.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes, previously shut, open and find Eliott’s in the mirror. He smiles, sweet and maybe a little proud. “Only with you.”</p><p>The words send such a rush of extreme pleasure pulsing through Eliott’s body, he has a moment, as the sensation collects in his balls, of being genuinely worried he’s going to come. He wraps himself around Lucas’s body, arms tight around his stomach and chest in a backwards hug, pressing lips to the side of Lucas’s face. Lucas eyes flutter at the touch. Eliott stares at him in the mirror as he waits for sensation of impending orgasm to pass. Lucas’s eyes aren’t on the mirror, half-lidded and unfocused as he leans back into Eliott’s hold.</p><p>“You’re so beautiful,” Eliott whispers, catching Lucas’s attention. “Look at you. God. Look how good you look being fucked.” His body jerks of its own accord, reacting to his own words, shoving into Lucas as though he could get deeper through force of will. Lucas moans at the feeling. Too loud. “Ssshhh,” Eliott hushes him gently, loosening his hold and sliding one hand to Lucas’s hip, the other back to his lower stomach. “Gotta stay quiet, baby,” Eliott pants, pulling out until only the head of his cock remains tight in the grip of Lucas’s body. “Don’t want anyone to hear you.” He thrusts back in, the entire length of his cock driving into Lucas’s body. Lucas grunts, hand slapping against the surface of the dresser. “Just for me,” Eliott whispers.</p><p>He builds a pace, thrusting his cock in and out of Lucas’s body in hard, satisfying movements, hips slapping against Lucas’s ass. Lucas’s follows him each time Eliott pulls from his body, ass tilting up and back, as though he can’t bear the thought of Eliott’s cock leaving him if even for a second. Eliott leans back slightly, enough to watch his cock, slick with lube, disappearing into Lucas’s body. He can’t tear his eyes away from Lucas’s face long, however, and he seeks him out in the mirror. But Lucas’s head hangs between his shoulders, body shuddering with the force of Eliott’s movements, his locked arms the only thing keeping him from collapsing on the dresser. Small noises of pleasure are escaping him, muffled by the way he’s biting his lower lip. “Lucas,” Eliott groans, fucking into him in increasingly sloppy movements as his orgasm builds, a live spark rushing down his spine and settling in his balls. “Lucas,” Eliott tries again, moving his hand from Lucas’s hip, back to his chest. Eliott rests it there, pulling Lucas up until his back is pressed to Eliott’s chest. Lucas whines at the change of angle. It makes it harder for Eliott to fuck into him in anything but short bursts of movement, but Lucas doesn’t seem to mind, eyes squeezed shut and arching his back as he rocks his hips back into Eliott. When Eliott moves the hand on Lucas’s belly to wrap around his cock, Lucas’s eyes snap open. They catch with Eliott’s immediately in the mirror. “That’s it,” Eliott moans, increasing the tempo of his hips as he matches the drive of his cock with the hand on Lucas’s erection.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas croaks. He moves a hand up to Eliott’s hair, gripping there and pulling Eliott’s head down closer to his neck. “Please. I want to come. Please.”</p><p>Eliott’s body responds as though the words were permission to reach his own climax and he stamps down the urge. <em>Don’t come. Don’t come. Not yet. </em>“Wanna come, baby?” Eliott swipes a thumb over the head of Lucas’s cock, collecting the wetness there, and drags his hand back down Lucas’s cock in a rough stroke. He’s barely moving inside Lucas now, the entire length of his cock throbbing as he keeps it deep, driving deeper still. “Want you to look at <em>yourself</em> first.”</p><p>Lucas’s forehead wrinkles as he stares at Eliott in question, panting harshly. “Wha – ungh.” His eyes flutter closed and Eliott can see he’s close, just moments away from tipping over.</p><p>“Look at yourself.” Eliott lets demand seep into his tone, watching with satisfaction as Lucas’s eyes open once more, focusing instantly on his own flushed face. “Look how good you look with me inside you.” Lucas’s mouth falls open wider, grip tightening in Eliott’s hair as Eliott strips his cock. “God, you love it don’t you? Love being fucked.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas moans. Now that he’s found himself in the mirror, he doesn’t look away. Just as enraptured by the sight of Eliott fucking into his body, hand jerking his dripping cock, as Eliott is. “Yes. Yes.” The words smear together, becoming a litany of ‘ungh, ungh, ungh’ sounds instead.</p><p>“You can come now,” Eliott grunts, concentrating on twisting his hand at the head of Lucas’s cock. He slouches slightly, allowing him to pull his cock from Lucas’s body and drive back in with punishing, brutal thrusts. He puts lips back to Lucas’s ear. “Want you to come for me, baby. Want you to watch yourself.”</p><p>Lucas’s face bunches, and he’s bites his lip harshly before his cock pulses. His eyes close as he writhes in Eliott’s arms, jerking with each wave of pleasure wracking his body. He releases a high-pitched sound, what would likely be a wail if not for the fact that he’s muzzled himself. Eliott strokes him through it, but he’s not going to last much longer. He can feel his orgasm coiling inside him demanding its own release. He moves both hands to Lucas’s hips. “Lucas – fuck – you need – need me to pull out?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas gasps, collapsing down to press his forearms against the surface of the dresser. “No. Fuck me.”</p><p>“Oh jesus,” Eliott groans desperately. He spreads his legs slightly, grip tight on the sides of Lucas’s hips and pulls his cock almost entirely out of Lucas’s body, looking down at where the slick length spreads Lucas’s puffy, pink hole. He slams back in. Lucas grunts and braces himself with a hand against the mirror. Eliott does it again. Slow but ruthless thrusts in and out of Lucas’s body. He’s never felt anything like this. Sex has never been this good – this intense. This <em>much</em>. “Lucas,” Eliott grunts, the sound of his hips slapping into Lucas’s ass cheeks echoing in the room. “Lucas.”</p><p>Lucas looks up, eyes wild when they meet Eliott’s in the mirror. “Just fucking come already!” He bites the words out, voice strained, almost angry. That’s all it takes. Eliott falls forward, a hand moving to Lucas’s shoulder to hold him in place as he fucks as deep as he can get, and then further still, grunting with each pulse of his cock. He’s coming inside Lucas. Oh god. The orgasm moves through him with such intensity he forgets to breathe, gasping for air the moment the pleasure loosens its vice-like grip on his body. When he comes entirely back to himself, it’s to the realization that he’s pressed the weight of his body down against Lucas on the dresser. “Oh fuck.” He rises up, pulling his spent cock from Lucas’s body. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” He pulls the condom off, tying it off and disposing it in the garbage next to the dresser, making note of the fact that he <em>definitely </em>needs to take out the garbage in the morning. Idriss is going to scalp him for this as it is.</p><p>Lucas pushes up from the surface of the dresser. When he turns to face Eliott his expression is mocking. “Relax. You’re not all tha –” His legs give out. Eliott catches him with an arm around the back, holding him tightly to his own chest. Lucas looks shocked for a moment before his face transforms with annoyance. “Shut up. My legs are just numb from you cutting off fucking circulation to them.”</p><p>Eliott grins. “Sure.” He dips to loop an arm around the back of Lucas’s knees and lifts.</p><p>Lucas squeaks, thrashing slightly in his hold, but Eliott doesn’t lose his grip. “What the fuck are you doing?”</p><p>Eliott moves carefully towards the bed. “Taking you to bed.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, arms wrapping up and around Eliott’s neck. “Little late for that.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, setting Lucas down on his feet next to the bed and keeping a careful arm around his waist as he pulls back Idriss’s covers. “Wasn’t gonna fuck you in my best friend’s bed.”</p><p>Lucas raises an eyebrow, moving out of Eliott’s hold to sink down onto the mattress. He rubs his hands across the covers. “No. Just put me in it fucked out.” Pride at Lucas’s phrasing has Eliott’s chest puffing out, and Lucas notices. He glares as he pulls the covers up over his body. “Stop it.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott grins, reaching for the tissues on Idriss’s bedside table and cleaning the remnants of Lucas’s orgasm from his hand. He tosses them to the floor when he’s done.</p><p>“Looking so fucking proud,” Lucas huffs, collapsing down into the pillows and wrapping himself around one.</p><p>Eliott smiles down at him affectionately. “What can I say? I am proud.” Rather than go around the bed to the other side he launches himself across Lucas, catching Lucas in the thigh with a knee, but otherwise landing safely on the other side of the bed.</p><p>Lucas huffs but doesn’t complain, turning towards Eliott in the bed with his head propped on a bent arm. “Why?”</p><p>“Why what?” Eliott asks, reaching behind himself to flick off the lamp, before mirroring Lucas’s position in bed, waiting for his eyes to adjust so he can see Lucas’s expression more clearly.</p><p>“Why are you proud?” Lucas asks. There’s a forced casualness to his tone. It’s the voice he uses when he cares <em>a lot </em>about the answer to a question but doesn’t want to let it show. That Eliott is learning such things about him is a staggering realization. “You sleep with lots of people.”</p><p>Eliott expels a quick breath. “I really don’t.”</p><p>He can see Lucas’s eyes drop to focus between them, a finger tracing an indistinct pattern on the mattress. “Whatever.”</p><p> “I’m not sleeping with anyone else,” Eliott decides on as answer. Lucas’s eyes flicker in the light streaming in from the window as he looks back to Eliott.</p><p>“Why not?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, lowering his head down to the pillow, and wrapping an arm under it. “Just – don’t want to.”</p><p>“Hmm,” Lucas hums, dropping his own head down to the pillow and curling his arms against his chest. “We really going to sleep here? Idriss won’t come in?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott says through a yawn. “He’ll leave us alone.”</p><p>“He won’t be mad?” Lucas sounds more curious than concerned.</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “Oh, he’s gonna be pissed. But I already warned him whatever happened tonight was on him.”</p><p>“You saying it’s his fault we ended up fucking?” Lucas asks, amused.</p><p>“Definitely no fault to be had,” Eliott points out, voice sleepy and soft. “That was amazing.”</p><p>Lucas makes a small sound, something both amused and pleased about it. Eliott doesn’t need to see his blush in the dark to know it’s there. “It was fine.”</p><p>“<em>Fine</em>,” Eliott laughs. “Surprised you didn’t go with <em>average</em>.”</p><p>“Well… it wasn’t that,” Lucas admits, voice quiet and surprisingly honest. “Not in my experience.” Eliott had figured as much but the pride he feels at having it confirmed is immense, swelling in his chest until he thinks he might burst with the happiness of it. “Anyways,” Lucas whispers, a little awkward now, “good night.” He flips over on the bed, leaving his back facing Eliott, soft, smooth skin luminescent in the moonlight. Eliott thinks about it only for a minute, before he shuffles closer and molds himself to Lucas’s back, moving one arm to wrap around his chest. Lucas’s entire body stiffens at the contact. “What are you doing?”</p><p>“Spooning you,” Eliott hums, pressing a kiss to the back of Lucas’s neck, before settling on the pillow with a happy sigh.</p><p>“Why?” Lucas’s body relaxes in infinitesimal stages.</p><p>“Because I want to. Now be quiet, you tired me out.”</p><p>Lucas laughs, a quiet puff of air. “Pretty sure spooning isn’t in the hate sex handbook.”</p><p>Eliott, eyes shut and already feeling the lure of sleep dragging him under, rubs his hand against Lucas’s chest. “We’ll rewrite it,” he whispers.</p><p>There’s silence, and it’s only when Eliott is on the very edge of unconsciousness, dreams inching in at the edge of blackness in his vision, that he hears Lucas answer.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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          <p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>Sorry Idriss, but I needed to parallel Yann's trauma from last chapter with your own at the end of this chapter. It be like that. </p><p>Hope you all enjoyed! See you next week &lt;3</p>
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<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>When Eliott awakes it’s to discover they haven’t shifted positions at all through the night. Lucas lays still and silent, sleeping in Eliott’s arms, chest rising and falling beneath Eliott’s hand. It feels too early to have awoken and Eliott isn’t sure what caused him to do so until he hears the sounds of someone else moving around in the apartment. Eliott rises up on one arm, allowing him a better view of Lucas’s sleeping face. He looks incredibly peaceful in sleep, mouth slightly parted, long eyelashes looking like they’ve been painted onto his cheeks, soft strands of hair fallen down over his forehead.</p><p>He’s beautiful.</p><p>Eliott knows of course. He’s always known. It’s been an infuriating fact of life he’s struggled to accept in these months he’s known Lucas, along with a number of others. 1. Lucas is an egotistical dickhead, 2. Lucas hates him, 3. Lucas is the most beautiful boy Eliott has ever seen. It had pissed Eliott off more than anything else – that Lucas should go around being the very embodiment of every one of Eliott’s fantasies rolled into one, and that he’d be the last person Eliott could have. But… that’s not the case anymore, Eliott thinks, smiling down at the sleeping boy. They’re both really here, wrapped around one another after another round of the best sex of Eliott’s life, in… Idriss’s bedroom. He cringes slightly, glancing around himself at the strangely tidy room of his best friend. He should probably deal with this before Lucas wakes up.</p><p>Carefully extracting his arm from around Lucas’s body, Eliott gets out of bed, retrieving his briefs and t-shirt before he silently makes his way from the room. With one last lingering look at the sleeping boy in bed, he shuts the bedroom door softly behind him. He makes a pitstop to the bathroom before he ventures towards the main living space. To his great relief, it’s Sofiane who comes into view in the living room, cereal boxes spread before him on the coffee table as he enjoys a bowl on the couch. Eliott does a quick scan of the space as he enters.</p><p>“He’s not here,” Sofiane says, answering Eliott’s unspoken question. “Went to Manon’s.” </p><p>Eliott nods, retrieving a couple of bowls and spoons from the kitchen, before joining Sofiane on the couch. He goes about serving himself a bowl of bran flakes. Sofiane’s always had the odd habit of spreading every cereal box available to him on whatever table he’s chosen for breakfast, and then combining a selection of two of three cereals in one bowl, as he’s done this morning. Eliott cringes at the sight. “How pissed is he?” He asks, reaching for the milk and topping up his bowl. He settles back in the couch, turning to partially face Sofiane.</p><p>“He’s not,” Sofiane denies, relenting when he looks up and catches Eliott’s disbelieving expression. “Ok, he wasn’t exactly pleased. He’s probably gonna hold this over your head for the next ten years.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, eyes drifting as he remembers the sight he left in Idriss’s bed. “It was worth it.”</p><p>Sofiane smiles, affectionate and gentle. “You really like him, hunh?”</p><p>“He’s…” Eliott trails off. He shrugs. “It’s not really… like anything I’ve experienced before.”</p><p>“In a good way or bad way?”</p><p>Eliott considers that, taking a bite of his cereal and chewing as he thinks. “Both, I guess. When I’m with him – not just like – I mean with him in any way,” Sofiane nods in understanding, “it’s… so fucking intense. It’s <em>more</em> than anything I’ve ever felt before. But it makes me feel…” He pauses, struggling for the right words. “Out of control.”</p><p>Sofiane’s eyebrows pull together, a look of concern washing over his features. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like… it’s not always me making the decisions. No – it <em>is</em>, but it’s like I can’t help it. I get around him and… I just react. I think about him all the time, and when he’s in a room it’s like everything in me is zoned in on him… like, I couldn’t stop noticing him if I tried. And it doesn’t matter what I tell myself – how I think I’ll be. I get around him and I just… I just…” He lays down his cereal bowl so he can gesture wildly with his hands in the absence of words.</p><p>“Eliott,” Sofiane interrupts his nonsensical ramblings with a laugh, “that doesn’t sound like a bad thing to me at all.”</p><p>Eliott nods but it’s not exactly in agreement. “Feeling out of control has never meant good things in my life.”</p><p>Sofiane immediately adopts a more serious look, putting down his cereal bowl and laying a warm hand on Eliott’s shoulder. “I get that, bro. But this isn’t <em>that</em>. You’re not manic. This isn’t a symptom of being bipolar. You feel out of control because you’re falling. That’s why they call it that, right?”</p><p>“Falling?” Eliott asks confused.</p><p>“Falling in love.”</p><p>Shock ricochets through Eliott’s rib cage, and he stares at Sofiane in astonishment… and maybe fear. “I’m – I’m –” A creak sounds in the hallway, followed by the sound of the bedroom door shutting. Eliott’s eyes widen in panic and Sofiane merely raises a hand, looking relaxed and perhaps a little amused.</p><p>“Chill. It’s all good.”</p><p>Eliott turns just in time to see Lucas emerge from the hallway, fully dressed, and with a look of pure anxiety written across his face. His eyes move quickly from Eliott to Sofiane as he enters the room, and his body relaxes just slightly.</p><p>“He’s not here,” Eliott explains. “Spent the night with Manon.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes dropping to the ground as he pulls his lower lip into his mouth. He shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans and shuffles nervously on his feet. The sight of him so anxious, shy even, and so fucking cute, is hard to rectify with the memory of him from last night, cocky and confrontational, and so goddamn sexy. Eliott loves Lucas’s endless contradictions. Or… not like <em>loves</em>… he just –</p><p>“You a cereal guy?” Sofiane’s voice cuts through the silence.</p><p>Lucas looks up, eyes moving to the assortment of cereal boxes on the table. He smiles and nods. “Yeah. But Emma usually puts empty boxes back in the cupboard so it’s always a bit of a gamble to have it be the choice for breakfast in our place.”</p><p>Sofiane laughs. “Well, help yourself. Eli only eats the healthy crap, so you got your pick of the rest.”</p><p>Lucas laughs lightly, taking a seat in the reading chair next to the couch and reaching for the empty bowl. “Why am I not surprised?” He gives Eliott a look as he reaches for the Coco Pops.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott chides, “those are nothing but sugar.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “You’re the one who bought ‘em.”</p><p>“Sofi bought them,” Eliott disagrees.</p><p>“Actually, those are Idriss’s,” Sofiane says around another bite of his own cereal. Eliott would respond but he gets caught up in staring at Lucas, who puts milk in his bowl and pours the cereal on top.</p><p>“Did you just… put milk in first?” Eliott asks, incredulous.</p><p>Lucas looks up from where he’s spooning his first bite of cereal into his mouth. He immediately rolls his eyes. “That’s the best way. Doesn’t get as soggy.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him, the stubborn tilt of his eyebrows, and challenge in his eyes. He can’t help the way a smile is a near automatic response. “You’re a menace.” A smile overtakes Lucas’s face in response. And for once it’s not small or subtle. It’s bright and wide, near blinding with how fucking beautiful it is. Eliott wants to kiss him.</p><p>“So, what are your plans for the holiday, Lucas?” Sofiane asks, startling Eliott into remembering he’s there too.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move to him, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Holiday?”</p><p>“Your long weekend,” Sofiane explains with a chuckle. “Imane says for the next – however many years – three consecutive days off is a vacation.”</p><p>“Oh,” Lucas chuckles, shoving another spoonful of cereal into his mouth and chewing as he talks. “I don’t know. Nothing I guess.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott asks, surprised. “You’re not gonna go see family?” He only realizes what a poor choice those words are once they’re out and he rushes to add. “Grandparents or… siblings?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, not looking up from his bowl of cereal. “Only child. And, uh, nah. Don’t have any grandparents.” A conversation abruptly surfaces in Eliott’s memory. In the hospital. Arguing over Eliott’s overly affectionate treatment of Claudine. Lucas telling Eliott he had family, <em>a lot of family </em>– that he wasn’t searching for it there. The recollection is like a sharp stab of a needle, directly to Eliott’s chest.</p><p>“Imane and I are sticking around here,” Sofiane says, a friendly ease to his voice. “You’re welcome to hang with us if you need some company.”</p><p>Lucas looks up to smile at him. “Thanks, but I think I’ll just enjoy having the place to myself for once.”</p><p>“Emma and Yann won’t be there?” There’s a feeling building in Eliott’s gut – a desire to <em>help</em>… to be there… to make it better. It’s frightening with its intensity.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move to him briefly before dropping back to his cereal. “Just me.” He takes another bite of cereal, chewing for a moment before he looks back up. “What about you?”</p><p>“I’m, uh – I’m headed home – my parent’s place – after shift Thursday.” Three days without Lucas. Three – maybe four or more – nights without Lucas. Why had this not occurred to him as a problem before now?</p><p>“Oh.” Lucas looks back to his bowl, shoving a comically large spoonful of Coco Pops into his mouth. A dribble of milk escapes, sliding down his chin. Eliott reaches forward and catches the spill with a thumb. Lucas freezes, eyes moving up to lock with Eliott’s. Eliott has frozen too, shocked by his own action. It’s another moment before his muscles listen and he’s able to pull his hand back. He licks the drop of milk from his thumb.</p><p>Sofiane clears his throat and is suddenly standing. When Eliott looks to him there’s an amused smile decorating his face. “Gonna head to the centre. Wanna get some dance practice in. You’ll lock up?” Eliott nods, returning his friend’s smile and hoping the full extent of his gratitude is imbued in it. Sofiane pauses at Lucas’s side as he passes. “It was good to see you, Lucas. And I meant what I said – Imane wouldn’t ever admit it, but it would make her really happy to spend time with you next weekend.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. “Thanks. I’ll think about it.”</p><p>It takes a few more minutes before Sofiane leaves. He cleans his dishes, grabs his gym bag and other items, and takes a moment to lace up his shoes. Lucas stays silent, finishing his bowl of cereal and placing it back on the table without ever looking up. Eliott knows. He doesn’t take his eyes off Lucas. Sofiane calls out a goodbye and the door swings shut behind him with an echoing click.</p><p>“Stop it.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth curls. “What?”</p><p>Lucas turns his head to him, rolling his eyes as he does so. “Looking at me like that.”</p><p>“How am I looking at you?” It’s like there’s a live current of electricity running between them. He’s sure Lucas can feel it too.</p><p>Lucas eyeballs him, his face stern. “I’m not having sex with you.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Ok.”</p><p>“We’re already in shit with Idriss,” Lucas says. It’s pretty clear it’s not Eliott he’s trying to convince of his reasoning at the moment. “We’re not having sex.”</p><p>“Mmm. So you’ve said.”</p><p>Lucas’s lips twitch. “I’m gonna go.”</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“And you’re going to clean Idriss’s room for him.”</p><p>“I can do that.”</p><p>Lucas looks at him for a moment, biting his lip before letting it pop from his mouth, shiny with spit. “I already stripped the bed. So, we couldn’t – we couldn’t use it anyways.”</p><p>“Mmm.”</p><p>Lucas inhales deeply. “We’re not having sex.”</p><p>Eliott tips his head. “Understood.”</p><p>Lucas stares for one, two more lingering seconds, before he stands and moves to leave. Eliott leaps forward, catching him with arms around his waist. Lucas squeals, tumbling down into his arms, as Eliott pulls him onto the couch, flipping them with more coordination than he thinks he’s ever shown in his life, until Lucas lays under him, wide eyed and panting. He smacks Eliott in the chest.</p><p>“What the fuck?!”</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. Lucas’s hands tighten on his shirt.</p><p>“You think you’re fucking smooth, hunh?” His eyes are on Eliott’s lips, and his legs part, making more room for Eliott to sink between them.</p><p>“Think I’m pretty hard actually.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him, face blank. “You really just said that.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Really did.”</p><p>Lucas is abruptly grinding his hips up and into Eliott. The sudden contact to Eliott’s barely clothed dick has his mouth dropping open around a gasp. Lucas drops his hips back down, staring up at Eliott, cocky smile spread on his face. “Not sure I’m convinced.”</p><p>Eliott shifts, dropping his body down to reconnect with Lucas’s. He doesn’t do anything more than press their lower bodies together. “Might need to make more of an effort then.”</p><p>Lucas’s pupils are dilated, and his breath is coming faster. When he speaks, it’s with a rougher quality than was there before. “Me or you?”</p><p>Eliott moves a hand to brush the hair from Lucas’s forehead, settling it in the strands. “I’m willing to make an effort. You?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, cheeky smile in place. “I bring a lot of natural talent to the party.”</p><p>“Party, is it?” A certain conversation Eliott has tried to block from his memory entirely rears its ugly head, though a lot more humorous in the current light. “Think I’d rather it be just us.”</p><p>Lucas is giving him an inquiring look, understandably not following Eliott’s current train of thought. “What are you talking about? Who else would there be?”</p><p>And, well… that’s just an opening to tease. “Oh, I don’t know…” He purses his mouth as though in deep thought. “Just seems I’m in pretty hot demand for threesomes.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth drops open and the colour drains from his face, fingers going slack against Eliott’s chest. “What – what are you talking about?”</p><p>Eliott grins, fingers playing with Lucas’s hair as he speaks. “Oh, just an… enthusiastic request by an eager fellow intern of ours.”</p><p>“Oh my god.” Lucas’s whisper is filled with sheer horror.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott continues with glee. “Apparently he thinks you’re quite <em>attracted</em> to me.”</p><p>“Oh my god!” This time Lucas slaps hands over his face.</p><p>Eliott leans down, putting his face closer. “He requested I bring a bit more <em>excitement </em>to your sex life. Thought I was the right man for the job.”</p><p>“Oh god, shut up.” Lucas’s hands slide from his face, expression mortified. “Please, just shut up.”</p><p>“So, you knew?” Eliott laughs. “You knew he’d ask me?”</p><p>Lucas huffs, hands moving back to shove at Eliott’s chest, though not hard enough to dislodge him from his position hovering over Lucas. “You think I would have let him if I knew?!” Eliott raises an eyebrow as if to say, <em>‘Well then?’</em> “He just…” Lucas continues, eyes moving to land on the couch cushion next to them. “He might have… mentioned something.” He rushes to add, looking back to Eliott. “I told him to fuck off.” At Eliott’s disbelieving raised eyebrows… “Ok, I didn’t. But I told him not to talk to you. He just won’t let it go. He doesn’t get that I’m not…”</p><p>“Into him? How is it you can tell me to fuck off so easily, but with everyone else it’s suddenly difficult?”</p><p>Lucas’s face brightens with a smile. “You inspire it in me.”</p><p>Eliott breathes a laugh. “I guess I do.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs a little, expression growing contemplative. “It’s easier with you. With other guys it’s like – I don’t know, I’m not used to being able to…” He trails off and a dark thought flits across Eliott’s mind, causing his muscles to tense.</p><p>“Say no?”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look particularly alarmed by this suggestion, but he answers, “Get my way.” Eliott isn’t sure if that’s a confirmation or not. “With you I can just…”</p><p>“Tell me to get fucked?”</p><p>Lucas grins in agreement. “Be myself.”</p><p>Warmth at the thought fills Eliott’s chest and he fiddles happily with strands of Lucas’s hair. “Well, I’d be happy to tell Jeremy to fuck off on your behalf.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, before a thought seems to occur to him. He looks at Eliott curiously. “What did you say to him anyways?”</p><p>“When he asked if I’d be in a threesome with you two because you’re clearly attracted to me and he thought it would save your abysmal sex life?”</p><p>“Ugh!” Lucas scrunches his face in displeasure. “You’re such a fucking asshole.”</p><p>“An accurate asshole,” Eliott corrects with a satisfied grin. Lucas didn’t disagree.</p><p>“Whatever,” he scoffs. “So?”</p><p>“What do you mean ‘so’?” Eliott laughs, tugging on Lucas’s hair. “I told him no. What – did you think I’d say yes?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas sighs as if only now remembering Eliott is the bane of his existence. He stares at his own fingers on Eliott’s shirt. “I was just wondering if you – like – if you told him –”</p><p>“That we’re already sleeping together and no third party is required to make it the best sex of your life?”</p><p>“Oh my god!” Lucas laughs, making a half-hearted attempt to look mad. “And you call me the ego?! You’re such a dick.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, moving down onto his elbows so he can press a quick kiss to Lucas’s mouth before answering. “Of course I didn’t tell him.”</p><p>Lucas nods, satisfied, gaze drifting between Eliott’s eyes and mouth. “Surprised you didn’t take advantage of the chance to brag.”</p><p>Eliott wiggles an eyebrow. “There’s always time for that later.”</p><p>Lucas hums and tilts his head up just enough to gently brush the tips of their noses together before he settles back once more into the couch cushion. Eliott heart stutters in his chest. “Too bad your dick isn’t as impressive as your ego.”</p><p>Eliott chokes on a laugh. “Now, what have we said about lying?”</p><p>“Sorry, you’re right,” Lucas says with an exaggerated nod of his head. “I meant your stamina.”</p><p>“Hey!” Eliott’s laugh is more of a giggle now. “I lasted a hell of a lot longer than three strokes last night.” He dips down to put his lips next to Lucas’s ear. “Long enough to make you come.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas whispers, turning his head enough to run lips across Eliott’s cheekbone. “Maybe it was a fluke.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott leans down to press a kiss to Lucas’s neck, directly overtop the sizable hickey he left the previous night. He wonders if Lucas has noticed it yet. “That’s true. Wouldn’t want you to think I was a one-hit wonder.” He generously decides not to point out that last night was the <em>fourth </em>time they’ve been together. Not that he’s counting.</p><p>“No, wouldn’t want that.”</p><p>Eliott combs his hand through Lucas’s hair, rising up enough to stare down with their mouths just barely separated. He runs fingertips across the arch of Lucas’s eyebrow, down across his cheekbone, tracing over the tip of his nose, and landing on the bow of his upper lip. “Beautiful.”</p><p>“Well,” Lucas breathes, and Eliott doesn’t think he’s imagining the way Lucas trembles, “I guess… I should get going then.”</p><p>Yeah, Eliott is going to… wait – <em>what?! </em></p><p>Before he can respond, Eliott finds himself being bodily pushed. He has no time to register what is happening, when he’s suddenly toppling sideways, landing with a hard crash onto the ground between the coffee table and the couch. How he manages not to crack his head open on the way down, Eliott’s not entirely sure. He hears a hiccup of laughter coming from the couch and then Lucas’s face appears, hovering above him, teeth bright with the shine of his smile.</p><p>“Had a good time though. Thanks for the sex. Guess I’ll see you at work.”</p><p>He doesn’t get further than the end of the couch. Eliott launches himself, hooking one arm around Lucas’s thighs with a hand grabbing for a fistful of ass. He pulls them both sideways, turning so Lucas lands on top. Lucas falls in a peel of laughter and Eliott takes an elbow to the gut for his trouble, but… it’s worth it. The fall.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott peers around the corner, a feeling of deja-vu overcoming him. Only it’s not Yann he’s avoiding this time, it’s his own best friend. He can see Idriss standing at the nurses station with Daphne, the two of them reviewing some paperwork. Eliott knows he’s needs to get this over with eventually. And seeing Idriss at work is probably the best option. Eliott’s at least 90% certain Idriss won’t attempt to murder him in the middle of the hospital. Too great a chance of survival.</p><p>He could always wait until after lunch. No one said he had to face Idriss when the day has barely begun. But then… there’s that small problem of needing to get to a number of patients in rooms past the nurses station. Maybe if he just waits for Idriss to leave…</p><p>“What are you doing?”</p><p>Eliott lets out a small shriek and spins to see Lucas behind him. God, he hopes Lucas didn’t hear him make that noise. Judging by the smirk on his face, however, he definitely did.</p><p>“I just – I was…”</p><p>Lucas sips at a coffee in his hands, glancing over Eliott’s shoulder and down the hall. He raises an eyebrow. “Avoiding Idriss?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott admits, eyeballing Lucas’s relaxed posture and easy smile – the way he sips at his coffee as though he doesn’t have a worry in the world. “Why aren’t you? Why do you look so chill?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “He’s not mad at me anymore.”</p><p>Eliott gapes. “What? But how – why?”</p><p>“Brought him coffee and pastries first thing this morning,” Lucas says with another sip of his coffee. “He was madder at you than me anyways.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him, feeling more than mildly betrayed. “So, you saved yourself and sacrificed me to slaughter.”</p><p>Lucas grins unapologetically. “Exactly. Glad you understand.”</p><p>Eliott looks at the cup in Lucas’s hands. “And you didn’t even bring me a coffee while you were at it? Traitor.”</p><p>For some reason, this comment seems to surprise Lucas immensely. His eyebrows shoot up and he looks wholly taken aback. “No – I didn’t think – why would I – no, I only got… for Idriss… because…”</p><p>Eliott, who had only said the remark in jest, stares at Lucas as he rambles, trailing to an awkward stop. He decides to take pity on him and not ask what about the question has Lucas so flustered. “So, he’s forgiven you then, but what am I supposed to –” A firm hand lands on his shoulder and Eliott yelps even more loudly than he had when Lucas had surprised him. Lucas laughs at his side as Eliott turns to face who he feared was the culprit. Idriss.</p><p>“Well,” Lucas says with casual ease, “I’ll get going then. Let you two chat.” With a happy whistle, he turns and saunters away. Eliott looks back to Idriss, keeping his eyes low and posture slumped. Idriss doesn’t say anything, instead tilting his head and leading the way to an exterior patio. It’s only available to staff and usually only populated by the smokers. Today it sits empty.</p><p>When Idriss turns back around to face Eliott as they both walk out onto the patio, he takes one look at him and snorts. “Relax. You look like you’re going to shit yourself.”</p><p>Eliott wrinkles his nose and moves next to Idriss. “Lovely visual. Thanks.” He eyeballs the distance to the ground over the side of the railing. “You’re not planning to toss me over, are you?”</p><p>“You’re so fucking dramatic.”</p><p>Eliott makes a sound of offense. “Me?! You’re the one who said you’d make me your bitch!”</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss scoffs. “That means you’re cleaning my room every time you come over at least for the next month. Doesn’t mean I want you dead, moron.”</p><p>“I did clean your room,” Eliott grumbles, turning to rest his arms on the railing.</p><p>“Un hunh. And you’re gonna keep cleaning it.”</p><p>Eliott glances over at his friend, mirroring his position beside him. “You’re not mad?”</p><p>“Was pretty mad when I found your jizz rag.”</p><p>“Kleenex.”</p><p>Idriss’s eyes cut to him, amused. “Nah. If it had happened like that first time I was with Manon? Would’a done the same. Would’ve fucked on your bed, your couch, your kitchen table, your shower–”</p><p>“Alright,” Eliott cuts him off with a hand raised. “Got the picture, thanks.” Idriss chuckles. Eliott stares at his profile nervously. It’s now or never. “It wasn’t our first time though.” Idriss nods, not an ounce of surprise showing. “You’re not surprised?”</p><p>Idriss looks at him, eyes filled with mirth. “You wanted to bang him the first night you met him.”</p><p>“Yeah, but… then we hated one another.”</p><p>“No, you didn’t,” Idriss laughs. “You wanted to fuck one another and couldn’t find a reason. Guess you did, hunh?”</p><p>Eliott nods, turning back to stare at the building across from them. “He says it’s hate sex.”</p><p>Idriss snorts. “You don’t believe that.”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, smiling a little. “I don’t think <em>he </em>believes that.”</p><p>“What happened to threesome dude?”</p><p>“Ugh. Can we not call him that?” Eliott complains.</p><p>“You’d rather I refer to him by name?”</p><p><em>Fucking Jeremy</em>. “No. Let’s just not refer to him at all. And… I don’t know.” Eliott considers the situation for a moment. “Lucas isn’t into him, but the guy won’t let it go.”</p><p>“Why doesn’t Lucas tell him to fuck off?”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “Seems the only person Lucas is happy to reject is me.”</p><p>Idriss’s hand falls to Eliott’s shoulder and he squeezes. “Not rejecting you anymore, is he?”</p><p>Eliott exhales through his nose. “Not exactly that easy.”</p><p>“Yeah, well,” Idriss chuckles, “never expected that kid to make it easy on you. You needed a challenge.”</p><p>Eliott frowns, turning to face Idriss. “It’s not like I think of him as something I need to… win. He’s not just a <em>challenge</em> to me.”</p><p>Idriss matches his position. “I didn’t mean it like that.” He inhales, forehead wrinkling as he thinks. “I mean it like… you needed someone who challenged <em>you</em> – the way you think, the way you do things – someone who challenges you to be your best – even when that’s out of spite.” He grins and Eliott offers a small smile of his own. “Lucas makes you think differently about things. I’ve seen it myself. You do the same for him. You make one another more interesting – better.”</p><p>“You saying I was boring before?” Eliott teases with a growing smile.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Idriss laughs. “Regular snooze fest.” He pokes at Eliott’s cheek until he’s swatted away. “You were way too comfortable in your life. You needed a shake up. Lucas is the right sort of scary.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow. “Scary? I think he’d be offended if he heard you say that.”</p><p>“Scary <em>for you</em>,” Idriss corrects with an eye roll.</p><p>“Lucas isn’t scary,” Eliott denies. <em>Despite what he might think</em>, he doesn’t add.</p><p>“I think he’d be offended if he heard <em>you </em>say that,” Idriss rebuts with a laugh. “But nah, it’s not Lucas that scares you. It’s what you feel when you’re with him.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him, shocked, for an extended moment. “You’re sounding creepily wise right now.”</p><p>“It’s the Manon effect,” Idriss says with a happy smile.</p><p>“Ah. How are things going with her?”</p><p>“Good. Really good. She’s my Lucas.” A wrinkle appears between Idriss’s brows as he considers what he just said. “That came out wrong.”</p><p>Eliott snorts, “I’ll say.”</p><p>“I meant, she’s my challenge. My… scary thing… that’s also the best thing.”</p><p>“That is a ridiculously romantic thing to say. You know that, right?” Eliott’s smile stretches across his face. He doesn’t think he’s ever been happier for his friend.</p><p>Idriss exhales a laugh. “Was bound to happen eventually.”</p><p>“I’m happy for you. Really. You deserve someone like Manon.”</p><p>Idriss smiles. “Thanks. I’m happy for you too.” At Eliott’s inquiring look he adds, “You deserve someone exactly as annoying as Lucas.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “He’s not mine.”</p><p>“We both know that’s not going to last. But to be clear,” he turns a threatening look on Eliott, “you two go near my bedroom again, I will kick you so hard in the balls you ain’t ever gonna be getting it up again, never mind fucking that kid.”</p><p>“Ugh.” Eliott cringes in disapproval. “That was descriptive.”</p><p>“I work in the medical field, what do you expect?” He walks past Eliott, towards the door that leads back inside. “Now c’mon, you’re buying me lunch.”</p><p>Eliott sighs. Despite Idriss’s seemingly easygoing approach to things, Eliott has a feeling there will be a lot of grovelling in his future – and <em>a lot </em>of buying Idriss lunch.</p><p>“Ok. Just today,” Eliott tries. “I’m not made of money.”</p><p>“You’re a surgeon who’s gonna make six figures, with an inheritance ten times that,” Idriss dismisses. “Of course you are. Move it, I don’t want to miss out on the tater tots.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow as he follows. “That doesn’t sound very ‘meal prep Idriss’.”</p><p>Idriss glances over his shoulder. “Call it your boy’s influence. Sometimes you just need a plate of fried potatoes for lunch.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Looking to Lucas ‘went through med school and still somehow learned nothing about nutrition’ Lallemant as an example? You sure you’re feeling ok?”</p><p>“Eh. Kid gets under your skin.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas does have that effect.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott isn’t in the cafeteria two minutes when Imane joins him, and then Emma. Neither ask – they just sit down. Sometimes having friends is terrible.</p><p>“This is why you should have gone into surgery, Imane,” Emma says. “You gotta be all nice in your job – talk to patients and shit.”</p><p>“The horror,” Imane laughs.</p><p>“What are you even talking about?” Eliott cuts in. “We’re interns. We barely spend any of our time in surgery. All we do is talk to patients.”</p><p>Emma shrugs. “Yeah, but we’re allowed to be assholes. Imane has to have a bedside manner.” She takes an enormous bite of her piece of pizza, leaving a smear of tomato sauce on her cheek.</p><p>Eliott laughs. “We’re not <em>allowed </em>to be assholes. You sound like you’re spending too much time with Lucas.” Just saying his name has Eliott doing a quick scan of the cafeteria once more but the boy he’s looking for still isn’t in sight.</p><p>“No way,” Emma scoffs. “Lulu’s all happy and soft lately. Shit is weird.”</p><p>“He is?” Eliott asks, attention homing in on Emma.</p><p>She nods, licking her fingers as she speaks. “Yeah. He’s normally a grumpy bitch all the time. But, like, lately? He’s… nice.” She pulls a face as though this were a truly foreign anomaly of behaviour. Eliott snorts. “Yesterday he was humming when he got his breakfast. And he didn’t even flip when he realized I used up the milk and put the carton back –”</p><p>“Emma,” Imane chides.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” she responds with an eye roll. “Lucas would normally crush it over my forehead.”</p><p>“That seems violent,” Eliott comments with a laugh.</p><p>Emma widens her eyes. “That’s what I’m saying! But instead he just… laughed.”</p><p>“He laughed?” Imane asks, and even she looks quite startled by this news.</p><p>“Yeah,” Emma confirms. “And I think I know why.” She leans over the table to put herself between them and whispers conspiratorially, “He’s getting laid.” Eliott drops his eyes to his hands on the table, picking up his phone to fiddle with it.</p><p>“You think so?” Imane comments, and Eliott can <em>feel</em> her eyes on him.</p><p>“Totally.” Emma sounds incredibly smug about this. “But not just laid – <em>fucked</em>.” Eliott’s gaze whips back up to her.</p><p>“Emma,” Imane scolds for the second time.</p><p>“No, no,” Emma argues, “hear me out. I’ve been around Lucas when he’s hooked up with guys before. He’s never like this.” Imane’s eyes are back on Eliott. He keeps his own on Emma and does his best not to look like he’s hanging on her every word.</p><p>“No?” Imane prompts Emma to continue.</p><p>“Un-uh,” Emma denies with a smile. “That’s what I’m saying. He’s <em>happy </em>happy. Boy’s gettin’ properly fucked for the first time.” With that she bites into her pizza with relish.</p><p>Eliott tries not to let the way his whole chest feels like it’s glowing with pride, show outwardly on his face. In the end, he tips his head to look back down at his hands and hides his pleased smile.</p><p>“Be quiet, he’s coming.”</p><p>Eliott’s head jerks up but he doesn’t have a chance to search the room for Lucas when suddenly there’s a coffee being plunked down on the table before him. It’s from the corner café. Lucas takes the seat next to him.</p><p>“Imane, Emma,” Lucas greets, before turning his head to Eliott. “Average.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, finding the nickname doesn’t bother him at all like it used to. “Is this for me?” He asks, tipping his head to the coffee.</p><p>Lucas lifts his own cup to sip from it and keeps his eyes from Eliott. “It’s not poisoned or anything if that’s what you’re worried about.”</p><p>Eliott grins, staring at his profile, near bursting with growing happiness. “You brought me coffee.”</p><p>“Told you,” Emma interjects, with a snort. “He’s being weirdly nice lately.”</p><p>Lucas directs a glare her way. “I’m always nice.” Imane snorts in disbelief, and Lucas spares a moment to glare at her too before he looks back to Eliott. He tips his chin to gesture to the table. “You haven’t gotten your food?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head. “Was waiting for you.” At the question in Lucas’s eyes, he adds, “If I let you go up there alone, you’re only going to come back with fries.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes – exactly as Eliott expected him to. “You’re dreaming if you think you can stop me.” He pushes out of his chair and Eliott does the same.</p><p>“You’re dreaming if you think I’m letting you get fries without something healthy next to them.” He follows as Lucas leads the way from the table.</p><p>“Letting me?” Lucas raises an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder at Eliott. “Since when did I ask your permission?”</p><p>“Since never,” Eliott admits, grinning. “But you’re still going to listen to me.”</p><p>Lucas slows his pace, allowing Eliott to walk beside him. “Why would I?” He asks, more with curiosity than challenge.</p><p>Eliott gives him a quick smile as he steps ahead to lead the way to the salads. “Because you like me.”</p><p>He can hear Lucas choke on air behind him. “I don’t!” Lucas huffs, shoving Eliott slightly with his shoulder as he takes a spot beside him.</p><p>Eliott turns to look at him, eyes trailing down to the mark he’d left on Lucas’s neck, carefully covered in a layer of makeup Lucas has taken to wearing over it this week – no doubt the workings of Manon. A slight tint of the reddish bruise shows anyways, stubbornly fighting through the layer of coverup.</p><p>“Nice makeup.”</p><p>Lucas looks confused for only a split second before his hand slaps down on his neck, blocking the covered-up hickey from view entirely. “I <em>really</em> don’t like you.”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Eliott comments, his tone making it clear he doesn’t believe a word. He looks back to the salads and Lucas does the same. “So? Standard garden variety or something with a bit more adventurous like Cobb?”</p><p>Lucas looks away from the salads to glare at him, hand dropping from his neck back to his side. “I’ll get a wrap. There are veggies in those.” He pushes his lower lip out in a pout, and Eliott smiles helplessly in response.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“But I’m getting fries on the side!”</p><p>“Alright, but you’re sharing with me… and probably Emma.”</p><p>Lucas narrows his eyes as he considers this before he nods resolutely. “Deal.” He turns and stomps off towards the display with sandwiches and wraps, and Eliott watches him go, brimming with happiness.</p><p>In the end, Emma ends up eating most of the fries, and Lucas comments on how good his wrap is. Of course, he also makes a show of gagging for a good two minutes when Eliott offers a bite of his salad, but Eliott’s going to call it a win.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott is anxious all afternoon. He dives into work and does his best not to think about Lucas – not to think about Lucas fretting over Marine’s surgery, not to think about how incredibly hard it must be for him after he so recently experienced losing a patient on the table, a patient just as young, and wholly undeserving of being faced with the realities of a life with cancer, not to think about how Lucas is likely trying to be strong, not to think about how all he wants to do is be there for him…</p><p>Clearly, he’s failing.</p><p>Daphne, with a line on all goings-on in the hospital and as someone who prides herself as being <em>friends</em> with the nurses from all the various departments, is more than happy when Eliott requests that she receive regular news regarding the surgery and update Eliott in turn. By the end of shift, however, the only news is that there is no news. The surgery hasn’t completed.</p><p>Mika spots Eliott before Eliott sees him. Head down and thoughts on Lucas as he makes his way to the locker room, it’s only when Mika is directly at his side that Eliott sees him.</p><p>“I think I’m offended by how little you notice me,” Mika says as greeting, and when Eliott stops walking and turns to look at him, adds, “I must have called your name five times.”</p><p>Eliott grins. “My name or some version of pet name that is neither work appropriate, nor <em>me </em>appropriate?”</p><p>Mika scoffs, offended. “Excuse me, but it is an honour to be bestowed a pet name courtesy of moi.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, “And I take it as such. You never used to, you know.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“Refer to me by pet names,” Eliott explains. “Not until…” He trails off, suddenly unsure of exactly how to put it.</p><p>“Until?” Mika prompts, a smile on his face indicating he likely knows exactly what Eliott is trying to say.</p><p>“Until… Lucas and I started… getting along. Or whatever.”</p><p>“Getting along?” Mika laughs, sounding far more delighted than the comment calls for. “Is that what you kids are calling it these days?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>Mika nods, an affectionate smile on his face. “What can I say? You two being sweet on one another brings out the sweet in me.”</p><p>“Mika…” Eliott warns, glancing quickly around them for any listening ears. “We’re not… sweet on one another.” It’s a very blatant lie, but the fact that Lucas would have denied such an accusation vehemently, feels a bit like Eliott has an obligation to do so as well.</p><p>“Oh, relax!” Mika dismisses with a wave of his hand. “Everyone knows.”</p><p>“No, they…” Eliott stares at him, eyebrows pulling together. “Do they?”</p><p>“Maybe not everyone,” Mika admits. “Pretty sure that boy of Lucas’s thinks he still has a shot.”</p><p>“He’s not Lucas’s boy,” Eliott says, a lot more forcefully than he meant to.</p><p>“No,” Mika comments, eyes heavy on Eliott’s face, “I guess he’s not.”</p><p>Eliott exhales, offering Mika a quick smile before he turns to continue walking. “I’m going to go change. I left those forms you needed with Idriss.”</p><p>“Thank you, pet!” Mika calls after him. “I assume you’re staying late?”</p><p>Eliott stops, turning to look back at Mika. “Why would I be staying late?” He asks warily.</p><p>Mika simply raises an eyebrow, his expression reading ‘<em>You know why</em>’ in a way words never could. With a quick wink, he turns and makes his way down the hall in the opposite direction. Eliott lets himself smile. He supposes it’s not so bad that people know.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott is just finishing tying his shoelace when the door to the locker room opens with a literal bang, swinging open with such force, it slams against the doorstop protecting the wall. Eliott’s head jerks up to see Lucas standing in the doorway, hair a riot of tangles, out of breath, with eyes just on the right side of wild. Eliott stands at the sight of him, shocked and with building anxiety.</p><p>“Lucas. Is everything –” He cuts off as Lucas moves, and then, just as abruptly, he has Lucas in his arms. Lucas’s launches himself from his tiptoes, arms wrapping forcefully around Eliott’s neck as he pulls them together in a tight hug, pressing his face into the side of Eliott’s neck. Eliott responds immediately, wrapping arms around Lucas’s back just as tightly and crushing their chests together. He buries his face in Lucas’s hair. “Are you ok?” Is all he manages to whisper, pressing his lips to the strands, sweaty and yet still smelling of some sort of appealing sweet fragrance Eliott can’t place.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas’s breath is hot on Eliott’s neck. “Yeah.” He suddenly laughs, pulling back enough for them to look one another in the face. He slips his hands to Eliott’s chest, and Eliott keeps his own spread on Lucas’s sides. Lucas’s face is split by an enormous smile. “They got it all. Marine. They got it all and she’s gonna be… she’s gonna be fine. Better than.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott breathes, his own smile growing, “that’s – I’m so glad.” He squeezes Lucas’s sides. “You know she’s gonna milk this healing thing for all its worth. I see lots of teen magazines in your future. If you figure out how to find the perfect bra size, you better share.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t laugh, or even smile, as Eliott expected. Instead there’s a searching, serious look in his eyes, and then, as unexpected as Lucas’s initial entrance to the locker room, they’re kissing. It’s not a particularly coordinated kiss. In his enthusiasm, Lucas’s lips land more to the side of Eliott’s mouth and their noses bump together awkwardly. Eliott couldn’t care in the least. His own hands move to cup Lucas’s face, gentling the furor of Lucas’s kiss to a softer, sweeter meeting of mouths. Lucas’s hands lock in Eliott’s hair, breaking the kiss to gasp for air and pressing their foreheads together instead. He breathes shakily, eyes closed.</p><p>A toilet flushes.</p><p>Lucas jerks away, releasing Eliott and taking a couple steps backwards to create a reasonable distance between them. He’s blushing and biting his lower lip. Eliott can’t believe he literally just had his lips on Lucas’s and yet all he can think about is doing it again – no, he can. He can believe it.</p><p>“Hey,” Alex’s voice greets as he comes around the corner, making his way to exit the locker room. He stops, looking between them both. “Why are you guys standing staring at one another?”</p><p>“We’re not!” Lucas immediately scoffs, sounds far too defensive to be believable.</p><p>Alex seems to realize this too, face pulling together in confusion. “You’re not standing staring at one another?” He repeats.</p><p>“No. We’re… talking. We were talking. We’re allowed to talk.”</p><p>Despite the entirely out of place aggression Lucas is putting on show, he lucks out in that Alex’s interest in the situation has evidently waned.</p><p>“Whatever. Hey, do me a favour? Get Emma to chill out about this weekend?”</p><p>“What?” Lucas ask, confused. “Why?”</p><p>“She’s freaking out about meeting my brothers,” Alex explains. “She told you we’re going to stay at my brother’s cabin for the weekend?” Lucas nods in confirmation. “Yeah, well, I don’t know… she’s suddenly freaked out. Thinks they won’t like her.”</p><p>Lucas makes a sound of amusement. “It’s literally impossible not to like Emma when you first meet her. It’s actually annoying how likable she is.”</p><p>“I thought you didn’t,” Eliott interjects, adding, “when you first met her.” He generously leaves out the reason, otherwise known as Lucas’s crush on Yann.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, eyebrow raised, “and look where that got me.” He turns his attention back to Alex. “She’ll be fine.”</p><p>“<em>I </em>know that,” Alex agrees. “Would you please convince her of that?”</p><p>Lucas sighs, but offers a nod. “Yeah, I’ll give it a try.”</p><p>“Thanks, man.” Alex smiles, obviously relieved. He tips his head to them both. “If I don’t see you before the weekend, have a good one.” They each nod in return.</p><p>The door swings shut behind Alex and Lucas turns back to Eliott, looking sweetly shy.</p><p>“Anyways,” he begins, eyes dropping away, “I guess I’m going to –”</p><p>“Come home with me.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes whip back up to him. “Wha–”</p><p>“This weekend,” Eliott clarifies. “Spend the weekend with me – and my family. Their property is – well, there’s lots of space. And I can barely stand to be around my parents for extended periods of time anyways. I mean –” He panics at the way that just came across. “Not that they’re horrible people or anything. It just – it would be nicer to have someone with me.”</p><p>Lucas looks wary but he doesn’t immediately refuse. Hope percolates in Eliott’s chest. “Wouldn’t that be a little weird?” He asks. “Like, if you just came home with some random guy…”</p><p>“You’re not a random guy,” Eliott says, adding with a cheeky grin, “you’re that surgeon I hate.”</p><p>Lucas chuckles, posture relaxing. “Yeah, but would they think we were… like… Alex and Emma?”</p><p>“A couple?” Eliott translates, amused by Lucas’s inability to say the word. Lucas shrugs. “No,” Eliott continues, “not if – I can say we’re friends. There’s nothing weird about that – not so long as you think we can pull it off.”</p><p>“Pull off what?”</p><p>“Being friends for a weekend.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth pulls into a smile, voice teasing. “As long as it’s just the weekend. Don’t think I could last longer than that.”</p><p>Eliott tries not to leap on that answer as confirmation, but happiness is buzzing beneath his skin just the same. “Then you’ll come?” It takes everything in him not to hop on his feet in excitement.</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a long, considering moment. “Well, I wasn’t really gonna do anything but lay around on my couch all weekend so… yeah, I guess I could.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott asks, unable to stop the way an enormous smile bursts on his face.</p><p>“Sure,” Lucas confirms, smiling now too. “As long as your parents are ok with it.”</p><p>“They will be.” At Lucas’s skeptical expression, he adds, “Really. They’ll be happy to have someone else there. We get along but it’s just… I don’t know… awkward sometimes. Trust me, you’re doing us all a favour.”</p><p>This information does seem to relax Lucas. “Ok.” There’s a blush sitting high on his cheeks when he smiles. “So, uh, after work tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yep,” Eliott confirms, popping the ‘p’ with a grin. “I’m borrowing Sof’s car.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “Can you drive?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott scoffs, sarcasm rich in his tone. “That’s why he’s so cool about loaning me his car.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look convinced. “I don’t know, you seem like the kind of guy who would sit in traffic for hours just because he kept letting the other guy into his lane.”</p><p>“Well that’s only polite,” Eliott protests.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas laughs. “Ok, well, I reserve the right to take over if you suck.”</p><p>Eliott smirks, unable to look past the opportunity. “I promise not to suck and drive.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes close as if pained. “Jesus. I can’t believe I sucked your dick.”</p><p>“Did more than that,” Eliott points out, and he could swear the temperature in the locker room increases by at least ten degrees. Lucas meets his eyes and Eliott is sure he feels it too. But of course, the world is hardly kind enough to allow them to simply enjoy the moment. The locker room door swings open and in walk Jeremy and Lisa. Jeremy, who is speaking, stops immediately at the sight of them, pausing at the end of the bench. Lisa doesn’t seem to even notice, continuing through the locker room and out of sight without him. Lucas meets Jeremy’s gaze only for a moment before dropping his eyes guiltily to the floor. Eliott tenses, readying himself for the potential explosion. Instead, Jeremy merely looks sad, eyes lingering on Lucas, before he too continues on his way and out of sight to the other side of the locker room without a word and without looking at Eliott once. Eliott can hear Lisa’s voice pick up as they continue talking.</p><p>When Lucas looks up, he doesn’t offer an explanation. Though, Eliott supposes, one is hardly necessary. He shrugs and tips his head towards the door. “I’m gonna go,” he whispers.</p><p>“You haven’t changed?” Eliott comments, keeping his voice just as quiet, as his eyes move down to the scrubs Lucas still wears.</p><p>“No. I’m gonna…” He doesn’t finish the thought, tipping his head once more to the door. Eliott understands. He’s going to check on Marine in recovery.</p><p>He nods, smiling in understanding. “Ok. Tell her I say hi when she wakes up.”</p><p>Lucas exhales a quiet laugh. “Sure.” He pauses as he reaches the door. “After work tomorrow?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, smile bright. “Tomorrow.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Lucas tosses his backpack at Eliott as he approaches the car. In a moment of uncharacteristic coordination, Eliott catches it effortlessly. Particularly uncharacteristic because Lucas looks… good. <em>Really fucking good</em>. It’s incredibly unfair he should look that good when it doesn’t even look like he made a particular effort. He’s in jeans and a white t-shirt. The shirt is short sleeve and the colours of his tattoo are on full display, a perfect contrast to the simple, light material. And he has a baseball cap on. He looks like something straight out of a frat-boy fantasy Eliott didn’t know until this very moment, would hold any appeal.</p><p>He drags his eyes down Lucas’s body in a slow perusal, moving them back up to meet his eyes only when Lucas has come to a stop, standing in front of him. “You look good.”</p><p>Lucas gives him a look of the thoroughly unimpressed. “Don’t.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott lets a grin spread on his face, knowing exactly what Lucas is referring to.</p><p>“That things you do with your eyes,” Lucas huffs. “Like you’re imagining me naked.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “I’m imagining a lot more than that.”</p><p>Lucas’s lips twitch at the corners but he manages to hold back his smile. “You can’t do that in front of your parents.”</p><p>“‘Course not,” Eliott agrees easily. “That’s why I have to get it out of my system now.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “Let’s get going. I’m starving.”</p><p>Eliott’s smile drops with worry. “You didn’t have any lunch, did you?” He turns to throw Lucas’s bag into the back seat of the car, before swinging back around on him. “I <em>knew </em>when you weren’t in the cafeteria–”</p><p>“I was busy,” Lucas complains. “I had a chocolate bar.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Eliott groans, moving to open the passenger side door for Lucas. “Get in. We’ll go for food before we leave the city.”</p><p>“Would you relax? I just said I was hungry. You don’t need to panic.” Despite arguing, Lucas does as told, getting into the passenger side seat. Eliott swings the door shut behind him, hurrying to the other side of the car and settling into the driver’s seat. “What would you like? We could stop at a café – or sushi, maybe? We’re not doing some crappy fast food. You need a proper meal.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, but there’s a sweet smile on his face now as he looks at Eliott. “Let’s just go to Bas’s.”</p><p>“Bas’s?” Eliott asks confused.</p><p>Lucas nods. “He runs a restaurant. It’s not far from here.”</p><p>“Hunh.” Eliott directs his attention to turning the ignition and pulling out into the street. “I didn’t know.”</p><p>“Yeah. It’s his pride and joy.” Lucas points to the lights ahead. “Take a right here.”</p><p>Eliott does as told, following directions as Lucas continues to give them. “He owns it?”</p><p>“Not exactly. But the old man who owns it gave Bas his first job, and he thinks of him like a son at this point. He’s planning on signing the whole business over to him.”</p><p>“Oh wow,” Eliott says, suitably impressed. “It’s sort of hard to picture. Bas just seems…”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas laughs lightly. “He’s a spaz but he’s weirdly responsible when you get to know him. And he’s determined to take care of Daphne or whatever.”</p><p>Eliott lets out a sound of disbelief. “Daphne seems like she takes care of herself just fine.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “But she’s been through some rough shit. Bas’s been with her the entire way – since high school.”</p><p>“They’ve been together since high school?” Eiott asks, suitably shocked. “I didn’t even realize you’d all known one another since then.”</p><p>“Mmhmm, Yann, Bas, Arthur, and me.” He points to a parking spot available up ahead, and Eliott directs the car towards it.</p><p>Once parked he unbuckles his seat belt, turning in his seat to face Lucas. “It’s the same with Idriss, Sof, and I. Friends since high school.” Lucas nods, and Eliott finds himself wondering… “Do your friends know? Aside from Yann. Do Bas and Arthur know we’re…”</p><p>Lucas gives him a silent, considering look before responding. “Arthur knows. I didn’t say anything but… I’m pretty sure he knows. Bas though…” He laughs a little. “He’s clueless.”</p><p>Eliott glances out the front window, pointing to the restaurant sign up ahead on the corner. “That’s his place?”</p><p>“That would be it.” He moves to get out of the car and Eliott follows suit.</p><p>“So, you’re saying I can’t maul you in front of him then,” Eliott comments, as he comes to stand next to Lucas on his side of the car.</p><p>Lucas sighs, looking put out. “You’re not allowed to maul me in front of anyone this weekend. You’re just going to have to control yourself.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Well, I’m not very good at that. Neither are you for that matter.”</p><p>Lucas raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “We were good at that for months of knowing one another.”</p><p>“No, we weren’t,” Eliott laughs. “I wanted to kill you because I couldn’t kiss you.” It’s a bluntly honest statement, one Eliott hadn’t even planned on making. He doesn’t regret though. Lucas stares at him, amusement apparent in his expression, but otherwise stays silent. Eliott steps closer to him, putting himself in Lucas’s space as he reaches for his waist, resting his hands there gently. “Are you really gonna try to say it wasn’t the same for you?”</p><p>“It wasn’t,” Lucas denies, but he’s smiling, eyes lit up with that familiar mischief. “You really did piss me off.”</p><p>Eliott turns him slightly, pushing until Lucas’s back presses up into the car. He leans in closer, enjoying the way Lucas’s eyes keep darting to his lips. “Tell me it’s the same for you,” he whispers.</p><p>“What?” Lucas drops his own voice to the same level.</p><p>“That you…” He trails off, wetting his lips and moving a hand to cup Lucas’s jaw. “You wanted me too. Every time we – even when we were at one another’s throats. Especially then.”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas whispers, pushing up until their lips are just barely brushing as he speaks, “fighting with you ended with me pushing you into an on-call room so I could blow you. What do you think?”</p><p>Eliott’s face splits into a smile. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah, you idiot,” Lucas breathes, bumping their noses together in the gentlest reprimand Eliott could imagine.</p><p>“You just have to be a brat, even when you’re being sweet, don’t you?” Eliott sighs with what is very clearly not annoyance at all.</p><p>“I’m never sweet,” Lucas replies… <em>sweetly</em>. Eliott would tease him for it but kissing Lucas seems to be a much better plan at the moment. They’re both smiling too much for a proper kiss. It’s resembles more of a giddy pressing together of lips. But it’s perfect. Well, perfect until…</p><p>
  <em>“OH MY GOD!” </em>
</p><p>Lucas jumps back but oddly (at least as far as precedent goes) does not push Eliott away, holding him close with a tight grip to his shirt as they both turn to look at the source of the exclamation: Bas. Standing with his mouth hanging open, staring directly at them both.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas exhales with feeling, letting his head fall forward until he’s resting his forehead against Eliott’s chest.</p><p>“YOU’RE –” Bas continues, flapping a hand holding a cell phone in front of him. “You and YOU! And with the – and the mouths! OH MY GOD.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, moving a hand up to run through the strands of Lucas’s hair as Lucas raises his head with an aggrieved sigh. “Bas,” Lucas groans, “would you please just chill?” He drops his hands from Eliott’s chest, moving to his side as they both face Lucas’s hysteric friend.</p><p>“Chill?!” Bas shrieks, high pitched and frenzied. He rushes up to them and for a confusing moment, Eliott thinks he’s about to hug them both. “How can I chill?” He yells instead. “You and HIM? Oh my god. I need to tell Daphne.” Just then, noise from the phone in Bas’s hand becomes apparent. A voice yelling for someone’s attention. “Oh shit!” Bas puts the phone back to his ear. “Babe, you are not going to believe–” He’s cut off before he can finish as Lucas’s snatches the phone away with near violence, quickly ending the call. “What did you just do?” Bas accuses.</p><p>Lucas stares down at the phone as though shocked by his actions as well. He looks back up. “Bas, you can’t tell – fuck, <em>of course </em>you’re going to tell her.” He presses a hand to his forehead. “God, I’m too hungry to handle this right now.”</p><p>Worry overcomes any amusement Eliott was feeling. He moves an arm behind Lucas to wrap firmly around his side. “Are you lightheaded? Shit. You need to take better care of yourself.”</p><p>Lucas drops his hand from his face with a light laugh, looking at Eliott with a patient smile. “I’m just hungry and stressed out by Bas–”</p><p>“Why am I stressing you out?” Bas cuts in but they both ignore him.</p><p>“I’m not about to pass out,” Lucas continues. “Anyone ever tell you, you’re a worrier?”</p><p>“No, actually.” Eliott thinks about it for a moment. “I don’t think I normally am.” Lucas stares at him, apparently unsure what to do with that information. Eliott isn’t entirely sure either.</p><p>“So you want food?” Bas interrupts, face absolutely delighted by this news. “Oh my god!” His eyes widen. “Are you on a date? You were coming to <em>my </em>café on a date?!” Alarmingly he looks like he might cry.</p><p>“No!” Lucas immediately denies – because of course he does. “We were…” He stalls, and Eliott looks on amused, wondering how explaining they were stopping for food before leaving for a weekend away together is possibly any better. “We were just stopping for food after shift.” It’s a disappointingly banal answer. Bas looks like he might agree, glancing between them confusedly, before once more pasting a happy smile on his face.</p><p>“Well that still works for me!” He says, ushering them towards the restaurant with a flailing arm. Eliott keeps his arm tucked around Lucas, leading him to follow Bas. “Did Lucas tell you this is my place?” Bas asks Eliott as he holds the door open for them, his voice swimming with pride.</p><p>“He did,” Eliott smiles, pushing Lucas ahead of him through the door with a firm hand on his back. “It looks amazing.” It really does. It’s an eclectic looking restaurant, a bar spanning one side of the space, and small tables spread through the room, most of them full. There’s a symphony of happy noise coming from the patrons, a couple staff members bustling from table to table, art – no doubt locally made – hanging salon-style against one wall… it’s the exact sort of place that puts Eliott instantly at ease. His smile widens. Lucas leads the way through the space, up to the bar, taking a seat on one of the stools and gesturing for Eliott to do the same. Bas moves behind the bar.</p><p>“We have that desert you like in,” he tells Lucas. “The double fudge brownies?”</p><p>“Oh, hell yeah!” Lucas crows, pumping his fist just once in the air. “Marie made ‘em?”</p><p>“She’s the only one who can.” Bas grins.</p><p>“You have a favourite dessert?” Eliott asks, turning on his stool to face Lucas. “Of course you do.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, spinning his stool to the side and knocking his knees against Eliott’s. “What – you got something against dessert now? Lemme guess, you think fruit salad is a perfect dessert.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “Fruit salad <em>is </em>a perfect dessert. Especially in the summer.” Lucas groans, but before he can leap on that with further mockery, Eliott adds, “But for the record, I like a good chocolatey dessert too.”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Lucas responds, obviously unconvinced. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”</p><p>“Then you will see it,” Eliott rebuts. “Because if you order it, we’re sharing.”</p><p>“We are not!” Lucas scoffs in outrage. “What is with you and sharing? I don’t share my desserts!”</p><p>Eliott pouts. “Fine then. I’ll order my own and we’ll both have fudgey chocolate brownies.”</p><p>“Good!” Lucas huffs. “Was that so hard?”</p><p>“With you? Everything is hard.” And yes, Eliott does recognize the opportunity for a dirty double entendre but generously chooses to ignore it. Mostly because Bas takes that moment to remind them of his presence… by squealing? Eliott is pretty sure that was a squeal.</p><p>“I can’t believe you two are together!” He bursts out. “This is just – this is the <em>best </em>thing. You’re perfect together.”</p><p>“Bas,” Lucas stops him from any further cooing, “that’s not what this is. We’re not –” His eyes move quickly to Eliott, resting for only a moment before he looks back at Bas. “We’re not together. We’re just…”</p><p>“Friends,” Eliott finishes with relish, well aware that this is the one weekend Lucas has to agree.</p><p>Lucas throws him a quick look. “Right. That.”</p><p>Bas’s face pulls together as he looks between them. “But outside you were –”</p><p>“We were just fucking around, Bas,” Lucas insists, dismissive and relaxed.</p><p>“Ok, but –”</p><p>“Could you just… not make it a big thing with Daphne? Please?” Lucas’s eyes are wide and imploring and Eliott doubts Bas is able to say no to them any more than Eliott is.</p><p>“I won’t!” Bas protests, before looking to Eliott. “She’s probably gonna be pissed anyways. She’s got a major crush on Eliott.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott sits up straighter in the stool, feeling a bit uncomfortable now. “I don’t think – I’m sure she doesn’t –”</p><p>“Oh, she does.” To Eliott’s relief, Bas doesn’t seem the least bit perturbed by this. He leans over the bar slightly between them. “The other night, we were role-playing in bed, right? And I –”</p><p>“Bas, I swear to fucking god,” Lucas cuts him off. Eliott will thank him later – he’s thinking orgasms will come into play. “Shut up and please give me alcohol,” Lucas groans, reaching across the bar as though to grab an entire bottle. Bas smacks his hand away. He begins pouring Lucas a glass from a liquor bottle, tipping his chin to Eliott while he does so.</p><p>“What can I get you Eliott?”</p><p>“Just orange juice if you have it.”</p><p>“Sure thing.” Bas nods, handing Lucas his drink and moving towards a back fridge.</p><p>“Orange juice,” Lucas snorts.</p><p>“What’s wrong with orange juice?”</p><p>“Nothing. You sure you can handle a glass though? Or would you prefer a sippy cup?” His eyes are big and bright, so obviously enjoying teasing Eliott.</p><p>“It looks like you two could use some menus,” says a new voice from behind the bar – a young waitress. She smiles, holding two menus. “Friends of Bas?”</p><p>They both nod as they turn to give her their attention. “Lucas is at least,” Eliott clarifies. “I’m lucky enough to just be getting to know Bas.”</p><p>“I didn’t think I’d seen you around here before,” she says, smiling and leaning on the bar in front of him. “I’m Eva. I can serve you tonight.”</p><p>“Bas is serving us,” Lucas interrupts. His hand lands on Eliott’s thigh. <em>High </em>on Eliott’s thigh, and he pushes one of the menus back towards her. “We can share one. Thanks.”</p><p>Her eyes land on Lucas, travel down to his hand on Eliott, and she pushes up and back from the bar with a relaxed smile. “Sure,” she nods at them both. “Enjoy your evening.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles the moment she’s out of earshot. “I could have handled that myself, you know.”</p><p>“Yeah, I’m sure,” Lucas scoffs, turning towards the bar and moving his hand off Eliott’s thigh to grab his drink, taking a healthy sip.</p><p>“You know I was going to reject her, right?” Eliott asks, assessing Lucas’s very tense posture.</p><p>Lucas glances at him. “Reject her like you rejected the peds girl?”</p><p>Eliott sighs. “That’s not fair. I wasn’t trying to reject Clara – not at first.”</p><p>Lucas looks at him, curiosity winning out as he asks, “What were you trying to do then?”</p><p>“Use her like a total asshole to get your attention,” he answers honestly. Lucas’s lips curl.</p><p>“Oh good, you guys got a menu,” Bas says as he plunks down a glass of orange juice in front of Eliott. “Sorry I got pulled into the kitchen. Have you decided what you want?”</p><p>Lucas smiles at him. “Look at you, all-business-Bas. Kinda sexy.”</p><p>Bas snickers. “I know right. Totally does it for Daph.”</p><p>“Ugh. Ok, no more of that.” Lucas shudders. “You just want a chance to bring up role playing again.”</p><p>“You shouldn’t be so uptight, Lucas,” Bas lectures. “Someone needs to loosen you up.” Eliott chokes on his orange juice, nearly spitting it on the bar top as he coughs and sputters. “You alright, Eliott?” Bas asks, looking on concerned.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott wheezes, working to clear the orange juice he inhaled. “Sorry. Wrong tube.”</p><p>“I’ll get the spaghetti carbonara,” Lucas says, without having looked at the menu.</p><p>“Surprise, surprise,” Bas chuckles, as this must be a regular order of Lucas’s. “You need a few more minutes, Eliott?”</p><p>“No, no.” Eliott rushes to open the menu, still clearing his throat of orange juice, but conscious of the fact that Lucas has started drinking and he still doesn’t have food in him. “I’ll have…” He scans the menu. “The vegetarian panini, please.”</p><p>“Coming right up!” Bas whirls around and disappears through a door into the back kitchen.</p><p>“You know,” Eliott says, turning on his stool to face Lucas. “You eat a bunch of pasta and then a brownie, you’re just going to fall asleep on me in the car.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs. “Am not.” He says it exactly like a five-year-old who knows that’s exactly what’s going to happen, but it’s not going to stop him.</p><p>Eliott can’t stop himself from smiling. “You’re such a brat.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees with a shrug, returning Eliott’s smile, “but you like me.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott denies, as he rests a hand on Lucas’s thigh, digging his fingers in just slightly, “I don’t.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>They’re not five minutes into the drive that Lucas has already finished off the brownie he got to go. And it’s not five minutes after that, he’s slumped over against the window, fast asleep, smear of chocolate left at the corner of his mouth. He’s adorable, and he’s left Eliott with only the radio for company. Typical.</p><p>It’s thankfully not a long drive to Eliott’s home in Chartres. Only a little over an hour from Paris with the lighter evening traffic. By the time he pulls into the property drive, Lucas hasn’t moved once. The house is lit up by exterior lights and Eliott can tell a number of the interior lights have been left on for them as well. It’s always an odd feeling coming home – nostalgia mixed with a fair dose of anxiety. The anxiety is somewhat lessened by knowing seeing his parents and introducing Lucas will not happen until the morning. All they need to do is go in and go to bed. Eliott can handle that.</p><p>The moment the car comes to a stop, Lucas blinks awake as though sensing they’ve reached their destination.</p><p>“Oh sure,” Eliott laughs softly, keeping his voice quiet, “now he wakes up.”</p><p>Lucas looks over at him bleary eyed, blinking slowly. “We’re here?”</p><p>Eliott very nearly coos. He’s ashamed of what a close call it is. “Yeah. We’re here. Think you can make it into the house without falling asleep on your feet?”</p><p>Lucas yawns widely, stretching his arms forward with a satisfied groan before he offers Eliott a sleepy smile. “Why? Offering to carry me?”</p><p>“You’re full of pasta and chocolate brownie,” Eliott smirks. “Doubt I’d manage to get you through the front door.”</p><p>Lucas reaches out to half-heartedly hit him across the chest. “The way I eat gives me my ass, which you seem to appreciate just fine, so you can shut your mouth.”</p><p>Eliott can’t argue with that. “Point taken.”</p><p>“Holy shit.” Lucas has turned, looking through the passenger side window out towards the house bathed in moonlight and the few exterior lights. He looks back at Eliott. “You have got to be kidding me.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott knows the house can seem a bit intimidating upon first impression, but he can’t tell whether Lucas’s reaction is positive or not. Lucas isn’t listening. He opens his door and gets out of the car. Eliott does the same, moving awkwardly around it to stand nervously at Lucas’s side as the other boy continues to stare at the house open-mouthed. “Lucas?” Eliott tries again. “Are you… do you not like it?”</p><p>“Like it?” Lucas exhales heavily, turning his face to look at Eliott. “You live in a fucking palace.”</p><p>“I don’t live here anymore,” Eliott points out. “And it’s not a palace.”</p><p>“Fine. An estate. A fucking mansion. Whatever,” Lucas scoffs. “Fuck. I figured you were loaded but this is next level.”</p><p>“I’m not. My parents are –”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Lucas dismisses. “Damn, average. Really haven’t lived the most average life than, have you?”</p><p>Eliott sighs, choosing to move to open the back door of the car instead of deigning that comment with a response. “Let’s get our bags and go get settled in our rooms. I’m exhausted.”</p><p>“Rooms? I have my own room?”</p><p>Eliott pauses where he’d been pulling both bags from the back seat, glancing back over his shoulder at Lucas with an eyebrow raised. “You want to sleep with me?”</p><p>“What? No!” Lucas scoffs, crossing his arms across his chest. “I told you we’re not doing that.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott sighs, running low on patience. “Then what?”</p><p>“Well I didn’t know we were gonna be staying in a fortress like this. Figured I’d just be bunking on the floor or something,” Lucas says with an unconcerned shrug.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott chastises, a little offended by the suggestion, “I wouldn’t have invited you to come stay with my family for the weekend and then made you sleep on the floor.”</p><p>Lucas raises an eyebrow. “Yeah, I know exactly where you’d rather I sleep.”</p><p>Eliott smiles unapologetically. “Well you have your own room, so your virtue can remain intact.”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” Lucas reaches for his backpack, slinging it up on his shoulder. “Better be locks on those doors.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, grabbing his own bag and leading the way to the house. He opens the front door, listening for any noise but the house is silent. His parents must either have the dogs in their room with them or have put them in the guest house. He’s thankful not to be immediately inundated with barking dogs, though he’ll look forward to visiting with all the family pet’s tomorrow morning.</p><p>“C’mon.” He nods to Lucas who stand in the foyer, mouth hanging open as he takes in the space, only half lit in the evening hours. “My parent’s room is on this level,” Eliott explains. “Ours are upstairs.” Lucas nods and follows Eliott through the space and to the staircase. They ascend the stairs and Eliott leads the way down the hall. “This is my room,” he explains, pushing open the door and throwing his bag through without turning on a light. He points to the door across from his. “I’m guessing Agnès set that one up as yours.”</p><p>“Agnès?” Lucas asks quietly.</p><p>“The housekeeper.”</p><p>“Oh.” Every new piece of information seems to stun Lucas more.</p><p>Eliott laughs a little, brushing by Lucas to open his door. He flicks on the light and indeed, Agnès has prepped the room for Lucas’s arrival. There are fresh sheets on the bed and a couple of the windows have been opened a crack to clear the stale air out of the room.</p><p>“Here you go,” Eliott says, stepping into the room and turning back to Lucas, “a bed all of your own.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Lucas breathes, following Eliott into the room. “This room is bigger than any apartment I’ve ever lived in.”</p><p>Eliott hums, not totally sure what to say. He’s never been entirely comfortable with his parent’s wealth, nor people’s reactions to it. It’s not that he resents his upbringing or privilege. He was always very aware – even as a young child – how lucky he’d been to grow up in a situation where money was no issue. But he also learned very young, how quickly people would judge him, and assume things about him, based on this wealth. “The bathroom’s over here.” Eliott moves to point towards a door at one end of the room. “You have your own.”</p><p>“Holy shit.”</p><p>Eliott laughs a little, charmed by the slack-jawed awe on Lucas’s face. “You doing ok?”</p><p>Lucas looks back to him, eyes wide. “I’m not gonna have to fight Emma <em>or </em>Yann for the hot water? I might never leave this place.”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “Well, enjoy it. And if you wake up before me, just come get me up, ok?” Lucas nods. “And I’ll do the same.” Lucas is too busy exploring the rest of the room, to pay Eliott much attention. Eliott makes his way to the door, glancing back at Lucas. “Lucas?” Lucas turns. “Good night.”</p><p>“Good night.” Lucas offers a soft, sweet smile, and Eliott shuts the door.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott is on the verge of sleep – or maybe he was asleep – when suddenly there’s a shadowed figure standing in his doorway. He squeaks in surprise, quickly adding a far gruffer, “What the fuck?!” to make up for it. Pushing up on an arm from the bed.</p><p>“Eliott?” comes Lucas’s soft voice from the door. Lucas. Right. Eliott’s at his parent’s place. Lucas is staying in the room across the hall. Lucas is standing in his doorway?</p><p>“Lucas? Are you ok?”</p><p>Lucas moves into the room, shutting the door behind him with a soft click. He shuffles his feet and his face is bathed in shadow, making it too hard to make out his expression across the distance of the room.</p><p>“Does this house have ghosts?”</p><p>Is Eliott still asleep? The moment feels far too surreal for him to be awake. “Ghosts? What – what are you talking about?”</p><p>Lucas moves a hand to rub up and down his tattooed arm in a soothing gesture. “It seems like an old house is all,” he says. “It’s probably haunted.”</p><p>“Haunted?” Eliott shakes his head, trying desperately to clear the cobwebs of leftover sleep. “Lucas, what’s going on?”</p><p>Lucas shuffles closer to the bed and his face is suddenly illuminated by moonlight. He’s biting his lower lip, shoulders collapsed, face a picture of unease. “It’s just… it’s a little creepy in there.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment more in shock, before a soft laugh bursts from him. “Come here.” Lucas doesn’t move. “Lucas, come here.” Eliott flips the covers of the bed back, patting the mattress beside him. “Sleep with me. I’ll make sure the ghosts don’t get you.”</p><p>Lucas huffs, but walks the rest of the distance to the bed and moves to kneel onto the mattress. He pauses before lying down to look at Eliott. “I’m only doing this because that room in the dark is something out of a horror movie. We’re just going to sleep.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “I’m too tired to get it up anyways.” It’s a bald-faced lie. All he needs to think is Lucas + sex and his dick perks up in interest. But he <em>is </em>tired, and he only wants Lucas to feel comfortable. “Just lay down. I want to go back to sleep.”</p><p>“Fine.” Lucas collapses down onto the mattress, facing away from Eliott, and pulls the covers up over himself. Eliott sighs, rolling onto his back and sinking comfortably back into the mattress, when Lucas speaks again into the dark. “You don’t have to spoon me again or anything.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes open. He turns his head to look at Lucas’s back, already smiling. This stubborn little… With an amused breath, Eliott rolls to spoon himself against Lucas’s back. He settles his head comfortably on the pillow next to Lucas’s.</p><p>“I said you <em>didn’t </em>have to.” Brat.</p><p>Eliott hums. “I know. But this way I’ll notice if the ghosts try to drag you away.” Lucas immediately shoves an elbow back into his stomach.</p><p>“God, shut up!”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, pushing Lucas’s arm back into place and snuggling into his back. “Go to sleep.”</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas whispers. “But if the ghosts come, I’m sacrificing you.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes him closer. “I’ll take you with me.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>A knock on Eliott’s door serves as both of their wake-up call. Eliott has barely registered the noise, nor the sound of his mom’s voice softly calling his name through the wood, when Lucas is frantically shoving his arms away, scampering across Eliott’s body to the side of the bed furthest from the door, and burying himself, head and all, beneath the blanket.</p><p>“Lucas?” Eliott whispers. “What the fuck are you doing?”</p><p>One of Lucas’s eyes peer out at him from beneath the blanket, wide and frantic. “Ssshhh! She can’t know I’m here!” He promptly disappears back beneath the duvet and molds himself to Eliott’s side. In the volume of the blanket, and with as little room as Lucas takes up, he actually has done a fairly effective job of disappearing.</p><p>“Eliott?” His mom calls again, a little louder this time.</p><p>“Come in, mom,” Eliott calls back. Lucas’s nails dig into his side.</p><p>His mom opens the door with a warm smile. “Good morning, darling.”</p><p>“Morning, mom,” Eliott says with a wide yawn, moving one hand beneath the blanket until he finds hair, he tugs until Lucas’s nails subside.</p><p>“I wanted to make sure you got in ok last night.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “We did.”</p><p>“Well, breakfast will be served at eight. You know how your father and I like the schedule.”</p><p>Eliott exhales a sound of amusement. “I know.” It was a routine they’d implementing after Eliott’s diagnosis, believing a rigid routine would help stabilize his moods along with the medication. Eliott always found it more annoying than helpful, but it allowed them to feel like they were doing everything they could. It was a habit they’d never stopped, even after he’d left home.</p><p>“You’ll wake your friend?” She asks.</p><p>Eliott smiles, trying not to think about the fact that said friend’s forehead is currently pressed up against the side of his ribcage. “I will. We’ll be down in time.”</p><p>His mom looks at him softly for a moment before she’s suddenly approaching the bed. Eliott’s hand tightens in Lucas’s hair. When she reaches the side of the bed, she leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, gently stroking his hair back.</p><p>“It’s good to see you, sweetheart.”</p><p>“You too, mom.” Eliott hopes the underlying tension in his voice isn’t too obvious.</p><p>She smiles and makes her way back to the door, gently shutting it behind her. Eliott waits until he can no longer hear her footsteps departing before he speaks.</p><p>“You can come out now.”</p><p>The covers flop back, and Lucas’s face appears, hair a chaotic riot on top of his head. “Fuck.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, reaching to brush Lucas’s hair back from his face. “You didn’t need to hide.” Lucas gives him an incredulous look. “Ok,” Eliott concedes with another laugh, “it would have maybe been a little weird, but my mom’s cool about this stuff.”</p><p>“This stuff?” Lucas sits up, looking noticeably unhappy now. “What? Finding guys in your bed?” Well, fuck. That is what Eliott just implied, isn’t it?</p><p>“No,” he quickly corrects. Pushing up to a proper seated position. “I meant she knows I’m pan. She hasn’t ever found someone in bed with – I’ve never brought anyone home.”</p><p>The brewing anger immediately melts from Lucas’s face, and he drops his eyes, a blush staining his cheeks. “And they’re ok with you – with you not being straight?” He asks, looking back up.</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott shrugs. “They’ve never met a guy I dated – only Lucille actually – so… I guess they haven’t really had to face it, but they’ve never been too weird about it.”</p><p>“You didn’t bring Lucille home?”</p><p>“Our parents are friends,” Eliott explains. “They knew one another before Lucille and I ever dated. So, it wasn’t ever really like that.”</p><p>Lucas nods, looking satisfied with this. “And your dad? He’d be cool with it? You being with a guy?”</p><p>It’s essentially the same question repeated, but there’s a reason Lucas is asking, and Eliott is sensitive to that. “Yes. My dad’s more relaxed about… pretty much everything, than my mom.” Eliott considers for a moment before asking, “And your dad? Does he know you’re gay?”</p><p>Lucas glances up, surprised. “Yeah. Yeah, um, he knew before I ever did.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows pull together. “How could he have known before –”</p><p>“It’s not important,” Lucas quickly dismisses. “Yeah, he knows. And he’s fine with it – as long as it’s not in his face.”</p><p>“In his face?” Eliott replies, already feeling anger towards Lucas’s father building. “What does that mean? As long as you’re never yourself in front of him?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Basically.”</p><p>“That’s horrible.” Eliott will never understand how such terrible people can raise such good people. Though Eliott supposes the way Lucas turned out likely has a lot more to do with his mom. “And what about –” Should he ask? Is it insensitive to ask? It feels like the only opportunity he’ll have to do so. “What about your mom? Did she know?”</p><p>Eliott relaxes the moment Lucas smiles. “Yeah, she knew.” He laughs, eyes landing on the blankets as he gets caught up in the memory. “I sort of freaked out and told her when she was in the hospital. I think she already knew but… yeah, I told her.”</p><p>“What made you freak out?”</p><p>Lucas’s face splits into a smile and his cheeks darken. “Uh, there was this nurse. He was like… Idriss level hot.”</p><p>“You think Idriss is hot?” Eliott knows Idriss is hot of course. There was a time he’d been more than a little appreciative of that fact. Lucas knowing that however…</p><p>Lucas has an eyebrow raised, unimpressed. “You want to hear this or not?”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” Eliott says, properly chastised. “Continue.”</p><p>“Anyways, I was sixteen. I’d already figured out I was gay thanks to –”</p><p>“Even,” Eliott supplies, remembering the story quite acutely.</p><p>“Yeah. And then suddenly there’s this super hot nurse coming into my mom’s room every day. And he was so nice. Fuck.” He laughs. “I thought I was such hot shit, but I was so fucking awkward.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “You still think you’re hot shit.”</p><p>Lucas raises both eyebrows. “I am hot shit.” He moves to push Eliott’s shoulder, but Eliott intercepts his hand, pulling it down to his lap instead and gently playing with his fingers as Lucas continues to tell his story. “I went so fucking red every time he came in the room – my mom totally knew. And she kept asking me if there was <em>anyone </em>I had a crush on at school and… yeah… I just sort of freaked one day and told her.”</p><p>Eliott laughs softly, charmed by this story. “I’m guessing she took it well?”</p><p>Lucas nods, a happy smile on his face. “Ya, my mom was the best.”</p><p>“Sounds like it. Wish I could have met her.”</p><p>Lucas’s smile turns a little wistful and sad. “Yeah.” He clears his throat, eyes dropping to his hand interlocked with Eliott’s. “Guess I should go get ready to meet yours. Do I have time to shower?”</p><p>Eliott releases his hand to turn and reach for his phone on the bedside table and check the time. “Fifteen minutes? That ok? My parents run a tight schedule.”</p><p>“Ok!” Lucas crawls over him, hopping off the bed. He pauses when he reaches Eliott’s door, glancing back. “If I don’t make it back, assume the ghosts got me. That room is haunted.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Probably best to spend your nights in here then.”</p><p>Lucas’s narrow but there’s a slight smile at the corner of his lips as he replies, “Might risk it with the ghosts.”</p><p>Eliott laughs and he’s sure Lucas is too, before the sound is muffled by the shutting of his bedroom door.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“You don’t have to be nervous,” Eliott tells Lucas as they descend the stairs.</p><p>“I know that,” Lucas grumps. “It’s not like I’m <em>meeting the parents</em>. I’m just a friend. This isn’t a big deal at all.” It is most certainly not Eliott he’s trying to convince, but Eliott is nice enough not to point that out.</p><p>Eliott hums, leading the way down the hall and towards the kitchen. His parents come into view at the dining table, and they’re not alone.</p><p>“Alexia!”</p><p>She jumps up from the table the moment she sees him. “You idiot!” She yells. Despite the words, however, she’s circling the table with arms open. Eliott moves immediately into her embrace, wrapping her in a tight hug. “How could you not tell me you were coming?” She complains as they pull away from one another.</p><p>“I was going to,” he disagrees. It’s the truth. He had every intention of visiting Alexia while home. “How’d you even know I was back?”</p><p>She steps back from him slightly, a proud look overcoming her face. “Took over for my dad. I manage the property and the greenhouse now.”</p><p>“That’s amazing, Lex!” It’s been far, <em>far </em>too long since they’ve properly caught up with one another. His mom clears her throat from beside them, and when Eliott glances to her, she looks pointedly behind him.</p><p>“Oh shit!” He swings back around to see Lucas standing awkwardly behind him. “I’m sorry!” He grabs Lucas’s arm to pull him forward. “Everyone this is Lucas. Lucas this is my mom…”</p><p>She tucks her hair behind her ears and stretches out a hand for Lucas to shake with a sunny smile. “Nathalie.”</p><p>“Lucas.” He takes her hand with a smile, as Eliott’s dad stands up and approaches from the table, pushing his glasses higher up his nose.</p><p>“And this is my dad.”</p><p>“Christophe,” he smiles genially. “Pleasure to meet you, Lucas.”</p><p>“You as well.”</p><p>“And this is Alexia. Her family’s property is just next door. We grew up together.”</p><p>Alexia looks quickly to Eliott before she steps forward to greet Lucas, a question in her eyes. He reluctantly shakes his head.</p><p>“Friend,” he says quietly, answering her unspoken question.</p><p>She nods, a new look coming over her face as her eyes land on Lucas. “Hi.” She extends a hand, eyes travelling up and down Lucas’s body, a smile spreading on her face Eliott recognizes all too well.</p><p>“Hey,” Lucas greets, not looking like he minds the thorough appraisal. “So, you two have known one another since diapers or…”</p><p>“Basically,” Alexia confirms. “Don’t exactly remember that far back, but yeah, been putting up with his ass my whole life.”</p><p>“You must have all the embarrassing stories then,” Lucas says with a mischievous smile growing on his face. Eliott doesn’t like the sounds of that at all.</p><p>“Hell yes, I do,” Alexia laughs, moving forward to wrap an arm around Lucas’s shoulders and steer him towards the table as Eliott’s parents move to retake their seats. “If it’s blackmail material you’re looking, I’m your girl.”</p><p>“Alexia,” Eliott warns, only to be completely ignored.</p><p>“Let’s take this to the back deck,” Alexia suggests, grabbing a plate and immediately piling it with food. “You don’t mind, do you Nat?”</p><p>Eliott’s mom laughs. She always has adored Alexia. “Of course not, darling. We’ll catch up with the boys later. Enjoy the morning sun but be warned, the dogs are out there.”</p><p>“Dogs?” Lucas asks, boyish excitement instantly in his tone.</p><p>“Oh yes,” she responds. “I hope you like dogs?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas assures, “I love them.”</p><p>“Well good,” Eliott chips in, “because this house is overrun. We’ve got four. And that’s just the dogs.”</p><p>“Four?!” He looks absolutely delighted now.</p><p>“My wife can’t say no to an animal in need,” Eliott’s dad says, looking up from the news on his iPad with a grin directed at his wife. “A bleeding heart this one.”</p><p>“Well I’m hardly the only one,” she defends, looking to Eliott.</p><p>“That was only the cats,” Eliott argues. “The dogs were all you.”</p><p>“You have cats?” Lucas squeaks, near vibrating with excitement now.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott grins. “Two. They’ll be sunning themselves in the front rooms at this time in the morning. We’ll go say hi after breakfast.”</p><p>“Ok.” Lucas’s face splits in a smile.</p><p>“C’mon,” Alexia says, knocking an elbow into Lucas. “I’ll introduce you to the gang.” Lucas nods eagerly and follows her to the screen doors and then out onto the back deck. A cacophony of ecstatic barking soon follows.</p><p>“You should fix him some food, dear,” his mom suggests. “He went out there without a plate.”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head with a sigh. “He is the worst. I swear he’d live off fries and chocolate if he had the chance, or nothing at all.”</p><p>His parents laugh lightly as Eliott goes about preparing two plates. He adds bacon to Lucas’s and extra potatoes, putting the majority of fruit on his own plate.</p><p>“You’re doing well though, sweetheart?” His mom asks. “Things haven’t been too stressful?”</p><p>Eliott feels a sharp pain in his shoulder blade as he instantly tenses, and he takes a measuring breath before he snaps at her. She doesn’t mean anything by it. She just wants to know he’s well. Calm down, Eliott.</p><p>“I’m fine, mom.” He doesn’t entirely succeed in keeping the snap out of his voice, so he busies himself with adding the final touches to their plates and gesturing towards the back deck. “I’m going to go join them. We’ll catch up later.”</p><p>“Sure, dear.”</p><p>“You feed any of that to the dogs,” his dad warns, “you’re cleaning up the puke later.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes and pushes through the screen door. The sight that greets him is exactly as he should have expected. All four dogs are with Lucas where he sits on one of the lounge chairs. He has the smallest, Izzy, on his lap. She’s staring up at him devotedly as he heaps love on the other dogs. Bear, the boxer sits on one side, leaning up against Lucas’s leg, Archie, the French bulldog is the one current receiving pets as he’s risen up on his hind legs to put his front legs on the chair, his face butting in front of Izzy’s as he demands attention. And Bailey, the white fluffball shih tzu mix, stands at Lucas’s feet, wiggling with excitement. Alexia is on an adjoining chair, laughing at the scene. </p><p>“Of course they fall in love with the new hot guy,” she says. “Can’t really blame them. These dogs have taste.” Eliott hates that he one hundred percent has to agree with that statement.</p><p>“You forgot to get food,” he says as he approaches. The dogs notice his presence and while their reaction is more subdued than it would have been had he come out first, Bear and Bailey at least have the decency to approach with tails wagging. He sets his and Lucas’s plates down on the table in between the loungers and sits to give the two dogs some attention, glancing towards Izzy and Archie as he does. “Traitors. I see how it is.”</p><p>“You heard Alexia,” Lucas scoffs, reaching to snag a potato wedge from his plate, “they have <em>taste</em>.”</p><p>“They just know a sucker when they see one,” he says, watching as Lucas feeds a morsel of the potato to Izzy, and then, obviously feeling guilty, does the same for Archie.</p><p>“Thanks for the food,” Lucas adds, glancing back up at Eliott with a genuine smile. “I heard dogs and forgot about everything else.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, reaching for his own plate and settling back in the chair. Their positions aren’t as comfortable as they would be should Alexia and Lucas have chosen the outdoor dining table, but the thought of separating Lucas from the dogs at the moment, doesn’t hold any appeal. “I get that,” Eliott admits. “I miss being around them a lot.”</p><p>“Oh, just them?” Alexia asks, challenge in her eyes. “Is that why you never call?”</p><p>“You sound like my mom,” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“Well I’m gonna whoop your ass like I’m your mom, I’ll tell you that.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “My mom has never once <em>whooped my ass</em>.”</p><p>“Well maybe that’s where she went wrong with you. You need a good ass whooping.”</p><p>“He really does,” Lucas adds, in the midst of pressing a kiss to the top of Izzy’s head.</p><p>“Ok, ok, no ganging up on me,” Eliott complains. “And I’m sorry,” he offers, looking to Alexia. “I know I should have kept in better touch.”</p><p>“Eh, it’s fine,” she immediately allows – typical Alexia to give him shit only for as long as it is fun, before immediately forgiving him. “I know you’ve been busy. You’re a bigwig surgeon now.”</p><p>“I’m really not.”</p><p>“He’s really not,” Lucas immediately agrees.</p><p>Eliott laughs, reaches over to slap Lucas on the leg. Izzy yips in response, wheeling around in Lucas’s lap with a snort of offense.</p><p>“Izzy,” Eliott chastises with a pout, “I used to be your favourite.” She’s a terrier, so she’s always had attitude… it’s just never been directed at Eliott before.</p><p>Lucas pets her lovingly. “Smart girl.”</p><p>“So, Lucas,” Alexia begins, scotching her chair up closer, “what’s my boy like in the hospital? Give me all the goss!”</p><p>Lucas smirks, throwing Eliott a quick look before answering. “He’s mostly just a pain in my ass.”</p><p>Eliott looks up from the fruit he’d been selecting off his plate. “I am not.”</p><p>“You absolutely are,” Lucas disagrees, eyes begging challenge. He turns back to Alexia. “His favourite thing is getting a patient’s life story while completing what should be quick, routine tasks.”</p><p>Alexia snorts. “That does sound like him.”</p><p>“But I don’t do that to piss you off,” Eliott objects. “I like getting to know the patients.”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas agrees, gesturing with a hand as if Eliott has just made his point. “You do it because you’re <em>nice</em>.” He looks at Alexia. “I swear we work in a place where the majority of staff are there because we want to help people, but he’s the nicest person in the entire hospital.”</p><p>Eliott jaw drops open. That… didn’t sound like an insult at all. In fact, that might be one of the nicest things anyone has ever said about Eliott.</p><p>“You really think that?”</p><p>Lucas turns to him in surprise. His eyes widen as though he’s just realized what he’s admitted. “Well…” His cheeks pinken but there’s a small smile on his face too. “Yeah. Pain in my ass. Like I said.”</p><p>“I think that too.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas’s eyebrows pull together.</p><p>“You’re the nicest person in the hospital.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, a look of curious disbelief on his face. “You hate me.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott reprimands.</p><p>“You <em>hated </em>me,” Lucas corrects.</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “You know that’s not true either.”</p><p>“Well, you think I’m an egotistical dick.”</p><p>“You <em>are</em> an egotistical dick,” Eliott laughs. “Nicest dick I’ve ever known.” He immediately winces at his unintentionally lascivious choice of words. “I didn’t mean it like – like <em>that</em>. I just meant that you’re capable of being both the egotistical dick I want to smother regularly <em>and </em>the nicest person in the hospital.”</p><p>Lucas smiles. “You think I’m nice.”</p><p>Eliott matches his smile with a sweet one of his own. “I do.”</p><p>“Me and my dick.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes but his smile grows. “Like I said… egotistical dick.”</p><p>“So, you two <em>are </em>sleeping together.”</p><p>When Lucas and Eliott turn to her, Alexia is taking a bite out of her toast with a smug smile on her face. Eliott has a feeling he’s not the only one who lost track of their surroundings this time as Lucas looks just as thrown by Alexia’s continued presence.</p><p>“Uhhhh…” Eliott stalls, knowing he and Lucas have likely given themselves away, but also very aware that doesn’t necessarily mean Lucas will admit to it.</p><p>“More important question is,” Alexia says, ignoring Eliott as she continues to look at Lucas, chewing contemplatively, “how serious are you?”</p><p>“We’re – we’re not – I mean, we’re –” Lucas’s stuttering is skipped right over by Alexia.</p><p>“And do you swing both ways?” She finishes.</p><p>Lucas stares at her a moment more before his shoulders relax and a smile breaks out on his face. “Why? You interested?”</p><p>Alexia wiggles an eyebrow, grinning. “It hurts me to say it, but apparently Eli has an eye for hotties.”</p><p>Lucas feigns shock. “Why Alexia, we just met. Are you saying you’d bang me?”</p><p>“Like a screen door in a hurricane. Hard and fast, baby. Quick break in the middle, then we go at it again.”</p><p>Lucas bursts into laughter, abrupt and loud enough that Izzy startles and hops off his lap with unimpressed snort. It doesn’t stop Lucas and Alexia in their shared humour however, leaning together as they laugh. Alexia reaches from her chair to touch Lucas’s hair – to ruffle it or brush it back on Lucas’s hair, Eliott isn’t sure.</p><p>“He doesn’t!” He shouts over their laughter, shocking them both into silence. He lowers his voice as they both turn to look at him with identical expressions of bewilderment. “Swing both ways,” Eliott finishes. “He doesn’t.”</p><p>Alexia raises an eyebrow, looking thoroughly unimpressed. “So, you’re outing people now?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, aghast. Is that what he just did?</p><p>“Well don’t stop there,” Lucas adds in, “might as well just tell her I’m gay.”</p><p>“I – I didn’t mean to –” He <em>did </em>is the thing. “Fuck. I’m sorry, Lucas.” He looks at Lucas imploringly. “I wasn’t thinking.”</p><p>“Sure you were,” Alexia snorts. “You were just doing it with the wrong head.” She directs her gaze to Eliott’s crotch.</p><p>Lucas laughs, more like a giggle now. “Sorry,” he directs at Alexia, “but the asshole’s right. Gay.”</p><p>She sighs. “Pity.”</p><p>Eliott keeps his mouth shut this time, deciding that’s likely his best strategy at this point, and instead drops his attention to Bear, who has taken the opportunity to lay his head on Eliott’s thigh. Eliott would like to think it’s in solidarity. Bear is always the one who takes the brunt of scolding, when really it’s the littler dogs who are the real troublemakers.</p><p>“We’re not mentioning anything though,” Lucas is saying, “about like…” He waves a hand between Eliott and himself. “To Eliott’s parents, I mean. It’s not like that, so we don’t want to give the wrong impression.”</p><p>Alexia eyeballs them both, eyes landing on Eliott. “You were gonna tell me though?” The question falls somewhere between a sincere question and a statement of fact, Eliott would do well to confirm if he values his life at all.</p><p>Eliott glances cautiously at Lucas, knowing answering that he intended to share information about them sleeping together is not going to please him, but being equally aware that Alexia will not be happy with him if he suggests he had no intention of telling her. Fuck. Breakfast wasn’t supposed to be so complicated.</p><p>“There’s just…” He waffles as he considers his wording. “Nothing to tell,” he lies.</p><p>“Nothing to tell?” Alexia scoffs. “You’re sleeping with this hottie and you think there’s nothing to tell?” She gestures towards Lucas who has scooched back in his seat and picked up his plate, concentrating on picking at the food with his fingers.</p><p>“Alexia,” Eliott sighs, “you know what they’re like. Just –”</p><p>“And you know what I’m like,” she interrupts, looking offended. “You think I’m going to tell your parents things you don’t want told?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott immediately backs down, feeling properly chastised. “Sorry. I’m just trying to explain.”</p><p>“Well, relax, your <em>seriously hot</em> secret,” she nudges Lucas’s knee and is rewarded by another giggle and sweet smile, “is safe with me. But enough about that.” She prods Lucas again, throwing Eliott a look that screams trouble. “He ever tell you about that time I took him to see The Ring as kids and he got so scared he peed his pants?”</p><p>“Alexia!” Eliott groans, just as Lucas gasps in delight.</p><p>“Had to walk right by the girl in concession he had this mondo crush on with wet pants!”</p><p>“It wasn’t like that at all,” Eliott complains. “I only peed a little.”</p><p>Lucas snorts with laughter. “Oh my god. Please, tell me more,” he encourages, leaning forward once more on his seat to give Alexia his full attention. “And tell me you have pictures.”</p><p>“Oh, do I have pictures,” Alexia laughs. “Wait ‘til you see the phase he went through when he decided to dye his hair. Never could pull it off like me.”</p><p>Eliott moans unhappily, slumping back in his seat as dramatically as he can manage. Neither of them notice the way he begins to smile.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott points across the lawn towards the small home, decorated with stone and a riot of flowers. “And that’s the guest house. Only we usually have enough room in the main house, so it’s set up more as a working space for – er – Alexia now I guess.”</p><p>“Alexia?” Lucas asks curiously as they make their way across the grass.</p><p>“Yah. Her dad used to manage the care of the property – general gardening and upkeep. Their family owns a greenhouse near here. Sounds like she’s the boss now.”</p><p>Lucas smiles. “That’s as it should be.”</p><p>Eliott snorts in agreement, bumping an elbow into Lucas. “Let’s go in. I love the guest house. It’s so creepy.”</p><p>Lucas’s footsteps falter. “Those are two statements that shouldn’t go together.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, reaching back to grab Lucas by the wrist and pull him along. “It’ll be fun.”</p><p>“Yeah that’s exactly what the young hot couple says before they’re tortured by murderous ghosts.”</p><p>“Young hot couple?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, but the way he avoids Eliott’s gaze speaks for itself. “That’s how it goes in the movies. That’s all I meant. And you were the one who peed yourself watching The Ring. Why do you even like scary places?”</p><p>“I was like six.”</p><p>“Alexia said you were ten.”</p><p>Eliott pouts as he moves to retrieve the spare key from beneath a fake rock. “Stop paying attention to her stories.”</p><p>“When they involve your humiliation?” Lucas says with a cheeky grin. “No can do.”</p><p>Eliott unlocks the door and leads the way inside the old building. There’s a stale quality to the air that says maybe even Alexia hasn’t been making use of the space.</p><p>“Why’s it so dark?” Lucas asks, voice immediately dropped to a whisper as he follows Eliott in.</p><p>“A lot of the unused furniture and art is kept in here,” Eliott explains. “The light from the windows gets blocked out.” Now that he looks, a number of the curtains are closed too, no doubt with security purposes in mind should anyone make their way onto the property and decide to have a peek.</p><p>“Why do you guys have so much stuff?”</p><p>Eliott isn’t even sure of the answer to that question. “Guess they just collected it over the years.”</p><p>“Seems like a waste,” Lucas comments, moving through the room and running his hands over the dusty furniture and paintings. “When I have a house, I don’t think I want really fancy stuff – or much stuff at all.”</p><p>“How are you going to live without stuff?” Eliott asks with a slight laugh.</p><p>Lucas throws him a look over his shoulder. “I’ll have stuff. But like… I don’t know… I’d rather have one couch and be cuddled up with – whoever – and a dog or cat or both – and we just wouldn’t need a lot of space or a lot of things.”</p><p>It’s an incredibly sweet, and surprisingly romantic imagining. Eliott smiles. “I don’t think that’s about the things or the space though. It’s about who you’re with.”</p><p>Lucas turns, curious. “What do you mean?”</p><p>“Like… my parents. It doesn’t matter how much money they have or how many rooms in their house, they’d always choose to cuddle on the couch together. Because they love one another and want to be together.” He walks a little closer to Lucas, stopping in front of him. “We’re surgeons. We’re going to make a good living. There’s nothing wrong with that. It doesn’t automatically mean a life with separate couches.” Lucas’s eyes drop away as he thinks over Eliott’s words. A strand of hair falls down over his forehead and Eliott reaches to push it back. Lucas glances back up at him, and Eliott offers his next words gently. “A small apartment with one couch can be just as lonely as a giant mansion full of possessions. It’s the person you choose to share the space with, not the things.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for an extended, silent minute, before his mouth quirks up in a smile. “That was deep, Demaury.”</p><p>Eliott huffs, dropping his hand from Lucas’s hair. “I have my moments, you know.”</p><p>“Guess you do.” Lucas glances away, turning and continuing his perusal of the room. “You’re lucky – to have parents who love one another.”</p><p>“Yours… didn’t?” Eliott asks tentatively.</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look back at him, but he shakes his head. “Maybe. At one time. I never saw it.”</p><p>“I’m sorry,” Eliott says quietly, heart aching for the boy in front of him.</p><p>“It’s fine,” Lucas quickly dismisses. He stops to look back at Eliott. “After my mom passed, I decided I’d make my own family. And now I have the boys, Manon, and…” He shrugs. “I dunno, eventually I’ll have the rest, but I think I’ve done pretty well so far.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott smiles. “You’ve done ok.”</p><p>Lucas returns his smile, before tipping his chin towards the hall. “You gonna show me the rest of this place, or what?”</p><p>Eliott wiggles an eyebrow. “You ain’t seen nothing yet.”</p><p>He shows Lucas upstairs first, where Lucas spends a good five minutes fawning over the clawfoot tub in the bathroom, before Eliott has to drag him out with the promise that while Lucas doesn’t have one in his own bathroom in the main house, he’s welcome to use Eliott’s. They make a quick detour into one of the storage closets downstairs where Lucas becomes distracted rooting through the shelves. Eliott has a sneaking suspicion he’s looking for embarrassing photographs, but he’ll find none here.</p><p>When they reach the far end of the house, Eliott points to a door, almost hidden on the other end of the kitchen. “Wait until you see this.”</p><p>Lucas takes a sizable step back the moment Eliott opens the door to reveal a darkened staircase leading down to the basement. “Oh Jesus. Cue the murderous ghosts.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Why are they always murderous? Pretty most ghost stories just involve hearing footsteps or moving objects – stuff like that. Not murder.”</p><p>“Ok, stop talking about ghosts.”</p><p>“You started it!” It’s hard not to let his delight show with the way Lucas is positively quailing at the sight of a dark staircase. “Now come on.” Lucas immediately latches hands around one of Eliott’s forearms.</p><p>“You’re going down there?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott raises an eyebrow, “that is the point.”</p><p>“But,” Lucas gulps, staring down into the blackness below, “you haven’t even turned on a light.”</p><p>“It’s an unfinished basement,” Eliott explains, “there’s a ceiling light when we get down there.” Lucas does not look convinced at all. Eliott moves his free hand to rest over Lucas’s hands on his arms. “Just hang onto me, ok? I won’t let the ghosts get you.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs lightly but follows as Eliott begins to descend the stairs. “Like you’re any match for murderous ghosts.”</p><p>“‘Course I am,” Eliott disagrees. “Murderous ghosts know not to mess with me.”</p><p>“Please,” There’s a wobble in Lucas’s voice as he speaks, “you’d probably make friends with them. They’d be your ghost buddies in no time.”</p><p>“Well, maybe they just needed a friend and that’s why they became murderous.”</p><p>Lucas laughs before suddenly tripping on the last stair and falling into Eliott’s back. “Fuck!” He moves his grip to latch onto Eliott’s shirt.</p><p>“You alright?” Eliott chuckles as he reaches for the chain hanging from the roof to illuminate the space. Lucas freezes as the basement comes into view. Then he’s smacking Eliott across the shoulder. <em>Hard</em>. “Ow!” Eliott complains. “What was that for?”</p><p>“You seriously brought me down here?!” Lucas yelps. “This is a horror house, Eliott! Look at this place. This is where murders happen and bodies are buried!”</p><p>Eliott laughs. He can’t disagree. He’d been petrified of this space as a child. That is why he brought Lucas down here after all. But he can’t let him know that. “It’s not that bad.”</p><p>“Not that bad? Not that bad?!!!” Lucas’s eyes widen and he takes a step back up onto the lower stair. “Is this the end? Is this how I die?”</p><p>“Lucas!” Eliott is full-on laughing now, and he reaches for Lucas’s arm to pull him back down. “You deal with literal blood, guts, and gore at work. I’m sure you can handle a creepy basement.”</p><p>“I’ll handle you,” Lucas mumbles. It doesn’t make particular sense but Eliott isn’t sure it’s supposed to. Lucas shakes off his grip and takes a step further into the space, ahead of Eliott. He glances back. “There are more lights, right?”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “Yeah.” He moves past Lucas to lead the way further into the room and reaches for another chain to illuminate the space further. The beginning of the room has been used more as a storage space, wooden framing stabilizing the stone walls. The space narrows as you move further into the room, a number of stabilizing beams giving it an almost industrial feel as you venture further down what becomes a sort of hallway. He looks back towards Lucas who is following warily. “Come on, I want to show you the best part.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “Yeah, I don’t trust whatever you consider <em>best</em> at all.” Despite the words, he follows.</p><p>The room at the end of the hall is Eliott’s goal. It’s the most ‘developed’ of the space. Something resembling proper lighting trails the roof of the bricked room, and Eliott reaches for the switch to illuminate the space.</p><p>“A wine cellar?” Lucas breathes, walking past Eliott and further into the room. “Why would you keep your wine here?”</p><p>“We don’t really,” Eliott explains, watching as Lucas ventures away from him, into the room. “We have a proper cellar in the main house. But my parents like to keep some of the oldest bottles here. Out of sight, out of mind, I guess.”</p><p>“What’s the point of having the best wine if you don’t drink it?” Lucas runs his fingers over the racks housing a number of bottles.</p><p>“You got me. That’s why we’re going to.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas looks back at him surprised.</p><p>“Choose a bottle,” Eliott suggests with a grin. “We’ll have it with dinner tonight.”</p><p>“Really? Your parents won’t mind?”</p><p>“No.” Eliott isn’t actually all that sure, but one thing he’s positive about is that they won’t make Lucas feel bad by making a fuss. “I don’t usually drink much, because… you know,” he gestures vaguely towards his own head in some sort of idiotic attempt at an explanation, “my medication.” Lucas nods. “So, I figure if I’m going to, it should be the quality stuff, right?”</p><p>Lucas grins. “You’re sure?”</p><p>“Un hunh. You’ll choose it?” Eliott suggests.</p><p>“Sure,” Lucas agrees, easy as anything. “Hold on though, I wanna get a picture of this place. The guys are not gonna believe this.” <em>Perfect. </em></p><p>Eliott silently backs up as he watches Lucas position himself at the center of the room, facing away from Eliott as he retrieves his phone to take a photo.</p><p>“I swear to god,” Lucas mumbles. “It’s even scarier in photos.”</p><p>In the narrow hall-like space Eliott slips to the side, positioning himself out of sight behind a wooden partition and well-placed box. He steadies his breathing as he leans up against the wood, listening for the moment Lucas realizes he’s disappeared. Initially Lucas is laughing to himself lightly – probably sending a message to the boys. It’s easy to tell the moment he notices Eliott’s absence. There’s an audible inhale and then total silence until…</p><p>“Eliott?” There’s a wobble in Lucas’s voice and he quickly tries again, annoyance clear this time. “What the fuck, Eliott?” Eliott holds his breath, trying desperately not to let loose the laugh building at the back of his throat. “This isn’t funny. I know you think you’re fucking funny but you’re not.” His voice sounds further away. He’s probably checking the corners of the room. “I’m not scared.” Eliott exhales as silently as possible, biting his lip around a grin. “Not even a little, you dickhead,” Lucas huffs, and his voice is coming closer. Abruptly something falls in the space on the other side of the wooden frames. It’s nowhere near Eliott – he couldn’t even say what it was and to be honest. Even he jumps at the sound. Lucas lets out a slight yell before he silences himself. “Was that you?” Ok, Eliott’s starting to feel a little bad now. Lucas sounds genuinely petrified. “If that was you, I’m not scared.” He absolutely is, and he’s also right behind the box blocking Eliott from being spotted. Eliott steadies his breathing, staying as still as possible. “Eliott?” Lucas whispers as he comes into view. He’s creeping through the space slowly, his head turned in the other direction as he peers into the dark corners of the space towards where the sound had been. “Ok, maybe… maybe I’m a little bit scared.” Eliott takes the two steps to put himself directly behind Lucas. He leans down and whispers.</p><p>“Boo.”</p><p>Lucas yelps, swinging around with eyes wide. The moment he registers it’s Eliott, he’s furious. His eyes narrow and he starts swearing unintelligibly, throwing ineffective fists against Eliott’s chest. It’s… adorable.</p><p>“You stupid – fucking – hate you – dickhead – I was so – asshole!”</p><p>Eliott laughs, grabbing Lucas’s fists and holding them tight to his chest as Lucas huffs, struggling against him only slightly, but face scrunched with frustration. “You were cute.”</p><p>Lucas kicks him in the shin. Eliott only just manages to keep his hold on Lucas as he swears, turning Lucas to press him up against one of the stone pillars to help immobilize him and hopefully prevent further violence. He holds Lucas’s fists firmly to his chest with both hands.</p><p>“Do you always need to resort to kicking me?”</p><p>Lucas pushes against his chest, not enough to displace Eliott, but enough to show his irritation. “Do you always need to resort to being an asshole?”</p><p>“You thought it was funny,” Eliott says, squeezing Lucas’s fists against him.</p><p>“What I think is that you’re never getting laid again. Not by me.” While his words are anything but what Eliott wants to hear, the way he has jutted his lower lip out and stares up through his lashes, tells a different story. Lucas just wants to make him work for it. Eliott can do that.</p><p>“Oh come on.” Eliott steps closer, pressing Lucas’s fist between their chests. “Can’t you feel it?” He tips his head down slightly, lowering his voice and letting the heat of his breath warm the skin of Lucas’s cheek… his neck. The mark he left there has almost all but disappeared. A slightly red abrasion on the skin, the only evidence of Eliott’s mouth. “Your heart beating so fast? Adrenaline pumping through your veins?” His eyes travel of their own volition down to Lucas’s mouth, and he finds himself wetting his own with his tongue. “The way you’re trembling. The way you can’t catch your breath.”</p><p>“You try to kiss me, I’m biting you.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, and pushes back from Lucas, releasing his hold on his hands and raising his own in surrender. “Ok but –” Lucas doesn’t give him an opportunity to finish his sentence. He throws himself at Eliott, clutching his face roughly between hands and pressing their lips together. The kiss is hard and wet immediately, his tongue pressing against Eliott’s, teeth grazing at his lip, and it’s over just as quickly as it started. Eliott staggers forward as Lucas separates them and takes a couple steps back. The air feels hot and hazy, and Eliott’s vision narrows to Lucas alone, beautiful with wild hair and lips glistening… just a step out of reach. Eliott takes a step forward and reaches for him. Lucas immediately bats his hands away and presses fingers to Eliott’s chest, pushing him back.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whines.</p><p>Lucas looks anything but sympathetic. “Go get the wine for tonight. I’m getting out of this hell hole. And if you don’t follow me out in five minutes, know that I’m not coming back for you. The ghosts can have you.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, pointing with a thumb back towards the wine cellar. “You don’t want to choose?”</p><p>“What I want is to kick you in the balls. This is me being nice.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott tries again, dropping his voice to what he’d like to believe are sultry levels, “are you gonna stay mad at me? Or can I make it up to you?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “Your idea of making it up to me better not have anything to do with <em>you </em>getting an orgasm out of it. Then it’s just about you – not me.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Noted.”</p><p>With a final huff and arms crossed, Lucas spins around and hurries through the basement. He trips on the bottom stair on his way out and lets out another litany of curses – Eliott is pretty sure he hears something thrown in about pretty faces and evil assholes – before Lucas disappears up the stairs.</p><p>Eliott quickly makes his way back into the wine cellar, choosing a white wine without much perusal. He doesn’t particularly know wine and it’s a fair assumption that anything in this cellar will be only the finest quality. He hurries across the basement, not to keen on staying in the creepy space alone and smiles as he ascends the stairs.</p><p>Lucas never said anything about <em>him </em>not getting an orgasm out of it.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott and Lucas spend the day in the best possible way – meaning they don’t do much of anything at all. After a tour of the property, they spend the afternoon on the back deck of the house, reading and eating, talking and not talking. Eliott brings out an assortment of books from the family library for them to choose from and only teases Lucas a little when the other boy chooses one of Eliott’s mom’s romance novels. Lucas blushes but is otherwise unapologetic about his choice, his exact words being, “You read all the boring ass Voltaire and Foucault that you want, average. I plan on <em>enjoying </em>my afternoon.” Eliott had of course pointed out that <em>he </em>wasn’t the one randomly dropping the names of famous French philosophers, but Lucas had dismissed him with unimpressed look and declaration that there were bodices that needed ripping and he had no time for Eliott. It was that constant Lucas contradiction. Just when Eliott thought he knew him, the beautiful, ridiculous boy had to go and surprise him.</p><p>The dogs of course had joined them as well, soaking in as much love and attention as they could get. Lucas in particular was more than happy to provide. And Lucas looked… relaxed… and happy – in a way Eliott had never seen him before. And he felt the same. It wasn’t a feeling he normally associated with being at his parent’s home. Despite his best intentions – despite <em>their </em>best intentions, Eliott usually left after visits with a tension headache and knot right at the back of his shoulder blade. Having Lucas here made everything different – <em>better</em>.</p><p>Eliott’s parents mostly leave them alone – Eliott is pretty sure he has his dad to thank for that – and only check in at one point to confirm that they’ll all have dinner together. Lucas is oddly shy around Eliott’s parents, quiet and… demure. Eliott never thought he’d be describing Lucas in such a way. He’s not totally sure what to make of it. At some point in the afternoon, Eliott falls asleep while sprawled out on one of the lounge chairs. He’s prodded awake by Lucas, who has stretched across the space between their chairs to do so.</p><p>He offers Eliott a gentle smile. “Go take a nap. Dinner isn’t for a couple hours anyways.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott insists, bleary eyed and with a new crink in his neck. “You’re our company. I need to –” A yawn breaks his words. “Need to keep you company.”</p><p>Lucas laughs lightly. “Yeah, doing a stand-up job of that. You’re grumpy and tired. Go sleep.”</p><p>Eliott pouts but… the thought of a comfortable bed and a proper nap (something he would normally never have time for, nor indulge in) is incredibly tempting. “You’ll be ok?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’ll be fine.” He ruffles Archie’s fur who has chosen to sprawl across him. “Got the pups to keep me company.”</p><p>Eliott considers him for another moment. “Do you want to come with me? We could nap togeth-”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas immediately interrupts, looking amused if a little annoyed, “go.”</p><p>“Ok. Ok.” Eliott gives all the dogs a quick kiss and a pet before he makes his way back into the house. And while a bed <em>with </em>Lucas would hold much more appeal, a bed at all at the moment is nothing Eliott is going to turn down.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>If he hadn’t set an alarm, Eliott likely would have slept well into the evening. It would seem the toll of their arduous work schedule has caught up to him, as though his body has only just realized he’ll allow proper sleep and it’s more than a little eager to take advantage. He takes a quick shower when he wakes, more to scrub the remnants of sleep off than anything else, and heads back downstairs with a new bounce in his step. He feels a little bad for having abandoned Lucas through the remainder of the afternoon, but Eliott has to admit, the nap was a good idea. He can’t deny his renewed energy.</p><p>Eliott’s footsteps slow as he approaches the kitchen and the sound of voices become clear. Lucas and Eliott’s mom are speaking. Eliott stops at the corner leading into the kitchen and takes in the scene. The two of them are standing on the other side of the center kitchen island and haven’t noticed Eliott yet. They look to be putting together a large salad. A quick glance to the deck tells Eliott his dad is out with the BBQ.</p><p>“Well, I’m impressed,” Eliott’s mom is saying. “I must admit to being a bit lazy where the dressing is concerned. It’s store bought for us most of the time.”</p><p>“It’s really easy to do when you get used to it,” Lucas responds as he squeezes lemon into a small bowl. “My mom always loved my salad dressing.” Wait – Lucas is making salad dressing? <em>Homemade </em>salad dressing?! Did Eliott wake up in a parallel universe?!!</p><p>“What a lovely boy you were to do that.” His mom smiles, rubbing a hand on Lucas’s shoulder, before she returns to tearing the lettuce. “Eliott may have wanted in the kitchen on occasion but we knew better than to allow it. Unfortunately, my son did not inherit my skills, the way you did your own mother’s.”</p><p>“What is this slander?” Eliott interrupts with a grin, walking into the kitchen as they both look up at him in surprise. “You can’t judge me on my cooking skills at sixteen. I’ve improved a lot since then.”</p><p>His mom laughs lightly. “Darling, you forget I chat with Lucille every week.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, a little irritated. “It’s not like I’m cooking for Lucille on a regular basis.”</p><p>“Sure, my love.” Of course she’d take Lucille’s word over his own. Eliott ignores the snappy words bubbling in his throat and turns his attention to Lucas, moving to lean up against the counter next to him.</p><p>“How is it I’m just learning you know how to make salad dressing? This really doesn’t seem like something you should know how to do.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “It’s not that hard. Maybe you should stop making assumptions about me.” It’s a far more biting comment than Eliott had expected, though Lucas says it with a light tone.</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “You hate salad. It’s not an unfair assumption.”</p><p>His mom immediately gasps. “You hate salad? Darling, why didn’t you say something?”</p><p>Lucas shoots Eliott a look like murder, before directing a kind smile his mom’s way. “Not at all,” he <em>lies.</em> It’s definitely a lie. “Your son’s salads are a different story though. Like you said, he didn’t inherit the chef gene.” Eliott gapes. Lucas hasn’t even <em>tried </em>any of Eliott’s cooking. And it doesn’t matter what salad Eliott gets from the cafeteria at the hospital, Lucas turns his nose up at them all. Lucas sees a vegetable and goes screaming and running the other direction. What is he – is he trying to <em>impress </em>Eliott’s mom? At the very least, he seems to be trying to make a good impression. That is so… <em>sweet</em>. So incredibly sweet, Eliott isn’t quite sure what to do with himself. Lucas is <em>trying. </em>Trying for <em>Eliott</em>. He’s standing in Eliott’s kitchen, with his mom, making salad dressing, about to sit down to a family dinner with Eliott’s parents and pretend he likes salad. Eliott wants to kiss him.</p><p>“Stop it,” Lucas hisses, as Eliott’s mom turns away to check on the rice simmering on the stove.</p><p>Eliott slides a little closer. “What?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes dart to Eliott’s mom before they move back to him, glaring daggers. He doesn’t answer the question, instead jerking his head towards the patio. “Go be useful and help your dad with the barbeque.”</p><p>“Oh, good idea,” his mom joins in as she moves back to the counter. “Make sure he doesn’t overcook the meat, would you darling? You know how he has a habit of doing that.”</p><p>Eliott cringes. “I don’t want to watch him cook meat.”</p><p>“There’s a veggie burger on there for you too,” his mom adds with an eyebrow raised, “and I’m sure he’d enjoy the company.”</p><p>Eliott looks from her to Lucas and knows immediately the argument is lost. Lucas’s eyes are wide and so very blue, and there’s a slight, telltale curl to one corner of his lips – the perfect blend of sweet with a little bite. Lemon drop indeed. Eliott doesn’t say another word, turning to head for the back porch, and listening as Lucas and his mom giggle behind him.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Dinner is – over all – a nice affair. Lucas’s previous nerves seem to have melted away in the time he’d spent helping Eliott’s parent’s prepare dinner. He’s chatty and engaging, entertaining everyone with stories from the hospital – a few at Eliott’s expense, but Eliott would have expected as much – and it’s obvious that both of his parents are entirely taken with Lucas. It runs in the family, Eliott supposes. Eliott’s never given a lot of thought to introducing his parents to someone he’s – well – seeing in any capacity. They’d already known Lucille when Eliott dated her. And he’d never felt the need to introduce anyone else to them. And while he and Lucas might not be ‘dating’ in any sort of official terms, there’s something oddly energizing about knowing how much his parents like Lucas – that they <em>approve </em>of him, even if only as Eliott’s <em>friend. </em></p><p>And it’s just… nice. It’s so nice to have a dinner with his parents with someone else taking up the burden of conversation. Eliott knows its unfair to think of conversation with his parents as a burden but… that’s honestly what it feels like at times. It’s <em>tiring</em>. He loves them, and he knows they love him, but it also feels as though he’s constantly fighting to prove just how <em>fine</em> he is, just how capable he is – like he started at sixteen after his diagnosis and never stopped. Tonight though, he relaxes into the conversation, laughing along with his parents when Lucas recounts a story of getting lost in the hospital during his first week and ending up at the morgue, thinking it was a sign of the death of his career. It’s just incredibly nice to have Lucas with him – to have support, even if it’s not intentional on Lucas’s part.</p><p>“And it hasn’t been too much?” Eliott’s mom asks. “The long hours? It must all be incredibly stressful.”</p><p>“It can be,” Lucas admits. “The lack of sleep and the expectations – not just others, but our own. It’s a lot. But we all knew what we were getting into.”</p><p>His mom frowns, eyebrows pulling together in concern. “And you Eliott?” She turns her attention to him. “Has it been too much for you, sweetheart?” Eliott tenses immediately. He wishes he wouldn’t – wishes he could control it – but there’s a sharp stabbing pain where his shoulders meet, muscles bunching and locking. <em>Too much</em>. He hates those words.</p><p>“No.”</p><p>Lucas looks over at him, no doubt surprised by the cold tone Eliott has used to respond.</p><p>“Nathalie,” his father warns gently.</p><p>“It’s a simple question,” his mom responds, and Eliott can see she’s grown just as immediately tense. “You know how important a good night’s rest is for you, Eliott,” she lectures. “You don’t respond well to extreme stress –”</p><p>“Mom,” he interrupts, not bothering to keep the annoyance out of his tone, “I can deal with stress and less sleep. I’m a surgeon. This is my life.”</p><p>“By choice,” she interjects. “You don’t have to live this life, Eliott. You could choose something more suited to you.”</p><p>“This <em>is </em>suited to me. I’m good at it!”</p><p>“Well, of course you are.” Her tone could not be more patronizing. “But that doesn’t mean it’s suited to you.”</p><p>“What does that even mean?!”</p><p>“This isn’t a conversation we need to have right now,” his father once more attempts to diffuse the tension but it’s of no use.</p><p>“When should we have it then, Christophe?” His mom argues turning to his father. “When we’re proven right? When it overwhelms him, and we’re left to pick up the pieces?” She looks back at Eliott, her eyes imploring. “Eliott, I love you. I only want what’s best for you.”</p><p>“I decide that, mom.” Eliott’s voice has weakened without his consent, sounding fragile and uncertain. “I decide what’s best for me.”</p><p>“Of course. I’m not trying to make your choices for you.” But isn’t she? Isn’t wanting him to make the choices she would make, doing exactly that? “And Lucille said –”</p><p>“Lucille?!” He sees red. “Are you kidding me?! God, it’s always the same thing over, isn’t it –”</p><p>“No,” his mom immediately protests. “It wasn’t like that. She merely said you have trouble sleeping when you’re stressed and –”</p><p>“Enough!” His father’s voice is loud and authoritative now, silencing everyone at the table. He softens it immediately when he has their attention. “This is not a productive conversation.” He looks between them sternly. “And this is not how we should be speaking about this. Your mother and I support you Eliott. In everything you do. We only worry.” He raises a hand when Eliott opens his mouth to speak. “I know. But airing out our family angst in front of Lucas is hardly a fair thing to be doing.” Eliott startles. It’s not that he forgot Lucas’s presence. He doesn’t think there’s ever been a time since meeting Lucas that Eliott has been unaware of his presence. But in the moment, he’d forgotten what that means; That Lucas is here to witness this, that he’s likely feeling incredibly uncomfortable – that Eliott ruined what had otherwise been a really pleasant dinner – pleasant because of <em>Lucas</em>. God, Eliott is such an asshole.</p><p>“You’re right,” his mom comments, looking apologetic. “I’m sorry, Eliott. And I’m sorry, Lucas. You fit in so well I think I forgot for a moment you’re not already family. But my husband’s right, this isn’t the time or place for this conversation.”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Lucas responds, sounding like he means it. “No apologies necessary. I was going to ask about the property actually. Is it quite old?”</p><p>Eliott’s parents visibly relax at the question. His father smiles. “Yes, quite. It’s not the most exciting history but it is interesting.” With one of his favourite topics introduced, Eliott’s dad happily rambles, detailing the history of the property as Lucas listens attentively, and Eliott’s mom offers the occasional addition.</p><p>Eliott notices his hands are shaking and moves them down to his lap. “I’m sorry.” It’s barely a whisper, barely audible at all, said only for Lucas. Eliott isn’t even sure Lucas has heard him, not until Lucas shifts in his seat, and suddenly his hand lands on Eliott’s thigh, warm and comforting. He squeezes, thumb rubbing gently against the fabric of Eliott’s jeans. Eliott’s breath comes easier.</p><p>“Really?” Lucas responds to something Eliott’s father has said. “Were there changes made at that point?” Eliott has no idea what they’re talking about. All he can focus on is Lucas’s hand. Eliott moves one of his own to cover Lucas’s, gliding fingers gently across the skin. Lucas’s hand turns beneath his, and then he’s lacing their fingers together, squeezing Eliott’s hand tightly in his own. Eliott’s heart stutters in his chest, before a wash of calm overcomes him. Lucas pulls both their hands back to his lap, beneath the table, and cradles them in his other hand, thumb rubbing gently against Eliott’s skin as he continues to chat with Eliott’s parents. Words are rising at the back of Eliott’s throat. So many words. <em>Thank you. I couldn’t do this without you. I don’t know how I ever did. I’ve never needed someone like this. I never thought I’d find you. I’ve never been so scared to lose something I don’t even have. </em>And others. Others Eliott isn’t quite ready to speak, not even to himself. But they remain, throbbing and present, and begging for voice. He recognizes the feeling though he’s never felt it quite like this before. And he knows it – he knows it in his gut – he knows it in a way he doesn’t doubt, doesn’t fear…</p><p>He’s falling.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>They’re both silent as they climb the stairs to the second level of the house. There’s a gentleness to the quiet between them, a tenuous connection Eliott is reluctant to let break. When they reach the door to their rooms, Eliott looks to see Lucas staring at his own, trepidation clear on his face.</p><p>“You really going to risk it with the ghosts?” Eliott asks with a cheeky grin that only widens when Lucas turns a glare on him. “I have it on good authority, my room is ghost-free.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs but he’s pushing by Eliott without another word, opening Eliott’s bedroom door and marching in with Eliott following behind him with a smile.</p><p>“Why do you get the non-creepy room?” Lucas asks, glancing around the room as though taking it in for the first time.</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “It’s my childhood bedroom. I promise I didn’t intentionally give you the room with ghosts.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t acknowledge the comment, moving about the room as he explores the various trinkets and items that serve as snapshots of Eliott’s life. He stops at the bookshelf, reaching to pull something out from between two books. He turns back to Eliott with a grin, showcasing a copy of the X-Men in comic book form.</p><p>“Sofiane’s the fan, hunh?”</p><p>“I told you I liked the art,” Eliott says with an unashamed smile.</p><p>Lucas flips through the pages, shaking his head in something like wonder as he does so. “Can’t believe you just put ‘em on your bookshelf.”</p><p>“Why?” Eliott asks confused, coming to stand across from Lucas. “Where’d you keep yours?”</p><p>Lucas looks up at him, cheeks pink and smile just this side of embarrassed. “Under my bed.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs. “Like porn?”</p><p>“<em>Exactly</em> like porn,” Lucas says, joining Eliott in his laughter as he moves towards the bed, taking a seat on the edge as he flips through the comic book. He looks back up at Eliott. “Not like actual porn was all that easy for a closeted gay kid to get his hands on. Especially not with a shared computer at home.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, thinking of his own foray into some pretty explicit magazines before he ever explored the joys of the internet. “I don’t know, Idriss and I never really had a problem.”</p><p>Lucas breathes out a noise of humour. “Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He sighs, closing the comic book and looking back up at Eliott ruefully. “It was different for me. I wasn’t into what my friends were into and I couldn’t tell them that. But comics? Everyone was into comics – and no one really noticed that I was more interested in the guys abs than his superpower.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, incredibly enamoured by the thought of baby-teen Lucas lusting over comic book characters. “Fuck. You must have been adorable.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “Awkward as fuck is probably more accurate.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees, somehow able to picture Lucas perfectly despite having had no visual reference. “I know exactly what you would have been like, with those giant blue eyes and that way you pout, so damn cute but such a little brat. God, teen-me never would have stood a chance.”</p><p>Lucas immediately disagrees. “You wouldn’t have even noticed me. You were probably another Even. Had everyone falling over themselves the second they saw you, confident, and way too fucking gorgeous for high school.”</p><p>“You think I’m gorgeous?” Eliott grins. It’s not the first time Lucas has said something in this vein, but it <em>is </em>the first time Eliott’s had the opportunity to tease him for doing so.</p><p>“I’m saying Even was gorgeous.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “Well, Even didn’t notice you.”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks for the reminder.”</p><p>“No, I’m just saying,” Eliott argues, “I would have.”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head with a smile, looking charmed by Eliott despite himself. “You think we would have wanted to kill one another on sight as teens too?”</p><p>“We didn’t want to kill one another on sight as adults,” Eliott reminds him. “I remember it a lot differently than that actually.”</p><p>Lucas drops his eyes to the bed sheets, running his fingertips across it. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Come on.” Eliott reaches for Lucas’s hand, pulling him up from the bed and walking backwards as he leads them to the bathroom.</p><p>“What are we doing?” Lucas doesn’t resist, letting Eliott tug him easily by the hand.</p><p>“I promised I’d let you use my clawfoot tub,” Eliott reminds him.</p><p>“You want to take a bath together?” Lucas doesn’t sound opposed to the idea, merely surprised.</p><p>“No,” Eliott corrects, “I want to draw you a bath. Said earlier I’d make it up to you, didn’t I?”</p><p>Lucas looks amused by the suggestion, following Eliott into the bathroom. “I’m not the one who got raked over the coals by my parents at dinner.” He looks apologetic the moment the words are out, and adds, “I just mean… shouldn’t I be drawing <em>you </em>a bath?”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, not offended in the least, and a little touched by the idea that Lucas wants to take care of him, but… “I’m fine, Lucas. That wasn’t exactly an unfamiliar conversation.” Lucas nods as though he’d already come to that conclusion for himself. Eliott places the stopper in the bathtub and turns on the taps as he speaks, testing the temperature until he’s satisfied. “I’m sorry you got dragged into it but… I’m really ok. I want to take care of you,” he looks at Lucas from his perch on the edge of the bathtub, “if you’ll let me.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, looking awkward and sweet. He moves a hand to the sleeve of his t-shirt and tugs at it nervously. “If you want. I guess.”</p><p>Eliott smiles satisfied and goes about setting up the bath while Lucas snoops in the cupboards. Eliott peruses the selection of bubble bath before selecting the option guaranteed to be the most sickeningly sweet: vanilla birthday cake. He adds a generous amount, testing the temperature once more and adjusting it slightly. Next, he carefully goes through a number of additional products, choosing things he thinks Lucas will enjoy, a large loofah, his most expensive soap, a delicious smelling body cream for afterwards. He turns to Lucas who leans, fully clothed against the counter opposite the bath.</p><p>“You should have everything you need. These lights dim.” Eliott stands, moving to the dimmer by the door and setting the lights to a softer level. “Just let me know if you need anything else.”</p><p>“You’re not staying?”</p><p>Eliott looks to Lucas in surprise. “You want me to?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, moving to the bath and leaning down to run his fingertips through the water before he looks back at Eliott. “Not about to share but the least you can do is stay and keep me entertained.” He raises an eyebrow. “If you think you can control yourself.”</p><p>“That depends,” Eliott challenges back.</p><p>“On?”</p><p>“Will you let me help you wash?” He grins, a little cheeky with it. “A lot of spots you might not be able to reach.”</p><p>Lucas reaches for the bottom of his t-shirt, pulling it off in one seamless movement. Eliott’s mouth parts. Lucas cocks an eyebrow, moving his tattooed arm against his body, he traces a thumb down his sternum, down his abs, hooking it on the edge of his pants. Eliott’s heartbeat pounds in his ears.</p><p>“We’ll see.”</p><p>He unfastens his pants, and quickly strips himself of the clothing, pushing his briefs down as he does so. He doesn’t make a show of it, fastidious and practical. He kicks the material aside and turns to the bath. Eliott gets so caught up in staring at Lucas’s ass – he didn’t know until Lucas that someone could have an ass that perfect – that he doesn’t realize Lucas is talking to him until he sinks into the water and his ass disappears from view.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, shaking his head to clear it as he catches the tail end of Lucas’s words.</p><p>Lucas laughs lightly, sinking back against the edge of the tub with a contented sigh. “I said, it feels like I’m getting into a bath with birthday cake.”</p><p>Eliott brightens with a smile, moving to sit on the fluffy bathmat next to the tub. He rests an arm against the edge, dipping fingers into the water. “That’s the name of the bubble bath. You like it?” He already knows Lucas does. Anything that smells like a cavity waiting to happen is bound to please Lucas’s senses. Eliott knows him well enough by now to know that.</p><p>Lucas hums, eyes opening as he tilts his head to look at Eliott. “We didn’t drink the wine.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“The wine. From the horror movie cellar.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. It’s true. He had forgotten about it entirely in all honestly. It still sits in the fridge downstairs. “You want me to go get it?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas replies, “just saying.” He moves a hand in the water to meet Eliott’s fingers gliding through the foam. Wet fingers connect with Eliott’s, sliding up to trace his palm. Eliott shivers, spreading his fingers as Lucas scratches fingernails against the sensitive nerve endings. Lucas lifts Eliott’s hand, dragging it through the water to his chest, where he lays it, palm pressed to the warm skin. “I never really take baths anymore,” Lucas comments, tips of his fingers smoothing across Eliott’s spread on his chest. “The bath in our place is too tiny and there’s never enough hot water.”</p><p>Eliott tries to follow the words, but his hand is on Lucas’s wet, naked skin, and his thoughts have grown hazy and slow. “I – um – I don’t – I don’t really take baths.” He can’t take his eyes off his hand spread on Lucas. He moves his thumb to swipe droplets from the skin before sliding it lower, submerging it in the water against Lucas’s sternum.</p><p>Lucas’s chest rises on an inhale, breath coming more quickly now. “How can you have a bath like this and not use it?”</p><p>Eliott sits up to a kneel, allowing him more freedom of movement, and smooths his hand lower in the water before stopping to scrape fingernails across Lucas’s abs, relishing the way it makes Lucas shiver despite the heat of the water.</p><p>“I don’t,” Eliott comments. “Have a bath like this, I mean. Only have a shower at my place.”</p><p>“Showers are good.” Lucas’s voice is no more than a whisper now.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott rumbles, moving his hand lower until he can press fingers into Lucas’s lower belly.</p><p>“Eliott.” A broken groan. His hands move to encircle Eliott’s arm, one low on his forearm, the other on Eliott’s bicep, wetting the edges of his tank. Eliott doesn’t mind.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whispers, “can I touch you?”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas groans, shifting abruptly in the water and causing a wave to splash against Eliott’s arm, “please. <em>Please, please</em>.”</p><p>Fuck. Eliott doesn’t know how Lucas is managing in the heat of the water. Eliott feels like he’s going to burn up on the spot. He kneads his fingers into the skin of Lucas’s belly, watching the way Lucas’s breath catches, before he slides his hand lower to find Lucas’s cock, already half filled. Lucas’s hands stay wrapped around Eliott’s arm, grip tightening, but he doesn’t hinder the movements. Eliott wraps his hand around the base of Lucas’s cock, squeezing as he feels it plump and harden against his palm. He watches Lucas’s face, watches as Lucas’s eyes flutter and close, watches as his mouth parts and his tongue darts out to wet his lower lip. Gliding his hand up Lucas’s erection, he encircles the head, flicking his thumb across the tip. Lucas shifts again in the water, a spasm of pleasure, and releases a low moan. Eliott keeps his pace slow, smoothing his hand up and down Lucas’s erection in the water, in a firm, tight grip that has Lucas throwing his head back and biting his lip around another noise. His face is flushed, far redder than it’s ever been before, and Eliott has a feeling his own is the same. It feels as though someone has increased the temperature of the room by twenty degrees.</p><p>“You’re so fucking beautiful.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes flutter open and he tips his head to look at Eliott, gaze hazy and breath coming in sharp pants. Eliott doesn’t stop the movement of his hand up and down the heat of Lucas’s cock in slow, intentional movements. The hand on Eliott’s forearm releases it’s hold, and Lucas raises it out of the water, gripping the edge of the bathtub instead. His other hand on Eliott’s bicep crawls up, under the sleeve of his tank to bite nails into his shoulder as he pants.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas whines, “want you – ungh – want you inside me.”</p><p>Eliott’s cock jerks in his pants and he’s suddenly <em>painfully</em> aware of just how desperate his own level of need. But this isn’t about him. This is only for Lucas.</p><p>“Another time, baby,” Eliott whispers, stopping at the base of Lucas’s cock to fondle his balls. “Want to be inside you too but –” He has to swallow, breath coming short and words cracking in his throat. “But this is for you, ok? Just for you.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his head until he’s looking at Eliott, eyes wide and unfocused. Eliott moves his free hand up to Lucas’s hair, threading it through the strands and pressing his thumb to Lucas’s temple. Lucas pushes into the contact, nuzzling his lips into Eliott’s wrist as his eyes flutter shut once more.</p><p>“Eliott,” he whispers, lips moving against Eliott’s skin. “Make me – make me feel so good.” His words are slurred and almost unintelligible. Eliott hears them all the same.  </p><p>Eliott shifts his body closer, chest pressed uncomfortably to the hard edge of the tub. “Open your eyes, baby.” He rubs his thumb at Lucas’s temple, until blue eyes come back into view. “Yeah. Love those eyes.” He keeps his hand at head of Lucas’s erection, palming at the tip before he grips, jerking him off with the same sedate pace, slow but relentless. “Love the way you look at me.” Lucas’s eyebrows bunch together, and the nails of the hand at Eliott’s shoulder dig more bitingly into the skin. He’s going to leave a mark. The thought courses through Eliott in a bolt of pleasure so intense, he very nearly considers grinding his aching cock up against the side of the tub – <em>anything </em>to offer some relief. He focuses on Lucas instead. “God,” Eliott croaks. “Love the way you look right now.” Lucas whines and the nails of his other hand gropes for purchase against the side of the tub. He’s close. Eliott tightens his grip around Lucas’s cock, stroking once up and down the length before massaging the head. “Love the way you look when you come,” Eliott chokes, overcome. “Only ever want to look at you. I could look at you forever.”</p><p>Lucas throws his head back on an inhale, and then his body is jerking in the water as he comes. Eliott strokes him through it. Both of Lucas’s hands move to Eliott’s forearm, tightening around the muscle as his orgasm continues to roll through him. It lasts longer than Eliott expected, and it’s not until Lucas’s hands loosen their grip on Eliott’s arm, and he slumps back against the edge of the tub, that Eliott releases him, moving his hand up and out of the water. He moves his other hand to pet back Lucas’s hair, damp with sweat and the moisture in the air, waiting until Lucas’s eyes reopen and settle on him.</p><p>Eliott smiles at him gently. “That was good, baby.”</p><p>Lucas giggles, a hiccup of laughter. “Did you just–” He’s out of breath still and inhales deeply before continuing, “praise me for having an orgasm?”</p><p>Eliott laughs a little too, ruffling Lucas’s hair until a few strands fall down over his forehead. “Yes. Positive reinforcement is important.”</p><p>Lucas giggles again, sweet and relaxed in his post-orgasm state. “You say thank you after every blowjob too?”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Eliott grins, “did I?”</p><p>Lucas’s forehead wrinkles and his eyes drift away as though he’s giving it serious thought. “I don’t think you did. Very rude of you.”</p><p>“It was,” Eliott says with a laugh. “I’ll make up for it next time.”</p><p>“You so sure there’s gonna be a next time?” The words sound like a challenge, but Lucas’s tone is not. There’s an insecurity layered beneath the question.</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott answers honestly. “Aren’t you?”</p><p>Lucas considers him for a moment, eyes soft and more open than Eliott’s ever seen them. Without barriers or pretenses veiling his feelings, they shine through. “Yes.” He swallows, eyes dropping away for a moment before he looks back at Eliott, just as guileless. “What about you?” Eliott draws his eyebrows together in confusion until Lucas continues in a voice that could nearly be described as shy, “You didn’t come. Do you want –”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head immediately, catching one of the strands of hair on Lucas’s forehead and threading it back against his head. “No. I’m fine.” Lucas raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Really. You finish up in here. I’m gonna go get ready for bed.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, sitting up in the tub. “You mean jerk off in the other room?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott laughs. “Really, I’m fine,” he repeats as he stands, stretching out his cramped legs. Lucas’s eyes drop to the front of his pants.</p><p>“You don’t look fine.”</p><p>Eliott grimaces as he looks down to where his erection strains against the material of his jeans. “It’ll go down.”</p><p>“It?” Lucas laughs. “Don’t you mean ‘he’? How dare you disrespect him like that.”</p><p>Eliott sighs and turns for the door. “I’m leaving.”</p><p>“Ok, well, tell mini-Eliott I say hi.”</p><p>Eliott turns back to look at Lucas, unimpressed. “Mini-Eliott?”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Lucas hums. “That’s what I’m calling your dick until you give him a proper name.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Eliott groans around a laugh. “Fuck. You really are the biggest brat around.”</p><p>“Well… as long as I’m the biggest.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I’m leaving.”</p><p>“So you said.”</p><p>“And I’m <em>not</em> going to jerk off.”</p><p>“Mmhmm, very believable.”</p><p>Eliott gives Lucas one last look, filled with so much affection he’s surprised it’s not pulsing in the air between them, vibrant and alive, before he leaves, shutting the door softly behind him. In truth, his dick <em>is </em>absolutely aching for relief. The thought of getting a hand around himself is more than a little tempting. But he meant it when he said that had been about and <em>for </em>Lucas. Getting himself off right now would feel like he’d proven himself unworthy of the bratty boy laughing at him in the other room. With that said, knowing Lucas, just on the other side of the door, is still naked, soft and giggly after a hand job courtesy of Eliott, is doing Eliott no favours when it comes to reining back in the expectations of his dick. He needs some air.</p><p>Listening into the hall for a moment until he’s sure his parents aren’t wandering the house in the late hour, Eliott makes his way uncomfortably down the stairs. There’s no adjusting his erection in his pants at present. Eliott fears that should he try, the moment he gets a hand on himself it will be game over. Instead he walks bow-legged until he reaches the front door, stepping out into the cool night air and pressing himself back against the stone exterior. He inhales, breathing deeply in, then out, letting his thoughts peter out into nothingness. He stares up into the night sky. Unimpeded by lights far softer than Paris, the stars glitter in the evening sky, and Eliott seeks out to name the constellations he used to search for as a boy.</p><p>He can’t be sure how long he stands outside shivering in the night air, but it’s long enough for his dick to forget its original intent and soften in his pants. By the time he walks back into his bedroom, Lucas is sitting in the middle of his bed, duvet pooled up and around him. He flings it back the moment he sees Eliott, his expression fierce.</p><p>“Why weren’t you here?!”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, shocked by the fury in Lucas’s tone. “I went for some air – why are you –” He cuts himself off, noticing that Lucas is… shaking. He’s in his boxers, chest bare, but it doesn’t appear to be from the cold, his skin flushed with the residual heat of the bath. Eliott’s face splits in a smile. “Were you <em>scared</em>?”</p><p>“Shut up!” Lucas moves to a kneel on the bed, pressing fists against his thighs to stop his hands from shaking. “No!”</p><p>“You were,” Eliott delights. “Was it the ghosts again?”</p><p>“There were noises in this room!” Lucas immediately defends. “And then I came in and you weren’t even here.”</p><p>“Ah.” Eliott nods with exaggerated seriousness as he approaches the bed, stripping himself of his clothing as he goes, until he’s left in only his briefs. “Definitely ghosts then.”</p><p>“Well, what else would it be?” Lucas huffs, crossing his arms against his chest, eyes tripping over Eliott’s bare chest, before he catches himself, and they dart away.</p><p>“You’re right. Murderous ghosts is definitely the first explanation I’d leap to.”</p><p>“You’re such a dickhead!” Lucas reaches for a pillow, chucking it at Eliott though it barely makes it a foot from the bed, falling to the floor with a soft thump. “It would serve you right to be murdered by ghosts! Pretentious fucking asshole, leaving me here alone. And you didn’t even say you were leaving, and anything could have happened and –” Eliott cuts off his ranting in the most effective way he can imagine doing so – by leaping and tackling Lucas back onto the bed. Lucas shrieks, falling back without any fight as Eliott wraps arms around him. “Eliott!”</p><p>“I won’t let the ghosts get you,” Eliott laughs, blowing a raspberry into Lucas’s neck just… because. He feels like it and he doesn’t want to question it.</p><p>Lucas starts laughing immediately, squirming in Eliott’s hold. “Stop! Eliott!”</p><p>“Ssshhh!” Eliott laughs, releasing his hold on Lucas and propping himself above him. “You’ll have my parents up here, you keep yelling like that.”</p><p>Lucas schools his face, making an adorable attempt to look stern. “If you weren’t such a dickhead, I wouldn’t have to yell at you.”</p><p>Eliott hums in agreement. “You gonna yell at me if I go brush my teeth? Promise I’ll leave the door open so you can see me at all times.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “I’m not a child.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow, staring down at him. “So, you can handle the ghosts until I get back?”</p><p>“Shut up!” Lucas pushes him away as Eliott laughs, rolling to a stand at the side of the bed. He offers Lucas a quick wink before sauntering his way to the bathroom.</p><p>True to his word, he keeps the door open as he washes his face and brushes his teeth. He closes it only partially when he moves to the toilet to pee. When he returns, Lucas has curled up under the blanket, on the opposite side of the bed from the side he normally sleeps on. The thought comes with an astounding realization: Eliott knows what side of the bed Lucas sleeps on. He knows the way Lucas likes to be spooned, the sounds he makes in his sleep, and how soft and sweet he is if woken up gently. And he’s there – waiting for Eliott – in the bed they’re sharing. And Eliott just… can’t believe he ever got so lucky.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, raising his head to look at Eliott where he’s stopped a few paces from the bed.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, taking the last few steps until he can knee up on to the bed. He turns to flick off the bedside lamp before laying down to face Lucas under the covers.</p><p>“Why are you on that side of the bed?”</p><p>“Why not?” Lucas whispers back, snuggling down into the pillow beneath him.</p><p>“It’s not your usual side.”</p><p>“Yeah. You’re closer to the door now,” Lucas offers as explanation.</p><p>Eliott thinks about that for a moment before he has to turn his face to laugh into the pillow. His words are still muffled in the cotton when he looks back at Lucas. “You did it so the ghosts will get me first?”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Lucas confirms, entirely unapologetic. “It’s what you deserve.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, maybe,” Eliott admits. “Not sure ghosts use doors though.”</p><p>“Ssshhh!” Lucas hisses, reaching out to shove Eliott on the shoulder. He rests his arm in between them on the mattress and Eliott’s eyes fall to trace the shapes of his tattoo. He imagines it in shades of deep blue. In the moonlight, it almost appears to be as such.</p><p>“Wouldn’t it be cool if your tattoo could change colours?” He’s not sure what spurs him to say it – didn’t even realize the thought was on his mind until he speaks it – but there’s a giddy, happy quality to the air that makes him feel silly, makes him want to talk about silly things.</p><p>Lucas moves his arm slightly as though he’s looking at it too. “Just when I wanted?”</p><p>“No, like with your moods. Imagine if it changed colours with your mood.”</p><p>“Like a mood ring.”</p><p>“Yes!” Eliott whispers excitedly. “Exactly like a mood ring. Then I’d always know how you’re feeling.”</p><p>Lucas falls silent for a moment. “That sounds freaky.”</p><p>“It changing colours?”</p><p>“No. You always knowing what I’m feeling.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, reaching out to draw fingers across the lines decorating Lucas’s arm. “Getting pretty good at that anyways.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas whispers.</p><p>“Is there meaning behind it – your tattoo?” It’s a question Eliott wanted to ask the moment he saw it – that day in the showers, when the sight had nearly brought him to his knees – when he happily would have done so for entirely different reasons. He couldn’t ask then. It feels right to now.</p><p>“Yes… and no.” Lucas sighs, shuffling closer and moving his arm up so it lays directly in both of their line of sight. “My mom wanted a tattoo.”</p><p>Eliott can’t say he was expecting that at all. “She did?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas’s teeth glint in the moonlight as he smiles. “When she was in the hospital, I asked her – ugh, it’s stupid – but I’d read this thing about bucket lists. I knew she was really sick, and I said when she got out –” His breath catches and he clears his throat before continuing, “I said when she got out, we’d do it all. Just the two of us.”</p><p>“A tattoo was on her list?”</p><p>“Ya. Said she wanted one as a teen, but her parents wouldn’t let her. Then she just… never did it. So, I said we’d do it. The second she was out of the hospital we’d both get tattoos.” Lucas breathes shakily, and Eliott runs a warm hand up and down his arm in replication of the soothing gesture he’s seen Lucas do so often. “So, um, we looked at a bunch of pictures. We were gonna get something small to start – something matching, and she really loved these flowers.” He turns his arm slightly to highlight the flower on his forearm in the dim light. “They’re done like Japanese art, and she said – um – she wanted Japan on her bucket list too. She’d always wanted to go there.” He falls silent, breathing shakily as Eliott continues his soothing gestures against his arm. “But then she never left the hospital, so…” He trails off.</p><p>“You got that the tattoo for her,” Eliott finishes for him.</p><p>“A little bigger than we talked about,” Lucas says with a broken laugh. “I was just… pissed, I guess. Figured if the world was gonna fuck her over like that, then fuck the world, I’d cover my whole arm in her tattoo.”</p><p>“And Japan?” Eliott asks gently. “Will you go there too?”</p><p>Lucas thinks about it for a moment before he answers. “I don’t know. Maybe. One day.” He lifts his arm, hand moving to Eliott’s chest where he presses fingers against the small tattoo that sits there. “What about yours? Are they important?”</p><p>Eliott laughs, a little embarrassed. “No. Nothing like yours. They’re just… things I like. My grandma’s name,” he explains, referring to the tattoo beneath Lucas’s fingers. “She passed a few years ago.”</p><p>“That’s meaningful,” Lucas disagrees. “That’s important too.”</p><p>“Ya, but the rest… I dunno… I just liked them. And once I had one, I just kept wanting more.”</p><p>“Mmm, I know what you mean. The arm, fuck, it was painful. Took so many sessions ‘cause I couldn’t sit long.” Lucas laughs lightly. “Didn’t think about getting another tattoo after that. But lately…” He shrugs, gesture clear even in the shadows. “It’s like an itch I can’t ignore.”</p><p>“The tattoo itch,” Eliott chuckles. “Yeah, I know. What will you get?”</p><p>“Don’t know yet. You?”</p><p>“Don’t know.”</p><p>They both fall silent, breath slowing as sleep creeps up on them.</p><p>“Eliott?”</p><p>Eliott hums, shuffling forward on the pillow until their faces are separated only by a small space in between the pillows.</p><p>“I’m glad I came here with you.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, warmth flooding his chest and radiating out with such intensity, he’s sure Lucas can feel it. “I’m glad you came here too.”</p><p>He can see Lucas smile, gently, before he turns onto his back, then flips to his other side. “You don’t have to –”</p><p>Eliott cuts him off with a snort, “Yeah, yeah,” and settles into his back, wrapping a warm arm around Lucas’s chest. He presses a kiss to the back of his neck. “I know. Now sleep, brat.”</p><p>“Night, average.”</p><p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>See you next weekend!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The only thing I have to say is HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULIE!!!! That's right - it's Julie's (aka ariavds on tumblr) bday. Go harass her. She is the original brat and I had to ask her permission to use her title for Lucas in this fic hehe. She's also probably the only reason I actually powered through and finished this story. So happy birthday to my brattiest and most wonderful friend. I hope you love the chapter &lt;3 &lt;3 &lt;3. </p><p>(But also sorry for any editing errors this chapter - I'm in the middle of travel and currently going on no sleep. I will likely go back and edit some things when I am more coherent tomorrow.)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>* * * * </p><p>Eliott wakes exactly as he fell asleep, with Lucas tucked tightly in his arms. His mind comes awake immediately, more alert than he normally would ever be when waking at what feels like it’s still quite an early hour. But he has a plan. It feels a bit like his unconscious mind had been planning it as he slept, and he wakes with purpose.</p><p>Slipping silently from the bed without rousing Lucas, Eliott quietly retrieves a fresh t-shirt and slips out of his bedroom, putting it on as he makes a quick pit-stop to the bathroom before heading downstairs. When he enters the kitchen, his mom is sitting at the center island, sipping a coffee and reading morning news on her iPad. She looks up in surprise.</p><p>“Sweetheart, you’re up early.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, granting a kiss to her cheek before he heads for the kitchen cupboards. “I’m going to make Lucas breakfast.” His mom promptly chokes on her coffee. He turns to scowl at her.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she laughs, reaching for a Kleenex to dab at her mouth. “It’s just… what are you planning on making, dear?”</p><p>“I was thinking I’d make waffles,” he says, a little uncertain now. “You know, like you used to make? With Nutella?”</p><p>She smiles. “Would you like some help?” She immediately raises placating hands. “I <em>know </em>you can do it yourself. But it’s my recipe after all. Might as well take advantage of the help. I promise not to take over.”</p><p>Eliott considers the offer. It’s true, it is his mom’s recipe, and she <em>does </em>make the best waffles. And while Eliott’s cooking skills <em>have </em>improved over the years – and no, it doesn’t matter what Idriss says on the matter – he’s probably never going to be the best chef. Most importantly, he wants to make Lucas the perfect breakfast.</p><p>“Ok,” he concedes. “But only help.” He points a warning finger at his mom which she immediately slaps away.</p><p>“Don’t you go pointing fingers at me, young man,” she tuts. “Now, get the measuring cups and a mixing bowl. Oh, and a whisk and spatula. And the baking powder and cocoa from the cupboard” Eliott pauses to review all the items she just listed, and she looks at him skeptically. “Do you have all that?”</p><p>Eliott scoffs. “Of course. I managed med school. An itemized list for baking waffles I think I can handle.”</p><p>She smiles. “Yes, well, you’re a surgeon, aren’t you? I expect no less.”</p><p>He eyes her speculatively before coming to the likely explanation for her change of attitude. “Dad talked to you?”</p><p>“Maybe,” she admits with a grin. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t be proud of my son for all his accomplishments, does it? Even if I worry too much.”</p><p>Eliott nods with a smile, deciding he’d rather accept this attempt at an apology from his mom than dredge up the conversation from the night before. “Ok, let’s do this.” He turns, crouching by a lower cupboard to retrieve the measuring cups and mixing bowl. “I want to be done before Lucas gets up. He’s gonna be pissed if he wakes up and realizes I left him alone again.”</p><p>“Left him alone?”</p><p>Eliott turns back to lay the items on the kitchen island, to see his mom staring at him with eyebrows raised. It’s only then he realizes exactly what he just said. Fuck. “<em>Ummm</em>.”</p><p>Abruptly, she laughs. “So, your father was right. Oh, how he’s going to hold it over me.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, shocked.</p><p>She shakes her head with a smile, moving to retrieve eggs and milk from the fridge, as she speaks. “He wasn’t quite convinced you two were only friends. I insisted because surely we’d <em>know </em>if you were in a new relationship,” she gives him a pointed look, “but he said the way you looked at Lucas was anything but platonic.”</p><p>Eliott can feel his cheeks heating. How the fuck is he supposed to explain this situation to his <em>mom</em>. And now she thinks he and Lucas are a committed couple. God, she’s going to say something to Lucas and –</p><p>“Mom, it’s not really like that. Lucas and I aren’t together – or, well, we’re not a couple. Not really.” His face floods with even more heat though it didn’t seem possible. “And he definitely doesn’t want you guys to know that we’re…”</p><p>“You mean to tell me you’re sleeping with that beautiful boy, but you haven’t committed to him?” She’s looking at him as though cataloguing all the ways she went wrong over the years.</p><p>“No,” Eliott insists. “I mean – it’s – <em>fuck</em> – it’s complicated. I don’t really… know what we are. Not yet.”</p><p>“Well, why don’t you ask him then?”</p><p>Eliott expels a frustrated breath. “It’s not that simple. I can’t. It’s–”</p><p>“Complicated?” She finishes for him, looking amused now.</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott says with a pout. “Please, can you just… not say anything? Not make it obvious you know? Please, mom.”</p><p>She raises a hand at his pleading. “It’s fine. I won’t. You kids and your overcomplicating of things. I thought I taught you better skills for communicating your feelings than that.”</p><p>“<em>Mommmmmm</em>,” Eliott whines, collapsing to press his forehead to the counter.</p><p>“Ok, ok,” she laughs. “But for the record, I like him.”</p><p>Eliott pops his head back up. “You do?”</p><p>“Mmhmm.” She moves to one of the upper cupboards to retrieve the sugar and flour. “He’s got a fire in him that would do you well.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Yeah, that’s one way of putting it.” He notices she’s retrieved the baking powder and cocoa he was told to get before promptly getting distracted. Goddammit. She places the items before them on the counter, turning to look at him seriously.</p><p>“But Eliott, it seems like… he’s been through a lot.”</p><p>“He said that?”</p><p>“No.” She purses her lips as she thinks. “He spoke of his mother in past tense I noticed but no, that’s not what I mean. He carries a lot on his shoulders. You can see it in his eyes.” She looks at him seriously, speaking with gravity. “You be careful with him.”</p><p>Eliott straightens his posture, a little offended. “I am. Why are you so worried for him?”</p><p>“Call it mothering instinct.” She tips her head towards the fridge. “Now, go get the good chocolate chips I hide from your father in the cupboard above the fridge. If we’re going to do waffles, let’s do it right.”</p><p>Eliott smiles.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott stares down at the malformed waffles before him.</p><p>“It’s the taste that matters,” his mom says consolingly.</p><p>He can feel his lower lip jut out in a pout. “I don’t understand why they stuck.”</p><p>“Well,” her hand lands on his back, rubbing in comfort, “sometimes even when you think you’ve greased the waffle maker enough, you miss a spot or two. It’s happened to me too, sweetheart.”</p><p>“But… I wanted them to be perfect.” These mutant waffles are nothing like what he had pictured. His practice batch was better.</p><p>“We can make a new batch,” his mom offers, managing not to sound reluctant about the prospect.</p><p>“No,” Eliott sighs. “He’s going to wake up any minute.”</p><p>
  <em>“Who is? Me?” </em>
</p><p>Eliott and his mom turn in sync to see Lucas standing, fully dressed, on the other side of the kitchen island.</p><p>“Fuck!”</p><p>“Eliott!”</p><p>“Sorry, sorry,” he placates his mom, looking back to Lucas. “What are you doing up?”</p><p>“What?” Lucas laughs.</p><p>“What he means is,” his mom elbows him sharply in the side, “Eliott made you breakfast.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “You did?”</p><p>Eliott feels his cheeks flush with colour. “Um… I tried.” He turns around to pick up the tray he and his mom had just prepared, walking it to where Lucas stands and setting it in front of him. “I didn’t get a chance to…” He sighs, looking down on the pitiful offering. “I wanted it to look prettier.” He hadn’t wanted the waffles to get soggy, so they sit undressed, Nutella in a separate dish to the side, a small bowl of fruit to the side of that. A cup of orange juice completes the breakfast offering. The problem being, waffles without toppings means their deformed state is plain to see, nothing distracting from the fact that they got stuck on the waffle maker and had to be pried off.</p><p>“It looks amazing,” Lucas breathes. Eliott glances up at him, wondering if he’s being mocked. But Lucas is staring down at the plate, the look on his face resembling… awe?</p><p>“I’m going to leave you to it then,” Eliott’s mom says, approaching on Lucas’s other side. She pauses at his shoulder, leaning in to whisper in a voice Eliott is absolutely meant to hear. “Don’t worry, they’re edible.”</p><p>Lucas laughs, while Eliott scoffs offended. “Of course they’re edible!”</p><p>“You helped then?” Lucas asks her.</p><p>“Only helped,” his mom assures, winking at Eliott. “He did most of the work himself.” She pats Lucas on the shoulder and departs from the kitchen.</p><p>“What about you?” Lucas asks. “You’re not going to eat?”</p><p>“Oh, well, we did a test round before I made these, and mom and I tried those to make sure they were good. They looked nicer than these actually,” Eliott laments. “I must not have sprayed the waffle maker properly and –”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas cuts him off, hand brushing down his forearm until his fingers come to grip his wrist, “I don’t care. They’re perfect.” He looks down at the waffles smiling. “No one’s ever made me breakfast before.”</p><p>“Really?” Eliott asks, shocked.</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “I mean, my mom did. And like… Yann, I guess. Just never…”</p><p>Eliott smiles, finishing the sentence for him. “Someone you’re sleeping with?”</p><p>Lucas looks up, smiling shyly. “Yeah. Never that.”</p><p>“About time then. Here.” Eliott moves to lift the tray, leading the way to the breakfast table. He sets it down and begins arranging a place setting for Lucas. “I was going to bring it to you in bed, but you can eat here instead.”</p><p>“Breakfast in bed? Damn. Kinda sorry I got up now.” Lucas takes his seat at the table, letting Eliott place the food in front of him as he likes.</p><p>“I didn’t mean for you to wake up alone,” Eliott admits. “I thought I’d be back before you got up.”</p><p>Lucas exhales a slight laugh through his nose. “It’s ok. Ghosts aren’t so scary in the morning.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, walking back into the kitchen to pour them both a cup of coffee before he returns, setting the cups down between them and pushing the bowl of sugar closer to Lucas. He takes a seat at the end of the table, next to Lucas.</p><p>“Go get a fork,” Lucas suggests.</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“I’m not gonna eat alone. That’s weird. We’ll share.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed. Nodding in agreement, he gets back up to retrieve a fork before retaking his place at the table. Lucas is busy smearing the Nutella on the waffles. Eliott holds his breath as he watches Lucas bring the first bite to his mouth.</p><p>“Is it good?” He asks before Lucas’s mouth has even closed around the fork.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes widen as he chews and when he speaks, it’s before he’s even swallowed his mouthful. “Fuck, Eliott,” he moans, still chewing. “This is amazing.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott brightens, watching happily as Lucas cuts himself another bite. Only he doesn’t bring it to his own mouth, offering it to Eliott instead.</p><p>“Try. Seriously,” Lucas prompts, holding the fork in front of Eliott’s mouth.</p><p>Eliott might be swooning. He leans forward to take the bite off Lucas’s fork, sitting back as he chews. And thank god Lucas isn’t lying. The waffles are good despite their less than perfect appearance. Especially delicious with the Nutella as topping.</p><p>“‘Is good,” he mumbles through his mouthful.</p><p>Lucas cuts himself another piece. “I’m gonna make you cook breakfast every morning.” He shoves the bite in his mouth and chews with a happy hum. Eliott heart thumps loudly in his chest. “No going back to cereal after this. Sorry.” Lucas grins, a smear of Nutella across his front teeth. God, Eliott just – “What are we gonna do today?” Lucas asks, interrupting Eliott’s thoughts as he pushes the plate closer, motioning for Eliott to eat as well.”   </p><p>Eliott picks up his fork, chest filled to the brim with happiness. “I was thinking we’d go see Alexia at the greenhouse. It’s really beautiful there. You know how normal greenhouses set up the area for flowers and plants?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, mumbling around a bite of waffle. “Like aisles and stuff?”</p><p>“Yeah!” Eliott nods eagerly. “Well, Alexia and her dad didn’t do that. Their whole greenhouse is set up like a proper conservatory. There are butterflies and birds and flowers everywhere. It’s incredible.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows rise impressed. “That sounds awesome.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott smiles, reaching to snag another bite of waffle for himself. Lucas battles his fork before relenting with a giggle. Eliott brings the bite to his mouth with a satisfied hum. “We can walk there.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow with skepticism. “This isn’t you being a health nut, is it? There are other ways to work off waffles than walking for hours.”</p><p>Eliott freezes, not entirely sure whether Lucas meant for him to interpret that in the very dirty way his brain just decided to. It’s impossible to tell however, Lucas’s attention is on the bowl of fruit where he is picking out the grapes. “Um–” He cuts himself off when his voice comes out high-pitched and broken. Lucas looks up, smirk already in place, and Eliott knows – <em>knows </em>Lucas is fully aware of the affect he’s had. “No,” Eliott tries again, voice thankfully something resembling normal now. “No, it’s not that far, I promise. It’s just on the other side of her parent’s property.”</p><p>“Ok, well, if you’re taking me on a date to pretty gardens, you better go make yourself presentable,” Lucas says, eyes dragging down Eliott’s half-clothed state. “I have standards you know.”</p><p>Eliott’s smile stretches so wide his cheeks ache with it. Date. Lucas said <em>date</em>. “You’re just trying to get rid of me so you can eat the rest of the waffles.”</p><p>Lucas pouts, pulling the plate towards him until he can wrap his arms around it on the table in semblance of a hug. “They’re mine anyways. You made them for me.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, voice gentling of its own volition. “I did.”</p><p>Lucas’s expression softens, cheeks rosy pink. His eyes drop back to the plate. “Go get ready.” He kicks him beneath the table, likely aiming for Eliott’s shin, but thankfully only catching him on the side of the foot.</p><p>Eliott kicks his foot away and pushing to a stand. “Brat,” he complains as he walks away.</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas calls after him. “You love it.”</p><p>And… yeah, Eliott realizes. He’s coming to realize he really, <em>really </em>does.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Never again!” Lucas crows, arms spread wide as they make their way down the drive to the greenhouse.</p><p>“It wasn’t that far,” Eliott laughs. “Besides, it was nice to get out and walk.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, “Easy for you to say. You get all sweaty and look like <em>that</em>.”</p><p>Eliott glances down at himself. “What do I look like?”</p><p>Lucas ignores the question. “And then there’s me.” He pulls his t-shirt away from his body, grimacing down at it. “Fuck. I just look like a sweaty mess.” He looks <em>damn good</em> is what he looks like. His white t-shirt has grown nearly transparent in spots with sweat, and clings to his body in a way that is doing <em>everything </em>for Eliott.</p><p>“You look good.” It’s an understatement.</p><p>Lucas gives him a look like he doesn’t quite believe him, before he turns his attention to the property. “At least this place looks cool.”</p><p>“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Eliott agrees. “Can’t believe Alexia runs it now.”</p><p>“Really? I can,” Lucas chuckles. “Seems like a bit of a badass, that one.”</p><p>“Yeah, no, she is,” Eliott quickly agrees. “Sometimes it’s just weird to think… we’re grown ups.”</p><p>“Fuck, I know,” Lucas says with a slightly laugh. “When’d that happen?”</p><p>They find Alexia outside the main greenhouse. She brightens at the sight of them.</p><p>“Perfect timing!” She straightens, wiping sweaty hands against her pants. “Wasn’t looking forward to hauling these myself.”</p><p>Eliott looks at the ceramic pots surrounding her with some trepidation. “Sorry?”</p><p>“You guys’ll help me haul these inside, won’t you?”</p><p>“Uhhhh…”</p><p>Lucas’s hand lands on his shoulder. “Of course we will.” He gives Eliott a look that screams retribution later. “Already sweaty, right? So, why not?”</p><p>“Knew I liked you more than him,” Alexia says with a grin.</p><p>“That’s not fair,” Eliott complains, though in truth he doesn’t blame her one bit. “I’ve known you longer.”</p><p>“Yeah, but I don’t want to have sex with you.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “You’re not having sex with Lucas either.”</p><p>He hears Lucas groan, “You’re so fucking stupid,” before suddenly Lucas’s hand is firm at the back of his neck and he’s being pulled down, lips connecting with his own before he even registers what is happening. His hands move immediately to Lucas’s body, gripping his waist tightly to bring him closer. Lucas pulls his head back and their lips part with a smacking sound. His hand is tight in Eliott’s hair and he tugs. “Now make yourself useful.” With that he pulls out of Eliott’s grip, moving around Alexia and back towards where the ceramic pots are spread out. “These one’s, Alexia?”</p><p>She doesn’t turn to look at him, staring at Eliott instead, her expression smug and amused. “Yep. Those are them. We’ll stack them on the cart.” Lucas nods, moving a cart into place and beginning to lift some of the larger pots onto the surface.</p><p>Eliott looks at Alexia, schooling his face into what he hopes resembles something like an actual adult in control of his mental faculties.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You’re so fucking smitten,” she laughs, keeping her voice quiet enough that Lucas won’t overhear. “Never thought I’d see the day.”</p><p>Eliott would argue but… she’s not wrong. He moves to step around her instead, pausing at her shoulder to whisper, “Just stop talking about having sex with him, ok?”</p><p>She snorts, turning with him to begin walking towards where Lucas is making a show of struggling with a pot that’s nearly half his size. “Can’t make any promises. That boy is cute as fuck.”</p><p>They both watch for a moment as Lucas curses at the pot before he looks up, hair falling in his face. “Well? You gonna help or stand there like a dickhead?”</p><p>Eliott grins. “He really is,” he says in a low whisper before stepping forward to join Lucas.</p><p>Moving the pots ends up being quite the arduous task. Eliott is dripping with sweat by the time they’re done and Lucas isn’t much better. The humidity inside the greenhouse doesn’t help matters.</p><p>Lucas cringes as he stands to stretch his back after placing the last pot in its place. “Ugh.” He scrapes back sweaty hair from his forehead, looking irritated when a number of strands flop back down.</p><p>“Here.” Alexia pulls a hairband over her wrist, tossing it to him.</p><p>Lucas stares at it for a moment before his face brightens in a smile. “Good idea. But you mind if I…?” He pulls his shirt slightly from his body, frowning down at its state.</p><p>“I so totally don’t mind,” Alexia grins in reply.</p><p>It feels a little like time has suspended as Eliott watches Lucas pull his shirt off. He knows time is continuing – Lucas is in motion – the world has not in fact frozen and narrowed down to Lucas’s existence. But try telling Eliott’s brain that.</p><p>“Fuck me,” Alexia breathes, voicing Eliott’s thoughts as Lucas wipes down his body with his shirt before tucking it partially into his pocket so it hangs from his side.</p><p>And then… it gets worse. So much worse. Lucas brings both hands to his hair, arching his lower back as he scrapes the top of his hair back, binding it in the hair tie. When he looks back to them, shirtless, muscles and tattoo on display, hair half up in a tiny ponytail, looking like every sort of fantasy Eliott has ever harboured, he has the audacity to look surprised by the attention.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, hand moving back to the ponytail sitting atop his head. “Does it look stupid?”</p><p>Eliott attempts to speak and makes a strangled sound instead. He’s saved by Alexia laughing over the sound of his death-by-half-naked-sweaty-Lucas.</p><p>“You literally look like you should be starring in porn,” she snorts. “Believe me, it’s a good look. Now come on. All that hard work deserves a cold beer. We’ll go to the back sun room.” She moves past him to lead the way.  </p><p>Lucas doesn’t immediately follow, head tilted as he looks at Eliott with a slight smile. “You doing ok there?”</p><p>Eliott advances on him. He doesn’t put his hands on Lucas, closed fists tight at his sides, nails digging into the palms of his hands as he fights the desperate desire to touch – but he doesn’t, stopping a beat from Lucas’s face. Eliott tips his head down slightly, the tiniest suggestion of a desired kiss. Lucas’s mouth parts immediately, face tilting up to meet Eliott’s halfway. Eliott stills, letting the tension sing between them for a moment before he speaks.</p><p>“Porn’s too vanilla a description for you.”</p><p>Just as Lucas rises on his toes with clear intent to steal himself a kiss, Eliott, calling on strength he didn’t know he possessed, dodges to the side, sauntering away with one backwards glance at Lucas who stares after him open-mouthed.</p><p>“Come on then,” Eliott suggests with a cheeky grin. “Wouldn’t want you to get lost in here. I know the way.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth snaps shut, and he inhales deeply as though he too is calling on control far too tenuous to closely grasp – though likely for very different reasons. Eliott is willing to bet there are some murderous thoughts running through Lucas’s mind at present. But he does follow, just as Eliott knew he would.</p><p>There are a number of options for ‘back sun room’ but Eliott assumes Alexia has chosen the one set up with a bench table and chairs. Indeed, when they enter the room, she’s sitting in one of the chairs with her legs propped up on another. There’s a cooler she’s pulled up next to the table, and she’s already helped herself to a beer.</p><p>“What took you so long?” She asks, cheeky grin in place.</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “We were two seconds behind you. Settle down.” He takes the seat next to her, peering down into the cooler before selecting a carbonated drink.</p><p>“Is there a bathroom?” Lucas asks, before sitting down.</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Alexia confirms. “Just outside, hitch a right, you’ll see a wooden building. They’re in there.”</p><p>Lucas nods and quickly departs.</p><p>Alexia rounds on Eliott the second he’s gone.</p><p>“So?”</p><p>“So?” Eliott mimics, sipping from his drink. For that he receives a smack to the side of his head. “Ow!”</p><p>“You gonna tell me what the deal is with you two or what? And make it quick, dudes pee fast.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow. “You want me to sum it all up in thirty seconds or less?”</p><p>Alexia doesn’t pause. “Preferably. Now, go.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “I don’t know… he’s… he’s really great.”</p><p>“Yeah, I know that,” she scoffs. “Question is, what are you gonna do about it?”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Eliott asks, confused. “We’re already – er – you know we’re –”</p><p>“Yes,” she sighs, impatient. “I know you’re gettin’ it from him on the regular. But are you gonna lock it down or what? Guarantee that boy is wanted by more dudes than you.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott responds, feeling as though a darkening cloud has just rolled in over his mood, “he is.”</p><p>Alexia softens instantly, reaching forward to lay a soothing hand on Eliott’s forearm. “Hey, he’s obviously mad into you. You’re not stressing it are you?”</p><p>Eliott laughs a little. “When am I <em>not </em>stressing it, Lex?”</p><p>“Ok, fair,” she returns with laughter of her own. “But don’t stress <em>this</em>, yeah? I’ve literally only seen you together twice and I’m saying, you have nothing to worry about.”</p><p>“It’s different here,” Eliott attempts to explain. “<em>We’re </em>different. At the hospital – everything is just a lot more… complicated.” Fuck. There’s that word again. No kidding his mom teased him.</p><p>“You know what they say, the best stuff isn’t supposed to come easy.”</p><p>“They?” Eliott looks to her smiling. “Who’s they?”</p><p>“Like… <em>they. </em>Love philosophers and all that.”</p><p>“<em>Love philosophers</em>,” Eliott laughs. “And who might those philosophers be?”</p><p>“I’d love to answer that, you smartass, but he’s coming back so shut up.”</p><p>Eliott turns to see Lucas approaching. Alexia stands. “I’m gonna go grab us some snacks from the office.” She winks. “Be back in a few.” She offers Lucas a high-five as she passes, which seems to perplex him, but he returns it all the same.</p><p>Lucas pauses beside his chair. “Here.” He moves a hand from behind his back to reveal a… flower. A flower? A small, pretty flower. He’s holding it out to Eliott.</p><p>“For me?” Eliott is so surprised, he barely remembers to reach out and take it.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas takes the seat next to him, immediately stealing Eliott’s drink to take a sip. “Just… thought you’d like it.” He’s very obviously avoiding Eliott’s eyes and projecting indifference.</p><p>Eliott stares down at the flower in his hand. It looks like a daisy, but smaller. Not the most extraordinary of flowers considering their surroundings, but it’s always been one of his favourites. And Lucas got it for him. Lucas saw it and thought of him. Eliott has never loved a flower more. “I do. I love it.”</p><p>Lucas turns his head to him, looking down at the flower in Eliott’s hands before meeting his eyes. “It’s like your tattoo,” he says softly.</p><p>Eliott stretches his arm down in front of them until they can both see the tattoo Lucas means on the back of it. “Yeah.” He smiles. “It is.”</p><p>“I like that one.” Lucas reaches fingers out to trace the lines of Eliott’s tattoo. “It’s my favourite.”</p><p>Eliott needs to kiss him. He sets the daisy down on the table and reaches for Lucas. Cupping his face in both hands, Eliott pulls him immediately into a soft kiss. Lucas doesn’t resist, leaning forward into Eliott’s hands and returning the kiss with a gentle eagerness. Eliott pulls back when Lucas attempts to deepen it, brushing back the stubborn hair on Lucas’s forehead, escaped from the hairband holding the rest of the wayward strands.  </p><p>“Thank you,” Eliott whispers. Lucas’s eyebrows pull together in question and Eliott adds, “For my flower.”</p><p>One of Lucas’s shoulders pulls up in a semi-shrug. “It’s just a flower.”</p><p>“No.” Eliott shakes his head, brushing a thumb down Lucas’s cheek in a gentle caress. “It’s a flower from you.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, but he looks immeasurably pleased. “That was so lame.”</p><p>Eliott grins. “Yeah, but you like it. You like me.”</p><p>“Maybe,” Lucas admits, one of his hands moving back to Eliott’s bicep, fingertips pressing into where Eliott knows his tattoo sits. “Only a little.”</p><p>“I like you a little too.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Despite Lucas’s colourful and <em>just a little</em> dramatic complaints, Eliott does manage to convince him that they’re more than capable of surviving the return journey to the house. Having spent the majority of the afternoon with Alexia, the heat of the day is less oppressive by the time they walk back, and the return walk is quite lovely. They chat a little but mostly enjoy a comfortable silence. Lucas spends the walk taking pictures of their surroundings, making small sounds of happiness as he looks down at the result on his phone, likely sending select pictures to his friends. Eliott smiles as he watches him, reaching to retrieve his own phone and send a picture to Sofiane and Idriss.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, slipping his phone back into his pocket despite the fact that it continues to buzz with messages. Idriss isn’t entirely wrong is the thing. Eliott knows it’s not their last night together. It <em>can’t </em>be their last night together. Eliott can’t even contemplate the thought without feeling mildly queasy. But it still feels like a bit of an ending. It’s only been a couple days spent away with Lucas but it feels longer – like they’ve settled into a routine together. Eliott likes it – loves it. He just… doesn’t want it to end.</p><p>“Should we have the wine tonight?” Lucas asks, looking over at Eliott as they walk down the driveway to home.</p><p>Eliott smiles, a little wistful with it. “Last night to.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott doesn’t think he’s imagining the melancholy in Lucas’s tone. Lucas adds, “Feels like we’ve been gone much longer doesn’t it? But at the same time, it went so fast.”</p><p>Eliott nods, knowing exactly how Lucas feels. There’s a thought – a feeling – brewing beneath Eliott’s skin and the impulse to voice it in this quiet, peaceful moment they’re having together is too strong to ignore.</p><p>“Lucas?”</p><p>Lucas hums in answer. He’s staring straight ahead, and the late afternoon light bounces off his skin, making him look like he’s glowing. There’s a slight curl to his lips that hasn’t left them all afternoon. He’s happy.</p><p>“I don’t want things to go back to how they were – before we came here,” Eliott speaks, heart immediately rabbiting in his chest when Lucas turns to look at him, eyes widened with surprise. Eliott licks his lips nervously. “I mean, I know we were already…” He trails off, idiotically gesturing with a hand between them as though that was a better choice than simply saying ‘having sex’. “But… the way it was,” he continues, sighing in irritation at the words that just won’t come, “with us <em>hating </em>one another,” he emphasizes the word to make it clear just how ridiculous he finds the idea, “I don’t want to pretend anymore.” Lucas opens his mouth to reply, mouth already pulling up in a cheeky smile, and Eliott cuts him off, pointing a warning finger, “If you say you weren’t pretending, I’m kicking <em>you </em>in the shin.”</p><p>Lucas chuckles, looking back down the driveway as he nods. “Yeah, um,” he swallows, and Eliott’s is relieved to see he’s visibly nervous as well, “I get that. Ok.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him in surprise but Lucas still isn’t looking back. “Ok?”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes moving to Eliott before they dart away again. His cheeks are pink. “That’s what I said. We won’t pretend. Every time I yell at you in the hospital, you’ll know I really mean it.”</p><p>Eliott expels a breath of humour. “And when you don’t feel like yelling at me? When you feel like doing something else?”</p><p>Lucas looks at him, holding his gaze this time, eyes filled with mischief. “Then we make use of the on-call rooms. Can’t let Emma and Alex have all the fun.”</p><p>Eliott’s face splits in a grin. “Yeah. But…” His face bunches slightly. “Maybe not so much at work. I don’t know how they ever find time to hook up during work hours.”</p><p>“Fuck, I know, right?” Lucas says with a laugh. “I think those horny assholes would pause a surgery to get off.”</p><p>“Yeah. They’re really crazy about one another.”</p><p>Lucas’s smile softens slightly at he looks at Eliott. “Doesn’t mean they have to hook-up in on-call rooms.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow. “Seem to recall you felt the need.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, looking away with a huff as they approach the house. “That’s because you were being annoying.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, louder than the moment calls for but he can’t quite help himself. “Me being annoying translated to you needing to give me a blowjob?”</p><p>Lucas looks at him in challenge. “Shut you up, didn’t it?” His smile tilts playfully. “Only for like thirty seconds but it worked.”</p><p>Eliott groans. “I lasted longer than thirty seconds. Are you ever gonna let me live that down?”</p><p>Lucas turns to face Eliott just as they reach the front door. “I don’t think I will.” He looks so completely pleased with himself. “Gonna bring it up when we’re fifty.” Lucas seems to realize what he’s just implied at the exact same moment Eliott does. He freezes, eyes widening with panic. “Not that–” Lucas cuts himself off as Eliott steps into his space, hand moving to cup his jaw, thumb brushing gently against his cheekbone.</p><p>“It was a really good blowjob,” he hums. “As long as the mocking stays between us, I’m ok with you bringing it up when I’m fifty.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes are locked on Eliott’s and so very blue. “I don’t know. Thought I’d make it a bullet point in the birthday slideshow.” His smile spreads when Eliott laughs. “Title it, Age: Fifty, Stamina: Fourteen.”</p><p>Eliott moves his other hand to Lucas’s hair, yanking on the strands. “Lemon drop.” Lucas tips his head for a kiss, and Eliott won’t deny him. He leans down, pressing their lips together. Lucas stretches his arms to loop around the back of Eliott’s neck as he deepens the kiss, when abruptly, there’s a sound of a throat being cleared just beside them. Lucas breaks the kiss and makes to move back from Eliott, but Eliott moves an arm around his back, keeping him close as he turns to see his dad standing with arms crossed, smirk firmly in place.</p><p>“Dad, we –”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” his dad interrupts, looking far too amused for Eliott’s liking. “If you’ll excuse me boys, there’s a woman who owes me some money.” With that he moves around them, letting himself into the house.</p><p>“Wha–” Lucas’s hands are on Eliott’s shirt, tugging at the material. “What does he mean?”</p><p>Eliott sighs, looking back to Lucas somewhat bashfully. “He might have made a bet with my mom that we were more than friends.”</p><p>Lucas smacks him across the chest, pushing back and away, though he looks more amused than annoyed. "They know?"</p><p>"Yes,” Eliott admits. “I didn’t say anything, I promise. But…” He shrugs. “Is that ok?”</p><p>Lucas exhales heavily, looking through the still open front door of the house. “Said we weren’t gonna pretend, right?”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth twitches up into a smile as Lucas turns back to look at him. “Thought that was about hating on one another at work.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop to Eliott’s chest where his fingers fiddle with the material there. “Might as well get some more practice in.”</p><p>Eliott’s smile stretches. “A whole evening of admitting you like me. You sure you can handle that?”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look at all impressed with Eliott’s teasing. “Done ok so far, haven’t I?”</p><p>Eliott moves a hand to brush the stray hair on Lucas’s forehead back. “Yeah.” He reaches town to flick the tip of Lucas’s nose. “Could do without the cracks about my stamina though.”</p><p>Lucas scrunches his nose in response. “No, can do. Make it too easy on me.” He pushes Eliott back, turning to saunter into the house. “Now, come on. I wanna cuddle with the pups before dinner.”</p><p>“And the kitties,” Eliott adds, following Lucas into the house.</p><p>Lucas glances back at him. “The cats like you more.”</p><p>“Yeah, and the dogs like you more.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Balances out, doesn’t it? Perfect match.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott can feel Lucas’s eyes on him where they sit in separate reading chairs, the cats and dogs spread on or around them. Eliott looks up at him, but he doesn’t quite know what to make of the look on Lucas’s face.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“Um.” Lucas looks back down at his phone, which Eliott hadn’t noticed was in his hand. “It’s Yann.”</p><p>Eliott frowns, wondering if that’s concern on Lucas’s face. “Is he ok?”</p><p>“Oh, uh, yeah. He’s fine.” There’s such obvious trepidation in Lucas’s tone, it makes Eliott laugh, though half with nerves.</p><p>“Lucas, tell me what’s going on.”</p><p>Lucas sighs, shifting Izzy on his lap in order to reach forward to hand Eliott his phone. “Just read it.”</p><p>Eliott takes the phone in surprise, more than a little curious now. He looks down, chuckling lightly at the start of the messages before his face transforms with incredulity as he reads on.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott frowns. “Well that’s a rude. Anna and I didn’t want to… see one another like that anymore. It has nothing to do with… inadequacy or something.”</p><p>Lucas huffs a laugh. “Oh my god, we can talk about your fragile ego later. Did you catch the part where he’s asking for her number?”</p><p>“Un hunh,” Eliott nods, unconcerned. “I can ask her.”</p><p>Lucas eyes him, gaze considering. “You wouldn’t mind?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Why would I mind?”</p><p>“Eliott.” Lucas looks annoyed now. “Don’t play dumb.”</p><p>Eliott laughs incredulous. “I’m not. Why would I care? Do <em>you</em> care?”</p><p>“You were the one –” He drops his voice as though he’s forgotten that Eliott’s parents have gone to the store for groceries and are not, in fact, listening in from the other room. “You were the one sleeping with her.”</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott agrees. “We had sex.” Lucas’s frown deepens and Eliott gently removes Boots from his lap to reach across the space and rest a hand on Lucas’s knee. “Just sex. Until we didn’t want to anymore and we stopped. And it was fine.”</p><p>“Why did you?”</p><p>“Have sex?” Eliott asks, a little horrified by the prospect of having to voice his reasons for wanting to sleep with Anna <em>to Lucas. </em></p><p>Lucas sighs frustrated. “<em>Stop </em>having sex. Why did you stop? Was it bad?”</p><p>Eliott laughs, cutting himself off immediately at the verifiable storm cloud building in Lucas’s eyes. “Sorry, sorry. It’s just – uh – no, it wasn’t bad.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop to pick at a piece of invisible lint on his pants. “Then why?”</p><p>“Because of you, Lucas,” Eliott says with a gust of breath and raw honesty. Lucas’s eyes fly back up to him, mouth parting. “Is that really a surprise? I didn’t want to sleep with her. I wanted to be with you. And she knew it too.”</p><p>“What do you mean she knew it too?” He asks quietly, attention zeroed in on Eliott’s face.</p><p>“It was kind of obvious, Lucas.” There’s something he’s wanted to ask for a while now, and no moment is likely to be more appropriate than the present. “What about you with –” <em>Fucking Jeremy</em>. “Jeremy. Are you still sleeping with him?”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, annoyance instant and obvious. “You know I’m not.”</p><p>“Why would I know that?” While it’s true, Eliott <em>had </em>been fairly certain Lucas was not, he can’t help but want the answer anyways.</p><p>“Because I’m –” Lucas inhales as though gather courage. “Because I’m sleeping with you. And I didn’t want to – I didn’t want to sleep with him.”</p><p>“But you did. Have sex with him.” It’s not particularly a question, and Eliott doesn’t even really want the answer, but he feels compelled to know the details, nonetheless.</p><p>“Once.” His lips press together in a stubborn tilt.</p><p>“And? Was <em>it </em>bad?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop and he turns his head slightly as though to focus on giving attention to Izzy beside him. And Eliott had suspicions about this of course – from what Lucas’s friends had said, and what Jeremy himself had implied – but Lucas’s silence confirms it, and Eliott doesn’t bother to keep the delight out of his voice.</p><p>“It was. I knew it!”</p><p>Lucas shoves Eliott’s hand off his knee. “Stop being so smug.” He concentrates on petting Izzy.</p><p>But this is just <em>too good</em>, and Eliott can’t help it if he wants to gloat a bit. “What – could he not get it up? Or wait – he couldn’t <em>keep it up? </em>Was he tiny? Crooked? That’s more common than you think.”</p><p>Lucas groans in annoyance. “No, you asshole. His cock was big and thick. Is that what you want to hear?” Eliott grimaces. It really wasn’t. “He just couldn’t – it wasn’t what I –” And <em>this </em>Eliott can work with.</p><p>He moves to perch himself next to Lucas on the armrest and Lucas’s words cut off immediately. “What you needed?” Eliott suggests in a low rumble. “He couldn’t give you what you needed?” A dark thought flits through Eliott’s head. This is why Lucas wants him. Because Eliott gives him what he needs. Because the sex is so good between them. Because Lucas couldn’t get it from Jeremy. Eliott dismisses it as quickly as it came. It’s just his brain. It does this sometimes. Focuses only on the negative. They’re more than that. He knows they’re more than that.</p><p>Lucas looks up at him from beneath lashes, eyes filled with daring. “With you it’s…”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, suddenly short on breath. He tips himself closer to Lucas’s face.</p><p>“It’s never felt this good before.”</p><p>Eliott licks his lips. “For me either.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs immediately, eyes dropping. “Yeah, right.”</p><p>“It hasn’t,” Eliott says adamantly, tipping Lucas’s chin back up with a finger beneath it. He stares into his eyes and hopes Lucas can read the truth in his own. “You have no fucking idea how good it is with you.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth quirks in a smile. “I have some idea.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott exhales, “I’ve never wanted someone the way I want you. I can’t control it. From the first time I saw you it’s like…”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, swallowing heavily.</p><p>“Like you’re mine.”</p><p>“<em>Eliott</em>.” There’s a desperate need in Lucas’s voice now.</p><p>Eliott leans down, moving a hand to Lucas’s inner thigh, when Izzy suddenly barks. They both jump at the sound, turning to see she’s stood up beside Lucas, front paws on his thigh. She snorts when she has their attention, eyes clearly focused on Eliott’s hand.</p><p>“Izzy,” Eliott reprimands gently, “you have to share. Lucas isn’t yours and yours alone.” She barks again as though in direct rejection of this statement. It makes Lucas laugh as he moves to pet her gently on the head.</p><p>“Don’t worry,” he whispers to her, “I still like you best.”</p><p>“Well that’s not fair,” Eliott complains with faux offense. “How am I supposed to compete with –” He’s interrupted by the sound of the door opening, and even more suddenly, he’s falling – no, not falling – he’s <em>pushed</em> by Lucas, right off the chair. Having been positioned off balance on the arm of the reading chair with his body turned towards Lucas, he’s unable to get his legs under him as he falls, instead crashing backwards and taking a side table with him, lamp and all. It makes a resounding crash which causes the animals to scatter and Izzy to begin barking in alarm. Lucas’s face comes into view over the side of the chair. He looks just as shocked by the turn of events as anyone else, despite being <em>the cause of them</em>. Eliott’s parents rush into the room.</p><p>“Oh, my goodness!” His mom exclaims, dropping the shopping bags as she takes in the scene. “What on earth happened?” His dad approaches from behind at a more leisurely pace.</p><p>Lucas hops up from the chair. “Um.” He quickly turns, offering Eliott a hand up, which Eliott takes with a pointed glare. Amazingly he’s managed not to injure himself. A rarity when it comes to being around Lucas it would seem. <em>Sorry</em>, Lucas mouths with an abashed smile. “I’m really sorry,” Lucas repeats, this time out loud and directed at Eliott’s parents. “I just…”</p><p>“He freaked out at the thought that you two would catch us within a foot of one another and threw me into the side table instead,” Eliott finishes for him. Lucas hits him – albeit gently – in the stomach for it.</p><p>“Do you have to be so honest?” Lucas hisses.</p><p>Eliott’s parents laugh. “In that case,” his mom says, “I’m sure you can handle cleaning up the mess, Eliott. Lucas, darling, I got the items you requested.” She stoops to retrieve her grocery bags. “Come make sure you have everything you need.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth drops open. “But he – I didn’t – why does he get to–”</p><p>“Eliott,” she chastises, “don’t be rude. Lucas is our guest.” She looks to the boy in question. “Come along then, darling. They can handle this.” Lucas throws Eliott one last look, the apology in his eyes overshadowed by his obvious pleasure at being favoured by Eliott’s mom. It’s incredibly unfair. How is Eliott supposed to feel wronged by the situation when Lucas looks that happy. Eliott sighs, watching Lucas join his mom, taking the bags from her hands as they make their way towards the kitchen. Eliott turns a pitiful look on his dad instead, who only chuckles in response.</p><p>“I’ll help, but don’t even try that look on me, son. You brought this on yourself.”</p><p>Eliott makes an unintelligible noise of offense, gesturing at the toppled table and items scattered around it. “How did I do that?”</p><p>His dad turns a calculating look on him. “Did you honestly think your mom wouldn’t end up smitten with that boy?” Eliott considers that for a moment and well… ok… so maybe his dad has a point. In absence of an adequate response, Eliott pouts. “That’s what I thought,” his dad laughs. He gestures to the mess before them. “Now let’s get this cleaned up and go see what snacks we can pilfer off them.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott agrees. “But Dad?” He asks as his dad moves to pick up the fallen lamp. His dad glances back over his shoulder. “You like him too?”</p><p>His dad smiles, warm and genuine. “Yes, son. I like him too.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott and his dad put their plan of filching snacks into action and are summarily kicked out of the kitchen. Lucas insists that Eliott made breakfast, so he’s making dinner. And while Eliott is wary about the prospect of being fed a dinner of chocolate and fries, he’s a little too enamoured by the idea of Lucas making him dinner to kick up much of a fuss.</p><p>He retreats to the library at the front of the house where he knows he’ll find the cats, warm and soft and happy for cuddles. It’s as he’s perusing the bookshelves that he remembers his goal of finding their copy of The Little Prince for Lucas. It takes longer to locate than he would have thought. But the order of books in the library has no particular rhyme or reason, making the retrieval of one particular book, a little like finding a needle in a haystack. It’s just as he’s considering recruiting his dad to help that Eliott finds a cluster of children books and at the center, The Little Prince. It’s a beautiful edition of the book, worn around the edges from the many times Eliott had pored over it as a child, but still in excellent shape. It’s about time it was given new life, Eliott thinks.</p><p>His mom pops her head into the room as he’s settled into the old armchair, flipping through the pages of the children’s book. Eliott perks up at the sight of her.</p><p>“Dinner ready?”</p><p>She raises an eyebrow. “Oh, you think that’s how it is? Is that how I raised you?”</p><p>“What? No! I didn’t mean it like that. It’s only that you wouldn’t let us in the kitchen and –” He cuts off at the smirk on her face. “Not funny.”</p><p>She laughs softly. “Well,” she moves to lean against the side of his chair, looking down at the book he’s reading, “Lucas thinks I’m funny.”</p><p>“That’s just ‘cause he’s sucking up.”  She smacks him none-too-lightly on the back of the head. Eliott quietly snickers to himself, turning the page.</p><p>“Patrick and Marie want to have a visit tonight. Your father might have let it slip you were here.”</p><p>Eliott groans, snapping the book shut as he turns to his mom. “No. Please, no. I’ll do anything. Tell me you didn’t invite them over tonight.” Patrick and Marie are neighbours on the opposite side of the property from Alexia’s family. Eliott had always found them a little annoying, perhaps a little overbearing – always insisting at every dinner party that he update them thoroughly on his life – even when ten years old and having seen them only a few days prior. But it wasn’t until he’d broken into their yard and stolen their chocolate lab while manic that his parents had explained Eliott’s bipolar diagnosis to them, and they’d decided they had a whole different sort of busy-body investment in his life. He’d do a lot of things to get out of having to socialize with them.</p><p>“No, I didn’t invite them over.” Her hand moves to brush through his hair. “They invited us over.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott gestures vaguely towards the door. “Lucas is making dinner.”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” his mom agrees. There’s something teasing about her smile now. “I was thinking I’d accept, but perhaps you’re not feeling terribly well tonight.”</p><p>Eliott wrinkles his forehead in confusion. “I’m… what?”</p><p>“Your father and I will go. We’ll take the dogs. You and Lucas can have the house to yourself.”</p><p>Eliott becomes aware of the fact that his mouth has dropped open. He snaps it shuts and makes an attempt not to sound too excited by this prospect. “Really? But it’s our last night here.”</p><p>His mom laughs, seeing right through him of course. “True. But we can spend more time together next time you bring him to visit. Enjoy your last night without your parents butting in on your time together.” She doesn’t wait for a response, petting his hair affectionately. As she exits the room she adds, “But you better not let that boy wash a dish. He who cooks –”</p><p>“Never cleans. I know, I know,” Eliott complains. “Who do you think raised me?”</p><p>She looks back at him with a wink. “Must have been someone truly wonderful for you to turn out this great.” Eliott snorts, watching with a smile as she disappears from view.</p><p>He stops quickly into his bedroom to tuck the book into his bag before he begins making his way downstairs and towards the kitchen. He could give Lucas the book right now he supposes, but something stops him. It doesn’t quite feel like the right time yet.</p><p>Colourful language in the familiar tone of one bratty boy drifts from the kitchen as Eliott approaches.</p><p>“Motherfucker – I swear to – I will kill you and your family – goddamn – fucking piece of sh – arghhhh!” Lucas comes into view, battling with… the wine bottle?</p><p>“What’d that wine ever do to you?” Eliott asks with a laugh, watching as Lucas appears to be stabbing at the cork with a knife. Clearly, he can’t be left unsupervised in a kitchen anymore than Eliott can.</p><p>Lucas glances up, blowing a stray hair out of his eye, and sighing in defeat. “The cork broke.”</p><p>Eliott snorts, walking towards him and gesturing for Lucas to hand over the bottle. He shakes his head when Lucas offers the knife. “You’re only going to end up knocking little cork bits into the wine by doing that. Then we’ll have to strain it.” He takes the wine bottle from Lucas, peering into the top to survey the damage.</p><p>“Well, excuse me, Sir Richy Rich. I didn’t grow up opening bottles of expensive-ass wine, ok?”</p><p>“Richy Rich?” Eliott chuckles, reaching for the corkscrew on the counter.</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas huffs, cheeks pink. “Just… fix it, would you?”</p><p>Eliott nods with faux seriousness. “Yes, sir.” It takes a bit of doing. Lucas’s attempts to dig the half of the remaining cork using a knife has lodged it even deeper in the neck of the bottle. But with a very gentle hand, the remaining half of the cork is freed from the bottle with a satisfying pop. Eliott looks up, searching out Lucas with a proud smile, to find him standing at the doorway across the kitchen leading into the formal dining room Eliott and his parents rarely use.</p><p>“You got it?” Lucas asks, looking pleased.</p><p>“Yeah. We’re eating in there?” Eliott gestures towards the room in question.</p><p>Lucas nods, biting his lip as Eliott approaches. “Your parents said it was ok.”</p><p>“Of course it’s ok,” Eliott agrees. “We just never do. Pretty fancy.” He grins goofily to assure Lucas he’s only teasing.</p><p>Lucas shrugs, eyes dropping and a hand moving to his tattooed arm to run up and down it. “I wanted to say thank you… for, like, bringing me here with you. For… everything.”</p><p>Eliott stops in front of Lucas, stretching his arms to rest on top of Lucas’s shoulders. He smiles gently when Lucas looks up. “You’re very welcome. Now…” He drops eyes down to the t-shirt he wears. “Should I put on a tie, or…”</p><p>Lucas knocks his arms off, shoving him away as Eliott laughs. “Don’t be an asshole. Dinner’s ready.” He leads the way into the dining room.</p><p>“<em>Don’t be an asshole. Dinner’s ready. </em>Ah, now it really feels like home.” Eliott smiles with pleasure when Lucas laughs, turning back to Eliott as he pulls out a chair at the table.</p><p>“Well?”</p><p>Eliott’s cheeks heat immediately. He doesn’t think he’s <em>ever </em>had someone pull out a chair for him before. It’s new and… sort of thrilling. He moves to sit, letting Lucas tuck the chair in for him as he takes in the spread on the table. There’s a simple pasta dish, a small salad (Eliott is willing to bet it’s small because Lucas has no intention of touching it), and…</p><p>“No meat?” Eliott notes, looking to Lucas, who has taken the seat at the end of the table next to him.</p><p>Lucas scoffs. “I’m not cooking something you can’t eat.”</p><p>Oh god. There’s that feeling again. Eliott’s definitely swooning. “But what about you?”</p><p>“I made things I like too,” Lucas points out. He reaches for a plate with an excited grin, moving it between them both to showcase… “Homemade fries. I baked them, so they’re healthy this way.” His smile is all boyish delight, so damn pleased with himself for making fries he can call <em>healthy, </em>Eliott just…</p><p>He reaches for the back of Lucas’s neck, pulling him into a hard kiss. When he pulls back, Lucas’s hands are gripping Eliott’s neck and shoulder, his eyes dazed.</p><p>“Thank you,” Eliott breathes. “This is…” He laughs a little, “so much better than deformed waffles.”</p><p>Lucas laughs softly, sitting up to reach for the pasta dish and spoon some onto Eliott’s plate. “It’s not a competition.”</p><p>Eliott could choke on the irony in that statement. “Since when?” He asks instead, offering Lucas a sardonic grin.</p><p>Lucas’s mouth twitches into a smile as he goes about serving himself. “Well if it is, I’m winning.”</p><p>“There he is,” Eliott laughs. “Thank god. Was beginning to miss that ego.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, warm, teasing, and… so very happy.</p><p>“Shut up and eat.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>They’re both tipsy by the time they scale the stairs to the second floor of the house and Eliott’s bedroom, though Eliott is fairly sure it has less to do with the wine they drank, than it does an overall giddiness that has been present throughout the evening.</p><p>Lucas groans as they reach the top of the stairs. “My legs are so fucking tired. I’m gonna be sore and it’s all your fault.”</p><p>Eliott snorts, leading the way to his bedroom. “How is that my fault?”</p><p>Lucas balks, shoving his back just as they reach the door. “<em>You’re </em>the one who made me walk all the way to Alexia’s and back!”</p><p>“Right. Taking us for a leisurely walk to the property next door. Unusually cruel of me.” Eliott steps back, holding the door open for Lucas before shutting it behind them. He turns, eyes traveling down Lucas’s back to his very shapely ass. “How you have the body you do, I’ll never understand.”</p><p>Lucas turns to him, already rolling his eyes. “I work out, asshole. That just normally doesn’t include walking for hours on gravel roads with the sun beating down on me.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Eliott laughs, moving towards him until he can rest his arms on top of Lucas’s shoulders. “You’re so dramatic. You make it sound like you survived a walk across the Sahara dessert.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow, hands moving up to pull at the material on Eliott’s chest. “Don’t go getting any ideas for our next vacation. I like heat but only if there’s water nearby.” <em>Next vacation</em>. Eliott’s heart pounds in his chest. He wouldn’t be surprised if it was audible. Lucas pushes away, walking towards the bathroom. “I’m gonna wash up.”</p><p>“You want me to come with you?”</p><p>Lucas turns back to him, confused. “Why would I want that?”</p><p>Eliott can barely contain his smile. “Ghosts in there too, you know. Wouldn’t want them to get you.”</p><p>Lucas looks thoroughly unimpressed. “You just wanna see me get naked.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, unapologetic. “Look at you. Can you blame me?” It has the intended effect as Lucas rolls his eyes, a blush staining his cheeks before he turns to continue to the bathroom. “Yell if you need me,” Eliott calls after him, laughing as Lucas’s middle finger pops up above his shoulder before he disappears behind the door of the bathroom.</p><p>When he reappears some time later, he’s in only his briefs. He tosses his discarded clothing to the ground at the end of the bed. Eliott’s eyes drag down his body.</p><p>“Bathroom’s yours,” Lucas speaks, voice rough with the same desire Eliott can feel sparking in his own veins. “Eliott,” he tries again when Eliott doesn’t move, “go. Then we can –”</p><p>Eliott’s gaze jerks up to Lucas’s face. “Then we can…?” God, he really hopes Lucas has rethought his whole ‘we’re not having sex’ thing. It certainly didn’t seem like a steadfast rule last night.</p><p>Lucas knocks the back of his hand into Eliott’s foot on the bed. “Go.” Eliott doesn’t need to be told twice. If all that’s standing between him and sex with Lucas is washing up before bed, he’s about to break records on how quickly he can do the latter. He jogs to the bathroom, the sound of Lucas’s laughter muffled when Eliott shuts the door, peeing quickly before washing his face and brushing his teeth thoroughly. He strips himself of his clothing, pausing at his briefs before ridding himself of those as well. It’s perhaps a little presumptuous, but somehow Eliott doesn’t think Lucas will mind.</p><p>Eliott walks back into the room, tossing his clothing on top of his backpack as he approaches the bed. Lucas is laying on his back, covers pushed to one side, busy on his phone. He’s laid sideways, at an opposing angle to how one would normally position themselves, and his feet dangle off the edge. There’s no doubt he’s noticed Eliott’s presence, but he hasn’t taken his eyes off his phone. Eliott stops at his feet, knocking them apart to stand between them.</p><p>“Do you min –” Lucas’s words cut off at the sight of Eliott naked and he swallows heavily.</p><p>Eliott smirks, pleased to see he’s caught Lucas off guard. He takes advantage of Lucas’s momentary stupor. Grabbing his ankles, Eliott yanks him to the edge of the bed. Lucas yelps, dropping his phone to the bed beside him.</p><p>“That’s better,” Eliott grins, pushing Lucas’s legs up and into his body as he runs hands from the back of Lucas’s knees, down to the edge of his briefs just beneath his ass.</p><p>Lucas raises an eyebrow and while his voice comes out less than impressed, his shortness of breath gives him away. “Think you can just manhandle me whenever you want?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott grins, running fingers tips beneath the edge of his briefs and relishing in the way Lucas shivers. “I think you <em>like </em>when I manhandle you.”</p><p>“Seem pretty sure of yourself,” Lucas says, voice grown rough with anticipation.</p><p>Eliott steps closer, pressing his increasingly interested dick against Lucas’s clothed ass. “Experience has taught me to be.”</p><p>“Ugh.” Lucas’s lip curls. “That’s such a skeezy thing to say.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, leaning forward as he presses Lucas’s thigh towards his chest to bend him further. “Yeah, well –”</p><p>“Ow!” Lucas complains, kicking one leg out of Eliott’s hold.</p><p>Eliott rises immediately, releasing the pressure on Lucas’s legs, though Lucas himself keeps them bent and spread around Eliott. “You ok?”</p><p>“I told you I was gonna be sore, you asshole,” Lucas complains. He reaches with a hand, rubbing at the back of his thigh. “My hammies are killing me.”</p><p>“Hammies?” Eliott snickers, knocking Lucas’s hands away to replace them with his own. “Is that the technical term?” He digs fingers into the backs of Lucas’s thighs, massaging into the muscle.</p><p>“Shut up. You know what I mean. Hamstrings.”</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott hums, drawing his eyebrows together with a faux stern expression. “I don’t know. We’re surgeons, aren’t we? Think you can do better than that.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. “We studying for an anatomy exam or having sex?”</p><p>Eliott’s smile stretches across his face, heat spreading through his body at the confirmation that Lucas is indeed just as invested in them having sex as Eliott. “I thought we could do both.” Eliott smooths his hands up and down the back of Lucas’s thighs. “Always thought practicing on a real body would be better than cue cards.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, looking mildly charmed. “I hated the memorization.”</p><p>“Me too,” Eliott admits. He moves his hands off Lucas’s legs, stretching to lay down in between them instead, their stomachs and lower halves pressing together. He keeps their chests separate, propping himself on his arms so he can look down at Lucas. “Think it might be a lot more fun this way.” He leans down, bypassing Lucas’s face to brush lips to the side of his neck. “See this?” He presses a kiss there, dragging his teeth along the muscle as it tightens. “Sternocleidomastoid muscle.” He nips at the skin, listening to the way Lucas’s breath stutters, before following it down to where Lucas’s bone stretches his skin. “And this?” Eliott runs his lips down the length of it. “Clavicle bone.”</p><p>Lucas’s hands move up into Eliott’s hair, weaving through the strands. “Clavicle ‘s too easy.”</p><p>Eliott’s laughs lightly against his skin and Lucas’s hands tighten their grip. He moves his lips down Lucas’s chest. “What about?” He presses a kiss to the skin. “Pectoralis Major.” A little lower, he nips the skin. “Pectoralis Minor.”</p><p>“‘s pretty –” Lucas’s words slur, and he shifts restlessly beneath Eliott’s mouth. “Pretty basic. Anatomy 101.” <em>Brat</em>.</p><p>Eliott slides his hands beneath Lucas’s arms, shoving them upwards. Lucas’s body jerks beneath Eliott but he otherwise doesn’t resist, raising his arms to lay up and beside his head, mouth parting with quickened breath. Eliott pushes himself up on one hand to look down at the beautiful boy beneath him, as he runs the fingers of his other hand beneath Lucas’s arm, next to his rib cage, dipping back to locate the muscle he wants as Lucas pants beneath him. “Lattisimus Dorsi.” Eliott runs his fingertips gently against the part of the muscle he can reach. Lucas shudders, eyelids closing briefly before they reopen and his eyes fix on Eliott, the blue deepened with the black of his pupil.</p><p>Lucas lifts his other arm, hand moving to Eliott’s face to cup his jaw. His thumb smooths along Eliott’s jawline and he smiles a little. “Sexy mandible.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, turning his face to press a kiss to the palm of Lucas’s hand. “Think I can do better than that,” he teases, running fingers up and down the arm Lucas has raised to touch Eliott. He traces the bicep, digging his thumb in just slightly. “Biceps brachii.” Gliding fingers higher to the forearm, he scrapes his nails across the delicate skin, watching with satisfaction as goosebumps rise. “Brachioradialis.” Eliott runs his lips down the back of Lucas’s arm as he lowers himself down to Lucas’s chest.</p><p>“Triceps brachii,” Lucas breathes.</p><p>Eliott smiles against his skin, moving until he hovers over Lucas’s nipple. He glances back up, seeing that Lucas is straining to look back down at him. “Nippulus erectus.” Lucas giggles instantly.</p><p>“That’s not a thing.”</p><p>“No?” Eliott asks with a cheeky grin. “Should be.” With that he bends down to latch his mouth to the rosy nub. Lucas arches up under him, hands pressing Eliott’s head down into his chest as he moans loudly. Eliott worries the nipple with his teeth before sucking, moving hands to grip the sides of Lucas's ribcage when he writhes beneath the attention. He can feel Lucas’s cock plump - growing harder still - where it's pressed to Eliott’s stomach through a layer of cotton. But Eliott isn't done yet. He drags lips to Lucas’s other nipple to give it equal attention, relishing the way Lucas moans, loud and unrestrained. When Eliott finally relents Lucas makes a noise caught between relief and regret.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas squirms beneath him, “I want them – off. Get them…” Eliott rises up enough to see the subject of Lucas’s consternation. One of his hands moves from Eliott’s hair to tug at the waistband of his briefs. He can’t quite do it one-handed however, and he seems determined not to let go of his purchase on Eliott with his other hand. Eliott considers teasing him but… well, the way Eliott’s own erection is throbbing at the sight of Lucas desperate and squirming beneath him, does not bode well for his own patience. He just… needs to be inside Lucas.</p><p>He peels Lucas’s briefs down, standing to pull them all the way off before he returns to his position between Lucas’s legs. He runs his hands down Lucas’s inner thighs, staring down at Lucas’s erection, hard and red, and weeping precome from the tip.</p><p>“You start listing the anatomical parts of my cock, I’m leaving,” Lucas says with a breathless laugh.</p><p>Eliott grins, running a finger up the underside of Lucas’s cock, and listening for Lucas’s sharp inhale. He wraps his hand around the head, pressing his thumb into the tip and rubbing. When he glances up, he's satisfied to see Lucas's face is flush with colour, forehead damp with sweat, and lips, swollen and red, from being worried between his teeth. And it occurs to Eliott, he hasn’t kissed Lucas yet. Not since they were sat at the dinner table. An oversight that must be rectified.</p><p>Eliott falls forward, crushing Lucas beneath him as he grips his face between hands, pressing their lips together without any warning. Lucas makes a small sound of surprise, and Eliott takes advantage of his parted mouth, plundering it with his tongue, until Lucas responds, kissing Eliott back with just as much ardor. Their erections are pressed together and Lucas keens against his lips, grinding up against Eliott in small, ineffectual movements.</p><p>“Eliott.” A whine, spoken against Eliott’s lips. “Condom.” Another kiss, hard and fast. “Lube.” A bite to Eliott’s lower lip. “Please. Need you. <em>Need you</em>.”</p><p>Eliott buries his face in Lucas’s neck, breathing heavily as he calls on whatever modicum of self-restraint he has left. He raises his head. “In my bag.”</p><p>“Go,” Lucas pants. And then louder when Eliott doesn’t move. “Go!”</p><p>“Yeah. Ok. Ok.” Eliott pushes up and away, holding his erection in a tight fist as he hurries to his bag at the side of the room. His hands are shaking and his fingers clumsy as he battles with the zipper of the side pocket, and he breathes a sigh of relief when he gets it open, quickly retrieving the needed supplies before he rises and turns back to the bed.</p><p>Lucas has moved to a kneel on the edge of the mattress, his hair is a delightful storm of tangles, stray strands stuck to the sweat on his forehead. He smiles when he sees Eliott has managed to find the requested items, a happy, sweet expression, in total contrast to the way he sits naked, erection held in the tight grasp of one hand. A contradiction. Eliott loves that about him.</p><p>Eliott moves to the bed, tossing the condoms and lube to the side, reaching for Lucas, intent on another kiss. Instead Eliott finds himself being rolled onto his back, legs from the knees down hanging off the side of the bed, and with Lucas perched high on his stomach. Eliott hands move instinctually to Lucas’s hips, gripping tightly as he regains his bearings. Lucas is reaching for the lube.</p><p>“You want –” His voice is too broken and affected to sound like words. He tries again, “You want to be on top?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas breathes. And he’s… he’s spreading the lube onto his own fingers.</p><p>“What are you doing?” Eliott asks around a laboured inhale. The question is needless. He knows, and it’s only confirmed when Lucas presses one hand to Eliott’s chest as he tips forward, reaching back with the other to press slick fingers into his own body. Eliott shudders, grip tightening on Lucas’s hips as he watches. The angle is awkward and Lucas makes a frustrated sound but he seems determined, fingers moving out of sight, as he grinds against Eliott’s stomach, mouth dropped open and eyes fixed on Eliott’s face. “I can…” Eliott offers, letting the rest of the sentence float between them unsaid.</p><p>Lucas shakes his head immediately. “No, you’ll just –” He breaks off with a choked groan. He must have added another finger. Eliott’s cock jerks where it sits behind Lucas untouched. “You’ll go too slow,” Lucas says around a moan. His eyes drop closed, eyebrows pulling together as he concentrates.</p><p>A low laugh rumbles in Eliott’s chest. “Can’t blame me.” He loosens his grip on Lucas’s hips, smoothing a hand over Lucas’s ass until he finds what he’s looking for. “Every time I’m with you,” Eliott breathes, pressing a finger beside Lucas’s at his hole, “never want it to end.” Lucas’s eyes open, dark and unfocused. His fingers don’t stop, fucking into him in a quick, shallow movement, meant to do no more than ready his body for Eliott – for Eliott’s cock. Eliott swallows heavily, watching every flicker of changing desire on Lucas’s face as he pushes into his body beside Lucas's own fingers. It’s tight and slick, an odd feeling to press into Lucas's body beside fingers that are not his own. But it’s hot too… it’s so <em>fucking hot</em>… seeing the way Lucas’s face bunches as though he can’t decide whether he likes it, before he groans and pushes back against Eliott’s finger, driving it deeper alongside his own which have stopped all motion. “God,” Eliott croaks. “I’d stay inside you forever if I could.”</p><p>Lucas’s hand moves, knocking Eliott’s away. He reaches for the condom on the bed, slapping it to Eliott’s chest with slick fingers. “On. Put it – now – on.” Eliott would tease Lucas for the frenzied, disjointed way he’s speaking, if Eliott himself weren’t feeling just as frantic. He feels far too close to the edge already. Thank god for the barrier of the condom, Eliott thinks, as Lucas moves back to his thighs and Eliott rips open the condom, rolling it on with shaking hands. If it were skin to skin – <em>god, </em>if Eliott was inside Lucas bare – there’s no way he’d last longer than it took to seat himself fully inside Lucas's body. As it is, even the thought of being inside Lucas like that – <em>coming </em>inside Lucas – has a warning prickle of an impending orgasm building low, low in Eliott’s belly. He reaches for the lube but Lucas beats him to it. Squeezing more onto his already slick hand and quickly coating the condom stretched on Eliott’s cock. There’s no ceremony or teasing in the way he does it, and yet Eliott groans lowly at the touch, unable to help the way his hips thrust up into Lucas’s hand. Lucas smiles, sweet with it, as he moves his other hand to Eliott’s chest to balance himself and rises up above Eliott’s body. Eliott moves a hand to his own erection to hold it steady, just as Lucas's presses the tip to his hole and begins to sink down. The head of his cock pushes past the initial resistance of Lucas’s body, and Eliott inhales deeply at the feeling of Lucas’s body swallowing him. His other hand grips tightly at Lucas's waist, and he pants, sucking in lungfuls of air as Lucas slowly fucks himself on Eliott's cock, until he’s seated, body flush with Eliott’s hips... all of Eliott inside him.</p><p>“Oh god,” Lucas moans, a broken, pleasure-filled sound. His eyes open where he’d shut them as he took Eliott’s body into his own. “You feel – fuck –” He shifts, not rising yet, but grinding into Eliott as though to drive him even deeper though it doesn’t even feel possible. “You feel so deep,” Lucas breathes, echoing the thought filling Eliott’s own head.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott groans, and it feel as though every muscle in his body is locked with the effort it’s taking not to move – not to roll Lucas over and fuck him until neither of them can see straight, “please. Move.”</p><p>Lucas licks his lips, eyes shutting and eyebrows pulling together as he flexes his thighs and rises, Eliott’s cock appearing between his legs, shiny with lube and harder than Eliott thinks he’s ever been. And then Lucas is slamming back down. He doesn’t start slow and build a tempo. His pace is fast and rough from the very start. He throws his head back and <em>bounces </em>on Eliott’s cock, his own slapping against Eliott’s belly, and he drives closer and closer to release, surrendering entirely to the pleasure Eliott's body is bringing him. Eliott can do little more than grip Lucas’s hips and try not to come. But the combination of the heat and tight grip of Lucas’s body, and the picture he makes, fucking himself on Eliott’s body, mouth dropped open and eyes shut as he releases small grunts of pleasure with every slam of Eliott’s cock back into him – little <em>ungh, ungh, ungh</em>’s that are driving Eliott mad – is enough to have Eliott’s orgasm coiling in his balls, demanding release whether Eliott allows it or not. He moves a hand to Lucas’s erection, and Lucas’s eyes snap open, falling on Eliott with wild abandon. Eliott strips his cock in time with the thrust of his cock in and out of Lucas’s body, and Lucas’s movements falter. His hand slides to Eliott’s chest as he falls forward, moving in a deep grind now as he thrusts himself into Eliott’s hand and back onto his cock, movements without any rhythm, guided only by his desperation to come.</p><p>Eliott tightens the grip of his other hand at Lucas’s waist, pulling his feet up to flatten to the bed as he thrusts up in a harsh slap of his hips against Lucas’s ass. Lucas cries out, nails of both hands scratching desperately at Eliott’s chest as he struggles to keep his eyes open and locked on Eliott.</p><p>“Come on, baby,” Eliott groans, continuing to fuck up into Lucas as he strips his cock mercilessly.</p><p>“Eli –” Lucas whines, expression almost agonized. “I – I –”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott encourages, “Gonna come?”</p><p>Lucas nods, biting his lower lip, as his face bunches together with pleasure.</p><p>“Want you to,” Eliott moans. “Fuck.” Eliott’s orgasm begins to crest in his own body and he’s helpless to stop it. “Coming. Baby – god – I’m coming.” Lucas’s body clamps around him as their orgasms hit them simultaneously. Lucas collapses down onto Eliott’s chest, grinding his cock into his stomach, as Eliott wraps arms tight around Lucas’s back and fucks up into him – once – twice – and then stays there, deep inside Lucas as he shoots his release into the condom. They’re both being loud. Eliott is dimly aware of it – the way Lucas is crying out in pleasure, and Eliott himself is groaning in a way that bears more resemblance to animal than human. It seems like it lasts forever though it can’t be more than half a minute that they shudder their release in one another’s arms. Lucas doesn’t move as they come down, collapsed astride Eliott with his face pressed in Eliott’s neck. It’s Eliott who rolls them to their sides, carefully pulling himself from Lucas’s body with a hold on the condom. Lucas’s eyes are still closed and he makes an unhappy sound at the loss.</p><p>Eliott leans forward to press a gentle kiss to his mouth. Lucas responds immediately, mouth moving against Eliott in a sloppy, open-mouthed kiss that screams of satisfaction – though perhaps that’s Eliott’s own brain talking. He finds himself smiling against Lucas’s lips, so much so, Lucas breaks the kiss, hand moving to cup Eliott’s cheek as he smiles in return, gentle and contented. Eliott dips his face closer to nuzzle their noses together and Lucas giggles softly in response, cheeks rosy red and eyes filled with so much happiness, Eliott can honestly say he’s never seen a more beautiful sight. It takes immeasurable strength to roll away enough to dispose of the condom in a garbage to the side of his night table. He moves to sit up when Lucas’s arms are suddenly at his waist, hauling him backwards with a nearly unintelligible ‘<em>nooo’</em> spoken into the skin of Eliott’s shoulder.</p><p>Eliott snickers, turning back on his side to face Lucas and moving an arm to wrap around him to pull him fully into Eliott’s chest. Lucas cuddles into him immediately with a happy sigh, one arm curled to his chest and the other wrapping around Eliott’s back in kind. “Baby,” Eliott tries, one hand moving up to brush through Lucas’s hair, “I’m just gonna go get a washcloth to clean us up, ok?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas says, lower lip jutting out in a pout, as his arm tightens around Eliott’s back.</p><p>“No?” Eliott can see a future laid out before him where he wins absolutely NO arguments with Lucas – not when this is what Lucas looks like when he wants his way, so damn cute the only real thought running through Eliott’s head is <em>squeeeeeeee!</em> “You’re not gonna let me go?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas repeats, this time shaking his head just once to the side. “I don’t care. We can be messy.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, leaning forward to press a kiss to the crease between Lucas’s eyebrows. “Ok,” he agrees as he pulls back. “Let me clean up a little though, ok? Don’t want us all crusty and gross in the morning.” Lucas looks a little suspicious that this might mean Eliott intends on leaving the bed, but when he realizes Eliott only intends on reaching for the Kleenex on his bedside table, he loosens his hold enough for Eliott to do so. Eliott makes quick work of it. Cleaning the worst of it off their bellies before he disposes of the Kleenex in the garbage, and flicks off the bedside lamp, turning back to pull Lucas into his chest once more. Lucas comes easily. Malleable and warm in Eliott’s arms, he cuddles immediately into his chest with a happy hum.</p><p>Eliott runs a hand gently up and down Lucas’s bare back, eyes drifting closed when he realizes – “Lucas, you’re on the wrong side.” It’s Lucas’s side of the bed but it’s also the side closest to the bedroom door.</p><p>“Hmm?” Lucas hums in question against Eliott’s skin.</p><p>“Of the bed,” Eliott explains in a whisper. “You want to switch? So the ghosts don’t get you?” He’s half expecting an elbow to the ribs.</p><p>Instead Lucas only presses a kiss to his chest with a gentle, “No, ‘m good.”</p><p>“Not scared anymore?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas whispers, voice laden with sleep. “There’s you.”</p><p>Eliott can’t be sure whether he means this as a way of suggesting Eliott will protect him, or a reference to the ongoing joke that the ghosts will get Eliott first. Somehow Eliott thinks it’s the former. Lucas has long since gone silent and still in Eliott’s arms, breath slowed with slumber, when Eliott lets his eyes shut and sleep take him. And Lucas is right. Eliott will always keep him safe.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott wakes to Lucas squirming in his hold and his voice talking to… Eliott?</p><p>“Quit it,” Lucas mumbles, sounding half asleep. “Eli, what’re doing? ‘M not into that.”</p><p>Eliott blinks. His face is buried in Lucas’s hair and he tips it back to stare down at him in question. Lucas’s eyes are still closed.</p><p>“What are you talking about?” Eliott whispers, voice rough with disuse.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes open, his expression confused as he looks at Eliott until suddenly he yelps, legs jerking up and into Eliott as he swings around in the bed. And there, Bear stands next to where Lucas’s foot had been, butt wiggling with happiness when he sees they’re both awake. Eliott glances to the bedroom door to see it’s partially open. His mom must have let Bear in. Her not-so-subtle way of preventing them from sleeping any longer.</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas groans, sitting up and immediately trying to wipe his toes against the blanket.</p><p>“You thought I was licking your toes?” Eliott laughs, collapsing back into his pillow.</p><p>“Ugh,” Lucas huffs, reaching to give Bear a good morning scratch on the head. “I was still half asleep.”</p><p>“Oh sure,” Eliott nods smartly, before he leaps forward to wrap arms around Lucas and pull him back to the mattress. Lucas squeaks but allows himself to be pulled down. Eliott hovers over him with a grin. “Half asleep and your first thought was that I’d wake you up by licking your toes. I don’t know how to feel about that. ‘S little kinky. And here I thought you were vanilla.”</p><p>“Shut up!” Lucas shoves at Eliott’s chest until Eliott moves to collapse beside him. Lucas rolls onto his side to face him, displeasure clear. “I’m not vanilla.” His eyes drop to his hand on the bed before darting up to look at Eliott and then away. “Am I?”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed by this rare show of insecurity. “Wouldn’t be the best sex of my life if you were.”</p><p>Lucas eyes move back to him, widened with surprise. “Best? Really?”</p><p>Eliott exhales a quick laugh. “Yeah. I already told you that.”</p><p>“No,” Lucas disagrees, licking his lips nervously. “No, you said… you never said it like that.”</p><p>Eliott hums, moving an arm to wrap around Lucas’s back and pull him closer. He presses a soft kiss to Lucas’s mouth before responding. “Well, it’s true. I’ve always loved sex but… I didn’t know it could feel like this.” Lucas smiles, just a little, sweet with it, and Eliott can’t help but ask, “It’s the same for you?” It doesn’t come out quite like a question. Eliott isn’t even sure if it is.</p><p>Lucas nods and something inside Eliott unfurls. “Yeah,” Lucas admits, gaze catching Eliott’s and staying there. “I had a couple boyfriends and like… hookups…”</p><p>“Fucking Jeremy,” Eliott grumbles and it makes Lucas laugh.</p><p>“Yeah, him. Others too. And it was always just… good. Sometimes not even that. Nothing like this.”</p><p>Eliott needs to kiss him again – doesn’t know how he went twenty-seven years without kissing Lucas. The moment Eliott tips his head, Lucas stretches up as though it’s all he was waiting for too. It’s a soft press of lips as they sink into one another. Apparently, this is enough however, for Bear to decide he’s had enough of not being the center of attention. He leaps onto the bed, bounding up between them, sharp nails of one or more of his paws, digging into Eliott’s calf. Lucas starts laughing before their lips have even parted. Eliott pulls back, turning to Bear with an unimpressed look.</p><p>“You really gonna cockblock me like that, buddy? Uncool.”</p><p>Unperturbed by the attempted scolding, Bear pounces on Lucas, immediately giving him with the most slobbery of kisses.</p><p>“Bear!” Lucas shrieks between giggles, turning his face from side to side but it’s of no use. Bear is big and determined, and Lucas is laughing too hard to block him effectively.</p><p>“That’s it!” Eliott hollers, sitting up in bed to pull Bear away by the collar. He scoots him off the bed and Bear turns back to look at him in betrayal. “Don’t even try it,” Eliott scoffs. “If I don’t get to kiss him, you don’t get to kiss him.” Bear snorts.</p><p>“This is why I’m their favourite,” Lucas says as he sits up, wiping at the slobber on his face with a grimace.</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott hums, not quite agreement or argument. “Go ahead and use the shower first. I’ll take him downstairs and see about breakfast. We’ll leave right after, yeah?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Yeah, sounds good. I wanna get back early enough to get sorted before…” His nose scrunches adorably. “Regular life tomorrow.”</p><p>Bear follows Eliott with some reluctance, apparently much more interested in Lucas walking naked to the bathroom. Eliott truly can’t blame him there. With a little convincing in the form of physically holding to his collar until they get out of the bedroom and the door is shut behind them, Eliott manages to get Bear into the hall. Bear looks up at him, unconvinced of the proceedings.</p><p>“I’d rather be in there with him too,” Eliott agrees in reaction to the look on Bear’s face. “But we need to get breakfast.” And that’s the magic word. Bear perks up and goes bounding ahead of Eliott down the hall. The way he then thunders down the stairs, effectively announces Eliott’s arrival.</p><p>“So, he finally decided to get up,” his dad crows from the breakfast table the moment he sees Eliott.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees around a yawn. “With a little help from this one.” He points at Bear, who turns to look at Eliott’s mom as if to say, ‘I did good, hunh?’ Just as Eliott suspected.</p><p>“I didn’t think you’d want to oversleep,” his mom defends, knowing the exact assumption Eliott has made.</p><p>“Mmhm.” Eliott moves to sit at a stool pulled up to the center island. “You guys have a good time with Patrick and Marie?”</p><p>“We did,” his mom answers. “They asked about you.” Eliott only snorts in response.</p><p>“What about you two scoundrels,” his dad pipes in. “Didn’t burn the place down in our absence. I’m disappointed. Thought I raised you better than that.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Naw, sorry to let you down, dad. We just had a chill night. It was good.” He looks to his mom. “Thank you.”</p><p>She nods. “I noticed you didn’t make Lucas do the dishes.” She tips her head to pots which now sit shining and clean on the counter. Pots Eliott had left soaking in the sink with the intention of coming back to clean them.</p><p>“Fuck! I mean – shit – sorry, mom. I meant to –” She waves him off.</p><p>“It’s fine. I’m glad you two had a good time. You’re leaving after breakfast?”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Yeah, we don’t want to get back too late.”</p><p>“Good, yes. I’d rather you drive in the daylight anyways. It’s going to storm.” His mom, always the worrier. “We’re having oatmeal for breakfast. Does that work for you?”</p><p>Eliott considers it. He personally loves oatmeal, but he tops it with fruit. While Lucas would likely stomach whatever he was given when in the company of Eliott’s parents, Eliott doubts he would choose such an option for breakfast.</p><p>“Yeah, just… could we add some toppings? Peanut butter and chocolate chips maybe? Oh, and those dried cranberries that taste like candy?”</p><p>His mom looks at him in confusion. “If you’re about to tell me you’re pregnant…”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “No, sorry to disappoint. No grandkids yet. It’s for Lucas. He’s got a serious sweet tooth.”</p><p>“Ah, well in that case we might even have some leftover whipped cream.”</p><p>“Whipped cream?” His dad exclaims from the table. “On my oatmeal?” He sounds positively delighted. “We need to keep Lucas around.”</p><p>Eliott grins. “I’m working on it.”</p><p>They set up a selection of oatmeal toppings that more closely resembles something like a sundae bar. And while the intent had been to do so for Lucas, Eliott’s dad could not be more thrilled. He’s always been outnumbered when it comes to Eliott and his mom choosing healthier options for meals, and he only now seems to have realized Lucas has leveled the playing field.</p><p>“We should do this every morning,” he says, looking a lot like a kid on Christmas morning as he piles sugary toppings into his already half-eaten bowl of oatmeal, and Eliott’s mom looks on with mild disgust.</p><p>“Honestly, honey,” she reproves.</p><p>“Lucas leaves today,” he defends. “It’s my last chance.”</p><p><em>“Last chance?”</em> Lucas asks, softly from behind them as he walks into the kitchen.</p><p>Eliott turns to him and then freezes. His hair is still damp. He looks fresh and clean and even more devastatingly… “You’re wearing…” His glasses. Eliott can’t even finish the thought out loud. He’s honestly never thought a lot about glasses before. He hasn’t ever had to wear them. And they’ve always been entirely inconsequential to whether Eliott finds someone hot or not. But on Lucas… <em>fuck</em>… how can something so innocuous be so goddamn hot?!</p><p>“Oh.” Lucas’s hand moves to his face, fingers touching the frames briefly. “I forgot. I was reading my texts and my eyes are tired.”</p><p>His mom speaks from behind Eliott. “Well, I think you look very handsome. Now come see. We’ve put together an assortment of oatmeal toppings for you.”</p><p>“Oh yeah?” Lucas comes to stand next to Eliott. He takes in the various items on the table with wide eyes. “Wow.”</p><p>“Last chance,” Eliott’s dad repeats, jabbing an elbow into Lucas’s side with a gleeful smile. “They’d never let me eat like this if you weren’t here.”</p><p>Lucas laughs, looking up at Eliott. “Really?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Wanted to make sure you had something you’d like.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, sweet and happy. And then he’s rising to his tiptoes and… pressing a quick kiss to Eliott’s mouth. They freeze at the same moment, with their lips barely separated, and Lucas seems to be just as shocked by his actions as Eliott.</p><p>“Don’t we have some chocolate syrup in the fridge?” Eliott’s dad asks.</p><p>“No, Christophe,” his mom answers. “I don’t care if there is. You’re going to be bouncing off the walls for the rest of the day as it is.”</p><p>“Oh come on, Nat. We can be kids again.”</p><p>“I never ate this way when I was a child.”</p><p>“And that right there is a travesty we must correct! Where’s your bowl, sweetheart? I’ll start you off with chocolate chips and a little whipped cream.”</p><p>“Don’t you dare!”</p><p>Lucas’s tense posture relaxes as he turns back to the table, smiling as Eliott’s parents continue to squabble. And Eliott’s so, <em>so </em>grateful for them in that moment. For their ability to read situations and respond so seamlessly. For the fact that they like Lucas and have gone out of their way to make him feel comfortable. For the way they’ve made it feel like this… like Lucas is one of them… family.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“I’m here! I’m here!” Alexia yells as she jumps out of her car. She’s yelling like they already had their foot on the gas pedal, ready to speed away, when in fact all they’re doing is throwing their bags into the back seat of the car. “Wait!” She runs around her car. Opening her passenger side door, she leans in and emerges with a small potted plant – or, no, flowers. It’s bursting with tiny white flowers. “I’m coming!”</p><p>“Lex,” Eliott laughs, “relax. We’re not shipping off to war.”</p><p>She rolls her eyes as she approaches. “Don’t give me attitude. I bring you gifts! Or… gift.” She holds the pot out to Eliott.</p><p>Eliott eyes it warily, reaching to take it with obvious reluctance. “Ummm.”</p><p>“Oh, Alexia darling,” Eliott’s mom laughs as she approaches with his dad, “don’t you remember what happened that week we left Eliott in charge of watering the plants?”</p><p>“Oh shit.” She cringes. “I forgot.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks from Eliott’s side. “What happened?”</p><p>Eliott’s dad chuckles. “Eliott has a habit of forgetting to water plants – even when he’s surrounded by them.”</p><p>“They’re hard to remember!” Eliott defends. “They’re not like pets. They’re just… easy to forget.”</p><p>“They’re pretty,” Lucas comments as the others are laughing (at Eliott’s expense – don’t think he hasn’t noticed).</p><p>“Cute, right?! They’re African daises,” Alexia explains. “Kinda look Eli’s tattoo, don’t they?”</p><p>“Yeah, they do.” Lucas reaches forward to brush his fingertips across the flowers.</p><p>“Figured you two would like ‘em,” Alexia says with a wiggle of her eyebrow. “Don’t think I missed that one you filched from the greenhouse.”</p><p>Lucas blushes immediately. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s no problem really,” she assures. “You can steal my flowers any time.”</p><p>“Alexia,” Eliott groans unhappily.</p><p>“What?” She defends, eyes wide with projected innocence but she’s not fooling Eliott. “It was an innocent offer!”</p><p>“Well thanks,” Lucas laughs lightly. “And I can take care of the daisies.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks surprised.</p><p>Lucas shrugs, glancing up at him. “I’m pretty good with plants. We’ll just keep them at my place.”</p><p>Eliott is stunned into silence.</p><p>“Awesome!” Alexia responds, happy with the solution. “They’d do better in a garden but if you put them in a bigger planter, that would work too. Actually, a mix of a bunch of wildflowers in a bigger planter would be gorgeous.”</p><p>She continues to ramble about flower choices while Lucas listens attentively, and all Eliott can think about is Lucas’s offer. To take the flowers. Like it’s… <em>their</em> plant. Like they’re sharing it. And Eliott supposes that’s exactly what Alexia intended. It’s just that it’s such a… couples thing to do. Lucas had spoken as though they were already an established couple. Like the solution had been obvious. If Eliott couldn’t care for the plant, Lucas would. Like a partner. A boyfriend. And Eliott’s just… happy. Really, really happy.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>It starts raining the moment they’re pulling out of the driveway, as though the world too feels the need to express its displeasure over their weekend being over. They’re both silent initially. Eliott can help but digest the feelings that come from such a weekend – without a doubt, the best weekend Eliott has ever had visiting home since he first moved out for university. The silence doesn’t last, however.</p><p>As Sofiane’s car is quite a bit older, the only option for musical entertainment is the radio. This leads to a spirited discussion – ok, argument – over who should be in charge of radio station selection. Eliott’s ‘I’m the driver, I get to pick’ argument is quite literally laughed at by the brat currently known as Eliott’s passenger. Naturally, Lucas insists the radio should be his domain. And granted his argument that Eliott shouldn’t be distracted, most especially when driving in an increasingly heavy rainstorm, is a good one. But Eliott takes exception to Lucas quickly following that argument with a statement declaring that anyone who would play dubstep in surgery, cannot be trusted with radio selection. And it turns out, when it comes to music, Lucas is painfully indecisive. He’s switching the station for the fifth time in less than ten minutes and Eliott just can’t take it anymore.</p><p>“Just pick one!” He complains. “You barely stay on a station long enough to hear what song is playing.”</p><p>“Pssh,” Lucas scoffs. “I do. Those songs just suck. I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”</p><p>“Dr. Millet likes my music.” Maybe – <em>maybe </em>– he says that to goat Lucas. He’ll admit nothing.</p><p>“Millet wants to suck your dick,” Lucas grumps immediately.</p><p>“No, he doesn’t,” Eliott laughs, delighted by the ridiculous show of jealousy over a <em>straight</em>, married doctor who could not be less of a threat.</p><p>“Whatever,” Lucas sighs, flopping back into his seat. “I can’t find anything good.”</p><p>“You’re one of those people who puts their music on shuffle and then flips through every song until you find that one song you’ve listened to a thousand times, aren’t you?” Eliott’s question is met with silence. He glances over to see Lucas is pouting. “I knew it!”</p><p>“This weather is crazy. Was it even forecast to rain like this?”</p><p>“Oh no,” Eliott laughs. “Don’t go trying to change the subject. You’re –” He cuts off with the sound of a screech against the windshield, then something thumping over top of the car. “What the fuck was –” But the windshield is suddenly obscured by rain. It was the wiper. <em>The</em> <em>motherfucking wiper came off.</em></p><p>“Eliott?” Lucas asks confused. He doesn’t seem to realize what’s happened as the wiper on his side of the car is still present and accounted for.</p><p>Eliott can’t speak, all his concentration going to getting them off the road safely. He looks for the shoulder of the road, using Lucas’s side of the windshield to better size up the amount of space available. By some minor miracle, there are no cars currently around them. Eliott hits the breaks, quickly moving the car onto the shoulder of the highway, pulling as far off as he dares without putting them directly in the ditch. He only breathes when he has the car in park. Exhaling heavily, he turns to look at Lucas.</p><p>“What just happened?” Lucas asks, looking mildly fearful now.</p><p>“The fucking windshield wiper,” Eliott explains. “It just flew off. What the fuck? I can’t see a thing.” He gestures to his side of the windshield where the bracket for the wiper continues to move but no actual wiper is attached.</p><p>“Jesus. What do we do?”</p><p>Eliott considers their options for a moment. “Switch the one from your side to mine? That should get us home safely. Then we can let Sofiane handle it.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Ok, yeah. Yeah, let’s do this.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott says immediately. “You stay in the car. We’re on the side of a busy highway. It’s dangerous.”</p><p>“Yeah, that’s why I’m doing it with you.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott tries but Lucas is already getting out of the car, stepping into the heavy downpour. “Fuck!” Eliott quickly follows. They’re not dressed for rain and it’s the sort of storm that soaks you within seconds. Eliott quickly rounds the car to Lucas’s side. The rain drips down both of their faces, obscuring vision, and Eliott squints, wiping ineffectually at his face. “Ok, so, we just take it off,” he yells over the sound of the rain.</p><p>Lucas reaches to pull the wiper to a vertical position, looking back at Eliott. “How? We just pull it?”</p><p>Eliott squashes himself to Lucas’s side, squinting at the wiper. “This thing.” He reaches to press the spot he means. “It’s like a button – a lock or something.” It doesn’t quite press down the way Eliott’s expecting and he grunts as he digs his thumb into it, pulling at the wiper but nothing budges.</p><p>“Lemme try!” Lucas yells, moving a hand over Eliott’s until he can grip the wiper too. His attempt is just as unsuccessful.</p><p>“Fuck!” Eliott yells, pulling his hand back to yank at his sopping hair instead. “The other one just flings itself from the car and this one is locked up like a fucking fortress!”</p><p>“Wait, wait!” Lucas yells back. He battles for a moment with his own hair, pushing it back and away from his eyes, though the attempt to clear his vision is largely ineffective as his long eyelashes seem to be catching every rain drop that falls. “I think it just needs a little muscle.” He doesn’t wait for a response from Eliott, instead he begins crawling on top of the hood of the car.</p><p>“Lucas! What the fuck are you doing?!” Eliott yells, hands moving to Lucas’s hip and leg, though he does little more than touch. Lucas is already on top of the hood in a kneel, turned to face the wiper.</p><p>Lucas looks at him, the seriousness of his expression at war with the very ridiculous picture he makes kneeling on top of the car, soaked to the bone. “You press that button thing,” he yells, “and I’ll pull. On the count of three.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t argue, quickly getting in position. “Alright, ready!”</p><p>“One, two, three!”</p><p>Eliott presses as hard as he can and Lucas grunts with effort, but nothing moves.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott shakes his head, loosening his hold, “it’s not working.”</p><p>“No!” Lucas’s face bunches with determination. “One more time. It’s gonna give. I know it! It’s just a stubborn, fucking asshole.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, but he gets back into position. “Ok. On three. One, two, three!” They both give it their all and this time the button under Eliott’s thumb moves, and suddenly Lucas is wrenching the wiper lose with a victorious cry. Eliott falls back in surprise, staring open-mouthed at Lucas. And what a sight.</p><p>“Victory is ours!!!” Lucas yells at the top of his lungs, throwing his head back with arms spread wide, brandishing the wiper as though it were a sword and he were a warrior sounding his battle cry. He is the most ridiculous, wonderful person Eliott has ever known.</p><p>Eliott starts laughing, a giddy, half-hysterical laugh he can’t help. Lucas looks at him and then he’s laughing too. And they’re drenched, on the side of a highway, Lucas still kneeling on top of the car with windshield wiper in hand. Eliott needs to lean on the car as his laughter overtakes him. It has to be one of the most surreal, ludicrous, perfect moments of Eliott’s life.</p><p>“Get down from there, you lunatic!” Eliott yells the moment he can catch his breath, smile still so wide his cheeks ache with it.</p><p>Lucas drops the wiper on the driver’s side of the car and shuffles towards Eliott to get off the hood. He reaches for Eliott’s shoulders, while Eliott reaches for his hips, allowing Eliott to lift him off and to a stand against the side of the car. Eliott doesn’t think before he kisses him. It’s as instinctual as breathing. They’re both smiling too wide for the kiss to last, and Eliott dives in again as they laugh and smile against one another’s mouths, rain pounding down on them from above.</p><p>Eliott tips his head back, moving hands to cup Lucas’s face, brushing the rain drops from his skin with gentle thumbs.</p><p>“Lucas –” <em>I love you</em>. It’s right there. On the tip of Eliott’s tongue. He nearly says it. Standing in the rain, staring down at Lucas’s smiling face, Eliott knows it. The certainty feels a lot like the first night he met Lucas. When what he knew had never mattered less, and yet, all of it had never mattered more. A total contradiction. Right from the start. His Lucas. Eliott loves him so totally, so fiercely and completely, the knowledge nearly brings him to his knees. He thought he knew what love was. He’s been in love before. And yet he hasn’t. Not when this exists. This feeling. This boy in front of him, laughing and grinning in the rain. Love suddenly doesn’t feel like a big enough word. It’s not enough – not to encapsulate everything Eliott is feeling. And it’s been here with him – between them – for far longer than this moment, Eliott knows. With the knowledge comes familiarity, a name for everything he’s felt. The words he’s wanted to say more than once. <em>I love you.</em> <em>I’m in love with you</em>.</p><p>Eliott tips his head to press their foreheads together, the sound of the pouring rain thundering in his ears, only dampened slightly by the sound of his own heartbeat. He strokes thumbs down Lucas’s cheeks. “Lucas. Lucas.” He breathes the name. Lucas Lallemant. Is it possible to love a name? Eliott thinks he loved it before he ever knew it.</p><p>“Eli,” Lucas giggles, pushing away enough for them to see one another clearly. He’s still smiling. He reminds Eliott of the storm. Beautiful, fierce and wild. A torrent of rain, both dangerous and freeing. But he’s the sunshine too. Inevitable. He’s joy and happiness. He’s a heat Eliott had never known, but spent a lifetime missing. Lucas shivers in his arms. “You think you can manage to get that other wiper on? Or should I set up camp? I think even my ass crack is wet.” It is the least romantic statement in the world. Eliott loves him so much he nearly chokes on it.</p><p>“Get in the car,” Eliott manages to get out, pressing another quick kiss to Lucas’s lips. “Let’s go home.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p><p>Welp... he's in loooooooove and no one is surprised hehe. </p><p>A quick note about this chapter: </p><p>- The thing with the windshield wiper flying off while in the middle of driving in a torrential rain storm happened to me exactly like that. It was terrifying. I also didn't have the love of my life with me so... unfair.</p>
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<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hello! So first, apologies for missing some comments and being late on replies on some chapters. My whole vacation-turned-Covid-scare really threw things off. I am thankfully healthy and so is my family and I thank everyone who followed along and expressed their best wishes and concerns. I will be better about replying to comments now that I'm back home! </p><p>Also there is more social media this chapter than any chapter I have ever posted. It also includes some of my fave edits (you'll know 'em when you see 'em). So enjoy!</p><p>
  <b>WARNING: Mention of predatory behaviour in this chapter and chapter 10</b>
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</p><p>Lucas is on his phone as they pull up in front of his apartment building and makes a sound Eliott’s never heard before – like a word caught between a scream and a laugh. Eliott parks the car, turning to him in confusion.</p><p>“You alright?”</p><p>Lucas’s face is unusually pale, his eyes horrified as he looks up at Eliott from his phone. “Oh god.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott reaches to cup his face with one hand, immediately concerned, “what’s going on?”</p><p>Lucas laughs, high pitched and more than a little hysterical. “I… oh, this isn’t happening. I dropped my phone on the bed last night. Oh my god. I found it on the floor this morning. The battery was dead. I didn’t think…”</p><p>“What? What does that have to do with anything?”</p><p>Lucas stares at him wide-eyed for a moment before handing his phone to Eliott and immediately burying his face in his hands with a muffled, “I can never look at him again.”</p><p>“What? What are you talking about?”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t answer. More curious than concerned now, Eliott looks down to see an open text conversation with Yann.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott looks up, already laughing, only to receive a hard punch to his shoulder courtesy of Lucas.</p><p>“You are NOT fucking laughing about this! My best friend heard us having sex, Eliott. He has a VOICEMAIL of us having sex.”</p><p>“Oh, come on,” Eliott says, still chuckling. “You have to admit this is a little funny.”</p><p>“I have to go up there and look at him in the face!” Lucas groans, eyes scrunching in distress. “When he heard me… oh god… he heard me <em>moaning</em>.”</p><p>“You guys live together… with thin walls. You must have heard one another…” Eliott leaves the rest unspoken, not particularly wanting to think about Lucas’s sexual past, or acknowledge the fact that he’s undoubtedly made similar sounds with other men.</p><p>“No. I’m louder with you,” Lucas complains, entirely unaware of the way this statement makes Eliott’s heart rate pick up double-time. “I don’t ever sound like… uggghh, like <em>that</em>. Fuck.” His eyes widen in horror as he looks back to Eliott. “What if he plays it for the boys?”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott exhales a laugh, moving a hand to weave through Lucas’s hair, cupping the side of his head, “I’m sure he didn’t. That would be pretty fucking weird.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas nods, looking relieved, “you’re right. He wouldn’t do that.”</p><p>“And besides,” Eliott adds, leaning across the center console and pulling Lucas slightly closer so he can brush the tips of their noses together, “I like how loud you are. I love the sounds you make.” <em>I love YOU</em>.</p><p>Lucas puffs a breath of warmth against Eliott’s lips, his own hands moving up to cup either side of Eliott’s jaw. “That’s ‘cause you’re stupid.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, tipping close enough to brush their lips together. “I’m not. You’re just hot. Fuck…” He gives in to the urge to kiss, pressing their lips together in a contact Lucas eagerly meets, before pulling back once more with a shaky inhale. “The way you sound. You don’t even know what it does to me.”</p><p>Lucas snickers, tipping his head back to grin at Eliott. “Guess Yann does now.”</p><p>“Ugh.” Eliott cringes. “Ok, it is a little weird.”</p><p>“Told you!” Lucas smacks at his chest, pushing back a little.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott pulls him closer once more, “you think Yann would send it to me?”</p><p>“Eliott!” Lucas yells, effectively separating them this time. He seems to be caught between laughter and outrage. “You fucking perv!”</p><p>“What?” Eliott joins in his laughter. “Bet we’re hot together. Too bad it wasn’t video.”</p><p>“Do you even hear yourself?” Lucas shakes his head. “It went to YANN.”</p><p>“Oh.” Eliott scrunches his nose. “Right. Ok we’ll keep the videos just for us.”</p><p>“I swear to fucking god.” Lucas leans forward, smacking a quick kiss to Eliott’s lips before he turns to reach for the door handle. “I’m leaving. Go jerk off at home.”</p><p>Eliott snorts, hopping out of the car and quickly moving to retrieve Lucas’s backpack before he’s able to. Lucas rolls his eyes, rounding the car with one hand holding Alexia’s plant to his front, the other outstretched. Eliott swings the bag behind his back with a cheeky smile.</p><p>“Kiss first.”</p><p>“I just gave you a kiss, dickhead.”</p><p>Eliott grins, unapologetic. “Proper kiss. Please?”</p><p>Lucas huffs but the smile pulling at his mouth speaks to exactly how annoyed he most certainly is <em>not</em>. Lucas steps into his space, tipping his face up with wide blue eyes, mouth parted. “Well? Don’t expect me to come all the way up there, do you?”</p><p>Eliott laughs, immediately bending down to connect their lips. His arms move around Lucas’s back and the bag swings with them. In a happy accident, it thumps into Lucas’s ass and pushes him even closer. The kiss is deep and open-mouthed but the moment Eliott’s tongue licks at plump lips, Lucas pulls back, out of breath and face far more flushed than it had been a few seconds prior. He reaches behind himself to pull his bag from Eliott’s hold.</p><p>“I can walk you up,” Eliott offers, finding that he’s very reluctant to part with Lucas after the weekend spent together.</p><p>“No.” Lucas immediately shakes his head. “I have to do laundry and get ready for work tomorrow. If you come up, we’ll just…”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “What? We’ll what?” He moves to step closer and Lucas takes a step back clutching the plant more tightly to his chest.</p><p>“No, no. You stay there, mister. With your eyes and your mouth.”</p><p>Eliott laughs delighted. “My eyes and my mouth? What have they ever done to you?”</p><p>Lucas cocks an eyebrow which says about enough. “I’m going.” He turns, hooking his bag up over his shoulder, and pauses as he reaches the front steps to his building, glancing back at Eliott. “I’ll see you at work.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a soft smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p><p>And it’s maybe a little pathetic and a lot ridiculous, but the second Lucas disappears into his building, Eliott already misses him.</p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott yawns, scratching his belly as he exits his room and heads for the bathroom. He intentionally set his alarm earlier than he needed to in order to beat everyone else to the shower. And yet here he stands, looking at a closed bathroom door.</p><p>Eliott knocks on it annoyed. “Lucille, I’m going for breakfast with the boys and I need a shower.”</p><p>The door swings open in front of him, only it’s Alex coming out.</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott greets surprised. “You’re up early.”</p><p>Alex grins. “Just got in actually.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Eliott laughs. “Did you get any sleep?”</p><p>Alex shrugs, wiggling an eyebrow. “A little. Had more important things to do.”</p><p>“You and Emma just spent the weekend together. You didn’t get enough of one another then?”</p><p>“A weekend sleeping in a pull-out in the middle of the living room with my brothers a room away?” Ok… Eliott supposes that speaks for itself. Still…</p><p>“You two are pretty ridiculous.” Eliott shakes his head with a smile. “It went well with your brothers?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Alex grins. “I think they like her more than me now.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles, thinking of a certain bratty boy his parents had insisted – at least three times that Eliott had counted just when they were saying goodbye – come back for another visit as soon as possible. “I know that feeling.” He turns towards the bathroom when suddenly there’s a blur of hair and the door is slamming in front of him.</p><p>“Ohhh,” Alex intones with a laugh. “Tough luck.” He pats Eliott on the shoulder before departing to his room.</p><p>“<em>Lucillllllleeeee</em>,” Eliott whines, banging on the door. “I called dibs!”</p><p>“You know the rules. You snooze you lose!” She yells back through the wood.</p><p>“I wasn’t snooz – sleeping! I was literally standing outside the door.”</p><p>“My point exactly. Bathroom was free. Now go away, I’m peeing.”</p><p>“You better be fast!” Eliott threatens though he knows Lucille will take exactly as long as she wants to take. He shuffles back to his room, leaving his door open so he’ll notice the moment Lucille vacates the bathroom, and slumps to sit on the edge of his bed while he waits. He reaches for his phone but instead finds himself grabbing the book that lays under it. The Little Prince. He’d been planning to give it to Lucas this morning, having assumed Lucas was going to be visiting the kids at the hospital before shift. He hadn’t mentioned it but Eliott would put money on Lucas being eager to do so after a long weekend away. It’s just the type of person he is.</p><p>It’s no great disaster that Eliott won’t have a chance to do so until tomorrow. Sure he misses Lucas so much after a night apart it feels like a physical ache. And yes, so maybe he woke up reaching for Lucas only to be thoroughly confused when his arms came back empty. But they’ll see one another at work. In just a few hours. Eliott can last. And he’s never been the sort of person to pass over time with his friends in favour of spending more time with someone he’s sleeping with. It’s just that… this is <em>Lucas</em>. A few hours seems like far too long to wait after a night apart.</p><p>Eliott reaches for a pen, flipping open the book to the title page. There’s an inscription at the top of the page already. His mom’s writing.</p><p>
  <em>For our little prince. Love, mom and dad. </em>
</p><p>Eliott taps the pen against his mouth as he thinks. He’d spent longer than he would admit contemplating what to write as he’d laid in bed last night thinking about Lucas. It’s silly really. It’s certainly not the big deal Eliott’s making it out to be. And yet he hadn’t been able to decide on anything. Everything he’d come up with had felt too trite, too insignificant… too much or too little. But there’s a quote from the book that keeps coming to mind. A number do in fact, but one stands out from the rest. Eliott can’t remember it exactly but then… he doesn’t have to. It’s his words he wants to give Lucas. Not someone else’s. He takes a deep breath and writes.</p><p>
  <em>Dear Lucas, </em>
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  <em>Here is my secret. A very simple secret. I think my heart knew you before my eye. </em>
</p><p>Eliott nibbles on the cap of the pen for a moment before adding,</p><p>
  <em>Love, Eliott. </em>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott’s late but it’s one hundred percent Lucille’s fault. She’d used up almost all the hot water before deciding the bathroom was where she needed to blow-dry her hair. It was only when Eliott threatened to crush up her favourite cookies and sprinkle them off the balcony to the pigeons below, that she’d relented. He’d had a quick, lukewarm shower, before throwing on the first clean clothes he pulled from his drawer and rushing out the door.</p><p>Idriss and Sofiane are already seated at a table outside with coffees in front of them when Eliott rushes up.</p><p>“Oh, so now you show,” Idriss scoffs. He reaches into his pocket and produces five euros, slapping it into Sofiane’s waiting hand.</p><p>Sofiane turns with a smile as Eliott takes the vacant seat next to him. “Thanks man. You made me money today.”</p><p>Eliott looks between them confused. “How’d I do that?”</p><p>“By showing up,” Idriss scoffs.</p><p>“You told me I <em>had </em>to show up!” Eliott squawks, immediately offended.</p><p>“Idriss thought you were bailing to go see Lucas,” Sofiane explains. “I had a little more faith in you.”</p><p>“You were two more minutes away from paying up,” Idriss disagrees.</p><p>“Still the one with <em>your </em>money in my pocket,” Sofiane says with a cocky grin, waving the bill in the air before tucking it safely into the pocket of his jeans.</p><p>“Really feeling the love this morning,” Eliott grumbles as the waitress approaches.</p><p>“Good morning,” she chirps. “Now that we’re all here, are you ready to order?”</p><p>Eliott scrambles for the menu while Idriss and Sofiane go about ordering their food. He quickly decides on a yogurt, fruit, and granola combo but he need not have rushed to a decision. It would seem the waitress has set her eyes on Idriss and is in no rush to get Eliott’s order or leave the table.</p><p>“Oh wow, the hospital? I would have thought you were a personal trainer,” she’s says, and the way she’s leaning on the table with one arm to put her very impressive cleavage on display is definitely intentional. Eliott can’t say he blames her. If he’d had cleavage like that as a teen, he would have tried that move on Idriss too. “You must be in the gym all the time to look like that.”</p><p>Eliott bites the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing, glancing over at Sofiane to see that he too looks a moment from bursting.</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss replies, glancing up at her with a friendly enough smile, “I try to stay healthy.”</p><p>Eliott’s snort is lost in the sound of the waitress giggling. “Well, I can tell. I guess you’d probably need to be pretty strong. Lifting patients and all that.” Eliott’s one hundred percent sure she’s imagining Idriss’s arms lifting something much more interesting than patients.</p><p>Idriss nods. “Sure, for work. And my girlfriend, you know. Gotta stay looking good for her.”</p><p>Well… Eliott doesn’t think any one at the table knew that was coming but Idriss. To her credit, the waitress responds with an ease likely born from years of navigating the often treacherous waters of the customer service industry.</p><p>“Lucky girl.” She smiles and straightens, turning to Eliott. “And are you ready to order?”</p><p>“Oh!” What the hell was he going to order? “Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He fumbles with the menu again, scanning it to cue his memory and then going about ordering his yogurt and granola. She smiles at each of them before she leaves with a promise to come back with more coffee.</p><p>“What was <em>that</em>?” Sofiane asks before Eliott is able.</p><p>“What?” Idriss lifts his coffee, but his smirk is clear even as he sips from the cup.</p><p>“Manon’s your girlfriend now? When did this happen?”</p><p>“More importantly,” Eliott adds in, “does she know?”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Idriss laughs. Grabbing a sugar packet to throw at Eliott. “Yes, she knows.”</p><p>“That’s amazing.” Sofiane reaches across the table to rub an affectionate hand over Idriss’s head. “Told you it would work out.”</p><p>“When’d you guys make it official?” Eliott knows they were into one another from the get-go – knows that he’d never seen Idriss so intensely interested in someone before – yet it’s still a hurdle to overcome in his head. Idriss. His best friend who got slapped in the middle of the hospital because he’d always been more interested in sleeping around than committing, now with a <em>girlfriend</em>.</p><p>“Sofiane ditched to be with Imane over the weekend,” Idriss explains. “Manon came and stayed and…” He shrugs, looking relaxed and happy. “Got me a girlfriend.”</p><p>“Damn, bro,” Sofiane laughs. “That’s awesome. Happy for you.”</p><p>“Our boy Idriss,” Eliott chips in, “a committed man. Thought Sof and Imane would have at least a couple kids before we saw that happen.”</p><p>“Alright, alright,” Idriss waves off their laughter. “We’re not here to talk about me anyways.” He and Sofiane turn to Eliott in time.</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs. “You know what’s going on. No need for the interrogation faces.”</p><p>The waitress arrives with a cup of coffee for Eliott and a thermos to refill Idriss and Eliott’s own cups.</p><p>“We know you’re banging him like you’ve never seen dick before in your life,” Idriss says, unbothered by the waitress’s presence, whose eyes definitely widen as she glances between them before reluctantly leaving when another table calls for her attention.</p><p>“I am not,” Eliott complains after a delay, not totally happy with the level of desperation suggested by Idriss’s statement… no matter how accurate. “It’s just… <em>really good</em>. So, we take advantage. Nothing wrong with that.”</p><p>“Of course not,” Sofiane agrees, moving a hand to squeeze Eliott’s shoulder. “I think it’s great you two are together.”</p><p>“Nah, but that’s my point,” Idriss interrupts. He’s forced to pause as their breakfasts arrive and are placed on the table before them. They’ve each chosen various healthy options. Eliott with his yogurt and granola, Idriss with an egg white omelette with toast, and a fruit smoothie on the side, Sofiane with some sort of egg and vegetable breakfast wrap with fruit on the side. Lucas would be so disappointed in all of them. The thought makes Eliott smile. “See!” Idriss crows from across the table, attracting Eliott’s attention. “You’re doing that dreamy, smiley thing. You do that all the time now. You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, avoiding answering by teasing Idriss instead. “Did you just call me dreamy?”</p><p>“He did,” Sofiane agrees as he takes a sizable bite out of his wrap.</p><p>Idriss sighs, doing a very effective impression of a father completely fed up with his misbehaving children. “I was making a point.”</p><p>“That I’m dreamy?” Eliott asks with a sardonic smile, picking up his spoon to dive into his own breakfast.</p><p>“Oh!” Idriss exclaims just as he’s shoveled a large piece of omelette in his mouth. “What Sof said.”</p><p>“What’d I say?” Sofiane asks, looking a lot like he’s just been accused of some malicious wrongdoing.</p><p>“Are you two together?”</p><p>Eliott and Sofiane turn to look at one another, identical expressions of total and utter confusion painted across their face.  </p><p> “Uhhh…”</p><p>“Fuck,” Idriss groans. “I feel like I’m in an episode of New Girl.”</p><p>“I love that show!” Eliott chirps.</p><p>“Yeah, I know that, you dumbass,” Idriss snorts. “I’m saying you two are sitcom dumb. Are you and <em>Lucas </em>together? Official like?”</p><p>“Oh.” The question has captured Sofiane’s attention too and he and Idriss’s eyes rest on Eliott. “Um… well…”</p><p>“You seriously spent a weekend together at your <em>parent’s place </em>and didn’t talk about it?” Idriss sighs, taking out his frustration on the omelette he cuts on his plate.</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees. “We did. We talked a lot. Honestly, it was… like, the best weekend of my life.”</p><p>“Wow.” Sofiane’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “That’s a pretty big statement. Was it the same for him?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott nods. “Or, I mean, I think so. It’s as intense for him – when we’re together. You know when I said…” Sofiane nods, seeming to recall the conversation Eliott is referencing. “He feels it too. I’m sure of it.”</p><p>“Can’t say I’m surprised,” Sofiane responds with a gentle smile. “You two are pretty sweet together.”</p><p>“Hold up though,” Idriss interjects. “You’re not just talking intense like…” He looks a little apologetic as he says the next bit, “‘cause the sex is…”  </p><p>“No,” Eliott denies sharply, before that cruel niggle of doubt in his brain decides to make itself known. “Or…” He drops his eyes to his yogurt, twisting his spoon in the mixture. “I don’t think so.”</p><p>“Hey,” Idriss’s hand is suddenly landing on Eliott’s, rubbing soothingly against the back, “I’m not trying to be a buzzkill. Sorry, bro. You’re just… different with him. No – <em>he’s </em>different… <em>to</em> you.” Idriss looks to Sofiane. “We’ve seen you with a lot of people. But with Lucas…”</p><p>Sofiane finishes his sentence for him. “You seem really into him.”</p><p>“I’m in love with him.” He hadn’t intended on saying it – hadn’t even spoken it outside the privacy of his own head yet. But it feels right to say it now – to his best friends. It’s terrifying and thrilling all at once. He takes a deep breath, sitting up a little straighter as the truth of the statement fills him with confidence. “I am.”</p><p>“Wow,” Sofiane speaks into the silence. “That’s um… damn, Eliott.” He smiles and Eliott mirrors it. “I’m really happy for you.”</p><p>“Shit,” Idriss adds in with a chuckle, pulling back his hand as he leans back with a shake of his head. “Knew that kid would get ya. Lovable little fucker.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Yeah.”</p><p>They settle into a comfortable silence as they each go about eating their meals, seemingly lost in their own thoughts.</p><p>“Will you tell him?” Sofiane asks gently into the silence.</p><p>Eliott looks instinctually towards Idriss, to see his best friend’s eyes are already on him, his expression disconcertingly serious and maybe even… a little concerned? It unnerves Eliott more than the question itself.</p><p>He looks away, back to Sofiane, mustering up the closest thing he can find to a smile even as his stomach roils. “Yeah. I’ll tell him.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Yann’s voice is the first thing Eliott hears as he enters the locker room. Eliott smiles, dropping his bag on the bench before he makes his way around the lockers. Where there is Yann, there is likely Lucas.</p><p>“It’s just a weird coincidence, bro,” Yann is saying. “I don’t think there’s more to it than that.”</p><p>“I know.” <em>Yes</em>! There’s Lucas’s voice… though he doesn’t sound happy. The two come into view just as Lucas continues. “Just another ‘fuck you’ from the universe, I guess.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “What is?”</p><p>Lucas’s head jerks up and towards him. “Fuck. How can you be such a fucking klutzy giraffe and still be so quiet?!”</p><p>“I’m not klutzy!” Eliott immediately argues. “Or a giraffe.”</p><p>“Damn, he is kinda giraffe-like, isn’t he?” Yann says to Lucas, ignoring Eliott’s words entirely.</p><p>“Right?” Lucas grins.</p><p>Eliott decides to ignore them and get back to the topic at hand. “What were you talking about? Why’d you say the universe is fucking you over?” He walks forward to position himself leaning on the lockers, closer to Lucas.</p><p>“Uh…” Lucas looks over to Yann and the two have a quick, silent conversation.</p><p>“I’m gonna go check in with Mika,” Yann says, swinging around the shut his locker. “I’ll catch you guys later.” He smiles at them both, squeezing Lucas briefly at the back of the neck before he disappears around the lockers and they can hear the door to the hall swinging shut behind him.</p><p>Eliott immediately moves closer, reaching a hand to cup Lucas’s face. “What’s going on?”</p><p>Lucas freezes, seemingly shocked by Eliott’s proximity and touch before his face softens and his muscles unlock. He moves his hands to Eliott’s stomach to tug at his shirt, eyes dropping as he speaks with a sort of exhaustion Eliott wouldn’t have expected from his voice considering the day has only just begun.</p><p>“Jeremy’s doing the surgery with Moreau.”</p><p>Both names cause such a flurry of negative emotion to fill Eliott’s chest, it takes him a moment to understand the context with which they were spoken. Lucas looks up at him in the ensuing silence, trepidation clear.</p><p>“Alright,” Eliott begins, scrambling to compose his thoughts. Every time Moreau has come up between them it’s ended in an argument that has provided no greater context or answers. Granted Eliott can’t exactly complain about how things turned out the last time they’d fought – Idriss maybe for their chosen locale – but Eliott can’t say he didn’t enjoy the way they’d worked out their mutual frustration. But things are different between them now – Eliott <em>knows </em>they are – and he’d prefer a more productive conversation that doesn’t result in them wanting to tear one another’s heads off, especially when it’s not about to garner the same results. “And you’re… upset?”</p><p>Lucas releases his hold, turning out of Eliott’s touch and towards his locker. He busies himself pulling out his scrubs and shoes.</p><p>“It’s just a little fucked, I guess. Feel sometimes like the universe is messing with me.”</p><p>“Do you know… did Jeremy request it?” Eliott watches him carefully but Lucas seems determined not to meet Eliott’s eye.</p><p>“Doubt it.” Lucas pulls his scrubs top over his long-sleeved t-shirt. “Or… I don’t know. Maybe.”</p><p>Eliott can’t help but wonder how much Jeremy knows. He and Lucas certainly never seemed close – nothing more than that… one time. But then… the dots just aren’t connecting here and Eliott can’t totally sort out the connection or why it would upset Lucas. Unless it’s simply that Lucas has been with them both. Moreau and Jeremy. “Does he know? About… Moreau?”</p><p>“Know what?” Lucas jaw tightens and he reaches for the waistband of his sweatpants, pushing them down to leave him in nothing but his briefs. He doesn’t immediately reach for his scrub pants, and Eliott does his best not to be fooled by this tactic.</p><p>“Lucas…”</p><p>Lucas blows out a frustrated breath, turning and stepping back into Eliott’s space. “No really – what?!” There’s a wave of anger rolling off him and Eliott knows Lucas intends for him to drown in the salty water. “That I fucked Moreau to get into the program,” Lucas bites, nostrils flaring. “That you caught us together? That everything I earn – it’s ‘cause of him. That I couldn’t do the surgery because I was worried everyone would find out? Tell him that? Or were you hoping to tell him yourself?”</p><p>Eliott can feel it – that rising heat that makes him want to fight back, that quicksand he can see before him and the way his legs want to carry on in their trajectory forward just the same. He moves hands to Lucas’s face instead. Lucas startles, jerking slightly in Eliott’s hold with eyes widening in surprise, but he doesn’t pull back. Eliott strokes thumbs gently up and down Lucas’s cheekbones.</p><p>“I don’t think that,” Eliott says, voice quiet and calm. Lucas makes a move as though to pull his face away and Eliott tightens his hold. “No one thinks that.” Lucas doesn’t say anything, face a mask of stubborn indignation – a cover for what is obviously deep-seated insecurity and fear. “Listen to me,” Eliott continues, “Moreau is a douchenozzle.”</p><p>Lucas’s lips twitch. “A douchenozzle?”</p><p>“Yes.” Eliott nods, keeping his expression serious. He means it after all. “And Jeremy’s an even bigger douchenozzle.”</p><p>Lucas huffs a breath like laughter. “No, he’s not. Jeremy’s nice.”</p><p>“A douchenozzle,” Eliott repeats, frowning stubbornly.</p><p>Lucas’s teeth peek through as he smiles now. “You’re just saying that because I slept with him.”</p><p>“Yes. But I’m right,” Eliott insists. “So, Moreau chose him for the surgery. Seems a perfect fit to me. Moreau can teach him how to become the best douchenozzle he can be.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas laughs, smile bright. “Stop saying douchenozzle.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott pouts. “It fits. You have to admit that it fits.”</p><p>Lucas sighs and one of his hands moves up to weave through the strands of Eliott’s hair, scratching lightly at his scalp. “You’re an idiot.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees easily, tone turning more serious. “Lucas, whenever you’re ready – <em>if </em>you’re ever ready – to tell me… about Moreau… about what happened with him,” Lucas’s expression drops and Eliott rushes to continue, “I’ll listen. I won’t judge. I promise. I just want you to be ok – to be – to be safe.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes soften. “I know.” He swallows. “But what if you… think differently of me? Think… worse.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott chuckles softly, “we started this internship thinking the worst of one another.” He moves a hand up to brush back soft strands of Lucas’s hair. “There’s no going back now.”</p><p>“You promise?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott smiles. “I promise.”</p><p>A number of other voices enter the locker room. Lucas releases his hold on Eliott, making a move to back away. Eliott pulls him in before he’s able, pressing a hard kiss to Lucas’s mouth, releasing him just as Lucas begins to respond. Eliott takes a step back as a couple of intern’s he doesn’t know particularly well move to lockers at the end of row. They glance at Lucas and Eliott briefly before continuing their discussion.</p><p>“I’m gonna go get ready,” Eliott says quietly. “I’ll see you later, ok?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Yeah.” His smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes.</p><p>“And hey,” Eliott adds, “don’t let the douchenozzles get you down.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, but his smile crinkles the corners of his eyes. “Shut up.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Mika’s arm lands on Eliott’s shoulder just as he’s exiting a patient’s room a little after what would have been lunch, had Eliott had time to stop for anything more than a vending machine granola bar.</p><p>“How’re things going, Demaury?”</p><p>Eliott turns to look at him oddly as they continue down the hall. “I just saw you an hour ago.”</p><p>“Yes, but,” Mika drops his arm from Eliott’s shoulders, pulling him to a stop instead, “other people were there. Now I’m asking you <em>how are things going?</em>”</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment. “Uh… fine. I did the pre-op with Mrs. Jeffries, and the bloodwork for–”</p><p>“Oh my good god,” Mika cuts him off. “You are denser than a brick in water. You know I follow you on Insta, right?”</p><p><em>Oh</em>. “Ok.”</p><p>“Ok?!” Mika immediately smacks Eliott on the side of the head. A light smack but still…</p><p>“Hey!” Eliott laughs, patting at his hair. “Pretty sure residents aren’t supposed to physically assault their interns.”</p><p>“Oh shut up,” Mika scoffs. “You went away with him. You took him to your parent's house!”</p><p>“Was that… a question?”</p><p>“Are you looking for another slap?”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “He didn’t have plans for the weekend, so he came with me.”</p><p>“Oh sure.” Mika nods with mock seriousness. “One day hating one another, the next inviting him home.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”</p><p>“You’re really not going to give me any details.”</p><p>“You want details, ask Lucas.”</p><p>Mika gives him a look of supreme dissatisfaction, both of them knowing exactly how Lucas would respond to such questions. “I understand why he hates you.”</p><p>“He doesn’t hate me.”</p><p>Mika looks him up and down. “This new cocky, getting-laid-regularly-by-one-Lucas-Lallemant you? Not a fan.”</p><p>Eliott is about to respond when the sound of Dr. Millet calling his name as he approaches behind Mika distracts them both.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury,” Millet says with a friendly smile. He notices Mika. “Oh, I’m sorry, Dr. Dolleron. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”</p><p>“That’s perfectly fine, Dr. Millet,” Mika responds, his professional demeanor firmly back in place. “Dr. Demaury and I are going to finish up later.” One last look at Eliott – <em>loaded </em>with meaning – and he departs down the hall.</p><p>“Dr. Millet,” Eliott nods, “what can I do for you?”</p><p>“I have an interesting case this week. A laminectomy. You’re familiar?”</p><p>“Decompression surgery?” Eliott answers carefully, desperately attempting to recall what he knows of the procedure. “Removing the lamina to relieve pressure on the spinal cord and nerves?” He states it more as a question than a statement and Millet nods.</p><p>“And the reason I’d be doing so?”</p><p>“Um… due to… bony overgrowths on the spine in most cases, I think. Usually seen in older patients, such as those suffering from arthritis.”</p><p>“Good.” Millet nods satisfied. “Be confident in your answers, Dr. Demaury, especially when they’re correct.”</p><p>“Yes, I – sorry.”</p><p>Millet laughs. “And stop apologizing for yourself.” He raises a hand when Eliott opens his mouth once more – thankfully saving Eliott from what was likely to be another apology. “I’m hoping to keep it minimally invasive, but it should still be an interesting procedure, nonetheless. I’d like you to handle the patient for me and scrub in.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth parts in surprise. That’s… a very exciting offer. But there’s that feeling is again… that somewhat ridiculous feeling… a little like dancing with Clara all over again… like he’s leading someone on. “That… that would be amazing.”  </p><p>“Excellent.” Millet smiles and makes a move to leave.</p><p>“Dr. Millet,” Eliott says quickly, stopping him. He swallows nervously as Millet turns back to give Eliott his attention, perhaps a little impatient with it. “I feel like I should maybe tell you – I just feel it would be a little unfair if I didn’t – I’m not…” He exhales heavily, saying the rest in a rush. “I’m not planning on specializing in orthopedics. I don’t want to take advantage of your kindness when there could be other interns far more interested in the field and –”</p><p>“Eliott.” The sound of Eliott’s first name silences him immediately. Millet moves a hand to squeeze Eliott’s bicep before dropping it, his expression amused. “I’m flattered you think I’d be so kind, but make no mistake, this is not me doing you a favour. I see great potential in you. And perhaps this <em>is </em>me flattering myself, but I see a lot of me in you.”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “You do?”</p><p>“Yes, and I’d like to mentor you. That does not mean you must follow in my footsteps and specialty. Though,” he offers a slanted smile, “I’d be surprised if you don’t. But I won’t hold it against you if you ditch me for something flashier… peds or plastics maybe.”</p><p>Eliott laughs lightly. “I was thinking… um… neuro actually.”</p><p>“Ah,” Millet responds, eyebrows raised in surprise. “Well, listen, there’s time. You’re in your first year of this. You have plenty to go – a lot of time to figure it out. Don’t limit your options.” Eliott nods. “And in the meantime, let me snatch you up. You’ll be doing me a favour if nothing else. It’ll be a tremendous ego boost to mentor one of the most promising interns in the hospital.”</p><p>Eliott feels his face fill with heat, so incredibly flattered he can barely find words to respond. “Thank you. I’d – I’d very much like that.”</p><p>“Good then. That’s settled. I’ve left some material for you at the nurses station. I’d like you to review that and then we’ll touch base again.”</p><p>“Ok. I’ll do so right away.” The comradery of their conversation spurs Eliott to breach another topic he had no intention of bringing up prior. “Dr. Millet, do all the attendings take on mentoring interns?”</p><p>Millet offers a partial shrug. “We’re encouraged to do so. That doesn’t necessarily mean every doctor will, however.”</p><p>“What about… Dr. Moreau?” Eliott drops his voice slightly, glancing furtively around them though no one nearby seems to be listening to their conversation.</p><p>“Moreau?” Millet’s eyebrows scale his forehead. “Do I have competition then?”</p><p>“No!” Eliott answers, too quickly and far too adamantly. “I mean… no. Uh, we don’t… particularly get along.” It’s not an entirely accurate statement. Moreau can barely remember Eliott’s name, and they’ve never spent long enough in conversation to truly butt heads, but saying <em>I hate that fucker’s guts</em> doesn’t seem like a viable option.</p><p>“Ah.” Millet chuckles. “Well that makes more sense.”</p><p>“It does?”</p><p>“Moreau is certainly a… challenging personality.” Eliott’s willing to bet those words coming from Millet are the equivalent to what ‘fucking asshole’ would be to someone else. Millet continues after a moment, “He’s a brilliant surgeon. Certainly one of the best in his field. But I do think it takes a particular type of person to mesh well with him.”</p><p>“And… he mentors interns as well?”</p><p>Millet’s eyebrows pull together. “I’m not sure. Why do you ask?”</p><p>There’s a cold sweat at the back of Eliott’s neck now but he continues carefully. “I’ve just noticed he’s shown… a great deal of interest in a friend of mine.”</p><p>Millet doesn’t look any less confused. “Well, perhaps he is then. I haven’t known Moreau to show any particular interest in interns, if I’m honest. He’s quite rigid in how he allocates his time and attention. But perhaps your friend shows potential he simply couldn’t ignore.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott deflates slightly. He’s not sure what he was looking for in bringing this up in conversation with Millet, but it seems the doctor has not picked up on Eliott’s unspoken concerns. “Well, thanks.”</p><p>“Sure.” Millet gives him a long considering look. “If you have more serious concerns with regards to Moreau’s conduct, we can have a private conversation about that. Somewhere more appropriate.” Perhaps Eliott spoke too soon.</p><p>He nods. “Thank you. I’ll – it’s not for me to – but, um, thanks.”</p><p>Millet pats him on the shoulder and turns, disappearing around a corner. Eliott sighs, somehow both bolstered and discouraged. He meant what he said to Lucas – Eliott wants him <em>safe</em>. And even with next to no knowledge of the situation or what happened between the two of them, it’s feeling more and more clear that as long as Moreau is around – as long as he’s around <em>Lucas</em> – that simply isn’t the case. But it’s also not Eliott’s situation to fix. He knows that too.</p><p>He just wishes Lucas would talk to him.</p><p>He wishes he knew how to help.</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>“You’re here early,” Idriss greets, as Eliott approaches the nurses station, surprised to see Manon standing at the counter.</p><p>“Yeah, so are you,” Eliott responds, having not expected to see Idriss at this hour in the morning, never mind Manon.</p><p>“Short staffed,” Idriss explains. “Had to switch up the schedule a bit this week. I covered night shift. Just getting off now.”</p><p>“I’m taking him for breakfast,” Manon adds, leaning into Idriss’s side when he rounds the counter to join her.</p><p>“Oh, nice.” Eliott gestures to the folder in his hand, dropping it onto the desk. “The files Millet left me. Is it alright if I leave them here?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss nods. “I’ll put ‘em away before I go.”</p><p>“Thanks.” Eliott taps his fingers against his thighs as he looks between them, eyes finally landing on Manon. “Did you come alone or…”</p><p>She laughs softly. “No. He’s down with the kids.”</p><p>“Who? Lucas?” Idriss asks, eyes bouncing between them. “What kids?”</p><p>“Uh.” Eliott looks to Manon, unsure whether this is information Lucas would be comfortable with him sharing. She answers and Eliott relaxes, knowing Manon would not do so unless she felt Lucas would approve.</p><p>“Lucas visits the kids in the cancer ward most days before or after shift. He likes to hang out and read to them.”</p><p>Idriss laughs incredulously, moving an arm around Manon’s shoulders as he turns to look at Eliott. “You really are fucked, aren’t you?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, turning to leave without another word. It’s hardly a question that needs answering. Anyone who has met both Lucas and Eliott would have to know one Lucas Lallemant was made to bring Eliott to his knees – literally and figuratively.</p><p>As it’s still quite early in the morning, it’s not a crowd of children awake and watching Lucas raptly as he reads a story as it had been the last time Eliott had found him here. Instead when he locates Lucas, he’s with one particular child. It looks like he’s just wrapped up a story – or no, a chapter in a book. He bookmarks a page and places the book into the drawer next to the child’s bed. Their voices become clear when Eliott stops to lean up against the edge of the door into the room.</p><p>“Have you been there?” The young boy asks.</p><p>“To the Amazon?” Lucas shakes his head. “I haven’t traveled too much. I’d like to go though.”</p><p>“Me too.” A serious look overcomes the boys face, having the effect of instantly aging him beyond his years. “Do you think I will?”</p><p>“Sure,” Lucas responds immediately. “If you want to.”</p><p>“But what if –”</p><p>“You will,” Lucas cuts him off. “I know being in the hospital is scary but you’re gonna be fine, alright? Your prognosis is good. And then you’ll grow up, be rich and famous, and travel wherever you want, ok?”</p><p>The boy giggles. “I’m gonna be more famous then you.”</p><p>“‘Course you are,” Lucas says, ruffling his hair. “That’s why we took that selfie. I’m gonna sell it for millions later.”</p><p>“I’m still gonna be richer.” The boy’s smile is stretched wide across his face and he looks at Lucas like he’s never seen anything better in his life. Eliott can more than relate.</p><p>“Alright. Don’t rub it in,” Lucas laughs. “I’ll see you later. Be nicer to your mom.”</p><p>The boy huffs. “I know, I know.”</p><p>When Lucas turns and sees Eliott at the door, his cheeks flush to a pretty pink and he smiles. “Got a thing about creeping on me, don’t you?” He says as he walks past Eliott, into the hall.</p><p>“Was being pretty obvious about it actually,” Eliott points out with a grin as he follows Lucas.</p><p>“What are you doing here, anyways?” Lucas asks, glancing over at him, looking like he has a pretty good idea. There’s one thing he won’t expect though.</p><p>“I brought you this.” Eliott produces the book from his side.</p><p>Lucas stops walking, turning towards him and reaching for it. “The Little Prince?”</p><p>“Told you I’d give you my copy.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you said it was –” Lucas looks up from the book. “You got this when we were at your parent's? You didn’t say anything.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, shoving his hands in his pockets with a grin. “Wanted it to be a surprise. Thought I’d be early enough this morning but…”</p><p>“Yeah, uh, it’s too early a shift today. Most of the kids are still sleeping.”</p><p>“Next time then. Maybe I can come?”</p><p>“You want to?”</p><p>Eliott nods, smiling at the sweet surprise on Lucas’s face. “Mmhmm. There’s, um,” he points at the book, “a message – like, I wrote in it.”</p><p>“Defacing literature, average?! Tsk tsk,” Lucas teases, opening the book and flipping a couple pages until he finds the title page with Eliott’s writing. He reads, running fingers across the words before he looks back up, a familiar intensity to his eyes, though Eliott’s more familiar with seeing it when they’re fighting. He doesn’t think they’re fighting… are they?</p><p>“Do you… like it?” He asks, a little uncertain.</p><p>Lucas exhales heavily, looking back down at the book as he shakes his head. “God, you’re an asshole.” And then he’s walking past Eliott and away. Eliott’s heart drops but he hurries to follow.</p><p>“Lucas?”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t say anything, hurrying just a step ahead of Eliott as he leads the way out of the ward, until suddenly he’s veering sideways and into an empty room. It’s an empty patient room though it doesn’t appear to have been used in some time. The curtains over the window are partially drawn, casting the room in a hazy light that bounces off the dust particles in the air. The beds are without sheets, and a number of tools sit on the bed closest to the door, the tile on the roof above it, partially removed.</p><p>Lucas walks to the far bed, stopping at the end of it with one hand gripping the frame, back to Eliott. He places the book on the shelf protruding from the wall as he turns around, biting his lower lip. Eliott approaches cautiously.</p><p>“Lucas–” His voice cracks and he takes a steadying breath, stopping as he reaches the end of the bed but leaving space between them. “I’m sorry if – if that was too much, or – I know we’re not –”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas laughs – <em>laughs</em>. He’s laughing? It feels as though every muscle in Eliott’s body uncoils simultaneously. The relief is overwhelming. “I’m not mad, you idiot.”</p><p>“No?” Eliott smiles, a little wobbly with it.</p><p>“No,” Lucas says around an exhale. He steps back and then he’s… <em>oh fuck Eliott sideways</em>… he’s stripping himself of his shirts.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott gasps, overcome. He’d say more but Lucas is reaching for the waistband of his pants. He pushes it down slightly, thumbs hooking in the band of his briefs. Eliott turns to look towards the door panicked. There’s only a thin slot of a window but if someone were to stop and look in, they’d have a clear view of them both. He turns back just as Lucas begins pushing down both items of clothing. Eliott yelps, reaching for the curtain and swinging it around them on Eliott’s side of the bed. He reaches to move it around behind Lucas, unintentionally bringing Lucas into the bracket of his arms as he does so. He freezes as he realizes he now has a very naked Lucas pressed up against him.</p><p>“Well that works,” Lucas snickers, hands moving to edge of Eliott’s scrubs shirt and under.</p><p>“Lucas!” Eliott hisses, grabbing his hands though he allows them to stay pressed against his bare abs. “We’re – we’re in a hospital room.”</p><p>“Mmm.” Lucas grins up at him, inching his fingers higher on Eliott’s chest. “We are.”</p><p>“We could – we could –” Lucas’s fingers reach Eliott’s nipples, circling the sensitive nubs. “Someone could come in,” Eliott breathes, but he lets Lucas push his shirt up, raising his arms until it’s falling to the bed beside them.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, pressing a kiss to one of Eliott’s nipples before flicking it with his tongue. He tips his head back, his smile sweetly innocent. “Someone could.” He reaches for the edge of Eliott’s pants.</p><p>Eliott grabs his wrists. “But it’s… the morning.” Ok as reasons go to try to talk himself out of this… that was maybe not his best effort.</p><p>Lucas snorts. “You slotted in fucking me mid-afternoon or something?”</p><p>“Fucking you?!” Eliott chokes. “Lucas, I can’t…” He drops his voice, “<em>fuck</em> you here.”</p><p>“No?” Lucas’s hand slips down the front of Eliott’s pants, until he’s gripping Eliott’s rapidly hardening dick in a warm fist. “Sure feels like you can.” He moves it up the length in a dry, spine-tingling slide, thumbing at the tip. “Feels a lot like you want to.”</p><p>“<em>God</em>.” Eliott tips forward, knocking his forehead into Lucas’s and resting it there as he breathes. “What are you doing to me?”</p><p>Lucas laughs softly, breath warm against Eliott’s lips. “Think it’s more what you’re gonna do to me actually. Eli,” he sighs, tilting to press their lips together in the briefest, softest of kisses, “laid on my bed this morning thinking about you – <em>god</em>, thinking about what it feels like with you inside me.” His hand tightens around the head of Eliott’s cock.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott groans, moving hands up to thread through the hair at the back of Lucas’s head. “Did you touch yourself?”</p><p>“Yes.” Lucas is breathing in quick pants, like they’re already fucking. And Eliott realizes, he is too. They’re both so far gone already. “Opened myself up for you.”</p><p>A violent shudder runs through Eliott’s body. “Yeah?” His hips have begun moving, fucking up into Lucas’s hand in short, sharp movements he doesn’t bother to control. “You fuck yourself?”</p><p>“Uh hunh,” Lucas responds. His free hand is at Eliott’s waist, opening and closing restlessly against the skin.</p><p>“With your fingers?”</p><p>“Yeah, and…”</p><p>“And?” Eliott prompts, feeling nearly lightheaded with how quickly blood has rushed down to his cock which throbs in Lucas’s hold.</p><p>“My dildo,” Lucas whispers. “It’s not enough. Never feels like enough anymore.”</p><p>“Did you come?” Eliott moves a hand down, gliding it over Lucas’s ass, until he can slip in between Lucas’s ass cheeks, fingers seeking.</p><p>Lucas whines, pressing back against Eliott’s fingers when they find his hole, circling the rim. “Yeah, but – <em>Eliott </em>– doesn’t feel the same. Need you. Please. Baby. Please.”</p><p><em>Baby</em>.</p><p>Eliott wrenches out of Lucas’s hold, reaching for his waistband with frantic movements. He rids himself of his pants and briefs, and reaches immediately for Lucas, pulling him into a bruising kiss. It’s obvious neither of them have the patience for further foreplay or teasing, and Eliott manhandles Lucas backwards until they’re at the side of the bed. He rips his mouth away.</p><p>“How do you want it?”</p><p>Lucas stares up at him dazed for a moment before he understands the question. He turns, kneeling up on to the bed, and then stays there like that, on his hands and knees, perfect hole on display.</p><p>“Oh god,” Eliott croaks. “Lube, baby? Condom?” Eliott sure didn’t come prepared for spontaneous sex, but he hopes the fuck Lucas did.</p><p>“Pants. In my pocket,” Lucas pants.</p><p>Eliott swings around and grabs what he hopes are pants, rooting through the pockets to produce… his own phone? Fuck. He tosses the phone on the bed, reaching instead for Lucas’s pants and quickly retrieving the needed items.</p><p>When he presses one slick finger into Lucas, it sinks in easily. “Jesus,” Eliott groans, thinking of Lucas opening himself up in bed that very morning, fucking himself on a dildo and whining in frustration when it wasn’t enough – when it wasn’t <em>Eliott</em>.</p><p>He makes quick work of prepping Lucas. It takes very little, as he’s still stretched and slightly slick from his morning exploits. Eliott retrieves the condom, sliding it down his erection and lubing himself up, as Lucas strains to watch him over his shoulder.</p><p>“God,” Eliott groans, holding his cock in a firm grasp as he presses the tip against Lucas, “I’m not gonna last.” He hates to admit it. Hates it especially because Lucas is absolutely right when it comes to his teasing Eliott for his stamina – or lack there of. How he’s ever managed to fuck Lucas to satisfaction he doesn’t know. It feels like a miracle every time.</p><p>“Doesn’t matter,” Lucas pants, moving down to his elbows on the bed. “Doesn’t matter. You can come. Just fuck me. Please. Fuck me.”</p><p>Eliott pushes in with one long, hard thrust, sinking until his pelvic bone presses against Lucas’s ass. Lucas moans, <em>loudly</em>, hands tightening on the edge of the mattress.</p><p>“Sssshhhh,” Eliott hushes him, gripping tightly to his hips as he pulls out until only the tip of his cock remains, the swollen head tugging at Lucas’s rim. “Anyone could find us.”</p><p>This statement seems to get to Lucas even more. He whines desperately and one arm stretches back to scratch at Eliott’s hip until Eliott gives in, slamming back into him. They both grunt with the impact. Lucas’s hand disappears beneath his body, his motions as he jerks himself off obvious despite it being out of line of sight. Eliott suddenly wishes desperately he could see – could watch Lucas’s face as he touched himself, could watch his face as he came. But this position has its benefits too. Eliott stares down as he pulls his slick cock from Lucas’s body, marveling at the way Lucas’s body stretches around his girth. He slides a hand from Lucas’s hip to the plump, meat of his ass cheek instead, pulling and stretching him wider, before thrusting back in.</p><p>Eliott builds a pace, slow but rough. It seems to be what Lucas wants. He grunts beneath Eliott with each impact, the hand on his cock increasing its tempo. And Eliott has a moment of thinking he’ll manage to hold out until Lucas has come – that maybe he has more self control than he thinks. That’s when the door to the room opens.</p><p>Eliott freezes, breath caught in his throat, every muscle locked.</p><p>There’s giggling. A man’s voice and then a woman’s. Her voice is vaguely familiar though there doesn’t seem to be enough blood in Eliott’s brain to supply a name.</p><p>“You’re bad!” She giggles, and then the sound of kissing.</p><p>Eliott exhales shakily, as silently as possible, staring wide eyed as Lucas turns to look over his shoulder. Only the look on Lucas’s face isn’t what he expected. It’s neither fear nor horror. He’s… smirking. <em>Oh no</em>. Eliott tightens his hold on Lucas’s hips but it’s of no use. Lucas rocks his body backwards, shoving Eliott’s cock deeper inside him. His eyes flutter closed, and he drops his head down to his hands, rocking forward and then back once more. Eliott keeps his body frozen in place, but it still feels too fucking good. And he can’t – he <em>won’t </em>come like this – with other people in the room. But they show no signs of leaving.</p><p>“Always know what I like, don’t you?” The man groans.</p><p>Eliott’s phone glints on the bed and he has an idea. A potentially terrible idea but he needs to see who is in here with them… what exactly they’re doing… and exactly how fucked he and Lucas are… metaphorically speaking. Eliott reaches for Lucas’s shoulder, pulling him firmly back against Eliott’s body and holding him there. It has the side-effect of pressing Eliott’s cock deeply into Lucas’s body, the grip tight and warm in perfect heat, but it stops Lucas’s rocking motions. Eliott reaches for his phone and straightens slightly. He makes a move to pull back and out of Lucas’s body, when Lucas’s hand is suddenly landing on Eliott’s hip, stretching back towards his ass with fingernails digging into the flesh. His message is clear. He has turned his head, his expression fierce. And god, he’s the biggest fucking brat in the world. Eliott wants to fuck him <em>so goddamn hard</em>.</p><p>He inhales deeply instead, flicking his phone camera on and stretching an arm towards the curtain. Lucas watches curiously, fingers still biting into Eliott’s ass. Eliott can just manage to reach, moving the phone until the top of it just peeks around the curtain. There are noises coming from the man and woman in the room, but it’s hard to tell whether this is in illicit makeout session, or something more. Eliott takes a picture and pulls the camera back to himself. The picture shows them only partially, the angle somewhat off. But Eliott recognizes the woman. It’s Laura. The nurse he’s chatted with on a semi-regular basis. And Eliott is guessing the man pressing her up against the wall is the boyfriend she’s spoken about on more than one occasion. The picture does not further illuminate the situation. It’s impossible to tell whether things have remained PG or they’ve gone for something a bit more R-rated. With his cock currently inside Lucas’s ass, he certainly can’t judge them for whatever they are currently doing. He deletes the picture, when a loud buzzing sound is abruptly heard over the sound of their kissing. Laura swears.</p><p>“Shit. I need to go.”</p><p>“What?” Her boyfriend responds, sounding like he’s just been told he has a terminal disease. “No.”</p><p>“Babe, I’m sorry. I have to respond to this.” A smacking kiss. “I’ll make it up to you later.”</p><p>“I can’t go out there like this.”</p><p>She laughs. “Hold your jacket in front of you. No one will notice.”</p><p>A little more swearing, some serious grumbling, and the door is shutting behind them.</p><p>Lucas exhales heavily, giggling as he turns back to look at Eliott. “Well, that was –”</p><p>Eliott pulls out and slams back into him, the sound of their skin slapping together echoing in the room. The force of it lurches Lucas forward on the bed and he moans loudly.</p><p>“You fucking brat,” Eliott pants. “Could’a got us caught.”</p><p>“Ungh!” Lucas grunts as Eliott drives his cock back into him. “That was – was the point.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott reaches to toss his phone back on the bed, only Lucas turns slightly, taking it from his hands instead. “What’re you doing?” Eliott slurs, movements slowing.</p><p>“Said – you said –” Lucas’s voice stutters with his disjointed breath, “would be better – <em>fuck</em>,” he fumbles opening the camera, turning it on reverse so he can see himself, “better on video.” He hits record.</p><p>“Oh fuck.” Eliott’s hips jerk, and he pushes himself as deeply inside Lucas as possible, staying there as he struggles to control his breathing. “You – you sure?”</p><p>Lucas is struggling to hold the camera up, the slanted view only partially capturing his flushed face. “Yeah, just – ungh – take it. You – you do it.”</p><p>Eliott reaches for the phone immediately, not entirely certain he’ll be able to manage the dual task of fucking Lucas and recording them, but damn well willing to try. This hasn’t even been a fantasy of Eliott’s. The act of recording himself fucking someone always seemed somewhat daunting and unnecessary. He could never imagine watching it back. But this? This is Lucas. The thought of having this with him – Lucas trusting him with this – heightens the pleasure of the act to levels Eliott never would have expected.</p><p>Eliott straightens, angling the video down to where he withdraws his slick cock from Lucas’s body. “Gonna show you,” Eliott gasps, moving his free hand to his erection as he pulls it out completely, “how good you look,” He presses against Lucas’s hole, bringing the phone down to focus on the way Lucas’s body stretches to accommodate him, swallowing the head of his erection, “taking my cock.” He fucks into Lucas in shallow thrusts, hypnotized by the sight of his cock moving in and out of Lucas’s body through the view of the camera. It feels surreal, to be watching himself fuck Lucas even as he’s feeling the grip of Lucas’s body around him. When he’s fully seated, he directs the camera up the sweaty expanse of Lucas’s back, focusing on where his head hangs between his arms, face slightly turned to the side with eyes shut.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott manages between pants, continuing to fuck his dick in and out of Lucas’s body in rough, hard jabs, “open your eyes. Lucas – <em>unf</em> – look at me.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes open, dark and unfocused, they widen as he sees the phone focused on him. “Eliott,” he moans, body shuddering in Eliott’s hold. “Oh god.”</p><p>“Look so beautiful,” Eliott gasps, the camera jerking with the force of his thrusts. It’s frustrating though – their position. It limits Eliott’s ability to see – to film – Lucas’s face – to show them together. Eliott presses his cock deep in Lucas’s body, leaning forward enough to wrap an arm around Lucas’s chest, before pulling back, bringing Lucas with him. He stops when they’re vertical, with Lucas’s back pressed to his chest. One of Lucas’s hands stretches back, pulling at Eliott’s hair and bringing his face down until Eliott’s lips press to his cheek. His other holds tightly to Eliott’s arm. “That’s it,” Eliott encourages, stretching the camera out in front of them and reversing the view. “Look at us.” The sight of their own faces reflected back reminds Eliott a lot of the first time he’d been inside Lucas like this – in front of the mirror. Only now the view is up close, the effect of their pleasure written plainly across their flushed faces. Lucas seems mesmerized by the view, eyes locked on their figures on the screen.</p><p>Eliott does his best to keep his arm steady as he pulls almost entirely out of Lucas’s body, before fucking back in, grunting with the effort of doing so in one hard, fast thrust. Lucas sucks in a loud, almost panicked breath before releasing a garbled wail, too loud for their current setting, but Eliott finds he no longer cares. He knows that sound. Their position has changed the angle of his cock inside Lucas and he’s found his prostate. Eliott tightens his arm around Lucas’s body and does it again. Lucas’s body jerks in his hold, curling forward, held in position only by the strength of Eliott’s arm tight to his chest. Eliott’s barely able to concentrate on keeping the camera on them with his other. The most he’s able to do simply being to keep his arm extended before them. But he’s losing himself too now, the delay of his orgasm suddenly caught up to him. He shuts his eyes, burying his face in Lucas’s neck as he pulls out and slams into him once more. Lucas cries out, another strangled moan that sounds a lot like 'baby', and pulls viciously at Eliott’s hair as his body clamps down tightly and that’s it – that’s all it takes. It feels as though Eliott’s orgasm is being ripped from him by the pull of Lucas’s body. He drops the phone to the bed, both arms wrapping tightly around Lucas’s chest as he thrusts into him, letting the way Lucas’s body clenches around him milk his orgasm from him. He grunts with each release, letting it roll through him again and again, until he can’t anymore, until Lucas’s body has taken everything he has it in him to give.</p><p>Eliott pulls out, rolling to collapse with his back on the mattress next to Lucas. In his absence, Lucas falls forward onto his hands. His eyes are shut and there’s a tremor running through his body. His cock hangs, hard and swollen between his legs. Lucas reaches for it and Eliott speaks.</p><p>“Come here. Sit on me.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes open and he turns his head to look at Eliott. He doesn’t look like he comprehends what Eliott has just said.</p><p>Eliott musters the strength to pat a hand against his chest. “Come here. Straddle me. I’ll suck you.”</p><p><em>This</em> Lucas seems to understand. He shuffles sideways, moving with Eliott’s help until he’s seated on Eliott’s chest, knees bracketing Eliott’s neck and cock jutting hard and red just a whisper from Eliott’s lips. Eliott brings a hand to Lucas’s ass, pushing him forward until Lucas tips up slightly, allowing Eliott to press two fingers back into him. Lucas groans. He jerks forward and his cock bumps against Eliott’s mouth, smearing precum against his lips. Lucas brings a hand to his cock, stripping it with a frenzied abandon. Eliott opens his mouth, straining until he can get lips around the head of Lucas’s dick. He pumps his fingers into Lucas’s body as he sucks.</p><p>The position is awkward and not particularly comfortable but then, Lucas isn’t going to last long. His body is shaking and his face is scrunched with concentration, harsh pants escaping his open mouth as he drives closer and closer to orgasm. Eliott presses his tongue into the tip of his cock and Lucas’s eyes open, he sucks in a harsh breath and then he’s falling forward on one arm as he comes into Eliott’s mouth. Eliott removes his fingers from Lucas’s body, gripping his hip to hold him steady as Lucas shakes through his orgasm. He swallows the release Lucas leaves on his tongue. Lucas squeezes the last of it into Eliott’s mouth before he rolls to collapse on the mattress next to him. They lay there for a time, the only sounds in the room their harsh breathing as they both come down.</p><p>It’s as Eliott’s heartbeat is resembling something a bit closer to normal that Lucas speaks in a raspy whisper. “Is it still recording?”</p><p>“Oh fuck.” Eliott sits up to look for his phone, finding it face up on the bed next to them and indeed… still recording. Eliott presses stop, picking it up and turning to grin down at Lucas. “Yep.”</p><p>Lucas giggles, a sweet, happy smile stretching across his face. “Wow.”</p><p>“We did that,” Eliott says with a slightly hysterical laugh tacked on.</p><p>“It was hot,” Lucas whispers back, sitting up with hands propped behind him on the bed.</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott leans forward for a kiss and Lucas immediately curls into him, bringing his arms around Eliott’s neck to pull him closer as they enjoy a soft, gentle kiss, lips slanting back and forth as Eliott combs a hand through Lucas’s hair. Eliott laughs against his lips and Lucas pulls back with a grin.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“We fucked in the hospital.” Eliott laughs again, unable to contain the giddy, disbelief that comes with such a statement. “Like full on fucked. And there were other people in here. Did that really happen?”</p><p>Lucas snorts, one of his hands moving to play with Eliott’s hair. “It was just Laura. She always hooks up with her boyfriend in here when he brings her breakfast on Tuesdays.”</p><p>Eliott hums, moving in for another kiss before his brain catches up and interprets what Lucas just said. “Wait.” He pulls back, eyes wide. “You <em>knew </em>she’d come in here?!” Lucas shrugs, cheeky smile in place. Eliott cannot believe… “This was your plan. Did you want to get caught?”</p><p>“Nah,” Lucas denies easily. “Knew you’d make sure no one could see us. And they’re both pretty fucking dumb. Followed Laura in here and accidentally walked in on them a couple weeks back and they didn’t even notice.”</p><p>“So then… why?” Eliott really doesn’t know what to make of all this.</p><p>Lucas tips his face a little closer, eyes moving to Eliott’s lips. “Dunno,” he whispers. “Thought it would be hot. Wasn’t it?” There’s that uncharacteristic insecurity Lucas shows on rare occasion. It takes Eliott by surprise every time.</p><p>“Yes,” he laughs softly, pressing a quick kiss to Lucas’s lips. “Wasn’t too keen on the idea of coming inside you with someone else in the room but… yeah… that was really fucking hot.” Lucas smiles pleased. Eliott never would have guessed it. Lucas Lallemant has an exhibitionist streak. “So, nearly public sex does it for you, hunh?”</p><p>“I don’t know. I guess? Maybe. Sometimes.” It’s a genuine answer. It's clear that Lucas is figuring out his sexual likes and dislikes alongside Eliott. And Eliott can’t help but wonder how long Lucas had been having unsatisfying sex for. It’s a thrilling realization that it’s no longer a reality Lucas knows – no longer something he’ll ever face again – not with Eliott – and that Lucas knows it too. “Is that ok?” Lucas asks.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott chuckles. “Though I’m kicking your ass if you do this to me somewhere we can get caught again. Getting kicked out of a restaurant for fucking you in the bathroom is one thing. Getting caught by our bosses is another.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, looking a bit like a petulant teenager. “Fine.”</p><p>“Shit,” Eliott laughs again.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, mouth twitching into a smile at the sight of Eliott’s humour.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head as he looks at him, naked and crouched on the bed, in a deserted room in the hospital that employs them. “It’s just…” He grins, reaching to flick a stray strand of hair hanging down over Lucas’s forehead. “Vanilla my ass.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott bumps his shoulder into Lucas as they walk towards the front entrance of the hospital, grinning the moment Lucas looks over at him with faux-annoyance.</p><p>“Stop.”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. His attempt at being irritated shouldn’t be as cute as it is and yet… “Being all cute.” Well, at least the feeling is mutual.</p><p>“Can’t help it if you think I’m cute.”</p><p>“<em>You </em>think you’re cute.” Lucas looks away from him, calling out to Imane who is approaching from the opposite direction. “Imane!”</p><p>She looks up from her phone with a smile, and they all come to a stop in front of one another.</p><p>“Good morning,” she greets, quirking one eyebrow as she looks between them. “Coming in together?”</p><p>Lucas ignores the question. “Did you get that thing booked? The one I said?”</p><p>She nods. “Yep. You were right, I was overthinking it.”</p><p>“Did you just say I’m right?” Lucas grins. “Hang on I want to record this.”</p><p>“It was bound to happen one of these days,” she scoffs. “I can’t be right all the time. It’s a heavy burden.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas laughs.</p><p>Eliott looks between them. “What are you two planning? Why can’t I know? Is it a surprise party?”</p><p>“That’s why you can’t know,” Imane laughs. “At least not until the last minute. You’d give it all away.”</p><p>“I can keep secrets,” Eliott protests, turning a private smile on Lucas and slinging an arm around his shoulders to pull him closer.</p><p>Lucas snorts, wrapping an arm around Eliott’s back as he looks up at him. “This is you demonstrating how subtle and sneaky you are? Well done.” Perhaps he has a point there. But being secretive about the fact that he’s with Lucas, when all he wants to do is shout it in the face of everyone he sees, is not the best example of the subtlety he <em>is </em>capable of.</p><p>“You three are useless at keeping things from one another,” Imane adds, obviously referring to Eliott, Sofiane, and Idriss. “I’ll tell you when you need to know.”</p><p>Eliott pouts. “In other words, when you tell Sofiane.”</p><p>She laughs. “Pretty much.”</p><p>“<em>Good morning</em>,” another voice greets approaching from their side. Lucas tenses and Eliott turns his head to see Jeremy passing behind Imane. He slows, turning slightly as he looks between Eliott and Lucas. “Looking cozy. How sweet.” His smile is the most unkind Eliott has ever seen from Jeremy. He looks entirely unlike himself.</p><p>Eliott loosens his hold on Lucas, readying himself for the moment Lucas pushes him away. Only it never comes. Lucas tightens his grip at Eliott’s waist. The “good morning” he offers Jeremy back doesn’t resemble anything like confidence, but he doesn’t let go.</p><p>“You’re scheduled for Moreau’s surgery today?” Imane asks. “The one all the interns were competing for?”</p><p>Jeremy stops in his progress past them, turning to face them fully with a cocky smile. “Yep. Unheard of for a first year.”</p><p>Imane raises her eyebrows as though she’s impressed. Eliott knows her better than that. “Wow.” She smiles and Eliott is almost positive the pity he reads in it is intentional. “It’s unfortunate you weren’t awarded it based on your own merit. I’m sure it will be an interesting surgery nevertheless.”</p><p>Eliott only <em>just </em>manages to hold back his smile. Jeremy doesn’t seem to know what to make of this comment. He must realize the insult layered within, but the kindness of Imane’s smile makes it hard to take offense.</p><p>“Yes, uh, it will be.” With this, and one last lingering look at Lucas, he leaves, disappearing through the doors into the hospital.</p><p>“Imane.” There’s gentle reproach in Lucas’s tone, and he pulls out of Eliott’s hold, crossing his arms against his chest.</p><p>“What?” She turns back to them with a challenging glint in her eye. “He saw you with Eliott and decided to be a jealous little…”</p><p>“Douchenozzle!” Eliott provides happily.</p><p>“What?” Imane laughs.</p><p>“He wasn’t,” Lucas disagrees, ignoring Eliott in favour of getting his point across to Imane. “Or… maybe he was, but I kind of… jerked him around. I was really shitty to him. He’s just angry.”</p><p>“So?” Imane says, eyebrows pulling together. “Let him be angry on his own damn time. He still doesn’t get to talk to you like that.” Eliott has to say, he’s loving that it’s Imane saying these things. Eliott knows Lucas is a lot more likely to listen with it coming from her. If Eliott were to say the same Lucas would just accuse him of being jealous… which… is perhaps fair. “The both of you need to stop apologizing for not being into people who are into you.” Eliott startles at being included in this telling off. But Imane isn’t done. She’s gone full-on lecture mode and Eliott knows there’s no stopping her. “Neither of you were in committed relationships with other people. Neither of you made promises. They can judge you all they like but that’s on them. You didn’t do anything wrong.” Eliott isn’t so sure that’s true, at least where his own past actions are concerned. Trying to lose himself in Anna when he knew who he really wanted was Lucas, really wasn’t a fair choice – whether Anna had taken it in stride or not. And his actions with a certain peds nurse who’s now hellbent on his destruction definitely fell under the arena of ‘wrong’. But Eliott appreciates the message nonetheless, especially as it applies to Lucas.</p><p>Lucas doesn’t seem to agree, however. “No, but…” He blows out a frustrated breath, eyes darting to Eliott and away. “He asked me about Eliott, and I said…”</p><p>“What?” Eliott prompts, finding he’d very much like to know.</p><p>Lucas sighs, turning to look at Eliott, tipping his chin up defiantly. “I said you were an asshole and I wasn’t into you at all.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “And then he asked me for a threesome. Must have been really convincing.”</p><p>“OK!” Imane interrupts. “That is definitely my cue to leave.”</p><p>“I’m going with you,” Lucas says with one last unimpressed look directed Eliott’s way, turning to catch Imane as she begins walking away and linking arms with her.</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Oh, come on!” He jogs a few steps to catch up to them. “We have to be able to laugh about it!”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Mika catches them before they’ve even reached the locker room.</p><p>“Kittens! You’re not even changed. Demaury, hussle up.” He reaches to pull Eliott away from Lucas’s side, physically pushing him in the direction of the locker room.</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs, battling Mika’s hands. “We’re not even late. There’s plenty of time.”</p><p>“Yes, well, there’s plenty of time until there isn’t. Now run along!”</p><p>Confused, Eliott turns to Lucas to suggest they do as told, only, Lucas is watching Mika carefully. He doesn’t move to follow Eliott, and it seems clear now that Mika means to get Lucas alone. Why he couldn’t have just said that –</p><p>“<em>Lucas</em>.” A new voice approaching from behind Mika. Eliott looks towards it and sees an older doctor walking towards them. And while there are doctors Eliott is less than familiar with working in the hospital, Eliott is fairly certain he’s never seen this man before – not even in passing.</p><p>Eliott looks to Lucas to see his face has paled, his eyes wide and surprised – but this is not a happy surprise. “Who is h–”</p><p>“I’ll see you later,” Lucas says, his voice screaming finality. Eliott wants to protest but… now is clearly not the time. He nods, moving to leave, surprised when Mika turns to walk with him.</p><p>“Who was that, Mika?” Eliott asks when they’re a safe distance away, glancing back over his shoulder. The man’s back blocks Lucas from view.</p><p>Mika sighs. “Guess you’re going to find out eventually. <em>That </em>was the one and only Dr. Lallemant.”</p><p>“Lalle – that was Lucas’s dad?!” Eliott trips over his own feet in his rush to turn back, but Mika’s hand is latching to his arm, dragging him around the corner as they continue walking towards the locker room.</p><p>“The very one.”</p><p>“You know him?”</p><p>“Of him,” Mika explains. “He’d left the hospital before I ever started my surgical residency.”</p><p>“He used to work here?!”</p><p>Mika turns his face to scrutinize Eliott. “Yes. Do you two ever talk or do you just fuck?”</p><p>Eliott scowls. “Why would Lucas’s dad’s employment history have come up in conversation?”</p><p>“Hm.” Mika nods as though this has answered an entirely different question in his mind. “Well, he did. He’s back teaching a class for a couple of days.”</p><p>“What’s he like?”</p><p>“I think that’s a better question for your boyfriend.”</p><p>Eliott’s breath catches in his throat at the word, but… “He’s not my boyfriend.” Not yet.</p><p>“Not yet,” Mika says, echoing the words in Eliott’s head. “But it’s a question for him all the same. Now go get ready, I have all sorts of annoying tasks to take your mind off things.”</p><p>Eliott musters up a smile as he moves to the door of the locker room. “Ok.”</p><p>“And hey,” Mika adds, turning to smile back at him. “Don’t sweat it, sweetpea. Lucas is a big boy. Let him handle things on his own.”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>That’s the problem though. That’s all Eliott has ever done.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Lucas is not with the kids in the cancer ward before shift. Eliott had shown up extra early with the intention of finding him, but it is of no use. He can’t help but let his eyes linger on the door to the empty patient room they’d taken advantage of only a couple days prior. It already feels like a lifetime ago.</p><p>Eliott barely slept. He’d tried. He really had. But his brain would not shut up, offering a million scenarios for how Lucas was feeling, why he wouldn’t talk to Eliott, why it always felt like he was keeping secrets… how even as their relationship had changed… <em>that </em>had not.</p><p>And Eliott knows it’s bad – more extreme than it should be. It’s an instance he should probably be booking an additional appointment with his therapist, to at least acknowledge his building anxiety and ensure he’s dealing with it in the right ways. But Eliott knows he’s not – the lack of sleep, the obsessive thoughts, the skipped breakfast, his focus being on everyone but himself – and he’s not quite ready to be told that yet.</p><p>Having not found Lucas in the cancer ward means at the very least Eliott has time before shift to remedy the breakfast situation. He makes his way to the cafeteria and manages to find a yogurt and some fruit in the less-than-friendly-vegetarian offerings. After wasting as much time as he can tolerate, Eliott finds himself in the locker room, fiddling on his phone while he waits and others come and go. A check of the time tells him he’ll be late for shift unless he leaves now. He sighs and pulls out his phone to text Mika when the door to the locker room swings open and Lucas rushes in. He freezes at the sight of Eliott.</p><p>Eliott pushes off the bench to a stand, shoving nervous hands into his pockets. “Hey.”</p><p>“Hi.” Having gotten over the initial shock of seeing Eliott waiting for him, Lucas continues to his locker, throwing his bag in and sitting to change his shoes. He’s already in his scrubs. He must have changed elsewhere.</p><p>“How are you?” Eliott can feel himself hunching, shoulders collapsing into himself, but can’t quite help it.</p><p>“I’m ok.” Lucas looks up from his shoes with a slight smile and something inside Eliott unravels. “I’m sorry for being weird – about my dad and stuff.”</p><p>“That’s alright,” Eliott responds, a bit too eager. He moves to straddle the bench, sitting facing Lucas. “I understand things with parents. Really I do.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes on the ground in front of him. “I know.” He kicks his feet out in front of him while silence falls between them. “Your parents are good people though,” he says after a moment, looking up and meeting Eliott’s gaze. “My dad’s a lying, cheating sack of shit.” He says it so simply – so bluntly – it’s far more shocking than it would have been had he said such a thing in a fit of anger.</p><p>Eliott does his best to rein back his surprise, asking simply, “He is?”</p><p>Lucas considers him for a moment before his eyes drop back to stare down towards his feet. “Yeah. Thought he was so cool when I was a kid, you know? Like… my dad… the doctor.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott offers gently. “With my dad being a lawyer and all… ya… I know what you mean.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Then I got older and saw the way he treated my mom, saw the way he talked down to her, the way he could see something was wrong – I was a kid and I could see it – and he just didn’t care.” Once again, he doesn’t share any of this with anger. There’s a sad matter-of-fact quality to Lucas’s retelling. A resignation. “Fucking nurses in his office with my mom upstairs. With –” His voice cracks. The first show of his tenuous control on his emotions. “With me upstairs. I caught him, you know?” He glances up at Eliott with a grim smile. “A bunch of times. Different woman every time. I was so young I didn’t even really… I shouldn’t have seen that.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Eliott exhales, unable to stop himself from responding. “I’m so fucking sorry, Lucas.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Most of the time it doesn’t even feel like it was me. It’s like… I keep the memories at a distance. Then I see him again…”</p><p>“Is he… here because of you?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas denies, voice certain. “I don’t matter that much to him. Was just a convenient time to check in on me – make sure I’m holding up the family name and all that. Doing as he says – as he’s always said. Can’t have me embarrassing him.”</p><p>“What a fucking jackass,” Eliott blurts, cringing slightly when Lucas turns to him. “Sorry. I just mean –”</p><p>“He is.” Lucas smiles a little, an assurance that Eliott hasn’t said anything to upset Lucas. “He uses people. It’s never mattered what he had to do to make it to the top – who he has to crush.” His eyes are suddenly wide and earnest. “I don’t want to be like him. The guy who always puts himself first. The guy who would fuck over everyone he’s supposed to love just to… to get what he wants. Who doesn’t care who he hurts. The guy who lies and cheats.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott quickly intercedes, shifting closer on the bench and moving a hand to the back of Lucas’s neck, threading it through the hair there, “you’re not. I promise, you are not that person.” Lucas shakes his head, turning his face away. Eliott reaches with gentle fingers to pull it back until Lucas’s eyes meet his once more. “We thought the worst of one another, right? For months. You said I was always making assumptions about you – the worst kind of assumptions.” Lucas nods. “I still never thought that,” Eliott continues with a soft smile. “Because it’s not who you are. Even when I thought I hated you, I couldn’t have convinced myself you were anything like that – like your dad.”</p><p>“I think –” Lucas turns his body towards Eliott, his voice a whisper stripped bare. “I think I have been though. Not on purpose – I didn’t know – I never meant to – but I think… he made me like him. And I don’t know how to stop – how to get out of it now. I’m afraid you’ll hate me.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott cups his hand against Lucas’s face. “Lucas, no. I couldn’t. Ever. It doesn’t matter what’s happened – I could never hate you. Lucas, I –” Lucas’s phone buzzes loudly on the bench next to him, making them both jump. Lucas pulls out of his hold to turn to it. Eliott’s hands drop to his lap and he clasps them tightly to stop their shaking.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas groans. “It’s Mika.” He turns back to Eliott. “He’s gonna think we were – ugh – he’ll see us and think we were –”</p><p>“You go,” Eliott suggests. He needs a moment to collect himself after – after what he almost said. <em>I love you</em>. “Don’t tell him you were with me. Just – make an excuse. I’ll check in with him later – say I got caught up in something – forgot to check in.”</p><p>“You sure? You could go first, and I could –”</p><p>“Nah,” Eliott cuts him off. “You’re the one who’s always late. Let me take the brunt of it this time.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, hopping up and quickly pulling on his lap coat, shoving his phone into one pocket, and slamming his locker shut. He pauses as he reaches the end of the aisle to look back at Eliott. “Thank you.”</p><p>Eliott returns his smile. “You’re welcome.”</p><p>“I’ll see you later?”</p><p>Eliott nods and with another gentle smile, Lucas leaves. Eliott exhales heavily, falling forward until he can press his forehead against the cold bench, breathing shakily. Opposing emotions battle in Eliott’s chest: exhilaration – he’s in love! He very nearly <em>told </em>Lucas he loves him; Terror – that Lucas is not. That feelings Eliott is experiencing with an intensity he’s never known, might not be returned.</p><p>The door to the locker room opens and Eliott quickly sits up, pasting on a smile, his tone sunny. “Forget something or couldn’t leave without a kiss?”  </p><p>Jeremy’s face comes into view and Eliott’s smile drops. How is it that he can go an entire day without bumping into Lucas but every fucking time he turns around there is <em>fucking Jeremy</em>. It’s the cruelest sort of coincidence.</p><p>“Was looking for you actually,” Jeremy answers. Ok… not a coincidence then. “I saw Lucas come out… figured you wouldn’t be far behind.” He walks towards Eliott, stopping to lean against the lockers.</p><p>Eliott rises to a stand, not particularly liking the feeling of looking up at Jeremy and leans against the opposite lockers with arms crossed against his chest, projecting a confidence he doesn’t quite feel. “Last time you were looking for me I had to live through a conversation about threesomes. I’d rather not have a repeat of that.”</p><p>His attempt at disarming Jeremy seems to have the intended effect. Jeremy’s cocksure pose falters, and he straightens, clearing his throat. “Guess it all worked out for you anyways, didn’t it? You and Lucas?”</p><p>“Jeremy,” Eliott sighs, deciding to nip this conversation in the bud, “if this is ‘cause you’re pissed Lucas and I are together –”</p><p>“So, you are? Together?”</p><p>It’s Eliott’s turns to falter. “I – you’ve seen us.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Jeremy chuckles. “And you saw me with him.”</p><p>A wave of annoyance rushes over Eliott. He really doesn’t have it in him to deal with this. “I don’t want to have this conversation with you, Jeremy. I’m going to go.”</p><p>“I was like you too,” Jeremy says before Eliott’s even taken a step. “Thinking I had a chance with him. Thinking… so much of him really.” He laughs, cold and without humour. “He’s so sweet – so cute but so tough. He doesn’t care what people think of him – and he doesn’t apologize for what he wants. And I thought, here’s this gorgeous guy who’s gonna be the best of the best. And he got himself there. He made that happen. I admired him as much as I was crushing on him.”</p><p>“I don’t know what sort of pedestal you had Lucas standing on,” Eliott breaks in, “but it’s not like that for me. I’m under no allusions about who he is. This conversation is useless. You’re the last person I’d trust to speak about him.”</p><p>“Because you know everything you need to know about him, right?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees, more than a little irritated by Jeremy’s assumptions about him – about how he feels about Lucas. “But I know enough. And with time – with trust – I’ll know more.  And that has nothing to do with you.”</p><p>“I know. This isn’t about me wanting to be with Lucas – me being jealous,” Jeremy insists. “I know you don’t believe me,” he continues in response to the look of disbelief on Eliott’s face, “but I’m trying to do you a favour.”</p><p>“Spare me,” Eliott scoffs. He’s done with this conversation. He shouldn’t have listened in the first place. Eliott turns without another word. Jeremy doesn’t let him get far.</p><p>“He’s in love with Moreau.”</p><p>Eliott stops at the end of the aisle, keeping his back to Jeremy. A flurry of thoughts – questions – bombard him in quick succession. Jeremy knows about Moreau and Lucas. How much does Jeremy know? He thinks Lucas is in love with Moreau. Why would he believe that? Did Moreau say something? What will Lucas do when he finds out? Does this mean the rumours are spreading through the hospital? Eliott needs to do something. <em>Should </em>he do something? But what can he do when he doesn’t know the whole story himself – when he doesn’t know what Jeremy knows.</p><p>Eliott schools his face, channeling the metaphorical veil he’s seen Lucas adopt to shield his emotions on more than one occasion, and turns around slowly. The only emotion he allows to fight its way to the surface is anger.</p><p>“What the fuck are you talking about?” His words are cold and controlled. Jeremy is unphased by them.</p><p>“Why do you think Lucas refused the surgery?” Jeremy provokes. “He doesn’t want anyone to know.” None of this is a surprise or shock to Eliott. If Jeremy thinks he’s got Eliott here – “He doesn’t want us all to realize that’s why he’s here. That’s the only reason he got into this program. He’s not the best. He just fucked the best.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up!” Eliott bites. He’d thought this of Lucas once. He feels physically nauseous even recalling the vile, cruel words that had spewed from his own mouth – driven by jealousy in the bar that night – just like Jeremy now. “You don’t know Lucas at all.”</p><p>“No, I didn’t,” Jeremy says, voice as sharp as the shining edge of a scalpel in the operating room. “Not then. Not when <em>I </em>slept with him. But I do now. Did you know he’s been in love with Moreau since he was a kid?”</p><p>Eliott hates that the question catches him off guard – hates that he can’t control the way he responds in shock. “What?”</p><p>Jeremy nods, looking satisfied to have Eliott’s full attention now. “Yeah. Was obsessed with him. You really think you can compete with that? When Lucas has been chasing his coattails for most of his life?”</p><p>“That’s ridiculous,” Eliott challenges. Where would Jeremy even come up with such an idea? “You can’t know that.”</p><p>“Don’t believe me? Ask him,” Jeremy suggests. “Bet he won’t deny it. Bet he can’t. I heard Moreau and Lucas’s dad talking. Did you know he was here? Dr. Lallemant. They’re friends. Moreau and him. They go way back. Dr. Lallemant knows about it too. Lucas and Moreau. Called it a ‘fling’ – said he was glad it hadn’t stopped Moreau from recommending Lucas for the program.” Jeremy laughs, cruel and unkind. “Moreau said it was hard sometimes – with the way Lucas was still pursuing him.”</p><p>“That’s not true,” Eliott cuts in, voice choked and brimming with emotion. “That’s bullshit. That’s not true.”</p><p>Jeremy turns to lean his back up against the lockers, looking a bit worn out himself now. “I thought so too. How could that be? I was hearing it from their mouths, but it just didn’t sound like Lucas – like badass, do-everything-myself Lucas.” He looks back at Eliott with a rueful expression. “I asked Moreau how long he’d known Dr. Lallemant for – how long he’d known Lucas. ‘Since he was a kid mooning over every move I made,’ he said.”</p><p>“That’s fucked up,” Eliott interrupts, red blurring the corners of his vision. “If all of that is true – do you not see how fucked up that is? Moreau knew Lucas when he was a <em>child</em>.”</p><p>“And Lucas seduced him as an <em>adult</em>,” Jeremy rebuts. “It nearly cost Moreau his marriage! Lucas’s dad <em>apologized </em>for him.”</p><p>It’s like arguing with a brick wall. There’s no sense in talking to Jeremy. Eliott owes him nothing. <em>Lucas </em>owes him nothing. “Holding this against Lucas – trying to <em>ruin </em>him for this –”</p><p>“I’m not trying to ruin him,” Jeremy responds, voice raised in obvious aggravation. “I’m trying to save you the hassle of getting caught up in this mess. He’s not worth it. I don’t want any part of this. You shouldn’t either. This is our careers, Eliott.”</p><p>“Right,” Eliott laughs with derision, “and this was never about jealousy. I forgot. I don’t need your <em>help – </em>where my relationship or career is concerned. And you don’t know Lucas at all. Stay out of his business – stay out of mine. And Jeremy,” Eliott takes a step in his direction and hopes it reads as threatening as he intends it to, “if you breathe a word of this…”</p><p>“I’m not going to,” Jeremy cuts in, looking frustrated but as done with the conversation as Eliott. “I told you it isn’t about that.” Eliott doesn’t believe that for a moment. “But Lucas gets everything he wants,” Jeremy continues. “no matter who he crushes on the way.” It sounds eerily like Lucas’s own words about his father. “There should be consequences for that.”</p><p>Jeremy’s motives in this conversation crystalize before Eliott’s eyes. “You thought I’d do it for you. You thought you could keep your hands clean and I’d do it – I’d hurt him. So you didn’t have to.” Jeremy’s silence says enough, and Eliott won’t give him one more moment of his time.</p><p>He leaves.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>By the time Mika catches up to Eliott, it’s clear Lucas covered for him. Mika doesn’t seem at all convinced of whatever cover story Lucas supplied, but he’s also too busy to be bothered with what he had called ‘twink nonsense’. Eliott would normally have called him out on such phrasing but he knew better than to push his luck and he’d escaped as quickly as possible.</p><p>It’s an odd day. Eliott’s far more on edge than usual, snappy in a way he almost never is, at least not with patients and certainly not in a professional setting. He’d been asked by Daphne at one point for clarification on a patient’s chart and he’d responded in a far less than kind way, that the subject wasn’t his patient and therefor not his problem. He’d gone back to apologize later of course, and she’d assured him she wouldn’t hold it against him. Her exact words being, “If I can handle Idriss’s dramatic moods, I can handle you.” He’d felt terrible nevertheless and truly had never looked forward to the end of day more.</p><p>He doesn’t even want to see Lucas. Which is… unusual, to say the least. Even when the only way they knew how to communicate with one another was through traded barbs and genuine animosity, even when he was telling himself he ‘hated’ Lucas – even then, he always wanted to see him. Now, however, the thought leaves a hole in Eliott’s stomach.</p><p>He needs to tell Lucas about Jeremy – about what Eliott now knows <em>because </em>of Jeremy. And Eliott has no idea how Lucas will react. Well, perhaps that’s not entirely true. He knows Lucas will not react well. He’s just not sure to what sort of extreme he can expect that reaction to be. Lucas could not have made it any clearer that he was <em>not </em>ready to tell Eliott these details of his past. That his choice to do so was taken by <em>Jeremy </em>of all fucking people, will burn even more. And worst yet, Eliott doesn’t know that he can believe anything of what Jeremy said. He suspects Jeremy was being truthful in relaying what he heard – he strikes Eliott as far too boring to come up with such a sorted tale on his own – but that means very little when the source had been Moreau and Lucas’s dad. It should have been Lucas himself. Eliott should have walked away far earlier in the conversation with Jeremy. He knows that. Which makes the prospect of talking to Lucas even more daunting. He has to relay what he heard, who he heard it from, and… the fact that he listened.</p><p>Things have been so good between them – better than good. Being with Lucas has been incredible – and it’s only been getting better. Eliott knows Lucas is coming to trust him completely. The way they’ve both opened up to one another is something Eliott hasn’t ever experienced before. He’s shared parts of himself with others of course, but it’s different with Lucas. It’s sharing every part of himself and trusting – <em>knowing </em>– he’s safe to do so. Lucas will honour and care for every bit of himself Eliott gives. Lucas will take care of him, just as Eliott will take care of Lucas. Which makes this situation all the more frustrating. Eliott doesn’t know what to do. And he feels powerless to stop the inevitable incoming storm – from Lucas or surrounding Lucas. There’s nothing Eliott can do. Nothing but talk to Lucas. Which is the last thing he wants to do. Hence… the quandary. And his increasingly bad mood.</p><p>He’s making his way towards the nurses station, his sole aim being to find Idriss and force him to listen as Eliott complains about his last patient – a best friend’s duty if there ever was one, when he rounds the corner to a disconcerting sight. Idriss is behind the desk, head down immersed in paperwork, but he’s not the reason for the way Eliott’s stomach immediately drops – it’s the group standing just on the other side of the desk. Millet stands talking to Moreau and… Lucas’s dad. Dr. Lallemant.</p><p>Idriss glances up just as Eliott comes to an abrupt halt. A quick sequence of events happens in the span of what is likely only a few seconds. Eliott’s expression must give cause for alarm and Idriss’s face transforms with confusion and worry. Eliott’s eyes bounce between him and the trio on the opposite side of the desk. Idriss follows his line of sight. He looks no less confused but seems to understand Eliott is reacting negatively to the grouping. Idriss tilts his head slightly to indicate Eliott should leave. Eliott turns to do so. Millet calls his name.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury!”</p><p>Eliott’s shoulders stiffen and he inhales deeply before turning with a pleasant smile, nodding as Millet waves a hand requesting that he approach.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury,” Millet repeats as Eliott comes to stop at his side, “I don’t believe you’ve met Dr. Lallemant.”</p><p>“No.” Eliott offers a hand to Lucas’s dad. “Dr. Demaury. Pleasure to meet you.”</p><p>Dr. Lallemant shakes his hand with a pleasant smile. “And you as well.” He doesn’t look anything like Lucas. His blue eyes are the wrong shade and too small, the shape too almond. And his other features don’t recall those of his son at all. Not in Eliott’s eyes. Lucas must look more like his mom.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury is the intern I mentioned I’m mentoring. He shows great promise.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, flattered and maybe a little amused by what is most certainly a bit of an exaggeration. His attention is pulled to Moreau when the other man speaks.</p><p>“Honestly, Millet, how you last hours in the OR with a spine that soft is beyond me.” Moreau laughs. “Always taking in the strays.”</p><p>Eliott bites his tongue, hard enough to make his eye twitch at the discomfort. But it’s either that or say what he’s thinking out loud. <em>Rather be a stray, aspiring to be a surgeon like Millet</em>,<em> than a predator and a prick all rolled into one excuse for a surgeon</em>.</p><p>“Ah yes,” Millet responds, with a laugh of his own, looking unbothered but clearly not about to take any shit. “I forgot your approach is ‘lead by ego’. Not everyone can inspire with intimidation and fear – as <em>effective</em> a tactic as it may be.” Sarcasm is dripping from his tone, and while it’s obvious the banter is said with a sort of comradery that will have neither of them taking one another’s barbs too seriously, Eliott can’t help but delight in the fairly scalding burn.</p><p>“What an absolutely atrocious example you two set,” Dr. Lallemant cuts in with an affable smile. “You keep that up, young Dr. Demaury here might get the impression surgery is a competitive field.” His hand falls to Eliott’s shoulder as the three men laugh and Eliott does his best not to flinch, pasting on some semblance of an amused smile. “So,” Dr. Lallemant continues, hand thankfully dropping from Eliott’s shoulder as he turns to look at him, “you must know my son, Lucas Lallemant.”</p><p>Eliott wills his voice to come out steady. “Yes, I do. I know Lucas quite well.”</p><p>“And tell me,” Dr. Lallemant says, “has he given you any competition or should I consider asking him to change his last name?”</p><p>Eliott frowns, he can’t help it. Clearly behind his friendly demeanor, is a man perfectly suited to a friendship with Moreau. “Lucas is the best in our year.” Eliott hesitates, torn between wanting to sing Lucas’s praises, and not wanting to give his dad any information on him.  “He’s – he’s going to be an incredible surgeon. He’s compassionate but he sets boundaries – better than I’ve ever been able to do.” Eliott tries to keep his tone measured and unemotional. He’s not entirely sure if he succeeds. “I’m lucky to work by his side.”</p><p>“You hear that, Lallemant?” Moreau laughs. “<em>Compassionate</em>. Told you he wasn’t a chip off the old block.” Eliott shouldn’t have said that – shouldn’t have used that word. Apart from Millet, these are hardly men – <em>doctors</em> – Eliott would expect to put much value in such a trait.</p><p>“This is why I don’t regret leaving you behind for private practice,” Dr. Lallemant says with a chuckle directed at his friend, before his attention returns to Eliott. “And what about you Dr. Demaury? Are you competition for my son?”</p><p>“I’m sorry to interrupt,” Idriss’s voice – <em>Idriss’s beautiful, welcome voice</em> – comes from behind Eliott, “I wonder if I could steal Dr. Demaury away from you all. I have a patient’s medical history I’d like to discuss with him.”</p><p>“Of course,” Dr. Millet responds, smiling at Eliott with a mildly apologetic crease to his eyes.</p><p>Eliott offers them each a nod in departure and turns, catching Dr. Lallemant’s “Yeah, don’t want to keep the <em>nurse </em>waiting,” and Moreau’s ensuing laughter just as he glances up and sees Lucas standing at the corner across the hall, his expression unreadable. It’s clear he’s been watching Eliott’s interaction with the three doctors, though it’s unclear what conclusion he’s come to in that regard. Eliott’s steps slow, but before he can respond or react in any way, Lucas is turning, moving quickly away and disappearing around a corner. There’s an immediate compulsion to follow – there always is when it’s Lucas – but Eliott stamps it down and moves towards Idriss instead.</p><p>“Thank you,” Eliott breathes as Idriss leads him past the nurse’s desk and around the corner. “Any longer and I think I would have lost it and just decked him.”</p><p>“Who?” Idriss asks, glancing over at him with a grin as they continue down the hall. “Moreau or Lucas’s dad?”</p><p>“Both,” Eliott grumbles. “I can’t believe Millet is friends with them.”</p><p>“I don’t think he is,” Idriss responds. “<em>Friendly</em> maybe but you know what it’s like in here. It’s not really the kind of place you can afford to have a lot of enemies.”</p><p>Eliott laughs with little humour, thinking of multiple people he’d now consider something like ‘enemy’ – though the term feels too trivial for the way Eliott feels. And all of it centered around one person – one person Eliott knows doesn’t deserve any of this shit – not from his asshole father, not from Jeremy, and most definitely not from <em>fucking Moreau. </em></p><p>“Did you see Lucas?”</p><p>“What?” Idriss glances around them. “Where?”</p><p>Eliott exhales heavily. “Across from the desk. In the other hall. I think he was watching.”</p><p>Idriss shrugs. “So? He has to know word’s spread that his dad is here.”</p><p>“Yeah, but…” Eliott sighs, frustrated. Nothing about his internal turmoil is something he can share with Idriss – not when it would require Eliott sharing Lucas’s story – what <em>might be</em> Lucas’s story. “I don’t know. Things just feel really weird right now. Out of control, and… I don’t know how to handle it – what to do.”</p><p>“Listen,” Idriss says, swinging to face Eliott and coming to a stop. “Talk to Lucas. You’re doing that thing – I can tell – where you blow things up to be something in your head that they’re just not.” Eliott nods. He does do that. He knows he does. It just… feels justified this time. “You’ll feel better when you talk to him,” Idriss assures. “I gotta get back. You’re alright?”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Yeah. Thanks again for the save.”</p><p>“Anytime.” Idriss ruffles Eliott’s hair affectionately before jogging back down the hall in the direction they’d come.</p><p>Eliott breathes deeply. He can’t let this overwhelm him, not right now. He’ll find Lucas later. They’ll talk. Idriss is right. Eliott’s leaping to worst case scenarios when he hasn’t even given Lucas the opportunity to assuage his fears. It’s not fair to either of them. And Eliott has work to do right now – a job, responsibilities that he <em>can </em>handle, even amidst these other stressors. Eliott’s mom isn’t right about this. Eliott can handle it – all of it. And then he and Lucas will be together, and the moment they’re together Eliott knows his stomach will settle and he’ll feel that calm again – that safety.</p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  
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</p><p> </p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Eliott arrives early because of course he does. He’d experienced a fitful sleep, waking up feeling as though he hadn’t slept at all. He’d been too anxious to stomach much of a breakfast and having decided he couldn’t tolerate the concerned looks Lucille was throwing his direction every other minute, he’d packed up and headed out, figuring waiting a while for Lucas would at least help him organize his thoughts into something that resembled sentences. Only as he turns the corner and walks towards the stone partitions separating spaces of the courtyard at the front of the hospital, he’s shocked to see Lucas is already there. Eliott slows his pace to a stop, simply taking in the sight of Lucas before the other boy notices him. Lucas sits sideways with his feet up on the stone, his knees bent and chin resting atop them. His arms are wrapped around his legs and it gives the impression he’s hugging them. He’s staring in front of himself with unfocused eyes.</p><p>Emotion wells up in Eliott’s throat. He’ll do anything to protect Lucas, anything to make sure he’s ok, that he’s cared for and happy. Eliott loves him. Loves him so much, it’s the first time he’s truly understood that sentiment about putting another first – of another being so much more important than one’s self. The anxiety that’s been building for days runs from Eliott’s skin to the pavement below, dripping in inconsequential drops to be left behind. None of it matters as he looks at this boy he loves so much. He can’t lose him. He can’t lose Lucas.</p><p>Just at that moment, Lucas looks up, turning his head in Eliott’s direction as though sensing him there. He looks nervous, tired as though he hadn’t experienced any better a sleep than Eliott, and his expression is open, unguarded. He swings his feet off the stone as Eliott approaches, pushing to a stand and wiping his palms against his thighs. He licks his lips and opens his mouth in greeting. There are enormous bags beneath his eyes, giving the appearance as though both eyes were bruised. He’s still the most beautiful thing Eliott has ever seen.</p><p>“Hey –”</p><p>Eliott cuts him off with a hard kiss. Wrapping an arm around Lucas’s neck and with a hand cupped to his face, Eliott presses everything he’s been feeling into the kiss, the love, the desperation, the fear. It takes Lucas a moment to respond. But when he does, it’s with equal ferocity. He makes a sound, a little like a cry, desperate and pained, before his arms move to wrap around Eliott’s back, and their tongues meet. They kiss and they kiss. Pressed as tightly as they are, it likely resembles more of a hug than it does a kiss, and it’s perfect – it’s everything Eliott needed and more. It’s the reassurance that what he feels between them is real. And that whatever is thrown at them – whatever they know or don’t know about one another – they can handle it together.</p><p>Lucas pulls back, and Eliott cups his face with both hands, pressing his lips to Lucas’s cheeks, leaving kisses speckled across them before moving to his cheekbones, his eyelids, the tip of his nose. Lucas exhales a shaky breath, blinking his eyes open to stare up at Eliott in something like wonder. He looks dazed and overwhelmed. And it’s the first moment Eliott’s thought… he feels it too. Not, ‘He likes me too’, or ‘It’s just as intense for him’, but ‘He loves me too. He loves me the way I love him.’</p><p>“Good morning,” Eliott whispers, face stretching into a smile.</p><p>“Morning,” Lucas responds, stepping back and out of Eliott’s arms, looking mildly embarrassed. One hand moves to rub up and down his tattooed arm – currently hidden by the cotton of his sweatshirt. He glances around them as though only now remembering they’re standing in the courtyard outside the hospital – not in direct line of sight of the entrance, but close enough that they could be seen by people they know.</p><p>“Sorry,” Eliott says apologetically, immediately conscious of the fact that he’d acted without considering Lucas’s potential discomfort should someone have seen them. “I wasn’t thinking. I don’t think anyone saw.” Eliott glances around them but aside from a couple people who don’t look like staff, smoking near the entrance to the hospital, the courtyard is otherwise deserted in the early hour.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, eyes dropping to the pavement between them. “I don’t think we should do that though.”</p><p>“I know,” Eliott agrees. “I’ll be more careful next time. I just saw you and…” He smiles, pleased when Lucas looks up to catch his eye. “Couldn’t help myself.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t smile. His eyes drop to Eliott’s lips before they dart away once more, looking past Eliott, out towards the rest of the courtyard. “No, uh, I meant I don’t think we should do that… anymore.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, confused and with a feeling of dread creeping up to the back of his neck. “What are you talking about? Do what? Kiss in public?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, eyes moving back to Eliott’s, soft and hazy with something that resembles… grief. “No.” He swallows. “Kiss at – at all. Any of it – the physical stuff. Us… being together. I want to stop.”</p><p>The dread spreads from the back of Eliott’s neck, seeping down to coat his body and chest, to leak into his pores until it infects his heart. “I don’t understand.” Eliott’s voice is already choked with emotion and he desperately swallows it back down. He knows what this is. This is Lucas panicking. “Lucas, please… talk to me.”</p><p>“I…” Lucas’s hands are shaking, and he shoves them into the pocket of his hoodie. It’s a warm morning and yet he’s buried beneath layers of clothing. “I am talking to you,” he insists, voice fragile, as though the wrong tone would break it completely. “I’m telling you I don’t want to do this with you anymore.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott needs to get him to talk – <em>properly </em>talk about what’s really bothering him. “But why? Is this about… about what Jeremy said?” Eliott seems to have thrown Lucas completely with this comment, and <em>fuck</em>, this isn’t how Eliott meant to tell him at all.  </p><p>“What did he say?” There’s trepidation in Lucas’s voice but resignation too. Eliott doesn’t know what that means. But he needs to be honest. He owes Lucas that.</p><p>“Just… just that you knew Moreau as a kid. That you had feelings for him. That he and your dad were friends. Lucas,” Eliott implores, “none of it matters to me.”</p><p>Lucas nods. Eliott can’t be sure whether he’s responding to Eliott’s assurance or the information being shared. He doesn’t look surprised. He doesn’t look particularly horrified either. He looks… determined. “That’s it?”</p><p>The rest is information Eliott had already suspected, but he owes it to Lucas to at least be clear about what Jeremy knows – what he might share with others. “He said… it nearly cost Moreau his marriage. What you two had.” He swallows, throat dry. “Moreau still thinks you’re pursuing him.”</p><p>Lucas exhales. He makes a sound, filled with dark humour. It raises goosebumps across Eliott’s flesh. “It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. He doesn’t matter.” Eliott can’t be sure if Lucas means Jeremy or Moreau, but he’s right, it <em>doesn’t </em>matter.</p><p>“No, it doesn’t,” Eliott quickly agrees. He sounds too eager – too desperate. He can’t help it. Can’t rein back in the panic squeezing his lungs. “I don’t care about any of it. We can – we can figure it out and –” He takes a step towards Lucas.</p><p>“Stop.” Lucas’s voice breaks and he raises a hand to hold Eliott off, taking a step back. “I – I can’t do this. Please just – it’s too complicated.” <em>Complicated</em>. Eliott hates that word. “I can’t handle this and…”</p><p>“And what?” Eliott prompts desperately. When Lucas stays silent, he continues, “I don’t want us to be something you have to <em>handle,</em> Lucas. I want us to be something that helps you handle everything else. <em>I</em> want to help you handle everything else. Please just… tell me how to help.”</p><p>“No. I know. I know you’d – you’d do anything. I can't let you. This is how you can help.” Lucas looks as upset as Eliott feels. It’s ridiculous. This is ridiculous. It’s obvious he doesn’t want this anymore than Eliott does. “Just… agree. And we can – we can take a break and –”</p><p>“Take a break?!” Eliott laughs, shrill and panicked. “No. You don’t want this. You don’t need to do this.”</p><p>“I do,” Lucas insists, desperate. “It’s the only way. Please, just… don’t make this into a big thing. We weren’t even really together –”</p><p>“That’s bullshit,” Eliott cuts him off, fierce and angry. “That’s bullshit and you know it, Lucas. We were more together than anyone I’ve ever been with. And it was the same – I think it was the same for you. Don’t pretend this doesn’t mean anything!”</p><p>“Fine!” Lucas drags a hand through his hair, yanking at the strands. “It means something. Everything. But it doesn’t change anything. I can’t protect you like this!” He yells it. His hand pulls angrily at his hair.</p><p>Eliott’s mouth drops open. “Protect me? You don’t have to protect me, Lucas. What are you talking about?”</p><p>“I do!” Lucas yells. “You don’t get it! I’ve been here before, and she – she fucking <em>died, </em>Eliott.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him confused. “Your mom? Lucas, I’m not…” He doesn’t know what to say. He’s not dying of cancer? Lucas knows that.</p><p>“And if it hadn’t been that – if it hadn’t been cancer,” Lucas continues as though he hasn’t heard Eliott speak, “it would have been her own brain. I could never help. Don’t you get that? She got dragged into this shit and I couldn’t make it easier for her. I couldn’t stop h - I can for you.”</p><p>“I don’t want easy,” Eliott croaks, emotion strangling his vocal chords. “I want you.”</p><p>“You won’t.” Lucas says it like he’s sure. Like this is something he <em>knows</em>. But he can’t. He’s wrong. Eliott will always want him.</p><p>“But why?” Eliott pleads. “You can’t even give me a reason why.”</p><p>“It’s too much!” Lucas bursts in one fierce breath. “<em>I’m </em>too much. I’ll ruin you.”</p><p>“You won’t,” Eliott protests but it’s weak. It suddenly feels as though there’s a weight pressing him towards the pavement. Holding himself upright has become an arduous task. There’s a voice, whispering at the back of his head. He doesn’t want to listen to it, he tries to ignore it, but it’s there all the same, quiet and insistent. Lucas knows. Lucas knows Eliott loves him. This isn’t about Lucas. It’s about Eliott. Eliott’s too much. Eliott will ruin him. <em>Too much, too much, too much. </em></p><p>“You’re good, Eliott. You’re going to have an incredible career. You deserve that.”</p><p>“What? But… so will you. We can have that… together.” Eliott’s floundering, drowning in the dark, the water is murky, and sand fills his lungs.</p><p>“No.” There’s finality to Lucas’s tone. Finality that cuts sharp and deadly directly through Eliott’s chest. “I can’t do this with you.”</p><p>With you. With <em>Eliott</em>. It’s too much. Eliott’s too much. He knows it but he can’t stop – can’t let Lucas go. They were happy. They are happy. They were so happy.</p><p>“But –” He chokes on the word, vision blurring slightly. “I want us to be…” <em>Partners</em>. He thought they were. He’d thought Lucas wanted to be there in the same way Eliott did – to support one another, to be one another’s strength. Eliott had thought it was a partnership. He’d viewed Lucas as an equal. He’d thought Lucas viewed it – <em>him</em> – the same way.</p><p>Lucas’s voice quiets to a gentler tone and it’s worse – it’s so much worse. “Eliott, please just… don’t fight me on this. I need you not to fight me on this. I need you not to care.”</p><p>Eliott could never promise such a thing. He hadn’t thought he’d need to – had never thought Lucas would ask such a thing of him. Because he’d thought Lucas felt the same. He thought Lucas cared too. He didn't think Lucas would let go. </p><p>“Is that what you’re doing?” Eliott whispers, barely finding voice. He stares at the pavement, blinking back tears.</p><p>“It doesn’t matter,” Lucas answers. But it does. It does matter. Lucas will always matter. He looks up to find Lucas looking back. Eliott’s vision is too blurry to properly read the emotions on his face. He suddenly wishes desperately that he could see Lucas's tattoo, could read the colours, could know if they were as muted and grey as the world currently appears around him. “It doesn’t change anything.” No. It doesn’t. Because Lucas is done with him. Because it was too much. And it’s always the same, isn’t it? The way it’s always been. Too much for his parents. Too much for his friends. Too much for his boyfriends and girlfriends. He’d never wanted that with Lucas. He’s never wanted Lucas to feel that way. He’d thought… he’d thought it was different. They were different.</p><p>“I don’t want to be a burden. I never wanted to be that to you.” But he is. And Lucas knows it too. Eliott thought he’d had more time. More time before it became too much.</p><p>“This isn’t… your fault, Eliott.” Lucas’s voice wavers with emotion – regret… pity. Regret that he’s hurt Eliott, pity that Eliott feels so much more than Lucas ever did. “Neither of us meant for this to happen. And it was getting too…” <em>Too much</em>. Eliott heard him. “It’s just… It’s better this way. For now.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Yeah. Ok.” Silence, once so comfortable and warm, now heavy and awkward. It hangs thick and sticky in the air. Like shame.</p><p>“You’re the best person I know, Eliott,” Lucas says after a few excruciating moments of silence. “And the weekend at your parents – I want you to know –”</p><p>“Stop,” Eliott chokes. A tear escapes, trailing down his cheek. He can’t do this. He can’t listen to Lucas’s pity any longer. “Please stop.”</p><p>“Ok.” Lucas shifts uncomfortably, looking towards the hospital and back to Eliott. “You’ll be ok?”</p><p>Eliott calls upon any source of strength he has left to help steady his voice. “I’m fine.” He only partially succeeds. “You can go.” It’s what Lucas wants. That much is painfully obvious.</p><p>“Alright,” Lucas agrees, voice gentle but there’s a steely determination behind it too. It had been there the whole time. Eliott only realizes its purpose now. “I’ll see you then.”</p><p>Eliott nods. And that’s the cruelest part, isn’t it? They work together. They see one another nearly every day. Eliott will have to see Lucas day after day and know what he lost – be constantly reminded of everything he thought they were. He can’t imagine a future where he doesn’t love Lucas. It doesn’t feel possible. How does he live with that? How does he face every day knowing he won’t kiss Lucas, won’t touch him, won’t ever get to tell him he loves him and hear it said in return? He didn’t know the last time was the <em>last </em>time. He wishes he’d known.</p><p>He doesn’t watch as Lucas walks away, turning to sit on the stone partition instead with his back to the hospital and to Lucas’s retreating form. The weight smothering Eliott darkens the corners of his vision, and he doesn’t fight it any longer, letting it seep back into his body and swallow him whole this time. Eliott loses track of time as he sits there, letting the reality of what has happened settle in his stomach like lead. And he’s suddenly tired… so very tired. The thought of standing… walking… having to talk and respond to people… it’s too much. He just wants to sleep. He wants to forget what happened – if only in unconsciousness – and not have to face these thoughts… these questions… this heartbreak. That’s what it is, isn’t it? Heartbreak. He’s never felt it like this before. It’s never felt like his chest has been cracked open and all of his internal organs stolen, empty space left in their place. He’d always thought true heartbreak would mean wailing to the skies in pain, in an overwhelming display of emotion. Instead he’s… bereft. Empty. The closest he’s ever come to feeling like this was after a depressive episode as a teenager, hearing his parents discuss him just outside his bedroom – his mother’s voice, “<em>It’s too much</em>, <em>Christophe. I don’t know what to do. It’s too much.” </em>He’s always known it was the case. Since that moment. But he’d never thought – he’d never <em>wanted</em> the person he loved to know it too.</p><p>“Eliott.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes his eyes shut. Only it’s Lucas’s face he sees behind the blackness of his lids. The way Lucas laughed in the rain. The way he looked at Eliott. How much Eliott loved him in that moment. He opens his eyes to see Imane swimming before his vision.</p><p>“Eliott,” she repeats, “can you hear me?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott’s voice is scratchy and raw. As though he <em>had</em> been screaming his heartbreak to the skies.</p><p>“Ok.” Imane nods. “Can you tell me what happened? Why you’re sitting out here like this?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head but attempts an answer. “Lucas. He–” Unable to finish and afraid he’ll lose himself to the tears he’s otherwise suppressed, Eliott snaps his mouth shut, dropping his head into his hands, as he rests elbows against his knees. He scrubs the heels of his hands into his eyes.</p><p>“He texted me,” Imane says, though she looks no less confused. Eliott doesn’t look up, nodding instead, and he hears her exhale. “Alright. I’m going to get you out of here.”</p><p>Eliott looks up, blinking rapidly until his vision clears and focuses on Imane. “But… work.”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” she agrees, pulling out her phone. “I’ll handle it.”</p><p>“I don’t want to go home,” Eliott whispers. He can’t face Lucille’s overbearing concern. He can’t face his bedroom. He can’t look at his bed without thinking of the last time he was with Lucas – who had responded to Eliott’s desperate attempt to ensnare him with an embarrassingly thirsty Instagram story. They’d barely made it to the bed. And Lucas had tried so hard to stay quiet, aware that they were not alone in the apartment, but driven by the pride that filled Eliott’s chest with every sound Lucas made (and perhaps a need to get Alex back for all the nights Eliott had been kept up by his roommate’s exploits), Eliott had brought Lucas to the brink over and over again, until Lucas couldn’t take it any more and had cried out – had begged. He’d been just as loud – maybe even louder – with Eliott moving inside him, fucking him hard and fast until they’d both come, bare minutes apart. Lucas had snuck out in the early hours of the morning with a soft kiss and promise to meet Eliott before work. And when Eliott had walked into the kitchen the following morning he’d been greeted by a very grumpy, sleep deprived Lucille, and a fist bump and impressed smile from Alex. With the memory comes a wave of nausea, and Eliott presses a hand to his stomach, swallowing as he wills it to pass. He won’t have it again. Lucas is gone.</p><p>Imane is watching him carefully. “Is it ok if I take you to Sofiane and Idriss’s?” She asks carefully. “They’ll both be at work for the day so you can sleep.” Eliott nods. “I’m going to call for a ride,” she says, looking back to her phone. “And I’ll let the boys know.” She looks back to him. “Is there anyone else you want me to call, Eliott? Your therapist or… your parents?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head. “No.” He clears his throat, forcing his voice out with confidence he doesn’t feel. “I’ll be ok, Imane. I just need to sleep.”</p><p>She doesn’t look convinced, but she nods. “Ok then. Let’s get you home.” She reaches for his arm, helping to steady him as he stands.</p><p>“But… you have shift,” Eliott suddenly realizes. He can’t get Imane in trouble.</p><p>“No,” she denies. “I’m not on shift. I’m working the weekend. I was only here to get caught up on a few things.”</p><p>“Keener,” Eliott teases, voice shaky and far too fragile, but a little more like himself.</p><p>Imane looks relieved by the attempt at banter, smiling up at him as she guides them to the curb. “It takes work to be this brilliant.”</p><p>Eliott’s laugh cracks in the middle and he finds himself frustratingly and all too abruptly on the edge of tears once more. “I’m sorry,” he whispers as he looks away, taking long, measured breaths to hold back the emotions that threaten to drown him.</p><p>Imane’s arms are suddenly wrapping around him from the side, encasing his arms in the comforting hold. “It’s going to be ok, Eliott,” she says, and he relaxes into the hold, closing his eyes and listening to the cadence of her voice. “You’re strong – one of the strongest people I know. You’re going to be ok.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Eliott wakes to Idriss’s gentle voice, a hand smoothing down his arm where it lays over the blanket. The knowledge of where Eliott is and why, doesn’t come flooding back in one overwhelming wave of awareness. Instead he wakes with the weight of it already pressing down on him, the memories at the forefront of his mind, fresh and painful, each limb feeling as though it weighs five times its normal weight. And he can’t escape Lucas even here. It feels laughably cruel – that even in his bestfriend’s bedroom all Eliott can see – can <em>feel</em> – is Lucas, memories of them together here. Eliott blinks his eyes open to see Idriss crouched in front of him, his face a mask of concern.</p><p>“Hi.” His voice comes out stronger than he expected, though cold and devoid of any feeling in a way that doesn’t sound like him at all.</p><p>Idriss’s hand moves to his hair, combing gently through the strands. Eliott exhales happily, rubbing his face further into the pillow. “I’m gonna make you some soup, ok? Do you think you could eat some soup? Maybe some crackers too?” Idriss’s is using the same soft, sweet voice he uses when dealing with terrified patients – particularly younger surgical patients.</p><p>Eliott smiles, exhaling a breath he hopes reads like humour. “I’m ok, Idri. I’m not depressed.” Well… they both know that’s not accurate. “I mean, I’m not having a depressive episode.” Not quite. Eliott can feel it trying to drag him under, likely only kept in check by the medication he studiously takes daily, but it remains on the periphery. “I’m just… a bit fucked up.”</p><p>Idriss exhales heavily, voice instantly dropped to its normal, much deeper measure. “Yeah? You’re sure?”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes. “I wouldn’t bother telling you I wasn’t having a depressive episode if I was. Doubt you’d get full sentences out of me.”</p><p>Idriss nods, having had experience with this in the past. “Fuck. Scared me.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>Idriss huffs, shoving his shoulder. “Don’t apologize.”</p><p>“Sorry.”</p><p>Idriss laughs, pushing to a stand and forcing Eliott further over on the bed as he collapses down on top of the sheets, resting on his back.</p><p>“So? You gonna tell me what’s going on? You’re not exactly who I planned on having in my bed tonight.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, irritated to feel familiar emotion building in his throat. “You’re not… me neither.”</p><p>Idriss nods, tilting his head to look at Eliott. “This is about Lucas?”</p><p>The name manifests as physical pain and Eliott flinches, pulling the covers up closer around his body as he nods. “He…” Eliott inhales a breath, feeling as though it takes far more effort than it should. “It’s done.”</p><p>Idriss’s eyebrows pull together. “What’s done?”</p><p>“Us.” Eliott isn’t sure he has it in him to explain. He doesn’t want Idriss to hate Lucas either. It’s all just… <em>too much</em>. He could laugh at the painful irony of the thought – laugh if it weren’t for the fact that every word he speaks allows his sorrow to creep further and further over his body, threatening to smother him entirely.</p><p>“The fuck?” Idriss sits up on the bed, staring down at Eliott. “What are you saying? Lucas broke it off with you?” Eliott nods. “Why the fuck did he do that?!” Idriss sounds not only confused but outraged. Eliott cringes slightly at his tone.</p><p>“Don’t be mad,” Eliott pleads. “He just… doesn’t want to deal with it. Me. I’m… too much.”</p><p>Instead of erupting the way Eliott expected, Idriss face remains blank… as though his confusion has redirected him from his anger.</p><p>“Too much? <em>You’re </em>too much? Lucas said this?”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Yeah. He doesn’t want to deal with it… me.”</p><p>Idriss bursts into laughter. Eliott stares at him, too shocked to be particularly offended. He does manage to thump Idriss on the thigh though. “Sorry, sorry,” Idriss laughs, shaking his head as his amusement tapers out. “But you gotta be fucking kidding me.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, a little annoyed by Idriss’s reaction and clinging to that feeling, a welcome break from his heartbreak. “No. That’s what he said. Why is that fucking funny?”</p><p>“Ohhh,” Idriss intones with a grin. “Now you sound pissed. Good.” Idriss turns towards him on the bed, flicking his forehead before Eliott can stop him. “You really buying that bullshit?”</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, rubbing at his forehead and staring at Idriss in confusion. “Yes. Why wouldn’t I? He’s right. I can’t be who he wants – who he needs. I’ve always been – you <em>know </em>I’ve always been… a lot.”</p><p>Idriss snorts. “Oh yeah? ‘Cause what that kid is looking for is a drama-free life.”</p><p>Eliott sits up in the bed, even more annoyed by the way Idriss has completely captured his attention. “What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“If Lucas wanted a stress-free life – white picket fence and dude who was gonna fuck him all nice and proper, never upset the careful balance of things – he would’a stayed with that Jeremy guy.”</p><p>Eliott can feel his forehead wrinkle with consternation. “No,” he disagrees. “It’s not about that – him. It’s about me. <em>I’m </em>too much. It’s not that he doesn’t want any drama… he doesn’t want my drama. Not with everything else he’s dealing with.”</p><p>“Eli, you two literally got together in the most dramatic way possible. You hate fucked and then fell in love. Who does that?!” </p><p>“<em>I</em> fell in love,” Eliott clarifies. “And none of this matters. He admitted it was real… that it mattered… he’s just… done.”</p><p>“Like hell he’s done – like hell you’re done,” Idriss scoffs. “Shit. I came in here thinking I needed to be careful with you, when really all you need is a smack upside the head.”</p><p>“You weren’t there,” Eliott insists. “You didn’t hear what he said. He meant it, Idri.” Eliott tries desperately to push back the memory of Lucas’s face – his words. “He doesn’t want to be that person for me. I need him too much.” It’s not just present tense he means. “I <em>will </em>need him too much.”</p><p>“And he just spontaneously figured that out now?” Idriss sighs. “Alright, listen the fuck up.” His hand moves to grip the space between Eliott’s shoulder and neck, a comforting warmth. “You think you’re too much drama?” Eliott shrugs. “You think you’re too needy? Too much?” Eliott nods. “You’re literally describing Lucas.”</p><p>“What? No –”</p><p>Idriss cuts him off. “Yes.” He shakes Eliott slightly, forcing him to look up and into Idriss’s confident gaze. “Even when you’re not in the picture, that kid is the most dramatic idiot around. And you really can’t be blind to the way he works so goddamn hard for your attention.”</p><p>Eliott recalls Mika saying as much but the memory is distant and hazy, having lost its clarity when viewed through the lens of his pain. “He… he does?” Eliott scans his memory for such recollections, but he gets lost in blue eyes and a cheeky smile.</p><p>“Bro,” Idriss huffs a laugh, “I know you noticed. He did everything he could think of to piss you off.”</p><p>“Yeah, but… that’s because he didn’t like me.”</p><p>Idriss’s eyebrow arches. “Like you didn’t like him?” He snorts. “Please. He wanted your attention and he got it every time. And don’t think you’re getting off the hook either. You did the same to him. Everybody in the fucking hospital could see it.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott is aghast at the thought. Does everyone know about him and Lucas? What they… became? The thought is not nearly as pleasant as it had once been. “Do they…”</p><p>“Eh, ok. Maybe that’s a bit dramatic. I mean, there’s a running pool but it’s really only our friends.”</p><p>“A pool? What are you –”</p><p>“My point,” Idriss speaks over him, “is that Lucas fucking loves your drama. He’s always wanted you as much – maybe more – than you wanted him.” Eliott really doubts that. The way he wanted – <em>wants</em> – Lucas would be pretty damn hard to rival. “There’s literally no one more needy than him.” Idriss shakes his head, hand falling from Eliott’s shoulder. “Do you seriously not see that? You’re the one sleeping with him, going on trips with him, staring at one another’s texts like lovesick losers. You’re barely even capable of spending a night apart.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott trails off, the flood of new information – new context, leaving him more confused than ever.</p><p>“He needs you, Eli,” Idriss continues, his voice pleading and persuasive. “I don’t even know if you realize it – the way he looks at you, the way you two gravitate around one another. There could be five hundred people in a room and you’d still only notice one another.” Eliott had similar thoughts once. That awareness of one another. Like no matter how lost, no matter how alone, they’ll always find one another. Warmth kindles in his chest, but…</p><p>“Why then?” Eliott asks, a flood of emotion catching up to him, confusion, anger, desperation, despair, and… hope. “Why would he say those things? Make me think those things? Why end things? We were… we were so happy.”</p><p>A crease appears between Idriss’s eyebrows. “Didn’t you say shit was weird?”</p><p>“Not with us though,” Eliott explains. “It was other stuff – with… Lucas’s dad… Moreau… Jeremy.”</p><p>“All the assholes in Lucas’s life you mean.” It’s a succinct and accurate summary.</p><p>Eliott nods. “I wanted to be there for him. I thought that’s what we were – who we were to one another. Partners.”</p><p>“Hey,” Idriss’s voice gentles in the face of Eliott’s sorrow, “you are. Or you will be. I don’t know what Lucas’s problem is or why he was such a fucking dick to you –” Eliott opens his mouth to protest but Idriss raises a hand to silence him. “He <em>was</em>. I get that you love him, but he was. He hurt you Eliott. I don’t know,” he sighs, “maybe that was the point.”</p><p>“To hurt me?” <em>Lucas is panicking</em>. That’s what he’d thought, then forgotten in the face of his own pain. <em>Lucas lashes out</em>. That’s what Yann had said. Eliott expected that meant the volatile, headstrong Lucas Eliott had butted heads with on so many occasions. He hadn’t been expecting this – hadn’t prepared for it: A Lucas capable of making Eliott doubt everything between them with soft tones, regret and pity.</p><p>“Yeah, maybe.” Idriss purses his lips as he thinks. “You think you’re too much… maybe Lucas thinks he’s too much. Just seems like he’s working pretty damn hard to push you away. Even when you two acted like you wanted to kill one another, he was always pulling, never pushing. You need to figure out what changed. Sounds like he’s got some shit going on.”</p><p>“He said he wanted to protect me.”</p><p>“Shit, Eliott,” Idriss scoffs, “and you just tack that on now?”</p><p>“I thought he meant… because I couldn’t handle it. Like… mentally. I thought it was an excuse because he couldn’t handle me – didn’t want to.”</p><p>“You still talking about Lucas or you talking about your parents?”</p><p>That is… harsh. But perhaps fair. “It really felt like he meant it, Idri. I thought he meant it.”</p><p>“I don’t know, bro, but it doesn’t sound like it was a very clear conversation about what either of you meant.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “What does this mean? What do I do?”</p><p>“What do you want to do?” Idriss looks at him seriously. “No one would blame you for walking away –”</p><p>“I can’t,” Eliott interrupts. “I can’t walk away. If he – if he really wants me to, I will. I only want him to be happy.”</p><p>“Hopeless,” Idriss groans, looking like it’s taking everything in him not to call Eliott out on being so incredibly whipped.</p><p>Eliott ignores him. “But if he doesn’t… if this is him pushing me away to protect me… or because he thinks I can’t handle… <em>him</em>… I need to try.” Eliott straightens, a surge of purpose flooding his bloodstream like adrenaline. “I want to fight for him.”</p><p>Idriss smiles, this obviously being the answer he expected. “Sounds like you might have to.”</p><p>A soft knock on Idriss’s door interrupts them. They both look to it and see Sofiane’s head poking through. He straightens with a surprised smile when he sees them both sitting up in bed.</p><p>“Hey, you’re doing ok?” His sentence lilts up like a question.</p><p>Eliott offers a slight smile. “Yeah. I’m alright. Just… confused… and kinda overwhelmed.”</p><p>Sofiane looks at Idriss and a silent conversation takes place. Eliott has no doubt the two had a discussion prior to Idriss venturing in to check on Eliott, with regards to what had occurred that had caused Eliott to skip out on work and hide in their apartment. Sofiane likely already knows this is about Lucas – if not the exact details.</p><p>“Well, Imane and I made dinner,” Sofiane says, looking back to Eliott. “You up for eating with us?”</p><p>When there’s an extended pause as Eliott considers whether he has the energy to face all three of his friends on this subject, Idriss squeezes his knee. “Come out, have some food, and we’ll chill. We won’t talk about any of this, ok?” He glances to Sofiane, who nods, disappearing back out the door to likely give the heads up to Imane. “Just give yourself the night to sit on it. You don’t have to make any decisions or plans right now. Let your brain rest.”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “You’re a really good friend. You know that?”</p><p>Idriss lights up with a grin. “‘Course I know that. Sofiane could never.”</p><p>“Well, Sofiane has the looks, so really, that’s enough.”</p><p>Idriss points a threatening finger at Eliott as he stands from the bed. “You’re vulnerable right now, so I’m not kicking your ass. That’s gonna have a time expiration though. You better check yourself or I’m settin’ you right in the morning.”</p><p>Eliott laughs softly, the relief he feels after his conversation with Idriss palpable between them. “Noted. It’s ok that I spend the night then?”</p><p>“Of course,” Idriss scoffs, looking offended by the idea that Eliott would leave. “Now let’s go see what’s for dinner. Talking emotions makes me hungry.”</p><p>Eliott nods as he chuckles. “Gimme a second. I’ll be right behind you.” He pulls out his phone as Idriss disappears into the hall, bringing up Lucas’s Instagram. And it’s… right there, isn’t it? Eliott. He’s all over Lucas’s page. Sweet pictures and affectionate captions. It’s not too much. It’s never been too much. Not for either of them.</p><p>
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</p><p>Eliott taps on dm’s, composing a message. Simple and to the point.       </p><p>
  <em>It’s never been too much. Not for me. </em>
</p><p>Cryptic and a bit dramatic. But then, Idriss is right. Lucas is dramatic. And needy. And… the love of Eliott’s life. The biggest brat Eliott has ever known. Eliott can’t lose him. Not if he has a choice.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>So...</p><p>It wasn't that bad, right? </p><p>
  
</p><p>(I'll fix it though... not right away but... like, I will... eventually)</p><p>Notes for interests sake: </p><p>- The exact quote from Le Petit Prince that Eliott was trying to remember is: “And now here is my secret, a very simple secret: It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.” It felt very appropriate. The quote and that Eliott couldn't remember it exactly.</p><p>- If the... ahem... link to the uncensored pic of Lucas on Eliott's camera roll doesn't work for you, let me know. I think I used a pic database that will work for all countries but can't be sure. FYI - I changed the source to google photos. I'm assuming that should work for everyone but *fingers crossed*</p>
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<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The last chapter is heeeeeeerrrreeeeee (last before the epilogue anyways)! I can hardly believe it. Just a quick but very sincere thank you to all of you who have been here to encourage and support me and give me so much love. I see you, I appreciate you!!!! </p><p>
  <b>WARNING for this chapter: There is a conversation which will bring up the topic of predatory behaviour. I'm not sure how much more detail to add in a warning, so I'll just say if you have any reservations or would like more detail, feel free to DM me</b>
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott takes a steadying breath as he approaches Mika, unable to stop his eyes from locking on the back of Lucas’s head where he stands with a number of other interns as Mika goes over duties for the day. Eliott’s likely projecting but Lucas looks small… meek in comparison to the others… as though he’s trying to disappear amongst the surrounding bodies.</p><p>“Ah, Demaury,” Mika greets as Eliott comes to stand at the back of the group. “Wasn’t sure I’d be honoured with your presence today.”</p><p>“Yeah, sorry about yesterday,” Eliott offers, uncomfortably aware of everyone’s attention turning to him <em>but </em>the attention of the one person he wants.</p><p>“Well, having you vomiting on me wouldn’t have been my favourite thing. So I’ll allow it. Just this once,” Mika says with a smile, before continuing on with his summary of the various needs of the day.</p><p>Eliott knows Imane had called in with a story about finding him incredibly ill outside of the hospital. He has no doubt she’d provided a convincing summary of symptoms that would not allow him to complete his scheduled shift. There’s only one person who will know it is a lie. And that person is currently refusing to meet Eliott’s gaze.</p><p>“And Lallemant,” Eliott’s attention jerks back to Mika at the sound him speaking Lucas’s last name, “Caron has been your patient, correct?”</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas answers, voice quiet and raw. Goosebumps break out across Eliott’s skin at the soft cadence.</p><p>Mika hums, looking down at the paperwork on his clipboard. “You’re being taken off. Dr. Moreau has taken over. He’s requested a different intern.” Mika turns his attention to another intern. “Beaulieu, I need you to –”</p><p>“Wait,” Eliott interrupts. “You’re just going to allow that?”</p><p>Mika looks to him, surprised. “Allow what?”</p><p>Eliott shouldn’t do this – not here, not now. But righteous anger burns bright and hot in his chest, and he lets it consume him. “You’re going to let Moreau take a patient from Lucas? You’re just going to let him call all the shots like that? Like we’re all pawns for him to move about the board as he wants?!”</p><p>The other interns have fallen completely silent and still, and Eliott can <em>feel</em> Lucas’s eyes on him now. Mika stares at him for a moment before he answers, his tone thick with incredulity.</p><p>“Are you high?” Mika searches his face as though he really believes Eliott might be. “Did you just ask me why I didn’t openly question the orders of an attending – one of the most established surgeons at this hospital – a doctor who could make or break any of our careers?”</p><p>Eliott only just stops himself from rolling his eyes. “And that’s it? He has all the power so the rest of us fall in line? You of all people are ok with that?”</p><p>“Me <em>of all people</em>?” Mika’s voice swings to a higher pitch. “Demaury, whatever point you’re trying to make –”</p><p>“Am I really the only one who sees the problem with this? He can’t be allowed a position of power that makes him exempt from all consequences –”</p><p>“<em>Eliott.</em>” Lucas’s voice. Quiet but firm. He barely speaks at a volume that can be heard over the sounds of the hospital around them. Eliott would have heard him over a hundred people screaming. “Stop.”</p><p>Eliott stares at the blue eyes that are <em>finally </em>looking back, and he could scream at the veil he recognizes lowered across them, not quite opaque, but there all the same, a desperate attempt to shield Lucas’s thoughts from Eliott’s view. “Lucas,” Eliott pleads, “he can’t do this. We can’t let him do this.”</p><p>“He can,” Lucas cuts in, eyes shifting briefly to those surrounding them. “Leave it.”</p><p>“But –”</p><p>“Eliott.” The veil lifts – just for a split second – and Lucas’s eyes are filled with pain. The plea in them cuts to the marrow of Eliott’s bones. “Shut up.”</p><p>Eliott snaps his mouth shut. He can’t bring himself to nod or openly agree. He merely stares at Lucas and wonders what his own eyes are saying back.</p><p>“<em>Okkkkkk,”</em> comes Mika’s voice from in front of them. It’s only when Lucas breaks their eye contact, looking back to Mika, that Eliott is able to do the same. Mika’s eyes are wide. He looks a lot more bewildered than he does mad. His attention swings between them. “I have no idea what just happened, but you’re lucky I’m too busy for your shenanigans. If you could pause the melodrama long enough for me to get through these morning assignments though, I’d be <em>oh so appreciative</em>.” He smiles, sarcastic and impatient, before he continues to rattle off duties and notes on continuing cases.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes drift back to Lucas, studying his profile. The ache – the heartbreak – is still there, pressing on Eliott’s lungs and making even the simple task of breathing feel like a daunting undertaking, but there’s something new building too, a determination that helps fill his lungs. He watches as Lucas’s eyes drop to the floor. He folds his arms across his body and moves a hand against one arm, rubbing against colour and line currently hidden by the sleeve of his lab coat. He’s hurting too. It’s plain to see. Eliott might not understand why, or the exact context behind Lucas’s decisions to hurt them both so terribly, but one thing is for certain: It’s not over between them.</p><p>A shoulder bumps into Eliott, startling him out of his reverie. It’s Lisa, staring forward at Mika but speaking to Eliott.</p><p>“Knock it off with the stalker stare. You’re so obvious it makes me want to puke.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>By mid-day Eliott is utterly exhausted. He did nothing but sleep yesterday, <em>still </em>managing to sink into unconsciousness in Idriss’s bed overnight, and yet he finds himself depleted of all energy. He feels more rundown than he ever has. Eliott recognizes this as being the result of his distraught emotional state, having experienced the physical toll taken by extreme moods before. Only in the past this level of exhaustion has been preceded by a manic episode, and while Eliott knows he’s been flirting with unstable moods in the past week, he’s otherwise had a fairly healthy handle on his mental state – at least the best that could be expected given the circumstances. But he supposes that this is the first time he’s ever experienced real heartbreak. The first and hopefully only time he’ll do so – at least where Lucas is concerned. Eliott is going to fix this. Or at least he’s going to try.</p><p>Eliott barely sees Lucas all day, catching only quick glimpses of him in the hall occasionally, too fast for him to even be sure it’s not just a figment of his imagination. By the end of shift, Eliott only wants to go home and curl up under his covers, forgetting… everything. He wants unconsciousness and a silent brain. Instead he finds Mika, unsurprisingly at the nurses station, talking to Idriss.</p><p>Eliott doesn’t bother with affable greetings or small talk, interrupting the two men in an uncharacteristically rude fashion. “Mika, where’s Lucas?”</p><p>“Well, hello to you too, cupcake,” Mika says, turning to him with a raised eyebrow.</p><p>“Mika,” Eliott responds flatly.</p><p>Mika considers him for a moment. “I’m not sure I appreciate this surly side of you we’re seeing. It doesn’t suit you and quite frankly, you’re going to prematurely age if you keep frowning like that.”</p><p>“Give him a break, Mika,” Idriss’s says from his position seated behind the desk.</p><p>“Why should I do that?” Mika asks, turning an amused expression on Idriss.</p><p>“On your daily list of dramatic bitch ass interns you want to strangle, has Eliott ever made the top five?” Idriss leaves it at that, his own face reading challenge.</p><p>Mika rolls his eyes. “Ok. Fair. Fine.” He turns back to Eliott. “Just this once, you get a free pass to be – in Idriss’s most eloquent words – a dramatic bitch ass intern.”</p><p>“Mika, Lucas. Where is he?” Eliott repeats, impatient and with no tolerance for the usual banter.</p><p>Mika flutters a hand towards the hall. “He went to discuss that patient with Moreau.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott can feel the blood drain from his face.</p><p>“Not everyone is a <em>pawn</em> as you so kindly put it,” Mika continues. “Most people just choose not to air grievances in the middle of the hospital with fellow interns and potential supervisors in earshot.”</p><p>“Where?” Eliott ignores Mika’s words, adrenaline surging through his veins.  </p><p>“In his office? Maybe the OR? He had a surgery this afternoon. Why the drama?”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t answer, spinning on his heel and jogging away. He trusts Idriss to handle the damage control with Mika. He slows only as he approaches Moreau’s office. The door is closed and Eliott pauses outside, heart thumping wildly in his chest. He can’t hear any voices and reaches to tentatively knock. He doesn’t even have an excuse in place, but his brain seems incapable of thinking beyond ‘Find Lucas. Protect Lucas.’ Worrying about what he’ll say is needless anyways. No one answers and the door is locked. Eliott hurries down the hall towards the elevators, betting on the next most likely place they’re talking being the OR. The floor is relatively quiet when Eliott reaches it. With it being the end of the day and no emergency surgeries on the schedule, there’s an eery calm to the space. OR1 and OR2 are empty. As he’s moving to OR3, he hears a voice – he recognizes it, though he’s never heard it quite like that before. Moreau, speaking softly and… lovingly. Eliott glances through the door into OR3 but the doctor’s voice is coming from further down the hall, and Eliott has a brief, vivid, and deeply unsettling flashback to the very first night he’d met Lucas – to the scene he’d stumbled upon by following the sound of Lucas’s voice. But… it’s not like that anymore. Not between Lucas and Moreau. Nothing is the same.</p><p>Only… it is.</p><p>As Eliott looks down the hallway bordering the OR, Moreau comes into view, and then… Lucas. The sight is like a physical punch to his stomach, and Eliott grabs for the corner of the wall, steadying himself as he looks towards them, but remains relatively out of sight. It’s so reminiscent of that first night he’d caught them together in the club, it feels surreal – quite literally, unreal – he’s not here, this isn’t happening, he isn’t seeing this. But he is. Just as he did that night. Only it’s worse now – so much worse. Because he loves Lucas. He’s in love with Lucas. And Lucas is…</p><p>Lucas has his back to the wall and Moreau stands in front of him, one arm pressed to the wall beside Lucas’s head. They’re speaking, loud enough for Eliott to hear but there’s something preventing him from doing so, a roaring in his ears. As he watches their lips move without sound, Moreau brushes a finger down Lucas’s face, tipping his head closer as he smiles. And Lucas… <em>Eliott’s Lucas</em>… he smiles a little, hands moving to grip at the lapels of Moreau’s lab coat as he pulls him closer, looking up from beneath his lashes. Eliott knows that look. Eliott’s seen that look… when it had been… when it was directed at him. Only now it’s Lucas and Moreau and they look… in love. They look like they’re in love.</p><p>Eliott’s vision blurs, and he watches as Moreau bends closer, pressing a kiss high on Lucas’s cheekbone. Eliott turns, pushing away from the wall and staggering back down the hall. He forces himself to keep moving, to lift one foot after the other, even as they both feel as though they’re sinking into the ground beneath him. He wants to welcome it, let the ground swallow him, let the sand flood his lungs, but he won’t. He can’t. He latches to the emotion that keeps him tethered to the present, that drags him forward and out of the sinking sand. Anger. He’s angry. He’s so very angry it overwhelms every other thought, every other emotion, and he lets it. Eliott embraces it, pulling it into his chest, filling the empty space, and replacing his purpose.</p><p>He was right. He’d been right all along. It’s been Moreau and Lucas the whole time. Eliott was… a place holder. Something – <em>someone</em> to do while Lucas figured out the rest. Eliott thought Jeremy had been the safe choice Lucas couldn’t live with, when all along it had been him. Eliott, the soft surgeon Lucas could manipulate with his big, blue eyes and sweet smile, with the way he looked when he was happy… and the way Eliott felt when they were together. But that’s not all Lucas’s fault. No one can help who they love. Lucas fell. Eliott hates that he still - even now - wishes it had been in his direction.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott’s not sure of the exact hour. The last time he’d checked, it had been two in the morning. He can’t sleep. He can’t remember the last time he got a restful sleep. No… that’s not true. It had been here, in his room, with Lucas in his arms.</p><p>Eliott wants to scream, yell, or… hit something. Instead he paces his room, energy building as pressure behind his ribcage. Every time he closes his eyes, he sees Lucas. The problem with that being the emotions attached to such images – <em>memories</em> – are not anger. He remembers Lucas’s laugh as they’d spilled M&amp;Ms all over the breakroom table, and he aches with longing. He remembers the way Lucas had knocked on his door at Eliott’s parent’s place, talking about ghosts before curling up in Eliott’s arms, and Eliott is flooded with feelings of happiness… peaceful and true. He thinks of Lucas’s face when he’d spoken of his mother, vulnerable and insecure, and a feeling of such protectiveness swamps Eliott he can barely breathe through it. He thinks of the way Lucas looked when they were together, in the dark, with Eliott moving inside him. The way Lucas’s mouth had parted around a cry and he’d begged for ‘more, harder, faster’ until he wasn’t able to beg at all anymore. Until it had just been sounds – needy, desperate sounds pressed to Eliott’s ear, and Eliott had collapsed down on top of him, smothering his own cries into Lucas’s neck. He’d wanted to say it then. With every thrust into Lucas’s body. <em>I love you, I love you, I love you. </em>And then lust battles with the anger that inevitably resurfaces. The two war in Eliott’s body until he gets lost in memory once more, and the cycle starts anew. And he can’t keep doing this. He can’t. That he’s still on his feet at all seems extraordinary. But it would appear he’s become the dichotomy he always loved in Lucas. He’s depleted, drained and exhausted, and yet he buzzes with energy. He’s angry, he wants to crush Lucas in the way he’s been crushed, and yet… he wants him just as badly as he ever did. Maybe more. In the quiet of the night, with a bed they’d once shared just to Eliott’s side, fury is blurred with desire. It’s fitting considering how they began. It’s perhaps a better expression of their relationship than the pathetic feelings of love that accompany every reflection.</p><p>Eliott collapses onto the bed with a groan, pressing his back to the headboard and smoothing a hand down his face. He grabs for his phone, opening his most recent message to Lucas.</p><p><em>Seen</em>.</p><p>Just beneath Eliott’s message. Embarrassment heats Eliott’s face quickly followed by that familiar simmering anger. What a ridiculous message it had been. <em>It’s never been too much. Not for me</em>. Right. Like Eliott had the option of choosing Lucas. Like all Lucas needed to know was that Eliott would be there for him through anything. Like love was enough. Eliott supposes it was… just not for them.</p><p>He clicks out of the messages and brings up his photos instead. It’s a bad idea, he knows. But when could possibly be a better time to wallow than in the early hours of the morning, when he’s alone to be as miserable and pitiful as he pleases. Eliott scrolls slowly through the pictures from their weekend together, a sort of self-torture, both wonderful and terrible. He’d do it all again. That’s the ridiculous part. Even knowing he’d end up here. He wouldn’t give up his time with Lucas for anything – not anyone. He laughs a little at the videos he’d take of Lucas wrestling with the dogs, flipping through the many, <em>many</em> videos and photos he’d taken. He can’t bear to delete any of them. His thumb hovers over a video of Lucas riling Archie up before he presses play. Watching it now feels a lot like the moment had then. Joy and happiness thrum through his veins, only this time the side-effect is anger. It’s not fair. It’s not fair this is who Lucas is, who Eliott got to be with, and Lucas isn’t his. He spitefully opens Instagram and posts the video to his stories. His exact goal in doing so isn’t something he could place but he closes the app before considering it any further, opening back up his pictures.</p><p>
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</p><p>He scrolls on, realizing that since the weekend, he’s taken very few photographs. It hadn’t occurred to him that he’d needed to. Nothing had felt like the <em>last time</em>. Even the thought feels impossible and wrong. He doesn’t dwell on it, eyes tracking through images until they land on… oh. The video. He and Lucas… together in the hospital. Fuck. He’d meant to put it on his computer and delete it off his phone. Now he supposes he should just delete it all together.</p><p>Eliott’s thumb hovers over the thumbnail. He shouldn’t. He hits play. The video fills his screen. There’s no soft lead in, no conversation or foreplay, it’s immediately the sound of their enthusiastic moans, fumbling with the phone and then… an image of Eliott’s cock disappearing into Lucas’s ass. It takes Eliott three tries to hit pause. He puts the phone face down against his chest. The only sound filling the room is the sound of his own breath, hard and fast as his heart beats triple time in his chest.</p><p>Fuck. That was… <em>fuck</em>.</p><p>Eliott groans, tipping his head back against the headboard and banging it twice against the hard wood. The mild pain does nothing to lessen the other sensation he’s desperately trying to ignore. Eliott glances down his body to where his dick has thickened with interest within the soft cotton of his briefs. The thought of getting off is… appealing. With a startling sort of clarity, Eliott realizes this is what he’s been seeking, what the buzzing beneath his skin demands. Release. And outlet for the anger he can’t find a place for… the lust. And Eliott knows, video or not, the moment he got a hand on himself, his only thought would be of Lucas. But… watching this… is it wrong? They’d filmed it with both of them more than enthusiastically consenting. And Eliott’s not the only one with the video. Lucas has it too.</p><p><em>God</em>. Eliott presses a hand against his cock, rubbing slowly against the cotton. Lucas has it too. Did he watch it? Will he still? When he’s alone and he thinks of Eliott, will his cock strain against his briefs too? Will he open the video and fuck his own hand as he watches himself with Eliott? Or will he pull out his dildo and groan in frustration when it’s not enough, when he watches Eliott fucking him and knows it will never be enough?</p><p>Eliott frantically pushes his briefs down, kicking them off. He reaches for the lube in his bedside drawer, nearly knocking his phone off the bed in his hurry to retrieve it. He places it back on his chest as he reaches for himself, moaning in relief as he wraps a warm, slick hand around his rapidly hardening erection. He wonders what Lucas would say… what he’d do… if he could see Eliott now. He’d probably smirk.</p><p>“<em>That hard up for it are you, average?” </em></p><p>Eliott pants, pulling himself off in rough, tight strokes as he imagines that cocky grin on Lucas’s face – the way he’d bite his lip as his eyes dropped to Eliott’s dick. Eliott moans, quickening his pace as he reaches for his phone with a shaking hand. Lucas would tease him, make a joke about his stamina that on this particular night, would be deserved. Eliott opens his phone, hitting play on the video and shuddering violently as the sight of his own cock fucking into Lucas comes into view.</p><p>“Oh fuck,” Eliott groans aloud, before biting his lip to stifle himself, desperately trying to control his breathing too so as to better hear the sounds Lucas makes through the lowered volume of his phone. But that’s Eliott’s cock, slick with lube, fucking in and out of Lucas’s body. The camera jostles and suddenly they’re both in frame. Eliott’s breath stutters in his throat and his hand stops all motion, tightly gripping the base of his cock as he stares at them. Lucas’s cheeks are flushed with colour, the blush extending down onto his neck and chest. His pupils are blown, and he stares hazily at the camera, mouth dropped open and swaying slightly forward with each thrust of Eliott’s cock inside his body. Eliott himself looks just as affected but… happy too. He’s smiling, pressing Lucas tightly to him as he takes them both apart. The camera tilts down Lucas’s body to where his cock stands, hard and dripping, bobbing in time with the rocking of Lucas’s body. And it’s suddenly not enough to be alone in his room, his hand the only relief Eliott has for the aching demand of his cock. He twists his body, dropping the phone to the pillow beneath him as he lays himself face down against the bed, wrapping his hand once more around his erection. He wastes no time, thrusting his hips down, fucking fast and hard through the tight grip of his hand. He shuts his eyes, concentrating instead on the sounds emanating from his phone. They’re both close. He can tell. He can remember. Lucas’s moans rise in pitch, the rhythm matching each slap of Eliott’s hips against his ass, each slam of Eliott’s cock into his ass. Eliott fucks himself against the mattress and imagines Lucas there beneath him… Lucas’s lips pressed to his ear as he begs, <em>‘Please, please, please.’</em> Eliott’s own words in return, <em>‘Gonna come, baby? Gonna come for me?’</em>… the way Lucas’s eyes would widen before they slammed shut and his body seized in ecstasy. Eliott fucks him through it, watching the orgasm play out across Lucas’s face, until his body demands its own release. Lucas would pull him close before Eliott could ask, ‘<em>Come in me. Come inside me. Please.</em>’ Eliott moans desperately and comes, body trembling through one of the best and worst orgasms of his life. And he says it,</p><p>“I love you. I love you. Lucas, I love you.”</p><p>The words cut through the room, finding no place or purpose, they lay heavy and unclaimed. Then suddenly, Lucas’s voice.</p><p>“Is it still recording?”</p><p>Eliott’s breathless, “Oh fuck,” and, “Yep.” Their laughter. Then silence.</p><p>Eliott rolls to his back on the other side of the bed, reaching for a discarded t-shirt and wiping his hand with it. He thinks of the times he’d given Lucas such shit for doing the same. Eliott reaches for the light, flicking it off and curling around his pillow. Away from the wet spot he’s left on the other side of the mattress, he’s sleeping on Lucas’s side of the bed. He can’t reach anger any longer. The release of his orgasm seems to have taken his anger with it. In its place however is only sorrow. Eliott lets it fill him, only this once, in the darkness of the room, alone, it overcomes him, and he lets tears slip silently down his cheeks to the pillow beneath. He pulls another to his chest, wrapping himself around it and imagining it replaced by something warmer – <em>someone </em>warmer, his heartbeat beneath Eliott’s hand, his hair against Eliott’s lips, his back against Eliott’s chest.</p><p>Eliott falls asleep imagining Lucas in his arms. He dreams of deep blue oceans and he drowns.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott stumbles into the kitchen the following morning, bleary eyed and in a foul mood. Lucille stands at the stove, stirring oatmeal in a pot. She always insists it’s better cooked on the stove. It isn’t. Eliott shuffles to the coffee, opening the cupboard and reaching for his mug… that isn’t there.</p><p>“Did you take my mug again?” He rounds on Lucille. She glances at him in surprise – like she doesn’t know what he’s referring to. Bullshit.</p><p>“Excuse me? Why would I take your mug?”</p><p>“Because. You just grab whatever’s in the cupboard. You <em>always</em> do this,” he huffs, snatching another mug and slamming it down on the counter.</p><p>Lucille moves from the stove towards the sink, turning back to Eliott with… <em>oh. </em>His mug is in her hand. “This mug, you mean?” He must have left it in the dish rack. Oops.</p><p>Eliott takes the mug as she hands it to him, placing the other back in the cupboard. He owes her an apology but stays silent. Not like she doesn’t snap on him every other day. He goes about preparing his coffee and breakfast, opening the cupboard and reaching for Alex’s sugary cereal instead of his own, pouring himself a bowl before retrieving the milk from the fridge and sitting at the kitchen table. Eliott stares down at his bowl, watching the milk turn chocolatey as the cereal seeps into it. Lucille bustles around him until she too takes a seat across the table. He glances over at her breakfast: oatmeal topped with a few walnuts and fruit.</p><p>“Do you ever eat anything unhealthy?” He snaps, more irritated than he can explain by the sight of her healthy breakfast.</p><p>“What?” She looks up in surprise.</p><p>He gestures towards her bowl. “We’re not geriatric seniors. You don’t have to eat like one.”</p><p>“Ok, what the fuck is –”</p><p>“Morning!” Alex interrupts, walking into the kitchen with a wide smile and bounce in his step.</p><p>“At least someone is in a good mood,” Lucille grumbles. Eliott glares at her in response.</p><p>“Hell yes, I am!” Alex crows. “It’s Friday. Don’t have to work this weekend. Got the best girl.” He sits down at the table with a cup of coffee and empty bowl and spoon. “Gonna spend the weekend with her. Life is good.”</p><p>Eliott pokes at his soggy cereal as Lucille responds. “You two sure are getting serious.”</p><p>“Yeah, it’s chill.” He reaches for the cereal, pouring himself a bowl before knocking Eliott’s shoulder roughly with the back of his hand. “See you’ve turned to the dark side, bro.”</p><p>Eliott looks up from his unappetizing bowl to see Alex tipping his chin towards the cereal. “Oh, uh, yeah. Just… felt like it.”</p><p>“I’m telling you,” Alex says, shoving a spoonful into his mouth and talking as he chews, “sugar is the best way to start the day.”</p><p>Lucille snorts. “See this is how we know something is truly wrong – when Eliott actually agrees with you.” She turns a judgemental eye on him. “You should have something more than that. You look like you didn’t sleep at all. You need proper nutrition.”</p><p>Eliott rolls his eyes, getting up from the table to dump his uneaten cereal in the sink. “Call my mom later. Fret to her about it.”</p><p>“Whoa,” Alex laughs, just as Lucille snaps.</p><p>“Seriously, Eliott?!” He can hear her sigh in frustration. “You know what? No. I’m in a good mood. I’m not going to be the one you pick a fight with.” Her chair screeches as she stands from the table and he concentrates on washing his bowl. “I’m going to eat in my room.”</p><p>Eliott moves his bowl to the dish rack, pressing his palms to the counter as he watches the water continue to run. Alex’s bowl is dropped into the sink with a clang and his hand rests on Eliott’s shoulder.</p><p>“Wanna go to work together?”</p><p>Eliott looks to him in surprise. They rarely ever go to the hospital together. It’s not that either of them intentionally avoids it, at least not as far as Eliott knows, but they’re never ready at the same time. Alex is distracted by Emma, one or both of them aren’t home at the same time… it’s an unusual request is all.</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Alex smiles, moving a hand to ruffle the back of Eliott’s hair. “Yeah, why not? Let’s get our shit together and go.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott agrees, his first genuine smile in what feels like far too long pulling at his lips. Alex nods, moving to leave the kitchen and Eliott calls after him. “Alex?” His roommate turns just before leaving the kitchen, eyebrows raised in question. “Thank you. I’m, uh…”</p><p>“It’s cool, man,” Alex responds easily. “Don’t sweat it.”</p><p>And that’s the thing with Alex. It’s easy, uncomplicated and… chill. It’s exactly what Eliott needs.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott checks in with Mika prior to changing into his scrubs and well before shift is to begin. Mika takes one look at what Eliott knows are fairly sizable bags beneath his eyes, and doesn’t question his behaviour, going over his duties for the day and telling Eliott to let him know if he needs anything. He’s gentler and far calmer than he normally would be. Eliott’s heartbreak is officially so plain to see, even Mika has come to pity him. Fucking fantastic.</p><p>The early check-in, however, allows him to avoid the rest of the interns – one in particular – finding the locker room empty when he arrives. Eliott sighs in relief, moving to his locker and stripping himself of his shirt when the door to the room swings back open. Eliott tenses, glancing to the end of the aisle to see who has foiled his careful plan. Lucas’s face appears and if it’s possible, Eliott tenses even more, quickly looking back to his locker and shoving his shirt in.</p><p>“Hey,” Lucas greets, quiet and cautious as he approaches.</p><p>Why is he here? What the fuck could he possibly want with Eliott now? “Hey.” Eliott’s tone is satisfyingly flat and devoid of emotion.</p><p>“Um…” Lucas stops just to Eliott’s side, and out of the corner of his eye, Eliott can see his hands are shoved in his pockets and he’s shuffling from side-to-side nervously. “How are you?”</p><p>Eliott sighs, slamming his locker shut. Lucas jumps slightly at the sound, eyes widening as Eliott turns to him. “What do you want, Lucas?”</p><p>“Wha – I…” Lucas’s eyes dart down to Eliott’s bare chest before jerking away. “I just… uh…” He pulls his phone out of his pocket, waving it slightly in gesture. “The message you sent me. That story you posted. What does it mean?”</p><p>“What does it mean?” Eliott laughs, throwing his head back with a disbelieving sigh before looking back to him. “What the fuck does it matter?” He takes a step towards Lucas. “Why do you care?”</p><p>Lucas’s tips his head back to keep his eyes on Eliott’s face, eyebrows pulling together. “You’re the one who sent it. Why are you being like this?” Annoyance builds in his own tone and Eliott’s body comes alight at the sound, like he’s only just woken up.</p><p>“What – you don’t like it?” He smirks, leaning closer and relishing the way Lucas swallows, eyes dropping to Eliott’s lips. “This is what we do best isn’t it? The hate makes it better. That’s what you said once.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move back to him, hazy and confused. “We don’t hate one another.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, a low rumble, eyes skipping across Lucas’s face. “Don’t we?” He lifts a hand to rest against Lucas’s neck, gliding a thumb across his Adam’s Apple, and watching as goosebumps rise across his skin. They still have this. It’s both satisfying and infuriating. Neither of them can deny this. Lucas might love another – someone unworthy of every soft touch, every loving word from him – but Eliott still has this. Lucas wants him. Lucas has always wanted him. “Can’t we?” He asks. “Better we hate one another when we fuck. Don’t need to feel guilty then. Use me and move on.” He slides his hand to the back of Lucas’s neck, gripping him roughly there.</p><p>“I never used you,” Lucas bites. Eliott can see his hands shaking at his sides before Lucas pulls them into closed fists.</p><p>Eliott hums, scraping nails against the back of Lucas’s scalp. “Used each other then,” Eliott continues, and he focuses only on the memory of the physical, the pleasure, nothing else. “Made you come so hard, didn’t I? Couldn’t get that from anyone else.” Can’t get that from <em>him</em>. “You couldn’t stop, could you? Needed to keep asking for it. Loved my cock inside you. Begged for it, didn’t you?”</p><p>“Fuck you!” Lucas bursts, shoving Eliott’s hands away from him, and when that doesn’t seem to satisfy, he pushes, then again, turning Eliott’s body to push him up against the lockers, hands pressed to Eliott’s chest. The lockers rattle behind him.</p><p>Eliott chuckles, allowing the manhandling. “Yeah, we can do that too. It’s not what you want though, is it?” He smirks, pressing his back to the lockers and tilting his hips out into Lucas’s space. “That’s not why you’re here. You’re craving it again. You want to be <em>fucked</em>.”</p><p>“That’s not why I’m here,” Lucas protests, but his voice wavers with uncertainty and his fingers dig into the muscle of Eliott’s chest.</p><p>“No?” Eliott tilts his head, letting his eyes scrape down Lucas’s body before travelling back up. “I think it is. Think you want a dick inside you.”</p><p>Lucas smirks, just as unkind now. “Don’t need to get that from you.”</p><p>Eliott’s moving before he gives it conscious thought, spinning them and slamming Lucas back against the lockers with an echoing bang, hands curled in the material of his scrubs. Lucas makes a sound of surprise, mouth parting as he pants, pupils dilated, and face flushed. “No?” Eliott’s own breath is coming short, and he moves his hands to the lockers beside Lucas’s head, leaning until their faces are separated by a mere breath. “He gonna give it to you the way I do?”</p><p>Lucas’s chin tilts up. He’s begging to be kissed. “Maybe.”</p><p>“Don’t think he will.” Eliott moves his face down to Lucas’s, stopping with their lips nearly touching, before abruptly pulling back. “Don’t think he <em>hates </em>you enough for that.”</p><p>Lucas blinks, gaze clearing in his confusion. “What?”</p><p>“What are we waiting for then?” Eliott’s hand is shaking when he slides it down Lucas’s body, slowly, making his intent clear, until he can cup it around where Lucas’s cock has begun to stiffen in his pants.</p><p>Lucas gasps, one hand slapping to the lockers while the other moves to grab Eliott’s hand. He doesn’t stop him. Instead spreading his hand atop Eliott’s and pressing it down more firmly. He moans, a soft gentle sound, and his eyelids flutter, eyes dark and unfocused where they stay on Eliott.</p><p>“Eli,” he whispers, “we can’t.”</p><p>“I think we can,” Eliott disagrees, grinding the heel of his hand into the base of Lucas’s cock and relishing the way it makes Lucas’s eyes lose focus. “Fight and fuck. It’s what we’re good at.” He’s gravitated back towards Lucas’s lips, but he denies them both the kiss, focusing on the deep blue of Lucas’s eyes instead. “And I <em>hate </em>you enough to make it good.”</p><p>There’s a still and silent moment before Eliott’s being violently shoved backwards as Lucas moves to the side and away from him, panting as he stares at Eliott in shock. “You don’t. Why are you saying that? Why –” His voice cracks. “You don’t hate me.”</p><p>“No, I don’t.” Eliott admits. It would be so much easier if he did. He can feel the emotion he’s pushed down, replaced with lust, crawl up the back of his throat, suffocating him with its intensity. “I wish I could. God,” he chokes, “why won’t you let me? I need to. I want to hate you. It can’t be <em>this. </em>I can’t feel like this. Please.” The tears Eliott can feel building in his eyes are mirrored in the blue eyes looking back at him. Lucas looks <em>wrecked</em>.</p><p>“I can’t,” Lucas whispers, a tear tumbles onto his cheek and trails down. “I don’t want you to.”</p><p>The door to the locker room swings open, jovial voices entering. Lucas bolts. Eliott turns to press his back against the lockers as Lucas disappears around the corner of the aisle, the sound of the door swinging back open, signaling that he’s left. Eliott lets himself slide to the floor of the locker room, pressing hands to his face as he listens to the happy voices a few rows over.</p><p>He could never hate Lucas. It feels like a curse – a joke being played on him by a cruel master of fate. Lucas doesn’t love him. Eliott’s going to love Lucas for the rest of his life.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott goes about his daily tasks listless. One benefit to being an intern is that most days are filled with monotonous tasks that don’t require the absolute attention or focus surgery would. He feels mildly guilty for the half-assed way he’s going about his duties, never mind the way he struggles to be attentive and kind to the patients he speaks with – something he would normally find the easiest part of his day. At present, the most simple and mundane of tasks feels like a slog.</p><p>Eliott hadn’t gone to find Idriss first thing as he had promised. He’d barely been able to form proper sentences after his… conversation with Lucas. Dealing with his best friend hadn’t been something Eliott thought himself capable of whatsoever. It’s not until a little after lunch that Eliott makes his way towards the nurses station. As he approaches, he catches sight of Manon. She stands to the side of the desk with Idriss who is not in scrubs at all. Daphne, who stands behind the nurses desk, sees Eliott before the others do.</p><p>“Eliott!” She chirps with a happy smile, attracting Idriss and Manon’s attention. Her face drops with concern as he gets closer. “Oh gosh, you look terrible.”</p><p>“Shit, goldilocks,” Idriss laughs. “You’re not supposed to say that.”</p><p>“I didn’t mean it like an insult!” She protests, looking to Eliott apologetically. “You’re always hot.” Idriss snorts from behind her. “It’s just right now you look… well…”</p><p>“It’s fine, Daph,” Eliott assures, mustering up something like a smile. “I know. I just haven’t gotten a lot of sleep lately.”</p><p>She nods, opening her mouth to reply when another nurse further down the hall calls her name, motioning towards her. Daphne sighs. “This place would fall apart without me, I swear.” She says it with the tone of someone undoubtedly proud of this fact, before bustling around the desk and down the hall. Eliott turns to watch her go, slumping with his back against the counter.</p><p>“Lucas hasn’t been sleeping either,” comes Manon’s soft voice from behind him.</p><p>Eliott tenses, turning back to face her and Idriss. Manon’s eyes are on him, but there’s no accusation in her gaze.</p><p>“I don’t see why he wouldn’t be,” Eliott responds.</p><p>“You don’t?” She prods.</p><p>“No.” He avoids Idriss’s eyes, looking only at Manon. “He got everything he wanted.”</p><p>Her eyebrows climb her forehead. “You think what he wants is to not be with you?”</p><p>Eliott stares at her confused. How can she question such a thing when Lucas was the one to end things, when he did so because of Moreau? “Has Lucas talked to you? Has he told you what’s going on?”</p><p>Manon looks regretful, glancing to Idriss who reaches to hold her hand in response. “No,” she admits. Well that explains it. “Lucas isn’t really talking to anyone right now. I’d hoped he was at least talking to you.”</p><p>“Lucas doesn’t need to talk to me,” Eliott insists with building frustration. “He said – he <em>did</em> everything he needed to. He made himself clear.”</p><p>“Are you kidding me with this shit –” Idriss begins, only to be cut off by Manon’s other hand moving to their linked hands, rubbing up Idriss’s forearm in a simple request. He sighs, looking about as frustrated as Eliott, but nods for her to continue.</p><p>She turns her face back to Eliott. “And what he said – did – that made sense to you?”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “No. None of this makes sense to me, but it’s what he wants. Why – what are you trying to say?”</p><p>Her eyes drop, unfocused as she considers her words, before she looks back to him. “Lucas hasn’t quite been himself lately. I know he’s under a lot of stress, but this is different.” She smiles suddenly. “When he got back from that weekend with you Eliott – he was so incredibly happy. I’ve never seen him like that.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott rasps, voice clogged with emotion. He remembers.</p><p>“But then…” Her smiles drops. “The last few days… Yann said he has barely been sleeping, he snaps at all of us, and he won’t speak about what’s bothering him. And if anyone dares to mention you…” She trails off, her eyes pleading. “You know him, Eliott. I think you know him better than any of us.”</p><p>“I –” <em>Don’t</em>. The word is right there but he can’t say it. <em>I don’t know him</em>. Even thinking it feels like a blatant lie. He does know Lucas. They know one another, inside and out, in good, bad, and worst.</p><p>“Is this like him?” Manon continues. “Does this feel like Lucas to you? The Lucas you know?”</p><p>No. It doesn’t. The Lucas Eliott knows – the Lucas he loves – isn’t in love with Moreau. The Lucas Eliott knows picks fights with Eliott just because he wants his attention. He scoffs openly at Eliott’s approach to medicine and surgery but passes on the opportunity to be cutthroat and competitive when it would mean taking something from Eliott. He’s the boy who laid in bed with Eliott and admitted he’d never experienced anything with the passion and intensity, the way he did with Eliott – and who looked surprised every time Eliott admitted it was the same for him. He’s the brat who had transformed into the perfect guest when it meant impressing Eliott’s parents, who had recognized Eliott’s distress in the face of his parent’s scrutiny, and immediately offered strong and silent support. He’s the scaredy-cat who had knocked on Eliott’s door, offering no other option than them sleeping together because he’d been afraid of ghosts. The type to insist he didn’t need to be cuddled, then sink back into Eliott’s arms with a happy sigh when that was exactly what Eliott did. He’s the romantic who cooked Eliott an entire vegetarian meal – who had pulled the chair out for Eliott and fussed over him the entire dinner, wanting so desperately for everything to be perfect. He’s the idiot who put himself in danger on the side of the road just so Eliott wouldn’t be alone, who had screamed to the skies in victory after succeeding in the most ridiculous of tasks, and Eliott had thought… he’s the love of my life. The Lucas Eliott knows, loves him back. He’d fight just as fiercely to protect Eliott as Eliott would him. He’d put Eliott’s safety – his happiness – above his own. Even when he absolutely shouldn’t.</p><p>“No,” Eliott answers, looking up to Manon with wet eyes. “No, it’s not him.”</p><p>She smiles, small and a little wobbly, her own eyes shining. “That’s what I thought.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott swallows, looking between her and Idriss with imploring eyes. “What does that mean? What I saw I… I don’t understand anything. What can I do?” Idriss doesn’t look like he has any answers where this question is concerned, and he too looks to Manon.</p><p>“Don’t give up on him,” Manon says, voice insistent. “I know it’s not a fair thing to ask, but…” She inhales shakily, bringing a hand up to brush at the corners of her eyes. “Lucas can’t lose you, Eliott. He’s lost… so much in his life. He’s survived it but… it’s different with you. Please just… give him a chance.”</p><p>“What if…” Eliott’s voice wavers, finding it difficult to express such a deep-seated fear. “What if that’s not what he wants? What if I’ve screwed it up too badly? What if he did?”</p><p>“Do you think that’s true?” She asks. “Is there anything that could make you stop loving him?”</p><p>Eliott looks to Idriss, who offers a slanted smile in return, his eyes speaking louder than words. They both know the answer.</p><p>“No,” Eliott admits, voice fragile but growing stronger with each word. “There’s nothing. Even if I wanted to… I couldn’t stop.”</p><p>“And do you – want to?” Manon asks. “It’s ok if you do. It’s a lot, I know. Too much maybe.”</p><p>“No.” Eliott has never loved anyone the way he loves Lucas. Whatever happens – he wouldn’t give that up for anything. It’s not too much. It will never be too much. “I don’t.”</p><p>Manon nods, smiling warmly. “I think we need to be a little patient then. Let him figure a few things out for himself.”</p><p>“Patient?” Idriss abruptly scoffs, looking between them. “You think this kid can be patient?”</p><p>Eliott frowns at him, offended. “I can.”</p><p>Idriss rolls his eyes. “Yeah? How soon after Lucas getting his mouth on your dick were you proposing marriage?”</p><p>Manon giggles, and shockingly, Eliott too finds a laugh bubbling in his chest. “Shut up. I never did.” The teasing releases the tension in Eliott’s body like a popped balloon… or perhaps the opposite is true. An inflated balloon? He feels lighter than he has in days.</p><p>“Uh hunh,” Idriss responds, unconvinced. “Probably decided he was your soulmate the first time you got your dick inside him.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. The opportunity is just too good to pass up. “That’s between me and your bedroom.”</p><p>“My–” Idriss’s mouth drops open, his eyes widening in horror. “Oh no. No, no, no –” Manon interrupts him by physically pushing him away from Eliott and to exit at the side of the desk.</p><p>“Time to go, babe,” she laughs, throwing a wink back over her shoulder where Eliott grins smugly.</p><p>“This ain’t over!” Idriss yells back, but he allows himself to be pushed by Manon’s insistent hands. He gets one last word in, pointing a threatening finger at Eliott. “You’re lucky I love you, bro.”</p><p>“I know,” Eliott calls after them, chuckling as he watches Manon wrap an arm around Idriss and strong arm him down the hall. His size eclipses her own, and yet he somehow manages to look small in her arms.</p><p>Eliott exhales heavily. That was… a lot. But he’s the most hopeful he’s been since Idriss had first talked him out of his surrender to heartbreak. Hopeful and… confused. He’s so fucking confused. Does he trust what he saw or what he knows? His heart or his eyes? Will the choice even be up to him?</p><p>But patience – he can do that. He doesn’t care what Idriss says. He can be patient. He waited twenty-seven years for Lucas. What’s a few days more?</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“Lisa!” Eliott calls, jogging to catch up with her in the hall.</p><p>She turns, looking thoroughly annoyed at having been interrupted doing… well… nothing. But then, that’s Lisa.</p><p>“What?” It’s almost refreshing that she makes absolutely no effort at small talk.</p><p>“How’d Noah’s surgery go? I’ve been distracted and hadn’t heard anything about it.” He’s a little ashamed at exactly how distracted, especially considering how important the outcome of that surgery had been to Lucas. But Noah’s surgery hadn’t even been remotely on Eliott’s mind. It hadn’t been until Daphne had mentioned a different cardiac procedure that the thought had blipped into Eliott’s head. And with Lisa oddly enough being the only intern Eliott’s seen regularly with Jeremy, he figures she’s his best shot at news.  </p><p>Lisa stares at him blankly. “Who?”</p><p>Eliott sighs. He can’t believe he ever gave Lucas shit for not seeing patient’s as human beings – not learning their names – when a surgeon like Lisa exists.</p><p>“The surgery with Moreau. Noah. The sixteen-year-old boy.”</p><p>She doesn’t show a flicker of recognition, her face remaining blank, even as she answers in acknowledgement. “Oh that. Didn’t happen.” She turns to leave.</p><p>“Wha–” He leaps in front of her before she can go anywhere. “What do you mean it didn’t happen?”</p><p>She shrugs. “What I said. Got foisted onto another hospital. Moreau didn’t want it. Kid’s already in recovery.”</p><p>“But… why would he do that?”</p><p>Lisa doesn’t answer, because of course she doesn’t know. Her eyebrow flicks. “Can I go?”</p><p>“Oh, yeah.” Eliott moves aside. “Sorry.” Eliott leans back against the wall as Lisa leaves, mind spinning with possibilities. Why would Moreau give up a surgery that’s likely to end up in medical journals? A surgery that would only increase his fame? It’s his <em>raison d'être </em>as a surgeon – not to help people, but to create a name for himself, to work in a way that only strokes his ego. This doesn’t make sense. Nothing makes sense.</p><p>And the worst part is, the only person Eliott really wants to discuss it with is Lucas. With a frustrated sigh Eliott continues down the hall. He’d been distracted from his original destination when he’d seen Lisa. Millet had requested Eliott’s immediate assistance with a patient and even the delay in the hall to speak with Lisa has likely cost Eliott precious minutes he could be learning. Eliott’s surprised to realize he’s truly taken to the idea of being mentored by the talented doctor. He’s not yet entirely sold on the idea of orthopedics, but having someone he can learn from, someone he trusts and admires, has its advantages too.</p><p>There are a couple people in the elevator as Eliott approaches and they graciously hold the door for him. He jogs to hop on, offering them both a grateful smile as he turns around, and… Lucas. He’s just darted into the elevator after Eliott. He turns quickly, punching the number for his floor and staring straight ahead. Eliott clears his throat, reaching to do the same. Lucas is positioned just in front of him and Eliott takes advantage of the freedom to simply… look. The strands of Lucas’s hair are in their usual disarray. It’s gotten even longer and more unmanageable in the last few weeks, and Eliott wonders if he’ll get it cut. Eliott hopes not. The hair at his neck looks downy soft, and Eliott knows from experience, it is. His fingers twitch with the desire to touch. To press his hands into Lucas’s hair and tug, to pull his head to the side as Eliott pressed lips to his neck, right there, where that tiny mole peaks out from the collar of his jacket.</p><p>The elevator dings and they both step to the side to allow the others to get out onto the floor. Eliott’s heart stutters as he realizes… they’re alone. The elevator doors shut, and he hears Lucas suck in a laboured breath.</p><p>“Luc–”</p><p>“I wish I could hate you too,” Lucas says, voice so gentle and quiet it shouldn’t nearly shock Eliott as much as it does to hear it. “God, I wish I could hate you.”</p><p>“Lucas…” He’s not sure what he’s going to say but the elevator dings and the doors open before he’s able. No one gets in. The floor sits empty before them. Is this Lucas’s floor? He’s not getting out. Lucas reaches for the button to close the doors, slamming his thumb into it and turning to Eliott as the doors shut. Eliott inhales a sharp breath at the sight of him. Lucas’s eyes are rimmed red, deep bags under them speaking of the same sleepless nights Eliott’s become so accustomed to.</p><p>“I think I do sometimes. Hate you.” And then he’s leaping forward, hands clasping either side of Eliott’s face, and they’re kissing. Eliott doesn’t even need to tell his body how to respond. It knows. His arms immediately wrap around Lucas’s back, pulling him closer as their mouths slant together. And it’s relief – it’s such extraordinary relief to feel him like this again, to kiss him in a way Eliott had doubted would ever happen again. But it’s over just as quickly as it began. Lucas pulls back, hands tight on Eliott’s face, thumbs pressed to his cheeks. There are tears on his own, spilling over onto his cheeks, and Eliott desperately wants to kiss them away, to promise to do everything he can to prevent such a sight from happening ever again. “I fucking hate you,” Lucas says through a hiccuped sob. “I hate that I don’t hate you at all. I hate that I’m so fucking in love with you I can’t remember anything before you. But it remembers me.”</p><p>He… what? The doors to the elevator ding. No. Lucas is pushing him away. NO! Eliott reaches for him but Lucas has already spun out of his arms, dodging around the incoming people and disappearing down the hall. “No!” Eliott says it out loud and the few people getting on the elevator look at him oddly. “I’m sorry,” he begins shoving through them. “I need off. Excuse me. Sorry.” He almost falls out of the elevator, his legs suddenly as weak and boneless as paper. He bolts down the hall, stopping where it splits and staring back and forth down the empty corridors, body sagging in defeat. What does he do? Where does he go? Just as he turns, a different, familiar face appears, approaching with a smile. Millet. Fuck. Eliott had… totally forgotten. Nothing feels real. His thoughts are coming at too quick a pace to capture. He feels a lot like he’s floating. It’s not euphoria. Not yet. Not until he can know… for sure… that what just happened was real. That Lucas loves him back. That they’re in love with one another.</p><p>“Dr. Demaury,” Millet greets. “Excellent. Come along. I think you’ll find this case particularly interesting as I operated on this man only about two years back when he had the exact same tear to the ACL.” He pauses when he realizes Eliott is not at his side, looking back at him in confusion. “Are you coming?”</p><p>Fuck. Get it together, Eliott. Now is not the time. This is about more than Lucas, more than how they feel about one another. This is about their careers. Lucas himself said as much. And he’s right. But they can have both. Eliott will prove it to him. Fucking, move. His legs listen, jerking forward he stumbles slightly to catch up to Millet’s side with an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Dr. Millet. It’s been an odd day.”</p><p>“It’s the start of all of our weeks, Dr. Demaury, I’ll forgive the brain lag. Now then,” He continues down the hall, “as I was saying, when you have a repeated injury such as this…” Eliott does his best to pay attention, listening as Millet rattles off the details of the surgery two years prior, as well as the context behind the repeated injury, and current treatment plan, but he finds his mind drifting, back to the elevator… to Lucas.</p><p>
  <em>I’m so fucking in love with you I can’t remember anything before you. </em>
</p><p>He’d said it, hadn’t he? It’s real? Lucas loves him? Lucas loves him.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott doesn’t knock. He doesn’t announce his entry with a friendly inquiry. He slams the office door open with a satisfying and resounding bang. Moreau jolts awake from where he’d apparently been dozing in his office chair, feet propped to the desk. The fact that he’s disoriented and clearly doesn’t realize the fury of Eliott’s entry, somewhat takes away from its impact.</p><p>“Ah, Dr. Demasse,” he says affably, “what can I do for you?” He swings his feet down from the desk, looking cocky and relaxed. He reaches for a folder on the desk, straightening the contents as though to give the perception of being busy, and does not face Eliott fully. He’s a joke.</p><p>“You want to know what you can do for me?”</p><p>Moreau glances up from the paper, looking surprised by the animosity in Eliott’s voice. “Have I done something to offend? An <em>intern</em>?” He intends for his words to put Eliott in his place, to assert his position of power. He can go fuck himself.</p><p>“Leave Lucas alone.” The rage driving Eliott is causing his whole body to tremble and he inhales deeply through his nose, trying to calm the frantic pace of his heart and anxiety building in his blood. “You think you can get away with manipulating him – you think no one will stop you because – because no one has. For so long. It stops now.”</p><p>Moreau looks shocked for only a split second before his face relaxes into dry amusement. “Is that right? You speak for Lucas now?” He turns in his chair to face Eliott fully and reveals a deep bruise beneath the eye that had been until now, been kept from view. Eliott notes that it’s not just a deep bruise, but slight abrasion on his cheekbone as well. The sight spikes Eliott’s curiosity but he concentrates on the conversation at hand.</p><p>“I’m his friend.”</p><p>“Oh, I think we both know you’re not here as his <em>friend</em>.” He smiles and Eliott has never wanted to punch someone in the face more. “Jealousy is not a good look on you doctor.”</p><p>“I was jealous,” Eliott agrees, smiling in hopes he’s giving off the same confident affect. “I was jealous the first time I saw you in the bar with him before we’d ever started here at the hospital.” A flicker of surprise on Moreau’s face. It’s as Eliott suspected – Moreau had absolutely no idea it had been him. “And I was jealous when I saw you <em>kissing him</em> in the hall only last week. Here I thought these sorts of things were frowned upon. An attending and an intern. That’s quite a power imbalance.”</p><p>Moreau recovers quickly, his voice showing none of his surprise, and no concern at the implied threat. “Ah, so you’re here not just as the boyfriend, but as a member of the ethics board. Here to preach morality to me?”</p><p><em>Morals</em>. What a fucking joke. Like Moreau knows the meaning of the word. “I don’t think morals are what the hospital will concern themselves with – the liability of a superior taking advantage of a subordinate, however? I think they might concern themselves with that.”</p><p>Moreau’s unbruised eye twitches. “Is this an attempt to blackmail me?”</p><p>“No. I don’t give a fuck about you. I want Lucas safe and he’s not safe with you.”</p><p>“And you thought… what?” Moreau raises his eyebrows in challenge. “You’d come here – <em>threaten</em> me – and then… pick me up and toss me from the hospital grounds?” His voice is mocking. “I know you interns have a flair for the melodrama, but that’s a little much.”</p><p>Eliott ignores the question. “Whatever Lucas chooses – whatever or <em>whoever </em>he wants, I’ll be here for him. You think no one cares – his dad didn’t – why should anyone else? But I do. I always will. If you think you can continue to prey on him –”</p><p>“Alright – enough!” Moreau stands abruptly, cutting Eliott off. “Your posturing is noted.” His eyes flick up and down Eliott as though gauging how much of a physical threat he really might be, before he turns back to the desk, busying himself with collecting various papers. “I would hate to think you’d go to so much trouble, however, when your attentions are hardly necessary. Unless it’s the senior Lallemant you’re concerned about.”</p><p>Eliott’s face pulls together in confusion, unable to follow the implication behind Moreau’s words. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“You haven’t heard then,” Moreau continues with a forcibly relaxed smile. It’s obvious he knows Eliott is unaware of whatever it is he’s referring to. “I’m joining Dr. Lallemant’s private practice. I’ve grown weary of the demands of a hospital – of its interns.” He pauses to glance back at Eliott, who stands frozen in shock. “So, unless you feel I’d be a threat to your Lucas from four hundred kilometers away, I think you can deflate that puffed up chest of yours and be on your way.”</p><p>“You’re leaving.” It’s the last thing Eliott expected. He’s too shocked to even feel relief, confusion remaining at the forefront of his mind. Leaving to work with Lucas’s father. The thought of the two doctors working together brings as much discomfort as it does clarity. This is what Lucas has been up against. Two despicable, powerful men with a place in his life he hadn’t chosen for himself. Eliott might not know the full story, but he feels certain nothing good could be said about either man’s role in Lucas’s life.</p><p>“I am,” Moreau agrees. “Now if you could –”</p><p>“When?”</p><p>Moreau sighs, irritated. “By the end of today, in fact.” No one leaves a job that fast – without notice – not without being forced to do so. “I assume that satisfies?” He mocks. “I would say I’m quite done with this conversation now, doctor. I’d ask you to leave.”</p><p>Eliott nods, too thrown by this news to do more than turn around and exit the office, mind spinning with a million questions and possibilities. Moreau slams the door after him and Eliott continues down the hall, his destination unclear. He doesn’t understand how getting more answers only ever seems to lead to more questions.</p><p>When Eliott returns to the surgical floor, wandering in a sort of spaced-out daze towards the locker room, he catches sight of Dr. Millet, and re-routes course in his direction.</p><p>“Dr. Millet?”</p><p>Millet looks up from the chart he’d been reading to smile at Eliott. “Dr. Demaury. I thought you would have left by now.”</p><p>“No, uh… I went to see Moreau.”</p><p>Millet’s smile drops. “You did. May I ask what that was regarding?”</p><p>“He’s leaving?” Eliott asks, skipping over Millet’s question entirely.</p><p>Millet clears his throat, looking down to the chart in his hands though his focus is clearly not on the words in front of him. “Yes, indeed.”</p><p>“But… why? What happened?”</p><p>Millet sighs, dropping his clipboard to his waist as he looks back up. “I’m sorry, Dr. Demaury – Eliott, for not listening as well as perhaps I should have when you first came to me with your concerns.”</p><p>Eliott eyes widen in surprise. “You… what?” Constant surprise has apparently rendered Eliott incoherent.</p><p>Millet smiles, kindly, but with regret keeping the smile from reaching his eyes. “I understand now that what you’d been trying to alert me to, was the inappropriate behaviour of Dr. Moreau to a fellow intern. I want to be clear that while my behaviour may not have implied as much, I take such things very seriously and so does our Chief of Surgery. I hope you will be able to trust that you can come to me with any such concerns in the future – though I hope there should be no reason to do so.”</p><p>Eliott’s mind is spinning. “You know about… them?”</p><p>Millet reaches forward to briefly squeeze Eliott’s shoulder. “I’ll allow your friend to tell you the rest. I don’t believe it’s my place.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Ok, um… thank you.”</p><p>“No thank you’s necessary,” Millet chuckles. “It’s my responsibility to not only teach you, but protect you, as a mentor and… a friend.”</p><p> Eliott smiles, genuine and warm. “Ok.”</p><p>Millet returns his smile, his own filled with affection. “I’ll see you tomorrow then, Dr. Demaury.”</p><p>“See you tomorrow,” Eliott agrees, watching as Dr. Millet turns and departs down the hall.</p><p>It’s bolstering to know he was right about Millet – right to admire and to trust him. But there’s a huge missing piece of this puzzle and it’s integral to understanding the picture as a whole. There’s only one person he can get that from. He needs to find Lucas.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott braces himself and knocks. He shoves his hands in his pockets to hide the way they’re shaking. The last thing he expects is to see Anna’s face when the door opens. She looks equally confused to see him.</p><p>“Eliott? What are you doing here?”</p><p>“What am I – what are <em>you </em>doing here?”</p><p>She smiles sweetly, glancing back to where someone out of sight is making noise in the kitchen, before looking back to Eliott. “Yann’s making me dinner.”</p><p>“Oh.” That makes sense. This is just… a factor Eliott hadn’t considered.</p><p>“Wait.” Her eyes widen with understanding. “You’re here for Lucas?”</p><p>Before Eliott can answer, Yann is popping his head out of the kitchen. “Was that the –” He cuts off. “Eliott.”</p><p>“Hey,” Eliott doesn’t waste any time, “is Lucas here?”</p><p>Yann comes to stand next to Anna, a hand moving to her back. It doesn’t appear as though he’s doing it in a possessive way at all – like staking a claim – it looks natural and affectionate. It’s sweet.</p><p>“No, sorry. He’s at Manon’s.” He looks to Anna with a smile. “Gave us the place to ourselves tonight.”</p><p>“Ok. Do you – could I have the address?”</p><p>“Listen, man,” he sighs, “Lucas has been through a lot and –”</p><p>“Yann,” Eliott cuts him off, “I know. <em>I</em> <em>know</em>.” He lets Yann consider him for a moment. “I’m not going to hurt him. That’s the last thing I want to do.”</p><p>“Yann,” Anna prompts gently, her own hand moving to rub against his shoulders.</p><p>“Ok,” Yann agrees. “For the record though,” He gives Eliott a pointed look, “it’s not just him I’m worried about. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott exhales a heavy breath, “I’m pretty done with that myself.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott is prepared to see Manon’s face when the door opens, and she doesn’t look entirely surprised to see him either. Whether that is because Yann warned her, or she simply expected Eliott would come looking for Lucas, he can’t be sure.</p><p>“Eliott,” she greets quietly, furtively glancing behind her before slightly closing the door, so it’s only her body he sees in the wedge of opening, “I’m sorry, I don’t think this is a good time.”</p><p>“He’s here?” Eliott questions, rising panic in his voice at the thought of being denied entry. “Please, Manon. I have to see him.”</p><p>She looks pained. “I know. But Eliott, he’s not ready. You need to let him come to you.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott pleads with growing desperation. “He won’t. He hasn’t. He thinks I don’t want him. He thinks he fucked it up. I know him. Please,” he presses his hand to the door, “let me come in.”</p><p>“I can’t, Eliott.”</p><p>“But you said – you <em>said</em> I knew him. I do. <em>I do</em>. I want to be with him.” He can tell his words are having an effect, but Manon will not budge in her decision, looking regretful at having to refuse him. “Lucas!” Eliott yells instead, pushing forward into the sliver of space where the door rests open. “LUCAS!” Manon’s hand presses flat to his chest.</p><p>“Eliott, stop. This won’t help!”</p><p>“Lucas!” He calls again, weaker now, words caught on a sob. “Please.”</p><p>The door is suddenly being pulled open but it’s not Lucas coming into view, it’s Idriss.</p><p>“Idriss?” Eliott whispers, tears spilling over in his hopelessness.</p><p>Idriss nods at Manon, “Go. I got him,” before he moves forward, arm locking around Eliott’s shoulders to pull him away.</p><p>“No,” Eliott fights his best friend’s hold but it’s ineffectual at best. He’s weak with grief, overwhelmed by the emotional toll of the past few days. He’s exhausted. “Idriss.”</p><p>“I know,” Idriss comforts, pulling Eliott into him with a strong arm as he walks them down the hall. “You’re gonna be ok.”</p><p>Idriss only stops when they’re outside the building. He steers them to a nearby bench, keeping his arm around Eliott’s shoulders as he sits them both down and hugging him close until Eliott gives in, dropping his head to Idriss’s shoulder and sucking in shuddering breaths as his tears refuse to subside.</p><p>“Why were you there?” It’s not the most pertinent of questions, but it’s what Eliott finds himself asking.</p><p>“Was with Manon when the little asshole showed up,” Idriss explains.</p><p>“Don’t call him that.”</p><p>“Why not?” Idriss snorts. “He’s the reason you’re crying on my shoulder right now, isn’t he?”</p><p>Eliott sits up, wiping at his face as he looks at Idriss. “Why won’t he see me?”</p><p>“I dunno. Was trying to get him to but...” Idriss sighs with a frustrated shake of his head. “Showed up a fucking mess tonight. Barricaded himself in Manon’s room. Don’t think he has any idea what he’s doing right now.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, turning to stare out into the evening sunset. It’s beautiful. Romantic. It couldn’t feel less fitting. “He told me he loves me.”</p><p>“What?!” Idriss turns, hitting Eliott’s shoulder. “And you’re just telling me now?”</p><p>Eliott frowns at him, rubbing at his shoulder for effect. “It only just happened. Today. And he ran away before I could say anything back.”</p><p>“Shit,” Idriss exhales around a laugh. “You two are the dumbest gays –”</p><p>Eliott returns a punch of his own. “You don’t get to say that when you’re straight.”</p><p>Idriss laughs, hands raised in surrender. “Fine. But c’mon. Couple days ago, you were convinced Lucas wanted some boring, easy life without you. You gotta admit now, that kid is a dramatic little shit. He thrives on it.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees, but at the look Idriss gives him adds, “Ok, he can be a bit dramatic. But he’s been dealt a really shitty hand. He’s just doing his best – doing what he thinks is best. And… I like it – <em>love it</em>. The way that he is.”</p><p>Idriss stretches his arms across the back of the bench, tipping his head back to look at the evening sky. “Yeah. That’s pretty obvious, bro.”</p><p>“I wish he’d let me tell him,” Eliott laments, adopting Idriss’s reclined position as they stare up at the sky. It’s not late enough for stars to be out, but the view is decorated by a smattering of colourful clouds, painted the colours of the sunset.</p><p>Idriss tilts his head towards him and Eliott does the same to meet his gaze. “He will. But maybe dial back the drama and stop chasing him around the city.”</p><p>Eliott pouts, stubbornly turning his face away. “I don’t think I will.”</p><p>Idriss chuckles, sitting up straight and slapping a hand down to Eliott thigh. “Let’s get you home before you set your brain to any other dumbass ways to declare your undying love.”</p><p>“That’s not very supportive,” Eliott complains, though he’s not particularly bothered. His best friend has a way of putting things into perspective that always leaves Eliott feeling more hopeful and restored. “And I can find my own way home. Go back to Manon.”</p><p>Idriss considers him for a moment. “You sure?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott assures, standing up from the bench as Idriss follows suit. “Go be with your girlfriend. And… make sure he…” His breath hitches. “Make sure Lucas is ok.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Idriss scoffs, “if I’m gonna worry about anyone, it’s gonna be you.”</p><p>“Stop picking sides. This isn’t like that.”</p><p>Idriss looks at him in challenge. “Hey, if you two can be all high school about this shit, so can I. And I’m picking fucking sides.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, shaking his head with a smile, and steps forward, pulling Idriss into a hug. Idriss always gives the best hugs, fully wrapping strong arms around Eliott and holding him tightly. “Thank you,” Eliott says as he clings to Idriss. “I think I would’ve lost it without you.”</p><p>“Nah,” Idriss disagrees, releasing Eliott from the hug and moving a hand to ruffle through his hair. “You’d be fine.” He turns to walk back into the building, turning back to add, “And you and Lucas got that whole soulmate thing going on. You’d figure it out eventually.” He wiggles an eyebrow. “I’m just here to speed up the process.”</p><p>“Idriss,” Eliott warns, “don’t push him.”</p><p>“Uh hunh.” Idriss smirks, turning as he opens the door to the building.</p><p>“Idriss!” The only response this time is a wave over his shoulder as Idriss moves towards the buzzers inside the building.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott arrives home to an empty apartment. Alex is with Emma, and he knows Lucille is out with Chloe which means she likely won’t be back any time soon. The silence is welcome and… not. He doesn’t want to be questioned – to once again face Lucille’s well-meaning concern – but he’s not thrilled with the idea of being alone with only his thoughts for company either.</p><p>He misses Lucas. He can’t help but wish for more evidence of Lucas in his life – pictures tacked up around his room, Lucas’s shirts in his dresser, a comic book creased on pages Lucas had read and re-read. Eliott wants unhealthy snacks in his bedside drawer, and their favourite brand of lube. He just wants… Lucas. Here. An indisputable part of his life.</p><p>Instead when he walks in his bedroom, he’s met by bleak silence. An empty bed and… no Lucas. Not even a trace of him. The only real presence he has of Lucas is on his phone. Eliott strips down to his briefs, using the bathroom before collapsing into bed and pulling up Lucas’s Instagram. It’s pathetic. He knows it is. But there’s Lucas’s smiling face, right at his fingertips. Eliott scrolls down until he finds the photo he’s looking for. It’s from before they’d ever met, but Eliott loves it. Lucas is laughing. He looks happy. Happy and so incredibly beautiful. It’s all Eliott would ever want for him. It’s everything Eliott would give him.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Eliott scrolls back up, back through their most recent pics, his own face, until he notices Lucas has a new story. He clicks on it.</p><p>
  
</p><p>That’s… that has to be for Eliott. There is no other way to interpret that… right? It’s meant for him. It’s the quote Eliott couldn’t remember. But is this good or bad? The meaning behind it is different than the message Eliott had given Lucas in his inscription in the book. His own message to Lucas had been a subtle declaration of love. This is a lesson to follow one’s heart. And what does that mean to Lucas? What should it mean to Eliott? He groans, blacking out his phone screen and slamming it down on his bedside table before rolling over and curling around a pillow. He can’t keep doing this. He’s exhausted. It <em>is </em>too much. And, <em>god</em>, isn’t that the worst sort of irony. Maybe it’s all just too much. Maybe Lucas was right.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>At some point Eliott falls asleep. He has no recollection of doing so, exhaustion forcing him to slip into unconsciousness while the lights in his room are still on and his sheets lay crumpled at his feet. He wakes shivering and confused, what must be hours later, still curled around a pillow, certain that something has woken him but with no idea what – not until he hears a knock at their apartment door echoing through the apartment. It’s so quiet that he’s surprised it woke him at all. Though Eliott supposes that probably has something to do with the fact that he hasn’t had a proper restful night of sleep since the last time he had Lucas in his arms. The thought is like a fist punching through his ribcage to grip his heart, and he quickly sits up, pressing a hand to his chest with a pained inhale before he stands. A quick look at the time on his phone tells him it’s 1 in the morning. He’s going to kill Lucille. She’s always forgetting her keys – and by that he means, she regularly gets happily wasted with Chloe and forgets her keys are in her purse.</p><p>Eliott wipes at his eyes with a yawn as he walks to the door, raking a hand through his hair and preparing himself to give her a glare like no other. The face revealed when he opens the door, however, is the one he’s least prepared to see.</p><p>Lucas.</p><p>Eliott mouth drops open, body freezing in shock. Lucas’s arms are wrapped around himself. He’s only in a thin t-shirt, and while it’s been relatively warm in the evenings, he’s not wearing near enough, clear in the way he’s shivering. He looks up at Eliott with uncertain, exhausted eyes.</p><p>“I can’t sleep without you,” he whispers, eyes filling with tears. “I’m sorry.” His whole body begins to tremble. He looks on the verge of collapse. It’s the first time in days Eliott knows exactly what to do.</p><p>Eliott takes one step forward and drags Lucas into a tight hug. Lucas collapses into him, clutching desperately to Eliott’s back as he presses a cold face into his neck.</p><p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” He’s repeating it over and over again, body shaking in Eliott’s arms.</p><p>Eliott drags him backwards into the apartment, letting the door shut behind him. The relief of having Lucas in his arms has tears springing to Eliott’s eyes and he squeezes them shut, pressing one hand up into Lucas’s hair and pulling him even closer.</p><p>“Me too,” Eliott whispers, words choked. “I’m sorry too.”</p><p>“I love you.” Lucas whispers it so quietly, if Eliott hadn’t already heard those words from Lucas, he would have thought he imagined them.</p><p>Eliott uses the hand in Lucas’s hair to pull his head back far enough for them to look into one another’s eyes. Lucas is crying, tears tracking down his face as he sniffles. He looks terrified – the sort of fear that comes with such a declaration when you’re not sure how it will be received. Eliott never wants him to doubt how Eliott feels about him. Never again. Not anymore.</p><p>Eliott moves both hands to cup his face, brushing his tears away with gentle thumbs before he leans forward, pressing kisses to the tear tracks on Lucas’s face, following them up and pressing a kiss to each of Lucas’s eyelids as they flutter shut. He presses another kiss to the tip of Lucas’s nose before tipping their foreheads together, and exhaling, breathing out all the doubt, all the fear.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whispers, the tips of their noses brushing as he speaks the words onto Lucas’s lips, “I love you too.”</p><p>Lucas tenses in his hands. It sounds as though he’s stopped breathing entirely, and he tips his head back and away from Eliott’s, eyes wide and disbelieving.</p><p>“You do?”</p><p>Eliott can’t help the smile that splits his face, an uncontrollable response to the perfect awe on Lucas’s. “Yes. You really hadn’t figured that out yet? I’m in love with you, Lucas.”</p><p>“But –” Lucas begins and Eliott can see the doubts manifesting as though a physical presence between them.</p><p>“I don’t care about the rest,” Eliott cuts him off, smile dropping with the seriousness of the words he speaks. “We’ll figure it out. We have to. I won’t lose you. I can’t.”</p><p>“Me neither.” Lucas’s hands move to press to Eliott’s bare chest. “I can’t –” His voice breaks. “I need you. Only you. Never anyone else – only you.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott will never tire of saying his name, “since I met you – you’re the only thing that mattered.”</p><p>“You hated me,” Lucas whispers. Eliott doubts he even believes his own words.</p><p>“No,” Eliott says with a huffed laugh. “I wanted you. Badly. <em>You </em>hated me.”</p><p>The corners of Lucas’s mouth twitch as he looks up through his lashes. “No. I wanted you. And it pissed me off.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, loud and abrupt, grin stretched across his face. Joy radiates from his chest in a way he can’t contain any longer – has no desire to. “Why?”</p><p>Lucas’s lips tug into a cheeky smile. And even with tears tracking down his face, Eliott can’t remember ever seeing a more perfect smile. “Because… you have that face. Those eyes and… lips.” Butterflies take flight in Eliott’s chest. He moves a hand to thread back in Lucas’s hair, eyes dropping to his lips. “It’s not fair,” Lucas’s voice drops to a whisper. “I wasn’t supposed to meet you yet.”</p><p>Eliott’s forehead wrinkles, eyes traveling back up to meet Lucas’s in question. “When were you supposed to meet me?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs just slightly, licking his lips nervously, his eyes moving to his hands on Eliott’s chest. “When I didn’t have anything to prove. When I was ready.”</p><p>Eliott smooths the back of his hand across Lucas’s cheek. “Ready for what?”</p><p>“You.” He looks up, eyes anxious but steady. “I think you’re the love of my life.”</p><p>Eliott kisses him. It feels like coming home. Like finding comfort and belonging in a person –<em> with </em>a person. Eliott never knew to even wish for such a thing. And yet it feels like discovering the most precious thing in your life, when you hadn’t even realized you were missing it – that he’d been waiting, for so many years, for this. This person. His Lucas. Never could he have imagined Lucas was waiting for him too.</p><p>Eliott moves his hands down to below Lucas’s ass and Lucas takes the hint, jumping to wind his legs around Eliott’s waist. Eliott keeps a strong arm looped around his ass, the other on his thigh, as he breaks their kiss to spin around and begin walking to the bedroom. Lucas leans back slightly, one hand at the back of Eliott’s neck, the other threading through his hair. He smiles, bright and happy.</p><p>“Not gonna drop me this time?”</p><p>Eliott huffs, rolling his eyes as he turns the corner into the hall. “Of course not.  That time was your faul–” Lucas loosens his legs, allowing his body to slide lower on Eliott’s hips, and in doing so, he effectively grinds their lower halves together. Eliott trips.</p><p>Lucas, who likely didn’t actually expect Eliott to trip in such a dramatic fashion, yelps loudly, hold loosening as he begins to drop his legs in an attempt to save them both. Eliott stubbornly tightens his grip and turns their bodies instead, directing his forward momentum towards the wall and slamming Lucas up against in with an echoing bang. They stare at one another, face to face with bodies crushed together. Eliott’s breath is coming hard and fast but he manages a smirk.</p><p>“Didn’t expect that, did ya?”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas’s face in contrast is serious – almost grave, “I want you to fuck me bare.”</p><p>This time Eliott does drop him. In his defense, Lucas doesn’t go far, legs simply dropping easily to the ground as he’s released, and Eliott’s choking on his own saliva so oxygen seems a more pertinent concern at present than keeping a hold on Lucas. When he manages to stop his diaphragm from heaving and gulp a necessary amount of air, Eliott looks back up to see Lucas’s face has flushed to a deep red. Despite his telltale blush, there’s a defiant look in his eyes, and he tips his chin up slightly as Eliott stares at him as if to say, <em>‘You heard me.’</em></p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott moves back into his space, pressing a hand to the heat of Lucas’s cheek, a thumb running across Lucas’s lower lip when his mouth drops open, “are you su–”</p><p>“Jesus,” Lucas interrupts with a huff. “Are you gonna ask me that every time? Have I ever given you an order when I’ve been unsure? I know what I’m doing, Eliott.”</p><p>“Given me an order?” Eliott’s mouth curls into a slanted smile. “Is that what that was?”</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas scoffs. “You know what I mean.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, pressing a kiss to Lucas’s heated cheek before he drags his lips back to his ear. “You’re ordering me to fuck you, skin to skin. No condom.” Lucas shudders in his arms, hands moving to Eliott’s shoulders with nails immediately digging into his skin.</p><p>“I’m– I’m clean.” His voice shakes with every word.</p><p>Eliott chuckles, pulling Lucas’s earlobe into his mouth and scraping teeth across it before he answers. “I remember. Showered, did you?”</p><p>Lucas thwacks his shoulder with the heel of a hand. “Fuck off.” Eliott laughs, rising back far enough to look at his face, insolent even in the midst of his embarrassment. God, he missed that face. “But, yes,” Lucas adds. “That too. Manon made me. She said I smelled.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed, diving forward to bury his face in Lucas’s neck and sniffing with exaggeration as Lucas laughs, hitting him again against the shoulder. “I love how you smell,” Eliott admits as he raises his face. “Always. Even stinky you.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, looping his arms around Eliott’s neck as he leans back against the wall. “I’ve never been stinky around you.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Eliott disagrees with a cocky smile. “Definitely smelled like spunk on more than one occasion.”</p><p>“You idiot,” Lucas laughs, and Eliott has to kiss him, diving in for a kiss that lasts longer than he intended, leaving them both panting by the time he pulls back. “Think I will this time?” The question makes no sense to Eliott. He can’t remember the stream of conversation enough give it context. Lucas seems to realize this, a teasing smile on his face as he pulls Eliott close enough to have their lips brushing together as he speaks. “When you come inside me. Will I smell like you then?”</p><p>Eliott squeezes his eyes shut, inhaling deeply as he tries to rein in the reaction of his body. He’s not gonna last long enough to get his bare cock inside Lucas if he keeps this up. “Fuck.” Eliott opens his eyes and abruptly pushes back from the wall, grabbing Lucas’s hand and dragging him towards the bedroom. “Come on.”</p><p>Lucas laughs, clearly delighted by the level of desperation guiding Eliott’s movements as he follows him in. Eliott moves immediately for his bedside table, pulling out the lube, fingers running over the condoms before he shuts it once more. Pressing a hand to where his cock stretches the front of his cotton briefs, he breathes deeply, searching for a measure of the self-control he seems to have with everyone <em>but </em>Lucas.</p><p>“Locked?” Lucas’s voice asks from behind him.</p><p>Eliott turns to see where Lucas is fiddling with the lock in the handle. “Yeah. No one else is home but… yeah.”</p><p>Lucas manages to sort the finicky lock and looks back up with a proud smile. He’s ridiculous. Fuck, Eliott really loves him.</p><p>“So…” Lucas strips himself of his shirt as he advances on Eliott, giving his sweatpants and briefs the same treatment once he’s standing next to the bed. “That was a yes? On the whole… no condom thing?” He’s being cheeky and playful, but Eliott can recognize the nerves buried beneath.</p><p>Eliott raises the lube in his hand, tossing it to the bed, before looking back at Lucas. “No condom. As long as you’re su–”</p><p>“I swear to god!” Lucas yells, pulling Eliott in for a kiss. They’re both laughing too hard to make it much of a kiss, and Lucas tugs at Eliott’s hair, tilting his head back. “Fucking asshole.”</p><p>Eliott hums, gliding hands down Lucas’s back until he reaches his ass, sliding one down between his ass cheeks until his searching fingers find what he’s looking for. “That’s the plan.”</p><p>“God,” Lucas croaks, looking torn between his desire to mock Eliott, and a much more pressing need to respond to Eliott’s prodding fingers. His eyes flutter shut. “I hate you.”</p><p>Eliott breaches him with just the tip of a dry finger. “No,” He moves his free hand back up, weaving it through Lucas’s hair and gripping tightly until Lucas’s eyes blink open, “you don’t.”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas croaks, gaze frenzied with need, “please.”</p><p>“On the bed,” Eliott commands, releasing him to rid himself of his own briefs, only to immediately follow when Lucas crawls up onto the bed. “Wait,” Eliott suggests before Lucas can turn onto his back. Eliott grabs Lucas’s hips, manhandling him until his ass faces the headboard. Eliott lays down, positioning his head on a pillow, and with his back to the mattress. “Now come here.”</p><p>Lucas looks over his shoulder, brow wrinkled in confusion until the question in his gaze clears. “Sixty-nine?”</p><p>Eliott has to chuckle at the excitement in Lucas’s tone. “Not exactly. Sit on my face – but backwards. I want to eat you out.” <em>If that’s ok</em>. He doesn’t say it, knowing Lucas would give him shit if he did. And knowing – trusting that Lucas will say something if its not.</p><p>In fact, Lucas doesn’t seem to know what to say. He stares at Eliott with mouth parted before he drops his head between his shoulders. His cock hangs heavy between his legs, pink and dripping. Eliott’s mouth waters at the sight. “Ok.” Lucas’s voice is raw with need. “Yeah. Ok.”</p><p>“Have you before?” Eliott asks as Lucas moves to straddle his chest, hands pressed to stabilize himself on Eliott’s ribcage.</p><p>Lucas twists to look at Eliott. “Once. My first boyfriend.” He laughs a little, shaking his head at the memory. “I think he saw it in porn and, uh… he wanted to try it.” He looks at Eliott for an extended moment. “I didn’t like it.”</p><p>Eliott smirks, moving his hands to grip Lucas’s hips. “Let’s see if I can do a little better.” He tightens his hold and hauls Lucas back, stopping when Lucas’s ass is positioned just in front of Eliott’s tilted face. Lucas makes a small sound, falling forward with hands on Eliott’s abs. Lucas is fairly spread from his straddled position, but Eliott glides hands over his cheeks, kneading the plump flesh before spreading him further. He moves a finger over Lucas’s puckered hole, watching as it tenses and Lucas moans, fingernails scraping across Eliott’s skin. Eliott stretches a hand behind himself, jamming the pillows up further under his head and tilting forward until he can lick around the opening, quick, gentle touches of his tongue against the sensitive area, letting Lucas get used to the sensation. He can hear Lucas suck in a laboured breath before going silent and still.</p><p>Eliott takes his time, swiping his tongue over and over the opening, until Lucas exhales, melting down onto Eliott’s body, dropping the full weight of his body and pressing his forehead to Eliott’s lower stomach. His hair flops forward, tickling Eliott’s cock, and Eliott had to pull back for a second to take a shuddering breath, before he dives in once more, prodding at Lucas’s wet hole with a pointed tongue, flicking it to pull at the edges.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas moans. His body is rocking slightly, an unconscious movement he doesn’t seem to be aware he’s making. He grinds back against Eliott’s tongue as though trying to fuck himself on it. Eliott moves his other hand to Lucas’s other cheek, to steady him. The moment Eliott’s fingers land on the heated skin between his cheeks, Lucas’s nails dig into Eliott’s abs. “Oh fuck! Eliott. Your rings. Fuck.”</p><p>Eliott pauses, pulling back his face slightly as he considers Lucas’s words, before smirking. The rings of the hand he’s moved to Lucas’s ass rest against the heated skin. Eliott lifts his hand, turning it to brush the cold metal against Lucas’s hole, satisfied when Lucas groans and begins mouthing at the skin of Eliott’s stomach. “Feel good?” Eliott croaks, doing it again, when suddenly, Lucas is shifting and then… <em>oh holy fuck</em>… he’s mouthing at the tip of Eliott’s cock.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott grunts, hips twitching up into Lucas’s mouth. “Fucking hell.”</p><p>Encouraged by Eliott’s reaction, Lucas dips lower, sucking the head of Eliott’s cock into his mouth. And two can play that game. Eliott returns his mouth to Lucas’s ass, pressing his tongue in harder, slipping past the rim and into Lucas’s hole. Lucas whimpers, squirming as he tries to grind his erection down against Eliott’s chest. Eliott presses his tongue in even further, licking at the soft walls of Lucas’s body. Lucas pulls up and off his cock, panting as he gives himself over to the sensation of Eliott’s tongue, before he dives back, taking Eliott deeper into his mouth, and – <em>fuck</em> – Eliott really isn’t going to make it if Lucas keeps doing that.</p><p>Eliott drops his head back, releasing Lucas’s ass in order to reach for the lube on the bed next to them, quickly going about slicking up a couple fingers. The reprieve, however, has allowed Lucas to focus on sucking Eliott. And if his goal is to affect Eliott in the same way he’s being affected, he’s going to be more than satisfied with the results unless Eliott can manage to distract him really damn fast. Lucas has sunk low enough that Eliott’s erection hits the back of his throat and he gags, pulling off with a splutter and cough. Eliott takes advantage, spreading him open once more and wasting no time in pressing a slick finger into his body. Lucas, who didn’t expect this sudden intrusion, slaps a hand down to the mattress next to Eliott’s body, groaning deeply. Eliott leans forward to lick the ring of muscle clenched tightly around his finger, and Lucas begins swearing.</p><p>“Oh fuck. Eli – oh god.” He drives his cock down against Eliott, grinding back against his finger and tongue as he does so. “That feels – don’t stop – fuck. Yes!”</p><p>Eliott does as told, pulling his finger out only enough to allow him to add a second. He pulls back his mouth, concentrating on plunging his fingers into Lucas again and again, twisting and stretching his hole. Blessedly, Lucas seems to have forgotten entirely about Eliott’s dick, mouth pressed to Eliott’s stomach once more as he whimpers and grinds his body down against him.</p><p>“Eli – Eliott,” Lucas moans. “Baby. I’m– god – you need to stop or I’m gonna – oh fuck – I’m gonna come.”</p><p><em>That’s the point</em>, he doesn’t say. Announcing that his plan is for Lucas to come before he ever gets Eliott’s inside him, so Eliott can at least comfort himself with the fact that Lucas has already orgasmed, when Eliott does so within two seconds of being inside him bare, is not exactly information he’s all that eager to share. Instead he pulls his fingers from Lucas’s body. Lucas exhales in relief. Eliott only gives him a second to think he’s being allowed a chance to recover, before he plunges back in, spreading Lucas’s cheeks widely, and pressing his tongue deeply into Lucas’s stretched hole.</p><p>Lucas sucks in a frantic breath, fingernails biting into Eliott’s skin, before he wails and… he’s coming. He grinds down, cock shooting strings of come against Eliott’s chest, and he jerks as though to escape Eliott’s hold. Eliott tightens his hands, pulling Lucas back even more firmly against his mouth as he plunges his tongue as deep as he can get it, ignoring the ache of his jaw as he draws out Lucas’s pleasure for as long as his beautiful boy can stand it. Lucas stops fighting his hold, body collapsing down against Eliott as he trembles with the aftershocks of his orgasm. He makes a tiny, pitiful sound when Eliott pulls his tongue from his body, licking delicately around his hole. Lucas makes no move to get off Eliott, collapsed after the force of his orgasm. Eliott would probably take great pride in this if it weren’t for the very desperate matter of his own throbbing erection. With a grip to Lucas’s sides, Eliott rolls him off, until he lays sprawled on the mattress. Lucas hums happily, letting his legs fall open as he shuts his eyes in a blissful post-orgasm state.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott says, sitting up to kneel between his legs, and <em>fuck</em>, his own voice sounds like <em>he’s </em>the one who had a cock down his throat, “do you want me to…” He’s not even sure what’s he’s suggesting. But his plan has left Lucas looking like he’s in no state to receive Eliott’s dick.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas rumbles, voice scratchy and satisfied. He blinks his eyes open, looking up at Eliott with an eyebrow raised. “If you don’t put your cock inside me, I’m taking back my ‘I love you’.”</p><p>Eliott snorts, face stretching into an amused grin. “You can’t do that.”</p><p>“No?” Lucas pulls his legs up, bending them at the knee and gripping the back of his thighs as he folds himself in the most provocative of challenges. “Guess you won’t find out.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott croaks, moving a hand to grip his erection. “Lucas.”</p><p>“C’mon,” Lucas encourages. “Fuck me.”</p><p>“Ok.” Eliott nods, frantically. Grabbing for the lube with a shaking hand and quickly slicking up his cock. Oh god. He’s fucking Lucas bare. They’re… they’re doing this. Eliott has never done this. Not with anyone. He and Lucille had been too young, and her far too paranoid about the efficacy of birth control, particularly if she missed a pill by accident. And Eliott had never wanted to with anyone else. A couple guys had asked but it had always felt like… too much. Like he was saying something he didn’t mean to be saying, promising something he never intended. He’d always felt like he was waiting. He hadn’t understood it at the time and neither had any of the people he’d turned down. He gets it now. It’s not too much. Not when it’s Lucas. Eliott props himself over Lucas with one hand planted beside his head, his other gripping his erection. He holds his breath as he pressed the head of his cock against Lucas’s hole, watching as Lucas’s body stretches to accommodate him, swallowing his dick and gripping it in perfect heat. Eliott shudders, feeding more of his cock into Lucas’s body as Lucas groans beneath him, legs moving to fold behind Eliott’s back as his hands press to Eliott’s chest, rubbing his own come into the skin.  </p><p>With half his cock inside Lucas’s body, Eliott pulls back, leaving only the tip inside, before he thrusts back in, grunting as his pelvis slaps against Lucas’s ass. It’s unlike anything Eliott’s ever felt. Skin against skin.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas breathes, eyes wide and locked on Eliott. A strand of hair has fallen onto his forehead, stuck in sweat. Eliott moves a hand to press it back, collapsing down onto his elbows as he keeps fingers woven in Lucas’s hair, gripping tightly as he pulls his hips back and slams back in. Face-to-face with Lucas, bare cock gripped by the heat of Lucas’s body, it feels more intimate than anything Eliott’s ever experienced. He keeps himself buried deep as he leans down to kiss Lucas. The kiss is gentler, sweeter than anything they’re doing would suggest, and it’s then that Eliott realizes this is the very first time he’s truly understood the term ‘making love’.</p><p>“Baby,” he whispers, licking at Lucas’s lips before plunging in to sweep their tongues together. He rocks his hips back, before driving back into Lucas’s body in a long, hard thrust. Lucas breaks the kiss, pressing their foreheads together as he wraps his arms tightly around Eliott’s neck.</p><p>Eliott is losing focus, the rhythm of his thrusts, rough and uneven. He can feel is orgasm building, his balls pulling tightly to his body, and he squeezes his eyes shut, needing it but not wanting to stop – never wanting it to end. No barriers. Just him and Lucas.</p><p>“Eliott,” he hears Lucas whisper, breath hot against Eliott’s face until he’s pressing lips to his cheek, “Come on. Come inside me. Want it. Wanna feel you.”</p><p>It’s enough. Eliott chokes around a moan, fucking roughly into Lucas’s body in a series of increasingly desperate thrusts of his hips, until his orgasm sweeps over him. He collapses onto Lucas, pressing his face into Lucas’s neck, and shoving his cock as deeply as he can get it. He’s coming inside, Lucas. The feeling is surreal. The knowledge even more powerful than the sensation. Lucas must feel it too, moaning as he pets Eliott’s hair, and shuddering with each jerk of Eliott’s cock inside him.</p><p>Eliott moves his face back to Lucas’s, connecting their lips in a desperate, sloppy kiss that has Lucas breaking away with a laugh.</p><p>“Who taught you to kiss, average?”</p><p>Eliott grins. “Average, is it? After the fucking I just gave you?”</p><p>“Oh yeah,” Lucas snorts. “Lasted all of two minutes. Living up to your nickname.”</p><p>“Well,” Eliott smirks, “what was it before? Thirty seconds? I’m improving.” He grinds his hips up into Lucas where his cock still lays inside him, not yet softened, and is rewarded by the satisfying, if a little surprising, sight of Lucas throwing his head back with a moan. Eliott glances down their bodies to see… “You’re hard.” His voice is filled with a level of astonishment that feels appropriate. This too is a first.</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas says, sounding a lot like he’s complaining, “and if you would just…” He’s shuffling his legs around Eliott’s body, when suddenly he’s rolling them. He somehow manages to do so while only separating their bodies slightly, landing on top of Eliott and immediately grinding back down on his cock with a happy sigh. He spits in his hand bringing it to his erection and immediately jerking himself off with quick, determined strokes.</p><p>Eliott smirks, folding his arms behind his head as he looks up at Lucas. “It’s like that, is it, baby? Just using my body to get off.”</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas pants, eyes closed, and brow wrinkled as he concentrates, ass grinding just slightly to simulate Eliott fucking him, “now, shu – shut up.”</p><p>It’s not particularly comfortable. Eliott’s dick is beginning to ache with oversensitivity – like it’s confused about whether it’s allowed to soften. The discomfort is worth it a million times over for that look on Lucas’s face, the cute little frown at the corner of his mouth, and crease between his eyebrows, as he pulls himself off.</p><p>“You remember that time Mika asked me that question – about that fucking hernia or whatever?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes open, focusing on Eliott in confusion. “What?” His hand slightly slows its pace.</p><p>“I got it wrong. Mika didn’t even ask you if you knew the answer. You were such an asshole you just spoke up anyways. Do you remember?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes are unfocused, half caught up in his own pleasure, but they flicker with recognition. “Yeah.”</p><p>Eliott moves his arms, bringing hands to smooth up Lucas’s thighs. “I fucking wanted you then.”</p><p>He can see Lucas’s hand tighten around his cock. “You – you did?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott admits. “You were so fucking cocky – so smug. God, it pissed me off so much.”</p><p>Lucas’s tongue darts out to lick his lips. “But you – you –”</p><p>“I wanted you,” Eliott finishes for him. “I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Wanted to fuck you so badly. Kept imagining how.”</p><p>“How? How?” Lucas asks desperately, falling forward slightly to press a hand to Eliott’s chest as his hand picks up speed.</p><p>Eliott chuckles lowly, remembering the one particular fantasy that had gripped him. “Kept thinking about taking you in the breakroom… pushing you down on the table… fucking you from behind. Wanted to make you come so hard.” Lucas struggles to keep his eyes open, his hand a blur against his cock. “I kept imagining you begging, saying my name… over and over again. Wanted you to know you were mine.” He smiles a little, holding Lucas’s eyes. “Never imagined the real thing would be so much better.”</p><p>Lucas keens and he’s coming, blurting his release onto Eliott’s stomach. He rolls off Eliott with a groan the moment his orgasm releases it grip, flopping next to him on the bed, his breathing still quick and laboured. Eliott sighs in relief, looking down at his spent cock. Moving at all, never mind retrieving a cloth from the bathroom feels like a truly impossible task, but Eliott knows if he doesn’t move now, they’ll regret it later. He rolls himself to a sit, looking back at Lucas to see the other boy’s eyes are already on him.</p><p>“I’m gonna go grab something to wash up. Don’t move.”</p><p>The halls are silent when Eliott pops his head out, the lights he’d left on near the front door still lit. Eliott breathes a sigh of relief that Lucille hadn’t come home in the middle of… that. She’d never let him hear the end of it. Eliott rushes to the bathroom anyways. It’s likely going to be a while before Eliott is comfortable letting Lucas out of his sight. After thoroughly wiping down his own body, he wets a fresh cloth, and makes his way back to the bedroom. Lucas has rotated his body on the bed, laying in the proper direction now and curled around a pillow, sheets pulled up around his body. He’s adorable. He's likely also spread any number of bodily fluids on the sheets by doing so.</p><p>Eliott flicks off the overhead light, leaving only his bedside lamp illuminating the room as he approaches the bed with a smile. “You better not have gotten spunk all over the sheets.” It couldn’t sound like less of a threat.</p><p>Lucas huffs, and even with eyes half open he manages to communicate a look of utter superiority. “More on you than me,” he mumbles before shifting under the sheets with a grimace. “Except…” His face flushes, easy to see even in the dull light, and Eliott finds himself entranced, slipping under the covers to sit upright next to him. “Um… inside me?” Lucas whispers, looking adorably uncertain.</p><p>Eliott chuckles. The smug is no doubt radiating off him, but he can’t find it in himself to care. “Yeah, well,” he moves a hand to stroke through Lucas’s hair, “I did come inside you.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas smiles, shy and pleased. “I’ve never done that before.”</p><p>Eliott returns his smile, having figured as much, but happy to have it confirmed. “Neither have I.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise. “Really?”</p><p>“Yeah. You’re my first in a lot of ways.”</p><p>“Like how?” Lucas asks, sleepy eyes still wide with curiosity.</p><p>“First great love,” Eliott answers, with quiet sincerity. “First and… I want you to be the last… if… I mean, for as long as you want that too.”</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>It’s said so simply… so easily. Eliott can’t help but speak around a laugh. “That’s it? Just… ok?”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas sighs as though he’s calling upon the utmost of patience, “I said you were the love of my life. Of course I’m saying ok.”</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees. “You said you <em>thought </em>I was the love of your life.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, unconcerned. “Yeah, well, two orgasms later and I’m sure.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, uncontrolled and vibrantly happy. When he tapers off, Lucas is smiling at him sweetly. “Deal then,” Eliott says with a nod.</p><p>“Deal,” Lucas agrees.</p><p>“Come here.” Eliott pulls back the covers. “Let me clean you up a little.” He sweeps the cloth down Lucas’s chest, wiping remnants of Lucas’s orgasms off his lower stomach. But he was right. He wasn’t made nearly the mess Eliott was. Except of course… “Can you flip?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes widen. “You’re gonna clean… inside?”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed by Lucas’s wide-eyed surprise. “No. That’ll be easier in the shower tomorrow. I’ll help you then, ok?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes narrow. “You mean you’re gonna want another chance to get up me bare in the shower tomorrow.”</p><p>Eliott grins, unapologetic, tapping Lucas’s hip until he gives in and rolls to his stomach. “Wouldn’t turn down the chance. Unless you decide to bolt and drop me on my ass in the shower again.”</p><p>“That was your fault.” Lucas’s eyebrows wrinkle. “<em>You</em> fell flat on your own ass and pulled me down with you.”</p><p>“Only to protect your ass,” Eliott says with a chuckle.</p><p>“You love my ass,” Lucas mumbles into the pillow.</p><p>“I do,” Eliott snorts, sweeping the cloth between the cheeks of said ass as Lucas shudders, hands clenching against the pillow. “Love more than your ass though.” Satisfied he’s done the best they’re going to manage, at least for tonight, Eliott tosses the cloth towards his laundry basket and turns to flick off the bedside lamp, settling down under the covers next to Lucas.</p><p>Lucas stays on his stomach, turning his head towards Eliott. “I love more than your ass too.”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Lucas hums. “Think I might love your dick even more.”</p><p>“Hey!” He laughs, reaching to poke at Lucas’s side until the other boy erupts in giggles. “Such a fucking brat,” Eliott says, pulling his hand back.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “Still fell in love with me.”</p><p>“I did,” Eliott agrees. “You didn’t give me any other choice.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, before he turns, putting his back to Eliott. “Eliott, you –”</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Eliott interrupts with an exaggerated grumble, shuffling forward to wrap his arms around Lucas as he spoons his back. “I don’t need to cuddle you. I know.”</p><p>“No,” Lucas whispers, hand gripping Eliott’s arm to pull it more tightly around his chest. “You do. Always. Unless… I mean… unless you want to be cuddled. I can do that too.”</p><p>“I know,” Eliott whispers in return, pressing a kiss to the back of Lucas’s neck. “Thank you.”</p><p>“Eliott?”</p><p>Eliott hums, eyes closed and suddenly feeling the weight of his exhaustion – the relief of having Lucas back in his arms – dragging him closer and closer to sleep.</p><p>“I love… how kind you are,” Lucas begins, without his previous fatigue. Eliott’s eyes open as Lucas continues to speak. “I love that you see good in people – in the world around you. I love how much you want to know people – the way you always give them a chance. I love how hard you try, how much you care, the way you want to help people. I love that you don’t bother with what people think and you’re not afraid to be who you are – soft and giving and kind. I love that you don’t eat meat because once a bunny you loved was killed.” Eliott smothers a watery laugh into Lucas’s back. “And I, um, I really love that you don’t let me get away with my shit. I love that you call me out on it. And I love that you listen when I do the same for you. I love that you’re my equal – in every way – but you still make me want to do better – be better – for my friends, for our patients… for you.” Lucas takes a deep breath. “Anyways, yeah, I just wanted you to know. And I, uh, I love you.”</p><p>Eliott presses his forehead to Lucas’s neck, not at all surprised to feel tears leaking from his eyes to fall to the pillow beneath them. He raises his head and squeezes Lucas back more tightly to him, pressing a kiss to the side of Lucas’s neck. “I love you, Lucas. I’ve never – not like this – only you. You’re the best thing in my life.” He presses his nose into the soft hair at the back of Lucas’s head, breathing the words against his neck. “I used to look up into the stars when I was a kid and imagine it, you know? There seemed to be a million stars but maybe my soulmate was somewhere right then – right at that exact same time – looking up at them too. When I grew up and started studying science, I started to doubt it. It didn’t seem possible – that there was someone out there I was meant to find. And then there was you. And I realized. Do you remember what you said? About soulmates?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas whispers, quiet and overcome.</p><p>“You said it wouldn’t always be easy – that we needed to work for it. That there needed to be intention behind the… the love.” Eliott presses his hand to Lucas’s chest, just above his heart. “I wasn’t ready to say it out loud – not then – but I think I knew it.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas presses his hand on top of Eliott’s on his chest.</p><p>“You were it. Him. The boy looking up at the stars at the exact same time. You’re my soulmate, Lucas.”</p><p>There’s a long, extended moment of silence, before Lucas speaks, sounding overjoyed even though the words come through tears. “God. You asshole,” he exhales. “That’s so much better than ‘love of my life.’”</p><p>Eliott snickers, brushing his lips against Lucas’s skin. “Was good, wasn’t it? Gonna have to remember it for our wedding vows.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas laughs, shoving an elbow back into Eliott’s stomach. “Shut up.”</p><p>“Mmm, I won’t.” Eliott squeezes him tight. “Gonna marry you one day. It’s best you prepare yourself.”</p><p>Lucas huffs. “You’re an idiot. Go to sleep.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott agrees, eyelids already falling shut. “But Lucas?”</p><p>“What?” He sounds as though he’s fighting sleep and losing the battle.</p><p>“You’ll say yes, right?” Eliott asks, knowing the conversation is utterly ridiculous considering they’ve been back together – officially together – for all of two seconds, but somehow knowing it’s the right moment all the same. “Lucas?” Eliott prompts, wondering if the boy in his arms actually has drifted off to sleep.</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas answers just as Eliott has given up and accepted that perhaps this isn’t an answer he was meant to have just yet. “I’ll say yes.”</p><p>And they both know it’s neither a proposal nor acceptance – that the actual situation is unlikely to arise for some time – at least until they’ve had an opportunity to function as a proper couple and learn what that means. But Lucas’s words fill Eliott with a serenity he’s never known. It’s a promise. It might not ever be as simple as being soulmates; That they’ll work for it – that they’re both willing to. That as long as they have one another, it will never be too much.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott wakes to a perfect sight. Lucas is already awake, facing him, his tattooed arm curled around the end of the pillow. He smiles softly when Eliott’s eyes focus on him.</p><p>“Blue,” Eliott mumbles, eyes tracking over the lines decorating Lucas’s arm.</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows pull together. “What?”</p><p>“Your tattoo,” Eliott explains, feeling giddy and silly and not caring in the least. “It’s shades of blue when you’re happy.”</p><p>Lucas smiles. “Mood tattoo.” He stretches his arm out slightly between them. “I thought blue was a sad colour though?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott responds immediately, reaching to brush a thumb over Lucas’s eyebrow, waiting until his eyes rise to meet Eliott’s, the blue of them lighter in the morning. “Blue’s the most beautiful colour. It has to be happy.”</p><p>Lucas’s cheeks flush to a pretty pink and he pulls his arm back burying himself slightly in the blanket to hide his smile. “What other colours does it change to?”</p><p>Eliott hums, considering. “Pink and red when you’re hot for me.” Lucas snorts, looking up with a bright smile. “It does that a lot,” He adds with a wink.</p><p>“Shut up!” Lucas laughs.</p><p>Eliott grins. “Yellow when you’re being brilliant at work and you know it.”</p><p>“Must be yellow a lot.”</p><p>Eliott offers him a slight eye roll at that. “Purple when you’re hungry.”</p><p>Lucas smiles cheekily. “Only for chocolate wrapped in fries though.”</p><p>Eliott mimes gagging, grinning when it makes Lucas giggle. “Fiery orange when you’re mad at me.”</p><p>“Wouldn’t that look like red and pink too? Wouldn’t you get it mixed up?”</p><p>Eliott cocks an eyebrow. “Well sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference between when you’re pissed at me and when you want to blow me. Soooo… it’s ok that it mixes.”</p><p>Lucas huffs but doesn’t argue. “What about when I’m sad?” His voice has grown quiet, his expression solemn. “What colour does it turn then?”</p><p>“No colour,” Eliott answers, absurdly and all too suddenly feeling on the verge of tears. “It drains of colour then.”</p><p>Lucas nods, eyes lowered to the sheet he holds clutched in his hands. Eliott watches him, not sure how to respond to the heavy weight of silence that’s fallen between them, but giving Lucas the time he needs to sort out what he’d like to do with it – talk or remain silent. Eliott will accept either.</p><p>“I never slept with him,” Lucas finally speaks, gaze still lowered. “Never. Not once. Not ever.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows pull together. He knows Lucas slept with Jeremy, that means… “Moreau?” He gasps before quickly checking his own reaction as Lucas’s eyes dart up to him. “You never… with Moreau?” How is that… but Eliott had assumed… and Lucas had never contradicted him. Though Eliott supposes, it’s not like he ever gave him the chance. Any time Moreau came up in conversation between them, it was veiled with accusation, either intentional on Eliott’s part, or perceived on Lucas’s.</p><p>Lucas nods. “I want – I want to explain. I just… don’t even know where to begin.”</p><p>“Start from the beginning,” Eliott suggests. “The very beginning. Whatever you want to tell me, Lucas.” He moves a hand to encase Lucas’s closed fist on the blanket. “You don’t have to share anything you don’t want to share. I – I was wrong to ever demand it,” he admits regretfully. “I love you – I want to be with you – whether you tell me or not.”</p><p>It seems to have been the right thing to say. Lucas looks more confident and shifts his arm out of the blanket, allowing Eliott to stroke a comforting hand up and down the soft skin. “Ok.” He takes a steadying breath. “You heard I met him when I was a kid?”</p><p>“Yeah, uh… Jeremy.” It feels wrong to even say the name and Eliott only just refrains from spitting it into the space between them.</p><p>“Right,” Lucas nods. “Moreau was friends with my dad. I think it was more like… they were the biggest assholes in the hospital – both of them fucking around on their wives with the nurses – so they bonded over it.” He moves his other hand to rake back through his hair, shuffling the strands as though to shake out his nerves. “I didn’t know any of that though. I was so young. I was <em>twelve</em>. And Moreau was so nice to me… so handsome and kind.” He grimaces as he says the words and Eliott does his best not to mirror the response, keeping his expression open and attentive. “My dad didn’t give a shit about me. But Moreau – he paid attention to me. A lot of attention. It made me feel special and… important.”</p><p>Eliott finds his hand unwittingly tightening around Lucas’s forearm. He quickly releases when he realizes, petting over the skin. “Sorry.”</p><p>“It’s ok,” Lucas allows with an understanding smile. “What you’re thinking, it… it’s right. He didn’t abuse me,” Lucas rushes to add, no doubt responding to the dark fury on Eliott’s face he did not stand a chance of hiding. “Not physically. He was, um… I learned later… when I told Yann… it’s called grooming?” He looks up in question, and Eliott nods to indicate he understands the term, not certain he could speak at the moment in a way that would remotely help Lucas remain calm in his retelling. “So, yeah,” Lucas sighs. “I think he liked the attention too. He liked that I was falling over myself with how brilliant I thought he was. God, anyone could probably see my crush from a mile away.” He shakes his head, annoyed and embarrassed by his younger self. “I don’t think he ever would have done anything to me then – when I was just a kid. But he wanted to… control me… shape me… to be what he wanted when I grew up. He even got me a cell phone – just for us to talk.”</p><p>“Jesus,” Eliott can’t help but speak.</p><p>Lucas smiles ruefully. “Yeah. I thought it was so cool. Like… a cool older adult who just wanted to talk to me, you know? And I talked to him about everything… my mom, my dad… boys. Before I even knew what it meant. He knew everything about me.”</p><p>“And no one found out?”</p><p>Lucas looks suddenly wistful. “My mom.”</p><p>“Oh.” Wow. Eliott can’t imagine any parent – aside from Lucas’s shitty dad – taking such a thing lightly.</p><p>“She found the cell phone,” Lucas explains. “I was thirteen then. I didn’t really get it at the time – her reaction. She was so… erratic then… figured it was just part of that. Not really sure what happened between them, but she took away the phone.”</p><p>“And how did you take that?” Eliott asks gently.</p><p>“Flipped out,” Lucas admits. “I didn’t get why she had a problem with it – me and Eric – uh, Moreau – being ‘friends’.” He puts air quotes over the word, obviously recognizing that friendship is not an accurate summary of the relationship. “I thought she was pissed I had someone to talk to – someone to talk to about <em>her</em>.” He sighs, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment and pulling the pillow closer. “I was so angry. I was horrible to her.”</p><p>“What happened?” The thought of thirteen-year-old Lucas so angry and confused, with no one to lean on and no idea of the way he was being manipulated, makes Eliott’s whole body ache.</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “She must have scared him. He backed off completely. And then… I dunno… eventually, time passed. I got older. I met boys and… guess I was a little distracted by the whole ‘figuring out I’m gay’ thing.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “And your mom? Did it get better with her?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas smiles. “It was rough at times but… yeah. I really loved her, and she really loved me. I could never really help – couldn’t protect her… from my dad, her brain, the cancer. But I loved her. I loved her a lot.”</p><p>And he lost her. Lucas doesn’t say it and neither does Eliott, but it’s the reality that hangs heavy in the air between them. Eliott steers them back to the topic at hand, knowing Lucas won’t want to dwell in sadder memories of his mom.</p><p>“So, if your mom ended things – got Moreau away from you – how did…”</p><p>“Things changed after she passed.” Lucas’s mouth twists. This is not a memory he looks back on fondly, and Eliott braces himself for whatever is to come. “Moreau started coming around again. I was too – too fucked up after my mom died to care much. And I had my friends – and boys I was into. He knew it too. I think he realized he’d lost his grip on me.”</p><p>“Good,” Eliott comments, lips pressed together in annoyance.</p><p>Lucas smiles regretfully. “Didn’t last.” He sighs, and he rolls onto his back, staring up at the ceiling. Eliott gets the feeling this is an intentional choice, so he doesn’t have to look at Eliott as he tells the rest of the story. “I was eighteen – moving out – going to university. I was leaving all of it behind. Couldn’t wait really. All I wanted was to get away from my dad at that point.” He pauses, and Eliott aches to reach out and hold him. “My dad invited him over one night. I don’t know – I still don’t know – if he knew what he was doing. I think he knew Moreau had some sort of investment in me, and he figured he’d just… look the other way.”</p><p>“What the fuck?!” Eliott bursts. It’s not that it’s surprising. He knows Lucas’s dad is hardly father of the year but… <em>what the fuck?! </em></p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, tilting his head to look at Eliott before looking back to the roof. “Anyway, Moreau came to wish me luck or whatever-the-fuck – said he was sorry he hadn’t been there for me enough through… everything. And, uh,” Lucas’s voice wavers and he clears his throat, pausing to take a few measured breaths, “he said a bunch of crap, you know. Only it wasn’t crap to me at the time – like, how I was special and he’d always known it – how mature I was for my age, how beautiful… that he’d never met anyone like me… <em>fuck.</em>” Lucas wipes a hand across his face, digging fingers into his closed eyes before he drops his hand. “I wanted to hear it. It’s like I was twelve years old again. So fucking stupid.”</p><p>“You weren’t stupid,” Eliott disagrees. “You were vulnerable.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, “Vulnerable. Naïve. Fucking stupid. Whatever. He kissed me.” The words that had been building on Eliott’s tongue evaporate. Lucas rolls his head to face him, and his voice drops to a whisper. “I kissed him back. I wanted it.”</p><p>“You were eighteen.” Eliott’s own voice has gentled unconsciously.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas huffs. “Old enough to know better.”</p><p>“You were <em>eighteen</em>, Lucas,” Eliott repeats. “He was… what? Forty-five?”</p><p>Lucas exhales, amused. “Thirty-nine.”</p><p>“Whatever,” Eliott dismisses. “He’d been grooming you since you were a child. And you admired him – you looked up to him. You didn’t do anything wrong by kissing him back. He’s the one who shouldn’t have kissed you in the first place.”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas agrees, tone serious. “I know, but…” He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “It’s hard to look back and not want to kick my own ass. I was so…” He flutters a hand in the air above him. “I thought it was real. I thought I liked him. And I thought – I <em>really</em> thought I mattered to him.”</p><p>“Did it…” Eliott really doesn’t want to ask but… “Did it continue? When you moved away?”</p><p>“Not really.” Lucas rolls back to his side, facing Eliott, and curls an arm under the pillow. “We still texted but… it was uni, you know? It was the first time I was surrounded by so many people – <em>guys </em>who were out and… into me and…”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “You must have cleaned up.”</p><p>“I was kind of a mess, honestly,” Lucas says with a slight smile. Eliott highly doubts it would have mattered. God, if he’d met Lucas in uni… Eliott cannot imagine the lengths he would have gone to get in his pants. “But I got my first boyfriend,” Lucas continues. “I had a boy I could kiss – have sex with – really, really terrible sex,” Lucas adds with a laugh. Eliott joins in, shuffling closer on the bed, until he can rest a hand on Lucas’s hip, above the sheets. “And then there were other boys and… I didn’t think about Eric as often anymore. Not until I had to apply to med school.”</p><p>Eliott rubs Lucas’s hip, moving his hand down over his thigh in comfort. “Why then?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop to where his hand draws patterns on the mattress. “I wasn’t a great student.”</p><p>Eliott makes a sound of surprise. “What? But… you’re brilliant… and top of your class. That’s what everyone said.”</p><p>“In med school,” Lucas clarifies. “When I knew what I wanted and actually… fucking applied myself for the first time. But getting into med school… I needed help… and Eric was there.”</p><p>Eliott swallows the rising bile at the back of his throat. “I’m sure he leapt at the chance.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “But nothing really happened. He just… helped. It seemed selfless – kind even.” Eliott bites his tongue so as not to respond. “And we started talking again. He’d text me to see how I was doing. He’d answer any of my questions. It didn’t matter how late, how much I badgered him, he’d help me whenever I was stuck. When we met up, he’d just… listen.” Lucas shakes his head, looking annoyed and shamed all at once. “It felt like I wouldn’t have made it through med school without him. I know –” Lucas cuts Eliott off just as his mouth opens to disagree. “I know it’s bullshit. But it’s how he wanted me to feel. I didn’t see it. Not until later. But he wanted me to owe him. I felt like I did. And then I was applying to surgical programs…”</p><p>Eliott moves his hand up from Lucas’s hip to brush his hair back where it’s fallen over his face. “And he offered to help again.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “I started feeling weird about it. I just… I wanted to do things on my own. I wanted to see for myself if I even could. I was the best in my class, you know? But I kept thinking, how much of that is because of him? And how much is just because of me – because I’m good at what I do? So, I turned him down.”</p><p>“He didn’t like that?”</p><p>“Probably not. I wouldn’t know. Never got far enough for me to find out,” Lucas admits. “My dad flipped on me. Moreau must have gone to him. He said I was a fool to turn down his help – that I was living in a dreamland thinking I’d have my choice of programs – of offers. He said –” Lucas’s voice cracks and his eyes drop back to the mattress. “He said surgery was a boys club. I was too… <em>soft</em>.” He glances up at Eliott, clearly understanding the irony in his statement. “It didn’t matter what I looked like on paper. I was effeminate… <em>gay</em>. Said if he could see it from a mile away, everyone else could too.”</p><p>“That’s bullshit.” Eliott’s grip tightens in Lucas’s hair.</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Maybe. A little. He said it to fuck with me, but he believed it too. And I knew discrimination exists in the programs. It just… got to me. Got to my head. I panicked.”</p><p>“You accepted his help.” Eliott doesn’t say it with any judgement in his tone but Lucas’s eyes alarmingly fill with tears.</p><p>“I promised I’d prove myself after. I’d accept his help – I’d apply to the program he wanted and let his recommendation get me in – but I’d be the best. That would be all me. Not him.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott comforts, combing fingers through his hair, “I know. I’m not judging. I would have taken the help too.”</p><p>Lucas sniffles, wiping roughly at his eyes. “He kissed me again then. One night, when he took me out to celebrate me getting in. It felt like… I couldn’t turn him down. Not now. Not when he’d given me everything – my fucking career. I think I expected it… knew it was coming but… I still couldn’t kiss him back. It felt wrong. I felt like I was being bought.”</p><p>“Did he…?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head. “He backed off. I thought that was it. I was in the program. And yeah it was handed to me but… I’d be the best. I wouldn’t let anyone else fuck with that. I may not have gotten myself there, but the rest would be me.” He exhales heavily. “He kept texting me though. Saying he wanted to meet up. Asking me to come to his place when his wife wouldn’t be there. It was worse than it had ever been, because he knew… he knew he’d lost me… he knew I didn’t want him, didn’t need him.”</p><p>“He was harassing you,” Eliott realizes with dawning clarity.</p><p>Lucas nods, his eyes catching with Eliott’s and resting there. “That first night at the bar,” he begins, “when I saw you it was like… <em>fuck</em>.” His eyes light up, a smile curling at his mouth. “You were so fucking hot. I wasn’t prepared for that.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, hand drifting down to brush a thumb across Lucas’s cheek. “I know the feeling.”</p><p>“I didn’t need that,” Lucas continues. “I didn’t want to – I <em>couldn’t </em>fuck it up. I had too much to prove.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, “I remember.” The context with which he remembers changes however, cast in a new light.</p><p>“You were everything I felt like I wasn’t. Brilliant all on your own. Beautiful and kind. You worked so hard for everything you had. God, it made me so mad. So mad at myself.”</p><p>“I didn’t realize…” It had been about Lucas. Lucas’s anger had been about himself, redirected at Eliott. Stupid, but understandable.</p><p>“I wanted you though. Fuck. The way you were looking at me – I don’t even think you realized –”</p><p>“I realized,” Eliott interrupts, smirk in place. “Knew it was a bad idea, but I couldn’t help myself. Saw you and … that was it.”</p><p>Lucas’s face colours and he looks pleased before his smile drops along with his eyes. “And then… Eric.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott breathes, thinking back to his behaviour when he’d found them together… the conclusions he’d jumped too. He’s never hated his past self more.</p><p>“I don’t think he knew I’d be there,” Lucas continues. “He was with a couple other surgeons and he saw me. He’d been drinking and he followed me to the bathroom.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott breaks in, voice thick with shame, “I’m so sorry… I didn’t know…”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas assures, looking up to meet Eliott’s eyes with a wobbly smile. “I know. I didn’t want anyone to see me with him.<em> I</em> pulled him into that room. Fuck.” He shakes his head at himself. “It was so stupid. I just wanted him to calm down. But he was all over me. I didn’t even <em>try </em>to push him away. I don’t know why I couldn’t. And then… you. You were at the door.”</p><p>Eliott could throw up. “And I… I yelled at you. I accused you of…”</p><p>“You weren’t totally wrong,” Lucas says with a wry smile. “That made it worse. He <em>was</em> how I got ahead. Could’a done without you thinking we were sleeping together though.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott croaks. No apology will be enough but – “I’m so sorry. I was such an asshole.”</p><p>“You couldn’t have known,” Lucas interrupts. “You didn’t know. I would probably have thought the same thing.”</p><p>“I was a jealous prick.”</p><p>Lucas laughs softly. “Yeah, well, at least you’re consistent.”</p><p>“So, this whole time he’s been…”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Yeah. He hates that he can’t control me – hates that he doesn’t have that power over me anymore.” Lucas holds Eliott’s gaze, eyes soft and considering. “And he really hates you.”</p><p>“Me?” Eliott’s jaw drops with shock. “He doesn’t even know my name.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “Believe me, he knows your name. He saw me with you and…” He shrugs, offering a shy smile. “Guess we were kinda obvious – even when we were yelling at one another.”</p><p>Eliott’s brows pulls together. “What does that mean? What did he…?”</p><p>“He was after me to work with him,” Lucas explains. “Kept saying there was no one better to mentor me.” Lucas snorts. “Mentor me and fuck me. I knew what he meant. He wanted the power back. That case with Noah – <em>fuck,</em> he was pressuring me. I was so scared someone would find out, that – that <em>you</em> would find out,” Lucas’s eyes rest on him for a moment, heavy with regret, “that you’d know you were right all along. I had to beg Faure for the cancer case. That’s what I wanted. To help people. To help kids. Not to ride fucking Eric’s coattails anymore. And Faure – she’s one of the only female surgeons at the hospital. Did you know that?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head. “No. I didn’t.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, a little sad. “I knew it wouldn’t matter to her what I looked like… she wouldn’t… it wouldn’t be like that with her. I wouldn’t have to worry.”  </p><p>“Did you tell anyone?” Horror at the thought of Lucas dealing with this alone for so long sits on Eliott’s chest, a heavy weight.</p><p>Lucas shakes his head. “No.” He swallows heavily, voice raw and pained. “I didn’t have anything on him. Only my word. But he… fuck… he could get me thrown out of the program with <em>just</em> a word. He’s the reason I even had a place in it. His recommendation. He knew it. I knew him.”</p><p>Eliott wants to kill him. “God. Lucas…”</p><p>“I thought I could ignore it. Eventually he’d get bored. And things with us…” He moves a hand to the side of Eliott’s neck, fingers caressing the skin. “I was really, really happy.”</p><p>“I know,” Eliott whispers, returning Lucas’s gentle caress. “I was too.”</p><p>“That’s when my dad showed up.” Lucas’s voice grows cold. “Eric had talked to him. Some bullshit about how I was all over him – how all he wanted to do was mentor me, but I wouldn’t agree to it unless he slept with me.”</p><p>“I’m going to fucking kill him.” He hadn’t meant to speak the thought out loud but <em>fuck, </em>if he doesn’t mean it.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas exhales a dry laugh. “Felt the same. I was afraid he was getting an excuse ready – a reason to get me kicked out. Before… he had hope. He thought… eventually… he’d get it back – that pull over me. But then…” Lucas’s fingers tap against Eliott’s neck. “He saw me with you.”</p><p>“Why didn’t you talk to me?” Eliott asks, voice choked with emotion. “Why did you… you broke up with me… you said –”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas whispers. A tear tumbles from one eye onto his cheek. “I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to do something. I couldn’t let him threaten me – blackmail me – for the rest of my life.”</p><p>“I would have helped. I would have done anything.”</p><p>“I couldn’t let you.” More tears slip down onto Lucas’s cheeks, and Eliott reaches to brush them away. “I saw you with them and I realized… he’d get to you too. I couldn’t protect you. And I knew – I knew you would do anything to – to keep me safe. But if I fucked it all up, I couldn’t let him destroy your career too. And you’d do it. You’d do it for me. But I needed you to be ok. Even if I wasn’t.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whispers, overcome. “I saw you with him.” He hadn’t been sure how he would ever tell Lucas – <em>when </em>he would ever tell him, but he has to now. “I went looking for you. I heard you were with Moreau and I was so… I was scared. I didn’t know why but I knew something wasn’t right. But then… I saw you together. In the hall by the OR.” Lucas’s eyes widen with recognition. “He was… touching you… kissing you… and you looked… happy.” Eliott squeezes his eyes shut, desperately pushing the memories back. “I shouldn’t have believed it. I know I shouldn’t have. But it’s like…” It’s so hard to explain the way his brain works sometimes – the way he feels powerless to change it. He opens his eyes, resting them gently on Lucas. “Dark thoughts took over. Every horrible thing I’d ever thought – it’s like it was all suddenly true.”</p><p>“That’s why,” Lucas whispers. “You were so angry with me. That’s why.”</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott admits. “It was either that or… break completely.”</p><p>“God,” Lucas exhales. “We’re such fucking idiots.”</p><p>Eliott smooths his hand back into Lucas’s hair. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Millet saw Moreau with me,” Lucas says abruptly. It’s not a total surprise. Eliott had gathered something like this must have occurred after his conversation with Millet. “Not like – he just saw Eric grabbing me – trying to pull me into his office.”</p><p>“Fuck,” Eliott breathes.</p><p>“He interrupted us,” Lucas continues. “Came up with some excuse to get me away. Sat me down and… yeah… I just spilled my guts, I guess. It was too much to hold in. I couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t tell him everything but… enough.”</p><p>“And did he –”</p><p>Lucas rushes to continue, as though he’s reached the final stretch and he’s desperate to sprint through the finish line so he can finally regain his breath. “He wanted to bring it up with the Chief. But I knew – I <em>knew </em>it wouldn’t go down like Millet thought. He’s like you.” Lucas smiles dryly. “He thinks the best of people. He <em>trusts </em>people.”</p><p>“Is that so bad?”</p><p>“In this? Yes,” Lucas responds immediately. “Eric would have my dad on his side, saying I’d been slobbering all over him since I was a kid. No way my dad would let me embarrass him – his name – with a sexual harassment complaint against a doctor like Moreau.”</p><p>“You’d have Millet on your side.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “Millet who only saw Eric grab me by the arm. He knew – he said he’d had suspicions – but it didn’t matter if he believed me when there was no proof.”</p><p>Lucas’s plan lays itself out before Eliott’s eyes. “That’s what you were doing.” It’s not a question. “You were trying to get proof.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “It was stupid. I didn’t tell Millet. I thought if I could get Eric to believe I’d changed my mind – I wanted him – that you were out of the picture… I could get him on tape – get him saying things… doing things. Making promises he shouldn’t. It would be enough. Maybe not for the hospital – but enough to scare <em>him</em>.”</p><p>“What happened?” Clearly things hadn’t gone exactly as Lucas planned.</p><p>Lucas looks at him for a moment, eyes tracing over Eliott’s features. “He brought you into it.”</p><p>“Me?” Eliott gapes stupidly.</p><p>“Yeah.” Lucas laughs a little at Eliott’s expression. “Turns out you’re my trigger – the one thing I couldn’t fake. And he said –” Lucas cuts himself off. “It doesn’t matter. I punched him.”</p><p>Eliott’s hands drop from Lucas in shock and he pushes back slightly to stare at him. “You what?!”</p><p>“Yeah, well, he had it coming…”</p><p>Eliott’s too busy grabbing for Lucas’s hands to pay his words any mind. He clasps Lucas’s right hand, smoothing a thumb over the knuckles. And <em>there</em>. It’s slight but there’s redness around the knuckles. Like bruising that hasn’t quite reached the surface of the skin. “Fuck, Lucas,” Eliott admonishes, bringing the hand to his mouth and pressing his lips against the abraded skin. “You could have broken your hand.”</p><p>“Was worth it.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Eliott protests. “Your hands, Lucas. They’re your life – your career. He’s not worth that.”</p><p>“He’s not,” Lucas agrees. “But I’d do it again.”</p><p>Eliott can’t fight the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “I wish I could have seen it.”</p><p>Lucas smiles a little crookedly. “Kinda fucked up my plan though. Gave him an actual reason to get me kicked out.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “He can’t.”</p><p>“He could,” Lucas disagrees. “But I had something on him too.”</p><p>“The recording?”</p><p>He nods. “It wasn’t proof of harassment, but it was proof of an inappropriate relationship. Proof of promises – favoured treatment, blah blah blah,” he trails off with a huff. “I said I didn’t give a shit if I got kicked out. I was taking it to the Chief.”</p><p>“That’s why he’s leaving,” Eliott says with dawning comprehension.</p><p>“How do you know about that?”</p><p>Eliott’s face heats as he admits, “I went to see him – to threaten him.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look too surprised by this. Smiling with a slight shake of his head. “Yeah, it’s why he’s leaving. He wasn’t willing to call my bluff. My dad had been trying to attract him to private practice for years. Cushy job with him was an easy alternative to going head-to-head with me and seeing who they believed. Even if he won in the end – his public persona would be dragged through the dirt. His reputation. His <em>perfect</em> marriage. It matters too much to him. And he knew I had Millet on my side.”</p><p>“But he just gets to… leave? To keep practicing? It’s not enough.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drop. “I know it’s selfish. I just want him out of my life. I want it done. I don’t want to spend my life fighting him.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott presses forward, cupping Lucas’s face with both hands, “it’s not selfish. I didn’t mean that. I’m just… angry.”</p><p>“I’m not,” Lucas admits, eyes shining as he looks at Eliott. “I’m not anymore. I feel… free… for the first time. I’m happy. I’m really fucking happy, Eliott.”</p><p>Warmth spreads through Eliott’s chest. “I only want you to be happy.”</p><p>“I know,” Lucas whispers. His expression drops, becoming abruptly far more serious. “I wanted to go to you the minute I knew he was gone. I just… I thought I fucked it up too much. I <em>know </em>I fucked it up and I’m just… I’m sorry for what I said.” Eliott wrinkles his forehead in question. “When I told you I didn’t want to be together,” Lucas clarifies. “When I said it was too much. Fuck. I’m really sorry.”</p><p>“It’s ok,” Eliott begins but Lucas immediately cuts him off.</p><p>“It’s not,” he insists. “I knew you weren’t going to give up on me. Not if you felt about me the way I did about you. I knew you wouldn’t give up. And I was so fucking scared of what you’d do – what you’d be willing to do to –”</p><p>“Protect you,” Eliott finishes for him, knowing Lucas was right to be worried. There’s no doubt in Eliott’s mind he would have punched first, dealt with consequences later if he’d known what was going on with Moreau.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees. “I don’t mean that like – an excuse, or whatever. I know I hurt you. It was the last thing I wanted.”</p><p>Eliott nods a little, anxiety from the memory clawing at his gut. “You were right though. There might be times I’m –”</p><p>“It was never about you, Eliott. You’ve never been the problem,” Lucas interrupts, voice firm. “But sometimes, I think… I’m…”</p><p>“No,” Eliott disagrees immediately. “I want you. Just like this.”</p><p>“Me – me too,” Lucas forces out with a stuttered breath. “It’s not too much. Not to me. Not when it’s you.”</p><p>It’s an easier promise to accept than Eliott would have expected. But maybe he should have. After all, it’s the same for him. “Ok.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth quirks up into a smile. “That’s it? Just… ok?”</p><p>Eliott laughs softly, recognizing his own words from the night prior being parroted back. “Baby,” he shuffles closer, moving an arm around Lucas’s waist under the blanket to pull him in, “I said you were my soulmate. Of course I’m saying ok.” </p><p>“Does seem like a soulmatey thing to say.” Lucas’s mouth is twitching with the restraint it’s taking him not to break out into a wide smile.</p><p>Eliott hums in agreement, moving his face close enough to brush the tip of his nose against Lucas’s. “Thank you. For telling me.”</p><p>“I’m sorry I didn’t earlier.”</p><p>“I get why you didn’t,” Eliott allows. “But we’re together now. From here on out we do things differently.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes glint with mischief. “We’re together now?”</p><p>“I proposed marriage to you last night. What about that was unclear?”</p><p>“Did you? I must have missed it.”</p><p>“You said yes.”</p><p>“Mmm, probably just to get you to shut up.”</p><p>“God,” Eliott laughs, delighted. “You are such a brat.”</p><p>“Only for you.” Lucas tilts his head back, chin tipping up in what Eliott has come to realize means ‘kiss me now’ in Lucas body language. Eliott would like to do a lot more than that.</p><p>“How long do we have before we gotta get ready for work?” They haven’t been on the earliest shift this week but the way the room is glowing with morning light indicates they’re likely pulling it a bit close when it comes to their timing.</p><p>“I dunno,” Lucas responds, gaze flicking between Eliott’s eyes and mouth. “Phone’s in my sweats I think.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment more, calling upon all his strength to pull away and twist on the bed enough to reach for his own phone to check. He turns back to Lucas quickly with smirk.</p><p>“Half an hour before we maybe flirt with being a little late. Plenty of time.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “I’ll say. Twenty-nine minutes longer than you need.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth drops open. “Oh, that’s it!” He shoves Lucas to his back, rolling until he’s propped above, pinning Lucas’s wrists to the mattress. “Had about enough of your sass.”</p><p>Lucas grins, a perfect blend of cheeky and sweet. “No, you haven’t.”</p><p>Eliott quirks an eyebrow. “No?”</p><p>“Un uh,” Lucas denies, biting his lower lip in a way that is absolutely meant to torture Eliott before he lets it pop from his mouth. “Never enough for you.”</p><p>And he’s right, isn’t he? What a simple and perfect revelation. They’d both been so concerned with being too much for the other, when really, the exact opposite had been true. Eliott hums in consideration, releasing one of Lucas’s wrists to sweep his hair back away from his forehead. “You sure?”</p><p>Lucas’s expression softens. “What does my tattoo say?”</p><p>Eliott’s looks down on him in confusion before he understands what Lucas means. He moves his hand back to the soft skin, running it lightly down the underside, across his tattoo. “It’s blue. Sky blue.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, happy, and so very obviously in love, Eliott doesn’t know how he ever doubted it. “Guess that means I’m sure. Now,” he adopts a more serious expression, “we doing this or what? You might only need a minute to get there, but it’s gonna take me a little longer.”</p><p>“I swear to…” Eliott dives in, latching onto Lucas’s neck with his teeth.</p><p>“Eliott!” Lucas screeches caught between laughter and… something else. Something more breathless and affected.</p><p>Eliott doesn’t let up, teething and sucking at the skin until he’s satisfied he’s left a mark high on Lucas’s neck. He raises his head to inspect his work, turning his face to meet Lucas’s darkened eyes. “I love you.”</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a moment before he suddenly laughs, vibrant and loud. “You asshole! You really just gave me a hickey?”</p><p>Eliott grins. “I really did.”</p><p>“You’re gonna pay for that,” Lucas threatens in a manner that is anything but threatening.</p><p>“Promise?” Eliott teases.</p><p>“Yes. Think you can just go around giving he hickeys?” Lucas blusters, all adorably faux outrage. “I know what you’re about, mister. You want everyone to know I’m yours. Well I’m gonna mark you up good. You just wait. You’re gonna have hickeys from your eyebrows to your ball sack.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, staring down at this boy he loves so dearly, so completely – this boy who challenges him in a way he’d never known he needed, in a way he can no longer live without. There’s only one thing he can say in response.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p> </p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott smiles sweetly at Lucas as he approaches, extending a hand to clasp, which Lucas does only after a moment of extended consideration.</p><p>“Ready?” Eliott asks, hoping Lucas hasn’t noticed just how sweaty his own palms are.</p><p>“Fuck,” Lucas exhales, looking with trepidation towards the door leading into the cafeteria. “This feels like fucking high school. And I never even had a boyfriend in high school.”</p><p>“Well, yeah, ‘cause Even was an idiot and fell in love with someone else.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, looking back to Eliott with a grin, and a considerably more relaxed posture. “Pretty sure he and Isak are engaged now. Don’t think he’d say he chose wrong.” Eliott frowns which only makes Lucas’s smile grow. “Besides, where would you be if I was with him?”</p><p>Eliott scrunches his face as he considers that for a moment. “Stealing you away, I guess.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. “Who says you could?”</p><p>Eliott wraps his free arm around Lucas’s back, drawing him closer. “Me. You’re the love of <em>my </em>life, not his. He doesn’t get you.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Lucas grins. “You know that line wouldn’t have worked on me.”</p><p>“I think it would,” Eliott disagrees. “But I wouldn’t need it. I would have gotten you anyways. Before we ever made it out of high school. Would’a taken you to my place.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrow rises. “You think I would’ve come?”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Eliott nods, squeezing where their hands are linked. “I’d have an excuse. And you’d want to come, so you’d say yes.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes drift to Eliott’s lips. “Then what?”</p><p>“Then I’d impress you. Get us a couple beers, play some music.”</p><p>Lucas scoffs, interrupting him. “Oh yeah, the second that dubstep started, I’d be yours.”</p><p>Eliott slides his hand from Lucas’s back to his bum, pinching him through his scrubs. “You would be. You know why?”</p><p>Lucas offers a slight eye roll, but he can’t hide the way he’s thoroughly charmed by Eliott’s imagining. “Why?”</p><p>“Because,” Eliott leans forward to brush their lips together, “you like me too.”</p><p>Lucas’s breath is warm against Eliott’s lips. He releases a happy little sigh. “Maybe. Just a little.”</p><p>Eliott kisses him. A brief, warm press of their lips together before he pulls back. Only Lucas has other ideas, his free hand immediately latching to Eliott’s neck and dragging him back. Eliott doesn’t resist him long, sinking into the kiss with a happy hum. When Lucas breaks the kiss, Eliott chases his lips, giving up only when Lucas pushes him back by the chest with a giggle.</p><p>“We’re at work. Behave.”</p><p>“Excuse me,” Eliott scoffs. “I was behaving. You’re the one who decided to slip me some tongue.”</p><p>Lucas grins suddenly, bright and sweet and just… so fucking cute. The brat. “Yeah.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “Stop stalling. Let’s go.” He turns, Lucas’s hand tightly clasped in his, and leads the way to the cafeteria door.</p><p>“You think they’ll all be there?”</p><p>Eliott glances back at him. “If Idriss had his way? Definitely.”</p><p>Lucas groans. “Fuckers.”</p><p>“We only have to do it once,” Eliott comforts, pushing through the door. “Then they’ll shut up.”</p><p>“They absolutely won’t,” Lucas mumbles as they walk into the space. He’s right of course – their friends will give them shit for <em>years</em> Eliott has no doubt – but he’s trying to be a supportive boyfriend, here. No sense in being so honest.</p><p>It is a little intimidating actually. Most of their friends – minus Imane – are in the far corner and haven’t noticed them yet. Other eyes in the cafeteria are definitely on them, however, and it actually <em>does </em>feel a lot like high school. Only Eliott isn’t walking across the space wondering what students are whispering about his latest ‘freak out’. No, instead he’s walking hand-in-hand with Lucas Lallemant. A zing of pride whips up Eliott’s spine, straightening his back as he glances over Lucas. Lucas’s hand tightens in his and his eyes are darting around the room, taking stock of everyone noticing them. Eliott knows this is more frightening for him, terrified as he is of being seen as anything but a brilliant surgeon – of being dismissed and undervalued. It makes it all the more special that he’s doing this with Eliott. He was the one who suggested it, in fact. As they’d been walking up to the hospital entrance together. He’d simply turned to Eliott with a smile and said, “What if we say fuck it to the rumours and show up at lunch holding hands?” Eliott hadn’t hesitated to agree. The sooner he got to show off as Lucas’s boyfriend, the better, as far as he was concerned.</p><p>Emma looks in their direction first, eyes dropping to their linked hands before she looks back to their faces, her own splitting in an enormous smile. “No fucking way!” She barks a laugh. “Who had this week?”</p><p>The rest of their friends faces quickly turn to them, before the table erupts in an odd mix of jeers, groans, and laughter.</p><p>“I did!” Daphne insists.</p><p>“Naw, naw,” Yann denies. “Your week passed forever ago. Way too optimistic, Daph.” She pouts.</p><p>“You babe?” Emma asks, nudging Alex who sits with his back to her side, chair pulled up next to her at the table and legs spread on another. He’s on his phone and doesn’t look the least bit interested in the conversation.</p><p>“Think I’d waste money on those fools?” He scoffs as answer.</p><p>They had a running bet. All of their friends. Betting on when he and Lucas would get together? Lucas was right. These <em>fuckers</em>.</p><p>“And this,” Idriss announces loudly, “is why somebody needed to keep track.” He waves his phone at the group.</p><p>“Lemme guess, you called this week,” Daphne complains.</p><p>“Now, now, goldilocks, don’t go callin’ me a cheater when I helped these two assholes get their shit together <em>out of the goodness of my heart</em>, even though I had next week.” He brings up a note on his phone. “This week was –”</p><p>“Me,” Mika’s voice announces as he approaches the table. His eyes sweep across Lucas and Eliott before he looks to the rest of the table. “I believe I’m owed some money, ducklings.”</p><p>“You’re all assholes,” Lucas suddenly speaks from Eliott’s side, lower lip pushed out in a pout Eliott deems far more cute than threatening. “You realize that, right?”</p><p>“Oh, settle down, cupcake,” Mika tuts with a roll of his eyes. “You got your man, didn’t you? And I got my money. Everyone’s happy.”</p><p>“<em>Our</em> money,” Yann grumbles, looking anything but happy.</p><p>And Lucas is right, they are assholes, but Eliott can’t help but consider what this means.</p><p>“You guys were that sure?” He speaks. “That we’d end up together?” The table as a whole falls silent, turning to look at Eliott with identical expressions of incredulity.</p><p>“Of course we were!” Daphne speaks first, voice bright.</p><p>Idriss snorts in clear derision. “Please! You were too busy trying to figure out how to get Eli in bed to notice anything between them.”</p><p>“I was not!” Daphne gasps. “I love Bas!”</p><p>“Yeah,” Yann joins in with a laugh. “And he wants to bang Eli too.” Idriss grins, offering Yann a hand in some sort of slap-slash-congratulatory handshake.</p><p>“Who doesn’t want to bang Demaury?” Emma joins in, giving him a quick and thorough look over.</p><p>“Me for one,” Alex pipes up from her side. “I’d take Lucas over Eli any day of the week.”</p><p>Eliott frowns at him, just as Lucas squeezes his hand and leans closer.</p><p>“That’s really what you took from the conversation?”</p><p>Eliott tunes out their friends continued idiotic banter – though he makes a note to drop Alex’s toothbrush in the toilet later – and turns to Lucas instead, smiling with a slight shrug. “It’s sweet. They believed in us.”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, but he can’t help the way a smile stretches across his face. “Idiot.” It might as well be an I love you.</p><p>“Come on,” Eliott suggests, squeezing his hand. “Let’s go get some food and find somewhere to eat far, far away from them.”</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas agrees easily.</p><p>“Hey!” Mika yells just as they turn around to leave the table. Lucas releases an aggrieved sigh, turning back to face them, and Eliott releases his hand, swapping it for standing behind him instead, dropping an arm across his chest to hug him back into Eliott’s.</p><p>“What?” Lucas challenges. “Got money on when we first fucked and need to clarify the date?” Eliott snickers, pressing his laugh to the side of Lucas’s head.</p><p>Mika doesn’t look the least bit put off by Lucas’s ire, one eyebrow cocking up in equal challenge. “As a matter of fact, we did… until you two made it next to impossible to tell. Forced us to change it up to when you made it official.”</p><p>“I still think I’m right,” Emma says. “They fucked the first night they met.”</p><p>“Naw,” Alex disagrees. “Told you Eli went home with Anna that night.” Lucas tenses beneath him at the sound of Anna’s name. Eliott tightens his hold, pressing a kiss to the side of Lucas’s head in comfort.</p><p>“Ok,” Yann joins in. “Can we maybe not talk about how my girl used to bang <em>him</em>? I’ve been working to repress that knowledge.”</p><p>“What do you care?” Emma dismisses. “Couldn’t have been that great with him if she’s your girl now.”</p><p>“Hey!” Eliott protests.</p><p>“We’re leaving,” Lucas interrupts before Eliott has a chance to defend his sexual honor.</p><p>“Wait!” Mika flaps a hand at the table to quiet them down. “I had a point!”</p><p>Eliott can <em>feel </em>Lucas roll his eyes. “Fine. What?”</p><p>Mika straightens, an extended pause allowing for the dramatic effect he’s so clearly seeking. “Now, we’re all very happy you two got your heads out of your very perky asses and came together. But make no mistake, you <em>come together</em> on shift, I’ll know and I will kick you so hard in those asses, neither of you will be coming for a week. Capiche?”</p><p>“We won’t,” Eliott quickly answers. “We’re professional.”</p><p>Mika doesn’t look convinced. “Mmhmm, we’ll talk about that the day you show up in front of me trying to pass off come stains for baby spit up, hmm.”</p><p>“Yann!” Eliott yells, shocked Yann would have shared such a story with their friends at large. With <em>Mika</em>.</p><p>Yann looks at him wide-eyed. “I didn’t!”</p><p>“Wait,” Emma leans forward, slapping a hand to the table. “That actually happened?!”</p><p>“Eliott, you didn’t!” Daphne admonishes, looking scandalized.</p><p>Oh Jesus. Oh no. All eyes of the table are on him now and range from amused (Idriss) to impressed (Alex) to genuinely shocked (Mika).</p><p>“I…”</p><p>Lucas saves him, pulling out of his arms and pointing a threatening finger at all of them. “You assholes would do well to remember I have dirt on all of you.” With that he turns, grabbing Eliott’s hand and dragging him off as their table of friends erupts into laughter behind them.</p><p>“I think we need new friends,” Eliott groans as Lucas pulls him towards the food.</p><p>“I hope you’re not including me in that,” Imane speaks from their side. Eliott runs into Lucas’s back as he abruptly stops walking, stumbling as he instead moves to his side. Lucas looks at him in amusement before turning back to Imane.</p><p>“‘Course not. We’ll keep you.”</p><p>“And Sof,” Eliott adds. “But we’re throwing away the rest of them.”</p><p>Imane laughs. She looks between them both, a serene smile on her face. “I’m happy for you. Knew you’d sort through things.”</p><p>Eliott smiles at her warmly. “Thanks, Imane.”</p><p>“You weren’t part of that bet, were you?” Lucas asks, eyes calculating.</p><p>Imane scoffs. “What do you take me for?”</p><p>Lucas chuckles. “Yeah. Ok.”</p><p>She nods and moves to leave before she looks back on them with a wicked smile. “Oh. And thought you might want to know. That intern who had a habit of making himself a nuisance – Jeremy? He’s dropped out of the program.”</p><p>Eliott’s jaw drops. “He has?”</p><p>She shrugs, smiling between them. “Not everyone can hack it.” With that she turns again to leave. “See you two later.”</p><p>Eliott lets Lucas pull him as they begin walking again. Wow. No Moreau. No Jeremy. It feels a lot like Christmas come early.</p><p>“Stop looking so pleased,” Lucas suddenly speaks, looking up at Eliott with an unimpressed look.</p><p>“I’m not,” Eliott banters, letting his smile stretch even wider.</p><p>Lucas raises one eyebrow. “It has nothing to do with you… or me. He was struggling from the very start.”</p><p>“Un hunh.”</p><p>“Stop smiling.”</p><p>“No can do,” Eliott smiles.</p><p>Lucas turns just as they reach the stack of food trays. He tips his chin up and makes an attempt at a glare – he’s never looked more kissable. “Just for that I’m gonna mix bit of chocolate and fries into your salad when you’re not looking.” What a brat.</p><p>“Hey Lucas,” Eliott steps closer, pressing into his space and marveling at the way Lucas’s eyes begin to dilate, his lips parting, “what do you say we skip lunch and find an empty on-call room?”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth twitches at the corners. “You suggesting we break Mika’s rules less than a minute after he threatened us?”</p><p>Eliott moves a hand up to brush a stray hair from Lucas’s forehead. He remembers how much it used to annoy him – the perpetual mess that is Lucas’s hair. But then, it hadn’t really. Eliott thinks he’d known it even then, as he’d watched Lucas’s hair flop onto his forehead every time he’d bent his head to read a chart and Eliott’s fingers had twitched to brush it back, choosing to yell at Lucas instead. Eliott hadn’t been ready to admit it, but he’d known it – that one day, when inevitably – <em>inescapably</em> – hate turned to like, and like to love, he’d be the one to brush the hair from Lucas’s eyes, to smile in the early morning hours as he watched Lucas battle with the unruly strands before finally giving up, to tell him he loved his hair just as Eliott loved him, and to have it said in return. He’d known it. Lucas was his to love, as he was Lucas’s.</p><p>“I am.”</p><p>Lucas stares into his eyes, the deep blue of his own an endless ocean Eliott wades into, the emotions, once guarded, wash over him, at the core of them all – love. And Eliott can’t help but wonder how he was ever blind to the endless warmth of the water. Lucas smiles.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Fini!!! </p><p>I hope you all enjoyed it. I really have loved every bit of writing this story. There is still the epilogue to go and I love it a whole lot too - it will be up next weekend. </p><p>A few random notes about this chapter:<br/>- It wasn't an intentional reference but I reminded myself of 10 Things I Hate About You with Lucas's 'I hate that I don't hate you' so we're gonna call that a shout-out to a great movie!<br/>- The elevator being used in that scene was a shout-out to the anons who asked me to include an elevator kiss as an ode to Grey's Anatomy (you know I had to take that suggestion and make it angsty!)</p><p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Here we go. Final FINAL chapter. I hope you love it. </p><p>Also - I am behind (again! Shame me!) on comments from the last chapter. I will still be going back to read and reply to all of them so my apologies in the delay in getting back to all of you wonderful readers who leave your thoughts. It has been a WEEK but I will have some fun going back to those comments &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“<em>Lucas</em>,” Eliott whines. “It’s a surprise party. We can’t be late. It defeats the purpose of a surprise if we run into Sof on the way!”</p><p>“Yeah, thanks,” Lucas scoffs from where he is <em>still </em>fussing with his hair in the bathroom. “I’m familiar with the concept.”</p><p>Eliott slumps against the corner of the hallway, pouting in Lucas’s direction. “You look hot. Let’s just go.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes meet his in the reflection of the mirror. “You’re the reason it got fucked up in the first place. You can wait as I fix it.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “That’s not how I remember it. I was just innocently changing. You’re the one who insisted on giving me a blowjob. What was I supposed to do? <em>Not </em>touch your hair?” Impossible. Not a reality Eliott will subscribe to. No sir. No thanks.</p><p>Lucas snorts. “You were waving your dick around in my face. It was either punch <em>you </em>or suck <em>it.</em>”</p><p>“Would you two stop talking about blowjobs?!” Alex yells from the living room. “I am right here. You do realize I’m right here?! I don’t need to hear about your fucking dicks.”  </p><p>“Why Delano?” Lucas grins, <em>finally </em>leaving the bathroom. He stops across from Eliott, leaning on the opposing corner and smirking in Alex’s direction. “Does it make you hard?”</p><p>Alex looks up from the movie playing on his computer, grinning. “Only when it’s you, Lallemant.”</p><p>“Stop it,” Eliott interrupts, latching onto Lucas’s hand and dragging him towards the front door. “Stop flirting with one another.”</p><p>“You know, if you were satisfying him,” Alex yells after them, “you wouldn’t need to worry about me.”</p><p>“I am satisfying him, you asshole!” Eliott yells back while Lucas laughs, sitting down on the bench at the door to put on his shoes.</p><p>“You think that’s funny?” Eliott challenges, knocking his foot against Lucas’s.</p><p>“Cute, actually,” Lucas says, standing up. “You’re cute when you’re jealous.”</p><p>“I’m not jealous of fucking <em>Alex</em>,” Eliott scoffs.</p><p>“Are too!” Alex yells from the other room. Eliott ignores him.</p><p>“I’m not jealous at all.”</p><p>“Right,” Lucas nods with mock seriousness. “And that thing with Jeremy the other day? Not a hint of jealousy then either.”</p><p>Ok… Lucas has him there. Jeremy had approached Lucas at the hospital the week prior to say goodbye and apologize for his behaviour. Lucas, who didn’t think Jeremy had anything to apologize for, had gladly accepted and the two had parted on affable terms. While Eliott had been tempted to reveal Jeremy for being the monumentally shitty person he is, the thought of telling Lucas that yet one more person in his life he’d trusted, had actively tried to hurt him – intentionally betrayed him – would have served no purpose beyond satisfying Eliott’s desire that Lucas think as ill of Jeremy as Eliott did. And the cost… hurting Lucas. Eliott had chosen to remain silent on the matter instead, biting his tongue when Jeremy had approached and Lucas had smiled graciously. And by that, Eliott means he’d glared from the sidelines and allowed Lucas to read the situation as a childish streak of jealousy. It was hardly something Eliott could contradict. He’d set a precedent after all.</p><p>“Jeremy is a douchenozzle.” It was true then. It remains true now. On this, Eliott will not give.</p><p>“Oh Jesus,” Lucas sighs, pushing past Eliott and opening the door. “Come on, before I decide to leave you behind.”</p><p>Eliott grins following. Lucas would never. Besides, he might not admit it but… he thinks Jeremy is a douchenozzle too.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott collapses down onto the reading chair in an unoccupied corner of the room. He’d only just managed to escape a conversation with Daphne and Basile. It’s not that he doesn’t like them – he loves them in fact – but they can just be… a little much at times. Eliott supposes the emotional toll of the past few weeks has left him more depleted of social energy than he realized. And as much as he loves his friends, they require energy. As a matter of fact, Lucas is one of the only people in Eliott’s life he’s ever found it totally effortless to be around… just… easy. Even when it wasn’t. He’d choose Lucas over everyone.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes land on the boy at the center of his thoughts. Lucas is crowded in a group comprised of Yann, Arthur, and Idriss. He’s speaking animatedly, gesturing wildly with his hands as the other boys laugh. It feels like a sort of miracle… that Eliott got that… him… Lucas. He’s like a sunbeam people crowd to warm themselves in. And he’s Eliott’s.</p><p>“He’s something – your boy. I can see why you’re a mess over him.”</p><p>Eliott looks to his side to see Anna approaching with a smile, she perches on the arm of the chair, leaning against his side as they both look back to the group talking.</p><p>“I’m not a mess,” Eliott lies. “We’re together now. I’m totally chill.”</p><p>She scoffs, moving a hand to ruffle his hair. “You’re never gonna be chill about that boy.”</p><p>She’s right. No use admitting that though. Eliott shifts to be able to look up at her. “And you and Yann?”</p><p>“Actually chill,” she grins.</p><p>“And…” He wiggles an eyebrow. “Still holding out?”</p><p>“Oh no,” she scoffs. “I sucked that dick on the second date.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I hope he returned the favour?”</p><p>She cocks an eyebrow. “Think I’d still be with him if I didn’t get mine?” She smiles, smug. “Boy’s better with his tongue than you were.”</p><p>Eliott makes a noise of outraged offense. “I’m great with my tongue!”</p><p><em>“I know that.” </em>Eliott looks up just as Lucas plops down on his lap. Eliott <em>oofs</em>, arms automatically wrapping around his waist, while Lucas’s move to loop around Eliott’s shoulders. “Why are you talking about your tongue?” While the question is asked of Eliott, Lucas is looking at Anna.</p><p>She laughs, raising her hands in surrender as she stands up from her position next to Eliott on the chair. “Chill with the laser eyes, jealous boy. The point was I have no interest in your man’s tongue.”</p><p>“<em>Anymore</em>,” Lucas adds, living up to the nickname Anna has just given him.</p><p>“Anymore,” Anna concedes, just as Yann approaches from beside her, smiling as he hooks a hand around her waist. Neither Anna nor Lucas acknowledge his arrival, continuing to stare at one another instead, expressions unreadable. Yann looks to Eliott in confusion.</p><p>“What’s going on?”</p><p>“I think they’re trying to telepathically murder one another,” Eliott offers in an exaggerated whisper.</p><p>Anna breaks the stare-off to roll her eyes at Eliott. “Lucas and I were just coming to an understanding,” she tells Yann as she turns to him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips.</p><p>“Yeah?” Yann smiles. “That mean we can plan the double-date?”</p><p>“Settle down, Cazas,” Lucas says, sinking back into Eliott’s chest as he turns more towards his friend. “We’re not there yet.”</p><p>“Lulu,” Yann begins, and Eliott can tell he’s about to lecture Lucas on maturity and adult relationships. Anna cuts him off before he can go down a path that was only going to lead to bloodshed… Yann’s most likely, judging by the way Lucas is looking at his friend right now.</p><p>“Hun,” Anna says, looking at him with a patient smile, “I went from his boyfriend’s dick to his best friend’s dick. Give him time.”</p><p>“Wasn’t my boyfriend then,” Lucas responds, a more agreeable quality to his tone. Eliott doesn’t think he’s wrong in interpreting this comment from Lucas as a concession to Anna, and the two smile at one another.</p><p>“Anyways,” Yann intones, giving Eliott a look that very clearly reads, ‘<em>We really got ourselves into it, didn’t we?’</em> Eliott nearly laughs. “You scrubbing in for Millet’s spinal next week?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head. “Nah, one of the residents.”</p><p>“Psshhh,” Yann scoffs. “What good is having a mentor if you don’t get the surgeries?”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I think the point is to learn from him, not secure an in for surgery.”</p><p>“Yeah, but it should still work in your favour,” Yann protests.</p><p>“He’s only mentoring me. I’m sure it will,” Eliott allows.</p><p>“Not anymore,” Lucas suddenly speaks, turning his head back to look at Eliott.</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment, letting the meaning of Lucas’s words sink in. “Really? You?”</p><p>Lucas nods, mouth quirking up into a smile. “Got yourself some competition, average.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, beyond pleased by this news. He’s still gonna give Lucas shit for it though. “After all the times you hassled me about Millet’s motives?”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, lips pursed. “I had my reasons.” Yes, Eliott supposes he had a lot of reasons to question the motives of senior doctors. “Turns out he’s ok.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes him closer, pressing a kiss to the side of Lucas’s neck. “I’m glad.”</p><p>Lucas smiles a little, curling into Eliott’s chest. “Not going into ortho though.”</p><p>“I don’t know,” Eliott hums, moving a hand to rub against the side of Lucas’s thigh. “Becoming pretty fond of bones myself.”</p><p>“Alright,” comes Anna’s voice, “I think that’s our cue to go.” When Eliott glances up at the couple, both she and Yann are sporting identical looks of exasperation and fond.</p><p>Arthur suddenly appears from behind them, arms falling over Yann and Anna’s shoulders as he squeezes his face between theirs. “Guys, guys, guys,” his eyes very clearly tell the story of him imbibing more than alcohol this evening, “we’re all going to the roof! Idriss bought fireworks!”</p><p>“That sounds like a terrible – definitely going to end in injuries – idea,” Eliott says with a light laugh and shake of his head.</p><p>“Good thing we’re surrounded by doctors then,” Arthur rebuts. With that he offers Anna a wink, smacks Yann on the ass, and runs towards a waiting Bas.</p><p>Yann and Anna laugh, turning to follow as the rest of the party files out of the apartment and into the hall.</p><p>Eliott pets Lucas’s thigh. “We going?”</p><p>Lucas nods but makes no move to get out of Eliott’s lap, instead twisting until he’s cupping Eliott’s face between his hands. He brushes his thumbs against the delicate skin beneath Eliott’s eyes.</p><p>“What?” Eliott asks, voice unconsciously dropped to a whisper.</p><p>Lucas smiles, moving one hand to tap a finger against Eliott’s lips. “You’re my favourite person, you know?”</p><p>Eliott stills beneath him, so moved by the sentiment and gentle honesty in the way Lucas speaks it, he has to swallow heavily before he dares speak. “You’re mine too. Always have been.”</p><p>Lucas exhales a quick breath of laughter. “Even when I piss you off?”</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott answers honestly. “Even when you’re the most frustrating person I’ve ever known. Especially then.” Lucas’s cheeks are rosy pink, and Eliott marvels at his ability to make Lucas blush so easily. He hopes it never changes – hopes Lucas will still blush when Eliott reciprocates sweet thoughts, even when they’re old and grey.</p><p>“Hey!” Idriss’s voice cuts through the warmth surrounding them. When Eliott looks towards him. He stands in the hall, a hand pointed in their direction. Manon is by his side, looking amused. “You even think about getting whorey up in my room again, I’m disowning both of you.”</p><p>“Did he just say ‘whorey’?” Eliott whispers in Lucas’s ear. Lucas snickers, calling out to Manon.</p><p>“You approve of this language?”</p><p>She raises an unimpressed eyebrow their direction. “I don’t approve of having to wonder if I’m slipping into sheets with <em>your </em>bodily fluids on them tonight so… yeah… you two behave yourselves.” With that, Idriss swings an arm around her shoulders and they leave, a cocky swing to their steps. It makes Eliott <em>want</em> to defile Idriss’s bed.</p><p>“Kinda wanna fuck up his room now,” Lucas says, as though he’d plucked the thought from Eliott’s head.</p><p>“Should probably join them though,” Eliott sighs. </p><p>Lucas nods, pushing up from Eliott’s lap to a stand. “Guess if I have to spend time with people who aren’t you,” he says, turning towards Eliott, “our friends aren’t so bad.”</p><p>God, he’s going to kill Eliott if he keeps dropping these romantic sentiments in the guise of casual conversation. Eliott hooks an arm around his neck, pulling him in for a quick, hard kiss. “Yeah,” he agrees as he pulls back, “they’re no you. But they’re ok.”</p><p>Lucas grins brightly. “Who we putting money on needing medical attention first. Bas or Arthur?”</p><p>“Is that even a fair question?” Eliott has known Bas for a fraction of the time Lucas has, and still it seems the obvious choice.</p><p>“Nah,” Lucas disagrees, reading the thoughts in Eliott’s head. “Daphy’s there to keep him from blowing his own arm off.” Ohhhh. Fair point. Still…</p><p>Eliott scrunches his mouth to the side as he thinks. “Money’s still on Bas.”</p><p>“Money?” Lucas smirks, pulling out of his arms and sauntering towards the door with a saucy glance over his shoulder. “I was thinking we’d make it more interesting than that.”</p><p>Blood rushes so quickly from Eliott’s head to a spot much further south, he’s mildly dizzy as he jogs to catch up with Lucas, promptly tripping over shoes left in the hall with yelp.</p><p>Lucas laughs, pulling the door open. “Fucking giraffe legs.”</p><p>Eliott smirks. “Feeling a little Lulu lemon drop?”</p><p>“Fuck off!” Lucas huffs, turning and marching away from Eliott.</p><p>“Baby…”</p><p>“Move it or lose it, average.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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* * * *</p><p> </p><p>When Lucas arrives it’s to the sight of Eliott at the center of a cluster of children. He’s sitting cross-legged on the ground – a feat considering the length of the idiot’s legs – giggling along with the children as Marine reads them a story. She’d been discharged following recovery from her surgery, and Lucas has never seen her without a hospital gown. She must have come back just for the purpose of a visit and she’s dressed for the occasion. She wears a pretty sundress, a mishmash of purples, and there’s a deep purple bow clipped into her short hair. It’s grown quickly over the last month and the short strands have begun to curl at the end. She reading the book much like how Lucas reads them, with exaggerated movements and a gesturing of her hands that’s making her far more interesting than the pictures from the book of which she reads. The kids, however, are by in large, much more enamoured with Eliott, staring up at him to take cues from his every reaction. When he smiles, they smile. When he laughs, they laugh. When he tells Marine was a wonderful job she’s done reading, they join in with a plethora of compliments. Lucas can’t imagine a more perfect picture. And he’s so happy – so fucking happy – it makes his hands go clammy and his heart pick up speed. He knows it’s going to take a while to get used to it – to feel it without the accompanying panic – but with Eliott’s help, it’s getting easier. Because he’s not going to lose Eliott. He knows that. Believes it even.</p><p>As though he can sense Lucas’s presence, Eliott turns, face stretching into a wide smile when he sees Lucas at the door. It’s a good thing too. Lucas has never done well without Eliott’s attention. The kids follow Eliott’s gaze and a burst of excitement follows them spotting him. Lucas will never get over that. No matter the context of his visits, no matter how crappy their circumstances, they still have that – joy and excitement over something as simple as Lucas visiting. It always puts his own shit in perspective.</p><p>“Lucas!” Too many kids are yelling his name for him to give adequate attention to all of them as he makes his way to the group. He does his best until his eyes meet Eliott’s. And, well… he always has been a sucker for those eyes.</p><p>“Hi. Late as usual,” Eliott greets, not looking the least bit annoyed.</p><p>Lucas pulls the book from his side, tipping it for Eliott to see the cover. “Nearly forgot this at home.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth parts as he sees The Little Prince in Lucas’s hands. When his eyes land back on Lucas’s face, they’re doing that thing that makes Lucas want to equal parts cry and tear off his clothes – neither of which is an appropriate reaction in this context. Eliott has no business looking at him like that and yet, he does it <em>all the time</em>. Mika and Lucas had been bickering the other day, and when Lucas had gotten in the final word and turned… there Eliott had been… looking at him like <em>that</em>. It had Lucas seriously considering letting Eliott shove him up against a hospital wall to makeout and that just wasn’t going to result in career longevity. Even when Lucas had told Eliott off for once again filling in a patient’s medical history with unnecessary ‘life story’ details, it had only resulted in Eliott and those damn eyes. Lucas was beginning to doubt his ability to remain professional when the location of said profession came with Eliott attached. Turns out working with the love of your life is both the best and worst of worlds.</p><p>The kids, of course, don’t let them get away with it anyways, erupting into a chorus of ‘<em>oooohhhhhh</em>’ when Eliott and Lucas hold one another’s gaze for just a moment too long.</p><p>“Is he your <em>boyfriend?</em>” Marine asks, a question she’s asked Lucas before. He’s never given her an answer.</p><p>“As a matter of fact,” Lucas smirks, “he is.”</p><p>A hush falls over the group as they take this in, before the giggles start, and then the questions. Barely discernable from one another as the kids talk over one another, Lucas catches a, ‘Do you <em>kiss?!</em>’ and a ‘Are you going to get married?’ before Marine’s voice rings out above them all.</p><p>“What?!” She looks shocked. “He is?!” Oh. Make that shocked and <em>upset</em>.</p><p>Lucas adopts his best contrite look – though he has a feeling he’s not terribly successful. Mika told him the other day that his happiness has the side effect of making him seem more smug than anything else – ok, so his exact words had been, ‘Getting your dick wet on the regular has made you especially intolerable, kitten. Take that smug face and go get me a latte.’ And judging by the look on Marine’s face, Lucas is correct in assuming she won’t be buying an apology from him any time soon. “Sorry, sweets,” he offers all the same, “I’m afraid he is.” She pouts. Lucas smiles as he looks at her, taking in the sullen look on her face and collapsed posture of pure disappointment.</p><p>It’s with startling clarity that Lucas realizes just how normal it is – how little he would ever blame her for having a crush on Eliott. Just the opposite, in fact. He understands completely. In her position, he would one hundred percent have had a crush on Eliott too. And he had been – in her position. He’d been just like her. A little older, yes, but still a child. A child with a crush on the handsome surgeon who was so kind to him. Who gave him attention. Who made Lucas feel special. He hadn’t been at fault for harbouring such feelings at such a tender age. The only person who had been at fault had been Eric, who had looked at Lucas as a child and seen something he could shape and control, someone he could mold into his perfect romantic partner. Lucas can’t imagine anything more fucked up. He’d learned not to blame himself as he’d gotten older, of course, but knowing something intellectually and feeling it emotionally – as he does when he looks at Marine – are two very different things. But she’s lucky. The object of her crush is Eliott. Lucas couldn’t think of a better choice for the harmless romantic musings of a child. Eliott will treat her with kindness and care. Eliott will look at her and see a child, innocent, and sweet, and worth protecting. God. Lucas really loves him.</p><p>“Are we going to read it then?” Comes Eliott’s voice from beside them. There’s a soft smile on his face when Lucas turns to look at him. He doesn’t seem to have caught the interaction – too busy being berated with questions by the other children.</p><p>“Dunno,” Lucas answers, looking back to Marine. “You want to do the honors?”</p><p>She looks up at him, eyes wide. “Really?”</p><p>“Sure.” He offers the book, but she only stares at it until finally she looks up with a smile.</p><p>“I like when you read more.”</p><p>Lucas grins and moves to take the reading stool she’s left for him. He strips himself of his hoodie, tossing it onto a beanie chair to the side before he takes his seat.</p><p>“How come you have a tattoo?”</p><p>Lucas looks up to see one of the younger kid’s asking, before he looks back down at his arm. It’s still odd to see it like this sometimes. He’s so used to tucking it away, out of sight from prying eyes, a part of him he didn’t share with a lot of people. It hadn’t even been a conscious choice to stop hiding it. One day he’d been getting dressed, looking over at Eliott who had been battling with his skinny jeans, and decided to forgo the long-sleeved shirt. And that had been that.</p><p>“Just… like it,” he offers as answer.</p><p>“Are doctors allowed tattoos?” Another kid asks.</p><p>“Of course, they are,” Marine answers for him. “Lucas has one.”</p><p>“It’s his mood tattoo,” Eliott speaks, crouching down at the back of the group to sit with the kids. Lucas huffs a laugh while the kids turn to Eliott eagerly.</p><p>“A mood tattoo?” “What’s a mood tattoo?” “Is it like a superpower?” “A doctor superpower?!”</p><p>Eliott smiles patiently at each of their questions, glancing towards Lucas before he answers. “You see how there are all those colours?” The kids turn to look back at Lucas and he helpfully stretches his arm out for them to inspect. “Well,” Eliott continues, lowering his voice as though he’s about to share trade secrets, “they change colour depending on his mood. So, I can always tell when he’s happy or sad,” a quick look to Lucas, “or something else.”</p><p>The kids’ attention swings between Eliott and Lucas, inspecting Lucas’s tattoo thoroughly before they look back at Eliott as though trying to gauge whether to believe this tall tale.</p><p>“Really?” One of them finally gasps.</p><p>“No,” Marine speaks, though she looks uncertain. “He means pretend… right?”</p><p>Eliott smiles at her kindly. “That depends. Do you guys believe in magic?”</p><p>There’s a moment of consideration, the kids nervously looking to one another for guidance, before finally Marine answers.</p><p>“Un hunh. I do. My uncle Max does magic.” The rest of the kids quickly join in, overlapping voices shouting agreement.</p><p>“Well, you see…” Eliott looks up, catching Lucas’s gaze and holding it. “Lucas is like magic to me.” Lucas’s breath catches in his throat as Eliott’s attention returns to the awe-filled faces of the kids.</p><p>“Maybe that’s why you can see it,” Marine gasps, as though she’s just solved a riddle. “Because he’s magic to <em>you</em>. So <em>you</em> see the mood tattoo.” The other kids nod eagerly at this explanation.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, smile so wide his eyes scrunch with it. “That must be it.”</p><p>“What colour is it now?” A little boy asks.</p><p>Eliott looks up once more at Lucas, smile softening as their eyes meet. “It’s blue. It’s shades of blue.” Lucas didn’t know it was possible to love someone this much.</p><p>“COOL!” One of the kids cries out, signaling a renewed storm of questions being asked of Eliott.</p><p>“Ok, ok,” Lucas calls out, clearing his throat of the emotion clogging it. “Settle down and leave my boyfriend alone. We gonna read or what?” The kids grumble but turn towards him, sitting obediently as Lucas sets the book in his lap. He can <em>feel </em>the way Eliott’s looking at him and focuses on the cover of the book instead. Looking up will only lead to him tackling Eliott and kissing him in a way that would absolutely not be appropriate for the young, impressionable children surrounding them.</p><p>Lucas flips open the cover, fingers brushing over the message left there by Eliott. <em>Love, Eliott</em>. It had been the first time Lucas had thought to himself, ‘I’m going to tell him.’ As he’d stood in the hospital with Eliott, staring down at these words, he’d <em>wanted</em> to tell him. <em>I love you</em>. <em>I am so in love with you.</em></p><p>Lucas flips to the first page, clearing his throat and looking up to the awaiting faces, the eyes of one in particular blanketing him in such warmth and comfort, it’s a wonder Lucas ever finds the strength to look away. He reads.</p><p>“Once when I was six years old I saw a magnificent picture in a book…”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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* * * *</p><p> </p><p>Lucas reaches for his hand first, gripping it tightly as they make their way into the seniors’ residences.</p><p>“Do you think she’ll be mad we didn’t come to see her earlier?”</p><p>Eliott looks over to see Lucas worrying his lower lip. “Claudine? Mad?” He chuckles. “No. I phoned her a couple times anyways.”</p><p>“Of course you did,” Lucas scoffs.</p><p>Eliott has to drop Lucas’s hand to sign in at the front desk, smiling at the receptionist. The moment he turns, Lucas snatches it back, his own a little sweaty. “Why are you so nervous? Claudine likes you,” Eliott asks as he leads them to the hall to the bedrooms.</p><p>“I know,” Lucas huffs as though the thought of someone <em>not </em>liking him were utterly ridiculous. “She just…” He shrugs. “It’s like she always knows what I’m thinking or something. It’s weird.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “Yeah. I know what you mean.” He swings Lucas’s hand. “In your case, I think it’s mostly because you’re so similar.”</p><p>That has Lucas raising an eyebrow as he looks over at Eliott. “Similar?”</p><p>Eliott nods, smile perhaps a little smug. “Yep.” He pops the ‘p’. “You both know just what it’s like to be the bane of someone’s existence.”</p><p>“Shut up,” Lucas snorts just as they arrive at Claudine’s room. There’s a wreath hanging on the door made of different colourful bits of paper, and the door itself is open a crack. Eliott knocks, calling out to her before pushing the door open at her “Come in! Come in!”</p><p>Eliott leads the way in and is greeted by Claudine using her cane to hobble as quickly as possible in his direction.</p><p>“Eliott darling!” She cries delightedly. She’d known he was coming but she still reacts as though it is the most tremendous surprise she could imagine. Her eyes land on Lucas and widen. “And Lucas! Oh my goodness. What a wonderful surprise.”</p><p>“You didn’t know I was coming?” His hand grips Eliott’s to the point of near pain. And yes, ok, it’s a bit of a dick move not to warn Lucas or Claudine but…</p><p>“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Eliott explains, adopting his best puppy dog eyes as he looks to Lucas. Lucas doesn’t look the least bit impressed.</p><p>“And it is,” Claudine assures, leaning forward to kiss Eliott on the cheeks before giving Lucas the same treatment. Her eyes drop to their linked hands. “A wonderful surprise.” She smiles at them both warmly. “I’ve set us up some tea and treats on the deck. I’m afraid I may have gone a little overboard, so it’s a good thing you’ve joined us, Lucas.”</p><p>She’s moving remarkably well as she leads them to her outside patio. Recovery can come with so many complications with a patient of her age, it fills Eliott with warmth to see her doing so well. “Look at you,” he comments, “looking more spry than me!”</p><p>She laughs softly and Eliott drops Lucas’s hand to quickly move to pull out her chair for her. She smiles at him gratefully as she takes her seat at the small table. “Thank you, dear.”</p><p>“How has your physiotherapy gone?” Lucas asks taking the seat next to her while Eliott moves to the seat across the table from them both.</p><p>“Well, I must admit, it’s a lot more challenging than I expected,” she says, before her eyes take on a mischievous glint as she looks between them, “but my doctor is quite the looker if I do say so myself.”</p><p>Eliott and Lucas laugh.</p><p>“Claudine, you mean to tell me you’ve been flirting with your physiotherapist?” Eliott teases.</p><p>“Well, what good is having a beautiful man’s hands all over me if I can’t?” She banters.</p><p>“I’m sure it’s helped with the recovery process,” Lucas says with a light laugh, reaching to take the teapot from Claudine where she’s struggling to pour. He begins filling their cups.</p><p>“It certainly makes the whole process a lot more enjoyable when one’s doctor is so pleasant to look at.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “Yeah, Lucas’s patients know a little about that.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, looking genuinely confused as he sets the teapot down and retakes his seat. Is he kidding?</p><p>“Your patients,” Eliott says again, eyebrows raised in disbelief. “You really going to pretend you don’t know.”</p><p>Lucas looks disgruntled now. “Know what?”</p><p>Eliott can’t decide if he’s playing dumb or if he genuinely doesn’t get it. “You get away with being a jerk to them because you’re so beautiful.”</p><p>Lucas looks genuinely stunned by this and Eliott can see Claudine smothering a laugh out of the corner of his eye. “I–” He’s blushing now and looks torn between being flattered and being <em>really </em>annoyed. “I’m not a jerk!” He finally settles on with a huff. “Just because I don’t ask them for their life story every time I take a medical history–”</p><p>“That patient last week,” Eliott interrupts. “You were so rude to him and he still asked you out.” Eliott really hated that guy.</p><p>Lucas immediately rolls his eyes. “I was rude to him because he was being a dick to Daphne. And one patient asking me out doesn’t prove your point. You walk in a room and people literally stop talking to stare at you.”</p><p>That is… such a ridiculous exaggeration but the fact that Lucas thinks as much really makes Eliott want to kiss him. “You staring at me every time I walk in a room doesn’t count, baby.”</p><p>“Fuck off,” Lucas snorts before remembering Claudine’s presence next to him and looking at her apologetically. “Oh, uh, sorry.”</p><p>She pats his arm with a slight laugh as she looks between them, lifting her tea to take a sip. “It’s quite alright, dear.” She reaches for a tray of cookies, depositing a couple on Lucas’s plate before offering them to Eliott. “How much has changed and how much has stayed the same. It’s wonderful.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “You always did take far too much enjoyment in watching us argue.”</p><p>“Well, of course,” she responds, smiling as she watches Lucas begin devouring a cookie, “it makes me feel young again.”</p><p>“Young and driving your husband to the brink, you mean?” Eliott asks with a cheeky grin.</p><p>“Oh,” she tuts and waves a hand through the air, “Lucien loved it. Just as you do.” It’s certainly not something Eliott can deny.</p><p>“Loved it because he loved you,” Eliott clarifies, eyes drifting to where Lucas is now thoroughly ensconced in choosing a pastry from a selection piled on top of another plate.</p><p>“Yes,” Claudine agrees. When Eliott looks back, her gaze is settled on him, eyes gentle. “He did.”</p><p>“Will you tell me the story now?” Eliott asks. “Of how you and he got together?”</p><p>Lucas looks up from his plate, pulling a chocolate scone away from his mouth long enough to ask. “What story?”</p><p>Claudine laughs melodically, reaching forward to wipe a napkin against Lucas’s cheek where he’s managed to smear chocolate. “Oh, well, you see, I had mentioned to your Eliott how my husband, Lucien and I, hadn’t always gotten along.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes brighten and he looks at Eliott. “No?”</p><p>“We despised one another, in fact,” Claudine continues. “Or at least that’s what we told ourselves.”</p><p>Eliott winks at Lucas. “I can relate.”</p><p>“For the record, I did despise you,” Lucas says, turning towards Claudine as he adds, “no one who showed up for shift at seven in the morning looking like him, deserved anything but pure hatred.”</p><p>Claudine giggles, leaning conspiratorially towards Lucas. “My Lucien was quite handsome as well. I didn’t tell him as much, of course. Not for as long as I could help it.”</p><p>“When did you know?” Eliott asks. “That you really liked him I mean?”</p><p>Claudine settles back in her seat with a smile, eyes taking on a wistful quality as she gets lost in the memory. “Well, we were arguing, as we were so often. He’d offered to help me make a birthday cake for my fiancé–”</p><p>“You were engaged to someone else?!” Lucas gasps, sounding utterly scandalized. Eliott can sympathize.</p><p>“I was,” Claudine says, laughing at the look of perfect shock on Lucas’s face. “To a lovely, respectable man. Just not the man for me. But I didn’t know that yet.”</p><p>“So, what happened?” Eliott prompts, thoroughly invested in this love story of a couple he’d never known together.</p><p>“Lucien insisted I was doing things wrong,” she explains. “I was following the recipe exactly, you see. He felt he knew better. He had an ‘instinct’ for such things, he said. And oh my,” she laughs, “the ingredients he wanted to add.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “The other day Eliott tried to add vegan bacon to Manon’s blueberry muffins. Right into the batter.” He shudders in exaggerated disgust. </p><p>“That would have been good!” Eliott complains. His suggestion had been immediately vetoed by not just Lucas and Manon, but Idriss too. The traitor.</p><p>Claudine laughs. “Lucien’s instincts were about on par. And I wasn’t about to allow him to ruin what was sure to be a perfectly respectable cake.” Her smile softens, eyes dropping to the table as she remembers. “He said why settle for respectable when you could have spectacular?”</p><p>Eliott’s gaze drifts to Lucas and finds his boyfriend’s eyes already on him. Spectacular doesn’t even seem like a good enough word. “Did you let him change it then?” Lucas asks, attention returning to Claudine. “Add what he wanted?”</p><p>“Oh no,” she giggles. “I couldn’t make it that easy. I refused. We argued. And I threw batter at him.”</p><p>Stunned silence sits between them for a moment. “You… what?” Eliott asks, a laugh building in his chest.</p><p>“Right in his smug, beautiful face,” she nods.</p><p>“What did he do?” Lucas asks, so clearly charmed by the retelling.</p><p>“I must admit I didn’t think he’d do anything,” Claudine explains. “Certainly a respectable man wouldn’t dare return the favour.”</p><p>“He did though.” Eliott states it less like a question than a fact.</p><p>“He did,” she grins. “He put his hand right in that bowl of batter and came for me.”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas laughs. “What did you do?”</p><p>“I stood my ground of course,” Claudine sniffs. “All I remember is sitting on the floor of the kitchen in the aftermath. Both of us absolutely coated with chocolate batter and laughing until we could barely breathe.”</p><p>Eliott finds himself abruptly emotional. “And that was when you knew,” he manages to say, voice wavering precariously.</p><p>Claudine nods, looking to him. “That’s when I knew I wouldn’t settle for anything less than spectacular.”</p><p>A weighted silence rests in the air between them until Lucas speaks once more.</p><p>“I want to hear the rest. How’d you get together? When was the first time you slept together? Was he good in bed?”</p><p>Claudine bursts into a fit of giggles while Eliott admonishes him. “Lucas! She’s not going to tell us that.”</p><p>“No?” Claudine asks, her expression looking remarkably like Lucas when he’s up to no good. “What about the time Lucien got caught sneaking into my bed the night before our wedding?”</p><p>“Holy shit,” Lucas laughs. “Were you still living with your parents?”</p><p>She nods. “As far as they were concerned, I was still their innocent daughter without a lick of knowledge of men and their carnal needs.”</p><p>“<em>Carnal needs,</em>” Eliott snickers.</p><p>Claudine looks between them, euphoric with the reliving of the memory. “That all changed of course when they caught Lucien in my bed with his pants down. It had never occurred to anyone that I might have needs of my own.”</p><p>“Couldn’t spend a night away from you, hunh?” Lucas asks, grin from ear to ear.</p><p>“Neither of us were particularly fond of time apart,” she admits.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes catch Eliott’s once more and such a longing need suddenly overcomes Eliott he has to reach across the table to touch, taking Lucas’s hand in his own.</p><p>“So?” Lucas asks, squeezing Eliott’s hand as he looks back to Claudine. “We talking unzipped or full naked ass? Caught in the dark or the lights coming on? I want to hear it all. No details omitted.”</p><p>She lights up with a smile. “Well… I always was particularly fond of Lucien’s behind…”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>It’s stupid. It’s nothing. It’s not a big deal. He should not be this nervous. He knows Eliott inside and out. Eliott knows him inside and out. There’s nothing he’s afraid to say to Eliott, nothing he holds back… not anymore. He just needs to say it – ask it – and that will be that. He’s gonna do it. Just… maybe when the movie finishes.</p><p>Eliott can tell something is up. Maybe it’s the fact that they’re actually watching the movie for once despite them having Eliott’s place to themselves. Lucas is one hundred percent sure Eliott picked this boring-ass movie for that reason exactly – because he expected Lucas to jump him ten minutes in. No way he actually enjoys watching pretentious crap like this… god, what is Lucas saying?!! Of course he does. Goddamn pretentious, hipster boyfriends who took a wrong turn one day and ended up in surgery instead of where he really belongs… surrounded by other pretentious, hipster types in film school or something like that. Lucas supposes he should be thankful Eliott did. Somehow though, Lucas knows they would have met anyways. Probably when those giraffe legs got the better of Eliott one day and he ended up in emerg when Lucas was assigned there. Yeah. They would have found one another no matter what.</p><p>Fuck, Lucas. <em>Focus</em>. Just ask. Ask before you die of boredom from having to sit through any more of this black and white crap. Who even enjoys black and white films anymore? Fucking pretentious hipster boyfriends, that’s who. He nervously fiddles with the frame of his glasses. He’s not even sure why he wore them. He doesn’t need them to watch the film. Ok, ok… so he knows. No need to call him out like that. He’d worn them for that look Eliott gets on his face every time he sees Lucas in them. But that’s <em>not the point</em>.</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott abruptly speaks into the silence between them as the film drones on. He reaches for the remote and pauses it, turning to Lucas on the couch. “What’s going on?”</p><p>If possible, Lucas tenses even more. “What?”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott sighs, “look at you. You’re not even touching me right now.”</p><p>“I have to be touching you all the time now?” Lucas snaps. He sounds like a total dick. Shit. He’s already fucking this up before he’s even tried.</p><p>“No,” Eliott answers, sounding infinitely patient, “of course not. But I don’t think there’s ever been a movie night where you haven’t used it as an excuse to snuggle.” He has Lucas there. “Are you angry with me?”</p><p>Fuck. He sounds genuinely worried Lucas might be. Eliott’s been nothing but the perfect boyfriend all day. All <em>week</em>. Meanwhile Lucas has been a nervous wreck, extra snappy and short-tempered. “No,” Lucas offers, “I’m not mad.” With a sigh, he drops his defensive posture and turns to face Eliott on the couch.</p><p>“Baby.” Oh goddammit. Lucas cannot handle it when Eliott calls him that. It makes Lucas want to rip out his heart and lay it on a platter in front of Eliott. “What’s wrong? Talk to me.”</p><p>“Nothing’s wrong,” Lucas admits. “I’m sorry. I just…” He exhales in exasperation. He’s such a goddamn spaz. He really doesn’t understand how Eliott puts up with him. “I just wanted to ask you about something.”</p><p>“Wait,” Eliott’s eyes widen, “is this what you were talking to Yann about?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows pull together. He has no idea what instance Eliott is talking about but there’s a good chance he was. “Probably,” Lucas says with a shrug.</p><p>Eliott’s face lights up with a smile. “Baby,” he laughs, both hands falling to Lucas’s thighs, “you want to move in together?”</p><p>Move in tog – <em>what?! </em></p><p>The shock of Eliott saying something so totally unexpected leaves Lucas literally speechless. “I…”</p><p>“This is why you’re so nervous?” Eliott’s smile is stretched across his entire face. He looks… happy. Really, really happy. About… moving in together? “What – did you think I’d say no?”</p><p>He… no? Does that mean he’s saying… what?! <em>What is happening?!!!</em></p><p>Lucas’s mouth is hanging open he realizes and snaps it shut. “You… you want to?” It’s not that the thought hasn’t occurred to Lucas. He’s thought about it every time he’s had to leave the warmth of Eliott’s arms far too early in the morning to go home before work because he’s forgotten something. He thinks about it every time they discuss who’s place to stay at over a weekend. And he definitely thinks about it every time Lucas is forced to bite his lip rather than cry out as Eliott fucks him to within an inch of his life, for fear of pissing off either of their roommates for the final time. He just… hadn’t been thinking about it <em>now</em>.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott answers with a giddy sort of giggle. “Of course! I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it.” Eliott scooches closer, cupping Lucas’s face between his hands. “God, Lucas. Imagine our own place. No roommates. Just you and me. Doesn’t that sound perfect?” It really does.</p><p>Lucas’s own face spreads in a smile. “Yeah. Just you and me.”</p><p>Eliott leans forward, brushing the tips of their noses together. “We’ll start looking right away.” His voice is gentle, the breath of it warm. Lucas’s eyes flutter closed, and he tips his chin up slightly, waiting for his kiss. “Right away,” Eliott repeats, lips the barest brush against Lucas’s.</p><p>“No,” Lucas gasps, pushing Eliott back. This isn’t what he meant to ask!</p><p>“No?” Eliott looks shocked. Shocked and… hurt? Oh fuck.</p><p>“I mean, yes,” Lucas rushes out. “Fuck!” He quickly moves to grab Eliott’s hands where they’ve dropped to his lap, pulling one up to his mouth and kissing the knuckles. “I’m fucking this up. I want to move in with you. I do, Eli,” he assures. “It’s just… not what I was wanting to talk to you about.”</p><p>“You… weren’t going to ask to move in together?” Eliott asks, looking abashed and seriously fucking adorable in all his embarrassment.</p><p>Lucas has to laugh a little. “No.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes his eyes shut, bringing his other hand up to press against his face. “So, I just asked you to move in together… by thinking you were asking me.”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “It was an effective way of doing it to be honest. Didn’t give me much choice in the matter with it being my idea and all.”</p><p>“Shut up!” Eliott laughs, dropping his hand to grin at Lucas. “Such a fucking brat.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, grinning without shame.</p><p>“Well, what then?” Eliott asks. “If it wasn’t about that… then what?”</p><p>The butterflies in Lucas’s stomach rush back in full force. “Oh, uh, well… I was thinking about getting another tattoo?” Why did he just state that as a question… and not even the question he wants to ask. He really is useless at this. It would be much easier if Eliott could just guess what’s he’s asking, <em>correctly</em> this time.</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott says, looking happy, if a bit confused. “That’s great?”</p><p>“Yeah… uh…” Suck it the fuck up, Lucas. “I was wondering if you wanted to get one too?”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes light up in understanding. “You want to go together? Sure!” Close… but not quite.</p><p>“Not just… not just together,” Lucas begins, looking for any signal that Eliott understands him but there’s no comprehension on his idiot boyfriend’s oblivious face. “Like… the same. The same tattoo.” There. It’s out there. Not quite a question but… he did his best, ok? And if Eliott doesn’t get what he means now… well, Lucas will just have to throw himself off the building. Not that he’s dramatic – no matter what Idriss says.</p><p>“The same?” Understanding dawns slowly on Eliott’s face. A beautiful sight. “You want… matching tattoos?” Lucas can’t totally tell how Eliott feels about it. He doesn’t look upset. But he’s clearly been taken aback and his surprise at the information is delaying all other reaction, making it very difficult for Lucas to know how to respond from here.</p><p>“Maybe not like… exactly matching,” Lucas explains. “But… complementary? Something that makes sense to us both?”</p><p>Eliott’s face <em>finally </em>breaks into a smile, and Lucas exhales at the sight, feeling as though he’s been holding his breath the whole time.</p><p>“A couple’s tattoo,” Eliott says, looking absolutely ecstatic. “You want to get a couple’s tattoo.”</p><p>Count on him to make it sound so goddamn lame. Accurate… but lame. Lucas rolls his eyes. “Yeah,” he admits, though he does so with just the right amount of exasperation in his tone. “I guess.”</p><p>“Oh my god.” That is the closest Eliott has ever come to actually squealing, and suddenly he’s kissing Lucas, one hand cupping Lucas’s jaw, the other threading through his hair to hold him steady as Eliott mashes their lips together. Lucas’s glasses crowd into his face with the force of the kiss. He barely gets a chance to respond before Eliott is pulling back. “This is even better than moving in together. Lucas!” He kisses him again, a smacking, wet press of lips. “We’re moving in together <em>and</em> we’re getting a tattoo together!”</p><p>Lucas huffs a quick laugh. “You didn’t even say yes.”</p><p>“Of course I’m saying yes!” Eliott nearly yells – a very unnecessary volume considering they’re literally face-to-face. “Lucas, this is the best night ever!” And then he’s pushing Lucas back and flattening him to the couch cushion. Confused, Lucas does as Eliott’s hands command, only getting the picture when aforementioned hands are reaching for the waist of his pants.</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas laughs, moving his legs to bracket Eliott’s body, “what are you doing?”</p><p>“I’ve been wanting to get my mouth on your dick since you showed up wearing those fucking glasses,” Eliott explains with a cocky grin and wink. “We’re getting a couple’s tattoo and you’re getting a blowjob.” Oh. <em>Oh.</em> Lucas is on board with that.</p><p>“O - ok.”</p><p>A couple’s tattoo, moving in together, <em>and </em>a blowjob. Lucas couldn’t have imagined the evenings events going better. And he has to marvel at the fact that he’d been so scared to ask. It’s Eliott. He’s always safe with Eliott.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>“So, anyway,” Lucas continues, “his son took over the business. It’s sort of weird to think he was there watching his dad give me my first tattoo and he’ll be the one doing it now.”</p><p>“I think it’s nice,” Eliott comments as they make their way down the street towards the tattoo parlor Lucas had found by chance at sixteen.</p><p>“I had such a crush on him.”</p><p>Ok… maybe not so nice. “You did?”</p><p>Lucas snorts. “Don’t give me that look. I was sixteen. Even was in love with Isak. I’d lost my mom and was depressed as fuck. And he was super cute and held my hand during the painful spots.”</p><p>“Hmm.”</p><p>“Relax,” Lucas laughs, shoving Eliott lightly on the shoulder. “He was twenty at the time and I’m pretty sure he just saw me as a kid to feel sorry for. Besides, he’ll take one look at <em>you</em> now and I doubt he’ll even remember me.”</p><p>Eliott turns his head to look at him incredulously. “You really underestimate the effect you have on people. I’m not the only one who wants you.”</p><p>“Yeah but,” Lucas sighs, flapping a hand towards Eliott, “you’re still… that.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, charmed. Underestimating his own power, and <em>overestimating </em>Eliott’s. “You’re cute.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes, grabbing Eliott’s hand and pulling him towards the shop door. “Shut up.”</p><p>“I won’t. I said what I said.”</p><p>A bell above the door jingles as they enter. The tattoo shop is empty and a voice calls from the back. “Be right there!”</p><p>Eliott pulls Lucas along as he takes in the art decorating the walls. “Wow.”</p><p>“Cool, right?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, fingers skimming over the elaborate illustrations. “What a talented artist.”</p><p>“<em>Thanks</em>.”</p><p>They both turn in the direction of the voice and… oh. Ok. Damn. So maybe Eliott can understand why Lucas had a crush. If this is anything like what this guy had looked when Lucas had been sixteen… Eliott most definitely can’t blame him. Teen Lucas was valid.</p><p>“Lucas,” the guy greets warmly, moving forward with a hand extended. “It’s been a long time.”</p><p>Lucas clasps his hand. “Bastien. Hi. I didn’t think you’d remember me.”</p><p>“Of course,” he smiles and gestures to Lucas’s tattooed arm. “A sixteen-year-old getting a full sleeve? Hard thing to forget. Also nearly broke my hand with how hard you squeezed it.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. “I remember.” He turns to gesture at Eliott with his free hand. “Bastien this is my boyfriend, Eliott.”</p><p>Eliott trips slightly over his own feet as Lucas pulls him forward, and he drops Lucas’s hand to shake Bastien’s. “He – hey.”</p><p>“Nice to meet you, man,” Bastien says pleasantly, taking Eliott’s hand. He holds the grip and turns Eliott’s arm in his, examining the tattoos decorating it. He looks back up with a grin. “Not a newbie then. Good.”</p><p>“No – I – uh – not a – have a few – yeah.” Jesus fucking Christ. Put him face-to-face with a hot tattoo artist and he forgets how to speak.</p><p>Bastien chuckles, releasing Eliott’s hand with a quick pat to his arm before looking between them both. “I’m just gonna go clean up my station, alright? Then we’ll sit down and have a look at what you two want. Cool?”</p><p>“Yeah that’s… cool. That’s cool.”</p><p>Bastien disappears into a room split from the back. Eliott can feel Lucas’s eyes on him… knows just what they’re saying.</p><p>“Don’t.”</p><p>“I’m not saying anything,” Lucas laughs. “Though… neither were you for that matter. You sure you’ve strung a sentence together before, average?”</p><p>Eliott groans, giving in and looking at Lucas. “It’s not my fault… he’s…”</p><p>“Hot. He’s hot.”</p><p>Eliott turns a grumpy look on Lucas. “I don’t like it when you say it.”</p><p>Lucas immediately rolls his eyes. “What sort of stupid double-standard is that?”</p><p>“But I didn’t say he was <em>you </em>hot,” Eliott explains… <em>attempts</em> to explain. “You’re…” The hottest person Eliott’s ever seen. Incomparable.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah,” Lucas huffs. “He’s just the guy you’d fuck if you weren’t with me.”</p><p>Eliott quickly hushes him, glancing furtively towards the back to make sure Bastien hasn’t walked within hearing distance. “Lucas, he’ll hear you.”</p><p>“Whatever.”</p><p>Wait… “Are you…” Eliott mouth quirks up into a smile. “Upset?”</p><p>“No,” Lucas scoffs. “I’d fuck him too.”</p><p>Eliott immediately frowns. “I didn’t say I would.” He tilts his head, examining the way Lucas’s jaw protrudes with his tense posture. “You are. You are upset. You think he’s hot too, but it still pisses you off that I might.”</p><p>“Might?” Lucas scoffs. “Right. Because a hot dude covered in tattoos does nothing for you.” His eyes shift away and lock onto a number of sketches on the wall.</p><p>Oh. <em>Ohhh.</em> That’s what this is about. “Lucas,” Eliott chuckles, advancing on him until Lucas is forced to back up into a table and can go no further, “baby…”</p><p>“Don’t,” Lucas whispers, lip jutting out stubbornly. “Don’t use that voice.”</p><p>“What voice?” Eliott teases… in <em>that </em>voice. “Baby,” he continues, moving a hand up to scrape through Lucas’s hair, “it was never about the tattoo. It was about the tattoo on <em>you</em>.”</p><p>Lucas looks up at him, and <em>fuck, </em>if Eliott knows how to use his voice to great effect with Lucas… he sure gets paid back in spades with the way Lucas uses his eyes. “Yeah?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott assures. “Idriss has tattoos. Alex has tattoos. I promise I have no interest in seeing either of them naked.”</p><p>Lucas’s posture relaxes as he laughs slightly. “Bet you wouldn’t mind seeing a certain tattoo artist naked though.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “If there were tasteful artistic nudes on the internet somewhere… I wouldn’t turn them down.”</p><p>Lucas grins. “We’ll stalk his Instagram later.”</p><p>“Deal.”</p><p><em>“Ready for you two</em>,” Bastien calls as he emerges from the back. “Sorry I can’t do you both at once. You’ll have to decide who wants it first.” He gestures for them to follow him as he turns back around.</p><p>“Don’t say it,” Eliott whispers as he takes Lucas’s hand in his and follows.</p><p>Lucas snickers behind him. “You get hard in there… I am gonna mock the shit out of you.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t doubt it for a second.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>As it turns out… Eliott isn’t the one they needed to worry about it. Initially Eliott thinks Lucas is so tense because he’s nervous. It’s been a lot of years since his first and only tattoo after all. And a full sleeve had left Lucas with a memory involving a lot of pain. So Eliott assumes his rigid posture and the way he keeps holding his breath every time the needle connects, squeezing his eyes shut as though expecting the worst, is because he’s scared.</p><p>It isn’t until Eliott reaches for his free hand, stroking gentle fingers up and down Lucas’s inner forearm, that he realizes. Lucas’s eyes open and land on him. Shock ripples through Eliott’s body. Lucas’s pupils are dilated, nearly blotting out all colour, and the look in them… wild and frenzied… Eliott knows that look. Eliott is regularly on the receiving end of that look… though it’s never been like this… never in the company of someone else. It’s the way Lucas looks when Eliott first pushes inside him, when the head of his cock thrusts past the barrier of Lucas’s body, sinking deeper as Lucas’s body stretches to accommodate his size. Lucas’s mouth parts, and Eliott can see his breath is coming faster, becoming more laboured. Holy fuck… he’s…</p><p>Eliott’s eyes drop to Lucas’s pants. And sure enough, there’s the outline of his erection, painfully obvious against the cotton of his sweatpants. Lucas rips his hand away from Eliott, moving it quickly to his crotch where he attempts to pull the cotton material into a fold that will somewhat camouflage his situation. It’s fruitless, and in doing so he’s jostled his arm. Bastien pulls the needle away, looking up at Lucas.</p><p>“You ok?”</p><p>“Ya,” Lucas rushes to answer, but he can’t stop squirming, and Bastien’s eyes drop to where Lucas pulls at the cotton of his sweatpants. “Sorry!” Lucas chokes. “Sorry, I didn’t mean –”</p><p>“It’s fine,” Bastien cuts him off with a chuckle. “Happens to my girl too. She gets wet as hell every time I tat her. We’re almost done.” He looks at Eliott and winks. “I’m sure your guy will be happy to take care of you after.” With that, he drops his head and continues as though they’d just commented on the weather, and not the fact that Lucas is currently hard and Eliott has every intention of ‘taking care of him’ after.</p><p>Lucas is near vibrating out of his skin by the time Bastien finishes. Eliott’s not sure he’s ever seen him look quite like this. He looks… out of his mind… and he’s stopped trying to hide his erection at all. Though Eliott has a feeling that has more to do with the fact that Lucas can’t stand even the touch of his own hand at the moment. Instead he’s been scratching nails restlessly up and down his thigh as Bastien cleans and wraps the tattoo.</p><p>Lucas moves stiffly as he gets up from the chair, immediately latching to Eliott’s arm when it’s offered as they make their way to the front desk to settle up. Lucas’s nails bite into the skin of Eliott’s forearm and he won’t stop looking at his tattoo, twisting his arm to stare at the colours decorating the underside of his arm through the clear plastic wrapped around his bicep. He hasn’t said a word since Bastien finished. A quick glance down at his crotch, tells Eliott he hasn’t softened at all, his erection stretching the front of his pants obscenely. He doesn’t even seem to care. Eliott has no idea how he will get him home like this – doesn’t know how <em>he’s </em>going to last with Lucas like… this. He swallows heavily and turns to thank Bastien as he slips his card back into his pocket. The door to the shop jingles and Eliott glances back over his shoulder to see a number of young, heavily tattooed girls enter.</p><p>“Listen,” Bastien’s voice calls his attention back, “there’s a change room at the back,” he tilts his head to indicate a room at the corner of the shop. It has a split door, blocking only the main area from view, with visibility through the bottom and top. It doesn’t look like a large space. “I’m gonna be busy for the next little while with them.” He indicates the girls who stand a ways behind them, giggling as they whisper and point in Bastien’s direction. “Go take care of him.”</p><p>Eliott gapes. “Wha – what?”</p><p>“You heard me.” He winks and with that, circles around them to greet the enamoured girls.</p><p>And Eliott is left with a decision to make… only it’s no decision at all. Lucas stares up at him with wide eyes, the desperation virtually pouring off him in waves and…</p><p>He grabs Lucas’s hand and hauls him towards the change room without a backward glance, hoping the girls at the front are distracted enough by Bastien not notice Eliott shoving his boyfriend into the small space and following in after.</p><p>“<em>Eliott</em>,” Lucas whines, immediately reaching for the button of Eliott’s jeans. Eliott slaps his hands away, reaching for Lucas’s shirt and quickly stripping him of it before giving himself the same treatment.</p><p>“We gotta make it fast, ok baby?” Eliott whispers, grabbing Lucas to pull him close as he drops lips to his neck, pressing kisses there as he speaks. “There are people in the shop. Gonna know what we’re doing.” These words seem to set Lucas into a frenzy. He pushes Eliott back and reaches for the waistband of his sweats, pushing them and his briefs down in one quick movement. And then he’s just… naked… and hard… just a flimsy wooden door away from Bastien. Eliott’s cock <em>throbs. </em></p><p>Lucas’s hands flit about Eliott’s chest, as Eliott moves to open his pants, shoving them down just enough to release his erection. “Want – want you inside,” Lucas stutters.</p><p>“Can’t, baby,” Eliott explains and Lucas whines. “Shhhh,” Eliott hushes, cupping his face and pressing a quick, hard kiss to his lips. “Don’t have lube.”</p><p>“Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care,” Lucas chants, burying his face in Eliott’s neck and he presses their bodies together, grinding his cock into Eliott’s jean clad thigh.</p><p>“I do,” Eliott insists, taking hold of Lucas’s hips and spinning him to face the door. Lucas gasps, hands pressing against the door as though he’s just realized where they are. The wooden panel does block most of their bodies from view. Lucas can’t see over it at all. Eliott, however, can just see over the top towards the front of the shop where Bastien sits chatting with one of the girls, her friend at her side. “That’s right, baby,” Eliott hums. “Gonna fuck you like this… with Bastien just on the other side of that door… knowing what I’m doing to you.”</p><p>“Eli – Eliott,” Lucas keens, reaching back desperately to pull him closer. Eliott grabs his hand, slapping it to the top of the door instead.</p><p>“Hold on, ok? And be quiet,” he warns. “Gonna be fast and hard.”</p><p>Lucas nods frantically, shoving his ass back towards Eliott as he presses his forehead against the door and waits. He’s so… trusting… just waiting for Eliott to take care of him. It’s so fucking good before it’s even started. Eliott doesn’t think he’ll ever get used to that.</p><p>Eliott spits in his hand a couple times, quickly bringing it down to slick up his cock as much as possible before he takes hold of Lucas’s ass cheeks and spreads them apart. Lucas gasps as the cold air hits him, one hand moving down to his erection, where he begins to stroke with a lose grip. Eliott doesn’t waste any time, immediately grinding his cock up into the split of Lucas’s ass.</p><p>“Eli –” Eliott slaps a hand down over Lucas’s mouth.</p><p>“That ok?” He breathes into Lucas’s ear. Lucas nods, the pace of his hand increasing.</p><p>Eliott nods and with a hand firm over Lucas’s mouth and the other wrapping low around Lucas’s waist, he fucks himself in the crack of Lucas’s ass. It’s drier than he would like – it would be spectacular with lube – but it’ll do, it’ll get them there… faster than Eliott even expected judging by the way Lucas has already begun to shake in his arms.</p><p>He buries his face in Lucas’s neck as he increases his tempo, smothering the sound of his own grunts in the heat of Lucas’s skin, and then biting as he feels himself draw closer. He thrusts against Lucas with such force, Lucas stumbles forward slightly, nearly flattening himself to the door as he frantically pulls himself off, matching the pace of Eliott’s cock. Eliott raises his head enough to press his lips to Lucas’s ear.</p><p>“I’m gonna come, baby,” he pants. “Gonna make me come. Can’t help it. So good. You’re so good.” His raised position allows him to see over the door and he looks to where Bastien is bent over the back of one of the girls, and he’s struck by sudden inspiration. “Think he’d fuck you like this?” He whispers, his own balls tightening at the thought. “I think he would.” Lucas’s teeth bite into the palm of his hand, but Eliott doesn’t stop, knows that it’s getting to him. “Think he’d fuck you hard and rough. Looks like he would.” His words have the secondary effect of spurring on his own approaching orgasm and he struggles to get out the rest, knowing Lucas only needs a little push. “I wouldn’t let him. Never let him. Bet he’d want to though.” Eliott drives his cock against Lucas in hard, short jerks. “Bet he’d want to put his cock in you, fuck you ‘til he came, then hand you back to me.” Lucas comes. He bites down viciously on Eliott’s palm and shoots into his own hand, shuddering violently in Eliott’s arms.</p><p>Eliott only lasts a second longer, pulling his hand back the moment Lucas releases the violent grip of his teeth and slapping it to Lucas’s ass instead, spreading his ass cheeks apart as he grips his cock with his other hand and strokes out his orgasm, watching as his come dribbles down to Lucas’s hole, catching there. Eliott grips the head of his cock, pressing it against Lucas as he squeezes out the rest of his orgasm.</p><p>“You can’t push it up into me,” Lucas pants. “You know that, right?”</p><p>Eliott grins, smearing the tip of his cock around Lucas’s hole until he’s satisfied. “Won’t know unless I try.”</p><p>“Idiot,” Lucas laughs lightly, out of breath and satisfied, as he pushes up and away from the door as he turns around. He twists to peer over his shoulder down at his ass before turning back to Eliott with hand outstretched. “Shirt.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes widen as he realizes what Lucas means. “Lucas, no.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs, unapologetic. “What do you expect me to do? We have to walk out of here and you came all over me.”</p><p>“Yeah.” Ok… maybe he’s a little smug about that.</p><p>Lucas snorts, waving his hand in Eliott’s face, the remnants of his own orgasm smeared across it. “And this? What am I supposed to do with –” He cuts off as Eliott’s grabs his hand, watching with wide-eyes as Eliott licks it clean. “Oh – ok,” Lucas stutters, pulling back his hand when Eliott’s done, a renewed flush to his face. “But I’m still not putting my sweats on like this. Shirt.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, bending down to pick up his shirt and hand it over to Lucas, cringing as Lucas goes about wiping himself down. “What am I supposed to do? I’m not putting that back on.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “It’s a nice night. Go shirtless.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him in exasperation. “I can’t just walk out of here shirtless.”</p><p>“Sure you can.” Lucas doesn’t look the least bit concerned, handing back Eliott’s soiled shirt and going about putting back on his own clothes. “Everyone knows what we were doing anyways.”</p><p>It’s true but… warm night or not… Eliott’s just not the type to go walking about shirtless, ok?</p><p>“But… I… I just…”</p><p>“If you’re really uncomfortable with it, just wear mine,” Lucas offers, holding his shirt out for Eliott.</p><p>“Yours?” Eliott asks dumbly.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas nods. “I’ll go shirtless. I don’t mind.” Lucas going shirtless? Lucas just… walking down the streets of Paris looking like <em>that </em>– freshly fucked and shirtless? Nope. No sir. Eliott can deal.</p><p>“That’s ok. I’ll be fine.”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes with a laugh, pulling on his shirt. “You really are predictable.”</p><p>“Am not,” Eliott complains.</p><p>“Un hunh,” Lucas replies unconvinced and unlatches the door, walking out in the shop. Eliott rushes to make sure his pants are secure, rolling up his soiled top and following. There’s a cocky swagger to Lucas’s steps as he makes his way towards where the group at the front of the shop have stopped what they’re doing to watch their approach. And Eliott supposes… if he looked like Lucas… and had a half-dressed, fucked out boyfriend following him… he’s probably be a little cocky about it too.</p><p>“Hey,” Bastien greets, sounding like he’s on the edge of uproarious laughter. “Got done what you needed to?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas responds, waiting for Eliott to catch up to him, “was good. Thanks.”</p><p>“Uh, we’re just gonna…” Eliott half shields his body behind Lucas’s as the girls ogle him with wide-open mouths. He latches hands to Lucas’s hips and steers him towards the door. “We’re gonna go. Thanks for everything.”</p><p>“Sure,” Bastien chuckles. “Anytime.”</p><p>Lucas laughs the moment they’re out the door. “Did you see their faces?!”</p><p>“You’re taking way too much pleasure in this,” Eliott says, though he can’t help but smile at seeing his boyfriend so unbearably smug.</p><p>“Think I took just the right amount of pleasure from the situation actually.” Lucas pokes a finger into Eliott’s side.</p><p>“Mmm,” Eliott hums in agreement. “It <em>was </em>good.”</p><p>“For the record though,” Lucas looks up at him, face a touch more serious, “I don’t actually want to have sex with Bastien.”</p><p>Eliott snorts. “I know.” They walk down the sidewalk in companionable silence for a moment before he clarifies, “We’re still stalking him on Insta tonight though, right?”</p><p>“Oh fuck yes,” Lucas breathes, and they laugh.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
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</p><p>Eliott slams the locker room door open. He didn’t exude that much force, but it hits the wall stop anyhow, making a satisfying, if a little concerning, echoing bang. He quickly checks to see he hasn’t caused any damage to the wall, before more meekly making his way towards his locker. Expressing his frustration and disappointment with himself is one thing, damaging hospital property is another. Lucas is known to be the dramatic one in their relationship after all, Eliott would never want to steal his title.</p><p>He smiles a little at the thought of his boyfriend as he slumps to sit on the bench facing his locker, dropping his face into his hands and resting elbows on his knees. But even thinking of Lucas can’t quite knock him out of his funk. It’s just… been a bad day. No, not day. <em>Surgery</em>. It was a bad surgery. No… that’s not fair either. He huffs in annoyance. It’s not all about him. The surgery was a success. Eliott was the only one who made an ass out of himself.</p><p>He’d gotten the surgery because of Millet – because Millet had spoken so highly of him. Eliott knows that despite his mentor’s protests to the contrary and insistence that Dr. Fournier had asked him into the OR to observe due to his expressed interest in neuro. But Eliott had only expressed that interest to Millet. Well… Millet and Lucas. And Lucas wasn’t talking. Which means Eliott made an ass out of himself in a way that reflected not only on himself, but on Millet. And he can’t even explain why he’d been so off. Yes, he’d been nervous. But in the past Eliott has found ways to thrive under that pressure. Today however he’d been a mess, unable to answer the most basic questions the surgeon had asked of him, and then just to top off his already incompetent demeanor, he’d knocked into the tray of instruments when asked to approach and sent a number tumbling to the surgical floor. The nurses had <em>not </em>been impressed.</p><p>He really can’t believe it. He was given a shot and he… blew it.</p><p>“Hey.”</p><p>Eliott’s jerks his head in the direction of the voice to see that, in fact, his mind isn’t playing tricks on him and Lucas really is standing at the end of the bench.</p><p>“What are you doing here?”</p><p>Lucas smiles, offering a slight shrug. “No fun going home if you’re not there.”</p><p>It’s an extraordinarily sweet sentiment, but Eliott can barely muster up a smile. “Oh.”</p><p>Lucas moves to sit next to him on the bench, resting a warm, comforting hand to his upper back and pressing a kiss to his clothed shoulder. “Let’s go home?” It sounds slightly like a question, a little cautious and uncertain. He must have heard about Eliott’s performance in the surgery. It hadn’t been in the observational OR but gossip never fails to travel fast in the hospital, and with Daphne and Idriss’s network of nurses willing to share all the news… Lucas clearly knows things didn’t go exactly as Eliott had hoped. He was bound to find out – from someone else or from Eliott himself – but it still burns, hot and painful, to know Eliott fucked up in Lucas’s eyes too.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees quietly, standing and moving to his locker. He quickly strips himself of his scrubs, pulling back on the thankfully comfortable clothing he’d chosen to wear that morning – an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt of Lucas’s.</p><p>“Do you want to talk about it?”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t look back at him as he answers, busying himself by throwing his clothing into his bag. “No.” Ridiculously Eliott can feel emotion well up in his throat. Like Lucas simply acknowledging there is something to talk about – that Eliott has reason to be upset – has given him cue to cry, whether he wants to or not.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>Eliott’s shoulders immediately relax, a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding tightly in his chest expelled. Of course Lucas understands. He won’t push or force Eliott to talk unless he chooses too. No one understands the need to move at one’s pace better than Lucas, and no one respects Eliott’s wishes and ability to make his own choices, quite like Lucas. Eliott knows this and yet he still finds himself blown away by just how lucky he is to have Lucas as his partner in life.</p><p>He manages to muster up a slight but genuine smile as he turns to Lucas. “Home.”</p><p>Lucas returns his smile, his own is warm and gentle. “Home,” he agrees, standing and reaching to take Eliott’s bag from him, slinging it over his own shoulder. He stretches a hand behind him as he begins leading the way out of the locker room. It seems almost subconscious, a natural and instinctual request for Eliott to hold his hand, which Eliott gladly does. Two quick strides to catch up to Lucas and he reaches to connect their hands, Lucas’s firm and warm. The security of his touch immediately seeps into Eliott, calming the pace of his heart.</p><p>Eliott forgets sometimes just how formidable Lucas can be – can seem – demonstrated now as he strides through the hospital halls with purpose, pulling Eliott close to his side, an aura of ‘leave us alone’ radiating off him in waves. Because he’s still Lucas – the Lucas who whines he’s cold even on the warmest nights to ensure Eliott will cuddle him, the Lucas who always makes time for the children in the cancer ward no matter how exhausted he may be. But he’s this too, powerful and protective and ten-feet-tall… if only in the stature of his confidence. And he’s strong, so strong, right when Eliott really needs him to be.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, glancing over at him with a curious smile. Eliott hadn’t realized he was staring.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head with a smile of his own. “You’re just… tall.”</p><p>Lucas’s forehead wrinkles, eyes narrowing in suspicion. “Are you fucking with me?”</p><p>The blunt question draws an involuntary laugh from Eliott. “No.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look any more convinced. “What then?” He turns to face Eliott fully as they enter the empty elevator. He doesn’t release Eliott’s hand, squeezing it gently in inquiry instead.</p><p>Eliott’s eyes skip across Lucas’s face, across the slope of his cheekbones to the pillow of his lower lip, from the tip of his button nose to where a wrinkle appears between his eyebrows, to the blue, blue of his eyes. “I just… think you’re the tallest person I know.” It’s not exactly an answer, and certainly not a statement that will provide any real insight into what Eliott meant, but it makes Lucas smile. Smile and roll his eyes that is. Because of course everything he does he has to do with a bit of attitude. Eliott loves that about him.</p><p>“Can’t wait to tell Idriss,” Lucas grins as the elevator doors open. “He’s been gettin’ way too cocky lately.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles lightly as he follows Lucas into the main entrance of the hospital. “Being in love will have that effect.” He says the words with just the right amount of cheek, expecting to be met with equal sass. Instead when Lucas turns to look back over his shoulder, there’s a sweet, painfully sincere look in his eyes.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>The metro ride home is quiet. Lucas generally has a habit of getting <em>more </em>chatty when Eliott is noticeably quiet, but just this once he seems to be tuned into Eliott’s need to get lost in his own thoughts. Though, <em>wallow</em> in his own thoughts is probably a more accurate descriptor. Whatever the case, Lucas allows Eliott his silence.</p><p>Dinner is much the same. Lucas shoos Eliott from the kitchen when he attempts to help, insisting that he’s too hungry to deal with what he called ‘Eliott’s kitchen shenanigans’. It’s clear what he’s doing though. Clear in the way he serves Eliott dinner himself, clear in the way he tucks them both under blankets on the couch, clear in the way he puts on one of Eliott’s favourite romance movies even though Lucas has always insisted it’s <em>‘cheesier than a plate of Yann’s nachos’. </em>He’s taking care of Eliott – taking care of him in the best way he knows how: With quiet action.</p><p>Eliott finds his gaze drifting to rest on Lucas, tucked deep under the blanket, a grumpy tilt to his mouth as he no doubt represses the urge to keep up a stream of disparaging comments about the movie. There’s no way he could possibly know exactly how cute he is. And Eliott just wants to give him the world… or at least a world where they both achieve everything they want, where they build a successful life together and support one another in all the ways they both deserve. It’s stupid to doubt that he could provide such a thing simply because he had a bad day, one bad surgery, but… he can’t help the way his brain whispers to him in darker moments… that he’ll never be enough, that Lucas is catapulting to a life of such extraordinary success and Eliott can barely keep up, that Lucas knows what he wants and how to achieve it, and Eliott can’t even manage not to screw up when opportunity is laid directly at his feet. He knows what Lucas would say to that, and Eliott knows he would be right. He’s a good doctor. They both will be great surgeons. That Eliott cares <em>so much</em>. That the compassion he shows patients, the <em>way </em>he cares, is far more important than the surgical achievements themselves, but that he can have both, and he <em>will</em>. And Eliott knows Lucas would mean it. That even though Lucas’s own approach to medicine differs in many ways – and Lucas loves to give him shit in that respect – he admires Eliott. Lucas is proud of him. Eliott just hates that his brain is currently insisting it’s undeserved, hates that he can’t seem to snap out of it.</p><p>“Hey,” he whispers, waiting for Lucas’s head to turn and eyes to catch his, “let’s go to bed.”</p><p>A wrinkle appears between Lucas’s eyebrows and he glances quickly at the film still playing before looking back to Eliott. “You don’t want to watch the rest?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, trying to muster up a smile, though he’s sure it falls short. “I just want to sleep.” It’s not entirely true. He doubts his brain will allow him to fall into a peaceful repose without going over everything single regret from the day at least one hundred times, but he longs for the dark and the quiet, where his silence won’t be seen as a reflection of his miserable state. </p><p>Lucas doesn’t argue, silently turning off the film and reaching for Eliott as he stands. Eliott pauses for a moment, looking up to where Lucas’s hand is stretched waiting for him before he takes it. Rather than get up however, he pulls Lucas closer, close enough for Eliott to tip forward until his forehead rests against Lucas’s stomach, his hands moving to grip Lucas’s hips. He exhales deeply, comforted by the heat of his boyfriend's body even through the cotton of his sweatshirt. But it’s not enough. Eliott moves a hand to push the material up until the soft skin of Lucas’s lower belly is revealed. He presses his lips there. It’s not sexual – not in this context – and Lucas seems to understand that, petting at Eliott’s hair gently as he lets him have his way. Eliott smooths a thumb across the skin, pressing it into the soft swell found just beneath well defined abs before he takes Lucas’s hand back and allows himself to be pulled from the couch.</p><p>They get ready for bed in comfortable silence, Lucas slipping under the covers before him. And oddly, it’s as Eliott flicks off the lights and tucks himself under the blankets, hands curled beneath a pillow as he faces Lucas, that he finds it’s not silence he wants.</p><p>“Lucas?”</p><p>Eliott can only see Lucas’s face dimly in the shadows of their bedroom, but his eyes shine where they rest on Eliott’s face.</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Do you ever wish things were different?”</p><p>Silence hangs in the air for a moment before Lucas answers. “No. Do you?”</p><p>“Sometimes,” Eliott admits.</p><p>“Like…” There’s a waver in Lucas’s voice. “Like how?”</p><p>Eliott knows exactly how badly Lucas could misinterpret what he means, but he doesn’t have the emotional reserve to reassure him. “Me. Sometimes I wish I… just… me.” Eliott tightens his hands beneath the pillow, pulling it more closely to his face.</p><p>“Because…” Lucas pauses as though considering his words before he speaks again. “Because of today? The surgery?”</p><p>Eliott swallows heavily, his voice more raw and broken than it should be considering how relatively benign this current crisis. “I messed up.” It’s all he offers. All he can manage to say. And Eliott is half expecting the well-meaning reaction he would have received from his parents, from his friends – the quick assurances that he’s wrong, that it wasn’t a big deal, that he’s worried over nothing, that he’s overthinking it. Lucas offers no such platitudes.</p><p>“I don’t want anything different,” he says instead, quiet and sincere. “I don’t want you to be any different.”</p><p>“Even when I screw up?”</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas responds immediately. “I want you just like this. Especially like this.” His hand moves from the blanket to Eliott’s head, fingers dragging back through his hair. There’s wry humour in his voice as he adds, “Can’t be the only screw up in this relationship.”</p><p>Eliott exhales a breath of amusement, nuzzling against Lucas’s thumb where it brushes the side of his forehead. “You never screw up.”</p><p>“I fuck up all the time,” Lucas disagrees. “You just think I’m brilliant.”</p><p>Eliott’s laugh comes out a little more sincere now. “I think you’re ok.”</p><p>Lucas’s thumb glides down across Eliott’s cheekbone. “It’s ok to screw up, Eli. We’re going to. We’ll get through it. Both of us. Together.”</p><p>Eliott’s blinks lengthen, the weight and comfort of Lucas’s words blanketing him in warmth. He doesn’t need anything else, except… “Lucas?”</p><p>“Mmm?” Lucas hums in inquiry.</p><p>Eliott’s mouth twitches at the corners and he wonders if Lucas can see it. “You don’t have to cuddle me or anything.”</p><p>There’s an extended moment of silence before Lucas snorts with humour, tugging gently at Eliott’s hair. “Shut up and turn around.”</p><p>Eliott’s smile stretches across his face as he turns to do as told, waiting until he feels the heat of Lucas’s chest against his back to relax, sinking into the mattress and Lucas’s arms with a happy sigh.</p><p>Lucas wraps arms around his waist, pressing a soft kiss to Eliott’s shoulder blade before he speaks, voice growing rough with encroaching sleep. “Eliott… I think you’re brilliant too.”</p><p>Eliott lets the words seep into his bones, lets them replace the doubt eating at the marrow. “I love you.”</p><p>Lucas’s lips brush back and forth against his skin, his fingers stroking gently at Eliott’s stomach. “I think you’re ok.”</p><p>The brat. </p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  <strong>(1 Year Later)</strong>
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</p><p>It’s uncomfortably hot. They’ve been searching the streets of Tokyo for far too long already, and Lucas knows Eliott is about at his wits end, but they’re leaving the city tomorrow to head to Kyoto, and if Lucas doesn’t find this shop, Arthur will never forgive him. And, well… maybe Lucas wants to find it too.</p><p>“I swear it should be here,” Lucas insists, staring back down at the map on his phone.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott sighs, sounding exhausted and very, very done, “is it really that important?”</p><p>Lucas’s shoulders droop as he stares down the busy street with no comic book store in sight. “No,” he admits, darkening the screen of his phone and slipping it back into his pocket. “It’s not, I guess. Sorry. I shouldn’t have dragged us around looking for it for so long. Let’s just go get some food.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him for a moment longer before he’s suddenly reaching for Lucas’s hand, and swinging around to drag him down the sidewalk. “Come on.”</p><p>“Where are we going?” Lucas asks, trying desperately not to break out into a jog to keep up with Eliott’s stupidly long giraffe legs.</p><p>“We’re going to ask someone.”</p><p>“I already tried that, Eliott, remember?” It was what led them to the current street they’re on… just as lost as they were a couple hours ago.</p><p>“We’re trying again.”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas huffs, charmed despite himself, “it doesn’t matter.”</p><p>“Yes, it does,” Eliott disagrees. “It matters to you.” A flurry of butterflies take flight in Lucas’s chest. He doesn’t understand how Eliott can still get to him like that – like he’s standing outside that bar, seeing Eliott for the first time all over again.</p><p>“Excuse me,” Eliott stops a stylish looking girl walking in the opposite direction on the sidewalk. “Doka – ka – um… - Doko ka wakar…” His forehead scrunches as he tries to recall the word, eventually settling on the name of the store with a wide, apologetic smile. It’s fucking adorable that he keeps trying despite struggling with the language a lot more than Lucas. The girl clearly thinks so as well, looking charmed by his efforts.</p><p>“It’s ok, I understand,” she says, giggling a little as she looks between them both. She directs them to a small side alleyway off the main street – they never would have found it on their own. Eliott thanks her profusely.</p><p>“Doumo arigatou goz – gozaimasu,” he stumbles.</p><p>She laughs, nodding to them both before she continues on her way.</p><p>“You really are a charmer,” Lucas laughs.</p><p>Eliott grins brightly, pulling him closer with a finger hooked to Lucas’s belt loop. “Think so?” He’s such a sexy, smug…</p><p>“Asshole.” Lucas pushes him back with his free hand, tugging him along the sidewalk with their linked hands. “Now let’s find this damn place.”</p><p>“How come you want to so badly?” Eliott asks, swinging their arms together with that boyish look on his face that makes Lucas equal parts want to squee and do unspeakable things to him.</p><p>“I promised Arthur I would,” he explains – though this is something Eliott already knows and likely realizes is not the full reason.</p><p>“Un hunh.” Yep. That’s his ‘you’re full of shit’ voice.</p><p>Lucas glances at him out of the corner of his eye as they turn the corner down the alley – which as it happens is more like a miniature version of the street, just as bustling with people and eclectic shops. “And I heard manga is pretty cool… like… the pictures and stuff.”</p><p>“Manga is cool,” Eliott agrees. “But is this gonna be like the comic books you <em>stole </em>from me?”</p><p>“I didn’t steal those,” Lucas denies. “They’re just on my side of the bed. And what would manga have to do with those?”</p><p>“Right, just on your side of the bed and doggy-eared to all the pages with Gambit looking hot.”</p><p>Unable to deny that particular accusation, Lucas reroutes the conversation back to his initial point. “You’re afraid I’ll steal whatever manga you get?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott laughs. “We both know you’re gonna do that. I’m wondering if the reason you’re so eager to seek it out has anything to do with the fact that it can get a bit hardcore. I know what comic books are to you. They’re your porn.”</p><p>“I was a kid then.”</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow. “Are you saying I’m wrong?”</p><p>It’s really annoying how well he knows Lucas sometimes. “Ok… maybe… Arthur said… some of the comics are pretty hot.” Eliott cackles. “I’m just curious!” Lucas defends.</p><p>“Curious enough to drag me around the city for two hours to find this exact shop.”</p><p>“It’s supposed to be the best.”</p><p>Eliott grins and nods to the store coming up on their right. “Good thing we found it then.”</p><p>Lucas gasps. “Finally!” He drags Eliott excitedly to the shop, sighing happily as they enter the airconditioned space. It’s not as large a shop as Lucas was expecting considering its reputation but it’s lined wall to wall with shelves filled with comic books. It reminds him strongly of those independent bookstores you just know are going to be amazing when you walk in the door and are overwhelmed by the sheer depth of books, the culmination of someone’s lifelong passion.</p><p>“Konnichiwa,” the shopkeeper greets, a friendly looking guy about their age.</p><p>“Konnichiwa,” they both greet in return.</p><p>“May I help you find something?” He immediately switches from Japanese, and Lucas takes a moment to admire the ease with which he does so.</p><p>“My boyfriend,” Eliott begins, and Lucas seriously considers slapping a hand over his mouth to prevent anything embarrassing from being said, “is interested in manga and we don’t quite know where to start.” Oh… ok. Not embarrassing. “And if there are some hot guys in there, he’d be cool with that too.” God, Lucas hates him.</p><p>The shopkeeper laughs, nodding and leading them to a corner of the store where he gives them a rundown of all things manga. His enthusiasm overwhelms his words and Lucas struggles to follow along, glomming onto his enthusiasm about particular stories versus the words themselves. At some point Eliott leaves them, wandering off to a different area of the store while Lucas continues in his perusal.</p><p>There’s a lot less choosing involved than nodding along as the shopkeeper shoves editions of what Lucas understands are some of the most popular choices into his hands – he catches a few tiles… Beserk and Attack of the Titans (that one he recognized!) as he nods along. He tacks on a more random assortment for Arthur and grabs a few editions of Otoyomegatari for Eliott. Not only is the art in the story beautiful but it’s apparently a historical romance… and if there is one thing Lucas is absolutely sure about, it’s that Eliott is a stupidly cheesy romantic at heart. The cornball in question comes bounding up behind him at that precise moment with his own bag in hand.</p><p>“Look what I got you!” He’s pulling a small framed image from the bag and handing it to Lucas. Lucas turns it around to see it’s… Gambit. A really cool illustration of him in fact. “It’s a limited-edition print,” Eliott explains.</p><p>“It’s awesome,” Lucas enthuses, looking up at him with a grin. “Thank you.”</p><p>Eliott nods, moving to Lucas’s side and leaning over his shoulder as they both look at the print. “Looks like me here, don’t you think?”</p><p>“Oh my god,” Lucas groans, shoving an elbow back into Eliott’s stomach.</p><p>“What?” Eliott laughs. “I’m just saying.”</p><p>“That’s not why I was into him,” Lucas complains. “It was just a coincidence.”</p><p>“Sure.”</p><p>“Don’t be a cocky dick.” It’s so fucking sexy when he is. It’s really unfair.</p><p>“Impossible,” Eliott grins. “Also sort of redundant.”</p><p>Lucas scowls. “You’re my least favourite person.”</p><p>“I’m your favourite person.” He’s got him there.</p><p>“Asshole.”</p><p>“Brat.”</p><p>A stalemate. Lucas considers him for a moment with eyes narrowed.</p><p>“Let’s go get some food.”</p><p>Eliott smiles brightly. He knows he won. “Ok.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott has been weird all fucking day and Lucas is getting sick of it. He won’t say what’s wrong, but anxiety is rolling off him and it’s starting to get to Lucas too. That plus the fact that it’s raining on their first full day in Kyoto, and Lucas’s mood has considerably soured.</p><p>“What about if we just go back to the hotel to chill for a bit?” Lucas suggests.</p><p>“No!” Eliott nearly yells, before he seems to realize the ridiculous volume of his voice and adjusts, looking apologetically at the eyes he’s caught on the sidewalk as they wait for their ride. “I mean, no. We’re going. I planned this forever ago.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t see what the big deal is. They’re just going to see the gardens at the Ginkaku-ji Temple. And it’s not like it’s a particularly nice day to do so. There’s no tour booked, or money lost if they go tomorrow.</p><p>“Why don’t we just –”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott cuts him off harshly. “No. It’s the plan for today.”</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas huffs, looking away. There’s a moment of no one speaking when suddenly Eliott’s arm is wrapping around Lucas’s shoulders, pulling him close.</p><p>“I’m sorry,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the side of Lucas’s forehead. “I’m being a dick.”</p><p>“Yes,” Lucas agrees, but melts into Eliott’s side, relieved by the familiar affection.</p><p>“I just really want to see this place today. I know it’s silly, but is that ok?”</p><p>Lucas twists his upper body to wrap both arms around Eliott’s waist in a sideways hug. “It’s ok. Just stop being a dick when I’m trying to help.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles. “Ok.”</p><p>Their car pulls up in front of them and they hop in. It’s a short drive from the city center and Lucas has to say he grows more excited the closer they get. He’s been so distracted by Eliott’s strange mood from the moment they woke up, he hasn’t given a lot of thought to Kyoto itself and all the exciting things they would get to see.</p><p>The temple is nearly empty of tourists, only a few milling about the grounds. An unintended benefit to the less than ideal weather, it would seem. Something Lucas tells Eliott and is offered a gentle smile and nod in return.</p><p>
  
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</p><p>They spend some time exploring the grounds before making their way back up to the main temple. Lucas does most of the talking, Eliott remaining oddly quiet. It doesn’t bother Lucas. It’s a contemplative sort of place he supposes. He should probably shut up and let Eliott enjoy the peace and quiet, but he can’t help the way he keeps a running dialogue the whole time, commenting on everything he sees. It’s an extraordinarily beautiful place and it’s really hitting Lucas that he’s here. It’s incredible. It’s exciting. And when Lucas is excited… he talks.</p><p>“I just think it must be hell to take care of the whole place,” he finishes saying. “Unless the groundskeepers see it as some type of calling, you know? Maybe they do. It’s a sacred place after all. I dunno. I’m fine with our little Mer. She’s enough for me to keep alive. A place like this is too much pressure.”</p><p>Eliott hums.</p><p>“We’re really here, hunh?” Lucas comments, looking out towards the temple and pond in the distance. “Isn’t that crazy?”</p><p>Eliott smiles. “Yeah. It is.”</p><p>“My mom would have loved this.”</p><p>“You think so?”</p><p>Lucas nods, looking back at Eliott with a smile. “Yeah. She loved gardens. Seeing the temple gardens of Japan was what she wanted to do most.” Lucas has told him this plenty of times before but Eliott nods anyways, looking attentive and understanding.</p><p>“I’m sure she’s with you here,” he says, reaching to take Lucas’s hand. “And she knows you’re here for her.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees, feeling abruptly misty eyed.</p><p>Eliott makes a small sound of surprise, suddenly tugging Lucas’s hand. “There it is.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks, following along nonetheless as Eliott pulls him towards the far side of the pond.</p><p>“You’ll see,” Eliott says, showing far more enthusiasm than he has since arriving at the temple. He hurries them along until they’re standing just to the side of the pond. It’s not the best view of the temple… nor the best view of the gardens or pond. Lucas looks to him in confusion.</p><p>“It’s… nice?”</p><p>“No,” Eliott laughs. “Look. See.” He points to an area just out of sight behind a bush and towards flowers Lucas hadn’t noticed decorating the surface of the edge of the pond. They’re standing oddly far back from the spot and Lucas drops Eliott’s hand to step closer. They’re beautiful. They’re…</p><p>“My tattoo,” Lucas gasps. “They’re like the ones in my tattoo.” He glances back to Eliott who smiles and nods, looking pleased that Lucas has finally caught on. Lucas looks back to the flowers, stepping closer still and leaning down to inspect them. Lotus flowers. Lucas hasn’t thought about the meaning behind the flower since he sat with his mom in the hospital room deciding on their shared tattoo so many years ago. <em>They bloom from the murkiest of waters, beauty even in the depth of mud</em>, she’d said. “My mom’s favourite,” he whispers, smiling. “It is like she’s here.” He closes his eyes, inhaling deeply and bringing her face to his mind’s eye – her gentle eyes, her kind smile, the way she laughed. <em>I love you, mom.</em> And he’s suddenly so incredibly thankful Eliott insisted on coming – on bringing Lucas here. Lucas has never felt more fulfilled, happier or more at peace. “Thank you,” he whispers before saying it louder as he turns back to Eliott. “Thank you for bringing me here, I – <em>WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING?!” </em></p><p>Eliott pauses in the middle of bending to one knee, glancing up at Lucas with a cheeky smile. “Getting down on one knee. May I proceed?”</p><p>Is he…? Is this happening? Is this what’s happening?! Lucas’s brain is a blur of static and noise, whirling thoughts and wailing emotions, until it’s not. Until his eyes lock with Eliott’s and the noise dissipates, and the emotions become one. Love. He loves Eliott so fucking much.</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“Ok,” Eliott agrees, his smile widening into something near blinding with the happiness it radiates. He settles onto one knee and extends a hand while Lucas stares at him blankly. “Lucas, give me your hand for fucks sake.”</p><p>“Oh, sorry. Sorry!” Lucas rushes to offer his hand, slapping it down into Eliott’s as his heart jackhammers in his chest.</p><p>Eliott’s laughing a little now, stroking Lucas’s hand in a much gentler manner than it was given. “You’re… you’re so ridiculous.” He says this as though it were the highest of compliments. “I’ve never known someone to be a bigger brat. I used to say you were the bane of my existence – the biggest pain in my ass –”</p><p>“Aren’t you supposed to be saying nice things about me right now?” Lucas frowns.</p><p>“I am,” Eliott says with another laugh. “I didn’t know I could love everything about a person the way I do you.” Lucas’s breath catches. “I love what a brat you are,” Eliott continues. “I love when you’re grumpy and pout until I bring you disgusting, sugary cereal in bed. I even love when you spill on the sheets.” Emotion wells up in Lucas’s chest and he does his best to breath through it, to listen to the words Eliott speaks. “I love when you’re upset at work and you don’t want to show it – but you’ll show it to me. I love the way you trust me. I’ll never take it for granted, Lucas. Never.” His eyes shine with unshed tears and Lucas can’t help the way his own well up in response. “You’re the best person I’ve ever known. The most loving. The most generous. The most kind. Every day I wake up and I can’t believe you chose to love me.”</p><p>“Eliott –” Lucas’s voice cracks when he tries to speak and a tear tumbles down onto his cheek.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, indicating for Lucas to allow him to continue. “I’ve never loved someone the way I love you. I never will.” Tears make their way to Eliott’s cheeks and his voice shakes. “I want to spend the rest of my life showing you how thankful I am – to – to be with you – to be loved by you.”</p><p>“Eliott.” Lucas drops to his knees in front of him, hands immediately moving to cup Eliott’s face.</p><p>“No,” Eliott gasps. “You’re supposed to stand.”</p><p>“I don’t care,” Lucas laughs through his tears, wiping at the tears on Eliott’s cheeks.</p><p>“Stubborn,” Eliott huffs, tipping their foreheads together.</p><p>“Brat,” Lucas offers with a shrug, as though to say, ‘You know what you’re signing up for’.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott whispers, separating their faces and allowing their eyes to connect, “will you marry me?”</p><p>Lucas’s face splits into a smile and he can barely see through his tears. “Yes. Yes, I’ll marry you.” He can’t wait anymore, pulling Eliott’s face towards him and mashing their lips together. It’s one of the messiest, least coordinated kisses they’ve ever shared. They bump noses more than once and the way Eliott keeps laughing prevents Lucas from deepening it the way he wants to. And yet, it’s one of the best kisses Lucas can ever remember. It’s perfect. It’s with Eliott.</p><p>“I love you, I love you, I love you,” Eliott mumbles against his lips.</p><p>“Love you too,” Lucas laughs as Eliott’s lips smear across his cheek.</p><p>Eliott pulls back, cupping Lucas’s face with warm hands and smiling with such pure joy, Lucas doesn’t think he’s ever seen a more beautiful sight. “You said yes.”</p><p>“I did,” Lucas agrees, sure that his smile is just as ridiculous.</p><p>“Thank god,” Eliott huffs. “My knee is killing me.”</p><p>“Eliott!” Lucas snorts. “Way to ruin the moment.” </p><p>“I didn’t.” He groans as they both push to a stand and stretches out his knee. “Ruining it would have been puking all over you.”</p><p>Lucas cringes. “Why would you have puked all over me?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Thought I was going to ralph on you all day to be honest. Don’t think I’ve ever been so nervous in my life.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes widen. “This is why you were being such a dickhead?! Because you were nervous?!!”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “You shouldn’t call me a dickhead right after I proposed. Not very romantic.”</p><p>“You idiot,” Lucas laughs, wrapping his arms around Eliott’s neck and drawing him back down into a much more coordinated kiss that sends a fission of electricity rushing across his skin. “Holy shit,” Lucas says as he pulls back from Eliott’s mouth. “Do you know what this means?!”</p><p>“That we’re engaged?”</p><p>“No!” Lucas scoffs. “Or… well, yeah. But no… we get to have just engaged sex, Eliott!”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I don’t think sex is something we should be talking about while on temple grounds.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t pause, grabbing Eliott’s hand and dragging him along as he marches towards the main gate, nearly breaking into a run as Eliott laughs behind him but follows without argument. The moment they reach the exterior street, Lucas swings back to face him with a grin.</p><p>“Are you serious right now?” Eliott laughs, moving his arms to balance atop Lucas’s shoulders as they face one another. “You’re ridiculous.”</p><p>“Motivated,” Lucas disagrees with a wiggle of his eyebrow. “<em>Just engaged</em> sex, Eliott.”</p><p>“Why do you say that like you have experience on the matter?” Eliott asks with a grin.  </p><p>Lucas can’t help but take the opportunity to be a little shit, raising an eyebrow. “Well…”</p><p>Eliott smile drops. “What?”</p><p>Lucas breaks immediately with a laugh, shoving at Eliott’s chest. “I’m joking, baby. You’re the first and only, ok?”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes darken and he pulls Lucas close, hand moving down to splay across his ass. It has the immediate effect of robbing Lucas of breath and sending his heart into a tempo that would suggest he was doing a lot more than standing still. Maybe Eliott had a point about not doing this on temple grounds. “I like it when you call me that.”</p><p>“What?” Lucas replies, embarrassingly breathless, but he can’t find it in himself to care.</p><p>“Baby,” Eliott whispers, hands moving and kneading against the flesh of his ass now, and Lucas has a moment of being blessedly thankful for the terrible weather preventing them from traumatizing hordes of other tourists with their behaviour. “I like the way it sounds when you say it.”</p><p>“I –” Has Lucas been this out of breath the whole time? “I like it too – when you – I like it when you say it.”</p><p>“I know,” Eliott hums, running a finger against the material covering Lucas’s ass crack. Lucas’s heart might beat right out of his chest. Barely engaged five minutes and his heart is ready to give out. “Always makes you come, doesn’t it? When I’m inside you? Baby. My baby.”</p><p>“Eliott, Eliott.” Lucas frantically pats at Eliott’s chest. “Hotel. We need – I need – hotel. Now.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a low chuckle that has all the hairs on Lucas’s body standing on end. “Just engaged sex is sounding pretty good right now.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott brushes the hair back from Lucas’s forehead with a gentle hand, careful not to wake his sleeping boyfriend – no, <em>fiancé. </em>They’re engaged. Eliott still can’t believe it. Lucas is his fiancé. Future husband. Lucas Lallemant. Eliott just… can’t believe this is real life.</p><p>And damn if Lucas hadn’t been right about the just engaged sex. It’s been at least twenty minutes since Lucas slipped off into a sleep of the thoroughly well fucked and Eliott’s heartbeat is still pounding in his ears. Worth it though. Even if Eliott did truly wonder a couple times if he might actually be having a heart attack, and his dick is most definitely going to need a day to recover. His eyes slide across Lucas’s face, traveling down his chest to where the sheet pools low on the curve of his hip. Ok… maybe just the night. Point being… his dick did good and deserves a break.</p><p>“You didn’t give me a ring.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes fly back up to Lucas’s face. He huffs when he sees Lucas’s eyes open just a slit. “You’re supposed to be asleep.”</p><p>Lucas blinks them open, staring at Eliott with bleary, sleep-filled eyes. “A ring,” he repeats. “You didn’t give me one.”</p><p>Eliott snickers, folding his hands beneath his head on the pillow as he grins at Lucas. “I heard you the first time.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows pull together in a frown and he curls his hands beneath his chin, looking pouty and more adorable than he has any right to look when all Eliott’s dick is prepared for is a proper sleep. “Aren’t we supposed to have rings?”</p><p>“I think that’s up to us. I’d like to,” Eliott admits. “Would you?”</p><p>Lucas considers this for a moment before he nods. “Yeah.”</p><p>“Ok.”</p><p>“Then why didn’t you?” Lucas asks, voice tentative and sweet.</p><p>Eliott smiles, feeling a little tentative himself now. “I had an idea. For rings. I’m not sure if you’ll want it too though.”</p><p>Lucas looks a little more alert now, staring at Eliott curiously. “What?”</p><p>“Um…” Eliott takes a steadying breath. He knows Lucas. Eliott knows this is an idea Lucas is likely to love just as much. But… it’s different than a ring you can slip on and off. “Well, I was thinking we could do rings,” Eliott explains, “but maybe a little more permanent.” To illustrate what he means he reaches out to run a finger along Lucas’s bicep. The heartbeat tattoo – Eliott’s heartbeat – is hidden on the underside of Lucas’s arm and remains out of sight, but he hopes the suggestion will be clear enough.</p><p>Lucas looks confused for a moment before his eyes widen. “You want to get tattoos? Of the rings?”</p><p>“Yeah.” Eliott licks his lips nervously. “If you do.”</p><p>Lucas’s face splits into a grin and he’s shuffling forward on the bed to press a quick kiss to Eliott’s lips. “Ok.”</p><p>“Really?”</p><p>Lucas’s smile hasn’t diminished in the least. “Yeah. I love that idea.”</p><p>Eliott let’s his smile return, and he’s just… he’s so fucking in love he wants to shout it at the top of his lungs, to kiss it into Lucas’s body over and over again, to tell everyone they know – everyone they don’t. He wants the world to know.</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Lucas giggles as though Eliott’s just said something silly. “Were you really worried I wouldn’t want to?”</p><p>Eliott shrugs. “Not really. But… it’s a lot more permanent than rings.”</p><p>“And what were these?” Lucas asks, lifting his arm to tap at the tattoo hidden on the underside.</p><p>“I know,” Eliott agrees. “This will be on your hand though. It won’t be something you can hide when you want.”</p><p>“I don’t want to,” Lucas answers immediately. He reaches for Eliott’s hand, placing it on the mattress between them and lightly brushing his fingertips along Eliott’s ring finger. When he looks back up his eyes are filled with keen honesty. “I want it where everyone can see. We–” His voice falters, caught on emotion and he tries again. “We belong to one another, right?”</p><p>His sweet, beautiful Lucas. So painfully sincere – achingly romantic, in the moments Eliott is least prepared to deal with the way it will affect his heart. “Yes,” Eliott whispers, “we do.”</p><p>“Ok.” Lucas smiles, sweet and a little shy, and moves to press himself against Eliott’s chest, tucking his head beneath Eliott’s chin. “We’ll get it done here.”</p><p>“Here?” Eliott responds, a little surprised, moving arms to wrap around his back.</p><p>“Yeah. Something to remember from Japan.”</p><p>Eliott presses a kiss to the top of Lucas’s head. “Think our friends will kill us?”</p><p>“We’ll do the whole wedding thing with them,” Lucas responds primly. “The rings are just for us. Here. Now.” Eliott knows what he really means. The rings – the commitment, the promise – is theirs and theirs alone.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, brushing his hand up and down Lucas’s arm, fingers tracing the lines of his tattoo. “It’s just for us.” They lay, still and silent in one another’s arms for a time until Lucas speaks, gentle words found on the cusp of sleep.</p><p>“What colour is it now? My tattoo.”</p><p>Eliott smiles, fingertips finding the petals of a flower and painting its shape. “Sapphire. It’s sapphire blue.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>And that's that! I hope you all loved the final ending! Writing this story and interacting with all of you has truly been a pleasure. I thank each and every one of you for all your support, your comments and questions, and your constant encouragement. It wouldn't have been nearly as much fun without you (and let's be real... you guys are probably the only reason I kept writing stories after my first!). Love youuuuu thank youuuuu!!!</p><p>A few notes about this chapter: </p><p>- The images I use of Eliott and Lucas in Japan are not pictures that are actually in Japan. No offence is intended in this respect. I used images Maxence and Axel provided of their travels in east Asia, or simply images I felt could believably be Japan.<br/>- Moreau's fall from grace is based on a number of instances when such things (forging of credentials) has in fact happened with surgeons/ doctors<br/>- I hope the changing POV wasn't too confusing. I wanted it to be a surprise and to do it in a bit more of a unique way than outright stating who's mind you were seeing the world through. I hope it worked! </p><p>My tumblr: surrealsunday</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Bonus Snippets</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to anyone celebrating! Enjoy these little snippets from our Mood Tattoo babies. It takes place just a few months after they’ve moved in together, but before they go away to Japan and get engaged. I had a lot of fun writing these two snippets (ok... not-so-snippets considering their length) and I hope you'll love revisiting this version of Elu.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>A Christmas Eve...</strong>
</p><p>“Eli, it’s freezing.”</p><p>Eliott turns back to look at Lucas. From how his boyfriend is bundled up, scarf wrapped around his head in a way that allows only his eyes to be visible above it, one would think Eliott had dragged him out in the middle of a Russian winter. The temperatures have dipped below zero, but it’s hardly as cold as Lucas would lead someone to believe. Eliott’s just thankful the scarf is blocking the pout he knows lies beneath it. It’s impossible to resist Lucas when he pouts. As it is, he’s doing a pretty impressive job of conveying that pout with wide-eyed, watery eyes. But Eliott is determined enough to resist him… for now.</p><p>“Baby,” he begins, delighted by the way Lucas immediately huffs, “it’s not that much further. But if you want to turn back now, we can.” He knows exactly what he’s doing, and maybe it’s a little unfair. He knows Lucas won’t ask to turn back when Eliott is excited to go, but offering the option still feels like the right thing to do.</p><p>Lucas doesn’t answer. Making a small sound beneath his scarf – definitely a harumph – he grabs Eliott’s gloved hand in his own and continues walking. “Tell me about this thing again. ‘Cause if we wanted to watch a movie, we could have done it at home, under a blanket, with hot chocolate and blowjobs.”</p><p>Eliott chokes on a laugh. “God, I love your idea of a night in.” Lucas glances over at him, a smile clear in the crinkles beside his eyes. “And it’s not a movie. It’s a sound and light installation,” Eliott continues. “Remember that patient a week or so back who had the meniscectomy? She told me about this. She knows someone involved with the set up. Laura.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “The one who wanted to bone you.”</p><p>Eliott snorts immediately. “She did not want to bone me.”</p><p>“She definitely wanted to bone you.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, too charmed to be annoyed by Lucas’s stubborn belief that everyone Eliott meets wants to sleep with him. It’s hard to be mad about it when it really just comes down to Lucas’s belief that anyone who <em>doesn’t </em>want to sleep with Eliott must be a moron. “She was at least ten years older than me.”</p><p>“Yeah. And she wanted to get herself a piece of that.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, unable to help himself from stopping and reaching for Lucas, pulling him closer by his coat. “Get herself a piece of that?” He teases. “A piece of me? What piece exactly?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes. His scarf has slipped down slightly to reveal the tip of his nose and his cheeks, both rosy pink from the cold. Eliott moves his hands up to cup his face, brushing thumbs against the flush of his cheeks.</p><p>“Don’t know why she’d want to,” Lucas grumps. A piece of his hair falls down, catching in his eyelashes and Eliott moves a hand up to brush it back, tangling his fingers in the strands. “Pain in my ass, you are,” Lucas continues with a huff, “dragging me around in the cold when we have to be up to work a full shift tomorrow and it’s Christmas, so you know it’s gonna be extra hellish and –” Eliott cuts him off with a kiss, pressing their cold lips together in what was meant to be a soft and gentle peck, but turns deeper almost immediately. He couldn’t even say whether it’s him or Lucas who does it, but it’s suddenly soft and slow, open-mouthed in a way that has a buzz vibrating just beneath Eliott’s skin. He pulls back only when he feels Lucas’s tongue licking at his lips. Lucas’s eyes are wide and dazed, his lips pleasantly puffy. But it’s only a split-second before they narrow in suspicion. “Did you do that to shut me up?”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “No.” It’s the truth. Any moment spent not kissing Lucas feels like a moment too long. And a grumpy Lucas, skin flush from the cold? There’s absolutely no way Eliott could be expected to resist such a formidable test of his will power. “And you get all my pieces. For the record.”</p><p>Lucas’s nose scrunches. He means it to be a look of disapproval – an objection to Eliott’s choice of words. He only manages to look even more adorable. “You make me sound like a serial killer – collecting body parts or some shit.”</p><p>Eliott snorts a laugh. “Remember when you said that before?” Lucas quirks an eyebrow in question. There’s a ninety-nine percent chance he remembers too and just wants to hear Eliott recall the moment. Eliott’s more than happy to oblige. “In the hospital. Both of us covered in puke. You pretending you didn’t want me as badly as you did.” Lucas rolls his eyes. It only makes Eliott smile wider. “You said our idea of a good time was cutting people open. That we sound like serial killers on a good day.”</p><p>“I said psychopaths.”</p><p>Eliott tries not to let his smile become too smug but it’s a losing battle. “You <em>do</em> remember.”</p><p>“You followed it up by nearly braining me on the tile of the showers. Hard to forget.”</p><p>Eliott sighs wistfully, flashbacks to wet and naked Lucas more than welcome. “Yeah.”</p><p>It makes Lucas laugh as he turns away again, pulling Eliott along by the hand. “Ok, so, this is a fancy movie. Still a movie.”</p><p>Eliott sighs, his breath puffing before him in the cold night air. Lucas’s shameless efforts to play dumb when it comes to all things art shouldn’t be as charming as they are. “A sound and light installation is totally different,” Eliott begins, throwing just the right amount of pompous indignation into his tone. “It combines totally different disciplines, art and engineering, and it’s more than watching a film. It’s multi-sensory and interactive, and –”</p><p>“God,” Lucas interrupts with a laugh, looking over at Eliott with such affection in his eyes, it still – even after so many months of being together – catches Eliott off guard. “You really were meant to be some pretentious art student, hunh? Just got turned around in the halls one day and ended up in medicine.”</p><p>Eliott grins, releasing Lucas’s hand to wrap an arm around his neck instead, hauling him closer. “Got me you.”</p><p>Lucas makes an amused sound. “Bad enough dealing with surgeon you. Not sure I could handle even more insufferable artist Eliott.”</p><p>“You would have thought I was hot.”</p><p>“I already think you’re hot.”</p><p>Eliott tries not to preen too obviously at that. “Hotter.”</p><p>“Not possible.”</p><p>Eliott glances sideways at Lucas, suddenly wondering how loudly his boyfriend might object to Eliott dragging him into the nearest shadowed corner to do unspeakable things to him. Normally it wouldn’t be something he’d need to question. In this cold however, Lucas is likely to give him a bit more lip. “Baby –”</p><p>“Holy shit,” Lucas’s awe filled voice cuts him off and Eliott turns his head to look in the direction of his gaze.</p><p>They’ve rounded the corner and the installation has come into view. Streaks of different coloured lights stretch into the night sky, moving in slow tandem. There are sounds – single notes – that play each time one of the light beams moves. Together the notes have formed a haunting sort of melody. The source of the light beams is several projectors, housed in larger, futuristic looking black boxes that showcase external digital, interactive screens. There are a number of other people milling about, pressing various buttons on the screens. “You didn’t say it would be this!” Lucas moves out from under Eliott’s arm, hurrying towards the installation.</p><p>“I said sound and light installation,” Eliott laughs as he follows. “That’s what you’re looking at.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you didn’t say it would be this cool.” Lucas stops at a lightbox, staring at the screen and then up into where the blue light stretches into the sky..</p><p>“Pretty sure I did,” Eliott mumbles, coming to stand beside him.</p><p>“What does it do?” Lucas asks, turning to look at Eliott rather than read the instructions and artist statement to the side of the lightbox.</p><p>Eliott smiles. This is the part he’d been most excited to tell Lucas about. “Remember how I said it was interactive?” Lucas nods. “So, these numbers,” Eliott points to where you have the option of typing numbers into set lines on the screen, “control the lights. The numbers you put in match coordinates in the night sky. The numbers can be random, but they’ll find something up there – a star, a constellation, a planet… something. But not our sky. Or not exactly.”</p><p>Lucas looks away from the sky towards Eliott, his nose wrinkling in confusion. “What do you mean not our sky?”</p><p>“See. It’s moving,” Eliott points out as they both take a step back to watch as the beam of blue light slowly tracks across the sky, sounding a singular note to join the others. “It’s not us doing it.”</p><p>Lucas stares at it in wonder as it comes to a stop. “Who then?”</p><p>“There are matching installations in other major cities across Europe – Rome, Berlin, Antwerp, and other places, I think. They control our light beams. We control theirs.”</p><p>Lucas looks to the screen in front of him on the light box. “So, the numbers I put in… they’ll change the direction of the light somewhere else?”</p><p>Eliott nods, answering out loud when Lucas’s eyes don’t move from the screen. “Exactly. Someone else will be watching the spot in the sky you chose.”</p><p>Lucas turns to look at him. The blue of his eyes catches the reflected glow of the light beam, making them appear even more ethereal than they do normally. Eliott’s breath catches in his throat. “But why?”</p><p>“I’m not sure,” Eliott admits, tearing his gaze away to look towards the various beams of light moving together. “Maybe to remind us we’re all connected – we’re all looking up at the same night sky? That the choices we make affect others?”</p><p>“Wow,” Lucas whispers, turning to watch as other lights track across the sky. “It’s beautiful.”</p><p>Eliott turns to stare at his profile. “It reminds me of that thing you say… about parallel universes.”</p><p>Lucas glances back to him surprised. “It does?”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Like there could be another Eliott and Lucas in Rome, watching the lights tonight just like us.”</p><p>Lucas laughs lightly. “But this is our reality. The lights exist in different cities in our universe.”</p><p>Eliott knows that’s true. He’s not sure how to explain what he means exactly. “Yeah, but –”</p><p>“Eliott,” Lucas cuts him off, stepping into his space and reaching for the lapels of Eliott’s jacket. “I know what you mean.”</p><p>“Yeah?” Eliott breathes, leaning down to press their cold foreheads together.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Lucas hums, his eyes slipping closed as he presses into the contact. “Lots of parallel universe Eliott and Lucas’s freezing their asses off to move light beams for one another.”</p><p>Eliott snorts with a laugh, pushing back to see Lucas looking up at him with a smug smile. “Brat.” He turns them both back towards the screen, moving a hand up to thread through the back of Lucas’s hair and tug gently. “What numbers should we put in? Birthday?”</p><p>“Nah,” Lucas denies, leaning forward to brush his fingers against the screen, “that’s boring.”</p><p>“Random then?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Yeah, or like… I could put in a date. Like… the day we met?” He doesn’t look at Eliott, staring down at the screen in what becomes apparent is an effort to seem nonchalant.</p><p>Eliott smiles. “That’s awfully romantic.”</p><p>Lucas glances at him quickly. The flush in his cheeks is just a little deeper now. “Shut up.”</p><p>“Let’s do it,” Eliott agrees, rubbing a hand against Lucas’s back to prompt him to enter the numbers. “You remember the date?” Lucas doesn’t answer, leaning forward instead to input the numbers. Eliott watches him, his smile growing. “And you say I’m a romantic cornball…”</p><p>“You are a romantic cornball.” Lucas finishes, pressing the submit button, and stepping back. He allows Eliott to move behind him, wrapping him up snuggly in his arms. Eliott leans forward to press the cold of their cheeks together. “It’s a bit weird thinking someone somewhere else is watching it move for our numbers,” Lucas comments, looking up at their blue light, still and crisp in the night sky.  </p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. “There,” he raises a hand to unnecessarily point at the light beam moving, “they’re moving it back. It’s like they’re talking to us.” He brings his hand back to brush against Lucas’s arm. His tattoo is buried beneath layers and layers of fabric, but Eliott can picture it there. “It’s like magic.”</p><p>Lucas turns his head to nuzzle the tip of his nose against Eliott’s cheek. “Thanks for bringing me.”</p><p>Eliott squeezes him even closer. “C’mon, that’s not all. Let’s warm up.”</p><p>“We’re going somewhere else?” Lucas asks, looking sweetly disappointed.</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, turning to lead Lucas to a nearby bench. He drops the backpack he’s been carrying to the surface and motions for Lucas to have a seat. “I brought us hot chocolate,” he admits, smiling again when Lucas does, “and Bailey’s.”</p><p>“Now we’re talking,” Lucas laughs, happily taking the empty cup handed to him.</p><p>“We can warm up and watch the lights for a little bit longer.” Eliott sits next to him on the bench and goes about filling up both their cups from the thermos he packed, topping the cups with a little Bailey’s as Lucas hums in approval. He hands his own cup to Lucas while he pulls out the small throw he’d packed as well. It won’t provide much extra warmth, but it was all he could fit in the backpack. He spreads it across Lucas’s lap, leaving just enough material for himself, and he tucks them closely together under it, reaching one arm to wrap around Lucas’s shoulders, and reaching for his cup with the other.</p><p>They both sit for a moment, sipping happily on their drinks and watching the light beams glide through the sky.</p><p>“I brought something too,” Lucas says into the gentle silence between them.</p><p>“You did?” Eliott looks to him in surprise.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Lucas nods, not looking away from the lights. “You said I wasn’t getting in the Christmas spirit.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees. “And you said it was hard to get in the spirit when we would be celebrating Christmas with cramped hands from doing sutures all day in the ER for – and I quote – morons who can’t even manage to stop being morons on Christmas.”</p><p>Lucas grins, looking at Eliott now. “And I’m right but…” He shrugs, suddenly looking a little bashful and sweet. “I haven’t really wanted to get into it since my mom was around. It’s different this year.”</p><p>Eliott swears he can feel his heart physically swell in his chest. “Yeah?”</p><p>Lucas nods, glancing away and back to the lights. “And you love all this shit, so…” He motions a hand towards the backpack.</p><p>Eliott grins, reaching for it and rooting through the pockets until he finds an opaque plastic bag in one of the front pockets. The smell of gingerbread wafts from it the moment he pulls it from the pack. “You made gingerbread?” He might sound a little like a child on the cusp of teendom whose crush just said hi in the school hallway… but truly, no one could blame him. Lucas made him Christmas cookies. Lucas, who has been working shifts just as exhausting and back-breaking as Eliott, had taken the time to make gingerbread cookies because he knew Eliott would love them.</p><p>“Sof helped,” Lucas admits with a shrug.</p><p>Eliott stares at his profile, smiling so wide his cheeks ache with it, until Lucas – with a huff, of course – turns back to look at him. “You made me cookies.”</p><p>“Well, you deserve them.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott begins prying the bag open, “that is so sweet, so thoughtful, I –” He cuts himself off as he stares down at the cookies looking up at him from the bag. “Lucas…”</p><p>“Yes?” Lucas’s eyes have widened with false innocence. He could not look more like the bratty bane of Eliott’s existence… love of his fucking life…</p><p>“You made dirty gingerbread cookies…”</p><p>“Excuse me,” Lucas sniffs. “They were wrapped up carefully. They’re quite clean.”</p><p>Eliott looks up, one eyebrow raised in disbelief. “You actually took the time to make gingerbread cookies…” Eliott glances around them for any nosey listeners before adding, “fuck.”</p><p>“Language,” Lucas gasps, so obviously enjoying himself. His eyes are lit up with mischief. “Those are <em>Christmas</em> gingerbread cookies. They’re innocent. You should know better.”</p><p>Eliott lifts one cookie that appears to be one gingerbread man taking another from behind. “Oh yeah. Definitely scream innocent.”</p><p>Lucas grins. “I liked that one.”</p><p>“Can’t believe Sof helped you make these.” Eliott can’t even picture it but the very thought makes him want to laugh and just not stop.</p><p>“He helped make ‘em. Idriss helped me find the cookie cutters online.”</p><p>Eliott gapes. “You bought sexual cookie cutters?”</p><p>“‘Course,” Lucas nods with faux authority. “Now we can get use out of them for years to come. It can be our tradition.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him. Count on Lucas to make something so ridiculous, so goddamn sweet, all at the same time. “You’re something else.”</p><p>“Thank you,” Lucas sniffs, reaching for a cookie of his own. He chooses the one very clearly depicting one gingerbread giving the other a blowjob. Gingerbread cookies are never going to be the same. “You like them though, right?” Lucas doesn’t sound insecure. Not really. But there’s a caution in his voice which is likely more a reflection of how much he knows the holiday means to Eliott – and his own desire to be part of that in his own, bratty, ridiculous way.</p><p>“Yes.” Eliott twists slightly sideways and doesn’t resist the urge to pull Lucas into a kiss. He pulls back with a gentle smile, moving his free hand to brush back the strands of hair fallen down over Lucas’s forehead. “I love my dirty gingerbread men.”</p><p>Lucas smiles. “Good.” He places his cup next to him on the bench and turns to wrap his arms around Eliott’s waist in a sideways hug, tucking closer into his embrace as he presses his head beneath Eliott’s chin. He reaches forward to tap his own cookie against the one held in Eliott’s hand. “This your way of saying what you want later?”</p><p>Eliott snorts, motioning towards Lucas’s own choice. “Was that yours?”  </p><p>Lucas shrugs, letting out a happy sigh as he snuggles into Eliott’s hold. “Guess we can have both.”</p><p>“How generous,” Eliott laughs.</p><p>“I am. Quite,” Lucas sniffs, sounding hilariously pompous.</p><p>Eliott takes a bite of his cookie, humming happily as he chews, leaning back to watch the lights for a moment, warm and more content than he can ever remember being. “I love you, Lucas,” he says, eyes tracking the colourful beams of light in the night sky. “There’s no one else like you.”</p><p>“Not so average?” Lucas asks after a moment.</p><p>Eliott laughs lightly. “No. Definitely nothing average about you.”</p><p>“Well,” Lucas sighs, his arms tightening around Eliott, “I think you’re pretty ok too.”</p><p>“Pretty ok?” Eliott snickers. “A high compliment.”</p><p>“Mmm. Only the best for you.”</p><p>Eliott leans down to press a kiss to the top of Lucas’s head. “We’re going to have lots of traditions together. This can be one.”</p><p>“Freezing our asses off with dirty cookies and hot chocolate while we watch a light show?”  </p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees, near bursting with happiness. “Exactly that.”</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas agrees, more easily than Eliott expected. “Eliott?” Lucas adds after a moment of silence.</p><p>“Mmhmm?”</p><p>“I wouldn’t make gingerbread cookies fucking for anyone else.”</p><p>Eliott laughs, pressing his mouth down into Lucas’s hair. “I know.”</p><p>“I love you.”</p><p>Eliott breathes in the words, closing his eyes as he presses his nose down into Lucas’s hair and soaks up the way ginger and chocolate and other spices have somehow mixed with that uniquely Lucas smell. Eliott didn’t know he could love the way someone smelled quite this much. Lucas. His Lucas.  </p><p>“I think you’re pretty ok too.”</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  
</p><p> </p><p>* * * * </p><p> </p><p>
  <strong>A New Years Eve...</strong>
</p><p>Eliott turns the corner in the hospital to a not unfamiliar sight, but a welcome one all the same. Idriss and Daphne stand facing one another. Daphne has her hands on her hips, the look on her face so fierce she might look intimidating if not for what she had called her ‘New Years Eve scrubs’, pink decorated with splashes of colour like fireworks. Even in profile, Eliott can read the amusement mixed with what is likely genuine irritation, written across Idriss’s face.</p><p>And then there’s Lucas.</p><p>He stands to the side and between then, with an expression of such exasperation, Eliott can’t help the way his own face immediately breaks into a smile at the sight.</p><p>He stops before reaching the trio, leaning his shoulder against the wall as he watches. None of them have noticed him, too caught in their current squabble.</p><p>“I <em>wasn’t </em>the one who administered it, goldilocks,” Idriss says through gritted teeth. “I wasn’t even on shift.”</p><p>“But you followed up, <em>muscles,</em>” she argues. “You should have seen the error.”</p><p>“Oh right,” Idriss scoffs. “With all our free time.”</p><p>“It doesn’t require free time! It’s our job!”</p><p>“Jesus Christ, shut up!” Lucas interrupts, a hand moving to press against his forehead, before he rakes it back through his hair, his frustration clear. He seems to think better of his tone, however, when both Daphne and Idriss direct their ire his direction. “I’m just saying, I don’t care.” His voice has softened infinitesimally but it has maintained its hardened authority. “Fix it. I’ll talk to Dr. Faure. And you two better back me up after I do.”</p><p>Idriss and Daphne both cross their arms against their chests as they nod in perfect synchronicity, looking a lot like children on the received end of a scolding, who desperately want to talk back, but realize the consequences of doing so are not worth the impulse. Eliott very nearly laughs, biting his lip around his smile as he watches the scene unfold. </p><p>It still amazes him the way Lucas can look like he’s towering over others, even when – in Idriss’s case at least – they should be the one’s doing the towering. But there’s something so powerful about the way Lucas stands, the way he speaks, and the no-nonsense way he demands everyone else keep up because he won’t be waiting on him. There’s no question Idriss and Daphne feel the same, though Eliott doubts their reactions involve a sudden and desperate desire to pull Lucas into the nearest on-call room.</p><p>“What?” Lucas asks with eyebrows raised when Idriss and Daphne continue to stand staring at him. “You waiting to be dismissed? Go.”</p><p>Daphne huffs, and with an impressive flip of her ponytail, stomps off. Idriss pauses before he takes his own leave.</p><p>“You’re a prick,” he says. Despite his words there’s a small smile on his face when he looks at Lucas. Eliott knows that feeling – loving Lucas for his prick-ish ways as much as they piss you off. “But for what it’s worth, I’m sorry for the screw-up.”</p><p>Lucas nods. “It’s not your fault anymore than it’s mine. But we’re the one’s picking up the pieces so… just sort it, alright?” Lucas doesn’t look particularly forgiving, but his words are measured and more agreeable than Eliott would have expected, if a little exhausted. But then… it’s been a very long week.</p><p>Working straight through Christmas to the eve of the New Year has taken its toll and Eliott knows just how much of himself Lucas gives every shift. Eliott is no different, of course, but Lucas’s approach to work takes an emotional level of control Eliott will never quite understand, nor master. Something Eliott has come to realize since being with Lucas, is that the restraint Lucas uses while at work – adopting a professional veil that allows for little emotional expression outside of when he’s with the kids in the cancer ward – emotionally and physically exhausts him in a way Eliott hasn’t experienced – not like that. But despite Eliott’s protests that Lucas let himself go – <em>relax</em> on occasion – his boyfriend is nothing if not stubborn.</p><p>It’s alright though. It just means Eliott gets the most excellent pleasure of helping him relax, within hospital walls and outside of them. Of course, Eliott takes this honour quite seriously, and is happy to do so at every possible opportunity.</p><p>Though… Eliott considers the past week with a frown… there hasn’t been a lot of relaxing as of late. Exhaustion has won out even over everything else, including Eliott and Lucas’s fairly insatiable appetites for one another. The most they’ve managed over the past week is to wrap arms around one another as they’ve collapsed into bed together. It’s been nice. Certainly nothing Eliott would complain about. But the prospect of having the next two days off has his blood singing with the possibility of more.</p><p>Eliott lets his gaze glide across Lucas’s profile as his boyfriend turns with Idriss, saying a few more words and watching their friend disappear down the hall. His eyes catch on the side of Lucas’s neck where it meets his shoulder and a tendon strains against skin. Eliott wants to press his lips there, sink his teeth in and suck until the skin blooms with a bruise. Lucas will complain, tell Eliott he’s an asshole and leaving marks is ‘<em>so highschool’</em>. But then Eliott will catch him in the bathroom, staring at his own reflection as he presses two fingers down on the bruise and shivers.</p><p><em>Fuck</em>.</p><p>Eliott wants him.</p><p>Lucas turns back towards the nurse’s station, depositing the paperwork he holds onto the surface and leaning over to leave a note. The line of his jaw is sharp. He’s clearly still irritated, his authoritative mask still in place. It slips the moment he turns, and his eyes finally catch Eliott’s. His formally hardened expression softens instantly, and he smiles. Eliott’s smile mirrors Lucas’s own and he presses off of the wall and approaches as Lucas does the same.</p><p>“So, you just stood there and watched as I dealt with those two?” Lucas says the moment they stop in front of one another. He’s cocked an eyebrow, but paired with the sweet smile on his face, the effect only makes him look like the sort of adorable troublemaker you want to smother in kisses… or, maybe that’s just Eliott.</p><p>Eliott raises an eyebrow to match Lucas’s in challenge. “You’d rather I’d have stepped in to rescue you?” Lucas snorts but doesn’t answer, both of them knowing Eliott’s idea of a rescue would be anything but. “Besides,” he adds, letting his eyes drag down Lucas’s body before they travel back up again to meet his eyes. “I like watching you.” Eliott knows he’s not imagining the way Lucas’s cheeks have taken on a sudden, rosy tinge.</p><p>Lucas’s eyes skitter away as he scoffs. “Perv.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “Hey, I meant that in a purely innocent way. Just appreciating how hot and in-charge you are. In a <em>strictly</em> professional sense of course.”</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Lucas hums as he looks back to him, clearly not believing a word Eliott says. “What are you still doing here, anyways? Thought you were gonna go home to check on Daisy before dinner.”</p><p>Eliott nods, glancing towards the clock hanging above the nurse’s station. Shift should have ended almost an hour ago.</p><p>“Got caught up,” he admits, looking back to Lucas. “You too?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Bit of a screw-up. Gotta go find Faure. You go home and check on Daisy. We can meet at dinner.”</p><p>Eliott eyes him suspiciously. “What about your clothes?” On a normal day, Lucas could get away with casual wear for a dinner with friends, but a New Years Eve celebration demands a different level of formality.</p><p>“Brought ‘em with me,” Lucas says with a shrug. “I’ll get ready here.”</p><p>Eliott takes in Lucas’s overly casual disposition. “This isn’t some elaborate plan to be late to dinner, is it?”</p><p>Lucas rolls his eyes and Eliott can <em>hear </em>the sarcasm in his voice before he even speaks. “Why would I <em>ever </em>want to be late to dinner with your ex?”</p><p>Eliott sighs, smiling despite himself as he reaches to pull Lucas closer by the front of his scrubs – a move Lucas allows likely only because the surrounding hallways appear to be deserted. “Anna was never my girlfriend,” he says unnecessarily. Lucas knows this so course. “And it’s not like it’s just dinner with her. Yann will be there,” he reminds Lucas, though it once again feels a bit unnecessary – not like they haven’t already discussed this dinner <em>at painful length</em>. “Idriss and Manon too.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look comforted by this at all, though Eliott didn’t expect him to. “Idriss won’t even get there until later.” A result of Idriss working a longer and less convenient shift than them. “It’s a double date and you know it.” His lower lip juts out just enough to hint at the pout he would have committed to if not for their current work setting.</p><p>“Yeah,” Eliott agrees with a shameless shrug. That had been the point of course. But he and Yann had agreed to somewhat soften the potential Lucas-shaped reaction to such a suggestion, by expanding the guest list to include the other couple. “And it’s going to be fun.”</p><p>Lucas dips his head and steps closer, curling fingers into the front of Eliott’s scrubs and looking up through his lashes. Eliott’s mouth drops open, surprised by the sudden change in mood from his boyfriend, but far too enraptured to question it. “More fun than staying home?” Lucas bites his lower lip, letting it pop from his mouth shiny and wet. “Could stay in bed,” Lucas continues, his voice soft and suggestive. “Just me and you. Naked.” He blinks slowly, his eyes wide and deep blue. “I could ride you. Ring in the new year with you inside me.”</p><p>Eliott shudders, squeezing his eyes. It does nothing to stop the flood of images filling his brain. He slips his hands down to Lucas’s waist, squeezing as he opens his eyes and calls on every measure of self-control he’d normally allow to desert him when faced with such a suggestion. “You are…” He stares at Lucas’s guileless face – a façade he’s perfected, “an unbelievable brat. And we’re going to dinner.”</p><p>Lucas huffs, shoving Eliott away from him and crossing his arms across his chest with his face turned away. “You used to be easier for me.”</p><p>Eliott laughs and it comes out as a low rumble, the air between them so heady with want, he’s beginning to question his own decisions now too. “You have no idea how easy I am for you, baby.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes track back to him and rest for a moment. “You better make good on that later.” It should be a threat. Instead, it sounds only like an invitation.</p><p>Eliott nods. “I will.” It’s a guarantee and they both know it.</p><p>“Fine.” Lucas’s arms fall back to his sides. “I need to get going. I’ll see you at the restaurant then.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “See you there.” He doesn’t make a move to leave.</p><p>Lucas stares at him for a moment before he turns and begins making his way down the hall.</p><p>“Dr. Lallemant,” Eliott calls after him, smile already growing on his face.</p><p>Lucas stops and glances back curiously. “What?”</p><p>“It’s red. Definitely red.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows scrunch together in confusion before his eyes clear with understanding and he glances down at his arm, his tattoo half exposed by the way he’s pulled up the sleeves of his lab coat. When he looks back up it’s with his middle finger raised. Eliott laughs, watching as Lucas spins back around and rushes down the hall.  </p><p>In all honesty, Eliott isn’t sure how they’re supposed to make it through a dinner with friends, and the party at Alex, Emma, and Lucille’s that is to follow, without jumping one another. The anticipation feels tangible in the air, licking at his skin, both hot and cold. He can practically see the flames form, blue at their core, red as they lick at his skin. One thing is for certain, if history has taught Eliott anything… Lucas is worth the wait.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>
  
</p><p>“And how’s my baby?” Eliott asks before rethinking his choice of words. “Don’t tell Lucas I call you that when he’s not around. He’s the jealous type.”</p><p>Eliott smiles down at the furry face of Daphne’s pet bunny. Eliott and Lucas had agreed to care for her over the next four days as Daphne and Basile were going away following Daphne’s shift at the hospital. Eliott and Lucas had been pondering getting a pet for a while but being as busy as they were at the hospital had decided to put it off until they knew they could devote themselves a little better to the undertaking. Knowing how much they both missed having pets around, however, Daphne had given them a chance to take care of Daisy while she was away. ‘A pet-parent test run’ she’d called it and they’d been more than eager to accept. And so, Daisy was theirs – at least for the next four days.</p><p>Eliott pulls her from her cage, giving her the requisite snuggle and kisses before he lets her down on the floor to explore and goes about cleaning her cage, providing some fresh water and food, before cutting up a couple radishes and strips of bell pepper to leave her as a treat for later. Maybe they spoil her a little. Eliott feels confident Daphne won’t mind, and Lucas and Eliott had both agreed that as Daisy’s uncles it was their job to overly indulge her.</p><p>Eliott spends a little too much time playing with Daisy and is forced to rush through his shower, changing quickly into a simple maroon button up shirt, and black slacks. He’s just pulled his coat on and is scrutinizing his artfully tousled hair in the mirror by the door when his phone buzzes in his pocket. Eliott smiles when he sees Lucas’s name on the screen.</p><p>He picks up. “Hey baby, I was –”</p><p>
  <em>“Where are you?!!”</em>
</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows rise, surprised by the ferocity of Lucas’s tone. He quickly glances towards the clock on the stove in the kitchen. There’s a good five minutes until their dinner reservation and the restaurant is right between their apartment and Eliott’s old one. They’d specifically planned it that way. At this pace, he’d likely have ended up being five or so minutes late but… the point is, he’s not late <em>yet.</em></p><p>“I’m… on my way.” It suddenly seems in the best interest of his desire to have sex with Lucas again at some point in the future that he <em>not </em>tell Lucas he hasn’t left yet. He rushes to collect his keys as he speaks. “Why?”</p><p>“<em>Why?! Because I’m here you asshole, and so is SHE.”</em></p><p>Never in his wildest dreams did Eliott expect Lucas would be <em>early </em>to dinner. “Oh.”</p><p>
  <em>“Oh? Oh?! That’s what you have to say? I swear to –”</em>
</p><p>“Wait,” Eliott interrupts as he locks their door, hurrying down the building’s hallway, “you’re calling me with Anna right there?”</p><p><em>“She went to the bathroom</em>,” Lucas huffs. “<em>Probably ‘cause she knows this is fucking awkward too and that our boyfriends suck.”</em></p><p>“Yann isn’t there?” Eliott asks, knowing immediately this was a stupid question to ask.</p><p>
  <em>“If he was here, would I be calling you?! He’s late too, the dickhead.”</em>
</p><p>Eliott decides against pointing out he’s not<em> actually </em>late – not for another two minutes. “Well, I’m on my way. I’ll be there soon.”</p><p>
  <em>“And what am I supposed to do ‘til then?!”</em>
</p><p>Eliott holds his breath for a moment so as not to laugh. “Talk to her maybe? Make conversation.”</p><p>Lucas is quiet for a moment. <em>“God, I hate you.”</em></p><p>Eliott grins, pushing out of the front door of their building and making his way to the street. “You don’t.”</p><p>
  <em>“She’s coming back. I have to go.”</em>
</p><p>“Love you, baby,” Eliott rushes to say before Lucas hangs up. “Please don’t kill one another before Yann and I get there.” Lucas hangs up.</p><p>Eliott tucks his phone back into his pocket, picking up his pace to a gentle jog.</p><p>It’s not Anna he has to worry about – not Lucas either really. That’s the ridiculous part of Lucas’s protests when it comes to spending any time with Anna. Eliott is almost positive Lucas actually likes her. It makes sense really. They’re both funny, smart, witty people, able to trade barbs and jokes with the sort of seamless back and forth that’s more familiar in a scripted movie than real life. And Eliott is positive Lucas harbors a grudging amount of respect for the way Anna refuses to back down when faced with any misplaced animosity directed her way in the form of one blue-eyed boyfriend. But while Lucas and Anna’s tentative foray into friendly acquaintance has been in process for months, they’ve never been forced to test their precarious comradery while <em>alone</em>. This was admittedly not a contingency he and Yann had considered. Eliott slows his pace enough to pull out his phone and text Yann.</p><p>
  <em>You almost at the restaurant?</em>
</p><p>Yann responds immediately. <b><em>Had to drop something by my mom’s. Running a bit late</em></b></p><p>Eliott sighs unhappily, texting back. <em>Same. </em>He adds a few alarm bell emojis for good measure.</p><p>Yann texts back a series of question marks.</p><p><em>Lucas and Anna are there. ALONE</em>. Eliott stares at his phone as he watches the typing bubble appear on Yann’s end.</p><p>
  <b>
    <em>Oh fuck</em>
  </b>
</p><p>Eliott snorts. <em>Please hurry. And pray he doesn’t murder me too</em></p><p>
  <b>
    <em>On my way</em>
  </b>
</p><p>* * * *</p><p>When Eliott rushes into the restaurant, harried, perhaps a little sweaty, and eight minutes late, it’s to a sight he didn’t foresee. While he hadn’t actually expected Lucas and Anna to be in the midst of an all-out brawl, the picture before him seems just as impossible.</p><p>Anna and Lucas are sat across from one another at a table for six – not just sat across from one another but <em>leaning </em>towards one another. They’ve both got their forearms pressed to the table as they speak, heads bent forward and together in body language that would suggest… well, a date, if Eliott didn’t know better. Anna is smiling as she speaks, waving a hand in gesture through the air as Lucas listens. And even more shockingly, there’s a slight smile on Lucas’s face, begrudging maybe, but present all the same. He’s nodding as Eliott approaches.</p><p>Anna cuts herself off as she sees Eliott. “Oh, well, look who decided to show.”</p><p>Eliott smiles with a bashful shrug. “I’m not the only one who’s late.” He nods towards the empty chair beside Anna.</p><p>“Yeah,” Anna agrees. “But my boyfriend <em>warned </em>me he’d be late. What about you?” She raises her eyebrow like she knows the answer. She likely does.</p><p>“I didn’t think I’d be late,” Eliott says, adding a bit of a pout in fruitless hope of garnering some sympathy. He slips off his coat and folds it across the back of his chair. Taking the seat next to Lucas, he directs pitiful eyes his boyfriend’s way. “I planned to be on time.”</p><p>Lucas snorts, looking back to Anna. “Probably convinced himself Daisy didn’t want him to leave and spent an extra ten minutes cuddling her. That or he lost track of time doing his hair.” Eliott <em>cannot</em> admit that Lucas is right.</p><p>Anna laughs. “That sounds likely. Always was too nice <em>and </em>pretty for his own good.” Eliott winces, looking to Lucas in preparation for his boyfriend’s irritation with Anna for acknowledging any positive attributes in Eliott. But Lucas is… laughing? Eliott stares agape as his boyfriend speaks, his voice relaxed and amused.</p><p>“It’s a deadly combo really, but I guess you know. Yann’s so nice sometimes it actually pisses me off.”</p><p>“Oh lord, tell me about it,” Anna expels in a dramatic breath. “We’re walking the other day,” she leans forward as she begins her story and Lucas mirrors her position, “and he sees this old lady struggling with her grocery bags –”</p><p>“Oh god,” Lucas groans as though he’s already guessed where this story is going.</p><p>Anna nods in agreement with the unspoken assumption. “He <em>insists </em>on helping her. Not just organize her bags – oh no, no – we have to <em>walk her home</em>. The lady lived, like, three blocks in the <em>opposite </em>direction we were going.”</p><p>Lucas laughs. “Shit. That sounds just like him.”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t understand why they’re sharing this anecdote as though it were a bad thing. “But that’s nice,” he protests with a frown. “What if she couldn’t have made it on her own?”</p><p>Lucas looks to him with a dramatic roll of his eyes, glancing back at Anna. “So now you know I <em>literally </em>feel your pain.”</p><p>Anna giggles. “For real. And it’s not like I wanted the lady to struggle or something. I would have helped her get organized and sent her on her merry way.”</p><p>“Totally practical,” Lucas agrees with a resolute nod.</p><p>“And we’re not at the beginning of dating,” Anna continues. “Like the kid doesn’t need to impress me, anymore. <em>Believe me</em>, I’m impressed.” She adds a suggestive raise of her eyebrows and Lucas laughs. “Nah, he just does this stuff out of the goodness of his heart.” She says it as though this is a miraculous – and perhaps ridiculous – quality for a man to possess.</p><p>“A freak of nature,” Lucas agrees with a shake of his head. “Should’a seen teen-me trying to get over his ass when he insisted on being such a nice guy.”</p><p>“The nerve,” Anna laughs. “He could have at least been gay if he was going to insist on being nice to you.”</p><p>“All I’m saying,” Lucas agrees with a laugh of his own.</p><p>Eliott’s gaze swings between them both, incredulous. “You told Anna you crushed on Yann?” He and Lucas have barely even discussed that. Though perhaps that’s due to Eliott’s desire to forget entirely that Lucas has <em>ever</em> been attracted to other men – celebrities they are unlikely to ever meet being the only exception.</p><p>Lucas glances at him quickly with a shrug, before directing his attention back to Anna. “I ever tell you about the time we were in the locker room and he changed extra slow so I could have a look?” Eliott frowns.</p><p>“Shut up!” Anna laughs. “He would.”</p><p>Eliott watches as Lucas goes about retelling the story to Anna’s delight. He should be glad they’re getting along. And he is – don’t get him wrong, he <em>is</em>. It’s all he and Yann have wanted. But there’s a niggling feeling like disappointment sitting in his gut too, and Eliott can’t totally explain it. Or perhaps he can. He knows what it is. It just feels too ridiculous to acknowledge out loud – even if ‘out loud’ means ‘inside the privacy of his own mind’.</p><p>It’s only that… he likes the way Lucas gets all huffy and possessive when Anna’s name comes up. And no, Eliott doesn’t want a relationship of mistrust and jealousy. But he and Lucas <em>aren’t </em>like that. Not normally. They love one another. They trust in their relationship and one another. But… well… sometimes it’s <em>fun</em> to want one another so badly, they can’t help but behave like the occasional jealous moron when it comes to others. And sometimes it’s even more fun to work out that pent up frustration in other – less public-restaurant appropriate – ways.</p><p>And yes, Eliott will agree, he’s definitely an idiot. He needs no convincing where that is concerned.</p><p>He sighs and tunes back in just as Lucas is saying, “Fuck. A whole four minutes. Consider yourself lucky.”</p><p>Eliott narrows his eyes suspiciously. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>Lucas looks over to him, his eyes reflecting challenge. “You’re sitting right here. Shouldn’t you know?”</p><p>“He was ignoring us,” Anna jumps in to comment. “We should probably be insulted.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees with a smile as he continues to look at Eliott. “But he probably just got lost in imagining me naked. It happens.”</p><p>Eliott is torn between being insulted and, well… <em>actually</em> picturing Lucas naked. It’s not his fault! Lucas put the thought right there. “You don’t need to speak of me in third person when I’m literally right here.”</p><p>Lucas grins, bringing a hand up to brushing fingers along the shell of Eliott’s ear. “Are you though, baby?” <em>Baby</em>. Lucas so rarely uses that term of endearment, it still hits Eliott like a ton of bricks every time he does. He’s thankfully saved in having to respond by Yann’s appearance.</p><p>“There’s my man,” Anna squeals when she sees him, standing up as he approaches the table.</p><p>Yann’s eyes widen at the sight of her. He looks at her as though they haven’t been seriously committed to one another for over five months now. It’s incredibly sweet. “Damn,” Yann crows, reaching around Anna’s back to pull her closer as he kisses her in greeting. “You sure you’re with the right guy?”</p><p>“How’s that?” She asks with a laugh, winding her arms around his neck as she leans back with a vibrant smile.</p><p>“No way a woman this beautiful gives me the time of day,” Yann continues, moving a hand to brush against the riot of natural curls framing Anna’s face.</p><p>“Must be something pretty special about you then,” Anna banters back.</p><p>“Alright,” Lucas interrupts loudly. “That’s enough of you two being disgusting. Take a seat, Cazas.”</p><p>Yann laughs and with one more kiss pressed to Anna’s cheek, he moves to do as asked.</p><p>“At least <em>someone </em>got a proper hello,” Eliott grumbles beneath his breath, but admittedly, loud enough for Lucas to hear.</p><p>Lucas turns to him, one eyebrow raised. “Something to say, average?”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes narrow and he sits back in his chair with a huff that maybe wouldn’t be out of place in a primary school classroom. “No.”</p><p>“So,” Yann says, looking between Anna and Lucas, “you two are getting along then?”</p><p>Anna laughs while Lucas scoffs and answers. “You’re not supposed to just ask like that. Have I taught you nothing about how to avoid situations until they blow up in your face, Yanny boy?” Yann joins Anna in her laughter and Eliott can’t help the way his mouth twitches at the corners into the beginnings of a smile. “Now, we’re gonna have to go back to pretending to hate one another.”</p><p>“Is that what we were doing?” Anna asks, her smile bright. “Here I thought there was some authenticity to that hate.”</p><p>Lucas shrugs. “Yeah. But look where that gets me.” He directs a thumb in Eliott’s direction.</p><p>“You never hated me,” Eliott protests, forgetting he’s supposed to be pouting in the face of such fallacious slander. It’s to no avail, however, as the others are too taken with one another to give him any attention.</p><p>“Well, I can at least promise I won’t follow you around trying to dry-hump you like I’m sure he did,” Anna says with a laugh as she settles back in her seat with Yann’s arm resting around her shoulders.</p><p>“I didn’t,” Eliott says, sitting up slightly from his chair, feeling a lot like he’s talking into a void.</p><p>“We kinda skipped the dry-hump stage,” Lucas says with a smile, not even glancing at Eliott as he speaks. “Went right to getting his dick in my mouth if I’m honest.”</p><p>Anna laughs, looking quickly with a smile to Yann before she responds. “Well… same, so, I guess I can’t judge.” Lucas and Yann laugh.</p><p>“I’ll drink to that.” Lucas lifts his wine glass.</p><p>Anna does the same, clinking glasses with Lucas. “To dicks in our mouths!”</p><p>With truly impeccable timing, Manon and Idriss take that moment to appear.</p><p>“Uh,” Idriss grimaces at he looks down on them. “Did I miss when that became a toast?”</p><p>Manon laughs. “I dunno. Has a certain ring to it I’d say.” It leads to a new round of laughter that even Eliott – determined as he is to sulk – is helpless against.</p><p>They all settle at the table and into conversation, and eventually, when their waiter appears looking impressively bored, food too. It’s a truly pleasant evening, as Eliott and Yann knew it would be once Lucas and Anna finally relaxed around one another. Laughter comes easily and it really would be the perfect night out if not for the way Lucas is barely paying attention to Eliott. It’s not that Eliott needs his hand held at all times – not even that he needs Lucas’s focus on him, but he can’t help but feel a little like he’s being intentionally ignored. Lucas is all laughter and smiles for everyone <em>but </em>him. He’s being his most charming self, effusive, witty, and interesting, but it’s missing a dynamic Eliott hadn’t realized he’d gotten so used to. The shared smiles and the quick glances of understanding, that silent acknowledgement of one another in the form of subtle touches or lingering eye contact, the inside jokes and comments directed only at one another… it’s all just… absent. Eliott isn’t about to make a monumental ‘the world and our relationship as we know it are ending’ deal over it, but what he <em>is</em> going to do is mope. And <em>loudly</em>… or as loudly as one can without actually speaking at all.</p><p>Idriss’s hits the side of Eliott’s leg just as everyone are finishing up their main courses. He waits until Eliott glances at him before he speaks in a quiet enough voice that it’s almost lost in the riotous conversation happening across the rest of the table.</p><p>“What’s up with you pouting all meal, bro?”</p><p>Eliott’s frown deepens. “I’m not.”</p><p>Idriss’s expels a disbelieving breath. “Right.” He glances past Eliott towards Lucas before asking, “You two fight or something?”</p><p>Eliott shakes his head, sighing as he glances towards Lucas who sports a bright smile as he chats with Yann and Anna. He feels like a dick for being upset when Lucas is clearly having a great time – when that is all Eliott wanted. He’s just… a mess.</p><p>“No.” He turns back to Idriss, not bothering to school his unhappy expression. “We’re fine actually.”</p><p>Idriss’s eyebrows pull together with concern. “You wanna take a breather?” He juts his chin towards the exterior of the restaurant. “I’ll come with.”</p><p><em>“That’s a good idea</em>,” Manon interrupts, having rounded from her side of the table to wrap arms around Idriss’s neck from behind. She presses a kiss to his cheek. “I was going to go freshen up in the bathroom. Maybe you should do the same, Eliott.”</p><p>He stares at her in confusion before grabbing for his napkin, horrified, and pressing it about his mouth. “Do I have something on my face?”</p><p>“Bro, I would have told you,” Idriss laughs. Eliott doesn’t actually agree with that statement. Once, Idriss had let him approach a hot guy at bar with the tail end of his shirt hanging through his open fly like a very tiny, white dick. But he generously doesn’t mention that memory – not particularly wanting to relive the humiliation himself.</p><p>“Nothing like that,” Manon says, brushing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I only meant you might feel a little better if you had a chance to splash some water on your face. That always helps me.”</p><p>Her suggestion is still incredibly odd and feels just a little out of place, but Eliott shrugs, figuring its better than continuing to sit and sulk at the table. It also occurs to him that perhaps she wants to speak to him away from the table – maybe there’s an issue with her and Idriss? – and while the last thing he wants to do is take on the worries of another couple, it would be the very least he could do considering the many ways Idriss and Manon have been there for Lucas and Eliott.</p><p>“Alright.” He stands from the table, glancing towards Lucas but his boyfriend doesn’t pay him any mind, steadfastly continuing the retelling of a story to Anna. He’s talking about a recent article he read about the removal of an enormous tapeworm from a surgical patient. He’d already excitedly told Eliott about it as they’d laid together in bed one evening reading. It’s the least dinner appropriate story Eliott can imagine. He loves that Lucas isn’t the least bit concerned by that, continuing in his graphic retelling as Anna’s face transforms with more and more disgust. It makes Eliott smile, perhaps a little sadly, as he turns to accompany Manon to the restaurant’s bathrooms.</p><p>Manon doesn’t speak as they begin walking, a serene smile on her face.</p><p>“Are you and Idriss ok?” Eliott asks, more bluntly than he ever would normally but he doesn’t quite have the energy to be anything but. And it’s not like a very short walk to the bathrooms allows for any subtly.</p><p>Manon looks to him in surprise. “Yes. We’re great. Why do you ask?”</p><p>Eliott gestures around them as they walk. “Thought you wanted to get me alone to talk shit about him maybe.”</p><p>Manon laughs lightly. “No. Nothing like that. I’d say we’re still very much in the honeymoon stage.”</p><p>Eliott smiles a little. “I’m glad.”</p><p>They pause awkwardly outside the bathrooms and she turns back to him with a mischievous smile. “I suppose it is a bit annoying that I can’t ever save leftovers. He eats them <em>all</em>.”</p><p>Eliott laughs. “I know. You can’t even hide them. Once I tried the back of the freezer and –”</p><p>“Me too!” She cuts him off with a laugh. “I saved the rest of this amazing chocolate cake I couldn’t finish at the restaurant. I tucked it under the frozen Brussel sprouts, and I was sure he wouldn’t find it but –”</p><p>“He did,” Eliott finishes for her. “Yeah. Been there. No delicious food is safe from Idriss.”</p><p>“He said anyone who didn’t finish dessert deserved to have their leftovers eaten,” she finishes with a snort, affection dripping from her every word.</p><p>“Eh. He might not be wrong there.” Eliott laughs as Manon swats at him.</p><p>“Well, you live with Lucas who will absolutely eat you out of house and home, so I won’t feel too sorry for myself,” she says as Eliott snorts in agreement. “Anyways, I’m going to go freshen up. You should do the same. I’m sure you’ll feel better.”</p><p>Eliott isn’t so convinced but he does as told. He pees and washes his hands, leaning against the counter as he stares at himself in the mirror. There’s no one else in the communal bathroom, and he takes a moment to feel sorry for himself. It’s silly to work up such a fuss over the loss of attention of one’s boyfriend for the finite duration of a meal, but it’s such a rare occurrence to <em>not </em>have Lucas’s attention, Eliott isn’t quite sure what to do with this needy feeling gnawing at his gut.</p><p>He turns the tap on for the cold water and leans down to splash it on his face, listening as the door to the bathroom opens behind him. That’s just great. Now some random person is going to know him as the weirdo who washes his face in the restaurant bathroom. Eliott quickly straightens and reaches for the stack of paper towels on the counter. He pats his face dry before he dares to look up into the mirror’s reflection to see if the newcomer has given him any notice. He stops short when he sees the face staring back.</p><p>Lucas.</p><p>Eliott turns around, reaching to throw away the paper towels before he looks back to Lucas in question.</p><p>“Need to pee?” He asks somewhat stupidly, feeling strangely insecure and maybe a little out of sorts.</p><p>“Remember the first night we met?” Lucas asks instead of answering.</p><p>Eliott’s eyebrows fly up in surprise. As if he could <em>ever </em>forget. “Yes. Of course.”</p><p>Lucas approaches him slowly, stopping when they’re separated by a meter of space. “You followed me into the bathroom then.” He smiles a little, looking away as he gets lots in the memory. “So fucking smooth I didn’t know what the hell to make of you.”</p><p>Eliott laughs a little, his smile widening as Lucas looks back to him. “I really wasn’t. I was seriously freaking out actually. But…” He shrugs, “felt important you thought I was smooth.”</p><p>Lucas tilts his head as he looks at Eliott, small smile decorating his lips. “Offering up a blowjob was pretty smooth.”</p><p>Eliott shrugs, unashamed and unabashed. “You can’t blame me. Look at you.”</p><p>Lucas steps closer, stopping when they’re separated only by the width of a stretched hand. “Sure I can.” He says it softly, tilting his head back as he looks at Eliott. It sounds a lot like he means something else – like <em>kiss me</em> should be in place of the words he’s spoken. But despite the very real need Eliott feels to meet this silent demand, he can’t quite let go of his former sulk.</p><p>“You’ve been ignoring me all night.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look particularly surprised by this complaint, his eyes just barely registering acknowledgement. “I have.” It sounds more like a statement than a question.</p><p>“Yes,” Eliott confirms unnecessarily. “Laughing with everyone. Talking. Being all… cute and funny. But not to me.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows rise and his smile pulls into a bit of a smirk. “And you think I don’t know what you’re doing?”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “I wasn’t doing anything.”</p><p>Lucas breathes a slight laugh. “Exactly. Sitting there pouting because I wasn’t giving you any attention.”</p><p>Eliott can’t exactly argue with that. “Well… so? You’d be the same if I was ignoring you.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas agrees easily with a shrug. “Probably.”</p><p>“So then why?” Eliott asks, staring at him in confusion.</p><p>Lucas licks his lips, and Eliott notices there’s a flush to his cheeks that wasn’t there previously. “I can’t look at you when I’m like this. I can’t talk to you – feel your eyes on me like this.”</p><p>Eliott’s mouth parts as he stares down at Lucas. “Like this? Like what?”</p><p>Lucas looks around them, glancing to the empty stalls before he takes hold of Eliott’s shirt, spinning them so his back is to the mirror. He reaches for the button on his own pants.</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott warns in a hushed whisper, glancing quickly to the surrounding bathroom though he knows it’s empty, “we can’t. Anyone could come in.”</p><p>“I know.” Lucas doesn’t look at all deterred. He unzips his pants and reaches for Eliott’s hand.</p><p>Eliott is helpless to stop him, so desperate to get his hands on Lucas, every patron in the restaurant could walk in on them and Eliott would probably only shrug. Lucas doesn’t pull the hand to the front of his pants as Eliott was expecting, however, and Eliott’s eyebrows fly up in surprise as Lucas instead presses Eliott’s hand to the back of his pants, pushing it down against his heated skin.</p><p>Eliott steps closer, pressing their bodies together with a shudder as he gropes at Lucas’s ass. “Baby…”</p><p>“Lower,” Lucas directs, his breath now coming in quick pants.</p><p>Eliott does as told, knowing their time alone in the bathroom is precarious and undetermined, and having no idea what it is Lucas has planned. He slides his hand lower, fingers seeking until they reach the area on Lucas’s body he’s come to know so well – that he’s <em>worshiped </em>with his fingers… his tongue… his cock. Only… he freezes… this is not at all what he expected.</p><p>“Lucas…” He sounds awed which is only appropriate. His fingers prod at the hard, circular shape blocking Lucas’s hole from his prying fingers.</p><p>“Can’t look at you when I know,” Lucas pants, his words a rush of breath as Eliott’s fingers continue to feel out the butt plug Eliott now realizes Lucas has had inside him the entire evening. “Can’t talk to you, touch you, without thinking about it.”</p><p>“What?” Eliott prompts, so turned on he feels dizzy with it. He gets his fingers around the rim of the plug and tugs, watching as Lucas gasps loudly, falling forward to press hands against Eliott’s chest.</p><p>“You,” Lucas pants, looking up at Eliott with dark eyes. “You inside me. Knowing –” He chokes on a breath as Eliott’s fingers continue to prod at the plug. “Knowing I’m ready for you – stretched for you – for your cock.”</p><p>“Lu, baby –” Eliott doesn’t get a chance to finish his thought when Lucas is grabbing his forearm and pulling his arm away, removing Eliott’s hand from his pants. “But…” Eliott trails off desperately, watching with disbelieving, confused eyes as Lucas goes about refastening his pants. His dark jeans bulge a little at the front, but he looks otherwise just as put together as he had when he’d entered the bathroom.</p><p>Lucas looks back up and bites his bottom lip. Eliott <em>needs </em>to kiss him and is only stopped by the firm hand Lucas presses to his chest when he realizes Eliott’s intent. “We’ve got a dinner with our friends to finish,” Lucas points out. Eliott is satisfied to see his breath remains unsteady and affected. Eliott has never been less interested in socializing with the people he loves more than <em>right fucking now</em>. “Was your idea after all.” Lucas smirks and Eliott can’t do anything but stare at him with renewed awe.</p><p>“You’re…” He can’t even finish the thought. Lucas has done it to torture him. He’s… diabolical. The most cheeky… clever… <em>teasing</em> brat on the planet. Eliott loves him so goddamn much.</p><p>Lucas smiles, as smug as anything. “Now c’mon. We wait any longer they’re gonna think we’re hooking up in here.” With that he spins on his heel and makes his way to the bathroom door.</p><p>Eliott stares down at his own pants, more formal than Lucas’s and more clearly showing the shape of his erection stretching the front of the fabric. He sighs, untucking the ends of his shirt and letting them hand down his front. He’ll look a bit like a slob but better that than a horny pervert with a dick so hard it could be registered as a weapon. He buys himself an extra moment to compose himself as he washes his hands once more, but it does nothing to help the way his heart is pounding in his chest. </p><p>Lucas is smirking as Eliott turns to him, his eyes skating down to where Eliott’s shirt hangs loose before rising to catch his eyes. He looks… proud. That’s the look reflected in the deep blue of his eyes. And all at once, Eliott feels… settled… calmer and more at peace than he has all evening.</p><p>Lucas wants him. Badly. Eliott wants him back. Just as desperately as he ever has.</p><p>All is right in their world.</p><p>* * * *</p><p>They’ve been at the party for a grand total of <em>maybe </em>ten minutes and Eliott is going to lose his goddamn mind. He’s convinced Lucas is being especially hot for the sole purpose of driving Eliott to the brink of total madness.</p><p>Lucas stands across the room in conversation with Alex. He’s rolled the sleeves of his shirt up and his tattoo stands out, bright and colourful in the twinkly lights hanging down the wall of the living room. Alex laughs at something Lucas has said, moving a hand to clasp the spot Eliott had admired on Lucas earlier – that space where Lucas’s neck and shoulder meet. Eliott twitches.</p><p>“Are you planning on listening at any point in this conversation or should I leave you to your staring contest with Lucas?”</p><p>Eliott looks quickly back to where not just Imane, but Mika stare at him with identical expressions of judgement. He adopts an appropriately apologetic expression. “Sorry, sorry. I was just –”</p><p>“Ignoring us in favour of staring at your boy,” Mika finishes for him. “We know.” He turns to look at Imane. “Don’t feel bad about it. This is my life at the hospital.”</p><p>“I can only imagine,” Imane laughs. “Supervising these two is a challenge I would not trade you for.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Eliott interrupts to disagree. “We’re totally professional when we’re at work.” It’s most certainly a lie, and all three of them know it.</p><p>“Mmhmm,” Mika hums with an eyebrow raised. “And last week when you both showed up to rounds, sweaty and out of breath? You expect me to believe you hadn’t just been fucking in an on-call room?” They hadn’t actually. On that particular occasional they had been rushed and nearly late because they’d spent the morning fucking <em>at home</em>.</p><p>Eliott smiles smugly. “We hadn’t been. Because: <em>professional</em>.” Mika rolls his eyes and Eliott turns his attention back to Imane. “Besides, it’s not a staring contest.”</p><p>“Oh no?” She questions, looking amused.</p><p>“No. He’d have to be looking back for it to be a staring contest.” Eliott eyes return to Lucas to see that he and Alex have been joined by Emma. She hangs off Alex looking like she’s been happily partaking in the plentiful alcoholic options the apartment has to offer.</p><p>“Well, if there’s one thing I know for absolute certain,” Imane says, her hand landing on Eliott’s shoulder as she too turns to look Lucas’s direction. “You’re not going to have to wait long for him to look back.”</p><p>* * * *</p><p>Eliott mingles among the guests, making pleasant conversation but the buzz beneath his skin doesn’t fade. It’s matched by the buzz of party guests as the clock approaches midnight.</p><p>Eliott admires Lucas in the room through his various conversations, but at one point, deep into a conversation with Imane and Sofiane, Eliott looses sight of him among the guests.</p><p>“I think the way the show blends philosophical theory with real world problems and does it in this way that’s just really, <em>really </em>funny is what captured my attention most,” Imane is saying. Eliott nods as he listens, subtly scanning the faces behind her for any sign of his disappearing boyfriend.</p><p>“And yet it took me forever to convince you to watch,” Sofiane says with a laugh.</p><p>“I don’t like sitcoms,” she defends with a smile. “How was I supposed to know it was brilliant?”</p><p>“Because I told you?” Sofiane asks incredulously. Eliott laughs along with Imane as his attention returns to the couple. “Admit it,” Sofiane prompts, “you only agreed to watch when Lucas told you to.”</p><p>“What can I say?” Imane says, her tone teasing. “I value his taste.”</p><p>“Careful in insulting my taste,” Sofiane challenges, pulling Imane closer with an arm wrapped around her waist. “That includes you.”</p><p>“Oh, where I’m concerned, your taste is impeccable,” she responds with a grin. “In television, I defer to Lucas.”</p><p>Eliott laughs a little. “You really shouldn’t. Lucas’s taste in TV is a strange and confusing thing.” Both Imane and Sofiane laugh as Eliott adds, “And he only watched The Good Place because of me.” Maybe he’s a little proud of that fact.</p><p>“Have you gotten to that part when –” Sofiane is immediately cut off by Imane smacking a hand against his chest. And while Sofiane’s sentence didn’t give away a thing, she seems to know where his sentence was headed anyways.</p><p>“No! You’ll spoil them like you did me! They’ve only just started the third season.”</p><p>Eliott frowns. “We’re just at the end of the second season actually. Besides I’ve seen the whole show. It’s only Lucas you could spoil.”</p><p>Imane looks to him with furrowed eyebrows. “Lucas said he’s already watched a couple episodes from season three.”</p><p>Eliott gasps, almost choking on his outraged breath. “He what?!”</p><p>Imane looks faintly apologetic while Sofiane only looks confused. “What am I missing?” He asks.</p><p>“Lucas watched without me,” Eliott answers. “I cannot believe…”</p><p>“Didn’t you just say you’ve already seen it?” Imane asks, looking like she’s one breath from a full-body laugh.</p><p>“That’s not the point!” Eliott argues. “That little brat knows it too. Oh, I’m going to…” He can’t finish his sentence. The unspeakable things he wants to do to Lucas in punishment not at all appropriate for the ears of his friends. He quickly scans the room once more and this time there are eyes looking back. Lucas. And he’s <em>finally </em>looking back.</p><p>He stands just at the edge of the room, leaning against the corner of the wall. He’s with no one else and he’s staring at Eliott with intent. He raises an eyebrow, biting his lower lip and turns, moving into the shadows of the hallway. Eliott just barely remembers to turn back to Imane and Sofiane, offering a pithy excuse they no doubt see right through, both of their faces reflecting barely restrained laughter.</p><p>Eliott hurries across the room, thankful that his desperate chase of Lucas is somewhat masked by how crowded the space is, filled with friends, hospital staff, and any number of faces Eliott has never seen before in his life. When he reaches the hall, he finds Lucas standing next to what had once been Eliott’s bedroom door. Eliott approaches cautiously, hyper aware of the other people crowding the hallway as they wait for access to the one bathroom.</p><p>“Took you long enough,” Lucas says and reaches for the door handle.</p><p>Eliott grabs his hand before he opens it. “Lucas,” he warns, “it’s not my room anymore.” He doesn’t know why he bothers to object. He’d follow Lucas anywhere.</p><p>Lucas smirks. “That gonna stop you?”</p><p>Eliott stares at him, eyes dropping to the smug curl of Lucas’s lips. “Fuck no.” He reaches for the doorknob himself, twisting it and pushing Lucas into the space as someone in line behind them says something about the room being off limits. Eliott ignores them, following Lucas in and locking the door behind them. He reaches for the light switch, flicking it on to illuminate the space in a dim glow.</p><p>Lucille and Alex made good on their desire to turn the room into a home gym of sorts. The equipment is lacking but it’s been clearly split between Lucille’s space, filled with a yoga mat, a number of foam blocks, exercise bands and weights, and Alex’s space, which consists of a weight bench and a selection of heavier weights.</p><p>Eliott couldn’t care less. The only thing that matters is Lucas, standing at the center of the space, his chest rising and falling with his unsteady breaths, beautiful, and looking at Eliott like this is all he’s wanted too – the both of them – <em>only </em>them – together. Finally.</p><p>Eliott would swear the force of their impact as they reach for one another shakes the room. He wraps Lucas in his arms as they kiss, squeezing him tightly as he presses his tongue into Lucas’s mouth, matching the frenzy of his hands moving across Lucas’s body with that of his tongue. He slides a hand down until it reaches Lucas’s ass, squeezing one round cheek before drifting further, sliding down the seam of his pants until he can press fingers against the spot he knows the plug is buried deep inside Lucas’s body.</p><p>Lucas rips his mouth away with an animalistic sound when Eliott does so, throwing his head back as he grinds his body forward and into Eliott.</p><p>“God,” Eliott groans as he watches him. “You drive me crazy.”</p><p>“Eliott, Eliott,” Lucas gasps, pushing Eliott’s hands away from him until he’s able to reach for his own clothing. “Now, now,” he chants nonsensically. “Off. Get them off.” What he means is clear enough in the way he’s ridding himself of his own clothes, almost ripping the buttons of his shirt as frantically goes about removing it.</p><p>Eliott doesn’t needs to be directed further, quickly stripping himself of every item of clothing and watching as Lucas wobbles unsteadily as he kicks off his pants. Lucas’s erection stands proud, jutting hard and red from his body. It makes Eliott feel a bit better about the state of his own dick, throbbing so badly he knows they’re in no danger of being in the room long enough to be discovered. He feels ready to burst at the simple feel of Lucas’s eyes on him.</p><p>“On the bench.”</p><p>Lucas’s eyebrows rise in question before he looks beside him to where Alex’s weight bench rests. There’s a slight slant to Lucas’s smile as he glances back to Eliott. “You think you can tell me what to do?”</p><p>Oh god. If Lucas really thinks tonight is the night to <em>continue </em>being a sassy, teasing, little shit, he’s got another thing coming.</p><p>“Yes.” Eliott’s voice has dropped a couple octaves without conscious intent and he sees Lucas shiver at the sound. “Now. On your back.”</p><p>Lucas swallows heavily but does as told, sitting down on the bench first and releasing a surprised gasp. He’d done that at the dinner table too when they’d arrived back after using the bathroom. He’d gasped, just a little, as he’d sat down, squirming slightly until he’d apparently found a position – an <em>angle</em> – that had satisfied him, and he’d rejoined conversation. No one had noticed but Eliott, and the knowledge had filled his body with a growing heat that had settled into a smolder in his balls. That they had made it through the rest of the dinner without Eliott mounting him in the middle of the restaurant, directly on the table, had felt like an accomplishment in itself.  </p><p>Lucas rolls down onto his back, blinking up at Eliott with wide and expectant eyes. Eliott approaches slowly, eyes tracking down Lucas’s body until he reaches his feet, pressed to the bench.</p><p>“Bend your knees. Back to your chest.”</p><p>He sees the way Lucas inhales – the way he pauses before obeying, no doubt torn between his constant need to challenge Eliott, and his more overwhelming desire to listen… to let Eliott give him what he wants. His eyes war until in the end, he does as told, bending his knees back to his chest and revealing the end of the plug tucked up inside him. Eliott inhales sharply at the sight, pressing a hand against the back of Lucas’s thigh to spread him further. Eliott rests a knee against the bench and moves a hand to the plug, pressing his thumb down onto the circular end. It’s blue – <em>sparkly</em> and blue.</p><p>“Eliott. Fuck.”</p><p>Eliott looks up to see Lucas’s eyes squeezed shut. He’s raised his arms above his head and holds tight to the other end of the bench.</p><p>“Feel good?” Eliott asks, pressing against the plug once more.</p><p>“God,” Lucas groans, hazy eyes blinking open to stare down at Eliott. “Yes.” He sucks in a breath before speaking once more, his voice demanding. “Now get it out of me and fuck me already.” It’s the sort of demand Eliott is happy to obey.  </p><p>Eliott grips the edges of the plug and tugs gently, watching the way the flared end stretches Lucas’s hole. His muscles clench as though attempting to hold onto the silicone shape as it leaves his body, tightening again when he’s left empty. Eliott moves a thumb to his rim, slick with the remnants of lube.</p><p>“Eliott.” Lucas’s leg lashes out, catching Eliott in the shoulder.</p><p>Eliott stumbles back slightly on his heels, raising an unimpressed eyebrow as he looks up at Lucas. “Impatient?”</p><p>“This is supposed to be a quicky,” Lucas pants, doing his best to look annoyed though the sweaty flush to his face robs him of the composure he seeks. “Put it in me.”</p><p>“It?” Eliott grins, holding up the butt plug, shiny and gleaming in the bedroom light. “This? Or me?”</p><p>The colour in Lucas’s cheeks deepens to an even more impressive red, just as Eliott expected it to. “God. Just… you. Put that down. Get inside me.” Lucas bends his knees back towards his chest, spreading his legs while he does so and Eliott feels a measure of his self control slip. He swallows.</p><p>“Yeah. Yeah, I – lube?”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head. “I’m fine. I lubed up before. Just fuck me already.”</p><p>And Eliott would like to – and he <em>plans</em> to but… this is the first time they’ve done it like this and he’s not taking any chances. “Lucas. Tell me you brought lube.”</p><p>Lucas huffs, looking irritated but resigned. “Fine,” he groans. “Pants pocket.”</p><p>Eliott grins and rushes to find it, pulling out the small tube but pausing before slicking himself up. He looks back to Lucas in question. “Bare?”</p><p>Lucas nods. “Yeah. C’mon. Hurry.”</p><p>“But…” Eliott moves towards him, unsure. “It’ll be messy after. Not like we’re at home.”</p><p>Lucas shakes his head, looking suddenly just a little shy. “No, it won’t.” He directs his eyes to where Eliott had placed the plug, propped beside their clothing. The meaning behind his words sinks into Eliott’s slowly, and with heady awareness he looks back to his boyfriend spread before him on the bench. “Yeah,” Lucas whispers as though Eliott had spoken a question out loud. “Yeah. Now.”</p><p>Eliott’s hands shake as he coats his erection with lube. He wipes the remnants on his own thighs as he reaches for Lucas, sliding him until his ass reaches the end of the bench. Lucas allows the manhandling, holding the back of his own thighs to spread himself further.</p><p>“Baby,” Eliott whispers overwhelmed as he takes hold of his erection and leans down with his other hand steadying himself above Lucas’s head on the bench.</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas groans as the blunt head of Eliott’s cock presses into him. “Fuck. Yeah.”</p><p>Eliott removes his hand from his erection as he sinks deeper, clasping it to the side of Lucas’s ribcage instead as he breathes through the incredible feeling of sinking into the tight heat of Lucas’s body. He’ll never get used to this feeling – the physical sensation of being inside Lucas without a barrier matched with the extraordinary knowledge of what it means to get to do so, the incredible trust Lucas shows in allowing him this privilege.</p><p>Lucas’s hands move to Eliott’s chest, scratching lightly as he moans. “Move. Fucking move.”</p><p>Eliott chuckles lightly. “I will. But baby?” He struggles to speak, his voice strained and words clipped.</p><p>“What?” Lucas gasps, squirming beneath him as though he could force Eliott deeper. “Fucking – what?!”</p><p>“Need you to co – come for me ok?”</p><p>Lucas releases a breath like a laugh. “Yeah. Was planning to.”</p><p>“No.” Eliott waits until Lucas’s eyes focus on him. “Fast. Need you to come fast because I’m gonna –”</p><p>Lucas nods, jerky and a little frantic now. “Yeah, I – I will. Please, Eli. Please.”</p><p>Eliott inhales a deep breath, searching for control as he pulls his cock from Lucas’s body. It shouldn’t be this good already – when they’ve barely even begun. Somehow, it always is. Somehow, every time Eliott is inside Lucas it feels as overwhelming – as <em>fucking good</em> – as it did the first time. He slams back in. They both grunt with the impact and Lucas throws his head back, his nails biting into Eliott’s shoulders.</p><p>Eliott doesn’t bother with a building rhythm, making it hard and fast from the very first stroke. It’s what they both need and there’s sense in pretending otherwise. Eliott presses his body down against Lucas and barely pulls out, pounding up into him with a force that would have Lucas’s body pushed up and off the bench if not for the way Eliott’s weight holds him down.</p><p>Lucas can barely squeeze a hand between them, but he manages, reaching to wrap it around the head of his own erection as he shudders with each thrust of Eliott’s cock inside him. When his eyes open and fix on Eliott, there’s a need in them Eliott knows just how to meet. He leans down, pressing lips against Lucas’s ear as he continues his relentless pace driving into Lucas’s body. His own orgasm is licking at his balls, just on the precipice of exploding, but he holds it back, determined to give Lucas this first. His voice.</p><p>“That’s it, baby,” Eliott encourages. “My boy. Beautiful boy. Come for me. Lu.” He presses a kiss to Lucas’s temple as he feels his control begin to slip. “Love you. Fuck. Love you.” Lucas makes a low sound, and his body seizes with his orgasm, coming apart as he shakes in Eliott’s arms.</p><p>Eliott’s body reads it as a signal, and he groans loudly, falling down onto Lucas as his orgasm washes through him. He drives his cock up into Lucas’s body in a series of rapid bursts as he rides out the wave, gasping for air as the pleasure releases its strangle hold on his lungs.</p><p>He lays against Lucas, face tilted down against Lucas’s chest as he feels the rise and fall of the chest beneath him. When he finds the strength to press himself up it’s the sight of Lucas, sweaty and red, and looking so incredibly well fucked and content, one would think they’d been at it all night versus the… well, Eliott doesn’t want to admit exactly how pathetic both of their stamina was in this case. Though there <em>is </em>a certain level of pride that comes with knowing Lucas was just as hopeless.  </p><p>Lucas licks his lips as he stares up at Eliott. “You should put it back in.” His voice is low and husky with satisfaction. Eliott looks at him in confusion, glancing down to where he hasn’t yet parted their bodies and his cock remains, buried inside Lucas’s body. “The plug,” Lucas says, reading Eliott’s confusion. “You should put it back in.”</p><p>Eliott’s eyes snap shut and he groans as his cock jerks inside Lucas, making one last valiant effort to fill Lucas even further with evidence of him. “Oh god.”</p><p>Lucas squirms beneath him. “Eliott. Do it.”</p><p>Eliott nods. “Ok.” He inhales sharply as he pulls his spent cock from Lucas’s body. He reaches for the plug, pressing the tip against the dribble of come that’s already begun leaking from Lucas’s body, moving it until the tip becomes shiny with come. He stares mesmerized by the sight.</p><p>“Eliott. Fuck!” Lucas reaches to grab the plug from his hands and shoves it into his body without ceremony, inhaling around a gasp as he does so.</p><p>Eliott’s lower lip juts out in a pout. “I would have done it.”</p><p>Lucas snorts as he sits up on the bench. “Sure.” He grimaces as he stands, squirming slightly as he gets used to the feeling of it back inside him.</p><p>“Is it ok?” Eliott asks. “If it’s uncomfortable – if it hurts – we can take it out.”</p><p>“No,” Lucas answers immediately with a shake of his head as he goes about collecting his clothes. He reaches for a roll of paper towels at the side of the room, quickly cleaning the evidence of his own orgasm from his stomach, before he tosses the roll to Eliott. “Just feels a little strange.” He begins to put on his underwear and pants and Eliott moves to do the same, after a cursory cleaning of the bench and himself.</p><p>“It feels… wetter.”</p><p>Eliott freezes in the midst of buttoning back up his shirt. He looks back at Lucas to see he’s struggling to do the same. And it’s just… the reality of what they’ve done slams into Eliott a little like a second orgasm, the wave of euphoria so instant, he’s a bit lightheaded with it. “I came inside you.”</p><p>Lucas glances up, having just finished buttoning his shirt. “Yeah?”</p><p>Eliott swallows heavily, removing his hands from the buttons of his own shirt when Lucas steps forward to finish the job. “It’s – it’s like I still am. Inside you.”</p><p>Lucas doesn’t look up, studiously fastening the last of the buttons of Eliott’s shirt but he nods. “Feels that way too. It’s like – I can feel <em>you</em>.”</p><p>“Lucas,” Eliott breathes and reaching for Lucas’s face, tilting it up until he can press their lips together. They both sink into a soft kiss, enjoying the taste of one another’s mouths without the frenzy of their former need driving every movement. Lucas pushes him back after a moment with a soft smile.</p><p>“Come on. Probably near midnight by now.”</p><p>If Eliott’s honest, he’d forgotten about the celebration of the New Year entirely. He’s almost a little sad they didn’t time it so he <em>was </em>inside Lucas as the clock struck twelve – just as Lucas had originally suggested.</p><p>They attract a few curious glances as they leave the room, and at least a few giggles, but thankfully the hallway is filled with no one Eliott immediately recognizes.</p><p>“Where you two been?” Arthur asks as they re-enter the living room. Despite the question, his expression suggests he already knows. “You almost missed it,” he continues, voice raised to be heard over the din of rising noise in the room. “Minute to go!” He adds. Eliott smiles. He supposes, in the end, he and Lucas did time that quite well.</p><p>Lucas is suddenly tugging at his hand, pulling him towards the front door of the apartment.</p><p>“Lucas?” Eliott questions but follows. “What are you doing?”</p><p>Lucas looks back at him with a wide grin, his eyes lit up with a familiar blend of excitement and mischief. “Let’s go!”</p><p>Eliott doesn’t question him, rushing to find their jackets as they hurry from the apartment. Lucas breaks out into a run the moment they reach the hallway.</p><p>“Lucas!” Eliott calls out laughing, immediately giving chase. “What are you doing?!”</p><p>“There’s no time!” Lucas yells, bolting down the stairway and not stopping until they both burst into the cold night air.</p><p>It’s begun raining Eliott realizes with surprise. It’s a light drizzle but cold. It’s the sort of rain that hints at snow, though they’re unlikely to get it, and he suddenly desperately wants to see Lucas in the snow. Eliott can perfectly picture the snowflakes catching on his eyelashes.</p><p>“We should go north.”</p><p>Lucas spins around in the rain, his smile as bright as the moonlight casting a glow around them. “What?”</p><p>“Next Christmas. We should go north. I want snow.”</p><p>“Ok,” Lucas agrees with a laugh.</p><p>The distant sound of people chanting the countdown sounds from the building. Their friends or someone else celebrating, Eliott doesn’t know. It doesn’t matter. He reaches for Lucas just as Lucas does the same, and they pull one another close.</p><p>
  <em>Eight! Seven!</em>
</p><p>A raindrop drips down Lucas’s face. The rain is growing heavier. </p><p>“We should get out of the rain,” Eliott suggests. “It’s cold.”</p><p>
  <em>Five! Four!</em>
</p><p>“No,” Lucas disagrees, tilting his head back to catch more drops on his face. “I love it.”</p><p>The sound of the countdown drifts into background noise, irrelevant and unimportant when faced with the beauty of the boy in his arms.</p><p>“I knew I loved you then.”</p><p>Lucas looks back to him. “What?”</p><p>“That day in the rain,” Eliott continues. “When we drove back from my parents place. I knew I loved you then.”</p><p>Lucas’s mouth parts with his surprise, before a smile begins pulling at the corners of his mouth. “I loved you then too.”</p><p>Eliott stares at him in wonder. “You did?”</p><p>“Yeah,” Lucas admits with a slight laugh. “Was pretty annoyed about how goddamn much I did but, yeah – I loved you then.”</p><p>A wide smile stretches across Eliott’s face. “I love you now too.”</p><p>Lucas smiles, sweet and pleased. “Good. Now kiss me. You missed the countdown, you dork.”</p><p>The noise of New Year’s revelers suddenly filters back into Eliott’s consciousness, cheers and laughter mixed with the pop of fireworks being set off in all corners. He smiles.</p><p>“Maybe,” he admits. “We’ve always been better at making our own rules.”</p><p>Lucas makes a sound of amusement, looking charmed. “Gonna make our own countdown then?”</p><p>“Five, four –”</p><p>Lucas cuts him off, pressing their lips together in a hard, lingering kiss before he pulls back.</p><p>“So fucking cheesy I don’t know what I see in you.”  </p><p>Eliott laughs into the next kiss, smiling too hard - far too fucking happy - to do more than press their lips together in an uncoordinated attempt at sharing his bliss with Lucas.  </p><p>Lucas’s eyes are shining when Eliott separates them to look at him once more.</p><p>“Why’d you pull me out here?”</p><p>Lucas’s eyes move to a drop of rain trailing down Eliott’s cheek and he cups his hand there, his thumb brushing across the skin to capture the moisture. When his eyes look back to Eliott’s they’re filled with such warmth, it spreads through Eliott like a living flame, fierce and powerful, but comforting too. And he feels safe. Safe and so very loved.</p><p>“I only ever want to be with you.”</p><p>
  
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  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I hope you liked! </p><p>Just a couple notes: </p><p>- The whole light installation in the xmas eve snippet was inspired by one I saw when I lived in Montreal. It wasn’t exactly like that but quite similar and I hope the way I described it sounded cool because it really was! </p><p>- The dirty gingerbread cookies were inspired by a most hilarious meme that I saw and instantly knew screamed Mood Tattoo Lucas ;) </p><p>Happy New Year my friends and good riddance to 2020!</p>
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